Original subtitles

(♪ Instrumental jazz playing)

(Recording) 'Stop, thief!'

'Stop, thief! Stop, thief!'

'Stop, thief!'

'Stop, thief! Stop, thief!'

'Stop, thief!'

'Stop, thief! Stop, thief!'

'Stop, thief!'

'Stop, thief! Stop ...'

'Unless my security device is reset,'

'I am timed to self-destruct in 15 seconds.'

'14 ...'

'My security device is now primed.'

'I will give audible warning of any unauthorised contact.'

(Mother) I am in a creative mood, Rhonda. Trundle me.

Top secret memorandum to Grandma.

Subject: the transmission of vital secrets,

codes, currencies, plans

and other sundry items used by the other side.

It is vital to both security and the nation

that all agents should get their priorities right.

We have found that these items are situated in an attaché case

which is being passed hand-to-hand by a chain of enemy agents,

number unknown ...

destination of the case unknown.

We have, however, located its first delivery point,

which at this very moment of time is under the surveillance

of Tara King and Captain Andrews.

- Morning. - Morning, Miss King.

- Well, we're all set. - Anything happened yet?

Not a lot. Take a look.

- Well, what do you see? - Just a man on a bike.

- Nothing else? - No, nothing else.

Good.

Considering I've got 30 men staked out in the area,

that's a considerable achievement.

Who's the man on the bike?

He's the second link in the chain.

If my information is correct,

somebody will be bringing him the case very soon.

- And then we'll jump on him. - Oh, no, we won't.

No, we shall let the transfer take place.

Then a specialised team will follow the case

through all its exchanges until it reaches its final recipient.

- And that's the man we're after? - That's right.

- The man at the top. - Mr Big.

- The mastermind. - The arch villain.

Exactly.

You've got enough equipment here to launch a moon shot.

- Anything approaching on the detector? - No.

- Is that the man on the motor bike? - That's right.

How are you going to follow him after he makes the pick-up?

I've got cars parked on all the roads round here,

two helicopters permanently in the air.

We shall stay closer to him than his shadow

and he'll never even know it.

That's a definite contact.

All units?

'Intruder approaching from the north-west.'

He should be inside by now. Report.

- 'Nothing visible.' - 'Area clear.'

- 'Nothing in sight.' - 'All clear. Nobody in the area.'

I've got a definite reading less than 300 yards out now.

'Still nothing.'

'Nobody in the area. Section clear.'

- 'All clear.' - 'Nothing visible.'

They must see him now.

Phillipson, he's very near you now.

'Absolutely nothing, sir. Nothing in sight at all.'

He's less than 100 yards out.

'I'm sorry, sir. There's nobody.'

What's happening, Andrews?

Who have you got out there? The Invisible Man?

(Andrews) He's still coming. 50 yards now.

(Tara) Nobody could get this close. (Andrews) Somebody's doing it.

- He's still coming. - He's almost here.

It's a dog.

- 'A dog?' - 'It's a dog. Look, it's a dog.'

- 'A dog?' - 'A dog?'

A dog?

(Growling)

He's seen us. Pick him up. Stop him!

The lock, that's this here.

The lock has been designed to take a number of keys.

Each key will turn the lock just a few degrees.

- (Tara) That looks like a tape recorder. - That's my guess.

Can't you break it open?

Up here, that's over here, that's an explosive charge.

Nothing too powerful but enough to destroy the case if it's tampered with.

Now, behind all of this is a screen,

and behind the screen is a compartment.

Well? What's in it?

I don't know as yet. We'll have to get a few more X-rays.

Excuse me. Miss King, he's conscious now.

- Oh, thank you. Can he talk? - You'll have to be quick.

- Have you found anything? - No.

- Nothing to help find the next contact? - No.

- What about keys? - Ah, yes, there's some keys.

But they don't fit.

Trent, can you hear me?

Where were you going to take the case?

Who's next in the chain?

Trent, who gives you your instructions?

The case.

It's all in the case.

- I wonder why he took the jacket off. - Oh, no idea.

"Love."

Love laughs at locksmiths.

- Look. Look at this one. - What do you think, Major?

Could be. It could be.

- Do you want to chance it? - What have we got to lose?

(Recording) 'Take me to Room 27 at the Cremorne Hotel, Sloane Street.'

'A reservation has been made in the name of Richard Strauss.'

'Take me there at once.'

'I will issue further instructions in precisely one hour's time.'

'That is all.'

Morning, everybody. Beautiful day.

I'd like you all to meet Mr Strauss,

Mr Richard Strauss.

I don't imagine it figures prominently on the list of the world's great hotels.

Oh, I don't know. It has a sort of faded gentility.

It's probably full of lovely old ladies in lavender lace

who sit sipping tea and remembering.

- Remembering what? - Whatever old ladies remember.

Think I should come in with you?

No, they're expecting Richard Strauss. I'd better do it alone.

You'd better hurry. The hour's almost up.

Oh, yes. The little man in here is due to deliver his next message.

- Mm. - I'll be back.

Watch out for the old ladies.

'Attention. Your contact will arrive within the next three hours.'

'Put me out of sight in the wardrobe and make yourself comfortable.'

'Thank you for your cooperation. That is all.'

'You will take me to 11, Heston Avenue, at 8 o'clock this evening.'

'You will ask for Miss Graham. That is all.'

Number 11.

- If I'm not back in ten minutes ... - I'll come looking.

By the way, that was good work, getting this back.

(Woman) And up and round and up and round,

and round and round and up and round!

And up and round and round and round

and up and up and round!

And up and round and round and round and up and ...

Good evening.

And all the little fairies are getting tired, very tired.

And rest.

- And a few moments of free expression. - Ow!

- Full of high spirits, aren't they? - Yes, very.

Your set piece now, fairies, from your tableau.

Very interesting tableau. What is it? Custer's Last Stand?

Wings, Beryl. There's a good fairy.

Long, Audrey Long, Miss.

Steed, John Steed, Mister.

Beryl, now stop that!

- All destined for the Bolshoi? - Oh, gosh, no. Shouldn't think so.

They're pretty awful, but I teach them what I can.

(Steed) I see you include karate in your curriculum.

(Audrey) Beryl!

All right, you little ... fairies.

On your feet and away for the day.

The sandman's coming.

Run along home, then. Off you go to your little ... cages.

Sorry about that.

Excuse me.

(Screams)

Had to get that out of my system.

If I didn't do that at least once every day, I'd massacre them.

Oh. You haven't got a little monster?

I mean, a dear, sweet child you wish to enrol?

Oh, no, no. Actually, I came to try and find a Miss Graham.

Miss Graham? Oh, you mean Sally!

- So she is here? - Mm. I'll fetch her for you if you like.

Sally?

Visitor for you.

How do you do? I'm Sally Graham.

Oh.

Oh, er, I'm extremely pleased to meet you, Miss Graham.

My name is Steed, John Steed.

I see you've brought my case, Mr Steed.

Er, yes.

Thank you very much. I've enjoyed meeting you.

- Good night, Mr Steed. - Good night.

Now, all you little fairies, be quiet as you go out.

- All on your tippy toes. - Good night.

Nighty-night!

Excuse me. I have to change. Jolly nice meeting you.

Jolly nice ... Um, Miss ...

Ah, Miss Graham, Sally.

Er, Sally, where's the case?

- What case, Mr Steed? - Let me put it another way.

How would you like 20 large lollipops like that one?

Are you trying to bribe me, Mr Steed?

- In a word ...yes. - Oh, good.

Frankly, my susceptibility to bribes is one of my few failings.

Then we both know where we stand.

Good, then let's talk money and not lollipops.

10 shillings?

- £25. - 25?

You wouldn't want to take advantage just because I'm a little girl.

I see your point. Now, if you can get me that case ...

It's here, Mr Steed.

I wish you'd waited a minute longer, Auntie Audrey.

- A girl can do a lot with £25. - Come on, darling.

Aren't we going to weight him and toss him in the river?

Not today, darling.

Aren't we even going to empty his wallet?

How do you feel?

As thought Nijinsky was dancing a pas brisé inside my head

wearing hob-nail boots.

You've got everything under control.

Well, I've got the case.

Look in her handbag for the key.

- You'd be wasting your time. - Why?

- I know where it is. - You do?

Well, why don't you tell Uncle John and Auntie Tara?

And then we'll give you a lovely present.

Don't waste time on little-girl talk.

I should think she's one of the Gnomes of Zurich.

- How much? - Same price.

£25 invested in blue-chip equities could show a high yield

by the time I'm 21.

(Steed) If you reach it.

- Thank you. - The key?

Help me up.

I am queen of the fairies and when I wave my magic wand,

all your wishes will be granted. Alakazan kazam!

'You will take me to the telephone box in Cranleigh High Street.'

'You will stand in the box at 9 o'clock when I will issue further instructions.'

'That is all.'

Alakazan kazam.

Oh, Sally, just remember one thing. Money isn't everything.

Oh, Mr Steed. Don't shatter a little girl's illusions.

Auntie Audrey? Audrey?

Time to get up. And don't feel too bad.

I've cut you in for 5%.

Ah, Colonel Stonehouse. Is this a social visit?

I'm afraid not. But then, neither is it an official visit.

Just one department head talking to another.

- Off the record? - Exactly.

May I be frank?

I admire it. I abhor hyperbole.

This man, the man at the top, the one to whom we hope the case will lead us.

What about him?

A number of people believe that he's a person of considerable trust.

- A view I share myself. - Yes.

A number of people also ... I hope you won't misunderstand,

but a number of people think ...

That the man at the top is me?

Oh, yes, Colonel.

It's my job to acquaint myself with all rumours,

however malicious or unpleasant.

Yes, I know that I am the number one suspect.

Needless to say, I do not subscribe to this theory.

You'd be a darn fool if you didn't.

This case has been running on now for 18 months.

Four of my agents have been killed.

I'm in a position to lay false trails, betray my own men.

Oh, now, Colonel.

I think I make a very good number one suspect.

And you make a very good number two.

- Me? - That's what they're saying.

But this is outrageous.

How dare they? Me?

Once these rumours start, like this wine, they leave an aftertaste.

The only way to eradicate them is total success.

Our reputations depend on the real traitor being uncovered.

That's a burden I don't want Steed to know he's carrying.

For the moment, all that matters is

that he doesn't let that case out of his sight for one second.

'Your next contact has already passed the telephone box and identified you.

'You will now go to a place of safety where the transfer can be made.'

'Your contact will follow you. That is all.'

I like that.

I like your style.

We'd make a pretty good team.

If this is what you came for, take it and get out.

There's no big rush. Relax, sweetheart.

Look, you pour out some drinks. Let's talk a little.

Some other time.

- When? - I don't know.

I'll tell you what, I could come back later tonight.

The only thing I have to do is deliver the case.

Well, that might take hours.

Never has yet.

Well, where do you have to take it?

I shan't know until I've used my key.

Well, why don't you use it now? If it's not too far, I might come with you.

Not even for you, sweetheart.

Where I keep my key and where I go are strictly top secret.

I don't mind.

I tell you what.

You, er ...

You put a little wine on ice,

you play a little soft music, you change into something tight,

and I'll be back before you know it.

I'll be here.

Don't lose him, Steed.

'You will take me to Room 6 in Colton House.'

'Before doing so, however,'

'there is a matter of security to be taken care of.'

'You will kill your last contact.'

'Repeat, you will kill your last contact.'

That didn't take long, did it?

I'm sorry about this, sweetheart.

I really am sorry.

What are you talking about?

I liked your style.

I really did like your style.

And why the past tense?

- Turn around. - Now, listen!

I said turn around!

It's the eyes.

I don't like looking at the eyes when I do it.

You're not going to kill me, are you?

We could have had something rather good going for us.

Keep looking straight ahead.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Believe me, I really am sorry.

(Gunshot)

You, hands above your head.

You, on your feet.

You, woman, up!

Right down.

You, hands above your head.

Stop.

You, woman! Hands above your head.

- Who are you? - Steed, security.

We've been watching the woman for some time,

but picking you up is quite a bonus.

Hands behind your back.

- (Whispers) Jump me. - What?

Jump me.

Try that again, young lady ...

Right.

That should hold you.

Now, what have we got around here?

(Whispers) Try and grab the rope with your free hand.

- Where do I take it? - What?

The case. I'll grab it and try and make a break for it.

I can't tell you.

Now, listen, the only important thing is to get that case to its next contact.

Just a minute.

I'm free. Now, quickly. There's not much time. Where?

Where?

Room 6, Colton House.

I like your style, sweetheart.

6, Colton House.

Is that what you want to know, Mr Steed?

You're a genius, Miss King.

I'm sorry, sweetheart, really sorry.

I was right about one thing.

She certainly has style.

No, let me look at that.

Now at that one.

Just as I thought. Something in that case has shifted position.

- Yes, you're right. - Any idea what it is?

It's certainly not built-in.

Well, then, it's whatever it is that has to be delivered.

Yes, that's probable.

I'll send up some prints to forensics. They might come up with something.

Let me know as soon as you hear.

- Anything? - Not yet.

I've been thinking ...

The chances of following that case through to its final destination

must be 99 to 1 against.

Well, I wouldn't put them that high.

However, I do anticipate difficulty.

Let's face it, Mother.

The purpose of the chain of couriers is to make it impossible to follow.

It's a brilliant concept and quite infallible.

Well, it's worth a try.

I'm sure Steed and Tara are making progress.

- Then why haven't we heard? - Probably too busy to get near a phone.

6, Colton House.

- I can't go in there. - Oh, come on, Steed.

Just because he's a karate expert, that's no reason to ...

I know that man. It's Tim, Captain Tim. And he knows me.

Well, he won't know if his contact is supposed to be a man or a woman.

- That's a fair assumption, but ... - But?

You've just seen what he can do. Now, be careful.

- Excuse me ... - Kiai!

This is a man's club.

That's nice.

Kiai!

You're not a man.

It's decent of you to have noticed.

Kiai...

That's my part of the job done.

- Where did you get this? - You're not supposed to ask me that.

- I am asking. - Well, I'm not telling.

Let me put it this way.

My contact's name would be Cavell.

Oh, that's my name, Tara Cavell.

You?

Yes. I'm sorry I don't have any papers to prove it.

- We can do better than this. - Really?

You see, I know something else about my contact.

- You do? - Heard a lot about Cavell.

Cavell is supposed to be the only person in the world

who can beat me in a fight.

All right, Cavell,

prove it.

Prove it.

(Clang)

If anyone had told me, I'd never have believed it.

- What? - You.

That last blow.

What did you hit me with? An iron bar?

You're good, very good. Superlative even.

And I'm Tara Cavell.

- I'm convinced. - Good.

- Oh! - What's the matter?

My leg, I think it's broken.

Oh? Your knee, do you think?

- That's it. - What?

It means you'll have to do it.

- Do what? - Take the case onto the next contact.

I can't do that. It's against the rules.

Yeah, but this is an emergency.

I mean, you don't expect me to hop there, do you?

Please, will you? For me.

Well, all right.

You wouldn't like to do me another favour, would you?

What's that?

Don't tell anybody you beat me.

It will be our secret.

(Thud)

Well, you must admit, it was no trouble at all getting this key.

'Take me to 84, Patrick Street,'

'and leave me there at midnight precisely.'

(Whirring)

No one home.

Come on in.

It's a wild guess

but I'd say that our contact ... was a musician.

Brilliant. Try another deduction. A man or a woman?

Definitely.

Well, shall we wait or come back later?

Oh, no, the case was quite specific.

We have to hand it over at precisely midnight.

Well, we've got five minutes to go. We'll wait.

- How many more, do you think? - How many more what?

How many more contacts before we reach the man at the top?

It's hard to tell but I should think we're pretty close.

Oh, that's beautiful.

It is?

You can tell that at a glance.

It's made by pupil of Stradivarius. Oh, the patina!

That mellow glow, that's been achieved by hundreds of years of caressing.

That's the work of a master.

- There's a label inside. - Probably the maker's signature.

Mm.

The East India Plywood and Timber Box Company Limited.

- Oh. - (Footsteps)

Someone coming. Quick, quick, quick.

How do you do?

Let me make my position clear.

I'm opposed to physical violence,

so to avoid unpleasantness, why don't you tell me where the key is?

This is no time for a clarinet solo.

'A' sharp, I imagine.

You should've delivered it and left. Now I'll have to kill you.

I was curious to know where you kept the key.

It's all in here, man. All you have to do is play the right notes.

That's a sad epitaph for a musician.

"He died flat."

What about the key?

He said that all you had to do was to play the right notes.

He was about to pick up one of these before he went to the curtains.

- A sonic key. - What?

You know the things they fix in garages?

The doors open in response to the sound from a motor horn.

You mean the key is a note played on this?

A note or a combination of notes.

(No sound comes out)

- I thought you could play the tuba. - Eh?

- You've got one in your apartment. - That's to put flowers in.

(Plays a tune)

I didn't know you could play the trumpet.

First time.

Hold this.

That's very good.

But it's no use. There must be hundreds and thousands of combinations.

As far as I know, they're still searching for the lost chord.

'At precisely 8 a.m., you will deposit me outside the luggage loading bay'

'at King's Cross Station.'

'That is all.'

We have to face it. It's evident that Steed has failed.

I will not concede defeat until I am defeated.

It was a slim chance by any standard.

Nil desperandum, Stonehouse. Chin up and all that sort of rot.

We've identified the object in the case.

- Well? - Half a million pounds in notes.

- You know what this means. - The final pay-off.

They won't use the system again. If we don't pin down Mr Big this time ...

Then we'll never get him.

'Take me to St Bartholomew's Church.'

'Deposit me in the Cunningham family crypt.'

'That is all.'

The Cunningham family crypt.

'I thank you for your cooperation in bringing me here.'

'Unfortunately, in the interests of security,'

'sacrifices have to be made.'

'I am a substitute case, designed to mislead any pursuers.'

'To maintain security it is necessary that you do not survive.'

'The crypt is hermetically sealed and I will shortly emit a poisoned gas.'

'To make your last minutes more comfortable,'

'I contain a small gift.'

'Thank you and goodbye.'

'Stop, thief! Stop, thief!'

'Unless my security device is reset,'

'I am timed to self-destruct in ten seconds.'

'Nine, eight, seven, six, five,'

'four, three, two, one, zero.'

Well, this is a surprise.

It's dastardly to bring the case here.

Here!

They were obviously trying to cast suspicion on you.

It might have worked if I hadn't been involved.

Well, you're certainly no traitor.

Despite your little foibles, you're above suspicion.

Thank you very much for saying so.

- Foibles? - The problem is ...

What foibles?

Now, how will Mr Big collect that from here?

Well, let us see what might have happened.

You might have been relieved from your assignment.

And the case given into the custody of one of our people.

That's it. That's how he'll collect it.

Now, someone will come here and ...

I rushed over as soon as I heard the news.

So it's true, then. Back to square one.

It gives me a chance to conduct more tests.

- Not just yet, Glasgow. - Why waste time?

Ah. So that's the case.

Yes, but no sign of the man it was destined for.

I've been thinking about that. The money.

Might be a chance of tracing it to give us one end of the chain.

- Possibly. - Perfectly.

You're forgetting one thing.

We can't open the case, not without destroying the contents.

Nonsense. My bomb disposal boys have handled trickier things than this.

They ought to be given the opportunity.

'My final collection is long overdue.'

'I must assume that I have fallen into the wrong hands.'

'I will self-destruct myself and my contents in 15 seconds.'

'14, 13,'

'12,11,'

'10, 9, 8, 7, 6 ...'

- A little trap we set up. - And you swallowed it.

That rather surprised us.

We did you a disservice, old chap. We thought it was you.

So it was me all along. Doesn't matter now.

There's enough here to enable me to disappear.

Goodbye, Steed, Mother.

(Tyres screech)

(Hissing)

(Tara) He's opened the wrong case.

(Steed) 'Tara, it just won't work.'

'There's not room in my apartment for Fang the Wonder Dog and me.'

'I hope you don't mind but I've packed his case'

'and I'm sending him to you for his holidays.'

(Tara) 'Steed, I hope I'm not doing you an injustice,'

'but I have a nasty, sneaky suspicion you're going to get me to adopt Fang.'

'Hard luck. I'm spending the weekend with my aged aunt in Cheltenham.'

(Steed) 'I'm sure you'll both get along well.'

'He's a teeny bit fussy with his food.'

'Likes venison, steak tartare and vintage port.'

'Other than that, he's no trouble at all.'

(Tara) 'Now, don't get me wrong, I like Fang.'

'But I wouldn't be able to give him the exercise he needs.'

(Steed) 'A ten-mile romp morning and evening is all he wants.'

'It'll do you both good.'

(Tara) 'There's nowhere for him to sleep.'

(Steed) 'You'll find he'll curl up anywhere.'

'Just toss an old mink jacket into a corner and he'll be happy.'

(Tara) 'Whatever you say, the answer's no.'

'No. No!'

- (Steed) 'I knew you'd understand.' - (Barking)

'Just one more thing ...'

'He will insist on inviting all his friends around to stay.'

(Tara) 'It shouldn't happen to a dog.'

(Barking continues)