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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,345 --> 00:00:04,248 [DRONING SOUND] 2 00:00:06,084 --> 00:00:09,285 [OMINOUS TONE] 3 00:00:10,353 --> 00:00:13,356 [DRAMATIC ORCHESTRA] 4 00:00:13,358 --> 00:00:15,482 Subtitles by explosiveskull 5 00:00:18,028 --> 00:00:21,496 NARRATOR: The battle was all but over. 6 00:00:21,498 --> 00:00:23,631 The forces of good, the living 7 00:00:23,633 --> 00:00:26,767 had fallen by the thousands. 8 00:00:26,769 --> 00:00:30,904 The risen dead swept over them in a vile, 9 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:35,942 and cankerous wave that knew not when to break. 10 00:00:35,944 --> 00:00:39,379 But as long as their fearless leader, 11 00:00:39,381 --> 00:00:42,815 the mighty Casimir the Destroyer, 12 00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:47,486 battle mage, warrior, and renowned tactician 13 00:00:47,488 --> 00:00:50,122 still drew breath, 14 00:00:50,124 --> 00:00:53,926 there was yet some hope. 15 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:58,562 And as the horde of hell's spawn dead, 16 00:00:58,564 --> 00:01:01,866 raised by the evil necromancer. 17 00:01:01,868 --> 00:01:05,937 Morana, grew closer, unwittingly lured 18 00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:07,972 into a fatal pincer movement, 19 00:01:07,974 --> 00:01:12,910 through the otherwise impassable sulphur swamps of Sagra, 20 00:01:12,912 --> 00:01:17,915 Casimir knew he had them in the palm of his hand. 21 00:01:17,917 --> 00:01:20,650 Knew that a historic victory 22 00:01:20,652 --> 00:01:24,154 was but a single blow away. 23 00:01:24,156 --> 00:01:26,923 There was no escaping the fury 24 00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:30,559 of Casimir's blazing damnation. 25 00:01:30,561 --> 00:01:35,164 The magically conjured flames burned hard and fast 26 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:38,869 devouring the undead in a matter of seconds. 27 00:01:40,704 --> 00:01:44,171 And for the first of many times to come, 28 00:01:44,173 --> 00:01:47,708 Casimir looked down triumphant 29 00:01:47,710 --> 00:01:50,010 upon the carnage he had wrought. 30 00:01:50,012 --> 00:01:54,181 Upon the victory he had single-handedly wretched 31 00:01:54,183 --> 00:01:59,086 from the rotten jaws of almost certain defeat. 32 00:01:59,088 --> 00:02:02,090 [CROWD CHEERING SOUND] 33 00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:06,995 [DRONING SOUND] 34 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,401 [EPIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 35 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,611 [MUSIC SOUND LEVELS DROP] 36 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,616 [TRAIN RIDING ON TRACKS SOUND] 37 00:02:31,118 --> 00:02:33,950 [TRAIN WHISTLE SOUND] 38 00:02:33,952 --> 00:02:38,088 TREVOR: Casimir would not rest until his nemesis Morana had fallen. 39 00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:40,159 [DOOR CLOSING SOUND] 40 00:02:40,926 --> 00:02:44,928 Along with her scurrilous lapdog of a so-called swordsman, 41 00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:46,932 Sir Brandt. 42 00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,436 Fuck sake. 43 00:02:53,938 --> 00:02:56,605 Oh! Mr. Parsons. 44 00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:59,742 PARSONS: Afternoon. Trevor isn't it? 45 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,612 Last time I checked! 46 00:03:03,047 --> 00:03:05,246 Right. I've been meaning to have a word. 47 00:03:05,248 --> 00:03:07,951 See the thing is that some of us here. 48 00:03:11,487 --> 00:03:12,488 Sorry! 49 00:03:14,157 --> 00:03:18,259 Fundamentally, some of us here. 50 00:03:18,261 --> 00:03:21,261 W-we take pride. 51 00:03:21,263 --> 00:03:23,797 I'm not sure how to- 52 00:03:23,799 --> 00:03:25,866 your plot's a disgrace. 53 00:03:25,868 --> 00:03:28,801 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 54 00:03:28,803 --> 00:03:30,670 Well, it's a little on the barren side but 55 00:03:30,672 --> 00:03:32,605 it's got some post-apocalyptic charm. 56 00:03:32,607 --> 00:03:33,739 Clearly. 57 00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:36,008 Disgrace is a very strong word. 58 00:03:36,010 --> 00:03:39,911 But it's accurate. Look around you. 59 00:03:39,913 --> 00:03:43,915 Do you see anything out of place in my plot? No, nothing. 60 00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:44,983 It's beauty. 61 00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:48,687 Ted and Irene may be slow, but they're methodical. 62 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:50,822 Even Birch keeps his end up. 63 00:03:50,824 --> 00:03:53,624 Peter, almost as annoying as you are, 64 00:03:53,626 --> 00:03:55,859 but at least he knows what he's doing. 65 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,762 And Doc doesn't do anything at all, but he's tidy. 66 00:03:58,764 --> 00:04:00,731 Now you, on the other hand, 67 00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:03,300 you are more than letting the side down. 68 00:04:03,302 --> 00:04:05,636 To be honest gardening isn't really my thing. 69 00:04:05,638 --> 00:04:08,237 Jesus Christ! Why do you have an allotment then? 70 00:04:08,239 --> 00:04:11,007 Why do you come here and spoil it for the rest of us? 71 00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,675 I'd be willing to put up a fence. 72 00:04:12,677 --> 00:04:15,680 Look, we've gotten together and signed a petition. 73 00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,750 We're giving it to the landlord tomorrow morning. 74 00:04:20,752 --> 00:04:24,953 And I sincerely hope he decides to evict you, 75 00:04:24,955 --> 00:04:26,687 and your terrible hair-do. Good day! 76 00:04:26,689 --> 00:04:29,557 What? No! No, no, no, no, no, no! I'll tidy up. 77 00:04:29,559 --> 00:04:33,063 I'll, I'll plant some seeds! I'll, I'll, plant the crap fu... 78 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:36,934 God. 79 00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:43,239 [FLY BUZZING SOUND] 80 00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:49,611 Oh! 81 00:05:01,922 --> 00:05:03,257 Oooh! 82 00:05:10,598 --> 00:05:12,330 Woo! 83 00:05:12,332 --> 00:05:15,535 [ROCK MUSIC BEGINS ABRUPTLY] 84 00:05:29,381 --> 00:05:32,583 [ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES] 85 00:05:40,959 --> 00:05:42,961 [ELEVATOR BELL SOUND] 86 00:05:55,639 --> 00:05:58,642 [RAT SQUEAKING SOUND] 87 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,222 BOBBI: Harriet, why don't you come round to mine after work? 88 00:06:15,224 --> 00:06:16,956 I've got some pear vodka. 89 00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:18,791 HARRIET: Oh, yes, please! 90 00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:21,327 Funny innit like, us sitting here doing nothing, 91 00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:24,964 makes you more tired than when you're busy, eh? 92 00:06:24,966 --> 00:06:26,899 You're not wrong Bobbi. 93 00:06:26,901 --> 00:06:30,002 It's a bit like shagging, if you think about it. 94 00:06:30,004 --> 00:06:32,304 The more you do it, the more you want it. 95 00:06:32,306 --> 00:06:35,309 It only makes you more horny. It's really annoying. 96 00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:38,178 I wouldn't know. 97 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,679 When are you going to be done? 98 00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:45,817 Oh, it's just my Derek now. A little quick half hour. 99 00:06:45,819 --> 00:06:49,019 But I'll do him quick today, yeah? 100 00:06:49,021 --> 00:06:51,021 [DOOR BELL SOUNDS] 101 00:06:51,023 --> 00:06:53,424 DEREK: There she blows. 102 00:06:53,426 --> 00:06:55,128 HARRIET: Hi darling! 103 00:06:56,895 --> 00:07:01,332 Aww, I love presents. Thank you. 104 00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:03,300 Do you want a little shower? 105 00:07:03,302 --> 00:07:07,069 - I'm clean as a whistle. - Mmm. 106 00:07:07,071 --> 00:07:10,373 Well, I'll have to blow you to find out won't I? 107 00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:11,376 Yes! 108 00:07:14,178 --> 00:07:15,179 Hmm. 109 00:07:18,048 --> 00:07:20,315 [DOG BARKING SOUNDS] 110 00:07:20,317 --> 00:07:21,851 DOC: Trevor? 111 00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:25,422 Doc! 112 00:07:27,056 --> 00:07:29,959 I didn t sign the petition by the way. 113 00:07:31,895 --> 00:07:33,861 Thanks. 114 00:07:33,863 --> 00:07:38,265 My motto is, "Live and let live". 115 00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:39,801 I appreciate that. 116 00:07:44,373 --> 00:07:47,176 [OMINOUS MUSIC] 117 00:07:51,246 --> 00:07:53,179 Don't come in here asking where your dinner is. 118 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:56,182 While you've been flouncing around at your allotment, 119 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,784 I've been at work all day. So, no. I haven't cooked yet. 120 00:07:59,786 --> 00:08:04,756 Oh, hi Trev! Nice T-shirt! Mmm. 121 00:08:04,758 --> 00:08:05,823 [INHALING SOUND] 122 00:08:05,825 --> 00:08:09,260 Trevor! I didn't say I was hungry. 123 00:08:09,262 --> 00:08:11,028 I heard you think it. 124 00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,032 No, well, we left you some. 125 00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,034 Thanks. 126 00:08:17,036 --> 00:08:19,038 That's very generous of you! 127 00:08:20,973 --> 00:08:23,773 I'm the one bringing the money in while you're indulging 128 00:08:23,775 --> 00:08:26,310 in some pathetic male fantasy. 129 00:08:26,312 --> 00:08:29,379 Well, as Harriet can attest, it is possible to do both. 130 00:08:29,381 --> 00:08:31,481 You know, maybe you should just embrace the dual nature of your 131 00:08:31,483 --> 00:08:33,950 business, and call the salon, "Hand Job". 132 00:08:33,952 --> 00:08:36,219 Oooh! You're looking very pretty today Harriet. 133 00:08:36,221 --> 00:08:38,154 Would you mind if I, umm? 134 00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:40,388 [CAMERA SHUTTER SOUND] 135 00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:43,124 I'm going off to Graham's. Help me, God! 136 00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,794 [DOOR OPENING AND SLAMMING SHUT SOUNDS] 137 00:08:45,796 --> 00:08:50,098 He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, is he, your husband? 138 00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:53,103 [BATTLEFIELD SOUNDS] 139 00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:58,908 [INDISCERNIBLE YELLING] 140 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,146 GRAHAM: Yeah, well, you know what I think? 141 00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:08,482 I think you should unleash some of that old 142 00:09:08,484 --> 00:09:10,251 Casimir vengeance on him. 143 00:09:10,253 --> 00:09:12,151 Graham, I'm not going to kill someone 144 00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,387 for trying to evict me from my bloody allotment. 145 00:09:14,389 --> 00:09:17,357 Or you could get that guy you think's a serial killer to 146 00:09:17,359 --> 00:09:19,492 dissolve him in a vat of acid or something. 147 00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:22,027 I didn't say he was a serial killer. I said he was creepy, 148 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,929 and it's weird his plot is bare earth. 149 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,599 Or maybe you could put pesticide in his Horlicks, 150 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:29,834 dress him up as a scarecrow, and hide him in plain sight? 151 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,604 What is wrong with you? I'm not going to kill anyone. 152 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,205 Yeah, well you weren't this squeamish when you were 153 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:37,208 fire-bombing my zombies earlier. 154 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,412 You really have no grip on the real world do you? 155 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:43,116 Well I guess you could learn how to garden. 156 00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,289 Oh, I got that picture of Harriet you wanted. 157 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:53,490 But this is the last time, alright? 158 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:56,192 Everybody's starting to think I'm a weirdo. 159 00:09:56,194 --> 00:10:00,195 My sweet Lady Harriet Morana. 160 00:10:00,197 --> 00:10:04,266 Sir Brandt at your service! 161 00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:07,336 I can't believe you're basing Morana on her. 162 00:10:07,338 --> 00:10:10,406 Oh, yes! She's fit! 163 00:10:10,408 --> 00:10:13,575 Plus, Sir Brandt gets to bed her! 164 00:10:13,577 --> 00:10:16,411 Only because no one else in her army has a pulse. 165 00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:19,514 Yes, she has a whole legion of skeletons at her command, 166 00:10:19,516 --> 00:10:21,915 yet it is I, Sir Brandt, 167 00:10:21,917 --> 00:10:24,452 who gets to bone her! Haha. 168 00:10:24,454 --> 00:10:26,521 You know, there are far hotter women on the internet, 169 00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:27,921 some wearing a lot less? 170 00:10:27,923 --> 00:10:29,290 Arrrgh, aargh, no, no, no, no, n... 171 00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:31,225 What is your problem with the internet? 172 00:10:31,227 --> 00:10:33,460 Online Gamers. 173 00:10:33,462 --> 00:10:37,364 Heathens. Heathens, man! 174 00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:40,334 Oh, go on, send me that picture would you?! 175 00:10:40,336 --> 00:10:42,068 I don't even know why you have a mobile phone. 176 00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,537 You never bloody leave the house! 177 00:10:43,539 --> 00:10:46,406 Hey, don't knock my Agoraphobia. 178 00:10:46,408 --> 00:10:50,175 Plus, I need a way to get my DLA you know. My er... 179 00:10:50,177 --> 00:10:52,977 Dragon Living Allowance. Yes, very good. 180 00:10:52,979 --> 00:10:54,446 Why can't I have a dragon? 181 00:10:54,448 --> 00:10:57,150 Well, firstly Morana is a necromancer. 182 00:10:58,352 --> 00:11:01,453 Well, why can't I have an undead dragon? 183 00:11:01,455 --> 00:11:04,288 - Sending. - No, no, wait! Wait! 184 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,623 - Ahhh! - Ahahaha. 185 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,058 TREVOR: Whoops! 186 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:09,161 You cheat! 187 00:11:10,162 --> 00:11:12,296 When they're down, they're down! 188 00:11:12,298 --> 00:11:14,298 Shouldn't leave your phone on the battlefield! 189 00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,433 [OMINOUS TONE] Curse you Casimir! 190 00:11:16,435 --> 00:11:20,503 The dead shall rise, and tear your world asunder! 191 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,638 Tell that to a couple of D8's. 192 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,173 Boom! 193 00:11:24,175 --> 00:11:27,178 [OMINOUS MUSICAL BUILD UP] 194 00:11:28,546 --> 00:11:30,548 ZOMBIE: Arrrggh. 195 00:11:39,956 --> 00:11:41,458 Arrrgh. 196 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,127 [CLOSING DOOR SOUND] 197 00:11:46,129 --> 00:11:48,131 [APPROACHING FOOTSTEP SOUNDS] 198 00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:54,069 [SNORING SOUNDS] 199 00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:00,409 Bobbi? 200 00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:10,482 Ssstupid, bloody whale. 201 00:12:10,484 --> 00:12:13,252 Bobbi, d... 202 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,956 [FARTING SOUNDS] 203 00:12:17,291 --> 00:12:18,993 I'll be on the sofa. 204 00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:26,664 [BIRDS CHIRPING] [TRUMPET INTRO MUSIC] 205 00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:28,533 DAVE-RADIO HOST: Hello and welcome back. Ah, 206 00:12:28,535 --> 00:12:29,767 Right, coming up 'you are what you eat' 207 00:12:29,769 --> 00:12:34,138 we look at the pitfalls and benefits of a protein only diet. 208 00:12:34,140 --> 00:12:37,208 But first, Dick. What do we make of this macabre business? 209 00:12:37,210 --> 00:12:39,243 DICK: Oh ho. Just in case you're tuning in for the first time 210 00:12:39,245 --> 00:12:41,144 folks, what Dave is referring to is the apparent 211 00:12:41,146 --> 00:12:43,012 grave robbing in Nunhead cemetery. 212 00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:45,482 DAVE: Hahaha. I think, I think grave robbing is a bit strong... 213 00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:47,350 DICK: No, no, no. We-well, what would you call it then? 214 00:12:47,352 --> 00:12:49,519 DAVE: Ahh-uhh, prrff, Halloween pranks? 215 00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,488 DICK: Haha, Well it's not like the corpses just got up and 216 00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:52,722 walked off is it? Hahaha! 217 00:12:52,724 --> 00:12:55,090 DAVE: Hahaha I'd like to see! 218 00:12:55,092 --> 00:12:58,561 DICK: So Dave, what's in store for us today in terms of the weather? 219 00:12:58,563 --> 00:13:01,129 DAVE: Well Dick, it's a proper Autumnal day out there today, 220 00:13:01,131 --> 00:13:04,600 but you can expect a lot of heavy low lying fog tonight. 221 00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:06,669 So, do be careful if you're out and about. 222 00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:09,137 BOBBI: Trevor? 223 00:13:09,139 --> 00:13:10,140 Trevor! 224 00:13:11,575 --> 00:13:14,276 Trevor you planning on sleeping all day?! 225 00:13:15,745 --> 00:13:18,245 - TREVOR!? - Whaa! 226 00:13:18,247 --> 00:13:20,447 Ow! What, Jesus? 227 00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:21,648 Just because you're between jobs, 228 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:23,450 doesn't mean you can lay around doing fuck all every day! 229 00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:25,185 You should be out looking for a job! 230 00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:27,087 And pick your dirty clothes up from the floor. 231 00:13:27,089 --> 00:13:28,221 Is that for me? 232 00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:29,422 No, you make your own. 233 00:13:29,424 --> 00:13:31,457 And your dad's golf clubs are over there, so take 'em to the 234 00:13:31,459 --> 00:13:33,292 charity shop because it's not like you play, is it? 235 00:13:33,294 --> 00:13:34,660 I might have to start. 236 00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:35,695 You know what Trevor, 237 00:13:35,697 --> 00:13:38,666 you know better than to fucking argue with me! 238 00:13:40,101 --> 00:13:42,103 - Pfftt. - Oh! 239 00:13:46,707 --> 00:13:49,241 God, I swear you only started smoking to aggravate my asthma! 240 00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:52,377 You ungrateful sod! I'm doing it to lose weight, for you! 241 00:13:52,379 --> 00:13:54,144 Yeah, is that why you didn t eat all the extra large 242 00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:55,112 pizza as well? 243 00:13:55,114 --> 00:13:57,649 Do you know what Trevor? I'm going to work. 244 00:13:57,651 --> 00:14:01,219 You know, remember work?! You fucking lazy sod! 245 00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:08,124 Ahhh! Fuck. 246 00:14:08,126 --> 00:14:10,427 [SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA] Oh, Christ. 247 00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:12,128 Kill me! 248 00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:14,130 Come on, boy! 249 00:14:14,132 --> 00:14:17,534 DEREK: I am a very, very bad horse. 250 00:14:17,536 --> 00:14:20,737 Horses don't talk! 251 00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:22,538 Quiet! 252 00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:25,675 Horses just buck! 253 00:14:25,677 --> 00:14:26,676 [HORSE WHINNY SOUND] 254 00:14:26,678 --> 00:14:28,410 Stop. 255 00:14:28,412 --> 00:14:30,479 [INTENSE CLASSICAL MUSIC] 256 00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:31,479 Haha! 257 00:14:31,481 --> 00:14:34,183 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 258 00:14:35,118 --> 00:14:38,121 [HORSE SOUNDS] 259 00:14:44,294 --> 00:14:46,663 Giddy up! 260 00:14:49,231 --> 00:14:52,699 Come on! Oh, woah! Derek? 261 00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:54,901 Dereeeek? 262 00:14:54,903 --> 00:14:57,104 Come on. T-t-t-t-t. 263 00:14:58,707 --> 00:14:59,708 To-oot? 264 00:15:01,175 --> 00:15:02,678 Darling? 265 00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:07,178 Remember the safe word! 266 00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,314 [HORSE NICKER SOUND] 267 00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:11,684 HARRIET: Well, that's not it! Come on, it's banana. 268 00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:13,852 Derek? 269 00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:15,186 DEREK? 270 00:15:15,188 --> 00:15:17,322 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 271 00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:19,757 TREVOR: [INDISTINCT] Dark cow! 272 00:15:19,759 --> 00:15:22,527 Oh, yeah. I gave you some pizza! 273 00:15:22,529 --> 00:15:24,361 Stupid bloody friend. 274 00:15:24,363 --> 00:15:28,600 Little ho. Little pfft. Fucking stupid! Gosh, she's such a lit... 275 00:15:28,602 --> 00:15:31,568 Bloody wha... I'm stupid. Must have she grab my cock in the 276 00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:33,303 night club. Next thing I know, 277 00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:35,638 I'm bloody married to her for life. 278 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,342 Poor Derek! 279 00:15:38,242 --> 00:15:40,543 All he wanted was an early morning ride, wasn't it? 280 00:15:40,545 --> 00:15:44,313 It's alright. Go on. 281 00:15:44,315 --> 00:15:46,215 Well, you know, he wanted to play his favorite game, 282 00:15:46,217 --> 00:15:47,650 you know, that. 283 00:15:47,652 --> 00:15:49,819 Horsey play. 284 00:15:49,821 --> 00:15:52,754 He loved that! 285 00:15:52,756 --> 00:15:55,890 No, but I just kept on really pushing it, and saying, 286 00:15:55,892 --> 00:15:58,893 "giddy up, giddy up, faster" spanking his ass! 287 00:15:58,895 --> 00:16:01,296 And I was getting really into it, and- 288 00:16:01,298 --> 00:16:05,900 It just uh, it got too much for him. And he collapsed on me. 289 00:16:05,902 --> 00:16:07,101 Oh, he didn't?! 290 00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:09,236 And there was nothing I could do, and I was saying, "Say the 291 00:16:09,238 --> 00:16:11,772 safe word, say the safe word". 292 00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:13,874 And he didn't. He just kept on going, " Pfffft" 293 00:16:13,876 --> 00:16:16,644 And I forgot, he's got such a delicate little heart. 294 00:16:16,646 --> 00:16:17,845 Oh, his little heart! 295 00:16:17,847 --> 00:16:19,245 And that's why I really liked him, 296 00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:21,717 cause he was actually a real gent. 297 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,819 Poor Derek. 298 00:16:26,821 --> 00:16:29,354 Oh, God. 299 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,593 Oh, Bobbi. Oh, do you know what? 300 00:16:33,595 --> 00:16:35,597 He's still wearing my buttplug. 301 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,767 He is. He's still wearing my buttplug. They're gonna find 302 00:16:41,769 --> 00:16:43,802 my buttplug up there. That's not dignified. 303 00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,269 He wouldn't have want that. 304 00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,304 Nope. Nope. 305 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:48,641 That's awkward. 306 00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:51,742 Stupid cow. 307 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,311 Stupid. I might as well just put a bloody bed in here 308 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:55,578 and be done with it. 309 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:57,315 [INDISCERNIBLE] ...Bloody. 310 00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:02,320 Parsons! 311 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,922 What? 312 00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,758 Is it true? Are you distilling vodka? 313 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:09,626 What's it to you? 314 00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:11,827 What's it to me, you little cock head?! 315 00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:13,529 Not that you'd be affected by it, 316 00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:15,397 but a number of us had our potato crops 317 00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:16,665 plundered last year. 318 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,967 - Aww! - And I'd be willing to bet 319 00:17:18,969 --> 00:17:21,637 that if you are indeed distilling vodka, 320 00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:23,872 then you're probably the plunderer. 321 00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:26,809 Hahahaha. I'm the potato plunderer? 322 00:17:26,811 --> 00:17:29,309 Me? Whose allotment looks like a pile of shit?! 323 00:17:29,311 --> 00:17:31,779 Do you think I could be bothered to dig up potatoes? 324 00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:33,881 Look at my hands. Look how clean they are. 325 00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:35,983 You think I could be bothered to muddy them up to get your 326 00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:39,519 dirty ass potatoes because this is a little bit of "newsflash", 327 00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:41,689 they're available in a fucking supermarket, 328 00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:43,657 and they're a pound! But then you probably didn't know that 329 00:17:43,659 --> 00:17:46,358 did you? You bloody wanna be English moron. 330 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,527 You watch your tone, you little twat! 331 00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:50,596 Twat?! Hahahaha. 332 00:17:50,598 --> 00:17:52,465 Twoa! Twat! What are you gonna do now? 333 00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:54,500 Bludgeon me with that spade? Give it to me! 334 00:17:54,502 --> 00:17:56,302 'Cause if there's gonna be any bludgeoning happening today, 335 00:17:56,304 --> 00:17:57,770 I will not be on the receiving end! 336 00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:58,671 You are mad! 337 00:17:58,673 --> 00:18:01,372 You don't know the fucking half of it! 338 00:18:01,374 --> 00:18:03,808 Yeah, run! Run little American boy! 339 00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:06,578 It's pronounced, "twot" You bloody American! 340 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,446 I'm Canadian! 341 00:18:08,448 --> 00:18:09,950 [STABBING SOUND] 342 00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:16,722 Mr. Parsons? Mr. Parsons? 343 00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:21,425 Mr. Parsons?! 344 00:18:21,427 --> 00:18:24,695 [THRILLING MUSIC] 345 00:18:24,697 --> 00:18:27,331 [REMOVING ADHESIVE SOUND] 346 00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:28,799 Bobbi! Bobbi, something terrible has happened! 347 00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:29,933 Get out! 348 00:18:29,935 --> 00:18:31,934 What the hell are you doing? 349 00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,369 - What are y... - Go away! 350 00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:36,407 Oh! Oh! Oh! God! Oh! 351 00:18:36,975 --> 00:18:39,407 Well, on that note, I don t think he'll be coming back! 352 00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:42,845 [SLAMMING DOOR SOUND] Mm mmm. Oooh, that's nice! 353 00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,480 For a moment, I actually felt like Casimir! 354 00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:48,083 I was like moving towards him, and he was like, stepping back. 355 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:52,386 I could see the fear in his eyes. It was... 356 00:18:52,388 --> 00:18:56,892 - What? - What is that, on your shoulder? 357 00:18:56,894 --> 00:19:00,095 Oooh! Oh, God! Christ! 358 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:04,299 Oh, God. Bobbi was giving Harriet a wax on her lady bits. 359 00:19:04,766 --> 00:19:06,599 - Hand it over! - What? 360 00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:07,767 - Give it. - No! 361 00:19:07,769 --> 00:19:09,636 - Yes. Yes! - No. 362 00:19:09,638 --> 00:19:11,138 No way! 363 00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:12,639 - Come on, now. - That's sick man. 364 00:19:12,641 --> 00:19:13,773 I'm not doing it. 365 00:19:13,775 --> 00:19:16,778 I'll give you one sword of Chronos. 366 00:19:18,713 --> 00:19:21,513 Sword of Chronos and an extra D8 on my combat roles? 367 00:19:21,515 --> 00:19:24,018 Ahhh, D4? 368 00:19:26,053 --> 00:19:27,519 Just don't do anything disgusting with it. 369 00:19:27,521 --> 00:19:28,522 Ah. 370 00:19:30,024 --> 00:19:32,624 I can smell her Labia. 371 00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:34,760 You are a revolting man! 372 00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:36,093 I know. 373 00:19:36,095 --> 00:19:38,462 So, you were saying? 374 00:19:38,464 --> 00:19:40,798 Right. Yeah, so he kinda hobbles off, falls over, 375 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,568 and doesn't bloody get up again. 376 00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:46,573 [OMINOUS MUSIC BUILD UP] 377 00:19:54,046 --> 00:19:56,048 [FLY BUZZING SOUND] 378 00:19:57,448 --> 00:19:59,117 Oh, fuck. 379 00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:03,088 Oh, God. 380 00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:10,592 Bloody hippie leaving his bloody tools laying around. 381 00:20:10,594 --> 00:20:12,560 So that's the serial killer? 382 00:20:12,562 --> 00:20:14,462 A hippie serial killer, really? 383 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:15,797 Oh, it's a great cover. 384 00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:18,600 No. Birch is the hippie. Doc is th... 385 00:20:18,602 --> 00:20:19,901 Serial killer! 386 00:20:19,903 --> 00:20:20,902 Creepy cowboy guy. 387 00:20:20,904 --> 00:20:22,104 Anyway, you're meant to tread on the rake and 388 00:20:22,106 --> 00:20:24,705 have it hit you in the face. You're not meant to fall on it 389 00:20:24,707 --> 00:20:26,540 and have it brain you. It's just not funny! 390 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:29,077 Oh. It kinda is. 391 00:20:29,079 --> 00:20:31,445 Well, and convenient! 392 00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:33,147 So, what'd you do next? 393 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,815 I managed to drag him back to my shed. 394 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,516 Ahh! 395 00:20:36,518 --> 00:20:37,851 [GRUNTING SOUND] 396 00:20:37,853 --> 00:20:39,854 Nearly bloody killed me. 397 00:20:46,661 --> 00:20:47,994 I'm gonna have to go to the Police. 398 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,795 No way, man! You'll look guilty as hell. 399 00:20:49,797 --> 00:20:50,730 It was an accident. 400 00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:52,832 Well, so why did you move the body then? 401 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,133 I don't know. 402 00:20:54,135 --> 00:20:56,501 What if somebody heard or saw the argument? 403 00:20:56,503 --> 00:20:57,569 I don't know! 404 00:20:57,571 --> 00:20:59,804 Well, you should definitely dispose of the corpse. 405 00:20:59,806 --> 00:21:02,473 Graham, you really have no grip on the real world. 406 00:21:02,475 --> 00:21:04,910 Oh, spoken like a true hypocrite. 407 00:21:04,912 --> 00:21:07,913 Why don't you just bury it in the serial killer's plot? 408 00:21:07,915 --> 00:21:09,915 Oh, that's at the other end of the allotment. 409 00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:12,116 Finish me off dragging his fat ass back there. 410 00:21:12,118 --> 00:21:14,785 Well, bury it in yours then. I mean if it's as messy as you say 411 00:21:14,787 --> 00:21:16,719 then nobody will ever find it. 412 00:21:16,721 --> 00:21:19,123 Christ! Even the thought of dragging him another foot 413 00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:21,524 gives me a bloody asthma attack. 414 00:21:21,526 --> 00:21:23,559 Arrffff. 415 00:21:23,561 --> 00:21:26,564 [BATTLE SOUNDS] 416 00:21:34,905 --> 00:21:36,907 [HORSE NEIGH SOUND] 417 00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:42,845 [BATTLE SOUNDS CONTINUE] 418 00:21:49,218 --> 00:21:50,753 Ohh. 419 00:21:57,226 --> 00:21:59,793 I'll think of something. 420 00:21:59,795 --> 00:22:01,928 Maybe. 421 00:22:01,930 --> 00:22:04,933 [MEDIEVAL ROCK MUSIC] 422 00:22:10,272 --> 00:22:13,474 [CAR ALARM SOUNDS] 423 00:22:17,812 --> 00:22:19,979 [PASSING HELICOPTER SOUNDS] 424 00:22:19,981 --> 00:22:21,983 [CAT GROWLING SOUNDS] 425 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:27,888 [POLICE SIRES WAILING] 426 00:22:33,625 --> 00:22:35,892 I think you should unleash some of that old 427 00:22:35,894 --> 00:22:38,530 Casimir vengeance on him. 428 00:22:40,966 --> 00:22:43,969 [DRAMATIC MEDIEVAL MUSIC] 429 00:22:47,772 --> 00:22:50,039 Some imagination you've got?! 430 00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:51,640 It's my fantasy. 431 00:22:51,642 --> 00:22:54,643 Ha! You could've given me some armor or something. 432 00:22:54,645 --> 00:22:56,645 And I mean, what the hell's that supposed to be? 433 00:22:56,647 --> 00:22:58,647 Like I said, it's my fantasy. 434 00:22:58,649 --> 00:23:00,151 Really? 435 00:23:03,887 --> 00:23:06,821 Suck on that, Potter! 436 00:23:06,823 --> 00:23:10,058 You can have her Sir Brandt. Make the most of it. 437 00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:13,728 For she will soon be as dead as the vile creatures she commands. 438 00:23:13,730 --> 00:23:18,632 Oh yeah? We'll see about that. 439 00:23:18,634 --> 00:23:21,636 [INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP] 440 00:23:30,079 --> 00:23:33,082 [MUSIC TEMPO PICKS UP] 441 00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:43,024 Ha-ha! You cannot defeat us both Wizard! 442 00:23:44,159 --> 00:23:45,224 Yield! 443 00:23:45,226 --> 00:23:48,660 The cold lure of this grave-robbing vixen was enough 444 00:23:48,662 --> 00:23:51,296 to turn you from faith, eh, Palladin? 445 00:23:51,298 --> 00:23:56,000 Ha. Do not mock my new faith, Bumblebore! 446 00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,936 and you know nothing of the heat that heat that lies between 447 00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:03,408 that Vixen's legs. But you will feel the sting of her blade, 448 00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:07,143 When she cuts your legs from beneath you. 449 00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:10,148 [EPIC MUSIC CONTINUES] 450 00:24:14,986 --> 00:24:18,121 PETER: Sorry! I thought you were one of them. 451 00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:21,827 Don't waste any time. Find your sanctuary. Go to ground! 452 00:24:25,729 --> 00:24:26,995 What? 453 00:24:26,997 --> 00:24:30,000 It's the big one! I must document everything! 454 00:24:35,172 --> 00:24:38,175 [EPIC MUSIC BUILD UP] 455 00:24:47,951 --> 00:24:50,652 [GROWLING SOUND] 456 00:24:55,424 --> 00:24:58,626 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 457 00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:11,870 [CHOPPING SOUND] 458 00:25:11,872 --> 00:25:14,839 [CONTINUOUS CHOPPING SOUNDS] 459 00:25:14,841 --> 00:25:16,843 [SITAR FADES IN] 460 00:25:28,787 --> 00:25:31,221 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 461 00:25:31,223 --> 00:25:33,225 [GROWLING SOUNDS] 462 00:25:36,128 --> 00:25:39,131 [PASSING SCREAM SOUNDS] 463 00:25:43,101 --> 00:25:45,103 [WHEEZING SOUNDS] 464 00:25:45,436 --> 00:25:49,107 [RADIO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND] [FLY BUZZING SOUNDS] 465 00:26:00,883 --> 00:26:03,918 [ALARMS WAILING] 466 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,354 [GUNSHOT SOUNDS] 467 00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:08,358 [EXPLOSION SOUNDS] 468 00:26:20,436 --> 00:26:23,836 RADIO JACK: There remains a multitude of unanswered questions first and 469 00:26:23,838 --> 00:26:27,273 forth most regarding the cause of this horrible turn of events. 470 00:26:27,275 --> 00:26:29,175 I can't believe, but when it comes down to it, 471 00:26:29,177 --> 00:26:32,110 the only fact that matters is the one we can no longer ignore. 472 00:26:32,112 --> 00:26:35,480 And that is, that it seems, and I still find it hard to put into 473 00:26:35,482 --> 00:26:38,217 words, despite having seen evidence first hand. 474 00:26:38,219 --> 00:26:43,021 We're genuinely in the midst of an actual zombie apocalypse. 475 00:26:43,023 --> 00:26:46,258 Now joining me in discussion for these "end of days" 476 00:26:46,260 --> 00:26:48,459 is Kevin Bartlett. Now Kevin, hello and welco... 477 00:26:48,461 --> 00:26:51,062 KEVIN: Yeah, yeah, hi John. What I'd like to say I'm happy to be here 478 00:26:51,064 --> 00:26:54,498 RADIO JACK: Er quite! So, er what's your take on this whole debacle? 479 00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:57,301 KEVIN: Well, first of all, I could've predicted this would happen. 480 00:26:57,303 --> 00:27:00,204 I-I did it, I know, I know but I-I look. I mean look, 481 00:27:00,206 --> 00:27:02,838 We've been obsessed forever, with bloody zombie this and 482 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,475 zombie that. Do you know how many zombie films are churned 483 00:27:05,477 --> 00:27:06,809 - out each year. - Quite a few I'm sure. 484 00:27:06,811 --> 00:27:10,413 KEVIN: Er yep, m-my theory, and you mentioned earlier about not 485 00:27:10,415 --> 00:27:13,583 knowing the "how" of all this. Well, I'll tell you exactly how 486 00:27:13,585 --> 00:27:17,254 this has all fucking happened. Sorry, can I swear John? Well 487 00:27:17,256 --> 00:27:20,054 it doesn't matter now does it? It's simple, and testament to 488 00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:23,224 the towering power of the media and the public conscience. 489 00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,927 We've spent so long fawning over these shuffling bags of bones, 490 00:27:25,929 --> 00:27:30,399 reveling in film after film, TV shows, books, video games, and 491 00:27:30,401 --> 00:27:33,935 hoaxes, people have been genuinely waiting for this day. 492 00:27:33,937 --> 00:27:37,337 And why? Because with this kind of PR it would be rude to have 493 00:27:37,339 --> 00:27:39,373 a fucking zombie apocalypse. 494 00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:43,379 - Er Kevin, can I stop you there. - Yeah, wha-what's going on bud? 495 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:50,083 RADIO JACK: I think. I thi... [INDISCERNIBLE SCREAMS] 496 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,786 KEVIN: No, no! 497 00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,058 KEVIN: Let's get to the roof! 498 00:27:59,060 --> 00:28:00,226 KEVIN: Well, to the helicopter! 499 00:28:00,228 --> 00:28:02,463 RADIO JACK: Fucking helicopter? What? 500 00:28:06,234 --> 00:28:09,236 [INDISCERNIBLE SCREAMS] 501 00:28:15,941 --> 00:28:18,944 [SMOOTH JAZZ] 502 00:28:28,554 --> 00:28:30,256 Ohh! 503 00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:40,598 [OMINOUS TONE] 504 00:28:55,378 --> 00:28:56,544 It's alright for you. 505 00:28:56,546 --> 00:28:59,647 You don t have to hack up and bury the people you kill! 506 00:28:59,649 --> 00:29:02,885 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [BURNING FLAMES SOUND] 507 00:29:09,325 --> 00:29:11,193 Casmir the Cremator. 508 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,862 That's got a bit of a ring to it! 509 00:29:17,666 --> 00:29:19,534 Right, back to work. 510 00:29:26,574 --> 00:29:28,607 Ooh, oh! 511 00:29:28,609 --> 00:29:31,276 Ohh. Ugh. 512 00:29:31,278 --> 00:29:35,046 [FLY BUZZING SOUND] 513 00:29:35,048 --> 00:29:37,115 Alight Mr. Parsons. 514 00:29:37,117 --> 00:29:39,620 Let's not keep your legs waiting! 515 00:29:42,188 --> 00:29:44,355 Unfortunately you're going to be spending the rest of eternity in 516 00:29:44,357 --> 00:29:47,023 my disgrace of a plot. 517 00:29:47,025 --> 00:29:49,560 I'll try and tidy up for you. 518 00:29:49,562 --> 00:29:53,096 God, I'll be glad to see the back of you. 519 00:29:53,098 --> 00:29:54,099 Ugh. 520 00:29:56,703 --> 00:29:59,904 God! You are one ugly bastard! 521 00:30:01,339 --> 00:30:04,041 Ahh! What the fuck?! 522 00:30:06,277 --> 00:30:08,279 Ahh! Ahh! Oh, God! 523 00:30:12,683 --> 00:30:15,383 Get off my crotch! Ahh! 524 00:30:15,385 --> 00:30:18,188 Ahh! Ahhh! 525 00:30:19,556 --> 00:30:21,558 Bloody open you. 526 00:30:23,427 --> 00:30:26,694 Ahh! Aahhh! 527 00:30:26,696 --> 00:30:31,030 Ugh! Help! Heeeelp! 528 00:30:31,032 --> 00:30:34,101 I've got half a gardner in here! He's trying to kill me! 529 00:30:34,103 --> 00:30:36,605 Help me! Heeeelp! 530 00:30:41,710 --> 00:30:45,111 Please, help! He's got my legs, he's got my legs! 531 00:30:45,113 --> 00:30:47,112 He's got, ohh god he's got! 532 00:30:47,114 --> 00:30:50,117 You fucking door! Ahhh!!! 533 00:30:52,454 --> 00:30:56,556 Pleeease! Ahh! Ahhhhh! 534 00:30:56,558 --> 00:30:59,124 Oh, God! Oh, God! 535 00:30:59,126 --> 00:31:01,128 [DRONING SOUND] 536 00:31:05,465 --> 00:31:10,401 Oh, God! Ahh! Ahh! Ahhh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh, God! 537 00:31:10,403 --> 00:31:12,303 Ahh, God! 538 00:31:12,305 --> 00:31:15,308 [FRANTIC STRING INSTRUMENTS BUILD UP] 539 00:31:24,483 --> 00:31:27,486 [FRANTIC MUSIC FADES OUT] 540 00:31:31,656 --> 00:31:33,658 Ohh! Ohh! 541 00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:42,498 - You! - Ahh. Ahhhh. Aghhhhh! 542 00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,166 The only thing is, you were actually more annoying 543 00:31:44,168 --> 00:31:45,667 when you were alive. 544 00:31:45,669 --> 00:31:48,637 [HELICOPTER FLYING SOUNDS] 545 00:31:48,639 --> 00:31:50,640 Help! Help! 546 00:31:54,744 --> 00:31:57,578 TREVOR: Heeeeelp! Agh! 547 00:31:57,580 --> 00:32:00,347 Aghh! Heeeeelp! 548 00:32:00,349 --> 00:32:02,817 [PEACEFUL SITAR] 549 00:32:02,819 --> 00:32:06,021 [GROWLING SOUNDS] 550 00:32:09,591 --> 00:32:13,192 BIRCH: I know a cry for help when I hear one. 551 00:32:13,194 --> 00:32:15,196 Come on, Birchy boy! 552 00:32:18,366 --> 00:32:22,168 Ahh! Ahhh! Aaaaahhh! 553 00:32:28,408 --> 00:32:31,209 Four bars, half battery! Booyahhhhh! 554 00:32:31,211 --> 00:32:33,411 Right, Bobbi. 555 00:32:33,413 --> 00:32:34,414 Right. 556 00:32:36,716 --> 00:32:38,782 Come on, Bobbi. Come on. Answer, answer. 557 00:32:38,784 --> 00:32:40,551 Answer the phone. 558 00:32:40,553 --> 00:32:43,554 [EROTIC MUSIC] 559 00:32:43,556 --> 00:32:46,559 [MOANING SOUNDS] 560 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,632 There's more of them. They've got her. 561 00:32:55,199 --> 00:32:57,198 PARSONS: Aghhaaahh! 562 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,704 [CHOKING SOUNDS] 563 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,343 I have to make another call. Don't you ever get tired? 564 00:33:08,580 --> 00:33:10,579 Shhh! 565 00:33:10,581 --> 00:33:13,481 [PHONE RINGING] 566 00:33:13,483 --> 00:33:17,351 OPERATOR: Thank you for calling 999, the UK's leading emergency service. 567 00:33:17,353 --> 00:33:19,721 Your call is currently in a queue and will be dealt with 568 00:33:19,723 --> 00:33:22,826 as soon as one of our operators becomes available. 569 00:33:23,593 --> 00:33:26,159 For God's sake! 570 00:33:26,161 --> 00:33:29,164 [EASY LISTENING MUSIC] 571 00:33:39,274 --> 00:33:42,474 OPERATOR: Your call is important to us. Thank you for your patience. 572 00:33:42,476 --> 00:33:44,276 - Please continue to ho... - For God's sake! 573 00:33:44,278 --> 00:33:46,411 [INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER] 574 00:33:46,413 --> 00:33:49,416 [EASY LISTENING MUSIC CONTINUES] 575 00:33:55,756 --> 00:33:58,456 Oh, you like that do you? Ohhh! 576 00:33:58,458 --> 00:34:00,460 [CROW CAWING SOUND] 577 00:34:05,565 --> 00:34:08,766 Who'll be at home, who'll be at home, who'll be at home? 578 00:34:08,768 --> 00:34:11,838 Tsk, tsk, tsk. Graham 579 00:34:13,305 --> 00:34:15,839 Oooh, Mistress Morana! 580 00:34:15,841 --> 00:34:19,976 Oh! Oh, mistress! 581 00:34:19,978 --> 00:34:21,978 Oh! Ughh. 582 00:34:21,980 --> 00:34:25,182 [RINGTONE AND VIBRATING SOUND] 583 00:34:25,884 --> 00:34:29,318 Jesus, T! You scared the crap out of me! 584 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,386 GRAHAM: Good thing I'm on the crapper. 585 00:34:31,388 --> 00:34:34,757 God, that is a disgusting image! Look, look, I need your help. 586 00:34:34,759 --> 00:34:35,858 Kinda busy. 587 00:34:35,860 --> 00:34:37,692 Doing what? 588 00:34:37,694 --> 00:34:40,963 Umm, polishing my sword. 589 00:34:40,965 --> 00:34:43,631 Look, even though you've got a sword, I know that means your 590 00:34:43,633 --> 00:34:46,233 penis! Can you just put it away in your pants and fucking come 591 00:34:46,235 --> 00:34:49,238 and help me? We've got a situation. 592 00:34:52,741 --> 00:34:54,341 What's that noise? 593 00:34:54,343 --> 00:34:59,246 That's the situation. Mr. Parsons is now 594 00:34:59,248 --> 00:35:01,281 zombie Parsons! 595 00:35:01,283 --> 00:35:02,948 GRAHAM: Hahaha! shut up. 596 00:35:02,950 --> 00:35:05,618 I'm serious Graham! Look, I only called Bobbi. 597 00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:08,254 I think they already got her. 598 00:35:08,256 --> 00:35:12,024 Wait a minute. Am I on bloody speaker phone? And who's they? 599 00:35:12,026 --> 00:35:15,730 Do you b...? The bloody zombies that's who! 600 00:35:19,933 --> 00:35:21,900 I'm not the first person you called? 601 00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:24,703 You're not the second either. I've got bloody 999 on hold as 602 00:35:24,705 --> 00:35:25,704 we speak. 603 00:35:25,706 --> 00:35:28,573 Ha, you put 999 on hold? 604 00:35:28,575 --> 00:35:30,975 Well they put me on hold first! 605 00:35:30,977 --> 00:35:32,844 Yeah, I hate it when they do that. 606 00:35:32,846 --> 00:35:35,378 It's bloody ridiculous. Anyway look, I'm trapped in the shed 607 00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:37,413 somehow. I can't get out. And I need you to come down here... 608 00:35:37,415 --> 00:35:39,515 Well, I can't. 609 00:35:39,517 --> 00:35:41,451 What? Something more pressing? 610 00:35:41,453 --> 00:35:44,387 Look, ughh. Just twat the thing over the head and 611 00:35:44,389 --> 00:35:47,623 bash your way out. I mean, it's a shed. I'm sure you'll manage. 612 00:35:47,625 --> 00:35:49,559 Are you, are you kidding me? 613 00:35:49,561 --> 00:35:52,461 Look, I've gotta go. I'll see you tonight, alright? 614 00:35:52,463 --> 00:35:53,996 No. 615 00:35:53,998 --> 00:35:56,565 No! No. 616 00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:59,269 No! Ahhh! 617 00:35:59,870 --> 00:36:03,505 Fuuuuuck! Fuck! Idiot! 618 00:36:03,507 --> 00:36:05,640 Ahhhhhh! 619 00:36:05,642 --> 00:36:08,509 Ohhh. 620 00:36:08,511 --> 00:36:11,881 Ohhhhh, yessss! 621 00:36:12,315 --> 00:36:15,549 OPERATOR: Is this call a genuine emergency? If so... 622 00:36:15,551 --> 00:36:18,554 [FRANTIC ORCHESTRA] 623 00:36:20,590 --> 00:36:23,592 [INDISCERNIBLE PHONE CHATTER] 624 00:36:31,066 --> 00:36:34,268 Ahh! Ahh! Ahhhh! Ahhh! Ahh! 625 00:36:42,943 --> 00:36:45,778 My shoe! My shoe! 626 00:36:45,780 --> 00:36:48,046 Ugh! Ahh! 627 00:36:48,048 --> 00:36:49,715 That's my bloody shoe! 628 00:36:49,717 --> 00:36:52,617 Give me my shoe! Give me my bloody shoes! 629 00:36:52,619 --> 00:36:55,354 That was my last pair of Nike's! 630 00:36:55,554 --> 00:36:57,387 OPERATOR: Please continue to hold. 631 00:36:57,389 --> 00:36:59,422 One of our operators will be with you shortly. 632 00:36:59,424 --> 00:37:00,992 Now, a word from our sponsors. 633 00:37:00,994 --> 00:37:05,062 SPONSOR: are you suffering from stabbing pain, headaches? 634 00:37:05,064 --> 00:37:08,765 The kind of stubborn pain that sits right behind your eyes 635 00:37:08,767 --> 00:37:10,766 and won't go aw... 636 00:37:10,768 --> 00:37:12,470 Ahhh! 637 00:37:15,473 --> 00:37:19,510 No! no, no! Nooo! Not now! Not now! Nooo! Nooo! 638 00:37:27,717 --> 00:37:32,120 [ORCHESTRA FADES OUT] 639 00:37:32,122 --> 00:37:35,292 [UPLIFTING MUSIC] 640 00:37:38,895 --> 00:37:40,862 Ahh! Ahhh! 641 00:37:40,864 --> 00:37:43,866 [UPLIFTING ORCHESTRA] 642 00:37:50,973 --> 00:37:53,874 Hahahaha. Hahaha. Ahh. 643 00:37:53,876 --> 00:37:56,879 [ORCHESTRA FADES OUT] 644 00:38:01,582 --> 00:38:03,584 [GARGLING SOUNDS] 645 00:38:07,521 --> 00:38:09,821 Oh, you wanna get that roof fixed! 646 00:38:09,823 --> 00:38:10,824 You mind? 647 00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:17,496 [SCREAMS] [STABBING SOUNDS] 648 00:38:23,069 --> 00:38:26,072 [STABBING SOUNDS CONTINUE] 649 00:38:29,709 --> 00:38:32,577 By the way, I did take your potatoes. 650 00:38:35,046 --> 00:38:37,180 Sorry mate, I seriously thought you were joking earlier! 651 00:38:37,182 --> 00:38:39,515 It's fine. 652 00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:41,684 What, so you wore a helmet, but you didn't bring a sword? 653 00:38:41,686 --> 00:38:43,853 Yeah, look, it's one thing walking around town wearing 654 00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:45,921 this, which, by the way, is a very clever move, 655 00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:48,790 but I can't be dragging a sword around town. 656 00:38:48,792 --> 00:38:50,592 It's bloody heavy for starters. 657 00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:53,195 Well, at least you got over your agoraphobia. 658 00:38:53,197 --> 00:38:55,529 Yeah, yeah alright, I'm not agoraphobic. Fine. 659 00:38:55,531 --> 00:38:56,765 Surprise. 660 00:38:56,767 --> 00:39:00,102 Look, at least I came, yeah? It's bloody dangerous out here! 661 00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:02,003 I saw two women eating another woman. 662 00:39:02,005 --> 00:39:03,838 What, did you watch it on your phone? 663 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,207 Not like that! And I saw some hippie 664 00:39:06,209 --> 00:39:08,675 chewing some blokes arm off! 665 00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:10,679 Oh, bloody vegans! 666 00:39:12,781 --> 00:39:14,614 I think we should head to the coast. 667 00:39:14,616 --> 00:39:16,549 - What? - Well, there might be boats. 668 00:39:16,551 --> 00:39:18,684 - That's a stupid fucking idea! - No, it's not. 669 00:39:18,686 --> 00:39:20,819 Yes it is. Where's Bobbi? 670 00:39:20,821 --> 00:39:23,089 - I dunno. I think they got her. - You think? 671 00:39:23,091 --> 00:39:24,224 Can't be sure. 672 00:39:24,226 --> 00:39:25,927 Harriet's with Bobbi. 673 00:39:27,862 --> 00:39:30,796 We need to save our women! 674 00:39:30,798 --> 00:39:33,731 We really, we, we really don't. 675 00:39:33,733 --> 00:39:35,934 I cou... 676 00:39:35,936 --> 00:39:39,103 So my thinking is, you know what choice does she have? 677 00:39:39,105 --> 00:39:42,507 Suicide? Becoming a sex slave for a heavily armed gang? 678 00:39:42,509 --> 00:39:44,609 Donating her brain to the hungry? 679 00:39:44,611 --> 00:39:45,843 Well none of that's likely to happen. 680 00:39:45,845 --> 00:39:48,146 I think it's more likely than her shacking up with you in some 681 00:39:48,148 --> 00:39:50,614 post-apocalyptic wasteland. 682 00:39:50,616 --> 00:39:53,216 Hahahaha. You wait. 683 00:39:53,218 --> 00:39:56,186 Chicks dig a knight in shining armor! 684 00:39:56,188 --> 00:39:57,988 What the hell? 685 00:39:57,990 --> 00:40:02,726 God! I think it's Peter? Well, part of him. 686 00:40:02,728 --> 00:40:04,795 What, you can tell just from his arm? 687 00:40:04,797 --> 00:40:06,195 No. 688 00:40:06,197 --> 00:40:07,732 The camera. 689 00:40:12,236 --> 00:40:16,571 PETER: My name is Peter Jones. I'm a-well, I'm doing my masters in 690 00:40:16,573 --> 00:40:20,577 agriculture, but that's doesn't matter right now. Start again. 691 00:40:22,212 --> 00:40:26,814 My name is Peter Jones, and I'm a concerned citizen. 692 00:40:26,816 --> 00:40:29,783 If you're watching this these could be the very last recorded 693 00:40:29,785 --> 00:40:33,154 thoughts of mankind. It's not too late for you though. 694 00:40:33,156 --> 00:40:37,192 You can escape. These things are slow and cumbersome. 695 00:40:37,194 --> 00:40:41,594 Ahh! Ahh-ahh! Ahhhh! ahhh! 696 00:40:41,596 --> 00:40:46,065 Ah-ahhaha! Ahh-ha! Oohoohoo! Ahhh! 697 00:40:46,067 --> 00:40:48,601 Ahhh! Oh, God! 698 00:40:48,603 --> 00:40:51,804 Oh, Jesus! Oh, Christ! 699 00:40:51,806 --> 00:40:56,608 Ahh-haha! Aaaah! Ah-ha! 700 00:40:56,610 --> 00:40:59,613 [EATING SOUNDS] 701 00:41:04,251 --> 00:41:05,917 Documenting the zombie apocalypse? 702 00:41:05,919 --> 00:41:07,052 Who the hell's gonna watch it? 703 00:41:07,054 --> 00:41:08,922 Us apparently! 704 00:41:10,223 --> 00:41:12,957 Oh, Christ! And now they're best buddies. Great. 705 00:41:12,959 --> 00:41:14,792 Well, if you cant eat 'em, join 'em. 706 00:41:14,794 --> 00:41:16,894 Right, I'll take Peter, you take Ted! 707 00:41:16,896 --> 00:41:17,862 What about her? 708 00:41:17,864 --> 00:41:20,331 She's got a dodgy leg. She'll be a while. 709 00:41:20,333 --> 00:41:23,067 Come on, you! 710 00:41:23,069 --> 00:41:25,071 Come ooon, youuu! 711 00:41:27,605 --> 00:41:29,738 Ahh! Take that you idiot! 712 00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:32,741 Ah! Yes! Ugh! Ug! h 713 00:41:32,743 --> 00:41:35,844 - Do they die this way? - I'm not sure! 714 00:41:35,846 --> 00:41:39,850 - Take that! Take that! - Ugh! Ugh! 715 00:41:40,751 --> 00:41:43,254 - Ahh! - Oh, God. No! 716 00:41:49,759 --> 00:41:53,094 [INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP] 717 00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:57,100 No, Doc. No, no, It's, it's me. Ahh! 718 00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:01,301 [MUSICAL BUILD UP FADES] 719 00:42:01,303 --> 00:42:03,737 Thank you? 720 00:42:03,739 --> 00:42:04,905 Yeah, thanks Doc. 721 00:42:04,907 --> 00:42:06,608 DOC: Don't mention it. 722 00:42:09,645 --> 00:42:11,978 You look like you've been busy. 723 00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:14,413 It's like fucking Christmas. 724 00:42:14,415 --> 00:42:17,183 I've got a more traditional approach to 725 00:42:17,185 --> 00:42:19,187 Christmas myself but, 726 00:42:21,255 --> 00:42:24,890 You know I don't know why you're looking so shocked Trevor. 727 00:42:24,892 --> 00:42:29,195 I saw what you did to Parsons. Very impressive. 728 00:42:29,197 --> 00:42:30,727 Thank you. 729 00:42:30,729 --> 00:42:33,233 So, ugh, what's in the bag? 730 00:42:34,401 --> 00:42:37,770 - You don't want to know. - Huh, I do. Hm. 731 00:42:40,173 --> 00:42:41,772 Oh! 732 00:42:41,774 --> 00:42:44,242 - Oh, heads! - Heads? 733 00:42:44,244 --> 00:42:46,945 Yeah! hahaha. 734 00:42:49,814 --> 00:42:52,382 What's in the other bag? 735 00:42:52,384 --> 00:42:54,218 You really don't want to know. 736 00:42:54,220 --> 00:42:56,222 Hm. Pretty open-minded. 737 00:43:03,428 --> 00:43:06,630 Oh! Fu... ohh! 738 00:43:07,731 --> 00:43:08,997 GRAHAM: Ohh! 739 00:43:08,999 --> 00:43:13,368 Lady parts. You know, If you soak 'em in vinegar long enough, 740 00:43:13,370 --> 00:43:17,405 Just like calamari. 741 00:43:17,407 --> 00:43:20,174 We have to go! 742 00:43:20,176 --> 00:43:21,976 Ah, I've got to go and see my wife. 743 00:43:21,978 --> 00:43:24,011 Yeah, and Harriet. 744 00:43:24,013 --> 00:43:26,313 Well, hasta la vista guys. 745 00:43:26,315 --> 00:43:27,848 Maybe see you around? 746 00:43:27,850 --> 00:43:29,717 Yeah, better hope not. 747 00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,153 Especially if you're one of them. 748 00:43:32,155 --> 00:43:34,287 You know they're not human. 749 00:43:34,289 --> 00:43:38,825 Best thing to do is, you see 'em, kill 'em. Simple right? 750 00:43:38,827 --> 00:43:41,928 Noted. Thank you very much. Very useful. 751 00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:43,363 I would hope you'd do the same for me. 752 00:43:43,365 --> 00:43:45,864 - Yeah. - You see me shuffling around, 753 00:43:45,866 --> 00:43:49,371 kill me. 'Cause I don't wanna be one of the living dead. 754 00:43:52,206 --> 00:43:55,773 I wanna be one of the dead, dead. 755 00:43:55,775 --> 00:43:57,777 Dead, dead. Got it. 756 00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:06,350 Well, don't worry. I'll clean up your mess. 757 00:44:06,352 --> 00:44:07,884 Alright. 758 00:44:07,886 --> 00:44:09,353 Okay, thank you. 759 00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:12,255 I told you he was a serial killer! 760 00:44:12,257 --> 00:44:15,093 Ahhaaahh! 761 00:44:19,465 --> 00:44:21,264 That's something you don't see everyday. 762 00:44:21,266 --> 00:44:23,132 Yeah. 763 00:44:23,134 --> 00:44:25,167 This is your street isn't it? 764 00:44:25,169 --> 00:44:30,072 Yeah, alright, keep up with me. Keep your eyes open. Let's go! 765 00:44:30,074 --> 00:44:32,474 Bollocks! 766 00:44:32,476 --> 00:44:36,180 [INTENSE ORCHESTRA BUILD UP] 767 00:44:49,926 --> 00:44:51,428 Oh! 768 00:44:54,096 --> 00:44:57,099 [SERENE MUSIC] 769 00:45:01,070 --> 00:45:04,036 OPHELIA: Lie still, Sir Casimir! 770 00:45:04,038 --> 00:45:07,008 You are wounded. But you will live. 771 00:45:08,076 --> 00:45:10,077 I'll make sure of it. 772 00:45:15,182 --> 00:45:18,451 So beautiful. Who are you? 773 00:45:18,453 --> 00:45:22,120 My name is Ophelia. And these are my sisters, 774 00:45:22,122 --> 00:45:24,124 Iphelea and Upheleme. 775 00:45:29,563 --> 00:45:34,233 We are honored to tend to someone so brave as you. 776 00:45:35,835 --> 00:45:39,436 We are humbled by your presence. 777 00:45:39,438 --> 00:45:44,309 Yet, I would still beg for one small favor. 778 00:45:45,977 --> 00:45:46,978 Anything. 779 00:45:49,948 --> 00:45:52,615 A kiss 780 00:45:52,617 --> 00:45:55,918 from your brave lips. 781 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,922 Should you have the strength, sire? 782 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,424 Hmm. 783 00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:06,796 [GENTLE STRING QUARTET] 784 00:46:20,008 --> 00:46:23,209 My sisters would ask the same favor. 785 00:46:23,211 --> 00:46:25,914 should you have the strength? 786 00:46:30,951 --> 00:46:32,987 Think so. 787 00:46:35,657 --> 00:46:37,189 - Oh! - Hahaha. 788 00:46:37,191 --> 00:46:38,357 Welcome back, T! 789 00:46:38,359 --> 00:46:41,661 Oh, Thanks. 790 00:46:41,663 --> 00:46:43,896 How long was I out? 791 00:46:43,898 --> 00:46:45,631 Oh, a couple of days. 792 00:46:45,633 --> 00:46:48,166 Oh, Christ! What's it like out there? 793 00:46:48,168 --> 00:46:51,002 Hahaha. Just kidding! 794 00:46:51,004 --> 00:46:53,037 Before you start on me, 795 00:46:53,039 --> 00:46:56,107 you look like a bloody zombie because you're covered in blood. 796 00:46:56,109 --> 00:46:59,344 If you'd come to the front door. Oh, no sorry, wait. 797 00:46:59,346 --> 00:47:02,212 I suppose you lost your keys as well as your inhaler. 798 00:47:02,214 --> 00:47:05,282 Do you know what Trevor? You are so rubbish when it comes to 799 00:47:05,284 --> 00:47:08,352 crisis like this, you really fucking are. 800 00:47:08,354 --> 00:47:11,455 Oh, come on Bobbi, he's just woken up, give him a break. 801 00:47:11,457 --> 00:47:14,460 No, because he's a lazy bastard, Harriet! 802 00:47:15,627 --> 00:47:17,660 Why's she wearing my shirt? 803 00:47:17,662 --> 00:47:20,864 I think that's obvious. Hmhmmhmm. 804 00:47:21,932 --> 00:47:25,434 Well, faced with the imminent prospect of death 805 00:47:25,436 --> 00:47:30,272 they, uh, finally gave into their sapphic whims. 806 00:47:30,274 --> 00:47:32,073 TREVOR: What? 807 00:47:32,075 --> 00:47:34,076 I think they had sex! 808 00:47:37,447 --> 00:47:39,449 Now, that I'd like to see. 809 00:47:44,253 --> 00:47:46,188 Well, half of it anyway. Haha. 810 00:47:47,591 --> 00:47:49,723 Hey, don't stretch that. That's my favorite. 811 00:47:49,725 --> 00:47:52,427 It was until you "tittied" it up! 812 00:47:55,130 --> 00:47:59,031 Oh, Christ! Oh, I need to take a shower. 813 00:47:59,033 --> 00:48:01,735 There's more pressing things than you washing Trevor. 814 00:48:01,737 --> 00:48:04,704 Are there Bobbi? Are there really? 'Cause let me tell you 815 00:48:04,706 --> 00:48:07,439 something. While you've been in here munching on your friend, 816 00:48:07,441 --> 00:48:10,342 the world out there has gone to absolute shit! 817 00:48:10,344 --> 00:48:13,011 So before this apocalypse really kicks in, 818 00:48:13,013 --> 00:48:15,247 I'd like one last shot at some hot water, okay? 819 00:48:15,249 --> 00:48:17,749 So my suggestion to you is, shut your fucking mouth, 820 00:48:17,751 --> 00:48:20,152 and put the immersion on! 'Cause right now, 821 00:48:20,154 --> 00:48:22,620 I really wanna wash these fucking brains off me. 822 00:48:22,622 --> 00:48:24,755 I don't think there's any need to swear at me 823 00:48:24,757 --> 00:48:27,558 Yes, there is actually! There's every fucking need! 824 00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:29,326 And may I point out that thus far, 825 00:48:29,328 --> 00:48:31,995 the only injury I've received is from my fuckwit of a wife 826 00:48:31,997 --> 00:48:34,698 and not from a fucking zombie! 827 00:48:34,700 --> 00:48:39,669 - Trevor? - Apology fucking accepted! 828 00:48:39,671 --> 00:48:43,005 Right, I'm now going upstairs to take a shower. 829 00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:45,073 Stay away from the doors and windows, alright? 830 00:48:45,075 --> 00:48:47,477 Just keep quiet, everything will be fine, 831 00:48:47,479 --> 00:48:50,582 we'll sort everything else out when I get back. 832 00:48:57,420 --> 00:48:59,422 Well, that was awkward. Err? 833 00:49:02,592 --> 00:49:05,595 [SOMBER ORCHESTRATION] 834 00:49:44,364 --> 00:49:47,064 So, you "Bi" then? 835 00:49:47,066 --> 00:49:48,833 Who said that? 836 00:49:48,835 --> 00:49:51,036 Well, you know, you and Bobbi? 837 00:49:52,806 --> 00:49:55,473 Maybe I'm a lesbian. 838 00:49:55,475 --> 00:49:57,741 Maybe? What, you don't know? 839 00:49:57,743 --> 00:50:00,677 No darling, you don't know. 840 00:50:00,679 --> 00:50:05,682 Nah, I don't buy it. All that stuff at the salon. 841 00:50:05,684 --> 00:50:08,687 We all want a happy ending Graham. 842 00:50:11,790 --> 00:50:14,523 Well, 843 00:50:14,525 --> 00:50:17,661 I guess we're never going to get one now. 844 00:50:20,197 --> 00:50:21,198 Trevor? 845 00:50:23,835 --> 00:50:25,001 - What? - Oh, for God's sake, 846 00:50:25,003 --> 00:50:28,703 I've seen that pathetic excuse for a penis enough times. 847 00:50:28,705 --> 00:50:32,139 Well your vagina s. rubbish. what do you want? 848 00:50:32,141 --> 00:50:34,642 Oh, for God's. Is that any way to talk to your wife? 849 00:50:34,644 --> 00:50:38,379 Eh? Anyway, look, I just wanted to say 'sorry'. 850 00:50:38,381 --> 00:50:40,648 You know, about, about the old Harriet thing. 851 00:50:40,650 --> 00:50:42,683 And I know you're pissed off. 852 00:50:42,685 --> 00:50:45,885 - I'm really not. - But, if it's any consolation, 853 00:50:45,887 --> 00:50:48,588 it's 'cause she wanted a threesome with us. 854 00:50:48,590 --> 00:50:49,422 She what? 855 00:50:49,424 --> 00:50:53,493 Ah. See, I thought you'd like that. 856 00:50:53,495 --> 00:50:56,498 [INDISTINCT MUMBLING] Just. 857 00:51:17,750 --> 00:51:20,818 How is he? 858 00:51:20,820 --> 00:51:21,821 Ugh. 859 00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:27,225 Ugh. Morana! Morana! Oh, God! 860 00:51:28,660 --> 00:51:32,796 Oh, yeah. Morana. Oh, Morana. 861 00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:36,799 - Ohhhhh! - Oh, Casimir! 862 00:51:36,801 --> 00:51:39,668 You're so HUGE! 863 00:51:39,670 --> 00:51:42,438 Much bigger than Sir Brandt. 864 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,940 Oh, yes! Fill me! 865 00:51:44,942 --> 00:51:49,611 Morana you dirty little temptress! Aghh, Ohh! 866 00:51:49,613 --> 00:51:53,715 Oh yes, I've never been filled like this before! 867 00:51:53,717 --> 00:51:57,518 Feel my power Morana! Feel my power inside you! 868 00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,521 Fill me with your staff of power! It's so good! 869 00:52:00,523 --> 00:52:04,425 Oh, you're so huge! Oh, Casimir! 870 00:52:04,427 --> 00:52:06,693 - Feel my power! - Oh! Oh! Give it to me! 871 00:52:06,695 --> 00:52:09,596 - Ohh! Ohh! - Give it to me! 872 00:52:09,598 --> 00:52:11,531 - Ohh! - Casimir! 873 00:52:11,533 --> 00:52:13,432 Alright, lover. Do you mind if I sit of your face 874 00:52:13,434 --> 00:52:15,468 while you fuck my friend? Haha! 875 00:52:15,470 --> 00:52:19,575 Ooh! Oh! Oh, God! Oh! 876 00:52:22,242 --> 00:52:23,976 - What the hell? - Zombies! 877 00:52:23,978 --> 00:52:27,512 - They've got in! - My face! 878 00:52:27,514 --> 00:52:30,415 - It's Harriet's fault! - Hey! 879 00:52:30,417 --> 00:52:31,919 You muppets! 880 00:52:33,921 --> 00:52:36,923 [SINISTER TONE] 881 00:52:39,225 --> 00:52:42,228 [MOANING SOUNDS] 882 00:52:57,375 --> 00:53:00,378 [INAUDIBLE] 883 00:53:08,986 --> 00:53:12,188 [MOANING SOUNDS CONTINUE] 884 00:53:17,260 --> 00:53:19,596 TREVOR: Feel my, feel my power! 885 00:53:21,565 --> 00:53:23,765 I could of sworn I heard something. 886 00:53:23,767 --> 00:53:25,533 Like what? 887 00:53:25,535 --> 00:53:27,902 I dunno. 888 00:53:27,904 --> 00:53:32,773 Fucking Trevor. Why'd he have to come back? 889 00:53:32,775 --> 00:53:37,444 I know, right. When we were having so much fun! 890 00:53:37,446 --> 00:53:40,547 I'm wet just thinking about it. 891 00:53:40,549 --> 00:53:42,514 You're a very bad girl! 892 00:53:42,516 --> 00:53:46,520 [MOANING SOUNDS] There! Didn't you hear that? 893 00:53:59,799 --> 00:54:00,832 Ahh! 894 00:54:00,834 --> 00:54:03,568 [INTENSE MUSICAL ORCHESTRA] 895 00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:06,573 Ah, Stop! Ah! Ohh! 896 00:54:08,675 --> 00:54:11,609 Oh, my God! Run! Zombies! 897 00:54:11,611 --> 00:54:13,312 Zombies! 898 00:54:22,721 --> 00:54:24,521 - What the hell? - Zombies! 899 00:54:24,523 --> 00:54:27,858 - They've got in! - My face! 900 00:54:27,860 --> 00:54:31,660 What did I say? Tell me, what did I say? 901 00:54:31,662 --> 00:54:34,362 I said, stay away from the doors and windows. 902 00:54:34,364 --> 00:54:37,032 These things. Anything but advertise our presence. 903 00:54:37,034 --> 00:54:39,467 That's all you had to do. Literally everything. 904 00:54:39,469 --> 00:54:42,637 And yet I get five minutes to clean up and somehow you, 905 00:54:42,639 --> 00:54:46,540 mouth breathers, manage to let in pervy Uncle Fester! 906 00:54:46,542 --> 00:54:48,109 It wasn't me T! 907 00:54:48,111 --> 00:54:51,345 I know Graham. I know. 908 00:54:51,347 --> 00:54:53,514 My face, it really hurts! 909 00:54:53,516 --> 00:54:55,849 I'm sorry about that Harriet, I really am, although 910 00:54:55,851 --> 00:54:56,918 I could say, I told you so. 911 00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,686 Oh, don't be so bloody smug Trevor. 912 00:54:59,688 --> 00:55:03,056 And why shouldn't I be smug, Bobbi? For once something 913 00:55:03,058 --> 00:55:07,360 terrible has happened and it isn't my bloody fault! Hahahaha! 914 00:55:07,362 --> 00:55:08,363 Ugh. 915 00:55:09,798 --> 00:55:10,799 Fuck. 916 00:55:16,137 --> 00:55:19,339 [THROWING UP SOUNDS] 917 00:55:27,548 --> 00:55:29,049 Ahhhhhh? 918 00:55:40,059 --> 00:55:41,060 Ohh. 919 00:55:46,431 --> 00:55:49,600 Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shh! 920 00:55:50,769 --> 00:55:53,169 [INDISTINCT MUMBLING] 921 00:55:53,171 --> 00:55:55,372 [GROANING SOUNDS] 922 00:56:00,511 --> 00:56:01,512 Christ! 923 00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:06,449 [SUSPENSEFUL AMBIENCE BUILD UP] 924 00:56:12,822 --> 00:56:15,558 Shh! Shhh! Shhh! 925 00:56:20,530 --> 00:56:23,964 Wait. Wait. 926 00:56:23,966 --> 00:56:25,966 I Think they've headed to the bedroom. 927 00:56:25,968 --> 00:56:28,702 We need to make a break for it. 928 00:56:28,704 --> 00:56:30,170 Make a break for it? 929 00:56:30,172 --> 00:56:33,206 Ugh, yes! The compound is breached! 930 00:56:33,208 --> 00:56:35,108 What we gonna do about her? 931 00:56:35,110 --> 00:56:36,642 Well, she comes too! 932 00:56:36,644 --> 00:56:40,813 No, she's been, uh... 933 00:56:40,815 --> 00:56:43,916 BOBBI: Listen, if we go, we've gotta go now! 934 00:56:43,918 --> 00:56:45,517 I can't go out in just a towel! 935 00:56:45,519 --> 00:56:46,585 Oh, man up! 936 00:56:46,587 --> 00:56:47,786 I'll man up when you give me your bloody clothes. 937 00:56:47,788 --> 00:56:50,089 Well, why don't you go to the bedroom then, and slip into 938 00:56:50,091 --> 00:56:51,556 something a little more comfortable, 939 00:56:51,558 --> 00:56:53,490 with dead fucking Derek?! 940 00:56:53,492 --> 00:56:55,059 - Shit! - No, he's right. 941 00:56:55,061 --> 00:56:56,895 He needs clothes. 942 00:56:56,897 --> 00:56:58,897 Thank you, Graham. 943 00:56:58,899 --> 00:57:02,499 You're gonna have to kill Derek. 944 00:57:02,501 --> 00:57:06,503 You expect me to wrestle a zombie in just a towel? 945 00:57:06,505 --> 00:57:09,472 That's really, that's really supportive. Thank you. 946 00:57:09,474 --> 00:57:13,811 Fucking sake! Do not leave me alone with him! 947 00:57:15,014 --> 00:57:17,014 I'm still here Bobbi! 948 00:57:17,016 --> 00:57:20,083 I know, I know mate. I just meant... 949 00:57:20,085 --> 00:57:22,952 HARRIET: Bloody Derek! 950 00:57:22,954 --> 00:57:24,955 I gave him a discount even. 951 00:57:27,191 --> 00:57:28,558 I did! 952 00:57:30,694 --> 00:57:33,795 Fine. Fine. 953 00:57:33,797 --> 00:57:35,797 I'll do it. 954 00:57:35,799 --> 00:57:37,499 I'll deal with Derek. 955 00:57:37,501 --> 00:57:38,600 Oh, you don't have to do that mate. 956 00:57:38,602 --> 00:57:41,902 No, no, no. No, no. It's okay. I'll take care of it. 957 00:57:41,904 --> 00:57:45,572 Ugh, I'll distract him while you go and get on a pair of 958 00:57:45,574 --> 00:57:47,576 bloody trousers and shit. 959 00:57:49,645 --> 00:57:52,212 You'd do that just for me? 960 00:57:52,214 --> 00:57:53,582 Yes, mate. 961 00:57:55,885 --> 00:57:58,284 Give us a hug! 962 00:57:58,286 --> 00:58:00,987 Uhh, okay. Enough of that. 963 00:58:00,989 --> 00:58:01,921 That's uhh... 964 00:58:01,923 --> 00:58:04,759 That, that was not, not to do with that. 965 00:58:06,593 --> 00:58:09,862 Okay, ugh, we'll be right back. 966 00:58:09,864 --> 00:58:12,866 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 967 00:58:25,279 --> 00:58:26,646 Ughhuhh. 968 00:58:36,755 --> 00:58:39,089 Harr-Harriet? 969 00:58:39,091 --> 00:58:42,625 What's happening to me? 970 00:58:42,627 --> 00:58:45,629 You're going to be okay, alright? You're gonna be fine. 971 00:58:53,337 --> 00:58:55,039 Stay behind me. 972 00:59:03,279 --> 00:59:06,282 HARRIET: I can't believe Derek actually bit me. 973 00:59:08,018 --> 00:59:11,788 He's usually so gentle with me. 974 00:59:14,991 --> 00:59:18,994 Yeah. I-I-I told Trevor that you'd have a threesome with us. 975 00:59:22,663 --> 00:59:23,999 Oh, God. 976 00:59:29,071 --> 00:59:31,937 I really didn't, I didn't mean it. 977 00:59:31,939 --> 00:59:33,905 This is for fucking the lovely Morana! 978 00:59:33,907 --> 00:59:36,710 You festering piece of offal! Ahh! 979 00:59:37,711 --> 00:59:38,712 Ahh! 980 00:59:50,222 --> 00:59:52,925 Go on, Trevor! I've got this! 981 00:59:59,832 --> 01:00:03,069 Ahhh! Ahha! Ahhhh! 982 01:00:07,205 --> 01:00:09,172 [STRUGGLING SOUNDS] 983 01:00:09,174 --> 01:00:10,175 Ah! 984 01:00:17,415 --> 01:00:19,749 See! All those times you bitched at me for leaving 985 01:00:19,751 --> 01:00:21,985 clothes on the floor. And now it pays off! 986 01:00:24,922 --> 01:00:28,023 Is she turning? 987 01:00:28,025 --> 01:00:30,858 Oh, I think so, yeah. 988 01:00:30,860 --> 01:00:33,195 Right so, that's you fully dressed then? 989 01:00:33,197 --> 01:00:35,199 Well, it's a start isn't it? 990 01:00:38,700 --> 01:00:42,136 Harriet? I know seems horribly inappropriate but 991 01:00:42,138 --> 01:00:44,371 do you think I could possibly have my t-shirt now? 992 01:00:44,373 --> 01:00:46,072 Oh, for fucks sake Trevor, come on! 993 01:00:46,074 --> 01:00:47,073 What? 994 01:00:47,075 --> 01:00:48,942 Just why don't you get some dirty ones out the 995 01:00:48,944 --> 01:00:50,743 laundry basket or something? Why? 996 01:00:50,745 --> 01:00:52,378 [OPENING AND CLOSING DOOR SOUNDS] 997 01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:54,880 You've got to be shitting me! 998 01:00:54,882 --> 01:00:56,915 Graham. 999 01:00:56,917 --> 01:00:59,284 Cheers mate! 1000 01:00:59,286 --> 01:01:02,289 Hey, I told you I had it? 1001 01:01:04,792 --> 01:01:06,293 Now I have! 1002 01:01:08,428 --> 01:01:09,629 GRAHAM: What? 1003 01:01:15,702 --> 01:01:18,136 - What, I've got two. - Ugh. 1004 01:01:18,138 --> 01:01:20,173 I'd forgot it was in there, alright? 1005 01:01:25,410 --> 01:01:29,246 I have laid waste to your enemy my lady! 1006 01:01:29,248 --> 01:01:31,950 Vengeance is yours! 1007 01:01:34,752 --> 01:01:36,353 We're fucked mate. 1008 01:01:36,355 --> 01:01:37,954 You two should probably get out, 1009 01:01:37,956 --> 01:01:41,023 you know, before any of the others find their way in. 1010 01:01:41,025 --> 01:01:42,026 Yeah. 1011 01:01:50,368 --> 01:01:52,867 I'll never forget this. 1012 01:01:52,869 --> 01:01:55,373 Oh, right, Trev. Come on, let's go. 1013 01:01:59,942 --> 01:02:03,076 So long, Sir Brandt! 1014 01:02:03,078 --> 01:02:05,346 Farewell, brave Casim... 1015 01:02:05,348 --> 01:02:08,516 Oh, for fucks sake. Come on, Sir Wankalot. Let's go. 1016 01:02:08,518 --> 01:02:11,220 - Sorry. - Bye, Bobbi. 1017 01:02:17,392 --> 01:02:19,394 Thought you might need this. 1018 01:02:22,197 --> 01:02:24,297 I didn't know you cared. 1019 01:02:24,299 --> 01:02:26,000 Oh, don't be silly. 1020 01:02:28,502 --> 01:02:30,704 Well, I'm sorry about Harriet. 1021 01:02:31,772 --> 01:02:35,874 I'm sorry about. 1022 01:02:35,876 --> 01:02:37,878 - Graham. - Yeah. 1023 01:02:42,883 --> 01:02:45,884 [ROMANTIC MUSIC] 1024 01:02:56,529 --> 01:02:58,995 Graham? 1025 01:02:58,997 --> 01:03:00,563 I know my love. 1026 01:03:00,565 --> 01:03:04,101 This is the only end I could of wished for too. 1027 01:03:08,072 --> 01:03:10,939 I want 1028 01:03:10,941 --> 01:03:15,877 to ea-eaaa... 1029 01:03:15,879 --> 01:03:20,881 I, I want you. 1030 01:03:20,883 --> 01:03:23,152 I want you. 1031 01:03:31,227 --> 01:03:33,226 Come on, let's beat this thing. 1032 01:03:33,228 --> 01:03:35,996 [MOANING SOUNDS] 1033 01:03:35,998 --> 01:03:38,000 - Come on. - We should get going. 1034 01:03:39,268 --> 01:03:41,034 Were you serious about that threesome by the way? 1035 01:03:41,036 --> 01:03:42,469 Because, umm, if you were, 1036 01:03:42,471 --> 01:03:44,571 there might still be other people alive. 1037 01:03:44,573 --> 01:03:47,775 [ROMANTIC OPERA MUSIC] 1038 01:04:09,028 --> 01:04:12,031 [ROMANTIC OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES] 1039 01:04:29,981 --> 01:04:32,984 [OPERA MUSIC FADES OUT] 1040 01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:39,523 [BELL RINGING] [OMINOUS TONE] 1041 01:04:48,198 --> 01:04:49,199 Balls! 1042 01:04:52,468 --> 01:04:54,470 - Double balls! - Yeah! 1043 01:04:56,172 --> 01:04:59,473 Hey, numb nuts! 1044 01:04:59,475 --> 01:05:01,908 Say hello to my little friend! 1045 01:05:01,910 --> 01:05:02,909 Ahh! 1046 01:05:02,911 --> 01:05:05,914 [HIGH TEMPO PERCUSSION] 1047 01:05:07,483 --> 01:05:09,184 Ahhhhh! 1048 01:05:12,187 --> 01:05:14,522 Ain't no ice cream in your fucking future! 1049 01:05:16,157 --> 01:05:18,090 Doc! Thank God! 1050 01:05:18,092 --> 01:05:21,394 Well, don't thank him. I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting! 1051 01:05:21,396 --> 01:05:23,995 - Is this the wife? - Oh yeah, Bobbi. 1052 01:05:23,997 --> 01:05:26,398 - Bobbi Doc, Doc Bobbi. - Nice! 1053 01:05:26,400 --> 01:05:27,699 Hiya! 1054 01:05:27,701 --> 01:05:29,200 Why don't you take the lady, 1055 01:05:29,202 --> 01:05:32,169 and I will handle the rest of these fuckers! 1056 01:05:32,171 --> 01:05:34,071 Lady? 1057 01:05:34,073 --> 01:05:36,641 Ah, it's just a figure of speech, no offense intended. 1058 01:05:36,643 --> 01:05:38,610 No, none taken at all. 1059 01:05:38,612 --> 01:05:41,044 Wh-why don't you come with us? 1060 01:05:41,046 --> 01:05:44,615 No, I'm having too much fun. 1061 01:05:44,617 --> 01:05:47,550 But why don't you take her some place nice and quiet 1062 01:05:47,552 --> 01:05:49,986 and start to work on repopulating. 1063 01:05:49,988 --> 01:05:52,991 Looks like she's got some child-bearing hips. 1064 01:05:56,127 --> 01:05:58,527 I'll see you around. 1065 01:05:58,529 --> 01:06:00,531 Haaaaaaa! 1066 01:06:04,168 --> 01:06:06,301 So why can't you just be like Doc then, Trevor? 1067 01:06:06,303 --> 01:06:07,736 I'm not going to be like him. He's a weirdo. 1068 01:06:07,738 --> 01:06:10,038 Right. Well, you're meant to be the fucking hero. 1069 01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:12,073 Did you see him? He had, he had a bag full of vaginas 1070 01:06:12,075 --> 01:06:14,742 and who wears a cowboy hat outside bloody East London? 1071 01:06:14,744 --> 01:06:16,310 - Wel... - I, I'm taking you somewhere. 1072 01:06:16,312 --> 01:06:17,745 Alright? 1073 01:06:17,747 --> 01:06:19,480 I'm taking you somewhere safe, and things are going to be 1074 01:06:19,482 --> 01:06:21,249 better. We're going to be able to live off the land. 1075 01:06:21,251 --> 01:06:23,116 We're going to be able to start again. Everything's gonna 1076 01:06:23,118 --> 01:06:24,285 be great, alright? I promise you. 1077 01:06:24,287 --> 01:06:27,223 Everything's going to be incredibly, incredibly amazing. 1078 01:06:33,762 --> 01:06:36,230 So, this is your somewhere safe then? 1079 01:06:42,103 --> 01:06:46,070 Well, I like to say "get a life". 1080 01:06:46,072 --> 01:06:48,139 Precious commodity now. 1081 01:06:48,141 --> 01:06:51,144 Yeah, well maybe you're a sad excuse for one. 1082 01:06:54,247 --> 01:06:57,449 I'm glad you're still alive Trev. 1083 01:06:57,451 --> 01:06:58,452 Thanks. 1084 01:07:00,186 --> 01:07:01,687 Wait here. 1085 01:07:14,266 --> 01:07:15,434 Oh, Christ! 1086 01:07:17,769 --> 01:07:20,472 Trev? [INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER] 1087 01:07:24,609 --> 01:07:25,610 Trevor? 1088 01:07:27,445 --> 01:07:30,613 So? 1089 01:07:30,615 --> 01:07:31,781 TREVOR: Come in! 1090 01:07:31,783 --> 01:07:32,982 Cheers! 1091 01:07:37,688 --> 01:07:40,691 Well, at least it's not raining. 1092 01:07:41,692 --> 01:07:44,325 Well, only 'cau-cause your toys would get wet. 1093 01:07:44,327 --> 01:07:46,761 - They're not toys. - No. Well, yeah they are. 1094 01:07:46,763 --> 01:07:48,596 No, yo-you wouldn't understand. 1095 01:07:48,598 --> 01:07:51,632 No, Trevor. I understand. I understand that this is your 1096 01:07:51,634 --> 01:07:54,400 hide-out, and that you'll do anything else except prepare 1097 01:07:54,402 --> 01:07:55,603 for the fucking world to end. 1098 01:07:55,605 --> 01:07:58,171 But, yeah. I guess I should of seen that coming should I? 1099 01:07:58,173 --> 01:07:59,405 - Jesus! - Trevor, Trevor?! 1100 01:07:59,407 --> 01:08:02,442 How are we meant to survive if all you're doing is playing with 1101 01:08:02,444 --> 01:08:05,444 toys and brewing whatever the fuck are in them bottles? 1102 01:08:05,446 --> 01:08:08,113 It's not brewing, it's distilling! And it-it's vodka! 1103 01:08:08,115 --> 01:08:10,482 Right! Okay, then. Well, I'll tell you what we'll do. 1104 01:08:10,484 --> 01:08:13,820 We'll get really, really pissed on your moonshine, yeah? 1105 01:08:13,822 --> 01:08:16,688 And then with any luck, hopefully, hopefully we'll be 1106 01:08:16,690 --> 01:08:19,291 that fucking pissed we won't feel a thing when the zombies 1107 01:08:19,293 --> 01:08:22,360 come and fucking eat us! 1108 01:08:22,362 --> 01:08:23,427 - What is that? - Lea-leave it! 1109 01:08:23,429 --> 01:08:24,695 - What Is that? - Come on, I just came 1110 01:08:24,697 --> 01:08:27,198 in here deliberately before you so you wouldn't have to see it. 1111 01:08:27,200 --> 01:08:30,436 You don't want to see it. It's messy. 1112 01:08:33,806 --> 01:08:35,306 Are you protecting me? 1113 01:08:35,308 --> 01:08:36,840 No, I just don't want you throwing up in my shed. 1114 01:08:36,842 --> 01:08:39,843 - Are you being a gentleman? - Hardly. 1115 01:08:39,845 --> 01:08:42,345 Oh, Trevor! 1116 01:08:42,347 --> 01:08:43,813 The one that used to be so sweet. 1117 01:08:43,815 --> 01:08:46,181 - Don't be ridiculous - He's back! 1118 01:08:46,183 --> 01:08:47,519 Shut up! 1119 01:08:50,689 --> 01:08:54,557 Look Trevor, you know, you know about Harriet? 1120 01:08:54,559 --> 01:08:57,459 It's okay. I forgive you. 1121 01:08:57,461 --> 01:09:00,796 Really? Because I-I was afraid you were dead. 1122 01:09:00,798 --> 01:09:03,866 You know, I just wanted pleasure before I was too. 1123 01:09:03,868 --> 01:09:06,267 Totally understandable. 1124 01:09:06,269 --> 01:09:08,636 Ah, but, at least there weren't any men involved. 1125 01:09:08,638 --> 01:09:09,704 There is that. 1126 01:09:09,706 --> 01:09:12,506 And you weren't dead. 1127 01:09:12,508 --> 01:09:13,843 Not yet. 1128 01:09:16,445 --> 01:09:18,813 You know we could. 1129 01:09:18,815 --> 01:09:20,314 What? 1130 01:09:20,316 --> 01:09:22,917 Well, it's been a long time hasn't it? 1131 01:09:22,919 --> 01:09:25,919 Jesus Bobbi, are you trying to seduce me? 1132 01:09:25,921 --> 01:09:30,124 Oh, Trevor. I remember the time where you didn't need seducing. 1133 01:09:31,359 --> 01:09:34,927 What was it that you used to call it? 1134 01:09:34,929 --> 01:09:36,631 Staff of power. 1135 01:09:37,832 --> 01:09:39,599 - Oop! - Oh! 1136 01:09:39,601 --> 01:09:44,169 - There it is! Eeheehee haha - Oh. There it is! 1137 01:09:44,171 --> 01:09:46,671 - Ugh. Mmm. - Oh, Trevor. 1138 01:09:46,673 --> 01:09:49,808 God, it feels a bit cold you know. 1139 01:09:49,810 --> 01:09:53,179 Maybe I should get my warm mouth over it, yeah? 1140 01:09:56,916 --> 01:10:00,283 Ouch! For fucks sake! 1141 01:10:00,285 --> 01:10:02,786 Bastard fucking. 1142 01:10:02,788 --> 01:10:04,955 Christ almighty little shit! 1143 01:10:04,957 --> 01:10:08,257 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Careful with him! 1144 01:10:08,259 --> 01:10:10,861 - Careful with him? With him? - Can I, can I just have him? 1145 01:10:10,863 --> 01:10:14,196 It's a piece of metal you twat, that went straight into my leg. 1146 01:10:14,198 --> 01:10:16,766 Straight into my leg as I was about to suck your dick. 1147 01:10:16,768 --> 01:10:17,934 You ungrateful sod! 1148 01:10:17,936 --> 01:10:19,969 Please, just, just, just, just give him to me please. 1149 01:10:19,971 --> 01:10:21,436 Just, just, just let me have him. 1150 01:10:21,438 --> 01:10:24,239 Oh God, Gandalf the fucking gay! 1151 01:10:24,241 --> 01:10:25,242 Casimir. 1152 01:10:29,445 --> 01:10:31,812 Cas-im-there, now! 1153 01:10:31,814 --> 01:10:34,817 [GROWLING SOUNDS] [DRAMATIC TONE] 1154 01:10:37,787 --> 01:10:39,489 God damn it! 1155 01:10:41,557 --> 01:10:42,725 Woman! 1156 01:10:45,594 --> 01:10:47,894 - Shit! - Oh, please Trevor! 1157 01:10:47,896 --> 01:10:49,898 Man the fuck up! 1158 01:10:54,236 --> 01:10:56,603 Oh, shhhit! 1159 01:10:56,605 --> 01:10:59,472 [TENSE ORCHESTRAL] 1160 01:10:59,474 --> 01:11:02,341 They came back. 1161 01:11:02,343 --> 01:11:04,242 BOBBI: Back? Wh-what do you mean back? 1162 01:11:04,244 --> 01:11:05,746 Back here. 1163 01:11:06,781 --> 01:11:08,783 They're the allotment tenants. 1164 01:11:11,485 --> 01:11:14,953 Well, maybe they're headed somewhere familiar? 1165 01:11:14,955 --> 01:11:16,888 - Bit like yourself? - It's dawn of the dead Bobbi. 1166 01:11:16,890 --> 01:11:18,089 This isn't a fucking shopping mall! 1167 01:11:18,091 --> 01:11:21,291 Well, either way the gardeners are back. You know, you know 1168 01:11:21,293 --> 01:11:24,996 maybe the-they're hungry for some fleshier shit 1169 01:11:24,998 --> 01:11:26,563 than fucking cabbage. 1170 01:11:26,565 --> 01:11:27,734 Yeah. 1171 01:11:31,037 --> 01:11:32,236 Fuck. 1172 01:11:33,271 --> 01:11:37,406 Trev, you reckon we should shut the door lock? 1173 01:11:37,408 --> 01:11:39,742 Trev? 1174 01:11:39,744 --> 01:11:42,045 Fuck off. 1175 01:11:42,047 --> 01:11:43,748 Fuck off! 1176 01:11:45,683 --> 01:11:48,685 [INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP] 1177 01:11:56,059 --> 01:11:59,527 Shit, can't stop making it fucking hurt. 1178 01:11:59,529 --> 01:12:00,530 God. 1179 01:12:02,699 --> 01:12:05,701 [MOANING SOUNDS] 1180 01:12:12,808 --> 01:12:13,809 Fuck. 1181 01:12:25,820 --> 01:12:27,887 I bet every shed on this allotment has fucking 1182 01:12:27,889 --> 01:12:32,392 built in super cool zombie killing gun stuff. 1183 01:12:37,765 --> 01:12:40,466 You could of at least brought a golf club Trevor! 1184 01:12:48,909 --> 01:12:52,442 Trevor? Trevor say something. 1185 01:12:52,444 --> 01:12:54,446 Ma-maybe I'm immune. 1186 01:12:56,448 --> 01:12:59,451 [BANGING SOUNDS] 1187 01:13:07,691 --> 01:13:12,094 Ah, come Casimir! 1188 01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:16,365 We have been at odds for as long as I can recall, and 1189 01:13:16,367 --> 01:13:20,402 now I must offer you an Olive branch 1190 01:13:20,404 --> 01:13:22,704 in your time of need. 1191 01:13:22,706 --> 01:13:24,839 Along with some sage advice 1192 01:13:24,841 --> 01:13:27,875 to assist you in your predicament. 1193 01:13:27,877 --> 01:13:32,445 Thank you, Sir Brandt. I appreciate your counsel. 1194 01:13:32,447 --> 01:13:37,452 Do you recall the Autumn campaign some five years past? 1195 01:13:38,955 --> 01:13:43,890 Perhaps you can remind me of the particulars. 1196 01:13:43,892 --> 01:13:47,127 Hahaha. My Lady Morana, 1197 01:13:47,129 --> 01:13:50,563 great strategist that she was, 1198 01:13:50,565 --> 01:13:54,834 had ordered her main force to assault your castle, 1199 01:13:54,836 --> 01:13:58,536 whilst sending her seventh battalion of zombie volunteers 1200 01:13:58,538 --> 01:14:02,841 into the otherwise impenetrable swamp of Sagra since they would 1201 01:14:02,843 --> 01:14:06,845 be immune to the poisonous fumes therein. 1202 01:14:06,847 --> 01:14:10,448 Hahaha. Yes, I do recall. 1203 01:14:10,450 --> 01:14:14,985 A glorious pincer movement. Hahaha. She, uh, cleverly 1204 01:14:14,987 --> 01:14:16,987 fed you the information 1205 01:14:16,989 --> 01:14:20,123 by sacrificing her scouts 1206 01:14:20,125 --> 01:14:22,125 A worthy opponent. 1207 01:14:22,127 --> 01:14:25,095 Knowing that you would have to divide your forces and 1208 01:14:25,097 --> 01:14:29,465 fight a losing battle on two fronts. 1209 01:14:29,467 --> 01:14:30,900 But you, 1210 01:14:30,902 --> 01:14:34,503 you brave Casimir, 1211 01:14:34,505 --> 01:14:38,040 took it upon yourself to take on the seventh alone, 1212 01:14:38,042 --> 01:14:41,978 from a hillside overlooking the swamp, by hurling balls 1213 01:14:41,980 --> 01:14:44,980 of fire into the combustible lowlands, 1214 01:14:44,982 --> 01:14:48,717 incinerating the entire battalion single-handed. 1215 01:14:48,719 --> 01:14:50,785 Yes. Yes! 1216 01:14:50,787 --> 01:14:53,654 before returning to your men and 1217 01:14:53,656 --> 01:14:56,157 successfully repelling my attack. 1218 01:14:56,159 --> 01:14:59,692 Yes, yo-you, you're saying I should leave Bobbi. 1219 01:14:59,694 --> 01:15:02,196 No you twat! Well that as well probably. 1220 01:15:02,198 --> 01:15:05,400 I'm saying you should torch the fuckers! 1221 01:15:08,237 --> 01:15:10,603 I've got it. I know what we have to do. 1222 01:15:10,605 --> 01:15:11,606 What? 1223 01:15:13,541 --> 01:15:15,574 Right, they're all round the front, yeah? 1224 01:15:15,576 --> 01:15:16,742 And? 1225 01:15:16,744 --> 01:15:18,810 We douse the shed in Trevoff. 1226 01:15:18,812 --> 01:15:19,878 Trevoff? Fucking hell. 1227 01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:22,915 We douse the shed in Trevoff, open the front door, 1228 01:15:22,917 --> 01:15:25,717 climb out the back, make a break for it, I'll make one into 1229 01:15:25,719 --> 01:15:27,920 a molotov. We'll chuck it in. Burn them to death. 1230 01:15:27,922 --> 01:15:30,756 More death. You, you know. Just, they won't do anything. 1231 01:15:30,758 --> 01:15:31,758 Yeah. 1232 01:15:38,131 --> 01:15:41,134 [MUSICAL BUILD UP] 1233 01:15:50,142 --> 01:15:53,145 [CONTINUOUS BANGING SOUNDS] 1234 01:16:04,554 --> 01:16:07,058 I'm saving one so we can celebrate later. 1235 01:16:11,996 --> 01:16:14,999 [GLASS CLINKING SOUNDS] 1236 01:16:27,810 --> 01:16:30,813 You know it only takes one of us to open the door? 1237 01:16:33,682 --> 01:16:35,948 I'm not leaving you. 1238 01:16:35,950 --> 01:16:37,652 Yes, you are. 1239 01:16:39,053 --> 01:16:41,821 Like you said you might be immune. We can't know for sure. 1240 01:16:41,823 --> 01:16:43,055 - Trevor? - We can't assume. 1241 01:16:43,057 --> 01:16:45,891 assume makes an ass out of you and me. That's a famous phrase. 1242 01:16:45,893 --> 01:16:47,026 Trevor? 1243 01:16:47,028 --> 01:16:51,230 - Assumption is the mother of... - Trevor! 1244 01:16:51,232 --> 01:16:53,934 God, you know better than to argue with me. 1245 01:16:57,270 --> 01:16:59,639 Just don't let me become one of them. 1246 01:17:07,612 --> 01:17:11,283 And you were right. I did start smoking to annoy you! 1247 01:17:15,121 --> 01:17:17,123 Right, just go. You'll be alright. 1248 01:17:19,624 --> 01:17:22,627 Just don't make me ask you again, alright? Now, go! 1249 01:17:26,630 --> 01:17:28,233 I said, go! Go. 1250 01:17:31,068 --> 01:17:34,071 [UPLIFTING EPIC MUSIC] 1251 01:17:41,245 --> 01:17:44,247 [MOANING AND GROWLING SOUNDS] 1252 01:17:54,123 --> 01:17:57,223 BOBBI: You fucking bitches! 1253 01:17:57,225 --> 01:18:00,228 BOBBI: [INDISCERNIBLE CHATTER] 1254 01:18:03,198 --> 01:18:06,201 [PAINFUL SCREAMING SOUNDS] 1255 01:18:19,413 --> 01:18:22,416 [EPIC MUSIC FADES OUT] 1256 01:18:26,287 --> 01:18:29,287 [THUNDER SOUNDS] 1257 01:18:29,289 --> 01:18:32,292 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1258 01:18:45,036 --> 01:18:49,439 NARRATOR: In the months that passed, Trevor learned to tend the land. 1259 01:18:49,441 --> 01:18:53,876 To survive. He'd all but forgotten Casimir. 1260 01:18:53,878 --> 01:18:56,812 Hell, he'd become Casimir. 1261 01:18:56,814 --> 01:18:58,948 A bloody hero, as much as any 1262 01:18:58,950 --> 01:19:03,952 man alone can be. The real heroes he often 1263 01:19:03,954 --> 01:19:07,856 reflected as he worked, were those that died so 1264 01:19:07,858 --> 01:19:12,861 that he might live. Bobbi. Graham. He would always 1265 01:19:12,863 --> 01:19:14,865 remember their sacrifices. 1266 01:19:22,704 --> 01:19:24,204 DOC: They're not human anymore. 1267 01:19:24,206 --> 01:19:28,210 They're dead. When you see 'em, you kill 'em. 1268 01:19:31,980 --> 01:19:33,980 And I hope you'd do the same for me? 1269 01:19:33,982 --> 01:19:36,781 'Cause I don't wanna be one of the living dead. 1270 01:19:36,783 --> 01:19:39,254 I wanna be one of the dead, dead. 1271 01:19:42,123 --> 01:19:45,924 NARRATOR: And he'd eventually learn the most basic of lessons 1272 01:19:45,926 --> 01:19:49,161 for surviving a zombie apocalypse. 1273 01:19:49,163 --> 01:19:54,165 When you find a good weapon, you bloody well hold on to it! 1274 01:19:54,167 --> 01:19:57,170 [HIGH TEMPO DRUMS] 1275 01:20:00,742 --> 01:20:04,774 Subtitles by explosiveskull 1276 01:20:04,776 --> 01:20:07,076 ♪ YOU'VE BEEN SAYING 1277 01:20:07,078 --> 01:20:11,447 ♪ THERE'S NO WORST THING THEN SISTERS CRYING IN THEIR SLEEP ♪ 1278 01:20:11,449 --> 01:20:14,986 ♪ DYING ON THEIR FEET TO TAKE YOU HOME ♪ 1279 01:20:19,390 --> 01:20:23,325 ♪ DAD IS THINKING THAT I'VE BEEN DRINKING ♪ 1280 01:20:23,327 --> 01:20:25,928 ♪ MY WAY BACK TO YOU 1281 01:20:25,930 --> 01:20:29,934 ♪ MY WAY BACK TO YOU ONE MORE TIME ♪ 1282 01:20:33,904 --> 01:20:38,039 ♪ I HEAR YOUR LAUGHTER BUT ALL I'M AFTER ♪ 1283 01:20:38,041 --> 01:20:40,408 ♪ IS THE TEAR IN YOUR EYE 1284 01:20:40,410 --> 01:20:44,414 ♪ IT'S MY WINGS I CAN FLY THAT'S IN THEIR WORLD ♪ 1285 01:20:48,917 --> 01:20:52,918 ♪ DAYLIGHT'S FADING BUT I'M STILL WAITING ♪ 1286 01:20:52,920 --> 01:20:57,290 ♪ YOUR HAND ON MY HEART. TEARING LONG AND APART ♪ 1287 01:20:57,292 --> 01:20:59,261 ♪ LIKE YOU DO 1288 01:21:03,532 --> 01:21:08,534 ♪ HEEEY-EEY, I PICK UP THE PIECES BABY ♪ 1289 01:21:08,536 --> 01:21:13,371 ♪ DRY YOUR EYES AND TAKE YOU HOME ♪ 1290 01:21:13,373 --> 01:21:16,007 ♪ LOCKED OUT 1291 01:21:16,009 --> 01:21:20,347 ♪ NOTHING MOVES AROUND HERE ♪ 1292 01:21:22,082 --> 01:21:24,083 ♪ WITHOUT YOU 1293 01:21:37,963 --> 01:21:40,363 ♪ I KNOW YOU STOLEN 1294 01:21:40,365 --> 01:21:44,433 ♪ THE SHADOWS FALL BEHIND THAT OLD FAMILIAR PAIN ♪ 1295 01:21:44,435 --> 01:21:48,039 ♪ OF ME STRANDED AGAIN IN YOUR HEART ♪ 1296 01:21:52,410 --> 01:21:56,478 ♪ THE BOAT IS SINKING AND I'M STILL DRINKING ♪ 1297 01:21:56,480 --> 01:21:59,180 ♪ MY WAY BACK TO YOU 1298 01:21:59,182 --> 01:22:03,052 ♪ MY WAY BACK TO YOU ONE LAST TIME ♪ 1299 01:22:07,491 --> 01:22:12,493 ♪ HEEYEYY! I PICK UP THE PIECES BABY ♪ 1300 01:22:12,495 --> 01:22:17,163 ♪ DRY YOUR EYES AND TAKE YOU HOME ♪ 1301 01:22:17,165 --> 01:22:19,533 ♪ LOCKED OUT 1302 01:22:19,535 --> 01:22:23,905 ♪ NOTHING MOVES AROUND HERE ♪ 1303 01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:27,975 ♪ WITHOUT YOU 1304 01:22:41,188 --> 01:22:44,190 [GUITAR SOLO] 1305 01:23:00,938 --> 01:23:04,942 [SOMBER ORCHESTRATION] 1306 01:23:25,195 --> 01:23:29,199 [ORCHESTRA CONTINUES] 1307 01:23:48,950 --> 01:23:52,954 [INTENSE DRUMS] 1308 01:24:06,400 --> 01:24:10,404 [TEMPO SPEEDS UP] 1309 01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:32,323 [INENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP] 1310 01:24:52,575 --> 01:24:56,579 [RAPID VIOLIN] 1311 01:25:10,225 --> 01:25:14,229 [ORCHESTRA FADING OUT] 1312 01:25:20,268 --> 01:25:24,271 [INTENSE MUSICAL BUILD UP] 1313 01:25:39,284 --> 01:25:42,820 [MUSIC FADES OUT] 1314 01:25:42,822 --> 01:25:45,023 [DRONING SOUND] 94897