Original subtitles

(Squealing)

(Whistling)

(Squealing)

- What makes you so sure he'll come? - Money.

Jimmy Merlin would sell his own and his aged grandmother's soul

if the price were right.

He'll come.

Merlin worked for us once.

Us, them, they, whoever pays the highest price.

A double agent?

Quadruple would be nearer the mark.

He's the artiste supérieur of the double, double, double,

double cross.

- But this time we've got him. - If he shows up.

He's showing up now.

- That's not like you. - One doesn't take chances with Merlin.

He's as tricky, devious and cunning as they come.

And dangerous. Now, don't forget that.

Don't be taken in by his particular brand of charm.

- Who's he expecting to meet? - One of them.

- To make a deal? What kind ... - Shh.

(Knock at door)

Well, well, well. What have we here?

Hello, Merlin.

Steed?

I wasn't expecting to see you.

I know what you were expecting, so I laid it on for you.

You?

(Laughs)

Jolly good, jolly good. Nice element of surprise too.

I particularly admire your partner. She's fast.

And pretty, remarkably pretty.

You didn't exaggerate a bit, you know.

About your personal brand of charm.

Forewarned is forearmed.

Yes, what a pity.

Well, what happens now?

I think that you go away for a long, long while.

Oh, come on. On what basis can you possibly ...

On the basis that you broke into a secret establishment,

that you stole a capsule of newly developed sleep gas.

- Where's your evidence? - You'll want to sell it

so perhaps you've brought the evidence with you.

Do you mind, Tara?

You haven't lost your touch, Steed. Relentless and thorough as ever.

- Nothing. - I really have to hand it to you.

(Merlin cackles)

(Phone rings)

Hello?

Hello?

21st?

I've been asleep a whole day.

21st?

Tara? Tara!

Wake up, Merlin. Wake up!

We're going for a little ride, you and I.

- A ride? - Yes, just a short trip.

- I'm sleepy. I want to sleep. - Oh, don't worry about that.

You'll soon be all tucked up in a nice cosy cell.

I don't want to go. I want to sleep. I want to stay up there.

Where are we going?

I told you.

Surely you haven't forgotten.

I beg your ...

Oh, yes, I remember.

Relax.

Take a good look at the view.

It may be the last time you'll see it for quite a while.

(Horn beeps)

We'll walk.

- Any chance of making a deal? - I shouldn't have thought so.

(Merlin) 20,000 in a Swiss bank. No names, no strings.

- Pounds? - Yes.

Very sorry, old chap. Only deal in guineas.

- (Merlin) I could throw in a yacht. - I've had one.

- My private plane? - It's lonely up there.

- String of Arab ponies. - Prefer Palominos.

(Merlin) Well, how about a villa in France?

- Whereabouts? - Saint-Tropez.

Prefer Provence.

(Merlin) Isn't there anything you want?

Yes, there's one thing I want very much.

You behind bars.

Well, someone left in a hurry.

- What's going on? - Something's wrong.

Very wrong.

Hello? Hello!

Do you think the world's ended and they forgot to tell us?

What day is it?

- Tuesday 21st. - Eh?

The 21st. We've been asleep for one whole day.

21st?

- It's not a holiday, is it? - No.

A holiday would hardly explain why the streets are empty.

- And what about this place? - Deserted.

Abandoned.

Perhaps they all went to the moon.

Wherever they went, it was very hastily decided upon.

They had no time for preparation.

(Alarm bell rings)

Do you think the whole town is empty?

Perhaps. I don't know.

I've got it. That sleep capsule. More powerful than we thought.

It spread right across the town, put everybody out.

- And the bodies just evaporated? - Well, you know what they say.

One man's meat is another man's poison.

You've got me, Steed. No one to hand me over to.

The operative phrase is,

"I've got you."

Ah, yes. I was coming to that.

(Whistle blows)

Well, then.

What have we here?

Corporal!

Firing party into line!

Take aim!

No! No, no! Please! Please don't! No!

- Fire! - (Gunfire)

- All quiet up top, sir. - Good, Sergeant.

- Any problems? - One, sir.

Oh, don't worry, sir. Dealt with him. No fuss, sir.

- What is it? - Sergeant Hearn, sir.

Seems to have run into a spot of bother up top.

- Report, Sergeant. - Sir.

On carrying out a street surveillance, we ran across an unauthorised person.

I summarily dealt with him according to my orders.

I shot him as a looter.

- Who was he? - Sir?

The man you shot. Didn't you get his identity?

- No, sir. - Then do so.

- Yes, sir. - Right away, Sergeant.

- Right away. - Yes, sir.

Nobody stays on in this area without good reason.

I want to know why and I want to know who.

Why is it so important to find out who he is?

Harold Thomas Cartney.

Cartney? Now, that seems to ring a bell.

An alarm bell. People are shooting people round here.

So I've noticed.

I'm trying to find out why.

Does it matter why?

(Vehicle approaching)

- Come on. - But we don't know what's going on.

- Wouldn't it be safer to sit tight? - Infinitely.

- Well, then? - Tara King.

You said you admired my choice of partner.

You said she was a remarkably pretty girl.

She's on her own now and she's very, very vulnerable.

Right, men.

Search of immediate area. Move!

(Engine starting up)

(Whistle)

Right, lads. On the move.

(Hearn) Come on there, you!

Halt!

Took advantage of the emergency, eh?

- Emergency? - Trying to make a break for it, eh?

- We'd be very grateful if you'd ... - Silence!

Yes, but can you not ...

Right, men, if he speaks again, shoot him.

John Steed and Harold Cartney. Which are you?

John Steed, but ...

You took this from the dead man back there, didn't you?

Didn't you?

- I did, yes, but ... - Looting.

I had nothing whatsoever to do with ...

- You are both guilty of looting. - Guilty?

When's the trial? Didn't see a judge.

I am the judge. The sentence is death.

- It will be carried out immediately. - He means it.

Firing party into line!

Drop your guns.

Tell them to drop their guns.

- Do as he says. - Now yours.

Right, stand clear.

(Shouting)

Intruders in the area, sir. Two men. They got away, sir.

Report, and make it coherent.

Sir. Two men.

Unauthorised, sir. Stole a vehicle, sir.

They won't get far. All roads are blocked.

- Which way are they headed? - Think they went north.

- Major, you handle this. A full platoon. - Yes, sir.

Use method. Cross-plot the entire area.

- Comb every inch. - Yes, sir.

Do you want them alive for questioning, sir?

I most certainly do not. Shoot them.

After a proper firing party has been convened.

- Yes, sir. - Right, off you go.

It's quieter on foot. We'll sneak back.

Sneak back? Give me three good reasons why.

Tara's still there and I want to find out what's going on.

- I said three. - I'm extremely stubborn.

Well, I'll give you three.

I'm not a hero, they're not paying me

and whatever's going on, I'm not curious about it.

- They were going to kill us. - They didn't, though.

- I don't find that encouraging. - (Whistle)

Oh, Steed, let me off the hook.

- Let me take my chance alone. - I wouldn't hear of it.

- I'm too young to die. - You're over 21.

If I were 80, I'd still feel the same.

- The British army. - Eh?

The sergeant and his firing squad, they're British army.

- Is that supposed to make it better? - It makes it official.

- So I know who to complain to. - He mentioned the emergency.

Fine gift of understatement.

It fits. Houses empty, cars abandoned, martial law.

Oh, it's an insane nightmare.

I'm not even getting paid for it.

What is the emergency? It must be something pretty drastic.

The emergency is us. How do we get away from here?

Or, as you seem to have a death wish, how do I get away from here?

You don't. The situation changes nothing.

That's what I admire about you, your flexibility.

(Vehicle approaching)

- I'm your prisoner, right? - Right.

- So I'm your responsibility, right? - Right.

- It's your duty to take care of me, right? - Wrong.

What? Well, what about the rules?

You know there are no rules in this game, Merlin.

- Don't you want to see what's going on? - No.

Right, then.

Is it any good asking you not to destroy the film?

You see, it's more than a scoop. It's history.

Confiscate it if you must, lock it up, but please don't ...

What on earth's going on here?

I wish someone would tell us.

Right, men, on the double.

Move yourselves.

You honestly don't know.

(Steed) No, we don't know. Do we? (Merlin) No.

Yates.

- Oh, how do you do? - How do you do?

I think they're telling the truth but it's fantastic.

It's not really fantastic. We've been asleep for 24 hours.

- Whatever happened happened then. - And we missed it.

It's incredible that you don't know. The whole world knows.

I hate the whole world having us at a disadvantage.

- I'm not going to tell you. - Oh, do tell us.

We can do better than that. We can show you.

I am Jenny Firston, by the way. Television news.

We came to cover the event and when everyone was ordered out ...

We stayed on, been sneaking round the streets,

getting what shots we can.

OK, ready for replay.

Now, this is what you would have seen if you hadn't been asleep yesterday.

(Beeping)

'This is Jenny Firston,'

'reporting from the town the whole world is watching.'

'Soon this typical English town will be a ghost area.'

'Cars are still pouring out in their thousands.'

'The jams are building up and owners are abandoning their cars'

'and hurrying away to special coaches standing by for the evacuation.'

'And as the inhabitants leave,'

'as they abandon homes and possessions,'

'so troops, special shock troops, take over.'

'A state of emergency has been declared.'

'Within 30 minutes, this town and 50 square miles surrounding it'

'will be evacuated.'

'This town will become a ghost area, empty,'

'save for the troops.'

'The area is now under martial law,'

'and here you see the man who will remain in sole command,'

'Brigadier Hansing.'

'Hurry it up now. Get those crates unloaded.'

'Sir.'

- 'Brigadier ...' - 'Right. Come here, men. On the double.'

'Are you satisfied that everyone has been warned to leave the area?'

'The army is very efficient. I'm satisfied.'

- 'How do you feel about staying on?' - 'I'm a soldier.'

'There is one thing I want to emphasise and that is our confidence.'

'There's no need to panic. Everything is under control.'

'We know what must be done and we will do it.'

'Excuse me.'

"'We know what must be done." Brave words from a brave man.

'And there ...'

'In there lies the task he must tackle.'

'The whole world will be waiting with bated breath'

'to see the outcome of that task.'

'If he succeeds, a royal welcome awaits him.'

'If he fails, then he, his troops, this town'

'and the countryside for 50 miles or more will cease to exist.'

'The Eastern Hemisphere Trade Commission building.'

'It was vacated nearly two years ago,'

'but the occupants left behind a monster.'

'There, very deep in the cellar,'

'they left behind them an atom bomb'

'which Brigadier Hansing and his men must attempt to diffuse.'

An atom bomb?

But why?

- Who did it? - I'm not sure.

The commission building was occupied by representatives

of 20 countries or more.

Your guess is as good as mine.

A hostile warhead deep in our own country.

It's a tidy ace to have up one's sleeve.

- How was it discovered? - Pure fluke.

Brigadier Hansing's one of the army's top nuclear experts.

He was staging manoeuvres in the area

when his instruments registered radioactivity.

He pinpointed the bomb.

Well, that explains a great deal.

I should've thought it explained everything.

- So you're here without authority? - If we're caught, they'll ...

- Shoot you. - They wouldn't do that.

Don't kid yourself. We've seen how trigger-happy they are.

- What do you mean? - There's a firing squad.

- You're joking. - He's quite right.

You mean they shot someone here in an English town?

Well, there is a state of emergency.

Yates, did you hear that? Come on, we can't miss this story.

Get in and show us where it happened.

- This could be the greatest story since ... - (Vehicle approaching)

What do we do now?

I think I'll make myself known to the authorities.

- Are you sure that's safe? - Oh, don't worry.

I would probably have been sent to the area anyway.

Hello, Major. I'm John Steed, Security Clearance KR5.

- Drive on. - You fool.

Drive on!

I recognise him, that British Army Major. He isn't.

His name's Parninski, Gregor Parninski.

He's an Eastern agent.

A cut-throat, a pirate.

A mercenary.

Major Parsons, British Army.

Well, he wouldn't walk around with foreign papers.

I tell you, it's him, Gregor Parninski. Why would I lie to you?

The sooner I contact the authorities, the sooner you'll be behind bars.

- All right. Have it your own way. - Is it possible?

Of course it's possible. Infiltrate, pose as an army officer?

Any skilled agent who knew his business could do it blindfold.

It's possible.

Do you think he was the only one?

Answer her, Steed.

Tell her about the firing squad. That's been bothering you.

A man murdered in cold blood without even a trial.

Why didn't they just arrest him?

- He may not be the only one. - We ought to warn Brigadier Hansing.

- If there are traitors ... - We ought to get out of here.

- He's right. - We can't run out.

What do you think?

I thought the situation was becoming simple and straightforward.

- We'll contact Hansing. - But every street is blocked or patrolled.

Cross your fingers and hope we're lucky.

Lucky!

There's a side road behind the church. I can approach the building from there.

I want to go to Barchester Street first.

Barchester Street? But that's the other side of town.

I have a friend there.

Right, men, on the double. Search those houses.

Here.

In here.

Tell the rest to stay out of sight. Somebody'll be coming back for her.

Stop. What are those lorries?

I'll go and have a look.

How many men were sent in for the emergency?

- Four platoons. - Nuclear shock troops?

The best. What is it? What did you find?

Four platoons of nuclear shock troops,

drugged and unconscious.

But if they're here, then ...

Who's at the commission building?

- You're a fool, Major. - Yes, sir.

What's more, you're dangerous.

Your incompetence could endanger our entire operation.

If these people contact the outside world ...

They can't. The phones are out of action and we're jamming all radio signals.

It seems to me they might just walk out of here.

From what I gather, they roam the street with impunity.

- I was taken by surprise, sir. - Don't offer me excuses, Major.

When your people contacted me, they offered me professionals.

Professionals!

Instead I'm surrounded by rank amateurs.

I want these people found.

I want them found immediately.

John Steed.

That joker who clobbered me.

Now, I want your word of honour.

We ought to be ready for trouble.

You have my word.

I'm touched, really touched by your concern.

I don't want to find myself dragging around a dead man.

- You'd better stay with the equipment. - Right.

(Hearn) John Steed.

After him!

Your friend wasn't very brave.

He's a big disappointment to me.

- Nothing? - No.

- There's still that area down there. - Let's go.

- Nothing. - Let's carry on. Come on.

I was looking forward to meeting you both again.

- I'll have to be content with you. - Get it over with. Shoot!

That wouldn't be legal.

Got to convene a proper firing squad.

The Brigadier's a stickler for details.

- He's a regular soldier. - You're not, of course.

Well, a regular wouldn't drink on duty, would he?

Keep your hands where I can see them. Got to wait for my firing squad.

- Harold Cartney. - What?

The man who was shot. Harold Cartney. I thought I knew the name.

He was a member of the Nuclear Fission Committee,

an atom bomb expert.

Now, why would he stay on in the area?

Curiosity.

Or maybe he sensed something was wrong.

The area cleared, fake troops moved in.

What about the team dismantling the bomb?

- Dismantling, are they? - That's right, Steed.

We're not taking a bomb apart. We're putting it together.

Building a bomb?

Makes a twisted kind of sense. They declare the area clear.

People move back in again.

And then we make our demand.

Pay up or else.

You might call us mercenaries. All of us.

So simple too. Declare a state of emergency.

They clear the area, let us move our operators in.

Assist us, in fact.

- It gives our demand more weight too. - What do you mean?

- A dummy run. - You catch on fast.

It took a long time to evacuate the area.

A long time.

- The authorities know that. - I still don't understand.

Once the bomb is installed, you give the all-clear

and people come pouring back in.

When they're all here, that's when we make our demand.

We'll give them just 15 minutes to hand over £40 million.

And if they don't, you detonate the bomb.

They'll pay up.

They already know how long it took to clear the area.

(Hearn) A lot longer than 15 minutes.

£40 million.

That's a cut for everyone. But it's not equal, you understand.

- The Brigadier gets the lion's share. - The Brigadier?

A man of his standing involved in this?

- But why? - Pride.

That's what the other chaps say. Pride, bitterness, anger.

He's been told he's going to be replaced,

made redundant by a computer, a machine.

It's a lot for man to swallow.

Kicked out to make room for a machine.

Of course, the money helps too.

But it's the machine bit that really gets him.

- Are we nearly there? - Yes, sir.

We've waited long enough. Come on. We'll find the firing squad.

I don't suppose you have any preference where you want to be executed?

Outside. We'll get it over with as quickly as possible.

After you.

- I thought I was doing the right thing. - I thought we'd seen the last of you.

I couldn't do that. Bad for business.

You'd spread it around that I was unreliable.

And it seemed a shame not to put the capsules to good use.

You've got more than one?

You know me, Steed. Cautious.

You mean, you were going to sell exclusive rights to as many as possible?

Ah, now, that hurts.

- There are more in there? - Yes, I've got several.

I'm confiscating them. Stay here, keep an eye on Tara.

- We'll go to the commission building. - No, I've done my boy scout bit.

I'm, er ...

... coming with you.

Nice meeting you.

Now.

Excellent.

It'll take them more than an hour to cut through that lot.

And they do not have more than an hour.

Right.

Clear up here and get out of the area.

You gave me your word.

That was before I knew you were intent on murder.

Murdering me!

In there. We've got to get in there.

Well, you can tell me what it's like.

I need you, Merlin. I'm depending on you.

You know me, the most undependable person in the western hemisphere.

- You came back. - Well, I told you.

You didn't want me spreading ugly rumours about you.

I couldn't have done that if I were dead.

All right, you're going to blind me with semantics.

Go on, point me towards the jaws of death.

Come on, quickly.

(Whistling)

(Whistling)

Take cover, quick.

Well?

Unless our friends walk in their sleep, it's all over.

Not for me it isn't. I must get back with my story.

See you soon.

Bye.

Ah.

Goodbye, Jimmy.

Do try and keep out of trouble.

I'm free?

Thanks, Steed. I won't forget this.

- Thanks a lot. - (Click)

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Au revoir.

How did he do it?

(Yawning)

Oh, I feel like I've been asleep for a week.

Hello, Steed.

Anything exciting been happening?

What did I say?

Sock it to me.

(Doorbell rings)

- Hello. - Hello.

- Look what I found outside your door. - Very colourful.

- Mm. There's a note with it too. - What does it say?

It says, "For Steed. To bring a little brightness into your life."

- Ah. - "Merlin."

Merlin?

That's very good of him. I wonder what it is.

(Phone rings)

Another of his little jokes.

He's got a very funny sense of humour has Merlin.

Yes.

Yes? Speaking.

What?

I warned him to keep out of trouble.

What did he get this time?

I see. Well, keep in touch.

Merlin up to his tricks again.

- What's he done this time? - Broke into a secret establishment.

- Oh, no. - Oh, yes.

- Did he steal anything valuable? - Fortunately he was disturbed.

All he got away with was a box of luminous dust.

- Well, you know what they say. - Mm.

When you gotta glow, you gotta glow.