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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,720 Dear Red Shoes, I don't keep a diary. 2 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,960 Even this is difficult for me. 3 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:07,080 Not to tell you my story, but to write a letter. 4 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,039 To write subjectively. 5 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,720 To try and express emotions as words. 6 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,420 You see, I was trained to repress emotion. 7 00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:19,460 To think, behave, and account for my actions with the barest minimum of 8 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:23,740 But what I found out about myself through this experience is that I'm 9 00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:24,740 quite good with words. 10 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,240 Pushed against the wall, I think I could talk anybody into just about anything. 11 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,460 So it'll be good, Stella. 12 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:35,300 Do you work out? 13 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:39,460 Of course you do. I don't know a single person in the city who doesn't go to the 14 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,460 gym. 15 00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:44,140 But maybe that's because I'm always there, seven days a week, whenever I'm 16 00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:45,140 working. 17 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,260 I love looking at men's bodies. 18 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:59,740 I mean, love looking at men's bodies. 19 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:06,500 Biceps, torsos, hamstrings, 20 00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:08,440 abs. 21 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:16,300 And like 98 % of the faithful, I'm here to check out and to 22 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,300 be checked out. 23 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:44,590 There is, however, that 2 % of the faithful who go to the gym simply to 24 00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:45,590 out. 25 00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:47,870 The super dedicated. 26 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,830 The ones who never look at anyone else. 27 00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:52,870 Not even themselves. 28 00:03:57,030 --> 00:04:02,270 At the Westside Body Connection, that 2 % was a racquetball player. 29 00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:04,470 His name was Nick. 30 00:04:05,890 --> 00:04:07,170 Nick Willett. 31 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,580 That was all I knew about him. 32 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,480 He wasn't like anybody else in the gym. 33 00:04:16,260 --> 00:04:21,800 He was the only man in two years of coming to the gym who never noticed me. 34 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,920 Never. 35 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:32,680 Three times a week, he'd show up at the gym, beat somebody, and leave. 36 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:47,320 And those eyes, those beautiful eyes. 37 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,540 He was an extraordinary being. 38 00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:02,140 To meet him, I had to employ extraordinary means. 39 00:05:13,390 --> 00:05:16,030 There was no way he wasn't going to notice me tonight. 40 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,630 I'd already gone too far. 41 00:05:19,810 --> 00:05:21,110 I was committed. 42 00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:23,890 There was no turning back. 43 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,010 In for a penny, in for a pound. 44 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:34,850 Like my daddy used to say, anything worth doing is worth doing right. 45 00:05:46,919 --> 00:05:48,360 License and registration, please. 46 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,480 Did it change the speed limit here? 47 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:00,800 Nick Willard? 48 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,120 That's you? 49 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,380 Yes, ma 'am. Yes, officer. 50 00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:07,980 Would you step out of the car, please, Mr. Willard? 51 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,280 Yes, ma 'am. 52 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,820 You know you ever broke into LA? 53 00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:25,260 No. 54 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,940 I didn't this morning. 55 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,220 Step up to the curb, please. 56 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:30,960 I beg your pardon? 57 00:06:31,180 --> 00:06:32,380 Step up to the curb, please. 58 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:35,780 I beg your pardon, officer. What for? 59 00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:49,300 Arms out at your side. 60 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:50,760 Head back, eyes closed. 61 00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:53,360 Just the tip of your nose with your right index finger. 62 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,720 Okay, Mr. Willard, I've seen enough. Step over to the fence. 63 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:03,180 Excuse me? Step over to the fence. 64 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,980 I think you owe me some sort of explanation. 65 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,380 Put your hands up on the fence. Spread your legs. 66 00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:18,420 What's the charge? 67 00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:20,670 Driving with a broken taillight. 68 00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:24,350 Violation of vehicle code 24600. 69 00:07:25,950 --> 00:07:29,190 You're risking me for a broken taillight? Keep it forward, Mr. Willett. 70 00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:32,950 Place your right hand behind your neck. 71 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,150 Now the left. 72 00:07:40,230 --> 00:07:41,230 This is ridiculous. 73 00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:44,590 What the fuck is this? 74 00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:47,270 You're digging yourself a hole here, Mr. Willett. 75 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,640 I mean, you're arresting me for a traffic misdemeanor? 76 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,760 Aren't you going to read me my rights? 77 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,220 Want to hear your rights? 78 00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,720 You have the right to remain silent. 79 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:28,240 I took him to an artist's loft in the middle of the city. 80 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,180 A place we'd done a drug bust the night before. 81 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,679 I know. 82 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,020 I must have been crazy. 83 00:08:35,799 --> 00:08:37,340 Putting my job on the line. 84 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:39,240 Abusing the authority of my badge. 85 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,600 But I'd thought about it. 86 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,180 This was the only way. 87 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,300 I have $200 in my wallet. Take it. 88 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,200 Take my watch, whatever you want. 89 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,770 I don't know why I chose the place. 90 00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:02,770 Maybe because I felt it was the place he belonged. 91 00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:06,430 I could see him there on opening night. 92 00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,510 With all those models. 93 00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:12,910 All those well -dressed people. 94 00:09:16,310 --> 00:09:17,970 And then there were the chairs. 95 00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:20,690 You like art, Nick? 96 00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:24,430 I don't know much about it, but... 97 00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:29,290 Lately, it's just gotten under my skin, you know? 98 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:35,650 And there's a guy who spends $28 million and builds some yellow umbrellas out in 99 00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:36,609 the desert. 100 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,310 Take them down in three weeks. 101 00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:40,570 Can you imagine that? 102 00:09:42,210 --> 00:09:44,630 What's that compared to barber chairs? 103 00:09:45,290 --> 00:09:46,470 Gigs up, Costello. 104 00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:48,410 Gangster. 105 00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,860 one of those singing telegrams. 106 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:25,700 Shhh. 107 00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:31,460 Rule number one. 108 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,120 I talk, you listen. 109 00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:40,300 My game. 110 00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,080 Play by the rules. 111 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:49,900 My rule. 112 00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:00,790 You look good, Nick. 113 00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:08,290 I mean, you always look good, but tonight you look especially good. 114 00:11:13,850 --> 00:11:19,990 Do I know you? 115 00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:24,430 No. 116 00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:26,370 You don't know me. 117 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:48,160 You don't know me. I'm just a woman, just like every other woman. 118 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,660 Why should you know me? 119 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,440 I've got to tell you, you don't strike me as an average woman. 120 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,200 Thank you, Nick. 121 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,600 I appreciate you saying that. 122 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:12,340 That's why you're here. 123 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:18,300 I'm going to convince you that I'm not an average woman. 124 00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,980 Aren't you even going to ask me my name? 125 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,520 McCabe. 126 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,900 It's on your badge. 127 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,140 So, you do notice things. 128 00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,560 How about remembering things? 129 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,700 Would you remember my first name if I told it to you? 130 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,400 It's office. 131 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,040 Isn't it? 132 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,580 My friends call me Lynn. 133 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,540 Aren't you worried about me turning you in, Lynn? 134 00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:16,130 Turn me in, Nick, if you want to. 135 00:13:18,970 --> 00:13:22,750 But I don't think you want to. 136 00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:26,990 Think of the humiliation. 137 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,970 Wouldn't do your career much good now, would it, Nick? 138 00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:01,910 You look like a lawyer. 139 00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:11,530 Why the blindfold? 140 00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:18,710 Because, Nick, beneath this uniform, 141 00:14:19,010 --> 00:14:23,770 you may not like what you see. 142 00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:27,090 Then again, where... 143 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,820 Now, you see, Nick, you made it perfectly clear. 144 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,580 I'm not up to standard. 145 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,480 When was that? 146 00:14:48,380 --> 00:14:49,380 Every day. 147 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,420 Five days a week. 148 00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,600 The past two years. 149 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,300 Working out at the same gym. 150 00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:04,270 Never once noticed me. 151 00:15:06,570 --> 00:15:07,570 Not a nod. 152 00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:11,570 Not a hello. 153 00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:16,350 You didn't even recognize me when I pulled you over. 154 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,970 I go to the gym to play racquetball, not to flirt. 155 00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,950 So, where do you do your flirting, Nick? 156 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,230 I don't. 157 00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:31,890 I work. 158 00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:34,710 I work out. 159 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:36,810 And I work. 160 00:15:37,390 --> 00:15:40,370 Do you work with the same intensity that you play racquetball? 161 00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,070 Put it this way. 162 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,150 I never lose. 163 00:15:48,770 --> 00:15:49,770 Really? 164 00:15:51,190 --> 00:15:53,010 Do you make love with the same intensity? 165 00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:56,670 You know, I've always wondered if it's the same thing. 166 00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,450 Damn it, I'd take it to say... 167 00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:03,410 Run a marathon. 168 00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:06,090 Play two hours of racquetball. 169 00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:10,330 Stay in power in bed. 170 00:16:24,910 --> 00:16:26,510 I used to run long distance. 171 00:16:28,690 --> 00:16:30,130 But it's hard on a woman. 172 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,740 It affects your metabolism. 173 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,240 Sometimes women's bodies are pleasing. 174 00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:44,600 So I've heard. 175 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,780 What else have you heard about women, Nick? 176 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:53,180 What else do you know? 177 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,100 Do you know how attractive you are to them? 178 00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:04,349 You should hear what they say about you in the women's locker room. 179 00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:08,410 You should hear their fantasies. 180 00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:13,550 I'd like to hear your fantasies, Nick. 181 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,010 Do you ever fantasize about women in uniform? 182 00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:23,690 Candy stripe. 183 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,589 I was having my tonsils out. 184 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,080 No, Nick, I mean, don't you like to play dress -up? 185 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,220 I do. I do it all the time. 186 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:44,560 Some men really understand what it's like to play dress -up. 187 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,140 My father did. 188 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,400 He was a sergeant major in the Marine Corps. 189 00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:08,110 You should have been a boy. 190 00:18:10,650 --> 00:18:11,650 Lynn. 191 00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:14,830 I'm glad you're not a boy. 192 00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:21,930 How glad, Nick? 193 00:18:27,850 --> 00:18:28,930 Not glad enough. 194 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,510 Yet. 195 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,640 You're really good friends. 196 00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:00,660 What do they call you? 197 00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:08,500 You can call me Linny, Nick. 198 00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:09,740 No. 199 00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:14,940 You're really good friends. 200 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,020 Mona. 201 00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:29,690 My real name's Mona. 202 00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:33,150 Mona. 203 00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,130 Lynn. 204 00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:42,090 McCabe. 205 00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:45,970 The 206 00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:52,910 question is, 207 00:20:53,050 --> 00:20:57,630 do you believe in safe sex? 208 00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:01,970 I do. 209 00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:07,850 In this day and age, it would be irresponsible not to. Don't you think? 210 00:21:09,450 --> 00:21:16,210 I spent over 45 minutes in the drugstore today trying to decide which brand to 211 00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:17,210 buy. 212 00:21:18,530 --> 00:21:20,610 I spoke with both pharmacists. 213 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:27,430 All those colors. 214 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:39,720 I hope the one I chose doesn't disappoint you. 215 00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:10,950 Listen. Mona. 216 00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:13,630 Good. 217 00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:17,630 That's... That's good, Nick. 218 00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:19,210 That's very good. 219 00:22:20,810 --> 00:22:27,590 On a scale from 1 to 10, now I'd say I, uh, gained 220 00:22:27,590 --> 00:22:28,590 a few points. 221 00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:43,890 All set. 222 00:22:47,970 --> 00:22:52,450 And now, we wait. 223 00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:57,770 Wait for what? 224 00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:05,450 Rule number two. 225 00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:19,060 We wait for you to ask me to make love to you. 226 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,780 I don't do anything unless you ask me to. 227 00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:34,900 You know anything about men? 228 00:23:36,380 --> 00:23:39,480 You know that my temporary physical condition... 229 00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:44,580 doesn't necessarily mean that I want to make love to you. 230 00:23:46,340 --> 00:23:53,120 My cleaning lady, my bank teller, my Aunt Louise, all give 231 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,120 me hard -ons. 232 00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,360 Doesn't mean I want to make love to them. 233 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,410 Tell me about your cleaning lady. 234 00:24:15,090 --> 00:24:16,630 Your big teller. 235 00:24:17,930 --> 00:24:18,930 Aunt Louise. 236 00:24:20,450 --> 00:24:22,710 They've never been this close to you. 237 00:24:46,730 --> 00:24:47,730 Stand still. 238 00:25:27,180 --> 00:25:29,000 You broke the rules, Officer McCabe. 239 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:31,640 Who gives a fuck? 240 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,360 I hope you enjoyed yourself. 241 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,040 Get involved with me. 242 00:25:45,660 --> 00:25:47,260 You surrendered to me. 243 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,020 Your every thought. 244 00:26:04,820 --> 00:26:07,200 All of it. 245 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,160 They belong to me. 246 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:13,020 Started out as a battle, quickly escalated into a war. 247 00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:16,660 Neither of us willing to give up control. 248 00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:22,140 As soon as we stopped making love, we'd start again. 249 00:27:23,180 --> 00:27:27,240 Over and over and over again. 250 00:27:28,060 --> 00:27:34,140 Until eventually, mister, I'd go to the gym to work out, not to flirt. 251 00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:35,740 Started to crack. 252 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,300 To a point where... 253 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:42,980 I actually think he began to like me. 254 00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:46,060 Listen 255 00:27:46,060 --> 00:28:00,640 to 256 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:07,260 me, tough guy. I'm tired of this bullshit. 257 00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:11,080 It's been a month now. 258 00:28:12,170 --> 00:28:13,430 back to work. Oh, shit. 259 00:28:13,710 --> 00:28:16,590 From now on, we're going to have a normal relationship, you and me. 260 00:28:16,790 --> 00:28:17,609 Oh, shit. 261 00:28:17,610 --> 00:28:21,070 I'm going to buy you lingerie and a dress and a car, anything you want. I'm 262 00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:23,910 going to take you to dinner. I'm going to pay for it. Oh, shit. We're going to 263 00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:27,030 go to bed at 11 like normal fucking people and watch the fucking news. 264 00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:28,390 And we're going to go to Ohio. 265 00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:31,830 And I'm going to meet your grandma. And she's going to like me. And I'm going to 266 00:28:31,830 --> 00:28:32,830 like her. 267 00:28:35,370 --> 00:28:38,930 Just like normal, normal people. 268 00:29:09,710 --> 00:29:12,550 Like my daddy said, play to win. 269 00:29:13,650 --> 00:29:19,210 And never, ever give up control. 270 00:29:20,730 --> 00:29:21,890 Never give up control. 271 00:29:23,050 --> 00:29:24,430 Never give up control. 272 00:29:25,350 --> 00:29:26,650 Maybe for a little while. 273 00:29:27,470 --> 00:29:29,250 But in the end, somebody's gonna lose. 274 00:29:30,750 --> 00:29:32,730 And the harder you play, the harder you fall. 275 00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:37,030 But at least they got it out in the open. 276 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,360 At least they're facing it head on. 277 00:29:48,220 --> 00:29:53,140 So, tell me, Stella, what do you do to your flirting? 18324