All language subtitles for Timewasters.S02E05.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:05,240 ♪ No letting go No holding back 2 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:09,640 ♪ Because you are my lady 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,400 ♪ When I'm with you It's all a that 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:18,720 ♪ Girl, I'm so glad we've made it 5 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,680 ♪ No letting go No holding back 6 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,040 - ♪ No holding back... - No, no, no, stop, stop, stop. 7 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,800 Bruv, beg you don't stop me when I'm in the groove. 8 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,520 I wouldn't have to if you lot weren't butchering a classic. 9 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,840 The lyrics are, ‘No letting go, no holding back 10 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,680 because you are my lady'. 11 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,480 ‘Lady', not some skank you picked up behind a Maccy Ds. 12 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,400 All right? From the top again, with feeling. 13 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,960 Man, I don't know. I kind of liked it. 14 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,040 That's weird. 15 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,800 You look a lot like my all-time jazz hero and idol, General L Hands. 16 00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,840 That's cos I am, baby. That's cos I am. 17 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:12,800 So after fees, that's five for me and five for you. 18 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,920 Lauren, if it was my diary that was published, why is my cut so small? 19 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,360 It's all them agent and manager fees. 20 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,040 - But you're my agent and manager. - I know, it's fucking bullshit. 21 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,880 And I know exactly how much is in here, so if any of you touch it, you're dead. 22 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,120 - Why do you look so constipated? - It's this letter from Victoria. 23 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,320 Can you believe she left me here on my own to go to a mate's funeral? 24 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,400 - How inconsiderate of her. - Innit? 25 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,320 Horace, help me read this. 26 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,880 ‘Dear caramel cupcake...' 27 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,560 Something about missing you inside of her. 28 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,040 She doesn't know when she'll be back. 29 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,120 Are you joking? What am I supposed to do in the meantime, cum into thin air? 30 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,960 ‘See you soon, my cuddly bear. Kiss kiss.' 31 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,760 Cuddly? What does she mean, cuddly? 32 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,520 Someone you can cuddle cos they're soft and plump. 33 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,440 Bruv, I am not soft or plump, yeah? This is mass. 34 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,320 Does she think I'm fat? Am I fat? 35 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,680 Guys, what are you lot doing up here? 36 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,040 This letter from Victoria came, innit? 37 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,720 Oh, really? I don't give a fuck, all right? 38 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,280 The incomparable, legendary, one and only General L Hands 39 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,840 is in my jazz club and you lot are pissing around up here. 40 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,480 Do not ruin this for me! 41 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,000 Uh? 42 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:35,600 I can't believe it. General Hands eating reconstituted meat in my jazz club. 43 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,200 Well, Hands had to hear the hype for hisself. 44 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:40,480 Really? 45 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,080 Everybody be like, ‘you got to hear this band play.' 46 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:48,520 I'm like, ‘what, the cat wid da titty bar playing the titty music?' 47 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:53,960 But, shit, they am not lying. Y'all smoother than apple butter. 48 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,720 Oh, my God, thank you! 49 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,640 I mean, I have zero idea what apple butter means... 50 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,200 Flavoured lube. 51 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:07,200 Y'all got it going on. You remind me a lot of me and my... band when we... 52 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,760 - You all right, mate? - I'm fine, I'm fine. 53 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:18,400 It's just a lil ol' house fire a few days ago that burnt my band to death. 54 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,480 Horace, more meat in a tin. 55 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,880 Look at me, crying like a little girl. 56 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,160 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down. 57 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,120 I jus' wanted to tell y'all how good your were, that's all. 58 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,040 No, no, no, no, no, no. Can you not stay for one more? 59 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,840 No, I'll see y'all around. 60 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:40,120 Oh... None of y'all happen to know a hotel around here? 61 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,120 Oh, wait, there's the one on the corner. 62 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:46,760 Yeah, where that young coloured cat got viciously beaten to death. 63 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,200 That's horrible. Why don't you just stay with us? 64 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:52,760 No, Hands don't want to impose... Only if you're sure. 65 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,240 - Of course. - Ha-ah! 66 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,840 You can have Horace's bed. 67 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,400 Oh, and, Hands. Not to step on your dead band mates' toes, 68 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,440 but if you ever want to jam, just let me know. 69 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,480 All right! 70 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:11,040 Or gig. But like a super small gig. A grieving gig, maybe tomorrow night? 71 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,280 Just, you, me, and a small paying audience. 72 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,000 Sure. It sounds nice. 73 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,800 - That way? - Yeah, yeah. 74 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,840 ‘Not to step on your dead band mates' toes?'. 75 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,600 What? He's grieving, and nothing heals the soul more than jazz. 76 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,120 - It's for him, not me. - Really? 77 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,880 Yes, really. It's called being selfless, Lauren. You should try it sometime. 78 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,600 Anyway, what are you complaining about? 79 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,240 If he performs here, do you know how much money he'll bring in? 80 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,240 Hi, Lauren Wolton of Wolton Management. 81 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:46,280 Please make yourself at home. Here's my card. 82 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,200 Don't be fooled by the crayon, I am very professional. 83 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:53,000 ‘Agent to the stars'. I'll be sure to call. 84 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,120 Here's the phone you asked for, Mr Hands. 85 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,720 - Thank you, ah... - Horace. 86 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:02,720 Oh! Pretty name. I had a dog named Horace. 87 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:07,200 Contracted rabies. Had to put it down with my bare hands. 88 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,800 I had a hamster I accidentally sucked up with a Dyson. 89 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:13,840 Well, if you need anything else, just let me know. 90 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,000 I'll be over there, sleeping in the broom cupboard. 91 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,200 - All right. - Okay. 92 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,080 All right. 93 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,680 Hello, Willie. Yeah. 94 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,680 What you mean who it is? 95 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:32,160 Calm down, Willie. I said I'll get your money. 96 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,480 Please, baby, I just need a little mo' time, that's all. 97 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,960 Don't worry about how I'm gon' get it, I'm just gon' get... 98 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,360 (Willie) Hands? Hands? Hands? 99 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,280 Goddamn! 100 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,040 How long you been standing there? 101 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,840 I thought you might want some fresh towels, Mr Hands. 102 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,480 Oh, well, thank you. Thank you. 103 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,360 That was just an old band mate of Hands. 104 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,480 Oh, one of the one's that died in the house fire? 105 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,040 Yeah. No! 106 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,520 No, no, no. 107 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:04,680 From an older band from before the fire. 108 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,200 - Oh, right. - Yeah. 109 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,720 - Yeah. - Yeah. 110 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,480 Yeah... 111 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,840 You don't believe me? You calling Hands a liar? 112 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:14,600 No... 113 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:20,360 That's how you want to play it. Well, two can play at that game, sucker. 114 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,560 What are you doing? 115 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,080 Lauren... 116 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,920 - You'd fuck me, right? - Nothing could make me that desperate. 117 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,640 Victoria am not returning any of my calls. 118 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,080 Are you still obsessing over that? 119 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,880 Maybe I have gained weight, but it am not my fault. 120 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,760 It's all that regurgitated meat and lard that Horace keeps feeding us. 121 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,920 Plus no one in this backward century has heard of a fucking kettle bell! 122 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,640 (sounds of anguish) 123 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,240 - What's the hell is that? - (Hands) Ooh, help me, help me! 124 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,640 - (Nick) Mr Hands, what's wrong? - My voice, my voice. Take it out. 125 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,160 Take out the pin from the gris-gris. Take it out! Take it... 126 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,520 I can't breathe... 127 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,680 (gasping) 128 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:19,800 You! You did this! Did you see that? He know voodoo! 129 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,760 - Me? - First my band dying and now this. 130 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,520 Hah! You! 131 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:28,440 No, I'm sure there's been some kind of misunderstanding. 132 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,920 Horace! Horace dun this! 133 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:37,400 He hates me. This is part of his plan! 134 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,680 I cannot play in your club, 135 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:45,000 and I certainly cannot stay in this house any longer. 136 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,080 Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ! 137 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,480 No no, no, no, no. Hands. Wait! 138 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,880 Look at that. Horace is givin' me the evil eye! 139 00:07:55,840 --> 00:08:00,120 He's got bad juju, Nicholas! Deep down in his soul, I'm telling ya! 140 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,080 Please, Hands. There must be something we can do! 141 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,120 Lauren and I did a Ouija board for fun once 142 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,760 but I've never actually practiced voodoo. 143 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,880 Yeah, I know, but Hands is from Louisiana and believes all that stuff. 144 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,520 Where am I supposed to go? 145 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,000 I don't know. Just go chill out somewhere. 146 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,720 Just until the bad juju's gone. 147 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,720 - How long will that be? - Who can tell? 148 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,480 TBH, I'm not really a juju expert. 149 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,320 Anyway, I'd best go, Hands wants a foot rub. Love ya! 150 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:31,920 Are we just going to leave him outside? 151 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,160 He'll be fine. Horace is one of those black people 152 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,200 that loves sleeping outdoors. 153 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,800 - Juju? Really? - It's a thing! 154 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,080 Look, we've already sold out tonight's gig 155 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,120 where you'll get to make a shitload of money 156 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,480 and I get to perform with my all-time hero. 157 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:48,120 Win, win. Hands will be good for us. You'll see. 158 00:08:56,360 --> 00:09:00,160 (gospel singing) 159 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,360 ...in the Saviour's love. 160 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,360 Mi nah know about your god, but my god is good. 161 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:19,040 (congregation murmurs) 162 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:24,040 Mi nah know about your god, but my god is powerful! 163 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,880 Mi nah know about your god, but my god is my everything! Amen! 164 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:28,520 (congregation) Amen! 165 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:31,760 (Speaking in Tongues) 166 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,280 Now, mi know say some a unu ‘ave some pain, 167 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,320 some sorrow inna your hearts. 168 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,560 If a yu mi a chat about, step forward. 169 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,560 - Sorry. - It's all right, son. 170 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,800 Nothing to be afraid of. What de pon yer mind? 171 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,720 Well, er, nothing actually de pon my mind. 172 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,960 Just some heavy stuff with General Hands and that 173 00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,920 but you guys don't need to hear about that. 174 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,040 You see these? Look ‘pon them. 175 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,240 Dem is fi yu. Come forward and talk, my man. 176 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,840 (man) Speak, breddah, speak. 177 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,240 (woman) Come forward. Come through, come through. 178 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,840 (Horace) Well... 179 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,960 My name's Horace Cunningham... 180 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:19,560 - (man) Welcome, Horace, welcome. - I've got a case of the bad juju. 181 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:23,960 (knocking) 182 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,360 Someone's in here, man. 183 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:29,320 I can't wait any longer. My prostate's bigger than a coconut. 184 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,560 Oh, don't mind me. Go ahead. Keep doing what you doing. 185 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,520 If you don't mind me saying you got a mighty fine musculature. 186 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,120 If by ‘fine', you mean ‘cuddly', you can piss off. 187 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,480 Sure you carryin' a little bit of puppy fat here'n'there, 188 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,120 but I think it's kind of cute. 189 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,880 I am not going for cute. Man's going for buff ting. 190 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,320 You chasing a perfection that don't exist. 191 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,240 You got to learn to love yo'self, like Hands loves himself. 192 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,160 How can I love myself when I look like this? 193 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:10,160 Look at yo' young, supple, smooth, smiling body. 194 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:15,800 God himself couldn't a chiselled a finer physique. 195 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,200 Ah. Thanks, Mr Hands. 196 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,200 Oh, please. Please call me Linus. 197 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,880 - Why? - Cos that's my name, sugar brother. 198 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,480 Good evening, brother Horace. 199 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,600 Oh, bad juju! 200 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,760 I'm just going to leave because I don't want to infect your congregation. 201 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,680 Relax, now, man. You look tired and hungry. 202 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,560 Well, I'm on the streets now. 203 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,560 Lawd a Mercy. Well, you have to stay wid us. 204 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,560 London can be a wicked place fi us people. Yu wan' a likkle bulla cake? 205 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,360 Yeah, I'd love some bulla cake. 206 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,280 Yu with Jesus now. Yu baptised? 207 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,400 - No. - (congregation gasps) 208 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,200 Lawd God! Sister Mavis, tek back de bulla cake. 209 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,040 Tek it back. 210 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,920 How can you be safe from de evil of Satan and London 211 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,320 wid a uncleansed soul? 212 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:12,600 Nah worry yourself. Brothers and sisters, we have a soul to save. 213 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,720 Amen! 214 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,360 We are go go up the mountain and we are go pull the devil down. 215 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,320 (congregation) Amen! 216 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,840 We're going to stamp him out. We're going to stamp out Lucifer! 217 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:27,080 We're going to drag him down and say, Lucifer, we don't want you! 218 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,280 Stamp out Satan. Stamp out Satan. 219 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,880 Mr Hands. How you doing? 220 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:40,120 Fine, fine, fine. I wouldn't recommend heading in there just yet. 221 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:45,040 Oh no, I was thinking we should probably rehearse for the gig tonight. 222 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,840 I was thinking we could do a couple of your songs. 223 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,240 ‘Who's Dat Mama Wid Da Fat Ass', ‘Heroin Blues'. 224 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,160 I'm sorry, brother. Jason an' I, we got plans. 225 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,840 You hanging out with Jason? 226 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,080 The guy who thinks the capital of England is E? 227 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,120 Boy's got a lotta talents you folks don't know about. 228 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,000 He's hiding his light under a bushel. 229 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:12,640 I intend to shake that bushel off and feel his light all over my face. 230 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:22,680 What? 231 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,600 Where's my fucking money? 232 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,160 Nick? Jase! 233 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:34,680 Hey, Lauren. 234 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,480 What are you so happy about? 235 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,680 Ah, Nothing. Just a certain someone taught me how to love myself. 236 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:39,880 Good for you. 237 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,760 On a subject more important than your mental health, my money's gone. 238 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:45,760 Why you looking at me? 239 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,480 This is nice. Feels expensive. Is that real fur? 240 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:50,680 I dunno. Linus bought it for me. 241 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,840 Why would General Hands buy you a fur coat? 242 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,280 It's called being nice. You might want to try it sometime. 243 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,680 If I bought JJ a fur coat, I'd expect ‘something' in return. 244 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,920 You see? A man being unable to buy another man nice things 245 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,440 is everything that's wrong with modern-day masculinity. 246 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,520 Ready, Linus. 247 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,800 Okay, pretty mouth. Shine for me. 248 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:18,880 ♪ Oh, happy day 249 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:25,360 ♪ When Jesus washed my sins away 250 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,160 (woman) Psst. Psst. Horace. 251 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,360 - Jesus? - (woman) Behind you. 252 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,520 Horace, it is so good to hear your voice. 253 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,480 Janice, is that you? 254 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,080 Listen to me, Horace, I don't have much time, there are eyes everywhere. 255 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,280 You are no longer safe here. 256 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,280 Meet me outside on the corner in 10 minutes, do you understand? 257 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,640 Er, yeah, okay. 258 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,600 Brother Horace, you ready for your baptism? 259 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:00,600 I can't. 260 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:05,600 Baptism can be a likkle scary, but you must have faith. 261 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,280 Can you do a baptism in 8.5 minutes? 262 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,640 Nah, man. Yu can't rush the transformative experience 263 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:14,400 of stepping into de light of our Father, the Lawd Jesus Christ. Amen? 264 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,280 (congregation) Amen. 265 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,080 Okay. Well, quick as you can. 266 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:28,200 I know you've got my money, you creepy piece of shit. 267 00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,480 What the fuck? 268 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,400 Oh, my God! 269 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:58,320 (sniffs) 270 00:15:58,880 --> 00:15:59,800 Nick... 271 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,240 What are you doing? 272 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:03,600 Hands said he needs some clean drawers. 273 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,000 Oh, all right, well, I don't want to piss on your chips 274 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:10,600 - but General Hands is a sex pest. - What? No, no, no! 275 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,280 This is like my idol Bill Cosby all over again. 276 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,000 Suddenly several dozen women appear out of nowhere, 277 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,000 and I'm supposed to believe that they were all preyed on by one guy 278 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,000 because they all happened to have the exact same story. 279 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,560 - I will not believe it. - Look. 280 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,920 - Oh, my God. - I know. 281 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,560 Oh, my God. There's loads of them. 282 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,360 Jason's been feeling down about his weight. 283 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,360 - Hands has been taking advantage. - They must've spent hours together. 284 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:39,320 Sorry, what? 285 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,960 What are they, like best friends now or something? 286 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:45,400 Me and Hands have way more in common. Un-fucking believable! 287 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,800 (sounds of fighting) 288 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,720 Yeah, Hands got ya now, boy! 289 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,800 Fight back now. Come on, come on! 290 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,520 Horace! 291 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,320 Horace! 292 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,360 (Horace) ♪ Lord, I've been broken 293 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,160 ♪ Although I'm not worthy 294 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,080 ♪ You fixed me, now I'm blinded 295 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,600 ♪ By your grace 296 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,520 ♪ You came and saved me 297 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,000 ♪ One time for the Lord 298 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,640 ♪ And one time for the cause 299 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,960 (pastor) You are cleansed, my son. 300 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,000 Peace be with you, peace be with you. 301 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,160 Horace! You all right? 302 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,560 Lauren, I'm juju free. 303 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,640 Horace, you don't have bad juju. Hands is a bullshitter. 304 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,720 Really? 305 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,200 He's got everyone brainwashed. 306 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,720 And more importantly, that dickhead stole my money. 307 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:39,840 Maybe he borrowed your money 308 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,640 because he wanted to pay back his band mate. 309 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:42,400 What? 310 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,360 I heard him on the phone saying that he's going to pay someone back 311 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,520 - as soon as he finds a way. - That lying piece of shit. Come on. 312 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,120 Where're we going? 313 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,520 To tell everyone that Hands is a bullshitter. 314 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,880 Brother Horace, is whey yu a go? 315 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,560 I've got to go now. But thanks, Pastor Gabriel. 316 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,920 It was the best 45 minutes of my life. 317 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,400 Sister Gloria, mi a go call yu. 318 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,200 Sister Mavis, tanks fi di bulla, yeah? 319 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:07,040 Deacon Russell and Brother Tony, mi see unu later. Bless up. Bye. 320 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:07,720 Lauren? 321 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,320 Where are you, Horace? 322 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,000 Come on. Hurry up! 323 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,760 Where are you going? 324 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,880 - What are you doing? - Good Lord! 325 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:49,680 Why are you throwing them away? I made these for you! 326 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,520 - Why? - Because it's what you like. 327 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,720 Oh, baby, I think you got the wrong idea. 328 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,280 (Jason) Hey, guys, what's going on? 329 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,560 You took naked pictures of Jason. 330 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,440 What are you doing with my pictures? 331 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,600 - Now can I say something? - (Jason) Say what? 332 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,080 We know that he manipulated you into taking these pictures. 333 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,600 - No, he didn't. - You don't have to lie for this creep. 334 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,400 Linus am not no creep. 335 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:13,040 - He calls you pretty mouth. - I do have a pretty mouth. 336 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:17,600 Sorry, he lets you call him Linus. I don't even get to call him Linus. 337 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,400 Linus took these pictures because I asked him to. 338 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,040 - Why? - Because I'm beautiful. 339 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,320 And I forgot that. And if it wasn't for Linus, I may never have remembered. 340 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,440 That still doesn't explain why he took naked pictures of you. 341 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:31,040 Linus suggested we do a photo shoot to remind Victoria of my beauty. 342 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,480 Bullshit. These are all cock and balls. 343 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,440 He am not even got rid of your double chin. 344 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:40,440 Don't you listen to her, she just a mean assho. 345 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,760 Who give you the right to go through my trunk anyhow? 346 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,240 I know that you stole my money. 347 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,120 I have never been made to feel so unwanted. 348 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,360 And I've been chased by the Ku Klux Klan! 349 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,600 Hands is gone. 350 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,680 No, Hands, don't leave again. Hands! 351 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,560 Mr Hands. What about our gig? What about our blossoming friendship? 352 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,800 My money! I knew it! 353 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,240 Linus, why is your suitcase full of dirty magazines? 354 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,520 Oh, my God. You were going to sell Jason's pictures to the magazine. 355 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:22,160 What? They're jus my pictures for a lil self lovin', that's all. 356 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,040 ‘Dearest, Linus. Thank you for your selection of pictures.' 357 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:30,240 ‘They will appear in next month's issue of Scantily Clad Gents.' 358 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,360 Well, Hands, he's got to eat. 359 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,400 Wait, wait. I get why you wanted pictures of Jason, 360 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:41,000 but it still doesn't explain why you didn't want to hang out with me. 361 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,520 I find you creepy. 362 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,720 See you around, creepy. 363 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,880 Yeah, well, your third studio album was mediocre at best! 364 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,040 Weak. Insults aren't your thing, are they, bruv? 365 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,280 All right, well, time to go. Gig's cancelled. 366 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:10,400 And no refunds as we're not covered for the main act being a dirty old man. 367 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,640 Maybe I'm the one with bad juju. 368 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,120 Come on. Let's get you some meat in a tin. Come on. 369 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,280 Thanks, Horace. You're a good man. 370 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,960 I am a good man. 371 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:28,560 Janice! 372 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,840 Where is the time machine? 373 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,680 Young man, you look a likkle troubled. You wan' a likkle bulla cake? 374 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,320 Put her in the van. 30196

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.