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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,633 --> 00:03:53,321 you. Oh. Hey, can I have a minute? Can I have a minute? Yeah, go ahead. No need to thank 2 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:57,706 us, sir, as we will not appreciate it. We have no consciousness whatsoever. 3 00:03:58,206 --> 00:04:07,736 Merely a Tomatom is here to serve. Meet Twelve. She's news. He looked at me. I put 4 00:04:07,836 --> 00:04:14,463 your parents' message on to soothe you. Thank you. He finds it soothing. I'm 5 00:04:15,684 --> 00:04:19,949 sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm 6 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:36,861 sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The message was damaged in transit from Krypton to 7 00:04:37,001 --> 00:04:44,953 Earth. But what is there? We love you more than hell and our son. We love you more than 8 00:04:45,033 --> 00:04:52,090 land. Our beloved hope will soon be gone forever. But hope vitalizes our hearts, 9 00:04:52,410 --> 00:04:58,719 and that hope is you, Kal-El. We have searched the universe for a home where you 10 00:04:58,759 --> 00:05:07,732 can do the most good, and live out what it comes true. That place is Earth. And the 11 00:05:07,752 --> 00:05:13,439 rest of the message is lost. 14 fractured bones. Damage to bladder, kidney, large 12 00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:19,088 intestine, lungs. Our poor Superman. With a healthy dose of yellow sun, we'll 13 00:05:19,128 --> 00:05:50,621 have him up and at him in no time. He landed somewhere near here. I can't see where. 14 00:05:51,862 --> 00:06:09,721 I'll keep looking. Sir, you are only 83% restored to health. You must rest. No can 15 00:06:09,761 --> 00:06:14,145 do, Fore. I gotta get back to the fray. But this Hammer fellow just beat you at full 16 00:06:14,265 --> 00:06:26,688 power. Sir? What is this? Crypto! What the hey, dude? I thought you destroyed the 17 00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:30,374 whole... Superman robots. I thought I told you to keep an eye on him. We feed the 18 00:06:30,394 --> 00:06:34,461 canine, but he is unruly. A man who realizes we are not flesh and blood and 19 00:06:34,541 --> 00:07:03,616 couldn't in our heart of hearts care less whether he lives or dies. The alien is on 20 00:07:04,579 --> 00:07:44,728 its way back. The people of Boradia will not ignore them inserting themselves 21 00:07:45,088 --> 00:07:58,902 into our hands! I'm sorry, the portal's grindin' ready. T-minus ten and 22 00:07:59,222 --> 00:08:04,988 counting. Buckle up, my lads! I'm sorry, Choco's down, we don't have fatalities. 23 00:08:10,098 --> 00:09:07,343 He's back. You're five o'clock. Copy. 12-C. 18-A. 34-B. It's like he knows 24 00:09:07,563 --> 00:09:15,294 Superman's every move before he makes it. He does. He's been studying him for years. 25 00:09:15,774 --> 00:09:25,908 He's developed over 2,500 fight moves for any situation. Superman! Got him. Malik 26 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:34,582 Ali, a local. Fox, we have the engineer. The target has led us to the ice castle. The 27 00:09:34,622 --> 00:09:45,538 rumors are true. I don't know how in the hell he thinks I'm going to be spotted. 28 00:09:45,558 --> 00:10:00,761 Mierda. It comes two to one. Hijo. Then the entire structure has descended into the 29 00:10:00,941 --> 00:10:06,204 ice. We have what we need. Return to base. I can truly do it, Lex. Your pride won't be 30 00:10:06,244 --> 00:10:09,330 making our choices today, Angela. Thank you. We'll need more than you when we get 31 00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:21,774 there. That's one to two. Done what we need to do. Wrap it up. The United States will 32 00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:24,928 continue to feel the wrath of the Hammer of Borelia. That's me, Mike. Once again, you 33 00:10:24,948 --> 00:10:28,712 freak, Falafel. When you save the women from being hit by a taxi. Are you alright, 34 00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:32,215 Superman? Natalie, you've got to get out of here. It's not safe. You've saved us so 35 00:10:32,235 --> 00:10:43,547 many times. Now it's our turn. Maybe you shouldn't have done that thing in Jarhead 36 00:10:43,647 --> 00:12:36,817 for us, Superman. As long as we... Let's bring it home. Do these unelected men and 37 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:42,284 humans think they can dictate international policy? It's outrageous. 38 00:12:43,065 --> 00:12:52,456 You're late again, Kent. Sorry, Perry. Hey, loser. Hey, Steve. Hey, what do you 39 00:12:52,476 --> 00:12:56,983 got against adverbs, Kent? I was supposed to know how we feel when we read this from 40 00:12:57,003 --> 00:13:03,031 our game. In sports writing, you learn the sentence is the modifier. So boring. Hey, 41 00:13:03,352 --> 00:13:11,423 Ma. Ma! Hey, Clark. Me and Paul just wanted to come and say congratulations on that 42 00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:16,450 front page. Boy, that is something. Hey, ask Ma if she barbecued up into the 43 00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:20,956 roadkill later. Shouldn't, Steve. Like a pasta or a chitlin. What's that, Clark? 44 00:13:21,036 --> 00:13:25,294 Sorry, Ma, I'm just in the middle What are chitlins? Chitlins are intestines. 45 00:13:25,314 --> 00:13:33,081 Thanks, Kat. You read this front? And I thought it was great, Clark. Great? Yeah, 46 00:13:33,101 --> 00:13:39,607 but it's a big town. Why, we don't want to keep you, but, uh, wanted to say congrats 47 00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:44,231 and tell you we're thinking about you, Clark. It's been a minute. Tell him don't 48 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:51,117 be a stranger. Pa says don't be a stranger. Oh, yeah, yeah, I heard him. Okay, I gotta 49 00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:55,652 go. I gotta run. Yep, okay, love you. So this guy just flew into Midtown and 50 00:13:55,692 --> 00:13:59,956 started attacking people, demanding for Superman to show up? Yeah, it's all there 51 00:14:00,036 --> 00:14:02,899 in my article. I don't actually have to make it through your writing, Clark. 52 00:14:02,919 --> 00:14:07,183 Knowledge is worth many sacrifices. That isn't one of them. Ha ha ha, very funny, 53 00:14:07,203 --> 00:14:13,548 Willis. 22 people in the hospital, over 20 billion in property damage. It does make 54 00:14:13,569 --> 00:14:18,073 you wonder. Wonder what? As great as he is, maybe Superman didn't completely incur 55 00:14:18,093 --> 00:14:22,213 the ramifications of the Bravia thing. What, this guy is even from Bravia? What do 56 00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:25,656 you mean, his name is the Hammer of Moravia? Yeah, I doubt his parents named 57 00:14:25,697 --> 00:14:29,440 him that, Jimmy. We have no clue what his actual goal was here. I think it's pretty 58 00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:32,603 obvious the bull was kicking Superman's ass. No, he didn't completely kick 59 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:38,309 Superman's ass. Pretty thorough, Clark. Show me! You show me what ties there are 60 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,274 between Moravia and this hammer! Yeah, see, Superman did say he thought the 61 00:14:43,474 --> 00:14:47,598 hammer might be faking a Moravian accent. Superman said that? Yeah, I interviewed 62 00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:51,413 him right afterwards. Great guy. You know, It's funny that you keep getting all 63 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:54,556 these interviews with Superman, Clark. I don't think there's anything funny about 64 00:14:54,596 --> 00:15:03,304 good journalism, Lois. Uh-huh. The relationship between Morena and the 65 00:15:03,324 --> 00:15:12,812 United States has been like iron for 30 years, until Superman came along. What 66 00:15:12,832 --> 00:15:17,816 you're looking at, my friends, is the most powerful being on planet Earth, 67 00:15:19,077 --> 00:15:26,477 Ultraman. You created this man? Check this out. The Engineer. A former special 68 00:15:26,557 --> 00:15:30,683 operative whose blood I infused with microscopic machines called nanites, 69 00:15:31,124 --> 00:15:36,513 which she can form into anything she can imagine. And of course, you're familiar 70 00:15:36,553 --> 00:15:40,459 with my flying armored forces, the Rappers. Altogether, they're an 71 00:15:40,619 --> 00:15:47,390 unstoppable force we call... Planet Watch. More than capable of containing 72 00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:54,732 any other worldly threat. So you want the Defense Department to hire your 73 00:15:54,752 --> 00:15:59,638 metahumans to take down the Kryptonian? After Superman acted with violence 74 00:16:00,038 --> 00:16:03,322 against our Barabian allies, I think it'd be worth considering. Big Blue stopped 75 00:16:03,342 --> 00:16:07,186 the war. Naive, maybe, but well-intentioned. Oh, I don't know the 76 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:12,511 intentions of an unattended firehose, General Flagg. I just do what I can not to be 77 00:16:12,591 --> 00:16:17,937 splashed. Mr. Luther. The disarming Director Crawley. The country of Borevia 78 00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:22,385 has purchased over $80 billion worth of arms from Luther Corp in the past two 79 00:16:22,425 --> 00:16:26,752 years. And? And no one would profit more from a war with Borevia and John Ford than 80 00:16:26,792 --> 00:16:30,699 you. A cynic might say that having Superman out of the way might not be bad for 81 00:16:30,759 --> 00:16:35,027 business. Well, what's particularly bad for business is dying. And I have a 82 00:16:35,087 --> 00:16:38,970 distinct feeling that's where we're all headed with the Kryptonian running wild. 83 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:42,734 So we're going to lock up all metahumans now? Look, other metahumans aren't going 84 00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:47,058 off half-cock, interfering in foreign affairs. They don't have, and I have proof 85 00:16:47,178 --> 00:16:51,462 of this, a hidden headquarters in Antarctica that violates 12 86 00:16:51,502 --> 00:16:58,208 international treaties, and they aren't aliens. Shouldn't all that be more than 87 00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:03,233 enough reason for Planet Watch to at least bring the Kryptonian in for questioning? 88 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:08,455 Admittedly, I'm not comfortable with a being from another planet as dangerous as 89 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:14,255 him on the loose. But the optics? Superman is popular. Less so every day, according 90 00:17:14,295 --> 00:17:17,928 to chatter online. Not to mention the potential risk of... failing to contain 91 00:17:17,968 --> 00:17:22,378 him. I assure you, Secretary, we can contain him. Yeah, they got this stuff. 92 00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:26,146 What's this kryptonite stuff called? It's called kryptonite. Well, it kills 93 00:17:26,206 --> 00:17:29,593 him, right? As far as we can ascertain, there's none left on the planet. I have a 94 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,021 workaround for that as well. You know what? It doesn't matter, Lux. Because 95 00:17:33,061 --> 00:18:16,153 without solid proof of malicious intent, it's just not worth the risk. What are you 96 00:18:16,173 --> 00:18:21,162 doing here? Three months ago, we had our first date. And so to celebrate, I am 97 00:18:21,202 --> 00:18:27,112 making you your favorite. Breakfast for dinner. That's your favorite. You love 98 00:18:27,152 --> 00:18:51,658 breakfast. Yeah, for breakfast. You love it for dinner. It was very funny today. 99 00:18:52,159 --> 00:18:56,143 What? It was hilarious. The little back and forth we had going. You giving me guff 100 00:18:56,183 --> 00:19:01,749 from my article. Jimmy was eating it up. I wasn't acting, Clark. If you keep 101 00:19:01,789 --> 00:19:05,773 interviewing yourself, eventually people are going to figure it out. But they 102 00:19:05,873 --> 00:19:12,240 won't. They won't fool everyone forever. And ethically, these interviews are 103 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:16,825 hugely problematic. I mean, you literally know the questions in advance. 104 00:19:18,086 --> 00:19:22,801 OK, so I'll let you interview me. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like that. Come 105 00:19:22,921 --> 00:19:27,787 on, Lois. I'm media savvy. I can handle any question that comes my way. Are you being 106 00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:37,538 serious right now? Yeah. You'd let me interview you as Superman? Sure. How 107 00:19:37,558 --> 00:19:51,312 about now? Um... Ready? Let's do it, Cronkite. Superman. Miss Lane. 108 00:19:52,653 --> 00:19:55,956 Recently, you've come under a lot of fire for what's up late. I know, it's a lot of 109 00:19:55,976 --> 00:19:59,580 fire. It's a lot. Today, the Secretary of Defense said he was going to look into your 110 00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:06,226 actions in Boravia. That's funny? It's not funny funny. It's just, I mean, come 111 00:20:06,287 --> 00:20:14,254 on. My actions? I stopped a war. Maybe. Not maybe. I did. OK. How? Well, Boravia 112 00:20:14,274 --> 00:20:19,142 invaded Jarhempur, and I showed up and told them that wasn't right. And? And 113 00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:25,269 smashing tanks and things, and a couple of planes and some other stuff. There were no 114 00:20:25,309 --> 00:20:29,014 casualties and no significant injuries. Did you interact at all with the president 115 00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:34,8 of Bravia, Vasil Grkos? A very small amount. What's a very small amount? That 115 00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:42,048 was between us. This is all on the record. Yeah, but that conversation was between 116 00:20:42,089 --> 00:20:46,233 the two of us. Yeah, and I would ask that question whether or not I knew the answer 117 00:20:46,273 --> 00:20:55,231 to it. Really? Really. After I stopped the war, I went to see Gherkos. Where? In the 118 00:20:55,251 --> 00:20:59,476 capital of Lucubic at the royal palace. And? And I took a private audience with 119 00:20:59,536 --> 00:21:06,464 Gherkos. How? I flew him out to the desert and I... And? And I placed him against a 120 00:21:06,484 --> 00:21:13,572 cactus. A cactus. So, torture? No, not torture. Its spikes were like, not even 121 00:21:13,592 --> 00:21:18,147 that big. What did you say? I told him that if he ever messes with Jar Hanver again, 122 00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:21,914 he'll have to personally answer to me. What did you mean by that? That if such 123 00:21:21,974 --> 00:21:25,561 events occurred, we would have a more serious discussion, that's all. More 124 00:21:25,601 --> 00:21:29,168 serious than tearing up his back on a cactus? Gherkos was gonna kill people. 125 00:21:29,228 --> 00:21:32,541 You seem to keep forgetting that. In effect, you... illegally entered a 126 00:21:32,581 --> 00:21:35,308 country, inserting yourself in the middle of an incredible heat of 127 00:21:35,348 --> 00:21:39,177 geopolitical tension, siding with a nation, Jarhanpur, which historically 128 00:21:39,237 --> 00:21:43,206 has not been a friend, but against a nation that's technically our ally, and then 129 00:21:43,346 --> 00:21:46,734 threatened to murder their head of state. First of all, whether or not Jarhanpur is 130 00:21:46,774 --> 00:21:49,699 an imperfect country, does not give another nation the right to invade it. 131 00:21:49,739 --> 00:21:52,022 Yes, but the Baravian government maintains they're freeing the 132 00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:56,406 Jarhempurians from a tyrannical regime. Yes, but you know that's very silly. I do? 133 00:21:56,446 --> 00:22:01,071 The Baravian government of all people is saying this? Come on. This is on the 134 00:22:01,192 --> 00:22:05,376 record, Superman. No, no. Now, see, now you're being dishonest, Lois. How am I 135 00:22:05,396 --> 00:22:10,802 being dishonest? Wait, stop it. What? You're being dishonest because you know 136 00:22:10,842 --> 00:22:13,245 as well as I do that the Baravian government is not well-intentioned. I 137 00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:19,339 think that's almost certainly the case, but do I know that? No, I don't. Can we go on 138 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:27,854 now? Yeah, fine. Hi. Hi. You think this is going well? Do I think this is going well? 139 00:22:28,374 --> 00:22:35,346 Um... I think I'm doing a good job. Superman, did you consult with the 140 00:22:35,406 --> 00:22:40,482 president before entering Bravian airspace? No. The Secretary of Defense? 141 00:22:40,502 --> 00:22:44,387 No. Or any U.S. official before you took matters into your own hands and decided 142 00:22:44,608 --> 00:22:47,332 unilaterally how to handle this extremely delicate situation. Your 143 00:22:47,352 --> 00:22:51,337 ghost and his goons were going to kill people. Yes, but the results of you 144 00:22:51,477 --> 00:22:55,443 seemingly acting as a representative of the United States will cause more 145 00:22:55,463 --> 00:23:00,490 problems around the world. More than a war that lasted between 12 and 24 hours and was 146 00:23:00,550 --> 00:23:04,776 just replacing one tyrannical regime with another. Is that really how you feel? 147 00:23:04,796 --> 00:23:11,072 I'm not the one being interviewed, Superman, I question it. Yeah, I would 148 00:23:11,132 --> 00:23:14,836 question myself in the same situation and hold off a beat and consider the 149 00:23:14,896 --> 00:23:29,612 consequences. People were going to die! Okay, I'd like to change the subject, if I 150 00:23:29,653 --> 00:23:34,798 could. Okay. You've gotten a lot of heat on social media lately. I don't read that 151 00:23:34,818 --> 00:23:40,645 stuff. Superman doesn't have time for selfies. Third person? You're referring 152 00:23:40,665 --> 00:23:44,010 to yourself in third person? No. No, it's just a thing I came up with that I thought 153 00:23:44,030 --> 00:23:46,974 I'd try to work into the next interview. This is on the record, Superman. Okay, 154 00:23:47,054 --> 00:23:50,979 well, not the part where I said that. Yes, that part. No, that part was an aside. That 155 00:23:51,019 --> 00:23:55,204 was off the record. You have to say off the record beforehand, not after. Why are you 156 00:23:55,345 --> 00:23:59,210 being like this? Fine, I won't write that you spend your spare time trying to think 157 00:23:59,270 --> 00:24:04,436 up soundbites, which are terrible, by the way. Social media. Yes. As you may know, or 158 00:24:05,097 --> 00:24:08,574 maybe you don't, since you claim not to read any of that stuff. Very seldom. Maybe 159 00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:12,360 sometimes people catch you reading it and looking very upset. Okay, well, you can't 160 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:17,847 use that. People on social media are suspicious because you are... an alien, 161 00:24:17,967 --> 00:24:23,595 yes? Yes. I've been very honest about that from the beginning. I come from a planet 162 00:24:23,655 --> 00:24:28,742 called Krypton. Okay. Which is gone now, by the way. Destroyed. Along with all of my 163 00:24:28,782 --> 00:24:34,790 history, my parents. They sent me here as a baby to save my life. Here? Where? I'm not 164 00:24:34,810 --> 00:24:44,298 gonna say that. You know I'm not gonna say that. Okay. What do you know about these 165 00:24:44,458 --> 00:24:51,105 biological parents of yours? Just that they sent me here to serve humanity and to 166 00:24:51,165 --> 00:24:57,331 help the world to be a better place. They said that? They did. They sent a message 167 00:24:57,391 --> 00:25:05,919 along with me. That message is why I do what I do. I cherish it more than anything. 168 00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:09,935 Because you understand. Now, there are an awful lot of people out there maintaining 169 00:25:09,995 --> 00:25:15,442 you're here for more nefarious purposes. Hashtag super spy, hashtag super shit. 170 00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:19,027 Super shit? Come on, Lois. You know that one specifically irritates me. It's an 171 00:25:19,047 --> 00:25:23,493 off the record, Clark. I didn't make it up. It's what people on the internet are 172 00:25:23,573 --> 00:25:29,678 saying. I'm going to go. Really? Yeah. Come on, Clark, don't do this. I'm not 173 00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:33,724 doing anything. No? No, that's not you? Packing up your shit and walking out of an 174 00:25:33,744 --> 00:25:36,628 interview? I'm not walking out of an interview. I'm just late. No, this is what 175 00:25:36,648 --> 00:25:39,633 you do every time you're faced with conflict. You get mad, you pout, and then 176 00:25:39,673 --> 00:25:42,757 you pretend like nothing's wrong. Nothing is wrong. Look, I gave you a nice 177 00:25:42,857 --> 00:25:47,164 long interview. Longer than I ever gave myself, by the way. Oh, you can time your 178 00:25:47,224 --> 00:25:50,328 imaginary interviews with yourself? That's a thing you can do? You got a lot of 179 00:25:50,368 --> 00:25:57,158 good stuff. Some stuff you can't use. I am well aware. I knew this would never work. 180 00:25:58,876 --> 00:26:09,271 What does that mean? Lois? What does that mean? Nothing. I just told you I wasn't 181 00:26:09,291 --> 00:27:01,804 good at relationships. He was right ahead. But how are we going to gain access? 182 00:27:01,825 --> 00:28:52,349 Oh yeah, a little bit. I do apologize, but this is a restricted area This is what we 183 00:28:52,369 --> 00:28:57,376 came for. Hopefully there's something on here we can use to convince the general 184 00:28:57,456 --> 00:29:02,763 Superman requires immediate action. I can't stand the better humans, but he's so 185 00:29:02,803 --> 00:29:12,376 much worse. Superman. He's not a man. He's an it. A thing with a cocky grin and a stupid 187 00:29:12,416 --> 00:29:15,2 outfit that somehow become the focal point of the entire world's 186 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:22,608 conversation. Nothing's felt right since you showed up. I know, Liz. I've 187 00:29:22,668 --> 00:29:34,008 sacrificed my own humanity to help get rid of it. Can you get in? It might take a while. 188 00:29:34,048 --> 00:30:23,083 What if the Kryptonian shows up? Don't worry. We're not creating them. What? 189 00:30:25,746 --> 00:30:29,430 There's a message. Keiichan? From his parents. It's damaged but there's more. 190 00:30:30,291 --> 00:30:36,958 Keiichan? It's... I can recover the rest. Keiichan? Keiichan? Keiichan? 191 00:30:36,978 --> 00:32:29,633 Keiichan? He's an awfully small distraction. early this morning in a 192 00:32:29,653 --> 00:32:44,661 jitters coffee shop about seven feet tall, but it has apparently been growing. 193 00:32:44,681 --> 00:33:46,186 Everybody okay? Hey buddy, eyes up here. Deep, slow breaths, ma'am. You're gonna 194 00:33:46,206 --> 00:33:55,416 be fine. Everybody clear the area! It's just so cheap. It's so obnoxious. You know 195 00:33:55,436 --> 00:34:00,940 what I mean? You can afford $1,000 concert tickets for use with the chaos here this 196 00:34:01,020 --> 00:34:05,132 morning. The Justice Gang has arrived on the scene. That's Green Lantern, 197 00:34:05,533 --> 00:34:10,347 Hawkgirl, and Mr. Terrific. They're funded by the Lord Tech Corporation. Get 198 00:34:10,688 --> 00:34:59,943 out! What's this game? It's hard, it's tough, but it's off-balance. I've been 199 00:34:59,963 --> 00:35:03,289 trying to figure out a way to get it out of here alive. Get it someplace where we can 200 00:35:03,329 --> 00:35:33,851 study it. Oh, come on, man. What? Go for it, Tash! Good for you, Apple! You're getting 201 00:35:33,871 --> 00:36:55,796 bleached again! Good gosh, there's got to be a better way to do this. How's it going 202 00:36:56,637 --> 00:37:06,686 with that guy you were seeing? You were saying you weren't sure about him? Yeah. 203 00:37:07,347 --> 00:37:21,820 He's a little strange. Woo! Had you steaks all round, huh? I was hoping we could 204 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:27,304 capture it and take it to an intergalactic zoo At least euthanize it less painfully. 205 00:37:27,485 --> 00:37:32,775 Come on, bro, don't be such a wuss. Hey! Just another day in the life of the Justice 206 00:37:32,835 --> 00:37:37,344 Gang! Another day? It's just a working day. Very well-proved to be appropriate, 207 00:37:37,364 --> 00:37:41,792 though. Probably not. Good chance, though. Anyway, I'd just like to say thank 208 00:37:41,832 --> 00:37:48,405 you on behalf of Vortec Industries for the opportunity. Why is nobody clapping? 209 00:37:57,869 --> 00:38:05,078 This has to be BS. Well, they couldn't be mistaken. Oh, no. Well, that sounds very 210 00:38:05,178 --> 00:38:09,564 disturbing, Lex. 28 of the world's top linguists have confirmed the 211 00:38:09,604 --> 00:38:13,169 translation, and 30 of the top forensic computer techs have confirmed the 212 00:38:13,329 --> 00:38:17,254 validity of the footage itself. Any chance they're mistaken? 213 00:38:17,274 --> 00:38:24,744 Unfortunately, no. You have the footage? Yes. Let's take a look. Hey, Colonel. We 214 00:38:24,764 --> 00:38:30,658 love you more than heaven, our son. We love you more than land. Our beloved home is 215 00:38:30,679 --> 00:38:36,630 soon to be gone forever. But hope vitalizes our hearts. And that hope is 216 00:38:36,851 --> 00:38:41,781 you, Kal-El. We have searched the universe for a home where you can do the 217 00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:48,093 most good and live out Krypton's truth. That place is Earth. I don't get it. What's 218 00:38:48,113 --> 00:38:57,606 bad about that? The people there are simple and profoundly confused. Weak of 219 00:38:57,626 --> 00:39:06,654 mind and spirit and body. Lord over the planet as the last son of Krypton. 220 00:39:06,674 --> 00:39:13,320 Dispatch if anyone unable or unwilling to serve you, Kal-El. Take as many wives as 221 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:18,545 you can so your genes in Krypton's might and legacy will live on in this new 222 00:39:18,605 --> 00:39:28,448 frontier. Do us proud, our beloved son. Rule without mercy. What about all the 223 00:39:28,528 --> 00:39:33,814 kind acts Superman has performed over the years, saving countless lives? No, he's 224 00:39:33,915 --> 00:39:40,984 grooming us. Lulling us into complacency so he can dominate without resistance, 225 00:39:41,444 --> 00:39:47,832 forging a path for his super-powered descendants to rule the Earth. I will not 226 00:39:47,872 --> 00:40:01,947 accept that. Will you? You seem upset. I am. I'm scared. I will admit that. I am 227 00:40:02,027 --> 00:40:40,229 scared. Because who knows how large his secret hair is already? Dude, you got a 228 00:40:40,269 --> 00:40:44,273 secret harem? No, Guy, of course I don't have a harem. If any of that message is even 229 00:40:44,373 --> 00:40:49,317 remotely true, then you are exactly the kind of alien threat I was commandeered by 230 00:40:49,357 --> 00:40:55,583 the Green Lantern Corps to protect this planet against. Back off, Guy. Make a 231 00:40:55,603 --> 00:41:05,211 move, Big Blue. Guy, relax. Was the message real or not? The first half was 232 00:41:05,572 --> 00:41:10,290 real. The second half was damaged. Trip from Krypton to Earth's surface. It's 233 00:41:10,310 --> 00:41:14,277 gotta be Doctor. No, wait, Clark. I know this computer forensics guys. They're 234 00:41:14,297 --> 00:41:20,849 not gonna say it's legit unless they are sure. I'm so sorry, man, but there's no way 235 00:41:20,889 --> 00:41:41,292 that message is fake. Where'd they get this footage, though? We're talking with 236 00:41:41,312 --> 00:41:46,021 the president, and we are reviewing our options now. Now I'm sorry, but I have to 237 00:41:46,041 --> 00:41:50,710 go. Are you buying this? I don't put anything past Luthor, Rick. But the 238 00:41:50,790 --> 00:41:57,524 message is authentic. If the Kryptonian is a danger, we have to act. I was a big 239 00:41:57,664 --> 00:42:01,710 Superman fan. I supported him all the time while I was dumping down. I mean, I hope he 240 00:42:01,770 --> 00:42:07,758 runs again. I don't care if you support me or not. Where is he? Don't call me a cheat. 241 00:42:07,778 --> 00:42:13,166 Okay, I'm getting on my times. Don't let the Kryptonian interfere with Voravia's 242 00:42:13,466 --> 00:42:21,157 interests. Voravia wants to save the people of Jakartpur. And Superman wants 243 00:42:21,277 --> 00:42:32,742 to keep them insane. As though... From what I hear, he finds Boravian women the 244 00:42:32,802 --> 00:42:49,048 most physically attractive and wants to add them to his secret area. Thank you! I 245 00:42:49,068 --> 00:42:54,422 couldn't ask for more, Mr. President. You were so pleasant and dynamic. Excellent. 246 00:42:55,043 --> 00:43:01,901 Bravo, Mr. Melenzoviร„โ€ก. Very pleasant. Bravo, very pleasant. Bravo, bravo. Come 247 00:43:01,921 --> 00:43:44,357 on, run. Leave me alone. I will not celebrate until the alien is off the 248 00:43:44,377 --> 00:43:49,204 board. Oh, here. Brought you a donut from Doe's Holes. New shop at Park Bridge, all 249 00:43:49,244 --> 00:43:55,332 places. It's a fake message. A stroke of genius. It's not fake. He's here to kill 250 00:43:55,352 --> 00:43:59,938 us. I knew it. I'm at Superman's fortress. I hope to get the knowledge to help destroy 251 00:43:59,978 --> 00:44:05,686 him. Little did I know, his own parents would be providing it. Oh, my word. Right? 252 00:44:05,706 --> 00:44:18,857 Yeah. I've been thinking of opening one in my half a jar head for him. Four, what 253 00:44:18,877 --> 00:44:30,558 happened? I tried to protect Superman. How did Luxor get in here? It's keyed into 254 00:44:30,578 --> 00:45:05,801 my DNA. Must protect Superman. Four, I'm sorry for Fred. Crypto? Crypto! Well, 255 00:45:05,821 --> 00:45:12,371 yeah, that's gonna go... I tried to stop him! It's fine, I'm not Superman. We 256 00:45:12,391 --> 00:45:17,219 finally meet. Would you like a coffee? Where's the dog? Dog? The dog, loser! You 257 00:45:17,299 --> 00:45:29,138 took the dog! That's righty, you get all of this. I have no clue what you're talking 258 00:45:29,178 --> 00:45:38,166 about. He's just a dog. I don't know what dog you're talking about, Hulk Hulk 259 00:45:38,186 --> 00:45:44,913 Hulking King. What did you say? I didn't say anything. You heard what he said! You 260 00:45:44,993 --> 00:45:50,559 heard him! He took him! I mean, it seems to me that the only rabid animal around here 261 00:45:50,599 --> 00:45:56,513 is Superman. Ever since the discovery of the Kryptonian's master plan, he's gone 264 00:45:56,573 --> 00:46:01,2 off the deep end. Thoughts, Chris? Can't say I'm surprised, Clevis. It's guys like 262 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:04,326 this, they always got a whole bunch of dark, ugly secrets. What do you mean, guys 263 00:46:04,406 --> 00:46:08,893 like this? He thinks he's better than everybody else. Makes his declarations 264 00:46:08,953 --> 00:46:13,601 against killing people unless it's absolutely necessary. Really, dude? It 265 00:46:13,641 --> 00:46:31,543 kind of sounds like you're trying to make the guys here a little more ignorant. You 266 00:46:31,583 --> 00:46:52,352 have a dog? No, not really. It's more of a foster situation. Coco? You were out 267 00:46:52,372 --> 00:47:00,534 there helping them? Oh, no, that's just, uh, that's just some dimensional imp. 268 00:47:01,416 --> 00:47:15,238 They've got that handled. I was looking for the dog. You okay? The footage is not 269 00:47:15,299 --> 00:47:21,889 what it looks like, Lois. Okay. The ship my parents sent me in was damaged in transit, 270 00:47:21,909 --> 00:47:27,494 so I only ever heard the first part of the message. And I believed that I knew how it 271 00:47:27,574 --> 00:47:33,268 ended, that my parents had sent me here to serve the people of Earth and to be a good 272 00:47:33,328 --> 00:47:42,149 man. I'm not here to rule over anybody, Lois. I never thought you were, even for a 273 00:47:42,250 --> 00:48:03,583 moment, Clark. I'm sorry before. Me too. But we're bound to, though. We're so 274 00:48:03,663 --> 00:48:10,654 different. I was just some punk rock kid from Bakerline, and you're... Superman. 275 00:48:11,455 --> 00:48:16,162 I'm punk rock. You are not punk rock. I like the Stranglefellows and the P.O.D.' 's 276 00:48:16,263 --> 00:48:20,329 and the Mighty Crabjoys. Those are pop radio bands. They're not punk rock. The 277 00:48:20,369 --> 00:48:29,154 Mighty Crabjoys suck. Okay, well, a lot of people love them. My point is I question 278 00:48:29,194 --> 00:48:36,230 everything and everyone. You trust everyone and think everyone you've ever 279 00:48:36,290 --> 00:48:58,578 met is like beautiful. Maybe that's the real punk rock. Lois, what did you mean 280 00:48:58,618 --> 00:49:13,254 when you said that you knew this would never work? I don't know. I'm gonna go. The 281 00:49:13,435 --> 00:49:19,241 DOJ has a warrant out for my arrest, so I'm gonna turn myself in. Wait, what? Why? 282 00:49:19,281 --> 00:49:23,065 Maybe they'll take me wherever they took the dog. I don't know how else to find him. 283 00:49:23,426 --> 00:49:30,123 It's a dog. Yeah, and he's not even a very good one, but... He's out there alone, and 284 00:49:30,163 --> 00:49:53,473 he's probably scared. I love you, Lois. I should have told you that a long time ago. 285 00:50:13,062 --> 00:50:20,813 Is that necessary? I'm coming in on my own accord. No one read me my rights. Of 286 00:50:20,833 --> 00:50:23,998 course, the side of those rights don't apply to extraterrestrial organisms. 287 00:50:24,578 --> 00:50:27,863 Therefore, at this point, Superman, you don't have any rights to read. The 288 00:50:27,903 --> 00:50:30,988 government is very well aware of potential limitations pertaining to 289 00:50:31,008 --> 00:50:34,252 you, so we've outsourced your confinement and your interrogation to 290 00:50:34,312 --> 00:51:49,418 Planet Watch. Planet Watch? I'm sorry about this. Twice in two days. What a 291 00:51:49,478 --> 00:51:55,646 pleasure. Luther. Your obsession with me is getting a little creepy. Don't worry. 292 00:51:56,347 --> 00:52:10,653 Tall, dark, and Martian isn't my type. Kryptonian. Massive death. Where are we? 293 00:52:10,673 --> 00:52:15,259 A pocket universe. I replicated the Big Bang with a Luthor Corp Mega Collider, 294 00:52:15,279 --> 00:52:20,265 tearing a tiny hole between the two universal fabrics. I'm able to access it 295 00:52:20,325 --> 00:52:25,532 from multiple dimensional portals I've set up around the globe. Rex! The 296 00:52:25,592 --> 00:52:29,937 metahuman, known as the Element Man, has been called into service for a specific 297 00:52:29,997 --> 00:52:35,024 purpose. He can metamorphose into any known substance, even substances 298 00:52:35,624 --> 00:52:56,820 foreign to this planet. Like? Kryptonite Superman's got a commission less than a 299 00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:02,509 day and already Bravia's pulling this crap Right what? Sorry, I'm trying to 300 00:53:02,549 --> 00:53:06,515 figure out how Lex Luthor's connected to all this How's that a mystery with the 301 00:53:06,535 --> 00:53:10,782 corpse sells arms to Bravia Bravia goes to war Luther sells more arms and gets richer 302 00:53:10,802 --> 00:53:18,481 than ever No I have a connection at Boda Bay. Boda handles the transactions 303 00:53:18,541 --> 00:53:22,626 between Luthor Corp and Baravia. Yes, Luthor Corp sold them approximately $80 304 00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:28,314 billion worth of arms, but for those arms, Baravia paid only $1.625 billion. So, 305 00:53:28,354 --> 00:53:33,440 Luthor gave them arms for free. For what? That's the $78,375,000,000 question. 306 00:53:33,580 --> 00:53:38,206 Have you found out where they're holding Superman? No one in the government will 307 00:53:38,246 --> 00:53:42,632 say. Luthor seems to be working to disable Superman just so he can't stop the 308 00:53:42,692 --> 00:53:48,501 invasion of Jargonpore. Why? That's way too much sugar, Lois. I party like a rock 309 00:53:48,521 --> 00:54:11,385 star, choir boy. Still can't hide the taste of petroleum. God. Lex is holding 310 00:54:11,425 --> 00:54:15,301 Superman in a pocket universe. A what? I don't know what a pocket universe is, 311 00:54:15,341 --> 00:54:19,447 neither does my source. They don't know anything about anything, really. But for 312 00:54:19,507 --> 00:54:24,074 sure, he's in a pocket universe. Who's your source? I can't say, but you owe me. 313 00:54:25,015 --> 00:54:36,932 Big time. Like... I can't even tell you how big. I love you, Jimmy Olsen. I love you. 314 00:54:37,112 --> 00:54:56,994 Love you. My monkey bot's here, farting outrage 24-7. Trashing you online. 315 00:55:10,551 --> 00:55:18,140 Hashtag super shit. Super dog. Well, how do you contain a super dog? You beam the 316 00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:25,631 super squirrels into its brain. We'll learn what we can, and we'll put the 317 00:55:25,711 --> 00:55:34,842 varmint down. It will undoubtedly be painful. This is our private 318 00:55:34,983 --> 00:55:39,628 correctional institution. Most cells are rented out to governments who want to 319 00:55:39,669 --> 00:55:45,236 keep their incarceration to political agitators private. Others have more 320 00:55:45,296 --> 00:55:50,342 personal transgressions. Florent wrote a blog about it. There are a few things I 321 00:55:50,442 --> 00:55:55,672 hate more Petty ex-girlfriends. You wouldn't be telling me any of this. Did we 322 00:55:55,692 --> 00:56:02,339 ever plan on letting you out? No. You'd be terminated already if it was up to me. But 323 00:56:02,399 --> 00:56:09,366 first, the government has some questions they want answered. Rex, look who it is. 324 00:56:19,458 --> 00:56:22,808 You be sure to keep our guests in check. Old Joseph certainly wouldn't want it any 325 00:56:22,848 --> 00:56:39,298 other way. I'll be back tomorrow to get the answers we need. Hey, handsome. Come on 326 00:56:39,318 --> 00:56:56,305 over. Hey, Eve. Sorry we had to meet here, but Lex has always asked us into traffic 327 00:56:56,325 --> 00:56:59,429 cameras so he knows where I am. I really don't understand why you're staying in 328 00:56:59,449 --> 00:57:01,492 that relationship. Because he made a point to tell me about all his 329 00:57:01,632 --> 00:57:05,938 ex-girlfriends he had in prison and his pocket universe. What? Right? How's your 330 00:57:05,958 --> 00:57:10,785 mom? My mom? Oh, I love her so much. I think of her as my mom even more than my own 331 00:57:10,845 --> 00:57:16,052 mother. Oh, she feels the same way from the one time that you guys met? Yes. So hey, 332 00:57:16,192 --> 00:57:20,818 okay. Yes. Yes. There seems to be some sort of connection between Bravia and your 333 00:57:20,838 --> 00:57:51,168 boyfriend. Wow. Could be together again? But you said my toes look like someone 334 00:57:51,188 --> 00:57:54,433 spilled shrimp cocktail on the floor. You have unconventional toes. Who cares? 335 00:57:54,653 --> 00:57:58,378 There's other parts you thought people would find very attractive. Lex tortured 336 00:57:58,398 --> 00:58:05,708 a dog the other day. Jesus Christ! I know. I have to go. Eve, please see what you can 337 00:58:05,728 --> 00:58:30,012 find out. Okay. Yes! Yes! I'm putting them in my pocket. Joseph, he's your son? Don't 338 00:58:30,112 --> 00:58:39,032 talk to me. Please. I can fly over and get him if it's okay. If you can stop what the 342 00:58:39,052 --> 00:58:42,4 crooks are doing. There's no way out of here, okay? There's always a way. I said 339 00:58:42,440 --> 00:59:02,192 don't talk to me! So what do you want me to do? Where's the cleaner? On the counter, 340 00:59:02,212 --> 00:59:07,139 where it always is. He's in your group, right? The, um... What's it called again? 341 00:59:07,540 --> 00:59:11,746 The Justice Gang. No. We're not called that. Yeah, your name is Mr. Terrific. You 342 00:59:11,766 --> 00:59:16,753 don't get a vote with a name like that. I also voted against it. Yes, and as leader, 343 00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:20,498 I get tiebreaker. No, Superman is not officially a member. Because you don't 344 00:59:20,518 --> 00:59:24,644 want him to vote. You know which way that would go. Shut up. He's kidding. So, how do 345 00:59:24,684 --> 00:59:31,470 you even know Superman anyway? I just do. So you know about the hypnoglasses? Now 346 00:59:31,490 --> 00:59:35,915 she does. Well, I'm not saying who he is, just that he wears hypnoglasses. They 347 00:59:35,955 --> 00:59:39,759 make his face terrific. How do they work? They make his face look different in your 348 00:59:39,819 --> 00:59:43,744 brain when he wears them, so that you know who he is. Yes, I know this, first of all. 349 00:59:43,764 --> 00:59:47,288 But second of all, you really shouldn't be telling me this in case I don't know who he 350 00:59:47,448 --> 00:59:53,254 is. So you know he's Clark Kent? Oh, my God. Why does he trust everyone? He doesn't. 351 00:59:53,374 --> 01:00:02,693 Just us, because we are also of the cloth. Of the cloth? What are we gonna do? About 352 01:00:02,773 --> 01:00:08,842 what? Superman! He's your friend! Some friend came here to rule over me? It would 353 01:00:08,862 --> 01:00:14,090 be difficult to find him. I put nanobot GPS trackers into Superman's bloodstream. 354 01:00:14,831 --> 01:00:18,497 You can see where his trail ends abruptly right here at Fort Kramer, a dormant 355 01:00:18,517 --> 01:00:21,982 military post across the river about ten miles down. Even if he was dead, those 356 01:00:22,042 --> 01:00:26,189 trackers would still be there. So, all this leads me to believe, as your article 357 01:00:26,409 --> 01:00:31,099 surmised, he really is in a pocket universe. You put nanobot GPS trackers in 358 01:00:31,119 --> 01:00:35,754 your friend's bloodstream? Oh, I do that to everybody. So, okay, come on. Let's go 359 01:00:35,794 --> 01:00:40,469 to Fort Kramer, then. The four of us, and find out what's going on. And then do what? 360 01:00:41,753 --> 01:00:47,518 Save him. You want to bring a federally incarcerated prisoner out of jail? Look, 361 01:00:47,558 --> 01:00:50,782 I think this is being done to keep him from interfering with the Boravian invasion. 362 01:00:50,802 --> 01:00:55,409 No, you look. I'm a Queen Lantern lady. That means I took a vow not to get involved 363 01:00:55,449 --> 01:01:00,155 in politics. Oh, that's part of the vow. It's implied. Yeah. An implied vow. Every 364 01:01:00,195 --> 01:01:02,699 time there's something he doesn't want to do, he says it's part of some vow. Oh, I 365 01:01:03,099 --> 01:01:06,684 swear to God, I'm two seconds away from forming a giant hammer and beating you 366 01:01:06,744 --> 01:01:12,223 both to death. And Soup's here to take over the world. I don't, probably not. But the 367 01:01:12,324 --> 01:01:16,314 risk is just not worth the beef between the US government and the Justice Gang. Not 368 01:01:16,354 --> 01:01:21,387 our name makes us sound like cowboys, but I agree with the rest. So you're just gonna 369 01:01:21,407 --> 01:01:38,869 let your friend rot in the pocket universe? That haircut should be against 370 01:01:38,910 --> 01:01:46,316 your vows. That what? That what should be what? I'll have you know, 348 chicks say 371 01:01:46,576 --> 01:02:01,630 otherwise. Hey. What? I'm not certainly going to say it, but I think we can at least 372 01:02:01,670 --> 01:02:05,173 check out what's going on with your boyfriend at the sport cram. He's not. 373 01:02:06,571 --> 01:02:36,438 We're just seeing each other. Thanks. You want me to drive? You have a flying saucer, 374 01:02:36,578 --> 01:02:43,065 but you couldn't get a faster garage door? I haven't worked on that yet. I'm not even 375 01:02:43,085 --> 01:02:50,313 sure how I feel, honestly. What? Jack Clark, he's not my boyfriend. We've 376 01:02:50,333 --> 01:02:52,596 actually just been seeing each other for a couple of months. Yeah, baby, just be 377 01:02:52,616 --> 01:02:57,842 clear. I'm not into people's emotions. Yeah, no, totally. I'm just thinking out 378 01:02:57,882 --> 01:03:02,647 loud. I was going to break up with him, actually. We had this huge fight, and he 379 01:03:02,667 --> 01:03:27,146 told me he loved me, and it just didn't Today we have a special guest. I'm 380 01:03:27,166 --> 01:03:31,952 familiar with him. And the smell of his piss as we flew across the desert. That is a 381 01:03:32,032 --> 01:03:42,294 lie! No, not the seal. He's just here as an observer. Now, the US government There's 382 01:03:42,314 --> 01:03:49,426 a few questions for you. Luther, I barely know him. He gave me food one time. Who are 383 01:03:49,466 --> 01:03:53,714 you working with here on Earth? I'm not working with anyone, Luther. Don't tell 384 01:03:53,934 --> 01:03:57,620 me nothing, Superman. I have no family or nothing. Luther, don't do this. You think 385 01:03:57,640 --> 01:04:05,615 my food was a great honor, Superman? No. Got lucky on that one. Don't do this. 390 01:04:06,076 --> 01:04:09,6 Please. Let's try another question, shall we, Superman? Don't do this. Who 386 01:04:09,681 --> 01:04:25,140 raised you as a child? I believe in you, Superman. Don't do this. I didn't imagine 387 01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:37,630 that would go so quickly. Mr. Hanson. I'll be back later with someone else you've 388 01:04:37,650 --> 01:04:43,058 chatted with and I'll kill them too. Maybe that reporter you always do interviews 389 01:04:43,078 --> 01:05:30,991 with. Maybe I'll kill Clark Kent next. No, no, no, no. This is a fricking area, Paul! 390 01:05:34,196 --> 01:05:42,863 Get back in your vehicle and get out of here! Let's go! Hey! Um... That's his 391 01:05:42,923 --> 01:05:47,972 path. DNA trail leads to that tent. Isn't that one of those justice guys? Just a 392 01:05:47,992 --> 01:07:15,921 smart one. Hey! You heard the man! I am giving you one last chance to talk! Holy 393 01:07:15,941 --> 01:07:21,308 shit. Unbelievable. That jackass did create a part of the universe. And that's 394 01:07:21,348 --> 01:07:26,854 just fat. When creating a part of the universe, if you are just one picometer 395 01:07:26,874 --> 01:07:32,066 off, you will have a black hole where Earth used to be. Every time you enter or exit, 396 01:07:32,086 --> 01:07:36,833 you risk tearing a hole in the fabric of reality. You're kidding. It's the type of 397 01:07:36,893 --> 01:07:41,941 reckless science Lex Luthor specializes in. What are they doing? They're trying to 398 01:07:41,961 --> 01:07:47,869 hack you. So I guess you decided to help. Only because it'll piss off Green 399 01:07:47,909 --> 01:08:10,608 Lantern. Thanks. You just killed that poor guy. No. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't 400 01:08:17,140 --> 01:08:58,210 do anything. She said you can get to my son, right? Yes. Why are you still 401 01:08:58,270 --> 01:09:07,001 gross-looking? I don't know. I felt it. It must be the sun. What are you talking 402 01:09:07,021 --> 01:09:12,488 about? What sun? There's no sun here. That's the problem. I need to heal. I get my 403 01:09:12,628 --> 01:09:54,468 powers from the yellow sun. Just give me a second. Whoa, an antiproton river. Do we 404 01:09:54,528 --> 01:10:00,879 repel? Repel? Where am I gonna get the gear to repel into a pocket universe? I don't 405 01:10:00,899 --> 01:10:05,247 know. Maybe it comes out of your circles or something. Circles? What? T-spheres. 406 01:10:05,868 --> 01:10:12,439 Okay. They're three-dimensional. Circles reflect. Sorry. Unbelievable. 407 01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:16,663 This place is filthy with black hole vortexes, and that anti-proton river 408 01:10:16,703 --> 01:10:25,871 will tear us apart in seconds. We cannot go in ourselves. Copy. I can't make a sun. I 409 01:10:25,911 --> 01:10:36,220 know. I can only make something kind of like a sun. What? Fine. Okay. We've got 410 01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:42,506 hydrogen, and deuterium, and we've got helium, and... What are you doing? Hey! 411 01:10:42,526 --> 01:10:52,309 Hey! No, no, no! Stop! You're gonna get all of us in trouble! What are you doing? Stop 412 01:10:52,329 --> 01:10:53,813 that! He's doing something in there! Guards! Guards! He's doing something! 413 01:10:53,833 --> 01:10:55,457 You are not going to take seriously the life of one of his officers! Go straight 414 01:10:55,477 --> 01:11:51,975 behind him, Marvin! Joey! You've saved him. I can't carry him when I change forms. 415 01:12:00,867 --> 01:12:02,409 Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! 416 01:12:02,429 --> 01:12:10,440 Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! 417 01:12:10,460 --> 01:12:16,055 Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Crypto! Portals 418 01:12:16,095 --> 01:12:25,935 been open too long. I can't stand it much longer I'm fine. I think we need to get to 419 01:12:25,955 --> 01:12:31,286 those portals up there. Oh, right. How do we work them? I don't know, but we'll 420 01:12:31,306 --> 01:13:19,678 figure it out What are you going to do? Splash us? Yes. With fluoroespionic 421 01:13:19,778 --> 01:15:42,739 acid. What? What? Come on, come on! Help us out! Bad boys! Man, you're so weird. Do you 422 01:15:42,799 --> 01:15:48,110 have them? Them? Superman, B-Dog and a caper, weird baby and a squibble man. 423 01:15:49,533 --> 01:16:44,448 What? Terrific. Don't touch me! Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Hey. Hey. You seem to get 424 01:16:44,468 --> 01:16:52,820 me. Yeah. There's more people being held prisoner in there. We gotta go get him. 425 01:16:53,942 --> 01:16:58,350 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not through here, you can't. Not with you like this. Clark, what 426 01:16:58,370 --> 01:17:04,722 the... It's kryptonite poisoning. He'll heal, but it'll take a day or two. Get him 427 01:17:04,742 --> 01:17:10,512 someplace safe. Take the T-Graft. The controls are easy and intuitive. I need to 428 01:17:10,532 --> 01:17:39,963 stay back here and make sure the portal is secure. Dog? Dog, I really need you to... 429 01:17:40,687 --> 01:18:22,493 No. Dog, I really need you to... Eve! Get out of here, you idiot! Move! How the hell 430 01:18:22,573 --> 01:18:40,039 could he have gotten free? We need to find him! Eve? Oh, I'm so done, Jimmy! Oh, um... 431 01:18:40,340 --> 01:18:45,267 I have everything you need to ruin Lex forever. What? Where? Oh, I have it over 432 01:18:45,307 --> 01:19:12,823 here. How dare he? But if I said you this, Jimmy, You have to promise me we get to hang 433 01:19:12,863 --> 01:19:30,991 this weekend. Just the two of us. Uh... Okay. Yeah? Okay, yay! Uh-huh. How, uh... 434 01:19:31,011 --> 01:19:37,520 How long? All weekend. All weekend?! Oh my God, Jeannie! I'm sorry this is such a 435 01:19:37,601 --> 01:19:42,161 major imposition on your life! No, it's not an imposition. I can tell you don't 436 01:19:42,181 --> 01:20:34,393 really think so. I'm Martha. This is John. I'm Marissa. Marissa. Here, son. My 437 01:20:34,413 --> 01:20:39,418 mother sent me here to rule over her. She sent me here to kill people. Clark. Daddy! 438 01:20:39,778 --> 01:21:15,979 Daddy! Is our boy gonna be okay? Yes. Mr. Triffick says yes. Don't mind him, Lois. 439 01:21:16,940 --> 01:22:08,961 He's just a big old mush. Especially when it comes to Clark. Mmm. is Your hot-axe is a 440 01:22:09,122 --> 01:22:17,235 genius. We need to talk to Perry. I'll be there as soon as I can, okay? Sending sexy 441 01:22:17,395 --> 01:22:23,024 selfies behind the back of Lex Luthor? She has to be the biggest idiot in the world. 442 01:22:23,044 --> 01:22:26,649 Lex, we just told you the portal was destroyed! The dimensional aperture is 443 01:22:26,810 --> 01:22:31,918 still there. We can open remotely so- It is not safe! We can close the aperture later 444 01:22:31,938 --> 01:22:37,902 by inputting the coordinates, correct? Theoretically. Great! If we can't find 445 01:22:38,002 --> 01:23:03,374 him, we'll need to draw him out. What's next? That will tear a dimensional rift 446 01:23:03,394 --> 01:23:12,255 into the surrounding area. There's something you think I don't know. No, you 447 01:23:12,295 --> 01:23:26,558 don't say. Can you stop it? Can I stop it? This is why you don't create a damn pocket 448 01:23:26,578 --> 01:23:33,830 universe. There. Superman won't be able to ignore that. Now we know where he'll be 449 01:23:33,890 --> 01:24:30,156 next. Thought you was out of here. Head on. Never seen you sleep that long. Last week, 450 01:24:30,176 --> 01:24:40,256 me, Paul, and then we took a draft beer case burritos down in the woods. Like the one 451 01:24:40,277 --> 01:24:47,203 that used to be out by that old blue barn out on that island. You remember that? 452 01:24:47,223 --> 01:25:00,214 Burritos still just as good. That's Blue Ann. She seems nice. She's Lois. Her 453 01:25:00,234 --> 01:25:10,313 name's Lois. Yeah, she's nice. But you don't take care of yourself. Yeah, well, 454 01:25:10,333 --> 01:25:14,337 that message that my parents sent with me, I had never heard the second half before. 455 01:25:15,278 --> 01:25:22,066 Well, I'd say what you wanted that message to mean says a whole lot more about you than 456 01:25:22,106 --> 01:25:31,637 what anyone meant for it to mean. You don't understand. I'm not who I thought I was. 457 01:25:37,355 --> 01:25:42,481 I'm here to hurt people. Parents aren't for telling their children who they're 458 01:25:42,501 --> 01:25:49,930 supposed to be. We are here to give y'all two. Help you make fools of yourselves, 459 01:25:50,390 --> 01:26:17,379 all on your own. Your choices, Clark. That's what makes you who you are. Tell you 460 01:26:17,399 --> 01:26:38,007 something, son. I couldn't be... ...more proud of you. Oh, Mosh. because something 461 01:26:38,027 --> 01:26:45,776 on the box came out on the scene. And over in Eastern Europe, Moravian troops gather 471 01:26:45,796 --> 01:26:49,9 at the border, seemingly mere minutes away from invading Jampur once again. 462 01:26:50,541 --> 01:26:54,926 Now, nearby villagers are willing and ready to defend their country despite the 463 01:26:55,006 --> 01:27:14,323 exponentially superior firepower of the well-trained Moravian military. The 464 01:27:14,363 --> 01:27:19,898 villagers cling on to what little hope they have left as they're surrounded by 465 01:27:19,918 --> 01:28:01,337 the military. Without Superman here to stop it this time, the General Koreans 466 01:28:02,018 --> 01:28:08,566 don't have much hope. I cleaned your boots. I'll go get them for you. Superman! 467 01:28:09,147 --> 01:28:13,032 We need you here in Metropolis, now! I have to get to Baravia, Terrific. There won't 468 01:28:13,052 --> 01:28:18,338 be a Baravia, or a Metropolis, or a planet Earth if you don't get here soon. This rift 469 01:28:18,358 --> 01:28:50,963 is about to tear into the city. I can't stop it. I need your help! All Metropolis 470 01:28:50,983 --> 01:28:52,345 citizens, this is a mandatory evacuation. Repeat, this evacuation is 471 01:28:52,365 --> 01:28:53,807 not optional. This is a mandatory evacuation. Repeat, this evacuation is 472 01:28:53,827 --> 01:28:56,358 not optional. This is a mandatory evacuation. We're all going to be scared. 473 01:28:57,520 --> 01:29:02,688 Come on, just put her on. Please, Lenina, can you put Persephone on the phone? Yes, 474 01:29:02,708 --> 01:29:05,873 she will, Karen. Can't you hear the sound of your voice? So, I'm thinking of 475 01:29:05,913 --> 01:29:09,638 connecting with our contact at Bode Bay. Luther's been selling arms to Gergos for 476 01:29:09,739 --> 01:29:16,128 pennies on the dollar for years. Why, you ask? I do ask why. He did it in exchange for 477 01:29:16,148 --> 01:29:20,615 half of Jarvan's book. You're kidding. At first, I thought he was just sending me 478 01:29:20,635 --> 01:29:25,765 selfies, but in the background of the shots are maps, contracts, all kinds of 479 01:29:25,785 --> 01:29:29,108 documents chronicling Beravia's agreement to cede half of the country to 480 01:29:29,128 --> 01:29:34,595 Lex Luthor once the invasion is complete. He wants to make himself king. King. King. 481 01:29:35,376 --> 01:29:39,681 Should we really still be standing here? Lewis, you got that flying saucer deal up 482 01:29:39,721 --> 01:29:45,067 on the roof? Yep. Grant, Drew, come on. Grab the board, Jimmy. How many does it 483 01:29:45,087 --> 01:29:52,012 hold? Uh, five or six. Six. Okay. Loveheart, you too. Why the hell would Lex 484 01:29:52,073 --> 01:29:55,053 want Half-Blood dead? His cultish acolytes believe he's going to create a 485 01:29:55,093 --> 01:29:59,212 technologically advanced utopia. Utopia? as a profit factor as well. I mean, 486 01:29:59,232 --> 01:30:02,798 the petroleum deposits alone are worth multiples of his investment. Whatever 487 01:30:02,858 --> 01:30:06,042 his motives are, we know Luthor did everything he could to ruin Superman's 488 01:30:06,062 --> 01:30:10,088 reputation. Eve's photos show he was behind the whole Hammer of Moravia scam. 489 01:30:10,108 --> 01:30:13,793 And all the bots stirring up anti-Superman sentiment online. Mr. 500 01:30:13,813 --> 01:30:18,1 Terrific believes Luthor's also behind the spreading rift between universes out 490 01:30:18,160 --> 01:30:21,344 there. All of it seems to be geared towards stopping Superman from standing in the 491 01:30:21,364 --> 01:30:32,982 way of the Moravian invasion chief. Call me Perry, kid. Post a story. Fast. Buckle 492 01:30:33,002 --> 01:30:49,972 up, kid! What did I ever see? Demi, will you transcribe? Uh-huh. Oh, God! The Daily 493 01:30:49,992 --> 01:30:52,276 Planet has obtained exclusive information proving that billionaire 494 01:30:52,416 --> 01:31:40,649 Lex Luthor is in league with Moravian dictator Vasyl Gorko. Shit! So slow it 495 01:31:40,689 --> 01:32:08,352 down I can't unless I can put the code in this is I'll hold on a minute then Oh Not 496 01:32:08,372 --> 01:33:12,577 sure where we're gonna land when the world is gone. code to close the rift, but it's 497 01:33:12,597 --> 01:33:17,012 too complicated to hack. Luthor will have the code at LuthorCorp. Just give me a 498 01:33:17,052 --> 01:33:21,809 minute, I'll get crypto and we'll go. Drop that dog, man! Yeah, I didn't want him 499 01:33:21,850 --> 01:33:46,663 killing my parents' cows. Godwine. Wrong. Focus on the engineer. On the alien 500 01:33:46,905 --> 01:35:29,421 now. 7R. Now, Angela, as planned, build his lungs and kill the son of a bitch. Can't 501 01:35:29,441 --> 01:35:34,971 he hold his breath for over an hour? Not without air in his lungs. He'll be dead in 502 01:35:34,991 --> 01:35:37,797 minutes. The nanites are suppressing his optic nerve. Sight and extra vision 503 01:35:37,817 --> 01:35:57,042 should be completely muted. Lungs breach. Yeah? We will not sleep in peace 504 01:35:57,062 --> 01:36:42,598 until the bullets are overloaded with blood! It's his game. Losing friction to 505 01:36:42,659 --> 01:36:46,224 get the nanites up? Doesn't matter if he gets them off his face. The nanites are 506 01:36:46,284 --> 01:36:56,579 still in his lungs. Engineer, Ultraman, keep up. We're trying! Maintain LOS. Yes, 507 01:36:56,599 --> 01:38:14,305 no shake out of it. Hurry! suffocate any minute. No, Angela! On Sheep! He's the 508 01:38:14,325 --> 01:38:43,328 only one protected! Entering the hull. Infrared plates? Switch to night vision. 509 01:39:06,511 --> 01:39:50,258 Her heart's still beating, but she's unconscious. Call in the Raptors. That's 510 01:39:50,399 --> 01:39:55,346 right. Cloning you was relatively simple. All it took was combing the 511 01:39:55,426 --> 01:39:59,613 aftermath of your battles until I located a strand of your hair. That's how you got 512 01:39:59,633 --> 01:40:06,223 into the fortress. You had my DNA. Yes, but as is often the case with cloning, the 513 01:40:06,283 --> 01:40:11,471 match was imperfect. He might be even stupider than you, if that's possible. 514 01:40:12,052 --> 01:40:35,271 But easier to control. Three times stronger. We will always win! Reign beats 515 01:40:35,291 --> 01:41:43,195 Brawl! No matter what you do to me, Luthor, your plans in Borevia won't work. Oh, 516 01:41:43,215 --> 01:41:50,822 really? Why is that? Because I called in some friends. Mr. Luthor, there is an 517 01:41:50,942 --> 01:42:09,676 anomaly at the border. Sorry, kid. Your man couldn't make it. You got an upgrade. 518 01:42:37,263 --> 01:43:11,689 No, no, no! I know you won't kill me. You are too delicate to be like Superman. I'm not 519 01:43:11,769 --> 01:43:30,196 like Superman. It's perfect. Post it, kid. On it. I think you overestimate the 520 01:43:30,256 --> 01:43:36,405 importance of Jarhead for me, Superman. That was just a bonus. I'm not killing you 521 01:43:36,706 --> 01:43:43,915 so the Barabian military conflict can proceed. I created the Barabian military 522 01:43:44,036 --> 01:43:52,006 conflict so I'd have an excuse to kill you. Once you involved yourself, I knew I could 523 01:43:52,086 --> 01:43:57,714 easily get our government's support in nullifying you. Why? Because you're 524 01:43:57,754 --> 01:44:24,815 destroying us! 10-line, 13-B. You're driven by envy, loser. You couldn't be 525 01:44:24,875 --> 01:44:30,697 more obvious. No shit. I'm not dim. I'm aware envy consumes my every waking 526 01:44:30,757 --> 01:44:39,546 moment. 13L. When they mention Galileo Einstein or one of these other twits in the 527 01:44:39,586 --> 01:44:43,434 same breath as me, I feel a tide of vomit burn the back of my throat. But at least 528 01:44:43,474 --> 01:44:47,642 Galileo did something. He wasn't some dopey Venusian catapulted onto this 529 01:44:47,702 --> 01:44:53,673 planet just to have the world fawn over him because his strength illuminates how 530 01:44:53,974 --> 01:45:06,859 weak we all really are. So my envy is a calling. It is the sole hope for humanity 531 01:45:06,919 --> 01:45:30,772 because it is what has driven me to annihilate you. Oh, what are you smirking 532 01:45:30,993 --> 01:46:13,747 at, you idiot? Brain beats brawn. Watch him through those. Tell him what to do. 533 01:46:13,767 --> 01:46:47,636 Crypto! Get the toy. There he is! Come on, stupid dog! Calm down! Hotel down! Hotel 534 01:46:47,736 --> 01:47:27,621 down! Bravo down! Bravo down! I just said that! The Raptors have arrived. Kill him! 535 01:47:27,641 --> 01:48:40,121 Good luck with that. This ain't playtime! Quit messing around! We have to get the 536 01:48:40,141 --> 01:48:46,392 Luthor to stop the rift! I'm not messing around. I'm doing important stuff. It's 537 01:48:46,412 --> 01:49:08,986 gonna reach the Baker line any minute. There are people there. We're closing the 538 01:49:09,006 --> 01:49:14,035 friggin' bridge. No, they chose him! Let them die! We'll close it from the bunker 539 01:49:14,135 --> 01:49:27,417 before it gets to the city I care about. Open the port! Grab it all. Let's go. 540 01:49:27,437 --> 01:49:46,187 Safety first, people. I hope that Wolf Riff is in here. I can help. I will need your 541 01:49:46,227 --> 01:49:55,936 help. Goddamn, this is terrific. You piece of shit alien! That is where you've 542 01:49:56,016 --> 01:50:03,442 always been wrong about me, Lex. I'm as human as anyone. I love, I get scared, I 543 01:50:03,463 --> 01:50:07,146 wake up every morning and despite not knowing what to do, I put one foot in front 544 01:50:07,166 --> 01:50:12,379 of the other and I try to make the best choices I can. I screw up all the time. But 545 01:50:12,439 --> 01:50:21,153 that is being human. And that's my greatest strength. And someday, I hope, 546 01:50:21,273 --> 01:50:26,160 for the sake of the world, you understand that it's yours too. Oh, that's 547 01:50:26,801 --> 01:50:32,049 beautiful. But none of this matters, you patronizing clown. The government gave 548 01:50:32,129 --> 01:51:37,806 me the authority to kill you. If not today, then... Lex. What? Well, this just in, an 549 01:51:37,826 --> 01:51:42,231 absolute bombshell from the Daily Planet. Billionaire Lex Luthor aligning 550 01:51:42,291 --> 01:51:46,397 himself with a foreign entity, believe it or not. Luthor has been giving them 551 01:51:46,597 --> 01:51:50,542 billions and billions of dollars worth of free weapons. Lex Luthor has been working 552 01:51:50,582 --> 01:51:54,827 covertly with Basile Gurkos and the Moravian government to overthrow the 553 01:51:54,888 --> 01:52:02,282 country of Jarhan IV. We've had Luthor on this show many times. Little did we know he 554 01:52:02,542 --> 01:52:22,219 was a traitor. We all owe him an enormous apology. He is, of course, the hero we 555 01:52:22,320 --> 01:53:08,220 always thought he was. That was sick. Guys, maybe you should join the group. 556 01:53:08,241 --> 01:53:12,605 Please. I mean, no offense, but that creepy mug is what you want to represent 557 01:53:12,625 --> 01:53:27,462 the Justice Gang? Justice Gang? That's a cool name. We're in. Glad you're not 558 01:53:27,662 --> 01:53:31,606 concerned about the Medicains, Rick. Because now they're the ones making the 559 01:53:31,667 --> 01:54:52,474 rules. Get his balls out of the belt, Reed! Now we can be together forever. Miss Lane. 560 01:54:56,018 --> 01:55:01,144 Oh, hi. I thought I might give you an interview. I could fill you in on all the 561 01:55:01,285 --> 01:55:12,644 behind the scenes. Sure. I think that would be great. How about over here? for an 562 01:55:12,686 --> 01:56:21,859 interview. I love you too. How long have they been hooking up? About three months, 563 01:56:21,879 --> 01:56:30,910 I think. Got this place cleaned up pretty good. Cleaned yourself up pretty good, 564 01:56:30,930 --> 01:56:37,017 too. You think so? Yeah. I think it gives you character. Maybe one day you'll give 565 01:56:37,057 --> 01:56:53,565 me a name. Well, Thor's a name. So is Gary. Sir, I think your cousin has returned. Why 566 01:56:56,960 --> 01:57:33,632 did you move the door I didn't move the door where's my dog? Come on. Thanks for 567 01:57:33,652 --> 01:57:37,257 watching him, bitch. She likes to go and party on other planets. Planets with red 568 01:57:37,277 --> 01:57:41,863 suns. Oh. Because of her metabolism, she can't get drunk on a planet with a yellow 569 01:57:41,883 --> 01:57:46,489 sun. If I had any emotional capacity whatsoever, I'd be concerned about her 570 01:57:46,510 --> 01:57:52,217 partying. Yeah. Superman, would you like to see the footage of your parents? He 571 01:57:52,317 --> 01:58:48,406 finds it soothing. Oh. Yeah, Gary. That'd be nice. Why should you stop? 68858

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