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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,527 --> 00:00:04,360 All right, Professor Proton fans, 2 00:00:04,429 --> 00:00:06,629 get ready to meet Dr. Sheldon Cooper 3 00:00:06,698 --> 00:00:10,166 and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, a pair of real-life scientists 4 00:00:10,235 --> 00:00:12,702 who may win the Nobel Prize. 5 00:00:12,770 --> 00:00:14,737 That's like the Kids' Choice Award, 6 00:00:14,806 --> 00:00:19,141 but with more science and less slime. 7 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:20,676 Hi, thanks for having us. 8 00:00:20,745 --> 00:00:21,978 Kids' Choice Award? 9 00:00:22,046 --> 00:00:23,746 Why would they let kids choose anything? 10 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,682 They're basically human larvae. 11 00:00:26,751 --> 00:00:29,318 Well, they are kind of our target audience. 12 00:00:32,957 --> 00:00:34,924 Greetings, children. 13 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,493 Toys, am I right? 14 00:00:37,562 --> 00:00:40,663 He is. He has hundreds of them. 15 00:00:40,732 --> 00:00:42,265 So you two have discovered something 16 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:44,600 that a lot of people are really excited about. 17 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:46,102 (chuckles) We have. 18 00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:47,737 Now, before you explain it, 19 00:00:47,805 --> 00:00:51,407 keep in mind that our average viewer is this many. 20 00:00:51,476 --> 00:00:55,278 Okay, imagine you're looking in a mirror. 21 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,847 The image you see looks just like you. 22 00:00:57,915 --> 00:00:59,882 That's called symmetrical. 23 00:00:59,951 --> 00:01:02,351 Now imagine you have a billion mirrors, 24 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:05,288 and each of them reflects one thing about you correctly 25 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,890 and a billion things about you incorrectly. 26 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,226 And imagine the set of incorrect things 27 00:01:10,295 --> 00:01:13,729 are floating in an abstract n-dimensional hyperspace. 28 00:01:13,798 --> 00:01:17,733 Now imagine there was never a mirror to begin with. 29 00:01:19,337 --> 00:01:20,569 Oh, was that a doorbell? 30 00:01:20,638 --> 00:01:21,937 I didn't hear anything. 31 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,808 (doorbell rings) 32 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:28,210 Huh, there it is again. 33 00:01:28,279 --> 00:01:29,578 Sheldon, why don't you answer it? 34 00:01:29,647 --> 00:01:31,881 But I don't know who it is. 35 00:01:31,949 --> 00:01:35,818 Maybe it's a special guest who I invited just to surprise you. 36 00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,920 Why don't you open it up and find out. 37 00:01:37,989 --> 00:01:40,089 This is a terrible message to send to children. 38 00:01:40,158 --> 00:01:41,490 Children, you never open the door 39 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:43,392 if you don't know who's on the other side. 40 00:01:43,461 --> 00:01:45,494 You always make your mommy or daddy do it 41 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,763 while you hide under the bed and try to imagine 42 00:01:47,832 --> 00:01:50,900 what your superhero name will be when you avenge their deaths. 43 00:01:50,968 --> 00:01:53,669 I'll get it. 44 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,905 But it can't be The Silver Shadow-- that's mine. 45 00:01:58,376 --> 00:02:00,009 Hello. 46 00:02:02,213 --> 00:02:05,181 Captain on the bridge! Captain on the bridge! 47 00:02:06,484 --> 00:02:07,950 You're William Shatner. 48 00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:09,285 You can call me Bill. 49 00:02:09,354 --> 00:02:10,686 Ooh, can I call you Captain? No. 50 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,655 Please? No. 51 00:02:12,724 --> 00:02:14,757 (whispers): Please? 52 00:02:14,826 --> 00:02:16,125 Sure. 53 00:02:17,662 --> 00:02:20,029 And w-will you call me Science Officer Cooper? 54 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,864 This has got to stop. 55 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,700 I think you know how to make it stop. 56 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:27,303 Put her there, Science Officer Cooper. 57 00:02:29,674 --> 00:02:32,608 Put her there, Science Officer Cooper. 58 00:02:32,677 --> 00:02:36,178 (Sheldon vomits) 59 00:02:36,247 --> 00:02:38,547 Oh, poor Shatner. 60 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,983 Poor Shatner? I have to eat lunch now. 61 00:02:41,052 --> 00:02:44,153 Look, Sheldon's pretty embarrassed, 62 00:02:44,222 --> 00:02:45,788 so when he gets here, we should... 63 00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:48,190 Make fun of him? (chuckles) A lot. 64 00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:49,992 Guys, don't you think that's a little mean? 65 00:02:50,061 --> 00:02:50,708 Yeah. 66 00:02:50,732 --> 00:02:52,295 Okay, just so we're all on the same page. 67 00:02:52,296 --> 00:02:53,396 Yeah. 68 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:54,797 - Hello. OTHERS: Hey. 69 00:02:54,866 --> 00:02:56,532 So, Sheldon, did you get 70 00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:58,946 William Shatner's autograph, or maybe his dry cleaning bill? 71 00:02:58,970 --> 00:02:59,902 (chuckles) 72 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,304 Very funny, get it all out. 73 00:03:02,373 --> 00:03:03,873 Like you did on William Shatner? 74 00:03:05,943 --> 00:03:08,010 Raj, do you have something to add? 75 00:03:08,079 --> 00:03:11,080 You brought shame upon yourself and your family. 76 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:14,150 It's not funny, but it's true. 77 00:03:14,218 --> 00:03:17,019 I will admit the meeting did not go the way I wanted. 78 00:03:17,088 --> 00:03:20,189 (à la Shatner): Because you barfed where no man has barfed before? 79 00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:24,860 Well, the next time I meet him, it will go better. 80 00:03:24,929 --> 00:03:27,696 Next time? What makes you think there's gonna be a next time? 81 00:03:27,765 --> 00:03:30,833 Wil will give me another chance. He thinks the world of me. 82 00:03:30,902 --> 00:03:33,035 Aw. One of the reasons I love you 83 00:03:33,104 --> 00:03:35,738 is you actually believe that. 84 00:03:35,807 --> 00:03:37,247 Thank you. 85 00:03:37,248 --> 00:03:40,248 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x16 ♪ The D & D Vortex Original Air Date on Feb 86 00:03:40,249 --> 00:03:43,579 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 87 00:03:43,648 --> 00:03:46,882 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 88 00:03:46,951 --> 00:03:48,451 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 89 00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:51,253 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 90 00:03:51,322 --> 00:03:53,756 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 91 00:03:53,825 --> 00:03:56,459 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 92 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:58,360 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 93 00:03:58,429 --> 00:03:59,962 ♪ Bang! ♪ 94 00:03:59,986 --> 00:04:06,986 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 95 00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:12,567 Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. 96 00:04:12,636 --> 00:04:14,569 Wil Wheaton. 97 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:20,742 (doorbell rings) 98 00:04:20,811 --> 00:04:22,177 Wil Wheaton. 99 00:04:22,246 --> 00:04:23,445 (doorbell rings) Wil Wheaton. 100 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:24,446 (doorbell rings) 101 00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,982 Wil Wheaton. 102 00:04:27,051 --> 00:04:29,584 Now's not a good time, Sheldon. 103 00:04:29,653 --> 00:04:32,587 For what? You. 104 00:04:32,656 --> 00:04:35,257 I need to apologize. 105 00:04:35,326 --> 00:04:37,259 Apology accepted. MAN: Wil, come on, 106 00:04:37,328 --> 00:04:38,427 I cast fireball, 107 00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:40,028 you need to roll your dexterity save. 108 00:04:40,097 --> 00:04:41,463 I'll be right there. 109 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:43,765 Are you playing Dungeons & Dragons? 110 00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:45,300 - No. MAN 2: Would you hurry up, 111 00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,269 man, the map says this dungeon's 112 00:04:47,338 --> 00:04:50,105 full of dragons. 113 00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:53,608 Still no. Who are you playing with? 114 00:04:53,677 --> 00:04:56,144 Ugh... it's just some friends, you don't know them. 115 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,145 SHATNER: Wheaton, get back here. 116 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,480 Hobgoblins are at the gate, 117 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:02,317 and you're at the door buying Girl Scout Cookies. 118 00:05:04,588 --> 00:05:06,388 Is that William Shat...? Nope. 119 00:05:10,461 --> 00:05:13,462 Hey, you guys want to read my fan fiction mash-up, 120 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,130 "Captain Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"? 121 00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,700 - Nope. - No. - Certainly not. 122 00:05:18,769 --> 00:05:20,202 You don't even know what it's about. 123 00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:21,636 Is it about a superhero 124 00:05:21,705 --> 00:05:23,405 who finds her voice by doing stand-up? 125 00:05:23,474 --> 00:05:26,508 That's so much better than what I had. 126 00:05:27,644 --> 00:05:30,545 Mine is just a Jewish girl that flies. 127 00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:33,415 I'd read that. 128 00:05:33,484 --> 00:05:35,817 Guys, guys, Wil Wheaton 129 00:05:35,886 --> 00:05:38,020 hosts a secret celebrity D&D game. 130 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,388 How do you know? Who was there? 131 00:05:39,456 --> 00:05:41,089 Why are you damp? 132 00:05:41,158 --> 00:05:43,492 I was trying to peek in Wil's window, 133 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,027 and he turned the sprinklers on. 134 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,563 Oh, that means they must be really famous. 135 00:05:48,632 --> 00:05:50,499 I'm almost positive I heard William Shatner. 136 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,768 I wonder who else is playing. 137 00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:56,538 I-I bet we can use graph theory to determine who Wil knows 138 00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,907 and who is likely to play D&D. Yes. 139 00:05:58,976 --> 00:06:03,879 Okay, obviously he's connected to the whole Next Gen cast... 140 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:07,082 So this is the rest of our night, huh? 141 00:06:07,151 --> 00:06:09,117 Oh, no, 142 00:06:09,186 --> 00:06:11,453 this is the rest of our lives. 143 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:17,759 And Josh Brolin gets you to every Avenger. 144 00:06:17,828 --> 00:06:19,895 Kevin Smith's in this article 145 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,396 about celebrities who play D&D. 146 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,931 Oh! A-And he was on Wil's podcast, 147 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,599 so they know each other. 148 00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:25,934 G-Go on his Instagram, 149 00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:27,163 see if you can find anything. 150 00:06:27,204 --> 00:06:29,037 Yeah, he-he posted something an hour ago: 151 00:06:29,106 --> 00:06:30,572 "#GameNight." 152 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:33,442 That looks like Wil's house. 153 00:06:33,510 --> 00:06:34,943 William Shatner, 154 00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,145 Kevin Smith-- who else could be there? 155 00:06:37,214 --> 00:06:39,581 Do you see what I see over his shoulder? 156 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:42,284 Is that a ghost? 157 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,454 I think it's Stuart. 158 00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:51,159 That is Stuart. What-What's he doing there? 159 00:06:51,228 --> 00:06:53,161 Maybe he died in Wil's house 160 00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,831 and he can't leave until he solves his own murder. 161 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:01,103 Why would Wil invite Stuart and not us? 162 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,004 I know the answer. Yeah. 163 00:07:03,073 --> 00:07:04,940 We all know the answer. 164 00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,622 Hey, guys. 165 00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:23,125 You're home late. 166 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,427 Uh, yeah. 167 00:07:25,496 --> 00:07:29,164 I had a crazy night. I went to the pharmacy. 168 00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:32,300 I like to be there when the new decongestants drop. 169 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,469 Cut the crap. We know where you were. 170 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:35,871 We know what you were doing. 171 00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:40,041 Yeah, I just told you. I was at CVS breathing my ass off. 172 00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:41,354 Oh, you were breathing, all right. 173 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,378 You were breathing the rarefied air of celebrities. 174 00:07:43,447 --> 00:07:44,691 I don't know what you're talking about. 175 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:45,881 Then why are you trembling? 176 00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:47,716 I'm always trembling. 177 00:07:47,784 --> 00:07:49,551 We know you were at Wil's D&D game. 178 00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:50,685 We saw you on Instagram. 179 00:07:50,754 --> 00:07:52,332 We just want to know how you got invited. 180 00:07:52,356 --> 00:07:56,525 I can't talk about it or they won't invite me back next week. 181 00:07:56,593 --> 00:07:58,226 So there's another game next week. 182 00:07:58,295 --> 00:08:00,295 I didn't mean to say that. 183 00:08:00,364 --> 00:08:02,164 Who's in it? I can't tell you! 184 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,666 How do we get invited? I don't know! 185 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,169 How many hit dice are they playing the wereboar as having? 186 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:10,805 12d8 + 24-- I mean, I don't know! 187 00:08:13,777 --> 00:08:15,710 (phone ringing) 188 00:08:16,980 --> 00:08:18,513 Hey, Stuart. 189 00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,662 I don't want to play anymore. It's too much pressure. 190 00:08:22,152 --> 00:08:24,586 Why, what happened? I've-I've said too much. 191 00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:26,321 You haven't said anything. 192 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:29,491 Not to you, to them. Who's them? 193 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,260 Ah! Now I have said too much! 194 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,332 But y-you blocked your number, right? 195 00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:38,533 Relax, 196 00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:42,003 this is not my first creepy phone call. 197 00:08:42,072 --> 00:08:45,607 It's like riding a bike... slowly past a girl's house. 198 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,410 WHEATON (over phone): Hello. 199 00:08:48,478 --> 00:08:49,611 (imitating Shatner): Wil, 200 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,246 Bill Shatner here. 201 00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:55,951 Is this Howard? 202 00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:59,521 Of course not. It-It's Shatner. 203 00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:03,191 If you don't believe me, ask my good friend, Christopher Walken. 204 00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:05,961 (imitating Walken): Hello, Bill and I are just 205 00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:09,431 hanging out... 206 00:09:09,499 --> 00:09:11,466 at The Polo Lounge. 207 00:09:11,535 --> 00:09:15,103 Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken, here are your martinis. (glass dings) 208 00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:16,449 (whispering in normal voice): What are you doing? 209 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,151 I'm filling out the world. You're ruining it. 210 00:09:18,175 --> 00:09:19,741 No, he's not. 211 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:22,577 Thanks, Wil. 212 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,798 Sheldon, why are you walking everywhere? Just get a horse. 213 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:34,956 I had a horse. It got hit by a train. 214 00:09:35,025 --> 00:09:36,291 Get another one. 215 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,792 I can't just replace Chauncey. 216 00:09:37,861 --> 00:09:39,894 I'm still in the grieving process. 217 00:09:39,963 --> 00:09:42,631 (phone ringing) 218 00:09:42,699 --> 00:09:43,999 Hey. 219 00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:46,468 Hey, Leonard, I have an opening in my D&D game next week, 220 00:09:46,536 --> 00:09:48,648 and I was wondering if you were interested in playing. 221 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,171 Well, yes, thank you. 222 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,773 Okay, great. 223 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:54,075 Now, here's the thing, you can't tell anyone. 224 00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:55,844 I'm serious, not Howard, not Raj, 225 00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:57,512 and certainly not Sheldon. 226 00:09:57,581 --> 00:09:58,947 Okay. 227 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:00,360 I'm really sorry to put you in a position 228 00:10:00,384 --> 00:10:01,316 where you have to lie to your friends... 229 00:10:01,385 --> 00:10:03,285 See you there! 230 00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:07,322 You come face to face with a massive monster 231 00:10:07,391 --> 00:10:08,923 with a gaping maw 232 00:10:08,992 --> 00:10:13,862 full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. 233 00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:16,131 What do you do? 234 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,367 Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. 235 00:10:21,004 --> 00:10:23,104 Here's the plan... 236 00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:25,273 Hold on there, Bill. 237 00:10:25,342 --> 00:10:26,808 Now what, Kareem? 238 00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:31,846 How do we know it's not a Neo-otyugh? 239 00:10:31,915 --> 00:10:33,348 Same way I know the difference 240 00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,050 between an owlbear and a bugbear. 241 00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:37,018 Does that answer your question? 242 00:10:37,087 --> 00:10:39,387 No. 243 00:10:43,093 --> 00:10:44,559 Look, there's one way to settle this: 244 00:10:44,628 --> 00:10:46,161 we chop it up and look at the pieces. 245 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,064 Oh, come on, why do you always got to attack everything? 246 00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:50,443 Why can't we just try talking to it? 247 00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:54,569 Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk. 248 00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:56,671 What do you think, Leonard? 249 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:04,479 I think this is the greatest day of my entire life. 250 00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:08,016 It's all right, buddy, one day you'll meet a girl. 251 00:11:16,472 --> 00:11:17,904 Hey, how was your lecture? 252 00:11:17,973 --> 00:11:19,983 Oh, it was so good. 253 00:11:19,984 --> 00:11:22,251 I-I-I mean, it-it started great, 254 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,720 and then the, the middle was great, 255 00:11:24,789 --> 00:11:26,400 and then the ending was like... (imitates explosion) 256 00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:27,424 So great. 257 00:11:30,061 --> 00:11:34,597 Leonard, if you went to House of Pies again, just say it. 258 00:11:34,665 --> 00:11:36,109 (stammers) Wait, if you think I'm lying, 259 00:11:36,133 --> 00:11:37,413 why do you think I'm eating pies? 260 00:11:37,468 --> 00:11:40,102 Why don't you think I'm... having an affair? 261 00:11:40,171 --> 00:11:43,539 Listen, i-it's fine, just next time, bring me a slice. 262 00:11:43,608 --> 00:11:47,109 Okay, well, if you really want to know, 263 00:11:47,178 --> 00:11:48,677 I'll tell you where I was. 264 00:11:48,746 --> 00:11:51,447 I was at Wil's D&D game, but that's all I can say. 265 00:11:51,515 --> 00:11:54,116 Oh, fun. Were there famous people there? 266 00:11:54,185 --> 00:11:58,087 Ah, sorry, I-I-I can't tell you that. 267 00:11:58,155 --> 00:12:00,055 Okay, well, yes, 268 00:12:00,124 --> 00:12:03,959 but I-I-I-I can't tell you who. 269 00:12:04,028 --> 00:12:05,961 Well, no, I-I can tell you Shatner, 270 00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:08,197 but that's only because you already knew that one. 271 00:12:08,265 --> 00:12:09,798 Well, I'm glad you had fun. 272 00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,400 Yeah. 273 00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,736 Ugh, I wish I could tell you who else was there. 274 00:12:13,804 --> 00:12:15,804 (chuckles) I can't, I promised. 275 00:12:15,873 --> 00:12:18,407 Yeah, if it makes you feel better, I couldn't care less. 276 00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,743 That's true, 277 00:12:20,811 --> 00:12:23,045 you don't care, so there's no harm in telling you. 278 00:12:23,114 --> 00:12:24,813 Okay, you really don't have to. 279 00:12:24,882 --> 00:12:27,416 All right, I'll tell you. Uh... 280 00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,218 (stammers) Kevin Smith was there, 281 00:12:29,286 --> 00:12:32,921 and-and, uh, this really tall guy named Kareem. 282 00:12:32,990 --> 00:12:35,891 Wait-wait, K-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? 283 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,094 I don't know, it was, uh, Kareem something Jabbar. 284 00:12:41,332 --> 00:12:42,831 How do you know him? 285 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,466 How do you not know him? 286 00:12:44,535 --> 00:12:47,069 Well, I know him now 'cause he was there. 287 00:12:47,138 --> 00:12:48,070 Wow. 288 00:12:48,139 --> 00:12:50,973 That is so cool. 289 00:12:51,042 --> 00:12:52,641 Oh, a-and that, uh, the guy that played 290 00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:54,076 the werewolf on-on True Blood, 291 00:12:54,145 --> 00:12:56,912 he was there. Wh-- Joe Manganiello? 292 00:12:56,981 --> 00:13:01,483 Uh, yeah. From Magic Mike? 293 00:13:01,552 --> 00:13:04,186 What's that? 294 00:13:04,255 --> 00:13:06,321 Okay, okay, 295 00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:10,826 did he look... like this? 296 00:13:10,895 --> 00:13:13,629 He had his clothes on, but, yeah. 297 00:13:13,698 --> 00:13:14,997 (sighs) 298 00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:16,665 I can't believe you met Joe Manganiello. 299 00:13:16,734 --> 00:13:17,966 Is he nice? Oh, he's so nice. 300 00:13:18,035 --> 00:13:21,003 I-I-I rolled my dice underneath the couch, 301 00:13:21,072 --> 00:13:24,373 and he just lifted it up, one hand. 302 00:13:24,442 --> 00:13:27,309 Oh, I-I bet he did. 303 00:13:29,847 --> 00:13:32,014 Hi. Okay, can you guys keep a secret? 304 00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:33,215 Yeah. Sure. 305 00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:35,651 Good, 'cause I can't. 306 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,820 Leonard played Dungeons & Dragons 307 00:13:37,888 --> 00:13:39,321 with the hot guy from Magic Mike. 308 00:13:39,390 --> 00:13:42,958 I never got to see that movie. Seriously? 309 00:13:43,027 --> 00:13:44,460 Yeah, Howie made us leave 310 00:13:44,528 --> 00:13:46,495 as soon as he realized it wasn't about magic. 311 00:13:47,798 --> 00:13:51,166 Well, I have seen that movie one or seven times, 312 00:13:51,235 --> 00:13:53,168 and trust me, it is magic. 313 00:13:55,039 --> 00:13:57,339 - Which guy? - That one. 314 00:13:57,408 --> 00:13:59,875 Abracadabra. 315 00:14:01,979 --> 00:14:04,646 Hey, you know what was fun? 316 00:14:04,715 --> 00:14:07,516 That time we played Dungeons & Dragons. 317 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:11,587 That was fun. We should play that more. 318 00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:15,858 Sorry, what now? 319 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,165 Hey, what are you guys doing here? 320 00:14:23,234 --> 00:14:25,667 Oh, I, uh, think Sheldon might have left something. 321 00:14:25,736 --> 00:14:27,870 Oh, you mean, besides his lunch? 322 00:14:27,938 --> 00:14:29,571 (laughter) 323 00:14:31,142 --> 00:14:33,742 You are so funny, Wil. 324 00:14:33,811 --> 00:14:37,045 We were just talking about how funny you are. 325 00:14:37,114 --> 00:14:38,781 Yeah, Leonard told you, didn't he? 326 00:14:38,849 --> 00:14:40,282 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Yup. - Yeah. 327 00:14:40,351 --> 00:14:41,950 It's Manganiello? 328 00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:43,585 - Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 329 00:14:43,654 --> 00:14:44,887 Feel good about yourselves? 330 00:14:44,955 --> 00:14:46,889 - Nope. - No. - Yeah. 331 00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:51,860 Oh, we're going with no? No. 332 00:14:54,165 --> 00:14:56,865 Hey, guys. 333 00:14:56,934 --> 00:14:58,700 What are you smiling about? 334 00:14:58,769 --> 00:15:00,936 What? This is my regular face. 335 00:15:01,005 --> 00:15:02,905 No, it's not. 336 00:15:02,973 --> 00:15:05,808 Y-Your regular face is more like this... 337 00:15:07,878 --> 00:15:12,648 No, no, i-it's-it's more in the eyebrows, like this... 338 00:15:15,519 --> 00:15:18,287 (chuckles) Okay, make your jokes. 339 00:15:18,355 --> 00:15:19,721 I'm still in a great mood. 340 00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:22,257 (phone ringing) 341 00:15:22,326 --> 00:15:24,927 Hey. 342 00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:26,328 Wait, what? 343 00:15:27,531 --> 00:15:30,265 Why? 344 00:15:30,334 --> 00:15:33,001 Oh, come on, but... 345 00:15:34,138 --> 00:15:37,840 O-Okay, fine. 346 00:15:37,908 --> 00:15:40,809 Huh, Raj was right, it is more in the eyebrows. 347 00:15:42,079 --> 00:15:43,412 What was that all about? 348 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,280 Wil kicked me out of his D&D game. 349 00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,784 You were in Wil's D&D game? 350 00:15:48,853 --> 00:15:50,686 With William Shatner? And you didn't tell us? 351 00:15:50,754 --> 00:15:53,488 I'm sorry, Wil made me promise not to. 352 00:15:53,557 --> 00:15:55,123 I thought we were friends. 353 00:15:55,192 --> 00:15:57,459 Oh, come on, you guys would do the same thing. 354 00:15:57,528 --> 00:15:59,127 No, we wouldn't! I told you when I was 355 00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:00,762 in spin class with Scarlett Johansson. 356 00:16:00,831 --> 00:16:02,798 It didn't even turn out to be Scarlett Johansson. 357 00:16:02,867 --> 00:16:05,634 Well, that's her fault, not mine! 358 00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,135 It doesn't matter 359 00:16:07,204 --> 00:16:10,038 because Penny blabbed about it and now I'm out. 360 00:16:11,575 --> 00:16:14,109 So there's an open seat. 361 00:16:15,446 --> 00:16:17,012 Wil! Wil Wheaton! 362 00:16:17,081 --> 00:16:19,014 Open! Open! 363 00:16:20,584 --> 00:16:22,784 No. No. No. 364 00:16:22,853 --> 00:16:24,152 Hell no. 365 00:16:24,221 --> 00:16:27,789 Look, we know Leonard is out. You need to fill a seat. 366 00:16:27,858 --> 00:16:30,192 It should be one of us. 367 00:16:30,261 --> 00:16:31,627 Or give me another chance. 368 00:16:31,695 --> 00:16:34,296 I think me and Joe Manganiello were really hitting it off. 369 00:16:34,365 --> 00:16:37,332 Joe Manganiello was there? From Magic Mike? 370 00:16:37,401 --> 00:16:40,068 You guys suck. 371 00:16:40,137 --> 00:16:42,070 Agreed. You guys suck. Let's go, Wil. 372 00:16:42,139 --> 00:16:43,672 No. 373 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:46,408 All of you. 374 00:16:46,477 --> 00:16:48,310 You're just trying to use me 375 00:16:48,379 --> 00:16:50,145 to get close to my famous friends. 376 00:16:50,214 --> 00:16:51,813 Do you know how that makes me feel? 377 00:16:51,882 --> 00:16:54,049 Flattered? (chuckles) 378 00:16:54,118 --> 00:16:56,051 Used. 379 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,354 I was gonna guess that. 380 00:16:59,423 --> 00:17:01,390 One of the worst things about being a celebrity 381 00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:04,760 is you never know if people like you for you. 382 00:17:04,828 --> 00:17:08,230 Well, thanks for letting me know. 383 00:17:08,299 --> 00:17:09,731 (sighs) 384 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,401 You're right, that was really crappy of us. 385 00:17:12,469 --> 00:17:16,238 Yeah, I guess we just got caught up in the excitement. 386 00:17:16,307 --> 00:17:19,174 We're sorry, Wil. We do like you for you. 387 00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:20,676 And if it makes you feel 388 00:17:20,744 --> 00:17:22,984 any better, I don't even really consider you a celebrity. 389 00:17:28,652 --> 00:17:31,086 Should we go or do you want to wait for the sprinklers? 390 00:17:38,171 --> 00:17:40,038 Guys, I-I still feel a little bad about Wil. 391 00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:41,306 Me, too. 392 00:17:41,374 --> 00:17:44,742 Yeah. We should invite him to come play with us. 393 00:17:44,811 --> 00:17:46,945 Ask him to bring some chips 394 00:17:47,013 --> 00:17:48,546 because we're all out. 395 00:17:48,615 --> 00:17:50,548 (stammers) Hey, Wil, this is Leonard. 396 00:17:50,617 --> 00:17:51,783 (gasps) Make it Bugles. 397 00:17:51,851 --> 00:17:53,351 No, no, no, no, no, pretzel sticks. 398 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,852 No, no, no, Bugles. 399 00:17:55,989 --> 00:17:57,789 We're gonna play some D&D 400 00:17:57,857 --> 00:17:59,168 and thought you might want to join us. 401 00:17:59,192 --> 00:18:00,403 Thank you, Leonard, but actually 402 00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,060 I can't do it tonight. 403 00:18:02,128 --> 00:18:04,062 Uh, how about another time? 404 00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:06,898 Okay, great. Thanks. Bye. 405 00:18:06,967 --> 00:18:08,900 Okay, where were we? 406 00:18:12,272 --> 00:18:16,374 I was about to go all Wrath of Khan on the ogres. 407 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:17,909 Oh, man, that's it. 408 00:18:17,978 --> 00:18:20,778 Put another dollar in the Star Trek jar, Bill. 409 00:18:20,847 --> 00:18:23,314 Worth it. 410 00:18:24,718 --> 00:18:28,886 Speaking of putting dollars in things... 411 00:18:31,891 --> 00:18:34,392 I loved you in Magic Mike. 412 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,461 (chuckles) Thanks. (chuckles) 413 00:18:36,529 --> 00:18:38,062 Switch places with me. 414 00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:43,668 Are we playing musical chairs or Dungeons & Dragons? 415 00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:47,171 Yeah, let's teach that ogre what my broadsword tastes like. 416 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,508 I like your moxie. 417 00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:53,411 Aw, and I like your grandpa words. 418 00:18:59,319 --> 00:19:02,820 My dad and I watched you win back-to-back championships. 419 00:19:02,889 --> 00:19:07,025 And I watched you sniff Joe's hair when he wasn't looking. 420 00:19:11,097 --> 00:19:13,431 Thank you again for inviting us, and don't worry, 421 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,966 we won't tell the guys. 422 00:19:15,035 --> 00:19:17,468 You know what, why don't you tell the guys? 423 00:19:17,537 --> 00:19:19,303 In fact, let's all take a picture 424 00:19:19,372 --> 00:19:20,872 and send it to them right now. 425 00:19:22,776 --> 00:19:26,444 (phones buzzing) 426 00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,279 That's weird. 427 00:19:33,019 --> 00:19:35,319 We deserve that. 428 00:19:38,257 --> 00:19:45,257 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 31270

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