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All language subtitles for Red Shoe Diaries s05e10 Carried Away

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:09,940 Dear Red Shoes, this isn't exactly a letter. 2 00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:13,380 This isn't a letter. 3 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:20,020 It's more like a confession of a cathartic, life -changing, liberating 4 00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:21,560 experience I had recently. 5 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,300 Like one of those dreams where you suddenly realize that you can fly. 6 00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:31,260 Looking down from above, weightless, exhilarated, brave. 7 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:37,200 When the spell broke, I realized I needed a little time back in my world to 8 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,440 reflect upon what we had. 9 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,700 And I gave myself a month. 10 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:48,920 I went where I always go when I'm sad. 11 00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:54,360 I traveled out into the country to an abandoned old castle. 12 00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:05,090 My uncle's the caretaker there. 13 00:03:06,990 --> 00:03:09,650 I used to spend the summers there when I was a kid. 14 00:03:10,870 --> 00:03:14,450 It's big and dusty and haunted with memories. 15 00:03:25,290 --> 00:03:27,470 First time we touched was here. 16 00:03:29,370 --> 00:03:31,430 First time we made love was here. 17 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:43,360 When we first met I'd send him messages and he'd send them back. 18 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,840 Training pigeons together was a part of how we fell in love. 19 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,100 I never thought I'd fall in love. 20 00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:08,980 fall in love. 21 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:15,720 And when I did, I just happened to be with the least likely man on earth. 22 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,200 Not that he isn't wonderful. 23 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,080 It's that he's an artist. 24 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:46,950 Not just an ordinary artist. 25 00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:50,170 His subjects are women. 26 00:04:57,490 --> 00:04:58,650 All of them young. 27 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:01,410 All of them beautiful. 28 00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,250 And all of them naked. 29 00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:12,050 I told myself I'd get used to it. 30 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:18,020 Even though I knew he wasn't sleeping with them, it was still hard to take, 31 00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:25,040 seeing him that close to them, that intimate. 32 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:41,600 Call it jealousy. 33 00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:49,430 insecurity, whatever it was, it was still hard to take. 34 00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:16,630 I even tried modeling for him. 35 00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:26,110 I've never done anything like it before. 36 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:32,850 And I'd be lying if I didn't say it excited me. 37 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:37,670 I mean really excited me. 38 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,270 The paint. 39 00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:49,110 on my body. 40 00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,110 Its warmth. 41 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,750 The texture. 42 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,610 The intimacy. 43 00:07:05,070 --> 00:07:07,130 To be that free. 44 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,130 His eyes on my body. 45 00:07:13,870 --> 00:07:15,190 The paint. 46 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,440 on my body. 47 00:07:37,860 --> 00:07:43,020 And I watched his concentration, his focus, 48 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:50,900 to 49 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:52,040 be that free. 50 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:24,450 It excited me. 51 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:34,510 when I was with him, it was like we were floating on a cloud in our 52 00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:35,669 own little world. 53 00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:39,330 Perfect. 54 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,250 So perfect. 55 00:08:54,410 --> 00:08:56,050 Absolutely perfect. 56 00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:11,150 And then I began to think, if it excited me that much to be with him that way, 57 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:13,870 what about them? 58 00:09:15,690 --> 00:09:16,810 The other women? 59 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,390 imagination started running wild. 60 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,490 All I could see was him with those other women. 61 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,810 It was him with those other women. 62 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,270 Jealousy. 63 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:40,670 Insecurity. 64 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:45,390 I knew whatever it was, it would eventually destroy what we had. 65 00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:46,590 Oh, wow. Please. 66 00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:53,580 Everything. So I decided to leave. 67 00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:07,200 There's nothing I can do to convince you to stay. 68 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,250 It's me. 69 00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:26,970 It's nothing to do with you. 70 00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:28,650 It's all in my head. 71 00:11:56,439 --> 00:11:58,280 Let me know that you're okay. I will. 72 00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:40,630 It's crazy what we do to ourselves, projecting our worst nightmares, our 73 00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:41,630 fears. 74 00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:44,070 And it filled me with sorrow. 75 00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:46,830 And it filled me with pain. 76 00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:51,650 And all I could think about was him. 77 00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:56,730 And he kept on calling. 78 00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:01,990 The phone kept ringing. 79 00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,830 But what could I say to him? 80 00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:12,990 I hate phones and telegrams and faxes. 81 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,250 But what could I say to him? 82 00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:35,790 It had nothing to do with him. 83 00:13:36,570 --> 00:13:37,590 It was me. 84 00:13:38,390 --> 00:13:39,890 It was all in my head. 85 00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:43,970 The phone just kept on ringing. 86 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:46,950 Come on, guys. 87 00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:52,890 What about all those lovers and generals on the battlefield? 88 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,270 Napoleon and Josephine? 89 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,750 Caesar and Cleopatra? 90 00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:05,250 Tarzan and Jane. 91 00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:14,110 Cleopatra lying awake at night in Egypt, wondering if Caesar was being faithful 92 00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:18,610 to her, wondering how she measured up to those other women. 93 00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:35,770 much I missed him. 94 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,110 How much he meant to me. 95 00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:56,950 Jealousy sucks. 96 00:14:58,350 --> 00:14:59,570 Insecurity sucks. 97 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,960 Son of a bitch. I missed him so much. 98 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,460 Maybe if I send him one word at a time. 99 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,040 Stupid. 100 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,100 Jealous. 101 00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:36,460 Insecure. 102 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,440 Weak. 103 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,260 I don't know what to do. 104 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,100 That image of you in the hallway that day. 105 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,980 I'm still trying to understand why. 106 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,320 Can't paint. 107 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,400 Can't sleep. 108 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,360 Don't want to sleep. 109 00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:58,420 Can't sleep. 110 00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:00,620 Don't want to sleep. 111 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000 Can't eat. 112 00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:04,580 Don't want to eat. 113 00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,220 Can't work. 114 00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:07,460 Can't sleep. 115 00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:09,770 Don't want to work. Don't want to sleep. 116 00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:11,590 Can't paint. 117 00:16:12,290 --> 00:16:13,290 Don't want to paint. 118 00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:19,990 Miss you. 119 00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:21,850 Love you. 120 00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:24,090 Want you. 121 00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:28,330 Need you. 122 00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:29,550 Want you. 123 00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:15,310 And we just kept sending the notes back and forth. 124 00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:26,849 The more notes we sent, the better I felt. 125 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:29,890 Freer. 126 00:17:30,990 --> 00:17:31,990 Calmer. 127 00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:33,890 More in love. 128 00:17:36,910 --> 00:17:38,150 Completely in love. 129 00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:44,470 Miss you. 130 00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:46,250 Love you. 131 00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,190 Want you. 132 00:17:54,150 --> 00:17:55,030 Miss 133 00:17:55,030 --> 00:18:06,070 you. 134 00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:07,910 Need you. 135 00:18:08,990 --> 00:18:10,430 Want you. 136 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:12,310 Miss you. 137 00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:46,620 I can't live without you. 138 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,300 I need you. 139 00:18:48,340 --> 00:18:55,180 I want you. I miss you. I want you. I miss you. 140 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,320 Come home. 141 00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:57,950 Can't live without you. 142 00:18:58,210 --> 00:18:59,210 Please come home. 143 00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:04,560 If you ever paint yourself into a corner, into a place where you can't 144 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,340 way out, my advice to you is to just shut your eyes and jump. 145 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:13,060 You do that? 146 00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:15,420 Jump up. 9112