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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,720
So this is the time machine.
2
00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:02,520
This is Curtis.
3
00:00:02,760 --> 00:00:04,560
I'm guessing Jason slept
with your girlfriend?
4
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,360
(screaming)
5
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,840
People like us never
get to time travel.
6
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:15,040
Hello 1920s London!
7
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,000
(lift bell rings)
8
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,320
Hey, Homeless Pete!
Hold the doors!
9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,920
What? No, no, no, no, no!
10
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:31,560
What the-,
11
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:33,560
Gah!
12
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:38,800
- Nick!
13
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:40,720
- Nick!
14
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:41,600
Ah!
15
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:42,800
Hello!
16
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:44,120
Hello!
17
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:45,720
(screaming)
18
00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:47,840
It was horrible.
19
00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,040
I was trapped in the 1920s and
it was all white people and I
couldn't get home-,
20
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,920
Okay, I'm awake.
21
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:54,920
Oh.
22
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,320
It felt so real.
23
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,640
Erm, probably cos it is.
24
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,960
It's like we woke up in a black
and white film, but in colour,
and not a film.
25
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:09,880
Oh right!
26
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:15,640
But the bit about the time
machine being out of service and
us being stuck here,
27
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,520
that was part of the
dream though, right?
28
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,080
Right guys?
29
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,880
What the fuu-!
30
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,080
How long were you planning
on stopping, dear?
31
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,160
Til I find Jason, innit.
32
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:48,880
And this Mr Innit, he's the cove
what's been making eyes at your
sweetheart?
33
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,040
Fiancée.
34
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,880
And it's more than eyes.
Man's been piecing her.
35
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,320
What a pickle.
36
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,800
I s'pose you'll wanna get
on and find the blighter?
37
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,280
Man's about to start a mad ting.
38
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,880
Tongue and jelly sandwich before
you start your mad ting?
39
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,040
Safe, run dat.
40
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,360
Afternoon to ya, Mrs Fanbrick.
41
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,000
Here you are little man.
42
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,360
- Thanks, Mr Cunningham!
- No worries, you little scamp.
43
00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,920
Mr McCutcheon, new shoes? Nice!
44
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,880
- Get out of here, you
stinking foreigner!
45
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,560
Oh, your aim's a little
off today, Mr Hornsby.
46
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,320
Oh, and how are you on this
fine day, Mrs Cuttling?
47
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,920
Keep England English!
48
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,720
Ooh, spit polish. Nice!
49
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,880
Same time tomorrow, eh?
50
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,080
(singing) L is for lovely,
my lady love, you,
51
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:57,040
A is for always, my
love to be true.
52
00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:00,480
Ralph, mate, shut
the fuck up, yeah?
53
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,320
Good afternoon all.
54
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,800
Hey Horace. You good?
55
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,200
So good! You?
56
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,480
Horace, mate, I'm the best.
Look at this place!
57
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,920
We are The
Lords of London!
58
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,280
I'm not even hot!
It's just cos I can!
59
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,160
Oh, I do think we should offer
Ralph and Victoria some money
though,
60
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,040
chip in with the rent and that?
61
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,800
Nah, we'll just get them some
Celebrations when we leave.
62
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,760
Ohh, tiny Bounty.
63
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:29,000
Plus, some of us are paying
enough of a price already for
living here.
64
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,000
How can a woman be so divine?
65
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,840
Lauren, Lauren, Lauren,
Lauren, Lauren.
66
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,880
(beeping)
67
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,240
I'm a cash machine.
- Ah!
68
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,720
Read it and weep,
ten English pounds.
69
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,080
Stacks more where
that came from.
70
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,520
Five English pounds.
71
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:49,200
What?
72
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,480
That's a fiver.
73
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,880
But it's twice the
size of one of ours.
74
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,240
Yeah, cos that's
how money works.
75
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,680
No biggie, but you should learn
to read some time. It can come
in handy.
76
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,280
I don't need to read.
I'm beautiful.
77
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:06,320
Yes, you are. Eye-blindingly,
leg-wobblingly,
tongue-fizzingly-,
78
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,320
Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!
79
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,160
Please don't tell me that's
how you earned this.
80
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,520
So this guy comes up to me,
takes one look at this,
81
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,880
and makes me the star of a
new campaign for a huge brand.
82
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,000
It's a household name.
Now I've said too much.
83
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,840
I've never met a model before.
You seem so down to earth, it's
very nice.
84
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,560
Grab your coats, dinner
at the Ritz on me!
85
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,080
Will £5 buy us all dinner?
86
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,720
No! I'll pay.
87
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,720
Sweet.
88
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,000
Stay.
89
00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,320
Hey you.
90
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,920
So if Brian Cox is
correct, then x equals-,
91
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,200
You alright, buddy?
92
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:05,720
Good.
93
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,200
Good, just doing
some calculations.
94
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,320
Great, great.
95
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,000
So three plus five is eight-,
96
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,880
We're off to the Ritz,
if you fancy it?
97
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:19,120
No, I've almost
cracked it.
98
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,280
Right, okay.
99
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,080
Well, we're just
gonna get our coats.
100
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,720
Okay, so obviously E
equals MC squared.
101
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,880
He's alright, right?
102
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,160
And if two become
one then surely-,
103
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:33,680
Shit!
104
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,880
Fuck the laws of physics!
105
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:40,480
Is there anything more
fun-crushing than the sound of a
grown man crying?
106
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:41,680
(smashing)
107
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,640
Ralph darling, what was the
name of the doctor mummy used
108
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:48,840
when she went all wobbly after
papa died in bed on a Chinese
acrobat?
109
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,120
Doctor Braithwaite.
110
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,840
Mummy couldn't stop smiling
after she saw him.
111
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,720
You know how skeletons
look like they're smiling?
112
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,760
[NICK] Einstein,
you prick!
113
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:02,560
So, Mr Wolton, what seems
to be the problem?
114
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,720
Listen pal, my friends
made me come, but to be honest
115
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,320
some 1920s shrink isn't gonna
help me with my problem.
116
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,960
So just skip to the end and tell
me I wanna have sex with my mum,
kill my dad.
117
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,320
I'll break down and reach
closure, you get paid way too
much.
118
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,000
You're familiar
with psychotherapy?
119
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,320
Freud, Jung, Klein, Loose Women.
120
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,720
Look, unless you're gonna pull a
time machine out of your arse, I
think I'm gonna go.
121
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:26,920
No please, I do apologise.
122
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:33,560
It's exceedingly rare to come
across a gentleman of your hue
with such intellectual capacity.
123
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,520
Little bit racist.
124
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:39,520
But I am curious to see where
this compliment is heading,
please go on.
125
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:40,520
May I?
126
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:44,960
Yes, physically you
seem athletic.
127
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,080
Thank you.
128
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,000
If you don't mind?
129
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,320
Sorry, what has this got to do
with my apparent depression?
130
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,160
Depression? No,
merely malingering.
131
00:06:55,480 --> 00:07:00,040
It's a common trait amongst the
extremely gifted who do not make
use of their gifts.
132
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:00,920
Please.
133
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,680
Gifted, me? No.
134
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,880
No, yeah-, yeah, I guess
I am a bit of a genius.
135
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,240
Here's what I propose.
136
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,520
A spell at my Wellness
Institute in the Surrey Hills.
137
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:16,160
Fresh air, spa therapy and
spiritual nourishment.
138
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,920
I don't know, it sounds a
bit 'Jesus and friends'.
139
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,760
Please, Mr Wolton, I insist.
140
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,560
I can make you feel
extraordinary.
141
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,960
Extraordinary?
142
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,480
Wait here, dear.
143
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,840
I need to give Mrs
O'Leary her sponge bath.
144
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:39,760
Safe.
145
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:45,880
Gimme that, bro.
146
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,280
I forgot the soap!
147
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:56,920
All them bright young
people drinking champernane and
chompin' chockockerlates.
148
00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,520
Now that's a mad ting
if ever I saw one.
149
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,880
Oh yeah, feel that energy.
150
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,480
Right, yeah, that's you.
The camera is yours.
151
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,600
Oh yeah, nice. Oh,
that's naughty.
152
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,240
Now look here, Lauren.
153
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,040
I have something
that I want to say.
154
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,680
Well, more of a question to ask.
155
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,080
Hey, Ralph!
156
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,280
Mate, listen, I said I'd
hang out with Horace today
157
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,560
and he was like, 'Sure, as
long as Ralph's not there.'
158
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,800
You know what Horace can
be like, so cruel sometimes.
159
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,080
Okay, bye, bye, bye!
160
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,120
(whispering) I love you.
161
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,880
Yeah, nice.
162
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,640
Okay, gimme a little less 'lost'
and a little bit more 'found'.
163
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:54,920
Boom.
164
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,680
Horace, have you ever had
someone too into you?
165
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,240
Like they're one step away from
wearing your skin as a coat?
166
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,000
You're talking about
Ralph, innit?
167
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,080
I woke up last night and
he was this close to my face
168
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,480
holding up a jar, saying he
wanted to capture my breaths.
169
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:11,480
Aw, that's so romantic.
170
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,920
Right, Jase, let's
call it a day, yeah?
171
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,880
I've got to motor off down to
Surrey and drop off all of
Nick's stuff.
172
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,120
All of Nick's stuff?
173
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,280
Oh, can I come?
174
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,840
Yeah, we can get some shots
of me out and about.
175
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,360
Me straddling a wild horse,
bare-chested, riding through a
meadow.
176
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,520
Yeah, I don't really wanna
see Jason dry-humping a pony,
177
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,040
but maybe I should come,
check in on my brother.
178
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,720
Mm-hmm, get away from Ralph?
179
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,200
I'm gonna have to
have words, aren't I?
180
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:35,480
Yeah, what sort of words?
181
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,080
Get, fucked, creepy,
stalker, freak.
182
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,880
You didn't hear any of
those words, did you?
183
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:45,320
No.
184
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,680
Ah good! Alright, see ya later.
185
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,520
What are you
smiling about?
186
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,520
Road trip!
187
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,160
(yelling)
188
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,080
It's been weird not having
Nick around for a whole week.
189
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,160
Yeah, I'd almost forgotten
what fun felt like.
190
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:11,920
What the f-!
191
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,280
Hey guys!
192
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,320
How you doing, Mr Miyagi?
193
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,000
Oh what, this? Yeah, we
all have to wear one.
194
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,720
God, it is so great
to see you guys.
195
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,920
Horace, my rock.
196
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,960
Lauren, you
beautiful soul.
197
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,080
Jason, so handsome.
198
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,200
You look well.
199
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,080
We feel great.
200
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:37,880
We?
201
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,720
Did you bring all my belongings?
Great.
202
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:41,720
Bye guys.
203
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:42,640
Wait, hang on!
204
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,760
We're not gonna hang out?
You're not gonna show us around?
205
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,240
Er, no.
206
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,480
Well, I need to
take a piss, so-,
207
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,760
What, are you gonna
deny me a piss?
208
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:55,720
No.
209
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,320
Yes, no, of course.
210
00:10:58,720 --> 00:10:59,920
Don't talk to anybody.
211
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:00,880
Please, come.
212
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,560
What a great space.
213
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,560
We are very happy here.
214
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:13,720
Who is this bellend?
215
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,320
He thinks he's Jesus.
216
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:21,200
Not Jesus, but he
is quite special.
217
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,560
Bruv, there's a lot
of fit people here.
218
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,840
We do follow a rigorous
exercise regimen.
219
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:33,040
Nah, I meant hot, peng,
buff, choong, boom ting.
220
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:35,560
Sexy.
221
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,320
Oh, yes. Well, I guess we are.
222
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,160
Yo, babylove!
223
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,240
Let's get you that
piss, shall we?
224
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,640
Don't be long, I'll wait
right outside the door.
225
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,760
Oh, quick one
for the gram.
226
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:50,880
Yo!
227
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,160
Well, well, well.
228
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,120
Who do we have here?
229
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,160
Horace.
230
00:11:58,800 --> 00:11:59,240
Alright?
231
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,120
Goodbye, my love.
232
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,800
I will carry an image of
your face in my heart forever.
233
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,640
Plus I have some pictures I took
of you when you weren't looking.
234
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,720
Oh, Lauren.
235
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,320
All the best, Ralph.
236
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:21,880
Aah!
237
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,640
Eh, what's good fam?
238
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,320
Where can I find this dickhead?
239
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,280
You have a very robust cranium.
240
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,040
Yeah, my nan used to say that.
241
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,760
It's a passion of mine,
racial stereotyping.
242
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,200
Oh, we've got that where I'm
from too, but it's kinda frowned
upon.
243
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,080
People are so narrow-minded.
244
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:51,480
Sadly your skull is misshapen,
else I'd invite you to join our
breeding programme.
245
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,280
Your inner warmth is a
precious human quality.
246
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:56,320
Thanks.
247
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,520
You seem... nice too.
248
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,760
I did experiment with extracting
the actual tissue that
determines character.
249
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:08,800
Over 40 kilos of monkey brain
later, alas, no breakthrough.
250
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,880
Do you like them?
You must have one.
251
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:14,880
I have no further need for them.
252
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,960
We shall be supping on
many a monkey in Paraguay.
253
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,360
Erm-,
254
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,240
It's snack
time, excuse us.
255
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,640
Can you make sure
Horace leaves with you?
256
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,800
Oh!
257
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,080
Okay, never do that again.
258
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,920
We're off in a couple of
hours so good life to you, sis.
259
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,920
And if you're ever in
Paraguay, do come and visit.
260
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,920
Then again, I doubt you'll be
allowed into the colony, so-,
261
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:44,960
What are you on about, Paraguay?
262
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,280
Oh, I thought I'd mentioned it.
263
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,720
I signed up for Dr Braithwaite's
eugenics breeding programme.
264
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:51,640
What?
265
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:56,720
Eugene has selected me to join a
group of physically and
intellectually perfect human
beings
266
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:01,040
who will cross-reproduce to
create a new race of
superhumans.
267
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:02,960
Are you sure I
didn't mention it?
268
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,880
No, you didn't
fucking mention it.
269
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,240
Ah, well, goodbye.
270
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,040
Tell our mother she is loved.
271
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,480
What a lot of people don't
understand is there's a lot more
to modelling
272
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,760
than just standing
around looking good.
273
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,920
Sometimes you gotta sit down
looking good, walk in a straight
line looking good.
274
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,160
Excuse us.
275
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,240
- Did I tell you I'm a model?
- Yes.
276
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:23,240
Wait.
277
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:25,480
What just happened?
278
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,520
Nick thinks he's got a one-way
ticket to a Latin fuck farm.
279
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:28,920
What?
280
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,600
He's gotta go shag a load of
genetically-perfect women in
Paraguay.
281
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,800
What, Nick? Are you serious?
282
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,960
Yeah. You gonna help me get
him out of here or what?
283
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,320
Yeah, okay, okay.
284
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,280
You wait here, I'm gonna have
a word with that doctor guy.
285
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,280
Namaste.
286
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,240
(knocking)
287
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,600
Hi. Jason.
288
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:51,320
Model.
289
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:52,560
Erm-,
290
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,920
You don't have to say anything,
I know what you're thinking.
291
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,560
'I've gotta take that
guy to Paraguay!'
292
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:58,560
I see.
293
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,000
No, I have no further need
for Afrotic males, thank you.
294
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,280
We have Nicholas, African
physique with Eurasian level of
intelligence.
295
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,240
Yeah, but did I
mention I'm a model?
296
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,520
If you need a breeder-,
297
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,800
If you'll excuse me, I
do have work to do.
298
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,880
Okay, you just need to see this.
299
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,920
No, no, no, that
won't be necessary!
300
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:17,720
Here it is.
301
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,720
Tell me this ain't the
body of a superman!
302
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,680
No, please, just cover yourself.
303
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,160
Come on man, look at it!
304
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,880
Look at it, bruv!
305
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,640
Look at it.
306
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,880
Yes, that is really
very impressive.
307
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,160
Perhaps for a future programme,
I might consider it.
308
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,240
Just write your name here.
309
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,520
Do you need my
last name as well?
310
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:52,880
I'll be in touch.
311
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,960
Come on, Jason.
Where are you, man?
312
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,840
(music plays)
313
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,720
Hey, Hey Nick?
314
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,760
Nick, hello? What you doing?
315
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,640
Where you going? You wankers!
316
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,680
Nick!
317
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,280
There's a fire!
318
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,120
There's a rape!
319
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,000
There's a fire rape!
320
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,640
Nick!
321
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,160
Who is special?
322
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,640
You are special.
323
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:32,920
You are special!
324
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,640
We are special.
325
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:35,920
You are chosen.
326
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,840
You came to me, spat out by
life, the phlegm of society.
327
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,880
But I saw you for what you are.
328
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,320
Hildegard, step out.
329
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,560
You are special. I
believe in you.
330
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,000
[LAUREN] First Hannah
Montana and now this.
331
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:53,520
You are special.
332
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,560
We are special.
333
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,520
Nick! Look at me!
334
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,640
You don't belong here.
335
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:07,920
You belong in 2017, in mum and
dad's small semi in South London
336
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,800
where you share a room
with me, your sister.
337
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,280
I love you and I would be the
first to tell you if you were
special or super, but you're
not.
338
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:20,240
You're Nicholas Eloise Woton,
who got a D in maths and an E
when you resat it.
339
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,320
You're nothing special,
but listen, that's fine.
340
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:30,480
Look at me. It is okay that
you are nothing special.
341
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:35,200
Yeah.
342
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,720
Yeah, you're right,
what am I doing here?
343
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,360
Good, now let's get out of here!
344
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,720
Paraguay, seriously? Do you know
how big the spiders are over
there?
345
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:49,640
Which way?
346
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:53,800
Er, that way to the seminal
fluid pumping parlour, so that
means-,
347
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,000
Come on!
348
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,880
Gonna give me a hand or what?
349
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:04,560
Nick!
350
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,240
Don't be stupid.
351
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:12,040
You set that off, you'll never
see mum or dad or Horace or
Jason or me again.
352
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,280
Idiot. I shouldn't've said me.
353
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,720
Thing is, I've never
been so happy.
354
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:23,560
And Eugene is like a father to
me. A brilliant, white father
and-,
355
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,160
[EUGENE] Lock up the women
and post a man on each exit.
356
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,720
Man, this guy's weird.
357
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:28,840
It's okay, Lauren.
358
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:29,880
Steady, men.
359
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,320
I am ready.
360
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,640
I am going to fertilise
a bevy of sexy women
361
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,920
and from my loins will
spring a better humanity.
362
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,640
Let your brother go.
363
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,720
Over my dead body!
364
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,200
If you so insist,
you subhuman fool!
365
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:49,160
Remove her!
366
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,960
(yelling)
367
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:56,240
[GUARD] Ow!
368
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:57,840
Hey guys!
369
00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,240
Horace!
370
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:03,160
Eugene!
371
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,320
Wow, Nick's really bought
into Dr. B's breeding plan.
372
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,160
Eugene! Eugene!
373
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:10,840
Listen to me, Nicholas.
374
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:16,480
Never forget. You
are extraordinary.
375
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,240
Eugene! Eugene!
376
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,040
Papa!
377
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,240
Papa!
378
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,040
Farewell, my African son.
379
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,320
No, this was my destiny!
380
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,480
I must spread my seed!
381
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,360
I just wanted to be special.
382
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,240
Me too, bruv, me too.
383
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,120
Oi, you man.
384
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,720
I'm looking for someone.
385
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:55,880
Indeed?
386
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,640
Well, I was looking for you!
387
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,160
Tall, athletic.
388
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,560
And I see you're a reading man.
389
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,160
Perfect.
390
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,760
(playing trumpet)
391
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,720
Good morning, my
favourite house guests.
392
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,480
Are you being
looked after?
393
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,240
Yes, it's a lovely spread.
394
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,760
Are you being
looked after?
395
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:30,920
Oh!
396
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,280
(laughter) Yes, naughty!
397
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,160
Darling, who did you say
you were modelling for?
398
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,800
Erm, Bovril.
399
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,360
I thought it was you!
400
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,320
Oh, isn't that charming?
401
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,720
I mean, it's a shame they made
you wear those silly gloves,
402
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,480
but I'd recognise those
fingers anywhere.
403
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,640
Wow, Jase, are those
really your hands?
404
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,160
Can I get your autograph?
405
00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,880
The way you hold the jar,
telling a story just with your
hands.
406
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,480
I knew you were good, but I
didn't know you were this good.
407
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:08,640
Oh, by the way, has anybody
said anything to upset Ralph?
408
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:13,040
Only he's run off to Algeria to
join the French Foreign Legion.
409
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,880
I shall miss him dreadfully.
410
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:22,880
Oh, look! That dog has wheels
for back legs. How killing!
411
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,720
- Where?
- There!
412
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,560
Go boy, go! There.
413
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,720
Oh no, he's
going downhill.
414
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,240
It's like a half dog,
half automobile!
415
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,880
Ah, there he is.
416
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,560
Welcome to paradise,
special one.
417
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,320
Set to it, ladies,
no time to lose.
418
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,880
Let the breeding begin!
419
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,800
No, what's going on?
420
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,880
Bruv? I've got a fiancée!
421
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,880
Eh, Eleasha! Eleasha!
30227
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