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It's here!
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An autographed picture of Kobe Bryant?
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Yep, yep, and look how he signed it. To
my very best friends, Tamara and Tina.
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00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:16,920
Oh yes, I can fix it, I can fix it.
Well, you better, because we've got to
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00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:21,400
Miss Melissa off of her pedestal. You
see, Melissa is this new rich girl at
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00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,540
school, and she's already twice as
popular as us. Well, that's because she
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what it takes to be popular in high
school.
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Prop! Like, for instance, we got the
Fuji CD, she got the Fuji concert
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00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,360
On our birthday, we handed out looty
bags.
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00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,520
And on her birthday, she handed out
televisions.
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00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:44,960
But this is the prop that will put us on
top.
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00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,760
You made it out just for you personally.
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Yep, the best 20 bucks plus tax,
shipping, and handling we've ever spent.
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Melissa, look what we have.
15
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Please.
16
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That's not his autograph.
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00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:07,738
Oh, yeah?
18
00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:10,900
Well, what makes you an expert on Kobe
Bryant's handwriting?
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You're right. What would I know? Let's
ask a real expert.
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Oh, Kobe!
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Thank you.
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for daddy.
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I'm not in training. I'm at it for
Wally's Waffles. Home with a hot
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flapjack.
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00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:34,060
A mean outside shot and he's cute.
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00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,720
Oh, I hear you two are having a party
tonight?
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So am I. Oh, um, I don't think so,
Melissa.
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Everybody's invited to our party, right?
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Did I mention that Kobe will be at mine?
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It's like we're invisible.
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Oh, gee, it's not that bad. Oh, yeah, it
is.
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00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:30,650
Sorry,
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girls, I didn't see.
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00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:34,610
It's that bad.
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00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:37,050
Why so glum, my little chums?
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Well, Melissa is filling all of our
juice.
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Naturally. But she's jealous.
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She's a half a cup of nothing, and you
two are a double dose of all that.
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00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:48,170
Really?
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00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,270
Thanks, Roger.
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00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:51,730
Well, it's good to know we have one
loyal friend.
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00:03:52,510 --> 00:03:55,670
Loyal's a dog, sweet things. Put a
collar on me and call me Lassie.
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00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:56,960
Hey, Roger.
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Toby wants to meet you.
45
00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:01,180
Toby Bryant?
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Nice knowing you.
47
00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,100
Oh,
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Lassie, come home.
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00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:15,560
Thank you. Well, you can boil it, steam
it, or fry it. It's still gonna be your
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00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:16,560
face.
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00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,260
Lisa, I'm sick. I got a cold in my nose.
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Oh, poor baby.
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You know what you need?
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00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:31,330
hot eucalyptus bath, a good bath rub,
and some nice homemade comfy food.
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That be good?
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00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:33,650
That be real good.
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00:04:34,330 --> 00:04:35,770
You want Mama to take care of it for
you?
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Uh -huh.
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00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:38,050
Fine.
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00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:41,810
Here are the yellow pages. Look on the
dream on, Slappy. I got me a date
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00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:42,810
tonight.
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00:04:43,730 --> 00:04:44,750
You do? Tonight?
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00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:45,909
Mm -hmm.
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00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,150
With Dr. Gordon B. Gorgeous.
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00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,810
Hooray. I think that this is the man for
me.
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00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:54,630
Oh. You got a problem with that?
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00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,149
Oh, no, no, no.
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00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:57,150
I'm happy for you.
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00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:58,550
Not as happy as me.
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00:04:59,190 --> 00:05:02,970
Because he is successful, he's
brilliant, he's handsome. Oh, oh, and I
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00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:03,970
wrote the pilot for E .R.
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00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:06,390
Hello?
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00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,250
Hi, it's for you.
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00:05:12,410 --> 00:05:16,130
Oh, no one ever calls us. Yeah,
Melissa's stolen our posse.
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00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:20,650
Miss Fang is still on your case? Oh, and
then some.
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00:05:20,890 --> 00:05:24,570
Mom, she's giving the party of the
century tonight, starring Kobe Bryant.
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00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,940
How can we compete with that? Yeah, no
one's coming to our party. Oh, baby.
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00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,880
I just don't understand why anybody
would want to hang out with that Melissa
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00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:35,220
when they could hang out with my girl.
Well, her daddy's rich. He owns that
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00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:36,760
stupid chain of Wally restaurants.
81
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:38,760
Wally's Waffles?
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00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:42,820
When the good Lord calls, girls just
bury me with two things, a picture of
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00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,180
Denzel on my heart and a Wally's Waffle
in my mouth.
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00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,260
No, Bruno, you're going to have to pick
him up for me.
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00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,200
Yeah, and don't keep him waiting. He's a
very big music star.
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00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:59,380
Relax, relax, Tamara. Your father's out
there with big music stars. That guy who
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00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,080
taps out tunes on his head at the park.
88
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:03,460
Oh, really?
89
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,100
Well, does the name Chili T ring a bell?
90
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:07,720
Ding dong!
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00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,080
Good, because I never heard of him. Oh,
Dad!
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00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:15,520
No, I'm sorry, Pumpkin, but you cannot
ride to the airport with Bruno.
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00:06:19,390 --> 00:06:22,930
Girls, he got a limousine so he could
have his privacy. I'm afraid you're
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00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:23,930
to have to respect that.
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I understand.
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00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:28,450
Hello, Bruno?
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00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:29,890
It's Tamira Campbell.
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Tamira, hey, do you want to be popular
or not?
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00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:35,970
Uh, I'm calling for my dad.
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00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:38,430
We found another driver.
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00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:40,550
What driver?
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00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:57,520
her party we're gonna get a music
superstar for hours yeah well what are
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gonna say hi chili we're big fans want
to come hang out in our living room
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00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:03,060
for me
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00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:35,830
Get that thing out of my face, man.
106
00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:41,490
Okay, let's go to plan B. Fine.
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What's plan B?
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Hi.
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Welcome to Detroit, Mr. T.
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Tilly?
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00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:56,670
Sir? Hold on.
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The record company sent a couple of
teenage girls to be my drivers?
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00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:01,790
Yes.
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00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:03,370
They got my memo. Cool.
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00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:06,800
One or two, just step it up. Let's go.
Come on. Hit it.
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Smooth.
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Where's the vapor?
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00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:26,180
Whoa, mama.
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00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:28,780
What are you wearing?
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00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:31,460
Makes you want to go caveman, doesn't
it?
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Yabba dabba doo.
122
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,500
Yeah, right, your doctor.
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00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:41,439
Mm -hmm.
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00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,799
Oh, Ray, I've been feeling a little
guilty about leaving you here sick.
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00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:47,500
I mean, the girls are having a party. It
could get kind of noisy. So I fixed you
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up a batch of Granny Landry's Quick -Fix
Elixir Mix.
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00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:55,280
Yeah, one sip and you'll sleep like a
fresh -burnt baby.
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00:08:56,140 --> 00:08:57,139
What's in it?
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00:08:57,140 --> 00:08:59,600
Oh, it's a family secret. Granny took
the recipe to her grave.
130
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,920
Or was it a recipe to Granny to her
grave? Here, try it.
131
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:04,660
No, thank you.
132
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,740
I don't go in for that hocus -pocus
stuff.
133
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:10,260
There's no hocus pocus here. Oh, wait,
forgot one thing.
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00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,780
She like a, like a high. She like a,
like a high.
135
00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:15,300
A walla, walla, bang, bang. Go, go, go.
Here, here, drink up.
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00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,200
I think not.
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00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,760
I'll just crawl on down to the pharmacy
and get me some good old -fashioned
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00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,900
drugs. And you have a good old time with
Dr. Love.
139
00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:31,780
Ray, am I crazy or are you just a wee
bit jealous?
140
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,640
You're crazy.
141
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,730
Good, because we've been living on the
same roof now for three years and ain't
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00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:37,730
nothing going on but the rent.
143
00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:39,910
Well, that's the way I like it.
144
00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:43,390
Why, don't you? Oh, wouldn't have it any
other way.
145
00:09:43,990 --> 00:09:44,990
Me either.
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00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:53,650
Nothing.
147
00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:59,550
Man, how does this woman find out where
I'm staying?
148
00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:02,250
She left me ten messages at the Hilton
already.
149
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,050
Chili, come to dinner.
150
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,320
Chili, stay the night. Chili, I just
want to be with you. I keep telling her,
151
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,020
maybe at Thanksgiving, Mom.
152
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,600
You guys got to find me another hotel,
all right?
153
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,660
Uh, well, there's the Gorm Shepherd.
154
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,840
Nah, nah, forget that bougie joint.
Look, I'm trying to bring on the noise,
155
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:25,060
bring on the funk, tear it out the
frame, rip up some furniture. I'm trying
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00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:26,420
get my party on.
157
00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,720
Party? Did you say party? Yeah.
158
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:38,030
Oh, we can hook you up with a party.
159
00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:42,730
We know a hotel with a party never
stops.
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00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:44,270
We do.
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00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:51,470
Mr. Chili Tea, we're taking you to the
Landry Campbell.
162
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:06,920
What kind of hotel is this?
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00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,620
Uh, it's not exactly a hotel.
164
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,100
It's more like a home -tel.
165
00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:17,300
Just a little cozier.
166
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,320
So, when's the party start?
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00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:25,700
Hey, coming right up. In the meantime,
why don't you help yourself to the fully
168
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:29,600
stocked honor kitchen? Yeah, but not the
cheesecake. That's Lisa's. Who?
169
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,760
Oh, she's the housekeeper.
170
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,610
She gets free cheesecake instead of a
dental plan.
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00:11:38,970 --> 00:11:40,110
This row for guests?
172
00:11:40,570 --> 00:11:41,590
Oh, yeah, sure. Help yourself.
173
00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,170
What does RC stand for?
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00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:48,250
Uh, really comfortable.
175
00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:51,970
Who?
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00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:58,410
Sarah, are you crazy? We're going to get
into so much trouble. No, Tia, I think
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00:11:58,410 --> 00:12:03,050
we're lucking out here. Not only is Dad
asleep and Lisa out, but this guy's
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really stupid.
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00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:12,340
and tell him to come meet him.
180
00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:14,460
Hi, Mom.
181
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,360
Mom! What are you doing here?
182
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:21,560
I am just way too excited about this
doctor. I got halfway to the restaurant
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00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,300
realized I left my car keys in the
kitchen.
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00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:25,920
Mom!
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00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,520
Lisa, wait!
186
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,320
Oh.
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00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,860
Actually, I'm glad you're still up.
There's something that I need to say.
188
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,220
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lisa, I know. You love
me, right?
189
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:40,700
No!
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00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:47,419
Nah, I go.
191
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:48,279
Get out.
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00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:51,520
Stay out all night. Get a whack there.
Oh, you get out.
193
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,020
Good night.
194
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,040
Yo, what's up with the housekeeper?
195
00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:01,700
I still better get my men on my pillow,
you know what I'm saying?
196
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:06,780
Smooth.
197
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,480
Come on, one and two. Y 'all gonna have
to do better than that.
198
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,200
That's Chili T.
199
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,240
We're gonna party with Chili T?
200
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:32,560
Oh, please tell him we're gonna party
with Chili T. Yep, he's her bud.
201
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:37,220
He's a regular party animal. He's gonna
pose for pictures, sign autographs. Come
202
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:40,280
on, come on. Okay, now, call everyone
about the party except for Melissa.
203
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:44,520
Come on, one and two. Let's get this
party started, right?
204
00:13:55,630 --> 00:13:56,870
I'm Ray Campbell. This is my place.
205
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,730
Oh. Well, I'm chilly.
206
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,470
Oh, is that why you're in that robe?
207
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:03,050
Hey, Lisa left it out for me.
208
00:14:03,290 --> 00:14:04,290
She what?
209
00:14:04,650 --> 00:14:07,530
I mean, what is it? Only one robe for
the whole darn place?
210
00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:08,950
Take it.
211
00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:11,670
Smells like VapoRub anyway.
212
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:16,630
You know, from what Lisa said, you're
not at all what I pictured.
213
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:18,630
Where do you practice?
214
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:20,350
Pretty much anywhere.
215
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,130
Garages.
216
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,280
Don't you even sterilize your
instruments?
217
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,040
Why bother? The cat sleeps on them
anyhow.
218
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:31,840
Look, my man, could you go in there and
tell Lisa to give me some more of this
219
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:32,679
funky lemonade?
220
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:33,680
I'm starting to run out.
221
00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:41,180
Look, this is none of my business, but
Lisa deserves to be treated with
222
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:42,500
She's a wonderful woman.
223
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:43,920
So what?
224
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,700
After tonight, I won't need her anymore.
What?
225
00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:58,690
Now you get right back to bed before you
catch pneumonia, Mr. Harper. I don't
226
00:14:58,690 --> 00:14:59,950
want to sleep. I'm too upset.
227
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,350
What I need to do is take a long, long
drive.
228
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:03,389
Oh, great!
229
00:15:03,390 --> 00:15:07,930
Drive north to Canada. Way north. That
crisp Arctic air would do you good.
230
00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:10,090
Promise me one thing.
231
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:14,570
That you and your friends won't have
anything to do with Lisa's boyfriend
232
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:17,070
tonight. I tell you, that guy is bad
news.
233
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:18,430
We promise.
234
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,650
Quick fix -y lick -sermick.
235
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:51,870
Oh, man, is he out for long?
236
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:53,110
Put it this way.
237
00:15:53,210 --> 00:15:56,130
Mom, give me a spoon for once, and I
miss half a third grade.
238
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,480
I've waited for you all my life.
239
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,600
Where you been waiting? Because I've
been looking.
240
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,440
All day.
241
00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:36,840
Everywhere I turn, I saw your face.
242
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,140
Does that mean I'm falling in love?
243
00:16:42,380 --> 00:16:45,380
Well, Gordon, you know what they say.
244
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:50,760
When all you can see is that special
someone, it can only mean one thing.
245
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:00,340
Don't be afraid.
246
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,860
Maybe you'll fall in love.
247
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:03,780
With you?
248
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:04,980
Who cares?
249
00:17:11,099 --> 00:17:13,240
I'm sorry.
250
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,540
I'm sorry, Gordon. I think I better go.
251
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:18,839
Lisa, wait. Don't go. I think I love
you.
252
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:44,710
I'm ashamed of you, my skeptical
brother.
253
00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:46,110
You the mad chill.
254
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:47,450
Dap me, bruh.
255
00:18:12,010 --> 00:18:14,170
What did you two do to me? Wait, wait,
Chili, we can explain.
256
00:18:15,090 --> 00:18:16,090
No, forget it.
257
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,230
I'm out of here.
258
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,710
As soon as I can remember how these
things work.
259
00:18:22,930 --> 00:18:24,150
Hey, what's wrong with Chili?
260
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:24,979
You're bringing chili down.
261
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:26,020
It's already down.
262
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,299
Shut up.
263
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:32,080
Yeah, the big dope doped up on cold
medicine. It's just as well. I mean,
264
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,820
wakes up, he's going to remember we
kidnapped him. Yeah, what?
265
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:37,940
Okay, we've lied.
266
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,480
We're not friends with him.
267
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,440
Betting nobody is.
268
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,280
He's even mean to his mom.
269
00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:47,500
We just needed him for props.
270
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,540
Yeah, now we can't even prop him up.
271
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:58,750
If we work this hard just for you to
like us, it's not worth it. Yeah, go on
272
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:00,310
Melissa's party if you like her better.
273
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:03,250
Girl, are you bugging? We don't like
Melissa.
274
00:20:04,150 --> 00:20:07,510
What? Well, why do you guys like hanging
out with her so much?
275
00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:09,770
Hey, she gives out free TVs.
276
00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:12,350
We're shallow.
277
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:14,670
Yeah, what do you want from us? We're
teenagers.
278
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:18,310
Guys, we can't compete with Melissa.
279
00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:20,770
We have nothing to offer you.
280
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:22,270
Sure you do.
281
00:20:22,780 --> 00:20:23,780
You got you.
282
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:27,660
Now let's crank up the jams and make the
neighbors complain.
283
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,340
Roger, you're our neighbor.
284
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,580
Right. I'm not complaining.
21510
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