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1
00:00:05,856 --> 00:00:07,755
I helped pick the numbers.
2
00:00:07,824 --> 00:00:08,924
Again.
3
00:00:08,993 --> 00:00:09,925
[rewinding]
4
00:00:09,994 --> 00:00:12,094
I helped pick the numbers.
5
00:00:12,162 --> 00:00:13,261
Again.
6
00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:14,296
[rewinding]
7
00:00:14,365 --> 00:00:16,165
I helped pick the numbers.
8
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:20,268
The more I watch,
the more beautiful
she becomes.
9
00:00:20,337 --> 00:00:21,938
I must meet her.
10
00:00:22,006 --> 00:00:24,107
Her name is Jackie Harris.
11
00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:26,943
She's divorced,
part-owner of a diner,
12
00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:29,278
lives in a small town
called Lanford,
13
00:00:29,347 --> 00:00:32,281
and in high school
she was spirit captain,
14
00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:33,883
whatever that is.
15
00:00:33,952 --> 00:00:34,883
Lovely.
16
00:00:36,687 --> 00:00:38,454
We're going to Lanford.
17
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,130
Where is Lanford?
18
00:00:51,202 --> 00:00:55,805
♪ If what doesn't kill us is makin' us stronger ♪
19
00:00:55,874 --> 00:00:57,974
♪ We're gonna last longer ♪
20
00:00:58,043 --> 00:01:00,810
♪ Then the greatest wall in China ♪
21
00:01:00,879 --> 00:01:03,981
♪ Or that rabbit with a drum ♪
22
00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:08,152
♪ If there's one thing that I've learned ♪
23
00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:10,320
♪ While waiting for my turn ♪
24
00:01:10,389 --> 00:01:13,323
♪ It's that in each life some rain falls ♪
25
00:01:13,392 --> 00:01:16,494
♪ But you also get some sun ♪
26
00:01:16,563 --> 00:01:20,498
♪ And we'll make out better than okay ♪
27
00:01:20,567 --> 00:01:23,334
♪ Hear what I say ♪
28
00:01:23,403 --> 00:01:28,005
♪ Yeah, any day ♪
29
00:01:42,255 --> 00:01:45,323
Okay, Grandma.
Say hi to Dad.
30
00:01:45,392 --> 00:01:48,693
Yeah, I love you, too.
31
00:01:48,762 --> 00:01:49,862
I miss you, too.
32
00:01:49,931 --> 00:01:54,367
Yeah, I really
love you, too.
33
00:01:54,436 --> 00:01:57,370
This is D.J.
34
00:01:57,439 --> 00:01:59,873
D.J. Conner.
35
00:01:59,942 --> 00:02:01,341
Bye.
36
00:02:01,409 --> 00:02:04,210
Oh, God!
37
00:02:04,279 --> 00:02:07,714
That's it!
38
00:02:07,783 --> 00:02:09,048
That's it!
39
00:02:09,117 --> 00:02:11,217
Dating: hell.
Hell: dating.
40
00:02:11,286 --> 00:02:13,786
It's the same!
It's not different.
41
00:02:13,856 --> 00:02:18,391
I thought that I had been
to the dark side
of dating, Roseanne,
42
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:19,526
but I was wrong.
43
00:02:19,595 --> 00:02:22,896
He whined to me
all night long
44
00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:25,231
about how his ex-wife
was trying to soak
45
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,733
every last dime from him,
46
00:02:26,802 --> 00:02:29,937
and then he waited for me
to pick up the check.
47
00:02:30,006 --> 00:02:33,573
So that makes me Jackie
the loser magnet.
48
00:02:35,978 --> 00:02:37,911
Well, now at least
you're going after guys
49
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:41,215
that are ambitious enough
to date you for your money.
50
00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:43,083
You don't even know,
Roseanne.
51
00:02:43,152 --> 00:02:45,085
You've never had to date.
52
00:02:45,154 --> 00:02:46,087
Oh, please.
53
00:02:46,155 --> 00:02:47,088
Dating's just like hunting.
54
00:02:47,157 --> 00:02:49,257
You get lucky,
you go home earlier.
55
00:02:50,993 --> 00:02:52,426
I don't need a man.
56
00:02:52,494 --> 00:02:54,262
I am financially secure.
57
00:02:54,330 --> 00:02:57,431
I am emotionally...
58
00:02:57,499 --> 00:02:59,267
stable.
59
00:02:59,335 --> 00:03:01,803
I have my Andy,
I have my family.
60
00:03:01,872 --> 00:03:03,470
What about sex?
61
00:03:03,540 --> 00:03:05,941
I am so through with that.
62
00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:08,109
I am giving up
on the whole mess.
63
00:03:08,178 --> 00:03:09,277
I'm getting rid of
my short skirts
64
00:03:09,347 --> 00:03:11,680
and my heels and my makeup
and my tweezers,
65
00:03:11,748 --> 00:03:13,215
and, uh...
66
00:03:13,283 --> 00:03:15,951
I'm free.
I'm a free woman.
67
00:03:16,019 --> 00:03:17,452
I feel great!
68
00:03:22,692 --> 00:03:24,459
I'm going to go upstairs
and get my son
69
00:03:24,527 --> 00:03:28,397
and we're going to go home
and start our new life.
70
00:03:30,701 --> 00:03:31,968
You want to stay over?
71
00:03:32,036 --> 00:03:33,302
Yeah. Yeah.
72
00:03:41,213 --> 00:03:42,478
Some things don't change
73
00:03:42,546 --> 00:03:44,181
no matter how much
money you've got.
74
00:03:44,249 --> 00:03:49,652
Like, I don't consider
doing the ketchups work,
you see?
75
00:03:49,721 --> 00:03:51,721
It's more like
a challenge.
76
00:03:51,790 --> 00:03:53,156
No, it's work, Jackie.
77
00:03:53,225 --> 00:03:55,659
And I'm no longer
up to that challenge.
78
00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:10,841
Um, can you help me?
79
00:04:10,909 --> 00:04:13,677
I mean--
80
00:04:13,746 --> 00:04:14,845
I mean, can I--
81
00:04:14,913 --> 00:04:17,181
Can I--
Can you help--
82
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:19,683
I'm sorry.
83
00:04:19,752 --> 00:04:22,120
Is there something
that I could get for you?
84
00:04:22,189 --> 00:04:23,188
Um...
85
00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:26,857
Lunch.
86
00:04:26,926 --> 00:04:28,426
Yes, lunch.
87
00:04:28,495 --> 00:04:30,862
We have no real specials,
88
00:04:30,931 --> 00:04:33,531
but without getting
too personal,
89
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,201
could I recommend
the double loose meat combo?
90
00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:40,272
It comes with a drink,
so that's your best buy.
91
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,707
I don't know what that is,
92
00:04:42,776 --> 00:04:47,113
but I'll try it
if you say so, Jackie.
93
00:04:47,181 --> 00:04:49,515
How did you know my name?
94
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:52,885
I saw you on television
and I had to meet you.
95
00:04:52,954 --> 00:04:55,454
Oh, really?
96
00:04:55,523 --> 00:04:57,391
I'm Carlos Charmane.
97
00:04:57,459 --> 00:04:59,024
I'm from Moldavia.
98
00:04:59,093 --> 00:05:00,559
Oh, Moldavia.
99
00:05:00,627 --> 00:05:02,727
Oh, I've heard
of Moldavia.
100
00:05:02,796 --> 00:05:06,898
I watch the--
that Carmen Sandiego show.
101
00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,736
It's one of my
favorite shows as well.
102
00:05:10,804 --> 00:05:12,072
Oh, really?
103
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:14,807
Well, what do you do there
in Moldavia, Carlos?
104
00:05:14,876 --> 00:05:18,111
Actually, I'm a prince.
105
00:05:19,981 --> 00:05:22,517
A prince.
106
00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:25,084
The prince of Moldavia.
107
00:05:25,154 --> 00:05:29,257
The prince of Moldavia.
108
00:05:29,325 --> 00:05:32,260
Okay.
109
00:05:32,328 --> 00:05:35,928
I have a duke and duchess
waiting on their fries.
110
00:05:35,998 --> 00:05:39,200
And so I will be right back.
111
00:05:39,269 --> 00:05:40,200
Okay?
112
00:05:44,006 --> 00:05:47,941
Loser. Loser! Loser!
113
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:50,444
See, this guy
is looking really good,
114
00:05:50,514 --> 00:05:52,112
and then he goes
and tells me he's a prince.
115
00:05:52,181 --> 00:05:53,113
Can you believe that?
116
00:05:53,182 --> 00:05:54,616
Well, give him
a chance, Jackie.
117
00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:55,949
I mean, if he was
a big loser,
118
00:05:56,018 --> 00:05:58,720
he would have told you
he was the king.
119
00:05:58,788 --> 00:06:01,222
Roseanne where'd
you put the--
120
00:06:01,292 --> 00:06:03,458
Oh, my God.
121
00:06:03,527 --> 00:06:05,460
Prince Carlos.
122
00:06:05,529 --> 00:06:07,128
The only straight man
in the world
123
00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:08,963
that can get away
with wearing purple.
124
00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:11,632
What?
125
00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:12,967
Wait a minute!
126
00:06:13,036 --> 00:06:14,969
You're telling me
that guy is for real?
127
00:06:15,038 --> 00:06:17,973
Hello!
No, that's--
It's not...
128
00:06:18,041 --> 00:06:19,207
It's not possible.
129
00:06:19,276 --> 00:06:21,143
Look, trust me
to point out royalty,
130
00:06:21,212 --> 00:06:23,812
and I will trust you
to point out rodeo stars.
131
00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:28,151
He can't be a prince.
132
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:32,155
He has no scepter,
no entourage...
133
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:34,490
except for that
double-wide limousine
out there
134
00:06:34,559 --> 00:06:36,993
with the little flags
on the antennas.
135
00:06:37,062 --> 00:06:39,328
Oh, my God!
136
00:06:39,397 --> 00:06:41,665
My God, he's a prince!
137
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,799
And he came here
to see me.
138
00:06:43,869 --> 00:06:45,502
Oh, no.
What if you're supposed
to be a virgin?
139
00:06:50,909 --> 00:06:53,577
Oh, my God.
I forgot to give him
some water.
140
00:07:00,919 --> 00:07:02,019
Your water.
141
00:07:05,924 --> 00:07:07,858
No, no.
142
00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:11,195
Please, this always happens.
143
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,031
There's no easy way
to tell someone
you're a prince.
144
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:18,201
Ahem. Cough,
cough, cough.
145
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,371
This is my sister.
146
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,207
Roseanne Conner
of the Lanford Conners.
147
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,542
My pleasure.
148
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,012
And may I say that television
does neither of you justice.
149
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,380
Oh, that's so sweet,
150
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,851
even if you are
just blowing smoke.
151
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,153
That's Leon Carp.
152
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:39,558
Mr. Carp.
Hi.
153
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,060
My husband is not going
to believe this.
154
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,401
Jackie, at the risk
of seeming forward,
155
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:51,303
I would like to ask
for the pleasure of
your company at dinner.
156
00:07:51,372 --> 00:07:52,904
Oh, no,
that's not forward at all.
157
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,239
That is-- That's right.
158
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,742
Hell, what she said.
159
00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,279
I thought perhaps
we would go to one of my
favorite eating places.
160
00:08:00,348 --> 00:08:01,347
Oh, my God.
161
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:02,749
You have a favorite
eating place in Lanford?
162
00:08:02,818 --> 00:08:03,750
We don't.
163
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,587
No, I was thinking
of Manhattan.
164
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:10,590
Oh, Manhattan!
165
00:08:12,494 --> 00:08:14,560
The New York Manhattan?
166
00:08:14,629 --> 00:08:16,829
We'll take my plane
if that's all right with you.
167
00:08:16,898 --> 00:08:19,265
Oh, well,
I don't know, Carlos.
168
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:21,435
Well, what she means is
that she doesn't know you.
169
00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:24,103
So in the tradition
of royalty and the dating game,
170
00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:26,807
I should chaperone.
171
00:08:26,876 --> 00:08:28,776
Well, of course,
you're welcome to join us.
172
00:08:28,844 --> 00:08:29,943
I insist.
173
00:08:30,012 --> 00:08:31,945
And bring the rest
of your family as well.
174
00:08:32,014 --> 00:08:33,246
Whatever makes Jackie happy.
175
00:08:33,315 --> 00:08:34,782
Oh, I think
that makes her happy.
176
00:08:34,850 --> 00:08:37,284
Oh, I'm happy.
177
00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:39,119
And I'll get Darlene and David
178
00:08:39,188 --> 00:08:40,454
to watch little
Andy and Jerry
179
00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:42,523
and that will make me happy.
180
00:08:42,591 --> 00:08:44,125
Well, you guys have fun.
181
00:08:44,194 --> 00:08:46,493
I'll be home
sitting in the tub,
182
00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:49,163
listening to Mahler
and brooding.
183
00:08:49,232 --> 00:08:52,133
Hey, can our cousin
Leon come, too?
184
00:08:52,202 --> 00:08:53,768
Of course.
The more, the merrier.
185
00:08:53,836 --> 00:08:56,437
Oh, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
186
00:09:02,045 --> 00:09:05,046
Oh, boy!
187
00:09:05,114 --> 00:09:06,814
I'll make the arrangements.
188
00:09:06,883 --> 00:09:09,016
Until tomorrow.
189
00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:33,877
[glasses clinking]
190
00:09:33,945 --> 00:09:36,312
This is like right
out of a fairy tale.
191
00:09:36,381 --> 00:09:38,648
Even the commode
is exquisite.
192
00:09:38,717 --> 00:09:40,583
It has one
of those delightful,
193
00:09:40,652 --> 00:09:44,254
old world
spritzing devices.
194
00:09:45,357 --> 00:09:47,123
The only thing
we're missing is
195
00:09:47,192 --> 00:09:50,459
people riding in coach
to feel superior to.
196
00:09:51,764 --> 00:09:54,464
You know this pillow
is goose-down filled?
197
00:09:54,533 --> 00:09:57,366
I just want to bite it.
198
00:09:59,839 --> 00:10:01,639
So, what do you guys
want to do first
199
00:10:01,707 --> 00:10:02,840
when we
get to New York?
200
00:10:02,908 --> 00:10:04,474
Well, I don't know
about the rest of you,
201
00:10:04,543 --> 00:10:06,310
but me and Leon are going
down to The Village
202
00:10:06,379 --> 00:10:08,345
to get something pierced.
203
00:10:14,553 --> 00:10:16,988
Yeah, then we'll all head
over to Saturday Night Live
204
00:10:17,057 --> 00:10:20,090
and see if they've
figured out when
to end their skits yet.
205
00:10:24,631 --> 00:10:26,196
I want to go
to the Cotton Club,
206
00:10:26,265 --> 00:10:29,233
sing a hot jazz tune
with the boys in the band,
207
00:10:29,302 --> 00:10:31,636
be part of the Harlem
Renaissance.
208
00:10:31,704 --> 00:10:34,439
We'll drop you off.
209
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:35,874
[gasps]
210
00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:37,009
Oh my God.
211
00:10:37,077 --> 00:10:40,778
Oh my God, Carlos.
My God--
212
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,015
Oh, I'm--
213
00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:46,251
I will definitely get
this dry cleaned.
214
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,622
Oh, it is gorgeous,
thank you so much.
215
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:52,157
Well, New York gets rather
chilly this time of year.
216
00:10:52,226 --> 00:10:54,660
And it matches perfectly
with what I have on.
217
00:10:54,729 --> 00:10:56,695
I bought several of them.
218
00:10:56,764 --> 00:10:59,931
I picked that one out when
I saw what you were wearing.
219
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:00,799
They're all for you.
220
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:03,635
Oh, I don't know
what to say.
221
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:08,407
Carlos, I know that you
only saw me on television
for eight seconds,
222
00:11:08,476 --> 00:11:12,812
and I have been told that
I do make a very strong
first impression,
223
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,546
especially in a dress,
224
00:11:14,616 --> 00:11:18,050
but what exactly was it?
225
00:11:18,119 --> 00:11:20,253
You seemed so real.
226
00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:22,956
Your look, your smile.
227
00:11:23,025 --> 00:11:25,892
The way your hair
touches your eyelash.
228
00:11:25,961 --> 00:11:27,861
And your voice, when
I heard your voice,
229
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:31,765
I had to find you.
230
00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:35,402
I helped pick the numbers.
231
00:11:35,470 --> 00:11:38,739
You do a good me.
232
00:11:38,808 --> 00:11:43,243
Scoot it on over
there, prince.
233
00:11:43,312 --> 00:11:45,713
Wow, this is incredible.
234
00:11:45,782 --> 00:11:47,915
So, give me the
dirt on your family.
235
00:11:47,983 --> 00:11:51,820
What is it, adultery,
alcoholism, bleeders?
236
00:11:51,888 --> 00:11:53,387
Roseanne.
237
00:11:53,457 --> 00:11:55,723
Isn't she fun?
238
00:11:55,792 --> 00:11:57,892
Well, actually, if you
wouldn't find it too boring,
239
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,360
I have some home movies.
240
00:11:59,429 --> 00:12:02,196
Oh, great.
241
00:12:05,568 --> 00:12:07,535
Here's some
of the royal family.
242
00:12:07,604 --> 00:12:12,206
That's the queen mother.
243
00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:15,744
Oh, sweet.
244
00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:18,513
Well, now,
is she the queen,
245
00:12:18,582 --> 00:12:20,615
or the mother
of the queen?
246
00:12:20,684 --> 00:12:23,218
We've been trying to figure
that out for centuries.
247
00:12:23,287 --> 00:12:26,989
We just sort of let
them both sit there.
248
00:12:27,058 --> 00:12:32,228
Here's the coronation of my
father, King Carlos the ninth.
249
00:12:32,296 --> 00:12:33,562
He was a great king.
250
00:12:33,631 --> 00:12:34,730
He died
a few years ago.
251
00:12:34,799 --> 00:12:35,964
Oh, I'm so sorry.
252
00:12:36,033 --> 00:12:37,332
Was he beheaded?
253
00:12:40,706 --> 00:12:43,472
Well, now,
if the king died,
254
00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:46,141
why aren't
you the king?
255
00:12:46,210 --> 00:12:49,579
In my country, the queen
rules after the king's death.
256
00:12:49,648 --> 00:12:53,982
Viva, Moldavia!
257
00:12:54,052 --> 00:12:56,185
Here is my aunt,
Princess Marguerite.
258
00:12:56,254 --> 00:12:58,487
She has a great personality,
259
00:12:58,556 --> 00:13:00,157
makes all of her
own clothes,
260
00:13:00,225 --> 00:13:01,925
and just loves horses.
261
00:13:01,994 --> 00:13:07,097
Well, she's not
exactly postage stamp
material, now is she?
262
00:13:08,768 --> 00:13:11,034
Look at the parade.
263
00:13:11,103 --> 00:13:14,170
So, is this some
big national holiday?
264
00:13:14,239 --> 00:13:18,876
No, that's when I got
an A on my report card.
265
00:13:18,944 --> 00:13:24,581
Oh, here's the wedding of my
brother to Princess Burgeson.
266
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:25,649
We call her Burgy.
267
00:13:27,887 --> 00:13:29,486
It was a beautiful affair.
268
00:13:29,555 --> 00:13:33,891
We had Sir George Shulty
conducting the national
orchestra.
269
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,497
Dan and I had the
Belinda Zelinsky Five.
270
00:13:38,566 --> 00:13:40,164
[Captain] We are approaching the airport.
271
00:13:40,232 --> 00:13:41,867
Everyone please return to your seats
272
00:13:41,936 --> 00:13:43,869
and fasten your seat belts.
273
00:13:43,937 --> 00:13:46,971
Look, Jackie,
274
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,207
New York City is lit
up just for you.
275
00:13:49,276 --> 00:13:50,775
You know what?
276
00:13:50,844 --> 00:13:53,879
I'm so happy,
I almost believe that.
277
00:13:53,947 --> 00:13:57,784
I say we buzz
the Statue of Liberty!
278
00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:13,299
God, this
is so beautiful.
279
00:14:13,368 --> 00:14:15,735
I just can't believe it.
280
00:14:15,803 --> 00:14:16,802
How much did this cost?
281
00:14:16,871 --> 00:14:18,671
Don't answer her.
282
00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:20,306
I don't mind.
283
00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:21,740
Seven norums.
284
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,446
You guys,
the Empire State Building.
285
00:14:27,515 --> 00:14:30,416
Whoa, I read that
if you drop a marshmallow
off the top,
286
00:14:30,486 --> 00:14:32,453
it could kill somebody.
287
00:14:32,521 --> 00:14:35,789
Man, what
a brutal way to go.
288
00:14:35,858 --> 00:14:37,490
Excuse me, sweetheart?
289
00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:40,961
I'm with the prince,
I'd like a gin and tonic.
290
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:44,664
They're playing our song.
291
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:47,034
Oh, we have a song.
292
00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:50,938
Shall we dance?
293
00:14:51,007 --> 00:14:53,240
Thank you.
294
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,210
Thank heaven, I've been
dying to tell you
295
00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:58,680
what I heard
in the powder room.
296
00:14:58,748 --> 00:15:00,948
Well, I hope it wasn't,
"Hey, lady,
297
00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:03,050
"you're in the
men's room" again.
298
00:15:03,118 --> 00:15:06,086
No, I heard that
a certain prince
299
00:15:06,154 --> 00:15:09,058
has a questionable
reputation.
300
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,558
He's been linked
with everyone
301
00:15:10,627 --> 00:15:14,829
from Princess Stephanie
to Markie Post.
302
00:15:14,899 --> 00:15:15,898
Well, so what?
303
00:15:15,967 --> 00:15:17,867
Jackie's been linked
with everyone
304
00:15:17,935 --> 00:15:20,836
from the meter man
to that photographer
just passing through town,
305
00:15:20,905 --> 00:15:21,803
what's the difference?
306
00:15:21,873 --> 00:15:23,672
Roseanne?
307
00:15:23,741 --> 00:15:25,507
I know I'm
about to violate
308
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:28,944
the entire foundation of our
six-year relationship, but--
309
00:15:29,013 --> 00:15:30,680
Dance with me?
310
00:15:30,748 --> 00:15:34,983
Oh, Leon, I hoped
you'd never ask.
311
00:15:35,052 --> 00:15:37,053
Come on, Roseanne,
if you have a good time,
312
00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:39,055
you can blame it
on the champagne.
313
00:15:39,123 --> 00:15:40,089
Fine, I'll do it.
314
00:15:40,157 --> 00:15:41,356
Just keep moving your feet
315
00:15:41,425 --> 00:15:43,860
and don't look at me.
316
00:15:43,929 --> 00:15:46,062
Prince is just
a regular guy,
317
00:15:46,131 --> 00:15:47,264
kind of needy,
318
00:15:47,332 --> 00:15:48,297
he leans on me a lot.
319
00:15:48,366 --> 00:15:50,934
Oh, D.J.,
320
00:15:51,002 --> 00:15:54,738
how about dancing with your
poor, lonesome, old grandma?
321
00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:57,474
Nice timing, grandma.
322
00:15:57,543 --> 00:16:00,811
Now listen, if an interested
gentleman should cut in,
323
00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:05,582
you just cha cha cha
away, all right?
324
00:16:05,651 --> 00:16:08,886
You know, one fun thing
about being a prince?
325
00:16:08,955 --> 00:16:10,988
If I start
to dance faster,
326
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,924
the band will
keep up with me.
327
00:16:12,992 --> 00:16:14,591
Oh, really?
328
00:16:14,661 --> 00:16:16,093
Watch.
329
00:16:16,161 --> 00:16:18,562
♪♪ [tango]
330
00:16:20,132 --> 00:16:21,799
Now's my chance.
331
00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:31,875
Oh, Roseanne,
I don't know what it is,
332
00:16:31,945 --> 00:16:34,012
I can't explain
the feeling,
333
00:16:34,081 --> 00:16:35,948
but, I think I'm in love.
334
00:16:36,016 --> 00:16:38,183
[gasps]
335
00:16:38,252 --> 00:16:40,018
Kill me.
336
00:16:46,927 --> 00:16:48,226
New York,
337
00:16:48,295 --> 00:16:50,327
just like I pictured it.
338
00:16:50,397 --> 00:16:52,797
Skyscrapers and everything.
339
00:16:52,866 --> 00:16:53,965
Hey!
340
00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:55,634
Who do you like
in that fight
341
00:16:55,702 --> 00:16:58,337
between the cabbie and the
screaming transvestite?
342
00:16:58,406 --> 00:17:00,238
Man, Central Park
is awesome.
343
00:17:00,307 --> 00:17:02,342
You know, now that
we have the money,
344
00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:03,808
we should build
a house here.
345
00:17:03,878 --> 00:17:06,245
Oh yeah, what the New York City
skyline really needs
346
00:17:06,314 --> 00:17:11,050
is an aluminum-sided
tract home
with a satellite dish.
347
00:17:11,118 --> 00:17:12,350
Don't wave back,
348
00:17:12,419 --> 00:17:16,188
this town is full of grifters
and confidence men.
349
00:17:16,257 --> 00:17:19,024
[whistling]
350
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:30,870
Well, if that wasn't
just about the coolest
thing I've ever seen.
351
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,839
Your carriage, my lady.
352
00:17:32,908 --> 00:17:34,507
Thank you, my sir.
353
00:17:34,576 --> 00:17:35,409
Shotgun!
354
00:17:35,478 --> 00:17:36,676
Wait, I got shotgun.
355
00:17:36,745 --> 00:17:38,745
I want to sit in the middle
like Audrey Hepburn
356
00:17:38,814 --> 00:17:39,779
in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
357
00:17:39,848 --> 00:17:40,747
You know, oddly enough,
358
00:17:40,816 --> 00:17:43,683
this smells better
than a regular cab.
359
00:17:43,752 --> 00:17:45,252
D.J., get in the back!
360
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,322
I want to sit in the front
so I can do tricks
with the whip.
361
00:17:48,391 --> 00:17:51,859
Roseanne, may I have
a word with you?
362
00:17:51,927 --> 00:17:53,927
Yes, of course, Carlos,
363
00:17:53,996 --> 00:17:55,963
but, I mean, it was
only an ashtray
364
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,699
and there was a million
of them laying around.
365
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,709
Roseanne, I think you
know the great affection
366
00:18:07,778 --> 00:18:09,711
I have for you and
your entire family.
367
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:13,648
Oh, well, we think you
are one hell of a prince.
368
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:14,816
It's just that,
369
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:17,018
I wanted to ride
alone with Jackie.
370
00:18:17,087 --> 00:18:20,255
She really likes you.
371
00:18:20,324 --> 00:18:22,057
And I really like her.
372
00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:25,426
Well, how are we supposed
to know for sure
373
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:28,197
that this isn't just another
one of your royal flings?
374
00:18:28,266 --> 00:18:32,234
Roseanne, if all
I wanted was to have
a fling with your sister,
375
00:18:32,302 --> 00:18:35,704
do you think I would have
invited your entire family?
376
00:18:35,773 --> 00:18:37,172
[bell clanging]
377
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,575
[Bev]
♪ Clang clang clang
went the trolley ♪
378
00:18:39,644 --> 00:18:42,178
♪ Ring ring ring
with the bell ♪
379
00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:48,284
Well, you do have
a point there, Carlos.
380
00:18:48,352 --> 00:18:49,785
But I'll tell
you what,
381
00:18:49,853 --> 00:18:51,787
I don't care if you're
a prince or whatever you are,
382
00:18:51,855 --> 00:18:53,455
as long as you are
decent to my sister.
383
00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:54,957
because she's
the only one I've got,
384
00:18:55,026 --> 00:18:57,160
and she's been
through enough.
385
00:18:57,229 --> 00:18:58,695
You have my word.
386
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,931
My royal word.
387
00:19:00,999 --> 00:19:04,234
Everybody out of the cab.
388
00:19:04,302 --> 00:19:08,271
This one's for Jackie
and Carlos.
389
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:11,975
[all muttering]
390
00:19:12,044 --> 00:19:13,910
That's not fair.
391
00:19:13,979 --> 00:19:15,478
Come on, Mother.
392
00:19:15,547 --> 00:19:16,446
Shall we?
393
00:19:16,515 --> 00:19:18,482
Let's shall.
394
00:19:18,551 --> 00:19:20,617
You know, Carlos,
395
00:19:20,686 --> 00:19:23,654
these kind of perfect days
don't usually happen to me,
396
00:19:23,722 --> 00:19:27,091
or any kind of perfect day
as a matter of fact.
397
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:31,062
Jackie, words can't express
the affect you've had on me.
398
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,565
I feel as though
I've known you
my entire life.
399
00:19:40,974 --> 00:19:43,241
God, I love this town!
400
00:19:54,046 --> 00:19:56,809
[applause]
Thank you, thank you.
401
00:19:57,311 --> 00:20:02,562
Thank you, it's great to be
back home in the Cotton Club.
402
00:20:05,811 --> 00:20:10,809
This next number is for all of
you who have lived the blues,
403
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:12,756
like I have.
404
00:20:14,754 --> 00:20:20,164
Johnny, give me a D-minor
and lay it down slow.
405
00:20:20,169 --> 00:20:21,264
[piano playing]
406
00:20:21,264 --> 00:20:23,259
MALE SPEAKER: Sing it, mama!
Sing it to me!
407
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,266
Whew, damn!
408
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:34,797
♪ I don't know why
but I'm feeling so sad ♪
409
00:20:35,024 --> 00:20:39,081
[applause]
♪ I long to try something ♪
410
00:20:39,086 --> 00:20:45,036
♪ I never had,
never had no kissing ♪
411
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:49,282
♪ Oh, what I've been missing ♪
412
00:20:50,344 --> 00:20:54,943
♪ Lover man oh where can you be ♪
413
00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:57,454
Yes! [cheering]
414
00:20:57,794 --> 00:21:04,942
♪ I heard it said
that the thrill of romance ♪
415
00:21:04,947 --> 00:21:11,458
♪ can be like a heavenly dream ♪
416
00:21:12,861 --> 00:21:21,470
♪ I go to bed with a prayer
that you'll make love to me ♪
417
00:21:22,718 --> 00:21:27,470
♪ Strange as it seems ♪
418
00:21:27,967 --> 00:21:30,468
[music playing]
419
00:21:41,128 --> 00:21:44,062
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA
33582
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