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1
00:00:08,621 --> 00:00:11,055
I don't know what to do
about Astrid.
2
00:00:11,123 --> 00:00:13,791
She keeps bringing home
these stray people.
3
00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:16,425
Well, then, Mother,
why don't you just
have her committed again?
4
00:00:16,495 --> 00:00:18,494
Just for a few weeks...
5
00:00:18,564 --> 00:00:20,931
like last time.
6
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,433
I hate
to spend the money.
7
00:00:24,737 --> 00:00:26,169
Mother, it's me--
8
00:00:26,238 --> 00:00:28,205
your Astrid. I'm home.
9
00:00:28,273 --> 00:00:29,439
Astrid.
Oh, my goodness.
10
00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:32,275
Oh, darling,
I missed you so.
11
00:00:32,344 --> 00:00:33,943
And look
what I've brought:
12
00:00:34,012 --> 00:00:34,944
Conners.
13
00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:37,414
Ho!
14
00:00:40,719 --> 00:00:42,952
I met Roseanne
and Jackie at the spa,
15
00:00:43,021 --> 00:00:44,554
fell in love--
they're so fresh.
16
00:00:44,622 --> 00:00:47,190
Met them again in New York--
even fresher--
17
00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:48,625
and I've brought them here.
Ha!
18
00:00:48,694 --> 00:00:52,528
Yeah, this is Andy,
D.J., Bev, Jerry,
19
00:00:52,597 --> 00:00:55,264
Mark, Becky,
Jackie, and Roseanne,
20
00:00:55,332 --> 00:00:59,769
And this is Kiki, Lilly,
Chip, Doris, Astrid, and--
21
00:00:59,838 --> 00:01:01,603
Where's my Porcelain?
22
00:01:01,672 --> 00:01:05,274
You know I like
to have my Porcelain
here when I get home.
23
00:01:05,343 --> 00:01:07,009
Is Porcelain
somebody's name?
24
00:01:07,078 --> 00:01:08,877
Yes,
it's Astrid's son.
25
00:01:08,946 --> 00:01:10,980
Whether it's a name
is debatable,
26
00:01:11,048 --> 00:01:13,249
but it's
what she chose.
27
00:01:13,318 --> 00:01:16,452
Now, Mummy, I know I'm not
your precious Chippie,
28
00:01:16,521 --> 00:01:18,721
but couldn't you at least
pretend to like me?
29
00:01:18,789 --> 00:01:21,390
Oh, darling, don't be
so oversensitive.
30
00:01:21,459 --> 00:01:24,026
You know I love
all my children
the same.
31
00:01:24,095 --> 00:01:26,562
Just because I was on the boat
with Daddy when he died
32
00:01:26,631 --> 00:01:28,463
does not mean I am
responsible for his death.
33
00:01:28,531 --> 00:01:30,465
No, of course not,
darling.
34
00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:33,502
Daddy just fell off,
all by himself.
35
00:01:34,638 --> 00:01:36,204
Man, I'm starving.
36
00:01:37,374 --> 00:01:40,875
Oh. Forgive me.
That was so rude of us.
37
00:01:40,944 --> 00:01:42,744
Uh, won't you join us?
38
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:45,580
The eggs Benedict
are absolutely divine.
39
00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:47,014
And if you don't favor eggs,
40
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:49,184
cook can prepare almost
anything you'd like.
41
00:01:49,252 --> 00:01:50,551
That's okay.
We'll just eat what--
42
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:53,154
Wouldn't you
like to change?
43
00:01:53,222 --> 00:01:54,922
Why? All we're
gonna do is eat.
44
00:01:54,991 --> 00:01:58,792
But you're in your...
travel clothes.
45
00:01:58,861 --> 00:02:00,494
Well,
we really don't mind
46
00:02:00,563 --> 00:02:01,929
eating
in our travel clothes.
47
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:04,531
I mean, sometimes
we even sleep in 'em.
48
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,803
Uh, darling, do show your
friends up to their rooms
49
00:02:08,872 --> 00:02:10,271
so they can freshen up.
50
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,839
Werner, set a few more places
at the table, please.
51
00:02:12,909 --> 00:02:15,009
What if I just want
to grab a sausage?
52
00:02:15,078 --> 00:02:16,676
Do I have to change
for that?
53
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:17,744
Yes, yes.
54
00:02:19,915 --> 00:02:22,849
You see, we change our clothes
for each unit of the day.
55
00:02:22,918 --> 00:02:24,784
Morning, breakfast,
morning activities,
56
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,487
lunch, nap, cocktails,
dinner, and after dinner.
57
00:02:27,556 --> 00:02:29,756
You change your clothes
eight times a day?
58
00:02:29,825 --> 00:02:30,990
On average.
59
00:02:37,799 --> 00:02:40,634
We don't have eight
changes of clothes total.
60
00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:44,137
We're never
gonna fit in here.
61
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,440
I watch that Martha Stewart.
We'll be fine.
62
00:02:50,111 --> 00:02:54,713
♪ If what doesn't kill us is makin' us stronger ♪
63
00:02:54,782 --> 00:02:56,882
♪ We're gonna last longer ♪
64
00:02:56,950 --> 00:02:59,718
♪ Then the greatest wall in China ♪
65
00:02:59,787 --> 00:03:02,888
♪ Or that rabbit with a drum ♪
66
00:03:02,956 --> 00:03:07,059
♪ If there's one thing that I've learned ♪
67
00:03:07,127 --> 00:03:09,228
♪ While waiting for my turn ♪
68
00:03:09,297 --> 00:03:12,231
♪ It's that in each life some rain falls ♪
69
00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:15,401
♪ But you also get some sun ♪
70
00:03:15,469 --> 00:03:19,405
♪ And we'll make out better than okay ♪
71
00:03:19,473 --> 00:03:22,241
♪ Hear what I say ♪
72
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:26,911
♪ Yeah, any day ♪
73
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,784
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
74
00:03:50,136 --> 00:03:51,536
Is everyone comfy?
75
00:03:51,605 --> 00:03:53,170
Would anyone
like a sweater?
76
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,573
Oh, no, thanks.
We're all fine.
All right.
77
00:03:55,641 --> 00:03:58,143
They all changed
their clothes again.
78
00:03:59,945 --> 00:04:03,080
I've asked Werner
to put out some extra
clothes for them.
79
00:04:03,149 --> 00:04:04,514
Yes, the primary colors:
80
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,451
the hallmark
of the working class.
81
00:04:08,754 --> 00:04:10,153
Hello, fellows.
82
00:04:10,222 --> 00:04:11,254
Hey, Chip. Ow!
83
00:04:11,323 --> 00:04:12,889
I got you.
84
00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:16,193
Mark, D.J., I'd like you
to meet Flip and Skip.
85
00:04:19,031 --> 00:04:22,366
Chip, Flip, and Skip?
86
00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:25,767
You got to be hosing me.
87
00:04:25,837 --> 00:04:28,238
Oh, we've taken that ribbing
before, eh, fellows?
88
00:04:28,306 --> 00:04:29,772
Have we!
89
00:04:29,841 --> 00:04:31,007
Of course, at Choate,
90
00:04:31,076 --> 00:04:34,210
we always gave the business
to Ray, Trey, and Grey.
91
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,013
So, we were hoping
maybe you boys
92
00:04:38,082 --> 00:04:41,016
would like to join us
for a little game
of touch football.
93
00:04:41,085 --> 00:04:42,017
Sounds cool.
94
00:04:42,087 --> 00:04:43,686
Okay, were
not changing clothes
95
00:04:43,754 --> 00:04:45,188
between quarters.
96
00:04:46,425 --> 00:04:47,957
Would anyone
like a drink?
97
00:04:48,025 --> 00:04:49,758
We've got screwdrivers,
Mimosas,
98
00:04:49,827 --> 00:04:52,195
Bloody Marys,
Tom Collins, boilermaker.
99
00:04:52,263 --> 00:04:54,463
Astrid,
it's 10:30 in the morning.
100
00:04:54,532 --> 00:04:55,531
I know.
101
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,533
My daughter's a child
of the modern age.
102
00:04:57,602 --> 00:04:59,634
In my day,
we had our first drink
103
00:04:59,702 --> 00:05:02,538
at 10:15 sharp.
104
00:05:02,607 --> 00:05:06,774
Beverly, you look
like a Mimosa girl.
105
00:05:06,843 --> 00:05:11,514
Oh, Doris, it's like
you've known me
all my life.
106
00:05:11,581 --> 00:05:13,114
Well, anyone can tell
107
00:05:13,183 --> 00:05:15,317
that you're a woman
of taste and breeding.
108
00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:18,987
Yeah, anybody
that started
drinking at 10 A.M.
109
00:05:19,056 --> 00:05:21,756
[Chip]
Look, Mother,
I'm going to score!
110
00:05:24,828 --> 00:05:28,697
I say! This is a game
of touch football.
111
00:05:28,766 --> 00:05:30,565
Yeah. I'm begging
your pardon.
112
00:05:32,069 --> 00:05:34,268
So, Astrid,
where's your husband?
113
00:05:34,337 --> 00:05:36,204
Well, he went
to visit his mother
114
00:05:36,273 --> 00:05:37,471
in a mental institution.
115
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:40,275
That's where my husband
is, too.
116
00:05:40,343 --> 00:05:44,678
We really have
moved up in class.
117
00:05:44,747 --> 00:05:47,549
There we go, sugar.
118
00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:50,817
Are you still breathing?
119
00:05:52,955 --> 00:05:54,421
I forgot my mirror.
120
00:05:56,592 --> 00:05:58,291
All right, all right,
that is it.
121
00:05:58,360 --> 00:05:59,860
Andy,
now you knock that off.
122
00:05:59,929 --> 00:06:01,128
I told you before,
123
00:06:01,196 --> 00:06:03,630
you do not throw things
at the nice rich lady.
124
00:06:03,698 --> 00:06:04,631
Stop it.
125
00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:09,702
Hello. How are you?
126
00:06:09,771 --> 00:06:12,006
Hello!
127
00:06:13,542 --> 00:06:16,376
I'm afraid Grandmama
is a little
hard of hearing.
128
00:06:16,445 --> 00:06:18,479
Oh.
129
00:06:18,547 --> 00:06:22,682
I'm having a lovely time!
130
00:06:22,751 --> 00:06:25,752
Your house
is simply marvelous!
131
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,054
I have dreamed
all my life
132
00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:31,190
of living in a house
just like this!
133
00:06:34,296 --> 00:06:35,828
Nice catch, D.J.
134
00:06:35,897 --> 00:06:37,163
Thanks.
135
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:40,399
Women and football
don't mix, old sport.
136
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:41,633
D.J., take a break.
137
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,469
I'll give you a tour
of the house.
138
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,470
Okay.
139
00:06:44,539 --> 00:06:45,704
All right.
140
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,541
Okay. Hey.
141
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,209
Filling in
for D.J. Conner,
142
00:06:50,278 --> 00:06:51,477
number 32
in your programs,
143
00:06:51,546 --> 00:06:52,744
number 1
in your heart,
144
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,112
is Jackie Harris!
145
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,449
Yeah! All right.
Go get 'em, Jackie.
146
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,150
Hey, Becky, Conner women
are not just cheerleaders.
147
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,618
Get out here.
148
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,287
Oh,
the both of youse.
149
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:05,924
Now you guys
are toast!
150
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,191
Oh!
151
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,294
To my dear departed
husband-- [sniffle]--
152
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,629
Reginald Wentworth.
153
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:12,731
To Daddy.
154
00:07:12,801 --> 00:07:14,999
What a life, man.
155
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,635
You guys,
you just sit around,
156
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,269
drink
until you get gout,
157
00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:20,838
and then-- and then
your servant
158
00:07:20,906 --> 00:07:24,209
carts you around
in a wheelchair.
159
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,211
Yes, but to break up
the busy day,
160
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,979
I thought we might bring
the children out to amuse us.
161
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:31,015
That's a lovely idea.
162
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,085
There's my
little Porcelain.
Come to me.
163
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:36,186
Andy-- Hey, Andy,
looky here.
164
00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:37,722
Mommy's playing
football, huh?
165
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,956
And Mommy's
kicking butt!
166
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:45,228
Oh, hello, Jerry.
Did you like your nap?
167
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:48,698
How did that 100%
pure Egyptian cotton
treat you, huh?
168
00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,502
Would you like
to play ball,
Porcelain?
169
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:52,503
Yes.
170
00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:53,504
He would.
171
00:07:53,572 --> 00:07:54,738
Porcelain,
go there.
172
00:07:54,806 --> 00:07:58,342
Go over-- Look
how wonderful he is.
173
00:07:59,811 --> 00:08:02,245
No! Don't go after it!
Don't go off the porch!
174
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,079
Come to Mommy.
Are you hurt?
175
00:08:10,188 --> 00:08:12,054
Such a violent game.
176
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,657
Go, Chip, go!
[Jackie]
Somebody get him!
177
00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,157
[choking]
178
00:08:18,096 --> 00:08:19,529
Go!
179
00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,197
Go!
180
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,508
Geez, this kitchen is huge.
181
00:08:31,576 --> 00:08:33,775
You could have, like,
a whole party in here.
182
00:08:33,844 --> 00:08:34,843
Oh, yeah.
183
00:08:34,912 --> 00:08:37,346
You can do a lot
of things in here.
184
00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,950
You've got great hair.
185
00:08:42,019 --> 00:08:43,118
Thanks.
186
00:08:43,186 --> 00:08:44,953
Can I have some pretzels?
187
00:08:47,691 --> 00:08:50,760
You're one of those
bad boys, aren't you?
188
00:08:50,828 --> 00:08:51,894
What did I do?
189
00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:57,266
Nothing. But I know
what you want to do.
190
00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:58,600
You do?
191
00:08:58,669 --> 00:09:00,069
Sure.
192
00:09:00,137 --> 00:09:02,171
I know
about guys like you.
193
00:09:02,239 --> 00:09:05,607
Guys from public schools,
194
00:09:05,676 --> 00:09:08,410
with their torn jeans
and sweaty T-shirts.
195
00:09:08,479 --> 00:09:10,878
You like to stay out
late at night,
196
00:09:10,947 --> 00:09:12,614
rip antennas off cars,
197
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:16,016
steal, and spit.
198
00:09:17,353 --> 00:09:19,687
Well, I did take
my parents' car once, but--
199
00:09:19,756 --> 00:09:20,955
I knew it.
200
00:09:21,023 --> 00:09:24,058
I bet you have
African-American
friends, too.
201
00:09:24,127 --> 00:09:25,426
Yeah, don't you?
202
00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:29,030
Oh, D.J., I've always
wanted to do it
203
00:09:29,098 --> 00:09:30,565
with a boy
from the streets.
204
00:09:32,535 --> 00:09:34,435
This isn't your first
time, is it?
205
00:09:34,503 --> 00:09:35,670
Yes. I mean no.
206
00:09:35,738 --> 00:09:37,638
I mean, I've been
with lots of women.
207
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,608
Just not here
in the Vineyard.
208
00:09:42,211 --> 00:09:44,845
Most of them have been
mall chicks and waitresses.
209
00:09:59,895 --> 00:10:02,796
Shouldn't you two
be wearing sweaters?
210
00:10:14,275 --> 00:10:15,742
Slow down, guys,
211
00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:18,177
you don't want
to ruin your appetite
before dinner.
212
00:10:18,247 --> 00:10:20,279
I thought
this was dinner.
213
00:10:20,348 --> 00:10:22,715
No, Mark,
it's an appetizer,
214
00:10:22,784 --> 00:10:23,983
like the thing
they put
215
00:10:24,051 --> 00:10:25,251
in the upper
right-hand corner
216
00:10:25,319 --> 00:10:26,986
of the TV dinner?
217
00:10:27,055 --> 00:10:29,689
Hey! Where are
all the Wentworths?
218
00:10:29,757 --> 00:10:33,258
Oh, they're upstairs,
changing again.
219
00:10:33,327 --> 00:10:35,027
Sitting here
in the lap of luxury,
220
00:10:35,095 --> 00:10:36,295
I just can't help thinking
221
00:10:36,363 --> 00:10:38,430
about the poor starving
children of the world.
222
00:10:38,498 --> 00:10:39,664
I really don't think
223
00:10:39,733 --> 00:10:42,301
I've been doing all I can
for the great unwashed,
224
00:10:42,369 --> 00:10:45,002
so the next time
I'm at the dry cleaner's,
225
00:10:45,072 --> 00:10:49,241
I'm dropping an extra quarter
in the Sally Struthers can.
226
00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:52,377
Oh, man, look at this.
227
00:10:52,446 --> 00:10:55,947
Oh, wow. I think
we found Doris' stash.
228
00:10:56,016 --> 00:10:58,884
Demerol, Valium, Prozac.
229
00:10:58,952 --> 00:11:03,488
Wow, Xanax, Percocet,
lithium.
230
00:11:03,557 --> 00:11:06,324
This chick is looped.
231
00:11:06,393 --> 00:11:10,361
Oh, look, this one here
is just plain old aspirin.
232
00:11:10,430 --> 00:11:13,564
I'll borrow it in case
I get a headache later.
233
00:11:15,101 --> 00:11:16,834
What do you think
this is for?
234
00:11:16,902 --> 00:11:18,336
[buzz]
235
00:11:20,974 --> 00:11:23,307
Hey! Look at that.
You made a butler appear.
236
00:11:23,376 --> 00:11:26,242
And he's--
he's bearing gifts!
237
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:29,847
You really liven up
a poor butler's life.
238
00:11:29,916 --> 00:11:31,849
You know, it must
suck having a job
239
00:11:31,918 --> 00:11:34,685
with the word
"butt" in it.
240
00:11:34,754 --> 00:11:36,453
Hey, take a load off
here, Werner.
241
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,321
We want to buy you a drink.
242
00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:40,323
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Wouldn't be proper.
243
00:11:40,392 --> 00:11:42,292
Too many rules
around here.
244
00:11:43,561 --> 00:11:44,794
Yeah.
245
00:11:44,864 --> 00:11:47,364
And as grande dame
of the Conner family,
246
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:48,631
let me just remind you
247
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,700
I simply cannot
have you laughing
248
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:52,902
in your dining attire.
249
00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:56,472
Ahem.
250
00:11:57,609 --> 00:11:59,542
Really.
251
00:11:59,611 --> 00:12:02,412
Uh, Werner, would you
tell Cook that we're
ready for dinner?
252
00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:03,547
Thank you.
253
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:19,628
Man, look at this:
254
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,197
three forks, four plates,
255
00:12:21,265 --> 00:12:23,132
I don't know
how many glasses.
256
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,401
I know. There's so many
things on the table,
257
00:12:25,469 --> 00:12:28,137
I don't even know
where to put my elbows.
258
00:12:30,675 --> 00:12:33,008
So, Roseanne,
259
00:12:33,077 --> 00:12:36,178
what do people
in the Midwest...
260
00:12:36,246 --> 00:12:37,311
do?
261
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:40,582
You know,
raise families, farm.
262
00:12:40,651 --> 00:12:43,552
Just regular stuff,
like, you know,
work at jobs.
263
00:12:43,621 --> 00:12:45,320
Hmm. You lost me.
264
00:12:46,658 --> 00:12:50,859
Uh, Doris, could you please
pass me the bread there,
265
00:12:50,928 --> 00:12:53,294
if it isn't
a bother or anything?
266
00:12:53,363 --> 00:12:55,463
Bread is never a bother, dear:
267
00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:57,698
not when it's baked,
not when it's sliced,
268
00:12:57,767 --> 00:12:59,467
and not when it's served.
269
00:12:59,536 --> 00:13:01,469
Oh. I-- I know.
270
00:13:01,538 --> 00:13:02,870
I was just--
271
00:13:05,475 --> 00:13:06,908
Excuse me, Astrid?
272
00:13:06,977 --> 00:13:08,041
Yes.
273
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:10,210
I don't mean to be rude,
but who's that?
274
00:13:10,279 --> 00:13:11,212
You missed
the introductions.
275
00:13:11,281 --> 00:13:13,281
This is Dr. Hrundi V. Bakshi,
276
00:13:13,349 --> 00:13:14,783
of the University
of Calcutta.
277
00:13:14,851 --> 00:13:16,651
Hello.
278
00:13:18,788 --> 00:13:21,856
So, uh, Dr. Bakshi there,
279
00:13:21,924 --> 00:13:24,391
what brings you
to the good old U.S. of A?
280
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:25,592
I'm doing a fellowship
281
00:13:25,661 --> 00:13:28,328
at the Kennedy School of
Government in Boston.
282
00:13:28,397 --> 00:13:30,497
Oh, well, that
sounds like fun.
283
00:13:30,566 --> 00:13:34,134
I get a kick out of it.
284
00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:35,368
What I'm finding, however,
285
00:13:35,437 --> 00:13:37,304
is that the American
views on foreign policy
286
00:13:37,372 --> 00:13:39,606
are, at their very least,
cloistered.
287
00:13:39,675 --> 00:13:41,942
No, I totally disagree.
288
00:13:42,011 --> 00:13:44,578
I think the cliché
of the cloistered American
289
00:13:44,646 --> 00:13:45,845
is an anachronism.
290
00:13:45,914 --> 00:13:50,016
Did you say India
or Indiana?
291
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:53,385
India.
292
00:13:53,455 --> 00:13:55,823
India. Oh, yeah.
293
00:13:55,891 --> 00:13:58,324
I didn't ever see
that Gandhi movie,
294
00:13:58,392 --> 00:14:00,493
but was it
Gandhi 2 or 3
295
00:14:00,562 --> 00:14:02,896
where he gets
in that big fight
with Mr. T?
296
00:14:06,234 --> 00:14:09,735
Oh, anyway--
Hey, what's the deal
with the untouchables?
297
00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:12,338
In our country,
we have a caste system.
298
00:14:12,407 --> 00:14:15,808
The untouchables
are on the lowest rung.
299
00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:17,176
They are less than us.
300
00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:18,544
Their lives
are a drudgery.
301
00:14:18,613 --> 00:14:21,580
They get the most
undesirable jobs.
302
00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:22,614
Oh.
303
00:14:22,684 --> 00:14:23,816
Yeah, we have that here.
304
00:14:23,885 --> 00:14:26,085
We just call them
illegal aliens.
305
00:14:31,191 --> 00:14:33,859
Nobody else
is talking to him.
306
00:14:38,299 --> 00:14:41,767
Okay, listen, can I
just say something?
307
00:14:41,835 --> 00:14:43,702
You know, before dinner,
when you came out there
308
00:14:43,771 --> 00:14:45,870
and you saw us and we were
kind of making a joke
309
00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:48,240
at the expense
of your family,
310
00:14:48,309 --> 00:14:50,175
we would really
like to say we're sorry
311
00:14:50,243 --> 00:14:51,843
and we didn't mean
to offend you.
312
00:14:51,911 --> 00:14:53,445
Yes, well,
313
00:14:53,513 --> 00:14:56,881
thank you for your words,
Roseanne.
314
00:14:56,950 --> 00:14:58,816
[speaking foreign language]
315
00:14:58,885 --> 00:14:59,984
eh, Chippie?
316
00:15:00,053 --> 00:15:01,753
Mervielleux.
317
00:15:01,822 --> 00:15:03,689
No, really,
I just want you to know
318
00:15:03,757 --> 00:15:05,322
that we're
very, very sorry.
319
00:15:05,391 --> 00:15:08,392
Roseanne, we have
thanked you for your words,
320
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,095
and that was the end of it.
321
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:23,275
Well, can we
turn a light on?
322
00:15:23,343 --> 00:15:25,776
No. These people
are like moths.
323
00:15:25,844 --> 00:15:27,645
They'll be down here
in a second.
324
00:15:27,714 --> 00:15:29,278
Think they're
still mad at us?
325
00:15:29,347 --> 00:15:32,082
I think we'd have
to cut 'em open
to find out.
326
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:34,550
God, they've got
rules for everything:
327
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,152
rules
for what to wear,
328
00:15:36,221 --> 00:15:37,486
rules for how to eat,
329
00:15:37,556 --> 00:15:39,321
rules
for how to sit.
330
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:40,656
Uh-oh.
331
00:15:40,726 --> 00:15:42,625
Oh. It's you.
332
00:15:42,694 --> 00:15:46,163
Thought maybe the help
was stealing again.
333
00:15:46,231 --> 00:15:47,164
Well, since I'm here,
334
00:15:47,232 --> 00:15:48,798
I'm going to get
a little bicarb.
335
00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:49,965
I've got indigestion.
336
00:15:50,034 --> 00:15:52,034
Well, that's
understandable.
337
00:15:54,206 --> 00:15:56,106
Oh, it's you.
338
00:15:56,174 --> 00:15:57,573
I thought it was Daddy.
339
00:15:57,642 --> 00:16:01,243
I thought
I saw Daddy's ghost.
340
00:16:01,311 --> 00:16:03,378
Daddy's ghost
stole my pen.
341
00:16:03,447 --> 00:16:04,748
He broke
my glass unicorn.
342
00:16:04,816 --> 00:16:07,884
I am sick to death
of Daddy's ghost.
343
00:16:07,953 --> 00:16:10,418
Maybe Daddy broke the horn
off the unicorn
344
00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:12,654
so it would feel
like the other horses.
345
00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:17,826
So it wouldn't
feel so different.
346
00:16:19,064 --> 00:16:22,132
Oh, Daddy, I love you.
I miss you so.
347
00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:26,668
Well, hey, let's all
make some sandwiches.
348
00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:28,103
I'm not hungry.
349
00:16:28,172 --> 00:16:31,106
Come on, Doris.
You hardly ate
anything at dinner.
350
00:16:31,175 --> 00:16:32,507
I'm-- I'm fine, really.
351
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:35,342
I mean really, you only
had, like, what,
a couple of peas?
352
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,679
And who's to say
you kept any of that down?
353
00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:38,880
I said I'm not hungry.
354
00:16:38,949 --> 00:16:40,215
Mother, it's all right.
355
00:16:40,284 --> 00:16:41,783
There's nothing wrong
with coming down
to the kitchen
356
00:16:41,852 --> 00:16:42,917
for a sandwich.
357
00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:44,853
But it's not
why I came here.
358
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:48,123
Take the damn sandwich!
359
00:16:48,191 --> 00:16:50,959
Mother! Did you
just yell at me?
360
00:16:51,028 --> 00:16:52,394
You bet your ass I did.
361
00:16:52,462 --> 00:16:54,296
Now take the damn sandwich.
362
00:16:54,364 --> 00:16:56,165
How can you
speak to me like that?
363
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:58,766
Oh, who are you to be
putting on those airs?
364
00:16:58,835 --> 00:17:01,135
We all know
what the family
was built on:
365
00:17:01,205 --> 00:17:04,505
bootlegging, gambling,
bimbos.
366
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:07,608
God, that felt good.
367
00:17:07,677 --> 00:17:10,444
I've kept that inside
for 80 years.
368
00:17:10,513 --> 00:17:13,680
Lucky for you
my teeth didn't fly out.
369
00:17:15,417 --> 00:17:17,885
This is just what all
of you people need.
370
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,887
What in heaven's name
is she talking about?
371
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,689
You need to get mad,
yell, let it out.
372
00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,691
Then you won't need
to drink so much
373
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,659
or to start foreign wars.
374
00:17:26,728 --> 00:17:29,329
We don't start wars.
We just profit from them.
375
00:17:29,398 --> 00:17:31,331
Oh, we start some.
376
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,700
Now listen to what
this lady has to say.
377
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,101
Roseanne, teach her.
378
00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:37,704
Doris Wentworth,
I'm going to tutor you
379
00:17:37,773 --> 00:17:39,939
in the fine art
of female anger.
380
00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:41,875
I-- I don't think so.
381
00:17:41,943 --> 00:17:44,143
Well, I'm sure,
with your proper upbringing,
382
00:17:44,212 --> 00:17:46,479
you realize that it is rude
383
00:17:46,548 --> 00:17:48,849
to refuse a request
of a guest.
384
00:17:48,917 --> 00:17:50,684
She's got you there,
Mumsie.
385
00:17:51,887 --> 00:17:53,686
I'll give you
one minute.
386
00:17:53,755 --> 00:17:54,788
Great.
387
00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:57,357
Well, let's start
by loosening up.
388
00:17:57,425 --> 00:17:59,092
Unclasp those arms, Doris.
389
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,326
Take the pole out.
390
00:18:00,394 --> 00:18:02,996
Come on. Put your legs
apart, Doris.
391
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,863
And plant 'em firmly
392
00:18:04,932 --> 00:18:06,064
because
once you start yelling,
393
00:18:06,134 --> 00:18:07,367
you might find yourself
off-balance.
394
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:08,567
How do you feel?
395
00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:11,136
A tad...wrong.
396
00:18:11,204 --> 00:18:13,005
Good. Now repeat after me.
397
00:18:13,074 --> 00:18:15,908
I'm not taking any crap
from anyone.
398
00:18:15,976 --> 00:18:17,542
I am not--
Stop.
399
00:18:17,611 --> 00:18:20,212
It is not "I am."
It's "I'm"!
400
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,447
I'm not taking any--
401
00:18:23,516 --> 00:18:25,383
do I have to say
the C word?
402
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,551
Yes, you do, Doris.
You have to say it
403
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:28,988
because it's the most
important word
404
00:18:29,056 --> 00:18:30,188
in the whole damn
sentence.
405
00:18:30,257 --> 00:18:32,124
Trust her, Doris.
She's very good
at this.
406
00:18:32,192 --> 00:18:35,826
I'm not taking
any crap from anyone.
407
00:18:35,895 --> 00:18:37,095
That was pretty good,
408
00:18:37,164 --> 00:18:39,164
but are you serving tea,
Doris?
409
00:18:39,232 --> 00:18:41,099
You've got to make it
shrill and grating.
410
00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:43,334
I'm not taking any crap
from anyone!
411
00:18:43,402 --> 00:18:46,538
You know, like fingernails
on a chalkboard.
412
00:18:46,606 --> 00:18:49,873
I'm not taking
any crap from anyone!
413
00:18:52,078 --> 00:18:53,010
Good!
414
00:18:53,079 --> 00:18:54,645
Now personalize it!
415
00:18:54,714 --> 00:18:56,147
Make it your own.
416
00:18:56,216 --> 00:18:59,383
I'm not taking
any damn crap
from anyone.
417
00:18:59,452 --> 00:19:00,650
Do you hear that,
Astrid?
418
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,020
Bravo, Mama.
419
00:19:03,089 --> 00:19:04,621
How do you feel?
420
00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:06,890
I feel...
421
00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:09,759
fan-freaking-tastic.
422
00:19:11,297 --> 00:19:12,795
That's great.
423
00:19:12,865 --> 00:19:15,365
See? Now you won't need
to take those pills anymore.
424
00:19:15,433 --> 00:19:16,366
I won't?
425
00:19:16,434 --> 00:19:18,869
No. Women who yell
don't need pills.
426
00:19:18,937 --> 00:19:21,604
Men invented pills
to shut women up.
427
00:19:24,943 --> 00:19:26,676
I'm ashamed to be a man!
428
00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:28,645
That's the spirit,
Chippie!
429
00:19:28,714 --> 00:19:30,613
I want to yell, too.
430
00:19:30,682 --> 00:19:33,149
Yahoo!
431
00:19:33,218 --> 00:19:34,583
It does feel good.
432
00:19:34,652 --> 00:19:36,919
Now, something here
tells me
433
00:19:36,988 --> 00:19:39,222
that that's not the first
time you've done that, Astrid.
434
00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:41,291
She's a little too good
to be a beginner.
435
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,591
No, no, no, no, no.
436
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,526
It's the first time
I've ever done it.
437
00:19:44,595 --> 00:19:46,461
Roseanne, I think
we've got ourselves
a natural.
438
00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:47,462
[Roseanne]
Great.
439
00:19:47,531 --> 00:19:48,630
Practice makes perfect.
440
00:19:48,699 --> 00:19:51,234
Give it to me again, baby,
right in the face.
441
00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:54,236
I said no, Daddy!
442
00:19:57,908 --> 00:20:00,876
I believe
our work here is done.
443
00:20:00,945 --> 00:20:04,280
I'm absolutely famished.
444
00:20:04,348 --> 00:20:06,215
I'm hungry, too.
Yelling makes you hungry.
445
00:20:06,283 --> 00:20:08,382
Wait till you see
how much you can eat
446
00:20:08,451 --> 00:20:11,119
after you start
breaking things.
447
00:20:11,188 --> 00:20:12,621
May I make a suggestion?
448
00:20:12,690 --> 00:20:13,989
Stella.
449
00:20:14,058 --> 00:20:15,991
My God. The help.
450
00:20:17,861 --> 00:20:21,363
Roseanne, you're good,
451
00:20:21,431 --> 00:20:23,665
but there's
something missing.
452
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:24,966
Do tell.
453
00:20:25,034 --> 00:20:27,135
See, you got to put
some bottom into it.
454
00:20:27,204 --> 00:20:29,204
See? Give it
some body language.
455
00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:30,638
You know,
get that hip going.
456
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:31,639
Mm-hmm.
457
00:20:31,708 --> 00:20:33,074
Okay, then get
that head going.
458
00:20:33,143 --> 00:20:34,675
Mm-hmm.
That's it, that's it.
459
00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:36,177
Now give 'em the hand.
460
00:20:38,514 --> 00:20:42,217
That's it.
And then you tell 'em
"Get out of my face!"
461
00:20:43,519 --> 00:20:46,454
'Cause Stella
don't take that!
462
00:20:46,522 --> 00:20:48,923
You better check yourself
463
00:20:48,992 --> 00:20:52,160
before you wreck yourself,
uh-huh.
464
00:20:54,330 --> 00:20:56,863
Go, Stella.
465
00:20:56,932 --> 00:20:58,632
Go, Stella. Go, Stella.
466
00:20:58,701 --> 00:21:00,167
Go, Stella. Go, Stella.
467
00:21:00,237 --> 00:21:04,371
Stella!
468
00:21:12,347 --> 00:21:13,847
Bye-bye.
Bye.
469
00:21:15,551 --> 00:21:17,583
Oh, Roseanne.
470
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,553
I swear
I'm going to cry.
471
00:21:19,620 --> 00:21:21,288
This visit
was so delicious.
472
00:21:21,357 --> 00:21:23,323
Conners are a hoot.
473
00:21:23,392 --> 00:21:25,892
We can't wait
to see you
in Lanford.
474
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,161
Oh, I can't wait
to have you there.
475
00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:29,995
As soon as our social
schedule permits.
476
00:21:30,064 --> 00:21:30,996
Oh, I hope so.
477
00:21:31,065 --> 00:21:31,997
We will, we will.
478
00:21:32,066 --> 00:21:33,433
Well,
thank you all again.
479
00:21:33,502 --> 00:21:34,867
Thank you.
It's just been wonderful.
480
00:21:34,935 --> 00:21:36,169
Good-bye. I'll miss you.
481
00:21:36,237 --> 00:21:37,270
Bye-bye.
482
00:22:15,609 --> 00:22:18,543
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