All language subtitles for Roseanne S09E06 Pampered to a Pulp - fiveofseven

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,730 --> 00:00:12,932 [phone ringing] 2 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Wow. 3 00:00:19,273 --> 00:00:21,839 I believe they're here. 4 00:00:21,908 --> 00:00:24,409 Welcome to the Golden Chamber Spa. I'm Carol. 5 00:00:24,478 --> 00:00:26,511 You must be Roseanne and Jackie. 6 00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:28,246 Yeah, you got anything to drink? 7 00:00:28,315 --> 00:00:31,216 Yeah, the air conditioner in our cab was busted. 8 00:00:31,285 --> 00:00:32,484 Man, it was so sticky, 9 00:00:32,553 --> 00:00:35,787 I about pulled the whole back seat out with me. 10 00:00:35,856 --> 00:00:37,822 Uh-huh. 11 00:00:37,891 --> 00:00:39,757 Why don't we check you in? 12 00:00:39,826 --> 00:00:41,092 Rinse off, 13 00:00:41,161 --> 00:00:43,394 and I'll meet you down here for your evaluation. 14 00:00:43,463 --> 00:00:44,562 Yama, the bags. 15 00:00:47,067 --> 00:00:49,800 Can you put us close to the soda machine? 16 00:00:49,869 --> 00:00:53,938 Yeah. I'm sweating like a pig, man. 17 00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:02,714 I know that this is a bit awkward, 18 00:01:02,783 --> 00:01:05,182 but I do have to identify the problem areas. 19 00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:10,354 Oh, Roseanne, what is this back here? 20 00:01:10,423 --> 00:01:13,057 Oh, well, that's a dowager's hump. 21 00:01:13,126 --> 00:01:16,393 A lot of Eastern European women have them. 22 00:01:16,462 --> 00:01:18,095 I don't have one. 23 00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:20,764 That's because I smashed yours when you were little. 24 00:01:23,302 --> 00:01:26,103 You really are quite hairy, aren't you? 25 00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:30,374 Well, I think it's just, it's kind of thick and dark, 26 00:01:30,442 --> 00:01:32,176 so it looks like there's a lot. 27 00:01:32,245 --> 00:01:34,044 You should have a bikini wax immediately. 28 00:01:34,114 --> 00:01:36,713 I shave my thighs regularly. 29 00:01:37,783 --> 00:01:39,416 I can see the stubble. 30 00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:46,823 Jackie, your hair is thin, 31 00:01:46,892 --> 00:01:48,825 follicles are clogged, 32 00:01:48,894 --> 00:01:51,328 root texture is rough. 33 00:01:51,398 --> 00:01:53,997 I'm very sorry. 34 00:01:54,066 --> 00:01:57,234 And, Roseanne, I see lots of gray 35 00:01:57,303 --> 00:01:58,768 and split ends, 36 00:01:58,837 --> 00:02:03,506 and what is going on with your eyebrows? 37 00:02:03,576 --> 00:02:07,177 Oh, I tried to light the pilot light last week. 38 00:02:09,982 --> 00:02:13,016 Your skin is dirty, mmm. 39 00:02:13,085 --> 00:02:14,852 Um... 40 00:02:14,921 --> 00:02:17,586 some scarring. I would recommend a facial. 41 00:02:17,655 --> 00:02:18,822 Every day. 42 00:02:18,891 --> 00:02:23,426 It's unusual, but so is your skin. 43 00:02:23,495 --> 00:02:29,232 Jackie, okay, yeah, a lot of dead skin on this face. 44 00:02:29,301 --> 00:02:31,768 Um, and those eye bags. 45 00:02:31,836 --> 00:02:33,869 Uh, wow! Okay. 46 00:02:36,341 --> 00:02:40,643 Okay, neck skin is not good. 47 00:02:40,711 --> 00:02:43,213 It has very little elasticity. 48 00:02:43,282 --> 00:02:45,615 Yours is looser than most. 49 00:02:45,684 --> 00:02:48,718 I'm not really sure what to recommend here. 50 00:02:48,786 --> 00:02:51,587 Well, maybe we should just pack our bags and go home. 51 00:02:51,656 --> 00:02:54,724 We do have a product, from France. 52 00:02:54,793 --> 00:02:56,192 It is a thigh cream, 53 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,261 but I think that your neck would respond. 54 00:03:05,704 --> 00:03:09,639 Jackie, your breasts are oddly shaped 55 00:03:09,708 --> 00:03:12,676 and too small for your body. 56 00:03:12,744 --> 00:03:16,579 I am so sorry. 57 00:03:16,648 --> 00:03:20,449 And, Roseanne, ah, mmm, 58 00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:22,752 your derriere is badly in need 59 00:03:22,821 --> 00:03:27,290 of a re-shaping and a lift. 60 00:03:27,358 --> 00:03:29,659 I guess we're probably the most disgusting people 61 00:03:29,726 --> 00:03:31,826 you've ever tried to help, right? 62 00:03:31,896 --> 00:03:34,096 We don't judge. 63 00:03:34,165 --> 00:03:36,132 We reveal and heal. 64 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,967 That's what we do here. 65 00:03:38,036 --> 00:03:40,702 So, Jackie, why don't you hop up on the bike? 66 00:03:40,771 --> 00:03:42,237 And we'll test your endurance. Okay. 67 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:46,275 And, Roseanne, we will measure your body fat. 68 00:03:46,343 --> 00:03:48,177 Great. 69 00:03:48,245 --> 00:03:50,345 Here. 70 00:03:50,414 --> 00:03:53,715 Oh, wow, okay, you're bigger than you look. 71 00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:54,782 Okay. 72 00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:05,193 You are unpleasantly fat. 73 00:04:05,262 --> 00:04:06,227 Thank you. 74 00:04:06,296 --> 00:04:07,496 Okay. 75 00:04:07,565 --> 00:04:09,465 Help. Roseanne? 76 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:23,945 ♪ If what doesn't kill us is makin' us stronger ♪ 77 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,114 ♪ We're gonna last longer ♪ 78 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,950 ♪ Then the greatest wall in China ♪ 79 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:32,120 ♪ Or that rabbit with a drum ♪ 80 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:36,290 ♪ If there's one thing that I've learned ♪ 81 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,459 ♪ While waiting for my turn ♪ 82 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,462 ♪ It's that in each life some rain falls ♪ 83 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,632 ♪ But you also get some sun ♪ 84 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:48,636 ♪ And we'll make out better than okay ♪ 85 00:04:48,704 --> 00:04:51,472 ♪ Hear what I say ♪ 86 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:56,144 ♪ Yeah, any day ♪ 87 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:02,750 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 88 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,738 [speaking Japanese] 89 00:05:30,846 --> 00:05:32,112 [speaking Japanese] 90 00:06:13,556 --> 00:06:17,424 The seaweed wrap must be airtight. 91 00:06:17,493 --> 00:06:23,028 Gaps, spaces, and openings will not be tolerated. 92 00:06:23,097 --> 00:06:26,600 So this cleans out all the toxins, huh? 93 00:06:26,668 --> 00:06:30,003 It is not a mere cleaning. 94 00:06:30,071 --> 00:06:32,938 The impurities are purged 95 00:06:33,007 --> 00:06:37,443 by a relentless drive through the skin. 96 00:06:37,512 --> 00:06:40,212 I'm scared, Roseanne. 97 00:06:40,281 --> 00:06:42,214 Tighter. 98 00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:44,584 Oh. Yike. 99 00:06:44,653 --> 00:06:46,786 That's pretty tight. 100 00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:50,523 At least I can still move my fingers. 101 00:06:50,592 --> 00:06:53,092 You are weak. Pull! 102 00:06:53,161 --> 00:06:54,927 [both exhaling] 103 00:06:54,996 --> 00:06:57,931 Okay, now I can't breathe. 104 00:06:57,999 --> 00:06:59,398 Perfect. 105 00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:01,833 Now, you will feel itching. 106 00:07:01,902 --> 00:07:04,203 It means that the toxins 107 00:07:04,272 --> 00:07:08,640 are fleeing from the purification. 108 00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:11,577 After that, report to the showers. 109 00:07:18,420 --> 00:07:22,120 Oh, I really wish she hadn't said that thing about the itching. 110 00:07:31,131 --> 00:07:32,897 Well... 111 00:07:32,966 --> 00:07:37,769 I haven't seen a worse case since maybe Janet Reno. 112 00:07:37,837 --> 00:07:40,471 That's hitting below the belt. 113 00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:44,209 And Ms. Reno refused the products that I recommended, 114 00:07:44,278 --> 00:07:47,545 just like Tommy Lee Jones and James Woods. 115 00:07:47,614 --> 00:07:49,347 Well, we'll buy your products. 116 00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:52,551 Oh, yeah, we'll get all your products. 117 00:07:52,619 --> 00:07:53,918 Oh, good. 118 00:07:57,790 --> 00:07:59,724 Your pores are engorged! 119 00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:01,893 Ew, with what? 120 00:08:01,962 --> 00:08:05,363 Debris. 121 00:08:05,432 --> 00:08:07,865 That's why your face looks so rough and peasant-like. 122 00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,636 You eat a lot of cheese. 123 00:08:11,704 --> 00:08:12,870 No dairy! 124 00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:15,973 Ssh! Ssh! 125 00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:18,075 No dairy! 126 00:08:18,145 --> 00:08:20,110 Do you know the pores define the face? 127 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:22,847 They're little fountains that squirt garbage out of the body, 128 00:08:22,915 --> 00:08:24,949 and sometimes that fountain gets clogged, 129 00:08:25,017 --> 00:08:27,117 and that's what enlarges your pores. 130 00:08:27,186 --> 00:08:30,555 Large pores make a face look tired and cheap. 131 00:08:30,623 --> 00:08:31,556 What is that? 132 00:08:31,624 --> 00:08:32,923 It's an extractor. 133 00:08:32,992 --> 00:08:35,526 It gets rid of blackheads, pimples, et cetera. 134 00:08:35,595 --> 00:08:37,294 Ow! 135 00:08:37,363 --> 00:08:38,295 One. 136 00:08:38,364 --> 00:08:40,798 Ow! 137 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:45,269 We're just going to have to peel off this top face. 138 00:08:45,338 --> 00:08:47,404 I recommend an acid peel. 139 00:08:47,473 --> 00:08:49,239 Michael Jackson just swears by them. 140 00:08:49,309 --> 00:08:51,442 Oh, he's got beautiful skin. 141 00:08:53,379 --> 00:08:55,279 Ohh! 142 00:08:55,348 --> 00:08:56,848 Ow! 143 00:08:56,916 --> 00:08:59,083 Calm! 144 00:09:04,423 --> 00:09:05,857 [peeling] 145 00:09:05,925 --> 00:09:08,359 [Roseanne] Ow! 146 00:09:16,835 --> 00:09:20,604 It's like little people food. 147 00:09:20,672 --> 00:09:23,340 I can't believe it, I'm almost finished. 148 00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:24,641 Excuse me. 149 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,676 Please tell me that this is not the dinner. 150 00:09:26,745 --> 00:09:28,812 Please tell me that, even if you have to lie. 151 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,847 I'm afraid it is. Carol has you both 152 00:09:30,916 --> 00:09:32,616 on a very strict 800-calorie diet. 153 00:09:32,684 --> 00:09:34,217 Well, you know what? 154 00:09:34,286 --> 00:09:36,786 I would like to know what Carol is eating tonight. 155 00:09:36,855 --> 00:09:37,787 Tell me. 156 00:09:37,856 --> 00:09:39,022 Tell me! 157 00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:42,224 Ma'am, please, there's still dessert. 158 00:09:42,293 --> 00:09:43,861 Oh, okay, good. 159 00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:46,797 Let me take these. 160 00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:49,932 Voilá. 161 00:09:54,574 --> 00:09:58,341 I'm really not getting this joke, junior. 162 00:10:00,913 --> 00:10:03,714 This is our last meal for 12 hours. 163 00:10:03,782 --> 00:10:04,914 Like hell it is. 164 00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:06,784 I can get us a pizza here in 30 minutes. 165 00:10:06,852 --> 00:10:09,585 No, don't you start that. 166 00:10:09,654 --> 00:10:12,889 I'm going to get two pepperoni pizzas 167 00:10:12,957 --> 00:10:15,357 with extra topping of two pepperoni pizzas. 168 00:10:15,426 --> 00:10:17,126 Roseanne. 169 00:10:17,195 --> 00:10:19,562 You'll never get that past the guard at the gate. 170 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:20,630 Oh, yeah, I will, 171 00:10:20,698 --> 00:10:22,098 because you'll distract the guy, 172 00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:26,035 and I'll smack him with my hump. 173 00:10:26,104 --> 00:10:28,438 Roseanne. 174 00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:30,239 Listen, if you are not with me, 175 00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:31,507 then you're against me. 176 00:10:31,576 --> 00:10:32,809 You can do it. 177 00:10:32,877 --> 00:10:35,011 People can go a month without food. 178 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,247 Yeah, because they're idiots. 179 00:10:38,316 --> 00:10:39,415 I need food! 180 00:10:42,987 --> 00:10:45,988 I'm not going to make it, Jackie. 181 00:11:03,373 --> 00:11:06,008 Don't, stop hanging on me. 182 00:11:10,181 --> 00:11:13,982 Ah, why don't you just go on without me? 183 00:11:14,051 --> 00:11:17,352 Just leave me the gun so I can shoot the buzzards. 184 00:11:17,421 --> 00:11:18,821 Come on, come on. 185 00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:21,022 We're gonna get in trouble with the hike leader. 186 00:11:21,092 --> 00:11:23,926 Oh, my God, Jackie. What? 187 00:11:23,995 --> 00:11:26,295 There's a big, fat, juicy squirrel over there. 188 00:11:26,363 --> 00:11:27,395 Get a rock! 189 00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:30,532 You are deranged from lack of protein. 190 00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:33,135 Bean him! 191 00:11:33,203 --> 00:11:35,670 Hi. 192 00:11:35,739 --> 00:11:36,771 Hi. 193 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,873 Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? 194 00:11:38,942 --> 00:11:40,441 No, but can I eat your dinner? 195 00:11:42,813 --> 00:11:45,581 Let me know when you're the last man on Earth. 196 00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:49,618 Come on, let's shuffle back to our room 197 00:11:49,687 --> 00:11:50,852 and nap before lunch. 198 00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:53,354 Maybe we'll get lucky and drop dead in our sleep. 199 00:11:53,423 --> 00:11:54,956 Now, see? Here, we're in trouble, 200 00:11:55,025 --> 00:11:56,558 here comes the hike leader. 201 00:11:56,626 --> 00:11:58,125 Excuse me, ladies. 202 00:11:58,194 --> 00:11:59,861 No habla ingles. 203 00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:02,263 Look, if you want to quit the hike, 204 00:12:02,332 --> 00:12:04,465 I just need to know. It's really no problem. 205 00:12:04,535 --> 00:12:06,901 Okay, well, yeah, we're gonna quit the hike. 206 00:12:06,969 --> 00:12:09,336 Yeah, I'm kind of amazed you made it this far. 207 00:12:12,241 --> 00:12:13,742 What's that supposed to mean? 208 00:12:13,810 --> 00:12:16,076 Well, a woman of your size 209 00:12:16,145 --> 00:12:18,746 really shouldn't put so much strain on her heart. 210 00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:23,317 Are you saying that I can't finish that hike? 211 00:12:23,386 --> 00:12:26,921 I'm just saying that not everyone was meant to be fit. 212 00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:28,422 Well, I'm fit! 213 00:12:28,491 --> 00:12:30,157 Yeah, right, 214 00:12:30,226 --> 00:12:33,060 and I'm the World Boxing Council lightweight champion. 215 00:12:35,098 --> 00:12:39,100 Well, I'll snap your spine in half like a potato chip, you bitch. 216 00:12:46,109 --> 00:12:47,040 Jackie. 217 00:12:47,109 --> 00:12:48,041 What? 218 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:49,042 There's another squirrel, 219 00:12:49,111 --> 00:12:52,346 and I am not letting this one get away. 220 00:12:52,415 --> 00:12:54,114 Oh, my God. 221 00:12:56,919 --> 00:13:00,387 And reach forward through the fingertips of your left hand. 222 00:13:00,456 --> 00:13:02,422 Now drop the right shoulder underneath your thigh, 223 00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:04,357 reach your right hand between your legs. 224 00:13:04,427 --> 00:13:06,927 Wrap your left arm around your body with your right hand, 225 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,628 grab on to your left wrist. 226 00:13:08,697 --> 00:13:11,297 Inhale, lift the chest away from the tailbone. 227 00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:12,833 Let's press the arms straight. 228 00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:15,234 Open up your chest towards the sky. 229 00:13:16,572 --> 00:13:20,073 This is not human. 230 00:13:20,142 --> 00:13:23,744 I thought yoga was about reefer and Ravi Shankar. 231 00:13:23,813 --> 00:13:26,579 And now back on your buttocks. 232 00:13:26,648 --> 00:13:28,315 Press the left heel forward 233 00:13:28,383 --> 00:13:30,851 and with both hands, lift the foot over your head. 234 00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:40,560 Hi, Pete, I hate to disturb you, 235 00:13:40,628 --> 00:13:43,796 but I have a couple of openings 236 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,298 for past-life regression therapy, 237 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,070 if anyone's interested. 238 00:13:49,137 --> 00:13:54,341 I think at this point I would volunteer for lab testing. 239 00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:55,842 Pick me up. 240 00:14:03,485 --> 00:14:06,853 Now, it's not unusual for a person 241 00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:10,255 to question the reality of past lives, 242 00:14:10,324 --> 00:14:14,293 so let's begin by shaking off our uncertainty and doubts. 243 00:14:14,362 --> 00:14:17,464 Just shake off that cosmic debris. 244 00:14:23,304 --> 00:14:24,237 Very nice. 245 00:14:24,305 --> 00:14:25,436 Thank you. 246 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:33,846 Yama is going to be infusing me with his breath 247 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:37,850 so that I can better assist you. 248 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,119 We're going to... 249 00:14:40,187 --> 00:14:42,889 go inside-- 250 00:14:48,328 --> 00:14:51,030 We're going to go inside 251 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,465 so that we can find out 252 00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:56,334 why you come back into this lifetime 253 00:14:56,403 --> 00:14:58,603 with these obstacles. 254 00:14:58,672 --> 00:15:01,273 You, with the eye bags, 255 00:15:01,342 --> 00:15:04,076 and you, so unpleasantly fat. 256 00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:11,082 So let's begin by breathing in the air 257 00:15:11,151 --> 00:15:13,051 through our eyeballs, 258 00:15:13,119 --> 00:15:15,687 and bringing it down 259 00:15:15,756 --> 00:15:18,057 into our diaphragms. 260 00:15:18,124 --> 00:15:23,629 Just follow Yama and I and inhale. 261 00:15:27,835 --> 00:15:30,002 Exhale, I didn't hear a fah. 262 00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:32,704 Inhale. 263 00:15:32,773 --> 00:15:34,404 [all] Faaaaaah! 264 00:15:34,473 --> 00:15:38,944 Very nice. Now just continue that gentle breathing, 265 00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:42,313 in silence, and close your eyes-- 266 00:15:42,381 --> 00:15:43,849 Faaaah! Faaaah! 267 00:15:43,918 --> 00:15:46,551 ...and know that what we call life 268 00:15:46,619 --> 00:15:51,822 we have experienced many times in the past. 269 00:15:51,892 --> 00:15:55,759 Imagine yourselves in nature. 270 00:15:55,828 --> 00:15:58,396 There's a bridge up ahead. 271 00:15:58,464 --> 00:16:02,667 On the other side lies a lifetime 272 00:16:02,735 --> 00:16:07,272 you have not visited in many years. 273 00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:09,840 Go ahead. 274 00:16:09,909 --> 00:16:12,109 Cross the bridge. 275 00:16:19,018 --> 00:16:19,950 There she is. 276 00:16:20,019 --> 00:16:22,219 Xena, the warrior princess. 277 00:16:22,287 --> 00:16:23,220 Get her. 278 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,532 Ha ha. 279 00:16:35,601 --> 00:16:40,203 I guess your mother never told you not to hit girls. 280 00:16:40,272 --> 00:16:42,106 Xantippi! 281 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:44,808 I should have known these men were with you. 282 00:16:44,877 --> 00:16:46,844 Forget them, Xena. 283 00:16:46,913 --> 00:16:49,345 I have come to give you a real challenge. 284 00:16:49,414 --> 00:16:51,048 Fine. 285 00:16:51,116 --> 00:16:52,482 But no weapons. 286 00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:20,378 You have won, Xena. 287 00:17:20,445 --> 00:17:23,347 Slay me now and end my suffering! 288 00:17:23,415 --> 00:17:28,985 Oh, I have something even more terrible in mind for you. 289 00:17:29,054 --> 00:17:31,955 Haison! Kim! 290 00:17:34,726 --> 00:17:36,460 Scrub her. 291 00:17:38,730 --> 00:17:39,896 Aah! Aah! 292 00:17:43,569 --> 00:17:47,236 Slowly bring your awareness back into the room. 293 00:17:47,305 --> 00:17:49,873 Ahhh! 294 00:17:49,942 --> 00:17:52,308 Oh, man, that was so awesome. 295 00:17:52,377 --> 00:17:56,578 I was kicking ass, and my neck looked great! 296 00:17:56,646 --> 00:17:59,415 Jackie, who were you? 297 00:17:59,484 --> 00:18:02,485 I was a leper. 298 00:18:06,024 --> 00:18:08,424 Parts kept falling off of me. 299 00:18:20,171 --> 00:18:23,139 Ladies, congratulations. 300 00:18:23,208 --> 00:18:24,540 Give yourselves a big hand 301 00:18:24,608 --> 00:18:25,974 for all the hard work 302 00:18:26,043 --> 00:18:29,111 that you've accomplished thus far. 303 00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:32,414 Now that you've achieved these beautiful bodies, 304 00:18:32,483 --> 00:18:35,150 it's a shame to cover them up. 305 00:18:35,218 --> 00:18:36,851 But it is the law, 306 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,953 so it is with great pleasure 307 00:18:39,022 --> 00:18:40,989 that I introduce to you 308 00:18:41,058 --> 00:18:44,993 world-renowned fashion designer Todd Oldham. 309 00:18:47,798 --> 00:18:48,863 Thank you, Carol. 310 00:18:51,335 --> 00:18:52,634 I believe every good designer 311 00:18:52,702 --> 00:18:55,302 filters his ideas through the era that we live in, 312 00:18:55,371 --> 00:18:57,206 and we're living in an era of self-expression, 313 00:18:57,274 --> 00:18:59,107 where colors, patterns, and textures 314 00:18:59,176 --> 00:19:00,742 all mingle perfectly together. 315 00:19:00,811 --> 00:19:03,344 Were what's fashionable is what makes you feel good. 316 00:19:03,412 --> 00:19:05,814 So today I want to show you a few pieces 317 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,082 from my Fall 1996 collection. 318 00:19:07,151 --> 00:19:09,683 Ah, so do you make anything over a size 3? 319 00:19:09,752 --> 00:19:10,985 Yes, we do. 320 00:19:11,054 --> 00:19:12,587 Oh, great, good. 321 00:19:12,655 --> 00:19:16,724 Uh, Todd, maybe you could give Roseanne some help. 322 00:19:16,792 --> 00:19:17,725 Okay. 323 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:24,232 It's a pleasure. 324 00:19:24,301 --> 00:19:25,466 Nice to meet you. 325 00:19:25,535 --> 00:19:28,502 Well, I think to cantilever the top section, 326 00:19:28,571 --> 00:19:31,439 a really strong foundation garment is in order, 327 00:19:31,507 --> 00:19:33,907 and the mid-section, 328 00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:36,411 let's keep it dark and go with long cuts 329 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:39,079 to sort of de-emphasize this area 330 00:19:39,148 --> 00:19:41,949 and bring your attention...elsewhere. 331 00:19:42,017 --> 00:19:44,652 And then, to avoid that cloven hoof problem, 332 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,423 I think a closed-toe shoe would be in order. 333 00:19:47,491 --> 00:19:49,524 So don't wear anything reflective. 334 00:19:49,592 --> 00:19:51,058 Keep it simple, nothing shiny. 335 00:19:51,127 --> 00:19:53,561 No furs. It'll add too much bulk. 336 00:19:53,630 --> 00:19:56,664 No belts, just go with what you want to do, 337 00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:58,633 what you feel good about. 338 00:19:58,701 --> 00:20:01,201 You have such pretty skin, such a pretty face. 339 00:20:01,270 --> 00:20:02,737 Aw, thank you. 340 00:20:02,806 --> 00:20:04,604 Oh, sure. 341 00:20:04,674 --> 00:20:06,440 Oh, my goodness. 342 00:20:10,914 --> 00:20:13,180 Now, girls, is there anything special 343 00:20:13,249 --> 00:20:15,816 that you'd like in your make-up today? 344 00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:17,450 No. You're the artist. 345 00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:19,287 Yeah, just go with your instinct. 346 00:20:19,356 --> 00:20:20,453 Good. 347 00:20:20,522 --> 00:20:21,854 Because from my experience, 348 00:20:21,925 --> 00:20:23,991 I have found out that natural is best. 349 00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:26,426 Let your face tell its own story. 350 00:20:26,494 --> 00:20:27,560 Would that be okay? 351 00:20:27,629 --> 00:20:28,594 All right. All right. 352 00:20:41,377 --> 00:20:42,310 Wow! 353 00:20:58,626 --> 00:21:01,461 Oh, my God. 354 00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:02,695 [clink] 355 00:21:25,086 --> 00:21:26,920 We're going to go inside 356 00:21:26,989 --> 00:21:29,688 so that we can find out 357 00:21:29,757 --> 00:21:31,891 why you've come back into this lifetime 358 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,093 with these obstacles. 359 00:21:34,162 --> 00:21:37,696 You with the eye bags, 360 00:21:37,765 --> 00:21:40,433 and you so unpleasantly fat. 361 00:21:44,172 --> 00:21:48,007 So let's begin by breathing in the air 362 00:21:48,075 --> 00:21:50,543 through our eyeballs, 363 00:21:50,612 --> 00:21:55,281 and bringing it down into our diaphragms. 364 00:21:55,350 --> 00:21:57,917 Just follow Yama and I 365 00:21:57,985 --> 00:22:00,386 and inhale. 366 00:22:02,724 --> 00:22:04,791 Faaaaaah! 367 00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:07,793 Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 28901

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.