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1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,120
(singing) Well I
tried to tell you so
2
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,680
But I guess
you didn't know
3
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,160
As a sadder story goes
4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,600
Baby now I got the flow
5
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,000
You lied to me
6
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,960
All those times I
said that I loved you
7
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,240
You lied to me
8
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:18,840
Yes I tried
9
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,440
Return of the mac, it is
10
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,960
Return of the mac, come on
11
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,480
Return of the mac, once again
12
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:31,280
Return of, here I go!
13
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:34,960
Thank you, thank you.
14
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,800
We are gonna take a quick
break and we'll be back in five.
15
00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:42,000
Oh, she's got a necklace on
her shoulder 'cause she's
not got a dress on.
16
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,120
Not that you give a shit.
17
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,400
Bunch of rude,
self-centered party girls.
18
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,560
The only thing they rate
more than themselves is money.
19
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,240
You literally just
described yourself.
20
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,560
Swivel, pretty boy.
21
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,560
Don't you just adore my
little jazzington troupe?
22
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:56,520
Do they dance?
23
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,440
The tall, pretty boy does.
Just for me.
24
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,520
Here's ten pounds. Tell the
gangly one I'll have a dance.
25
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,840
Darling, be a sweetie?
26
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,160
I beg your pardon, sir.
27
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,280
What is this, Stringfellows?
28
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,200
Dance!
29
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,440
Dance! Dance! Dance!
Dance! Dance!
30
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:21,800
Kill me.
31
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,120
Kill me now.
32
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,120
- Boo!
33
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:40,000
We are a jazz quartet in the
golden era of jazz, and
what are we doing?
34
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,800
Oh, would you like a lap dance
while I play my trumpet?
35
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,600
Mate, chill, it was just jokes.
36
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,560
Jazz is not
jokes, alright?
37
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:52,280
It's moody guys in smoky
bars, deep in pain.
38
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:56,040
Playing because they need to,
not for free rent and tiny eggs.
39
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,720
Bruv, do you know what
kind of egg this is?
40
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,840
- It's a quail egg.
- It's a quail egg.
41
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,400
- I don't even know what a
quail is.
- It's a bird.
42
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,720
- Is it a bird?
- Yes.
43
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,280
Maybe some kind of
fish, or reptile?
44
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,400
Like I said, it's a bird.
45
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:09,440
I don't know.
46
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,160
No one knows because they
don't exist in our time.
47
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:12,920
They do.
48
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,400
How can you not love living
like a prince, bruv?
49
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,560
I never thought this moment
would come, but I agree
with Nick.
50
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:19,480
Thank you!
51
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,440
There's gotta be a way we can
keep all this free shit
and servants
52
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,280
without having to play for
that gaggle of rich skanks.
53
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,160
Okay, that's really
not what I said.
54
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,040
Darlings! Ralph's sent a
letter from the Algerian desert.
55
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,560
'Dearest twin
sister.' That's me.
56
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,880
'I hate it here, I can't
escape, I wish I were dead.'
57
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,800
Oh, that's it. Hardly worth
the postage, silly sausage.
58
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,480
Ah! For the love of his
life, who broke his heart.
59
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,120
Not my fault he overheard
exactly what I thought of him.
60
00:02:54,440 --> 00:03:00,120
Do oo want to know what I think
of oo, my little slice of
pumpernickel?
61
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:04,320
I think you're a darling
little poochy-poo.
62
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,200
Clever boy!
63
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,960
No pooks, stay with your chums.
64
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,120
Mummy's busy preparing a
spandanglous Egyptian-themed
party.
65
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,440
You must come and play some of
your yumptious jazz, jazz, jazz!
66
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,000
Maybe we will, maybe we're busy.
67
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,400
Sweetpea, I absolutely
think you will play
68
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,840
or I might rather
wonder why you're here.
69
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,480
'Darling Lauren.'
70
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,400
Can we not go on this guilt
trip right now, please?
71
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,760
'I enclose a likeness to
keep by your bedside.'
72
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,600
'Life is short in the desert.'
73
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,400
'I shall probably be
trampled to death by a camel
soon,
74
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,120
so you may as well
have all my money.'
75
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,880
Shut up, what? Oh my
God, how much is that?
76
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,200
So that's-
77
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,720
Money, money,
money, money!
78
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:14,920
Argh! Langley!
79
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,200
Yes, sir.
80
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,560
You okay?
81
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:19,680
Sir.
82
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,400
Great.
83
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:23,680
Great, great, great.
84
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:37,840
I can take it from here.
85
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,800
You're still there, aren't you?
86
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,800
- I thought sir might enjoy a
glass of milk after his morning
evacuation.
87
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,440
Right, it's just that I
find it a bit difficult to-,
88
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,840
to drop the kids off while
someone's listening.
89
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,920
Not to worry, sir, I've
heard it all before.
90
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,840
(humming)
91
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,880
(singing) Return
of the mac
92
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,640
Girl, you lied to me
93
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,960
Didn't know
you read music.
94
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,880
I'm terribly sorry, sir,
I was dusting. I wasn't-,
95
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,960
Oh, no, no, it's fine.
96
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,800
Great voice, by the way. I
know one when I hear it.
97
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,320
I'm a musician.
98
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,960
I know, sir.
99
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,840
So, like, what's your bag?
100
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,760
Jazz? Classical? Drum and bass?
101
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,000
That joke was more
for me than you.
102
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,160
Opera, sir.
103
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:39,880
Opera!
104
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,640
My mother loved to sing.
105
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,440
She sent me for lessons, dared
to dream I might be a singer
one day.
106
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,640
What are we
without dreams?
107
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,720
- Erm-,
- We're drones, Langley.
108
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,480
'Every day you wait is another
day you won't get back.'
109
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,040
Do you know who said that?
110
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:57,880
Sir?
111
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,880
Gandhi, I think.
112
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,000
I don't know, I
read it on a meme.
113
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,080
My point is that you and
I are not so different.
114
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,720
Two men, one dream.
115
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,240
You know what?
116
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,120
I'm gonna have a
word with Victoria.
117
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,320
Just explain that you've got
this talent and you just need
an opportunity to shine.
118
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,280
No, thank you, sir.
119
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,280
No, no, I will.
I'll talk to her.
120
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,040
- If it's all the same, I'd
rather-,
- Langley, I insist.
121
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,480
It's the least I can do.
122
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,680
No!
123
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,280
I said no, sir.
124
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,280
Wow, Lauren, you look strong.
125
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,240
Thanks.
126
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,280
I am loving how much
you're hating this.
127
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,520
Oh yeah, that's it.
128
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,880
Pick on me, and overlook the
grown man dressed in a leather
nappy.
129
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,960
I've been telling the girls how
teeth-shatteringly strong
you are.
130
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,760
I'm no stranger to
a Virgin Active.
131
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,840
I told you, he's all muscle.
Everywhere!
132
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,160
You must pass him on
when you're finished.
133
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,400
Alright?
134
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:25,480
What?
135
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,640
No, nothing.
136
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,400
If you're happy being
her performing poodle.
137
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:41,680
Look at them.
138
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,840
They're laughing at us.
You know that, right?
139
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,760
No, no, they're laughing because
every time Langley turns away,
140
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,040
they throw a grape at him
and then he looks back,
141
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,640
pretending he didn't
know who did it.
142
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,240
It's actually quite funny.
143
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,840
They're bitches, Horace.
144
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,240
That's what comes of
being born into money.
145
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,880
They look down on people
like us because we use buses
146
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,800
and think that Wall's Viennetta
is a luxury dessert.
147
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,120
It is a luxury dessert.
148
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:07,440
I know, right?
149
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:11,240
Hold that.
150
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,280
You alright?
151
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,600
Oh, Laurentia!
152
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,800
Woof woof! Ow ow owww!
153
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:19,960
(laughter)
154
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:22,560
Yeah, laugh it up.
155
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,240
We'll see who's laughing
when the Blitz happens and your
houses are bombed to shit.
156
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,400
Oh, isn't she too much?
157
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,280
Oh dearheart, I would invite you
to join but we're playing
Monte Carlo stakes.
158
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,040
50 guinea minimum, no cheques,
chits, kidneys or IOUs.
159
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,560
Well, that's me out, then.
160
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,200
I guess I'll just shuffle back
to my slum and eat a potato.
161
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,920
Oh, wait, wait!
162
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:47,840
Who're these guys?
163
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:49,320
Hello!
164
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,800
Why didn't you say
you were rich?
165
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,040
We could have been
friends this whole time!
166
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,120
Hooray!
167
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,200
Place your bets, ladies.
168
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,320
Faites vos jeux.
169
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,040
- Ready!
170
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,720
Rien ne va plus,
no further bets.
171
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,040
Black ten.
172
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,120
You're shitting me!
173
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,320
Oh my God!
174
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:10,600
Oh my God!
175
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,000
High five, bitches!
176
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,320
Just put your hand up.
177
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,240
High five!
178
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,800
Let's be best of
friends forever!
179
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,000
Yeah, yeah!
180
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,320
What we doing
here, Horace?
181
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,880
I mean, is this it?
182
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,240
Oh, you horror! You
spewed on my shoe!
183
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,160
Langers, get it off.
184
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:40,840
I can feel it seeping in.
185
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,640
Hurry, you clumsy booby.
186
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:43,880
Oh, for goodness' sake.
187
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,320
Oi! Do you wanna
have some respect?
188
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:47,840
Is it talking to me?
189
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,960
Do you think this guy's got
nothing better going on
190
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,680
than cleaning up after
a bunch of inbreds?
191
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,280
Well, no.
192
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,120
Right. Well, FYI, Langley
could have been a singer.
193
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,480
Who's a singer?
194
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:58,640
Ol' Lang Lang.
195
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,480
Silly, darling. He's my butler.
196
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,240
What if he's not just a butler?
197
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,640
What if he's got dreams?
198
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,880
And in those dreams he's
singing opera, like a phantom?
199
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,680
But how wonderful!
200
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,600
Langley, sing for us!
201
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,120
Shut the music off,
Langley's going to sing.
202
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,800
M'lady, I couldn't possibly.
203
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,840
Sing this minute or I
shall have you mummified!
204
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,720
- I-,
- Don't be afraid,
Langley, you got this.
205
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,600
Show these people that you're
more than just a skivvy.
206
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,680
Yes, Langley, sing!
207
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:29,480
Sing! Sing!
208
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,640
Sing! Sing! Sing!
209
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,320
- Please, m'lady, I-
- Sing! Sing! Sing!
210
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:46,120
(singing) Ave Maria
211
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:55,960
Maria Gratia plena
212
00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:05,280
Maria Gratia plena
213
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:11,200
Ave dominus
214
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:17,680
Dominus tecum
215
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,720
(applause)
216
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,280
Langley, I had no idea.
217
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,560
Twas but a dream, m'lady.
218
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,520
Well, then we shall
make it a reality!
219
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,440
You are herewith relieved
of your duties forthwith.
220
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,760
M'lady, please, I-,
221
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,560
Hands up who thinks Langley
should become a famous singer?
222
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,600
Good luck, dear, dear Langley.
223
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,560
I hear it's almost impossible
to succeed in music.
224
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:48,560
Speaking of which,
225
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,560
play for us!
226
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,600
I'm not your poodle.
227
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,480
- Ohhh!
228
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,160
God, he's so brave.
229
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,240
Imagine giving up everything
to fulfill your dreams.
230
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,280
Especially with seven
kids to support.
231
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,200
That man's a hero.
232
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:20,320
Hey, Jase.
233
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,080
Good to see you
wearing some clothes.
234
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,280
Do you mind? I'm
trying to read this-,
235
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:24,960
Book?
236
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,400
Yeah, I know.
237
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,120
Are those my
spare glasses?
238
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,040
No.
239
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:35,760
Yes, I'm trying to look
less attractive so Victoria
doesn't just want me for my
body.
240
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,200
Ah, good for you, mate.
241
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,080
She'll definitely treat you with
more respect when she sees this.
242
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,400
It's only, erm-,
243
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,280
- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.
244
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,680
- Thanks, bruv.
- Hey, no worries.
245
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,840
When you're done with those, can
you pop the lenses back in,
yeah?
246
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,080
Cheers.
247
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,760
Bored!
248
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,000
Who wants to go to
Harrods and buy a lion?
249
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,720
Me, me, me!
250
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,040
Oh, hey Nickers.
251
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,840
Want anything picking
up from Harrods?
252
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,720
No, I'm good, thanks.
253
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,120
But see if you can pick
up some self-respect.
254
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:15,640
What?
255
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,880
I see you're one of
the rich bitches now.
256
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,760
I'd rather you not
call them that.
257
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,640
They're actually so
darling once you get to know
them.
258
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,280
Damn.
259
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:31,840
Argh!
260
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:32,920
Horace.
261
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,200
Wait, how did you-,
262
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:37,920
Are you okay?
263
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,000
Yes, sir.
264
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:40,560
Cool.
265
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,560
Wait, why are you
calling me sir?
266
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:43,440
Sir?
267
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:46,320
Okay.
268
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,640
I need some quiet toilet
time, but when I'm done,
269
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,600
we all need to sit down and take
a good look at ourselves,
especially you.
270
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,600
Because, I mean,
this is all wrong.
271
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000
Very good, sir.
272
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,880
Oh, erm, do you know
where I can find-,
273
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,280
Thank you.
274
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:19,160
(groaning)
275
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,480
Good morning, 'sir'.
276
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:32,680
Hey!
277
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,760
Langley, it's you!
278
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,400
I thought it was pigeons.
279
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,120
So, all set? Ready
to seize the day?
280
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,040
They're my children. Their
mother died last year.
281
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:47,840
Course.
282
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:53,880
Well, maybe you can use the
grief to channel into your
music.
283
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,760
Ah, is that my phone?
I'm gonna-,
284
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,080
Goodbye, empty pointless life.
285
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,800
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What you doing?
286
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,160
I've lost everything.
287
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,640
Not everything!
288
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,400
Alright, you've still
got your kids!
289
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,120
They can chip in, sweep
some chimneys and that.
290
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,120
I mean, not the ones
in wheelchairs.
291
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,240
They're all in
wheelchairs.
292
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,640
You've ruined my life!
293
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,520
Er, sorry, can you not shout
at me? I'm the one supporting
your dreams.
294
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,560
(yelling)
295
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,120
Shit! Okay, if you love
being a skivvy so much,
296
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,600
maybe we can ask Victoria
for your job back.
297
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:31,400
Really?
298
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,680
Well, apparently it's
all my fault, so yes.
299
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,120
Maybe put some pants
on first, yeah?
300
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,640
Aren't they just too much?
301
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,480
That's real pearls and
real ermine trim.
302
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,880
Unbearable! Were they
pocket-wrenchingly expensive?
303
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,120
Darling, friendship
is priceless.
304
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,600
What are 'rich birches'?
305
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:56,800
Bitches.
306
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:58,840
Wait, what?
307
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,440
That's supposed to be a T, man.
They've spelt bitches wrong!
308
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,560
Burn 'em, Cunningham.
309
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,000
Miss?
310
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,600
I'll send to Japan for more.
311
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,880
Oh, you are awful!
312
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,720
Didn't I tell you she's awful?
313
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,560
Awful! I can hardly bear her.
314
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,240
Here it is. Finally come
to give me my dance?
315
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,200
I've come about Langley.
316
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,040
Who?
317
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,680
Oh, him. Is he a star yet?
318
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:26,880
Since yesterday?
319
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,240
No, no, he's not.
320
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,720
So I was wondering if you
could give him his job back?
321
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:32,920
I don't need a butler,
322
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,400
and if I did need a butler,
I'd hardly want one that
widdles on the floor.
323
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,920
Lang Lang dear, try not
to hit the Persian.
324
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,440
- Cunningham?
- On it, m'lady.
325
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,160
Sir.
326
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,000
Sir?
327
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,480
Sir.
328
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,440
Sir.
329
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:01,560
We tried.
330
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,280
Now, I don't want
to point fingers,
331
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,800
but I think we may have lost her
when one of us started pissing
on the carpet.
332
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,640
This is my job.
333
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,400
Listen, Langley.
334
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,760
It's not gonna be
easy out there.
335
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,760
And I know it feels like I don't
know you because I don't know
your first name.
336
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,120
- Albert.
- Hi, Nick.
337
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,840
But what I do know is that
you're an incredible musician,
just like me.
338
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:26,000
And when people knock us down
we get back up, because there's
a flame that burns within us
339
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,800
and the hungrier we are, the
brighter it burns, and-,
340
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,880
You're still pissing a
little bit, aren't you?
341
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,040
Come with me!
342
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,600
Let's burn to the top together!
343
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:36,600
Go with him, Nick.
344
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,800
It's different, though, isn't
it, because I've got my band
to think about.
345
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:43,000
But best of luck to you, yeah?
346
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,280
I believe in you.
347
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:50,880
There you go.
348
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,400
Aw.
349
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,960
Langley'll be alright, right?
350
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:57,840
No, you fucked him.
351
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:08,760
Good evening.
352
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,800
Baby bear, what are you wearing?
353
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,320
Take it all off at once.
354
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,280
Off, off, off, off!
355
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,120
No.
356
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,280
Oooh!
357
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,280
Isn't he just too much?
358
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:24,000
Now, I've been telling Ernestine
what a tongue-tinglingly good
kisser you are.
359
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,720
Okay, that's just it, because
I know how to do other things,
not just with my body.
360
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,480
Like what?
361
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,280
Like count backwards
from twenty.
362
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:33,400
Go on then.
363
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,600
Twenty.
364
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,200
- Yeah?
- Don't rush me.
365
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,640
Darling, Ernestine
has her mouth open.
366
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,000
Why don't you just show her
what a good kisser you are?
367
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,040
- Nineteen.
- Jason, stop, this is painful.
368
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,640
Look, I'm not your
exotic parrot!
369
00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,560
I'm a full man, I've got
bare stuff going on.
370
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,000
You just wanna show me off
because I'm black and sexy
as fuck.
371
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,560
Oh no, my poppeteen.
372
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,640
I treat all my boys
like this, don't I?
373
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,640
She does.
374
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,440
Though you are by far the
most delicious of her lapdogs.
375
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,760
What, you're saying you make all
your men dress up as slaves?
376
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:09,480
Darlington, I would far prefer
that you treat me like your
naughty, naughty slave
377
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,400
but I didn't think that
was your sort of thing.
378
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,480
That could be my sort of thing.
379
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,200
Do you want it to be
my sort of thing?
380
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,440
Excuse us, ladies.
381
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,680
The safe word is 'jambalaya'.
382
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,920
- Eighteen.
- Very good!
383
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,960
Now, who wants a seriously
high-stakes game of snap?
384
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:30,960
Me!
385
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,800
Count me in, only I'm clean out
of cash so I'll have to owe you.
386
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:34,680
Oh!
387
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,640
Really, darling?
Not a sou?
388
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:37,320
No.
389
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,200
Oh.
390
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,640
What? Is that it?
391
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,600
- I thought we were friends.
- Monte Carlo stakes, miss.
392
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,120
Rich bitch motherfu-
393
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,920
(singing) Let me tell you about
my brown-eyed girl
394
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,120
Let me tell you 'bout
my brown-eyed girl
395
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,800
So she's about yay high
396
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,280
With African curls
397
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,480
Let me tell you 'bout
my brown-eyed girl.
398
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:02,280
Tell 'em, boys
399
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,720
Well if I ever knew
about my girl-,
400
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:06,880
Cunningham!
401
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,720
You're singing!
402
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,920
Twas but a dream, m'lady.
403
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,160
Well, I am as cursed as a mummy.
404
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,960
Why oh why must all my
butlers be so fabulously
talented?
405
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,280
No more butlers for me.
406
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,080
(plate smashes)
407
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,960
You're fired.
408
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:28,960
(doorbell rings)
409
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,560
Hey, hey, no.
410
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:31,960
She's right.
411
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,680
You're better than this.
412
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,600
Someone else will get the door.
413
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:39,520
Really?
414
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,160
Hey!
415
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,000
Langley, right?
416
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,760
Mr Wolton, sir.
417
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,400
I shan't be long,
my car's waiting.
418
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,120
But I just had to come
by to say thank you.
419
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:53,720
For what?
420
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,280
For teaching me to
reach for the stars.
421
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,440
You were right.
422
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:02,000
You have to hit rock
bottom before you can soar to
the dizzying heights of fame.
423
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,280
'Course, three of my children
did starve to death,
424
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,800
but I'm a singer now,
people love my voice!
425
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:09,440
Great.
426
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Guys, Langley's a star.
427
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,000
Hey Lang Lang, congrats.
428
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,400
To think I might have wasted
my talent in this house,
429
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:21,240
the flame dying a little
inside every day.
430
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,560
Yeah, to think.
431
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,080
So what is it, like, pub gigs?
432
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,160
Passing around a
pint pot for tips?
433
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,400
Ha ha! Funny.
434
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:37,880
No, I'm headlining the concert
halls of Europe, the Colonies
and North America.
435
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,400
(car horn sounds)
436
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,400
Oh, must dash.
437
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,840
When I come back, I should love
you all to come and see one of
my shows.
438
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,680
You are my inspiration,
after all.
439
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,800
Goodbye and thanks again, Nick!
440
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:54,680
Sure.
441
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:58,720
Seventeen.
31071
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