Original subtitles

Hey, Shana.

Hi, Mikey.

So, um, this is where your locker is.

This is where all the lockers are.

Do you still need help with math after school?

That'd be great.

My dad tried to help me last night, but he kept screaming that all the answers

in your book were wrong.

Well, why didn't you just ask Duncan for help?

Duncan's a yo -yo. Besides, we broke up.

You broke up?

Well, see you later.

Yeah, bye.

All right! They broke up! Yes!

Riding on my chair, she won't know that I'm there. If I can hand it in tomorrow,

it'll be all right.

It's all right, cause I'm saved by the bell.

She's coming, she's coming.

JFK hasn't had a dance in six years.

Ever since Billy Pennington broke Kevin Diamond's nose in a fight over Julie

Burnett, Kevin's mom settled out of court for an apology and a nose job.

Miss Flint, we want... No, no, we demand...

Well, we'd really appreciate an eighth grade dance.

I'm sorry, Nikki. You know Mr. Belding's rule?

No dances.

We don't even know what the dumb fight was about. I heard it had something to

with Belding's daughter, the woodshop teacher, and a clamp.

Back. Those are all rumors.

Mr. Bounty doesn't even have a daughter.

Then why did he let her go to the dance?

Miss Bliss, whatever went on at that dance wasn't our fault. Yeah, we're

punished for something that happened when we were eight years old.

Yeah, when I was eight years old, I was grounded for waxing my dad's car with

our cat.

You know, fluffy still beads up when it rains.

You know something, Nikki?

You're right.

You deserve that dance.

I'll talk to Mr. Belding. And furthermore, I mean, dancing's a part of

social development. It's part of our youth.

Nikki, you're the only person I know who can't take yes for an answer.

Gary, I got a great idea.

Let's drive up to Bloomington for the Indiana -Michigan game next weekend.

Oh, Tina, I'd love to, but I have the Save the Whales dinner with Sherman.

Did you say Sherman?

No, I mumbled Sherman.

that you agreed to go with him again.

Last year, didn't he jump into this aquarium to, and I quote, become one

Shamu?

Actually, it was kind of touching watching them go through the hoop

Harry, he's a dork.

Tina, he's Sherman.

We worked together on this fundraiser for the last four years. It's an

obligation.

I give up one Saturday night, and it's over.

Well, think positively. Maybe he'll get sick.

Dorks never get sick.

Attention all students.

The CPR program will not be held until a replacement can be found for the late

Mr. Floyd.

So what can I do for you two?

We would like to reinstate the 8th grade dance.

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

I understand your past concern, but that was then.

And this is now, which means, and I quote, no.

But these are good kids. Really, they deserve a dance.

Mr. Belding, remember your eighth grade dance? The romance, the expectation, the

excitement? Of course I do.

I had a date with the girl of my dreams, Carol Pachorek. What was she like?

She was tall and slender and beautiful and popular.

When she said yes, I couldn't believe it.

Neither could she. She changed her mind and went with Buck Sinclair.

I'm going to teach now.

I hated Buck Sinclair.

I got even with him.

Last semester I suspended his kid.

Mr. Belding, I think it's very unfair that these kids should be penalized for

something they had nothing to do with.

This seems very important to you.

It is. I believe in these kids.

Well, I'm not so sure about them, but I do believe in you, so... Okay.

But the dance has to be next Saturday because the cafeteria is booked through

spring. Next Saturday will be fine. And, of course, you will be there to

chaperone this little soiree.

That's a problem.

Well, that was the fastest dance in school history.

Hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did.

But I've got plans.

Let me put this simply.

If you don't chaperone, no one shakes their boogies.

It's booty.

Guess what?

Jordan asked me to the dance.

Well, that's great. So who are you going with?

I told you, Jordan.

Rule number one, never say yes to the first guy who asks.

But if you like him, why not?

Because somebody better may come along.

Anybody ask you?

Yeah, Jeffrey, Bob, Stephen, that's all. I got to school late.

That's no like Nelson hasn't asked you.

He asks you every week. I know. I've been avoiding him all morning. He's the

only guy in school that makes Screech look like Rob Lowe.

Thanks!

Mikey, what's the big secret?

It's about the dance.

look, I'm not going to teach you to dance in the bathroom.

Hey, guys, open up in there.

Sorry, Screech, it's Occupado. Use the bathroom on the second floor.

I don't know if I'm going to make it.

So what's up?

Well, I want to ask this girl to the dance, but I don't want to blow it. I

your help.

Okay. First of all, girls like to be called women.

Women. Right.

And second, when you're talking to them, Look deep into their eyes.

Deep. And last, and most important, let her know that you think she's awesome.

Okay, I got it.

Woman, you are awesome.

I can't do this. It isn't me.

Hey, it isn't anyone. But it works.

Hey, relax.

You remember Debbie Rinder's flummer party?

Yeah, you let me stand on your shoulders so I could climb that tree and peek at

the girls? Yeah, we ended up in the wrong tree and watched Debbie's

soak her teeth.

See, Mikey, you weren't afraid to go after a girl then, so don't be afraid

Hey, guys, the second floor bathroom's out of order.

So try the one...

buildings, sir. What's going on in here?

We were just cleaning off the graffiti.

And you expect me to believe that?

It was about you.

Well, keep up the good work, boys.

Hi, Zach.

Hey, Shana.

How's it going?

Fine. Isn't it great about the dance?

Yeah. Are you going? I hope to. My mom let me buy a new miniskirt.

Miniskirt?

Leather. Leather?

Mm -hmm. And the best part is, I don't have to be home until 11 .30.

But the dance ends at 9.

What could you possibly do for two and a half?

Would you like to go to the dance with me?

Sure, I'd love to go with you.

Uh, would noon be too early to pick you up?

Hey, Mikey.

believe it. I got a B+. My dad will croak.

Great. I mean that you got a B +, not that your dad might croak. And it's all

because of your help.

I still don't get how you understand this stuff so easily.

You look awesome.

Is there something wrong with your eyes?

I'm trying to ask you if you want to go to the dance with me.

Well, I'd love to. Really? But I already have a date with Zach Morris.

Miss, I hate to tell you this, but we have to have a meeting.

Another meeting? This is the fifth meeting in two days. It's only an eighth

grade dance.

Tell that to Mr. Belding.

He's got a few more precautions.

Let me guess.

Number one, no fun.

Actually, that's number two.

Number one is no slow dancing.

Okay, Milo. Give me the rest to make sure good times, no -nos.

Okay. No loud music, no sticky foods, no low lights.

And he's still debating whether the dance should be co -ed.

What kind of a party is this?

Not a good one.

Whatever gets going, it'll be boring.

Certainly not like my eighth grade dance.

Best time I ever had.

We partied all night.

Oh, my. Mr.

Belding would never let that happen here.

What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

So how many people have asked you to the dance so far?

Three, two, three, four.

Ten and a half.

Half? I'm counting the no -nick as the half.

You mean if he asked you, you'd actually consider going? Are you kidding?

I'd rather go with Screech.

I think it's about time to have that talk with Dad.

You know, I still can't believe Mr. Belly won't let us have a band.

Look, Lisa, not having a band isn't the end of the world.

We'll just play records.

Records? That's so low -tech.

Now, we have to find a DJ.

I think we need somebody who's funky.

Somebody with soul.

Hey, party animals!

This is the Prince of Pop, the soul of soul, the king of crazy music. So get

ready to shake your keister, because I'm the Screechster!

Screech, no.

Oh, I get it.

You two are afraid that if I DJ, I won't be free to dance with you.

You got the job speech.

So, I guess because of the dance, you got to cancel your date with Sherman,

Not exactly.

Well, I thought I was canceling. He thought I was inviting.

Now, be here.

Why don't the whales get together and have a save -the -Sherman dinner?

Hey, Mikey, look what I made. A weasel.

Pop goes the weasel. What'd you do that for?

Does the name Shane ring a bell?

Yeah, so what? I'm taking her to the dance.

Uh -oh.

Mikey, I had no idea. Don't even try to con me. I'm not.

I didn't know. You never even told me your name.

Great, then cancel.

You can't be serious.

I mean, this involves a great -looking girl.

You know, you're nothing but a slimy, backstabbing doofus. Hey, don't push me.

Hey, hey, you two, my classroom now.

I saw that. They pushed.

Pushing leads to shoving, shoving leads to fighting, and then fighting leads to

lawsuits and nose jobs.

Just calm down.

It's really nothing.

I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.

No, that's right.

There's gonna be a fight, hey, tonight.

There's gonna be a fight.

You have exactly ten seconds to tell me what's going on.

Make that nine.

Well, Mr. Teen Idol kidnapped my date to the dance.

It's not kidnapping when they go willingly.

I think I get the picture. Best friends fighting over a girl.

Sit down.

And that's pretty serious stuff.

But so is friendship.

What friendship?

What friendship?

Mikey, I'll bet there were a million guys willing to dismantle their bike so

your go -kart could have wheels for the soapbox derby.

It was your sister's bike. That's not the point, Mikey.

It was your sister's bike.

No, it wasn't. She lost it to me in a card game.

And Zach.

I'll bet there were a lot of guys just lining up to help you with your English

paper last year.

Yeah, I wrote every word of that.

Oh, right. You still think Catcher in the Rye is a baseball story.

Now, look, boys.

You can't let a girl come between you.

Your friendship's too important.

It can last a lifetime.

Think about what you'd be giving up.

I'm counting on you to settle this peacefully.

Okay? If you bring Shana to the dance, you're a dead man.

Which lucky guy did you choose to come with? All of them.

All ten of them? Shh.

It's a secret. They don't know about each other.

Hey, do you think Mikey's going to show? I hope not. I've never seen him this

mad.

So, how's your evening with Sherman going?

Well,

just imagine.

After this is over, you still get to go to the dinner with him.

I hope he's better at catching the tossed salad.

That was my personal favorite. Wanda and the Winers with Vaporize My Love. But

now let's go to the flip side with Love My Vaporize.

That was great. You're a really good dancer, Zach.

Hey, I can't take all the credit. I was just following your legs. I mean, your

lead. I'm thirsty. I'm going to go get some punch. You want some? Sure, thanks.

Having a nice time?

Yeah, great.

Do you realize you threw away a lifelong friendship for a red leather miniskirt?

I knew you'd understand.

No, I don't understand.

Zach, you stabbed your best friend in the back.

Shana, why don't we go outside and get some fresh air?

Did you hear that?

Stabbing. Whatever happened to spitball fights?

Mr. Belding, I talked to Mikey and Zach. There isn't going to be any fight.

Just relax.

Mingle.

Talk to Sherman.

talk to Sherman. Please don't make me do it again.

Thank you. You're beautiful.

But now the streetster would like to introduce you to our special guest DJ,

Music himself.

Thank you.

Hello, my children.

This is Mellow Man.

It's evening.

The moon is full and so is your heart.

It's time to show that special someone just how you feel. So leave your by the

hand out to the dance floor and let Milo take you home.

Take you home.

Mr. Belding, look at you.

You've been worried all night for nothing.

Now the dance is almost over, you haven't enjoyed a moment of it.

You know something, you're right.

Maybe I have been worried for nothing.

Maybe I should just relax a little and boogie down.

I usually only get like this on New Year's Eve.

I'm going to stop this right now.

Mr. Weldy, they're going to settle this whether we're here or not, so isn't it

better that they do it when we are?

All right, but if they start fighting, I'll take the little guy.

Zach, is there something going on I don't know about?

You mean you didn't even tell her? Tell me what?

I can't believe you did this to me. I can.

Stay out of it, Nikki.

Stay out of what? You know, you always get every... you want, Zach. Why is it

the one time I wanted something you had to get it too?

It, in this case, means you.

Look, I like you both. I don't want you guys fighting over me.

We're not.

It's between me and my ex -best friend.

You and me outside now.

Oh, I didn't know it was so intense.

Mikey, I'm not going outside with you.

Fine, we'll settle it right here.

I never thought I'd do anything to make you this mad. Well, you have.

Then I was wrong, Mikey.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

Hit me.

I deserve it.

Please, don't stop being my friend.

That'll hurt a lot more.

Thank you.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't the three of us go over to Cosmo's and get some pizza? Hey, that'll

great. Shana, would you mind if Mikey took you home?

That'd be all right.

That's really nice, Zach, but what's the catch?

I've got a 10 o 'clock curfew.

See?

I told you there was nothing to worry about.

Traitor! Hit it!

Hey guys, it's me again, Zach.

And today we have another show from the junior high days.

Screech and Lisa still look weird.

Anyways, nobody loves a practical joke more than I do.

Especially when someone else is the victim.

Well, Miss Bliss thought she was pretty cool because nobody could ever prank

her. Unfortunately, it got out of hand when we tried and Screech had to be put

on trial.

Now wait till you see Belding get it in this one.

Oh, Zach.