Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,028 --> 00:00:03,260
♪♪ [harmonica]
2
00:00:04,863 --> 00:00:07,331
This coffee's great.
It's like regular coffee,
3
00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:09,700
but, like,
with the volume turned up.
4
00:00:09,702 --> 00:00:12,102
Yeah, well,
it's this Jamaican stuff
5
00:00:12,104 --> 00:00:13,570
that Edgar told me about.
6
00:00:13,572 --> 00:00:16,974
I think his dad used to own
about half of Jamaica.
7
00:00:16,976 --> 00:00:19,276
When did you start
grinding your own beans?
8
00:00:19,278 --> 00:00:21,945
Oh, you know, Edgar
told me to do that.
9
00:00:21,947 --> 00:00:24,814
He also said that you
should keep the beans
in the freezer.
10
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:28,150
Oh. I didn't know that.
11
00:00:28,152 --> 00:00:29,352
Well,
don't drink it yet
12
00:00:29,354 --> 00:00:31,020
till I put
the cinnamon in there
13
00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:33,756
because, you know,
that's what Edgar does.
14
00:00:33,758 --> 00:00:36,692
He's really funny
when he's making
the coffee, you know.
15
00:00:36,694 --> 00:00:38,427
He kind of hums
all to himself.
16
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:40,062
He stands there,
you know.
17
00:00:40,064 --> 00:00:43,898
He's like, scoop, hmm,
scoop, hmm.
18
00:00:49,138 --> 00:00:53,074
Well, so you've been seeing
a lot of Edgar lately.
19
00:00:53,076 --> 00:00:54,876
No, I haven't!
20
00:00:54,878 --> 00:00:55,943
Yeah, you have.
21
00:00:55,945 --> 00:00:57,578
Yeah, you've been
over at his place,
22
00:00:57,580 --> 00:00:59,480
like, uh, every day
since you met him.
23
00:00:59,482 --> 00:01:02,249
That's working
on the Wellman deal. God.
24
00:01:02,251 --> 00:01:04,219
That's not,
like, you know, Edgar--
25
00:01:04,221 --> 00:01:05,852
Oh, Edgar...Edgar...
26
00:01:05,854 --> 00:01:08,055
Edgar...Edgar.
27
00:01:08,057 --> 00:01:09,356
[goofy laugh]
28
00:01:14,397 --> 00:01:15,728
What?
Well, what?
29
00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:16,930
Look at it.
You're-- You're--
30
00:01:16,932 --> 00:01:18,165
You've said his name,
31
00:01:18,167 --> 00:01:20,000
like, a dozen times
already this morning.
32
00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:21,734
Uh-uh.
Yes, you have!
33
00:01:21,736 --> 00:01:23,936
Do you have a problem
with hearing the name Edgar?
34
00:01:23,938 --> 00:01:25,905
No. I'm thinking, though,
35
00:01:25,907 --> 00:01:28,775
that you might beginning
to develop a little crush
on the guy.
36
00:01:28,777 --> 00:01:31,644
Oh!
37
00:01:36,817 --> 00:01:38,217
Let's go drive by his house.
38
00:01:40,321 --> 00:01:44,989
♪ If what doesn't kill us is makin' us stronger ♪
39
00:01:44,991 --> 00:01:47,158
♪ We're gonna last longer ♪
40
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,994
♪ Than the greatest wall in China ♪
41
00:01:49,996 --> 00:01:53,164
♪ Or that rabbit with a drum ♪
42
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:57,335
♪ If there's one thing that I've learned ♪
43
00:01:57,337 --> 00:01:59,503
♪ While waiting for my turn ♪
44
00:01:59,505 --> 00:02:02,506
♪ It's that in each life some rain falls ♪
45
00:02:02,508 --> 00:02:05,676
♪ But you also get some sun ♪
46
00:02:05,678 --> 00:02:09,680
♪ And we'll make out better than okay ♪
47
00:02:09,682 --> 00:02:12,515
♪ Hear what I say ♪
48
00:02:12,517 --> 00:02:17,120
♪ Yeah, any day ♪
49
00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:23,560
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
50
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,666
Look, Jackie, I think
I'm a little too old
51
00:02:30,668 --> 00:02:32,201
to have a crush
on anybody.
52
00:02:32,203 --> 00:02:33,402
That is so lame.
53
00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:35,304
The guy is gorgeous,
and you know it,
54
00:02:35,306 --> 00:02:36,605
so just admit it.
55
00:02:36,607 --> 00:02:37,706
No, he is.
56
00:02:37,708 --> 00:02:40,141
He's...really cute,
isn't he?
57
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:42,778
He kind of reminds me
of, like, Gary Cooper
or something,
58
00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:45,914
one of those cowboy types
that'd actually tip his hat
59
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,016
when he passes a lady.
60
00:02:47,018 --> 00:02:49,251
Listen to you.
61
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,387
You're that far away
from doodling his name
62
00:02:51,389 --> 00:02:52,620
in your yearbook.
63
00:02:52,622 --> 00:02:55,424
I'm just stating a fact.
64
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:56,890
The man is good-looking.
65
00:02:56,892 --> 00:02:59,594
I mean, he's extremely
good-looking.
66
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,430
I'm just trying
to help you out here
67
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,697
because you are really
vulnerable right now
68
00:03:03,699 --> 00:03:06,533
with Dan being gone,
and you're alone a lot.
69
00:03:06,535 --> 00:03:10,370
Jackie, I don't do vulnerable.
70
00:03:10,372 --> 00:03:13,341
Well, all right,
fine, whatever.
71
00:03:13,343 --> 00:03:15,309
But you don't have to
admit that part of it.
72
00:03:15,311 --> 00:03:17,977
Just let me give you
a little piece of advice.
73
00:03:17,979 --> 00:03:19,479
Take it slow.
74
00:03:19,481 --> 00:03:21,781
Um, listen.
75
00:03:21,783 --> 00:03:23,883
Once the whole
Wellman deal is complete,
76
00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:25,184
me and Edgar will probably
77
00:03:25,186 --> 00:03:27,286
never even see
each other again.
78
00:03:27,288 --> 00:03:30,190
Yeah,
you're probably right.
79
00:03:30,192 --> 00:03:32,791
I mean, I might have to
call him once or twice
80
00:03:32,793 --> 00:03:34,960
to see how things are going.
81
00:03:34,962 --> 00:03:38,531
I mean, I did give the guy
$1 million.
82
00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:41,333
♪♪ [dreamy orchestral]
83
00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:45,737
You're a lucky man, Edgar.
84
00:03:45,739 --> 00:03:47,839
I have money...
85
00:03:47,841 --> 00:03:51,709
but I don't have
what you've got.
86
00:03:57,684 --> 00:04:00,751
Well, Roseanne,
there are things
that money can't buy.
87
00:04:10,263 --> 00:04:12,762
Not very many.
88
00:04:18,336 --> 00:04:20,337
Nice shot.
89
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:23,840
So...
[clears throat]
90
00:04:23,842 --> 00:04:25,342
I'll just read
over the contract,
91
00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:26,976
then sign it,
then we're all set, huh?
92
00:04:26,978 --> 00:04:28,412
Mm, well...
93
00:04:28,414 --> 00:04:30,012
Listen, why don't
you just not worry
94
00:04:30,014 --> 00:04:31,848
your pretty little head
about stuff like that
95
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,716
and just go right ahead
and sign it?
96
00:04:33,718 --> 00:04:36,152
Oh, no, if there's one thing
my old man taught me,
97
00:04:36,154 --> 00:04:38,420
it's to read something over
before I sign it.
98
00:04:38,422 --> 00:04:40,723
Let's see, "--through
the fourth quarter...
99
00:04:40,725 --> 00:04:43,792
compounded annually...
parties obligated to..."
100
00:04:43,794 --> 00:04:44,960
Wait a minute,
what's this?
101
00:04:44,962 --> 00:04:47,896
No, see, this doesn't
even concern you at all.
102
00:04:47,898 --> 00:04:50,098
Just go right ahead there.
Sign it.
103
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:52,133
No, I must be
reading this wrong,
104
00:04:52,135 --> 00:04:53,801
because according
to this,
105
00:04:53,803 --> 00:04:55,336
after you give me
the million bucks
106
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,138
and I pay off
the bank loan,
107
00:04:57,140 --> 00:05:00,609
I have to sleep
with you.
108
00:05:00,611 --> 00:05:01,775
So?
109
00:05:01,777 --> 00:05:03,911
So that's not
what we agreed to.
110
00:05:03,913 --> 00:05:07,081
Hey, did you think
I was just giving
you the money?
111
00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:08,982
How stupid
do you think I am?
112
00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:11,118
Roseanne, but--
Hey, hey, hey.
113
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,054
Money will
come and go, okay?
114
00:05:13,056 --> 00:05:14,788
But this night is going
to last forever.
115
00:05:14,790 --> 00:05:19,093
Now sign the damn thing
and get them pants off!
116
00:05:19,095 --> 00:05:21,429
♪♪ [dream orchestral]
117
00:05:25,268 --> 00:05:27,167
Hey!
[pop]
118
00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:31,403
You were thinking
about him just now,
weren't you?
119
00:05:31,405 --> 00:05:32,605
I was not!
120
00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:35,742
I was thinking about,
uh, doing the laundry!
121
00:05:36,845 --> 00:05:37,844
Whose laundry?
122
00:05:37,846 --> 00:05:40,379
Uh...
123
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,781
Ahh!
124
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:49,388
Hey, Deej,
how you hittin' 'em?
125
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,923
How am I hitting what?
126
00:05:50,925 --> 00:05:52,757
No, no, no.
127
00:05:52,759 --> 00:05:54,659
It's another way of saying
"How you doing?"
128
00:05:54,661 --> 00:05:56,428
You know,
they call it an allegory.
129
00:05:59,266 --> 00:06:02,134
Can you-- Can you hand me
that Phillips head?
130
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:06,837
Cheers.
131
00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,373
Not so good.
What?
132
00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:13,110
I'm not...
hitting them so good.
133
00:06:13,112 --> 00:06:16,313
Yeah, I know
when I was your age, man,
I had a lot on my mind.
134
00:06:16,315 --> 00:06:18,449
Then I got a little older,
and it went away.
135
00:06:20,153 --> 00:06:22,652
So what's up there,
big guy?
136
00:06:24,923 --> 00:06:27,624
Well...
um, it's Heather.
137
00:06:27,626 --> 00:06:29,225
We've been hanging out
for a while now,
138
00:06:29,227 --> 00:06:31,795
everything's going great,
we really like each other--
139
00:06:31,797 --> 00:06:34,197
Stop right there, kid.
You came to the right guy.
140
00:06:34,199 --> 00:06:37,534
I know women. I married one.
141
00:06:37,536 --> 00:06:39,035
I've been up and down
that road.
142
00:06:39,037 --> 00:06:41,803
Busted a couple of tires,
even broke an axle or two.
143
00:06:41,805 --> 00:06:45,006
Can we skip the analogies
and get to the point?
144
00:06:45,008 --> 00:06:48,443
Hey, hey, look, I'm just trying
to help you out here, kid.
145
00:06:48,445 --> 00:06:50,679
Women are tricky
and you're still wet
behind the neck.
146
00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:53,916
Sorry.
147
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,717
Look, it's all right,
all right?
148
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,319
I want to help you,
okay?
149
00:06:57,321 --> 00:06:59,053
But I don't want to waste
my valuable time
150
00:06:59,055 --> 00:07:00,722
unless you really,
really like this girl.
151
00:07:00,724 --> 00:07:02,857
Yeah, I do.
I really, really do.
152
00:07:02,859 --> 00:07:04,659
Okay, so what's
the problem?
153
00:07:04,661 --> 00:07:06,861
All right, she went
to Chicago with her mother,
154
00:07:06,863 --> 00:07:08,696
and didn't even tell me
till the day before.
155
00:07:08,698 --> 00:07:11,031
Come on, she's 15 year old.
Give her a break.
156
00:07:11,033 --> 00:07:12,732
She's still gotta do
what her mother says.
157
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:14,168
Yeah, I know,
but there's other stuff.
158
00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:16,538
Like when we go out,
she always wants
to pick where we go.
159
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:18,572
Well, who cares as long
as you're out with her
160
00:07:18,574 --> 00:07:20,708
and she's looking good?
161
00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:22,743
Okay.
162
00:07:22,745 --> 00:07:24,911
I guess what gets me,
she's all opinionated.
163
00:07:24,913 --> 00:07:26,746
Doesn't even care
if I agree with her or not.
164
00:07:26,748 --> 00:07:28,715
Dump her.
165
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:37,056
There's more
to this Edgar thing
than you're letting on.
166
00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,833
Okay.
167
00:07:46,835 --> 00:07:49,034
Okay, just--
just have a seat.
168
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,336
I'm going to tell you
something,
169
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:54,273
and I do not want you
to freak out or smirk at me
170
00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:56,275
or pop out your eyes
or any of that weird stuff.
171
00:07:56,277 --> 00:07:57,743
Okay, okay.
Just sitting.
172
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:01,780
Maybe I do...
have a crush on him.
173
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,682
Shut up!
174
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,284
Sorry. You know...
175
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,685
No reaction.
No reaction.
176
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,754
Maybe I do have
feelings for him,
177
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:14,425
and it's freaking me out
because I still love Dan
178
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,628
and I still think I hear him
in the house here.
179
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:18,729
Okay, let me say--
180
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:21,098
Uh, let me
ask one question.
181
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,701
You better be careful.
182
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:27,237
Does...Edgar know
that you feel this way?
183
00:08:27,239 --> 00:08:29,005
No!
184
00:08:29,007 --> 00:08:31,040
Of course he doesn't
because whenever I'm with him,
185
00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:35,345
I just babble like an idiot
and stare at his teeth.
186
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:37,614
I mean, the guy's
been everywhere,
he's done everything.
187
00:08:37,616 --> 00:08:39,749
He's been around the world.
188
00:08:39,751 --> 00:08:41,817
I know. See,
that's my point, you see?
189
00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:44,887
What I'm thinking now,
he's sown his wild oats.
190
00:08:44,889 --> 00:08:47,390
Now he might be
looking for something
191
00:08:47,392 --> 00:08:49,758
a little more earthy.
192
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,729
What's that, a nice way
of saying fat?
193
00:08:53,731 --> 00:08:55,531
No, see. Okay.
This--
194
00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:58,399
All right,
now, you love Dan,
195
00:08:58,401 --> 00:09:00,234
and yet you're
attracted to Edgar.
196
00:09:00,236 --> 00:09:02,236
So this becomes
the question.
197
00:09:02,238 --> 00:09:04,239
Do you encourage that
with Edgar
198
00:09:04,241 --> 00:09:06,040
and open up
that whole can of worms,
199
00:09:06,042 --> 00:09:08,410
or do you shut out
all your feelings
about Edgar
200
00:09:08,412 --> 00:09:11,513
and hold everything down
deep inside to be buried
for the rest of your days?
201
00:09:11,515 --> 00:09:12,780
And then,
do you live with that--
202
00:09:12,782 --> 00:09:14,649
Put a lid on it, okay?
Yeah.
203
00:09:14,651 --> 00:09:17,351
Because you're making me
even more scared than I was
204
00:09:17,353 --> 00:09:18,852
when I first talked to you.
205
00:09:18,854 --> 00:09:21,488
I mean, the last time
I went out with somebody,
206
00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:23,557
it lasted for 25 years.
207
00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,861
Well, see, that went
pretty well, didn't it?
208
00:09:29,097 --> 00:09:30,931
Did he ask you on a date?
209
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:32,265
No!
210
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:35,636
No. And I could never
go on a date anyway.
211
00:09:35,638 --> 00:09:37,871
That would be like going
back in the work force
212
00:09:37,873 --> 00:09:39,973
after your kids
have gone off to college
213
00:09:39,975 --> 00:09:42,275
or prison or wherever.
214
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,577
No, it's not that bad.
215
00:09:44,579 --> 00:09:48,347
Yeah, it is. It's like
a whole new technology.
216
00:09:48,349 --> 00:09:50,248
It's like if you got
trained on a typewriter
217
00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,317
and now everybody's
using computers.
218
00:09:52,319 --> 00:09:54,987
I wouldn't even know
where to put my fingers.
219
00:09:56,323 --> 00:09:58,190
No, that would
all come back to you.
220
00:09:58,192 --> 00:10:01,493
But see, now what
I'm thinking is...
221
00:10:01,495 --> 00:10:03,095
you and Edgar
actually have
222
00:10:03,097 --> 00:10:05,029
a lot more in common
than you realize.
223
00:10:05,031 --> 00:10:07,399
The two of you saved
Wellman Plastics together,
224
00:10:07,401 --> 00:10:08,566
let alone the whole town.
225
00:10:09,836 --> 00:10:12,804
Oh.
226
00:10:12,806 --> 00:10:16,107
Yeah, well, I guess I never
thought about it like that.
227
00:10:18,845 --> 00:10:19,977
[tapping mic]
228
00:10:19,979 --> 00:10:21,379
[Argentinean accent]
May I present to you
229
00:10:21,381 --> 00:10:25,817
the First Lady de Lanford,
Rosita Duarte de Wellman.
230
00:10:25,819 --> 00:10:28,753
[crowd cheering,
applauding]
231
00:10:36,662 --> 00:10:41,197
Workers of Wellman,
I know your suffering.
232
00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:44,267
I am one of you.
233
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,903
Or I was one of you
until I got really rich
234
00:10:46,905 --> 00:10:49,372
and could afford to buy
all these cool gowns.
235
00:10:49,374 --> 00:10:53,108
But the fact is
the general and I
236
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:57,380
are turning over
the factory to you,
the workers!
237
00:10:57,382 --> 00:11:00,048
[cheers, applause]
238
00:11:01,485 --> 00:11:05,320
Don't cry for me,
Wellman Plastics.
239
00:11:05,322 --> 00:11:09,456
The fact is
I finally bought you.
240
00:11:09,458 --> 00:11:13,427
We're simple people
with blue collars
241
00:11:13,429 --> 00:11:17,565
who just happen to have 108
242
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:21,503
♪ Million dollars ♪
243
00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:24,705
♪ Who just happen to have ♪
244
00:11:24,707 --> 00:11:29,677
♪ $108 million ♪
245
00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:49,495
Yeah, so, she--
she's independent,
246
00:11:49,497 --> 00:11:51,564
and you don't want
to dump her.
247
00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:55,268
Your only choice:
tame her.
248
00:11:55,270 --> 00:11:56,868
Can you tell me
how to do that?
249
00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:58,337
Sure. I tamed
your sister, didn't I?
250
00:11:58,339 --> 00:11:59,472
And she's a Conner woman.
251
00:11:59,474 --> 00:12:00,606
Let me tell you,
252
00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:03,975
that ain't no freakin'
night in France.
253
00:12:03,977 --> 00:12:05,511
So what do I do?
254
00:12:05,513 --> 00:12:09,347
All right,
rule number uno:
255
00:12:09,349 --> 00:12:11,383
don't let them
dress you, okay?
256
00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:12,951
Like, this one time,
Becky wanted me
257
00:12:12,953 --> 00:12:14,785
to wear this tie
to this fancy restaurant.
258
00:12:14,787 --> 00:12:16,154
I didn't.
259
00:12:16,156 --> 00:12:19,123
So we get there,
the maître d'
doesn't let us in.
260
00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:21,526
We get home, she runs
to the bedroom crying,
261
00:12:21,528 --> 00:12:25,663
I eat a TV dinner
like I wanted to
in the first place.
262
00:12:25,665 --> 00:12:27,297
Weren't you worried
she'd be mad?
263
00:12:27,299 --> 00:12:28,431
Oh, no, no.
264
00:12:28,433 --> 00:12:30,433
See, I smoothed things out
later that night, huh?
265
00:12:30,435 --> 00:12:32,902
Ah.
266
00:12:32,904 --> 00:12:35,872
Which brings us
to rule número two:
267
00:12:35,874 --> 00:12:38,208
the man controls
the romance.
268
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:39,677
Like how?
269
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:43,547
Uh, God, like say Becky's
kissing me on the neck.
270
00:12:43,549 --> 00:12:46,448
Even though I like it,
I tell her I'm busy,
271
00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:47,484
I shrug it off.
272
00:12:47,486 --> 00:12:49,686
Okay, now,
I don't get this.
273
00:12:49,688 --> 00:12:51,787
You like it,
so why do you
pretend you don't?
274
00:12:51,789 --> 00:12:54,124
It's all about control.
275
00:12:54,126 --> 00:12:57,393
You gotta let her know
that you're making
the decisions here.
276
00:12:57,395 --> 00:12:58,994
Later on,
she's that much
more eager.
277
00:12:58,996 --> 00:13:01,296
Wow.
Yeah.
278
00:13:05,736 --> 00:13:08,904
Rule C.
279
00:13:08,906 --> 00:13:11,006
If she says to you,
"I love you," right?
280
00:13:11,008 --> 00:13:12,841
whatever you do,
you don't say it back to her,
281
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:14,542
because then she's got you.
282
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:17,646
Just say "me, too"
or "ditto."
283
00:13:17,648 --> 00:13:18,880
What does that get you?
284
00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:21,750
Respect, all right?
285
00:13:21,752 --> 00:13:24,118
And it'll make them
try that much more
harder next time.
286
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,720
Sure, they might get fed up
with you once in a while,
287
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,922
cut you off,
sometimes a week,
288
00:13:28,924 --> 00:13:31,958
maybe two...
289
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,628
once even 46 days.
290
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,832
But the beauty part of it
291
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:41,301
is they're cutting
themselves off, too, right?
292
00:13:41,303 --> 00:13:43,103
So who's the loser there?
293
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:46,940
I'm not sure
any of this stuff
294
00:13:46,942 --> 00:13:48,441
is going to work
on Heather, though.
295
00:13:48,443 --> 00:13:51,411
Of course it will, man.
All women are the same.
296
00:13:53,147 --> 00:13:56,682
Of course, some have
bigger boobs, eh, Mark?
297
00:13:56,684 --> 00:13:58,684
Now you catching on, baby.
298
00:14:04,892 --> 00:14:06,491
Well, I think
that about does it.
299
00:14:06,493 --> 00:14:09,494
The employee buyout
at Wellman Plastics
is complete.
300
00:14:09,496 --> 00:14:11,729
Workers of the world unite.
301
00:14:11,731 --> 00:14:14,633
It's Miller Time.
302
00:14:14,635 --> 00:14:19,203
Uh, would you settle
for, uh...champagne?
303
00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:21,606
Whoa. I'm so impressed.
304
00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:23,408
You got your own
bucket thingy.
305
00:14:23,410 --> 00:14:25,643
[chuckles]
306
00:14:25,645 --> 00:14:28,713
You've done something
great here, Roseanne.
307
00:14:28,715 --> 00:14:31,247
Well, I figure
I owed it to the factory.
308
00:14:31,249 --> 00:14:34,852
After all,
it did suck the life
out of me for 12 years.
309
00:14:34,854 --> 00:14:36,520
Well, that's all
going to change now,
310
00:14:36,522 --> 00:14:39,489
now that the employees
are working for themselves.
311
00:14:39,491 --> 00:14:41,491
I think we should
have a toast.
312
00:14:41,493 --> 00:14:42,726
Um--
Oh, I know.
313
00:14:42,728 --> 00:14:44,628
To the people
of Argentina.
314
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:46,196
What?
315
00:14:46,198 --> 00:14:51,401
Oh, that's just
some old saying
in my family.
316
00:14:51,403 --> 00:14:53,870
Oh.
317
00:14:53,872 --> 00:14:57,339
So now that the whole
buyout deal is complete,
318
00:14:57,341 --> 00:15:00,943
I'll let you get back
to whatever in the hell
it was you were doing
319
00:15:00,945 --> 00:15:03,212
before you started
going around saving
all these factories.
320
00:15:03,214 --> 00:15:04,513
Oh, hey,
this has been great.
321
00:15:04,515 --> 00:15:06,181
You know, I, uh--
ahem--
322
00:15:06,183 --> 00:15:08,617
I gotta tell you
I've really enjoyed
spending time with you.
323
00:15:08,619 --> 00:15:09,851
Yeah?
Yeah.
324
00:15:15,993 --> 00:15:18,259
Well, then, you know...
325
00:15:18,261 --> 00:15:23,298
maybe we could still
spend time together,
326
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:28,102
you know, if that's
what we both kind of...
327
00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:36,811
God, how many logs
did you stick on that fire?
328
00:15:36,813 --> 00:15:40,347
Yeah, I guess it is getting
a little warm in here.
329
00:15:40,349 --> 00:15:42,048
What were we talking about?
330
00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:44,116
That we don't have to quit
spending time together
331
00:15:44,118 --> 00:15:46,420
because we've just
finished our business.
332
00:15:48,457 --> 00:15:52,926
Yeah, because you are
really easy to be with.
333
00:15:52,928 --> 00:15:54,427
So are you. Thanks.
334
00:15:55,898 --> 00:15:59,266
No, really, I-- I've felt
this connection with you.
335
00:15:59,268 --> 00:16:01,634
You know much about
Eastern philosophy?
336
00:16:01,636 --> 00:16:04,169
No. Oh, you mean much?
337
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,303
No.
338
00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:09,542
I lived in the ashram
for a year,
339
00:16:09,544 --> 00:16:10,843
and ever since we met,
340
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,377
I just had this feeling
that--
341
00:16:12,379 --> 00:16:16,114
this strange feeling
that we've met
somewhere before.
342
00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:19,551
But, well, like--
Nah, this is silly. I--
343
00:16:19,553 --> 00:16:20,818
No.
344
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:22,587
No, that's okay.
You can keep going.
345
00:16:22,589 --> 00:16:24,756
I'll just...
have more to drink.
346
00:16:24,758 --> 00:16:27,358
I think we must've
known each other
347
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,093
in another lifetime.
348
00:16:29,095 --> 00:16:30,895
I look into your eyes,
and I see deeper
349
00:16:30,897 --> 00:16:34,065
than the you that's sitting
right here in front of me.
350
00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:35,232
Does that make sense?
351
00:16:35,234 --> 00:16:36,700
Well, yeah.
352
00:16:36,702 --> 00:16:40,403
I mean, it--
it sounds okay
when you say it.
353
00:16:40,405 --> 00:16:41,872
If somebody else
said it,
354
00:16:41,874 --> 00:16:43,339
I'd think they were
full of crap.
355
00:16:47,378 --> 00:16:49,046
How come you never
got married?
356
00:16:49,048 --> 00:16:50,713
I don't know.
357
00:16:50,715 --> 00:16:52,182
I guess I never found
the right woman.
358
00:16:52,184 --> 00:16:55,052
You certainly had a lot
of opportunities, right?
359
00:16:55,054 --> 00:16:56,153
I mean, look at you.
360
00:16:56,155 --> 00:16:57,554
Sure, I've had opportunities,
361
00:16:57,556 --> 00:16:59,855
but they were all
on a superficial level.
362
00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:02,357
I want something deeper.
363
00:17:04,161 --> 00:17:06,495
I'll bet you feel
that way sometimes.
364
00:17:06,497 --> 00:17:08,097
Oh, yeah.
365
00:17:08,099 --> 00:17:10,266
Only every single
minute of my life.
366
00:17:11,535 --> 00:17:14,202
I'm really tough
on the outside
367
00:17:14,204 --> 00:17:16,905
and everything,
but, um...
368
00:17:16,907 --> 00:17:18,407
I don't know.
369
00:17:18,409 --> 00:17:21,009
I've always wondered
what it would be like
370
00:17:21,011 --> 00:17:25,013
just for one day
to be that girl
371
00:17:25,015 --> 00:17:26,982
that all the guys
are staring at.
372
00:17:26,984 --> 00:17:29,151
You know?
Mm.
373
00:17:29,153 --> 00:17:32,920
The one that they can't
take their eyes off of.
374
00:17:32,922 --> 00:17:34,689
I've never told
anybody that before.
375
00:17:34,691 --> 00:17:38,525
Wow. Thanks for taking me
into your confidence.
376
00:17:38,527 --> 00:17:40,194
I'm honored, Roseanne.
377
00:17:46,035 --> 00:17:48,535
God, it's been so great
working with you, Edgar.
378
00:17:48,537 --> 00:17:50,703
It's just been great.
379
00:17:50,705 --> 00:17:52,039
♪♪ [harp]
380
00:17:53,642 --> 00:17:56,377
Roseanne, I can't take
my eyes off of you.
381
00:18:08,389 --> 00:18:11,323
♪♪ [fanfare]
382
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,038
[keys jingling]
383
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,142
Where have you been?
384
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:33,611
It's 4:00 in the morning.
For all I know,
385
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,212
you could've been rolled
in a ditch somewhere.
386
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:37,014
I was just about to start
to call hospitals.
387
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,683
Hey, be quiet, okay?
388
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,418
You're going
to wake everybody
in the whole house.
389
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:43,955
Hospitals? This is Lanford.
There's only one hospital.
390
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,390
You had me worried sick.
391
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:47,558
Well, ground me
392
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,493
and take the car away
for a month.
393
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:50,527
All right,
what happened?
394
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,963
What hap--
Come-- Come here!
395
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,232
What'd he do?
396
00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:58,167
Pump you full of booze
and turn on the charm?
397
00:18:58,169 --> 00:19:00,269
Do we have anything
to eat around here?
398
00:19:00,271 --> 00:19:01,504
Because I'm starving!
399
00:19:01,506 --> 00:19:04,907
Oh, no!
400
00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:07,876
All right,
stop toying with me.
401
00:19:07,878 --> 00:19:10,514
I want to know what happened,
I want to know right now.
402
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:15,250
Oh, Jackie, Edgar is such
a great person, you know?
403
00:19:15,252 --> 00:19:19,054
He's nice, he's funny,
he's really smart.
404
00:19:19,056 --> 00:19:20,089
God, he's so good-looking.
405
00:19:20,091 --> 00:19:23,092
Yeah, I know that.
I-- Sit down!
406
00:19:25,029 --> 00:19:27,461
You tell me the part
that I don't know.
407
00:19:31,601 --> 00:19:33,935
All right, well,
you know, a part of me
408
00:19:33,937 --> 00:19:36,304
just wanted to go ahead
and just do it.
409
00:19:36,306 --> 00:19:39,006
I even imagined
the two of us together.
410
00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:40,741
It was incredible.
411
00:19:40,743 --> 00:19:43,344
I saw rockets lifting,
I saw fireworks,
412
00:19:43,346 --> 00:19:45,546
I saw waves crashing
against the shore,
413
00:19:45,548 --> 00:19:49,416
I saw great big trays
of doughnuts!
414
00:19:49,418 --> 00:19:51,084
It was awesome!
415
00:19:54,056 --> 00:19:57,290
But it was all in my head.
416
00:19:57,292 --> 00:19:59,859
But the part of me
that was sitting there...
417
00:19:59,862 --> 00:20:03,096
[scoffs]
I just-- I just
shook his hand,
418
00:20:03,098 --> 00:20:05,498
and I stayed there talking
for a couple of hours.
419
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:07,867
And you just walked away?
420
00:20:07,869 --> 00:20:10,637
Wow.
421
00:20:10,639 --> 00:20:13,205
I don't know, Jackie.
I just couldn't.
422
00:20:13,207 --> 00:20:15,141
I'm just an old
married lady, you know?
423
00:20:15,143 --> 00:20:17,709
Can't fool around. No.
424
00:20:17,711 --> 00:20:20,279
Maybe if I would've
met Edgar another time,
another place--
425
00:20:20,281 --> 00:20:21,614
you know,
one of those stories.
426
00:20:21,616 --> 00:20:23,048
But I didn't and it didn't,
427
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:26,017
and it doesn't
and here I am, boom.
428
00:20:26,019 --> 00:20:27,552
No regrets?
429
00:20:27,554 --> 00:20:29,721
Yeah, I got a lot of regrets,
430
00:20:29,723 --> 00:20:32,991
and I'm going to cherish
every one of them.
431
00:20:32,993 --> 00:20:34,592
Well, I'm going to go.
432
00:20:34,594 --> 00:20:36,995
Oh, will you just stay
with me, Jackie?
433
00:20:36,997 --> 00:20:42,900
Because I know I'm not
going to be able to sleep,
434
00:20:42,902 --> 00:20:44,167
you know,
for days, probably.
435
00:20:44,169 --> 00:20:45,603
All right.
436
00:20:47,139 --> 00:20:48,906
These are stale.
437
00:20:54,113 --> 00:20:57,780
Jackie, Argentina, okay?
438
00:20:57,782 --> 00:20:59,815
Is that the one
with all the rainforests
439
00:20:59,817 --> 00:21:01,418
or the one with all the Nazis?
440
00:21:08,527 --> 00:21:10,226
Hey, Mark.
441
00:21:10,228 --> 00:21:12,062
I took your advice
about Heather.
442
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:14,463
Great. You don't
have to thank me.
443
00:21:14,465 --> 00:21:16,465
She called me a pig
444
00:21:16,467 --> 00:21:18,467
and kicked me
out of her house.
445
00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:20,135
That's perfect!
446
00:21:20,137 --> 00:21:21,837
You got her right
where you want her.
447
00:21:21,839 --> 00:21:23,238
She's going to
call you tomorrow
448
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,940
and tell you
that she's sorry.
449
00:21:24,942 --> 00:21:28,376
She left a headless
Ken doll in my locker!
450
00:21:31,282 --> 00:21:33,148
Man,
that's even better.
451
00:21:33,150 --> 00:21:35,483
Deej, this girl
really digs you.
452
00:21:35,485 --> 00:21:38,085
No, I don't think so.
I think she's really mad.
453
00:21:38,087 --> 00:21:39,521
Of course she is.
She's miserable.
454
00:21:39,523 --> 00:21:41,189
She can't stop
thinking about you.
455
00:21:41,191 --> 00:21:42,723
Look, I'm the one
who's miserable.
456
00:21:42,725 --> 00:21:44,424
I'm going to call her
and apologize.
457
00:21:44,426 --> 00:21:47,061
Hey, kid.
[whistles]
458
00:21:47,063 --> 00:21:48,528
What are you, gay?
459
00:21:50,266 --> 00:21:54,934
Look, we gotta think of ways
to keep this thing going here.
460
00:21:54,936 --> 00:21:56,203
Got it.
461
00:21:56,205 --> 00:21:58,572
You walk by her house
holding another girl's hand.
462
00:21:59,874 --> 00:22:02,042
How do you come up
with this stuff?
463
00:22:03,979 --> 00:22:05,879
It's a gift.
464
00:22:08,416 --> 00:22:09,582
[door slams]
38775
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
