Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,209 --> 00:00:11,508
Ahh!
2
00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:13,810
Another near-beer, Dan?
Thank you, barkeep.
3
00:00:13,812 --> 00:00:17,848
And put a big head on it
so I can pretend to enjoy it.
4
00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:20,316
So, did you buy anything
with all that cash you won?
5
00:00:20,318 --> 00:00:21,883
Not really.
6
00:00:21,885 --> 00:00:24,353
Truth is, I'm still trying
to figure the whole thing out.
7
00:00:24,355 --> 00:00:26,689
You know, a month ago,
I'm laying in a hospital bed,
8
00:00:26,691 --> 00:00:28,857
not knowing whether
I'm going to live or die,
9
00:00:28,859 --> 00:00:30,592
and now here I am
in good health,
10
00:00:30,594 --> 00:00:33,161
a big-time lottery winner.
11
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,296
What do you think it is?
12
00:00:34,298 --> 00:00:38,867
Is it God or fate
or...chance?
13
00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:40,902
What was
the first one again?
14
00:00:42,471 --> 00:00:46,173
Club soda,
in a glass,
no lipstick.
15
00:00:48,277 --> 00:00:49,676
Hi, Dan.
Leon.
16
00:00:49,678 --> 00:00:53,246
Hey, Leon, you're a guy
that thinks sometimes.
17
00:00:55,449 --> 00:00:57,517
You think there's a reason
that we're all here?
18
00:00:57,519 --> 00:01:00,853
Well, I'm here because
I ran out of gas.
19
00:01:00,855 --> 00:01:04,390
And when the tow truck
gets here, I'll have
my reason to leave.
20
00:01:04,392 --> 00:01:07,093
No, seriously, I'm talking
big-picture stuff here.
21
00:01:07,095 --> 00:01:09,295
Eh, forget it.
No, no, no,
no, no.
22
00:01:09,297 --> 00:01:11,730
I'm just not used
to sharing my feelings
23
00:01:11,732 --> 00:01:12,998
in a place
where the restrooms
24
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,700
are labeled "pointers"
and "setters."
25
00:01:17,171 --> 00:01:19,237
Hmm, my opinion.
26
00:01:19,239 --> 00:01:21,306
Yes, I think there's
a reason we're all here.
27
00:01:21,308 --> 00:01:22,773
Really?
Yeah, that's right.
28
00:01:22,775 --> 00:01:24,976
Cynical old Leon
still thinks
29
00:01:24,978 --> 00:01:27,644
that people here
all serve a purpose
30
00:01:27,646 --> 00:01:29,446
on this big,
spinning ball of dirt.
31
00:01:29,448 --> 00:01:31,282
Hey, I have
to believe that.
32
00:01:31,284 --> 00:01:33,283
Otherwise, it's just too hard
to get up in the morning
33
00:01:33,285 --> 00:01:36,019
and face the horrors
of the hetero world.
34
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:44,428
Well, I guess that makes
some kind of...weird sense.
35
00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:47,964
The hard part is figuring out
what we're put here to do.
36
00:01:47,966 --> 00:01:51,100
Oh, well, I think
you've done your part, Dan.
37
00:01:51,102 --> 00:01:53,768
You married Roseanne...
38
00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:56,905
and saved some
other poor soul
39
00:01:56,907 --> 00:01:58,807
hell on Earth.
40
00:01:58,809 --> 00:02:00,608
Well, thanks, I guess.
Yeah.
41
00:02:00,610 --> 00:02:02,409
Coming to
the poker game later?
Oh, you betcha.
42
00:02:02,411 --> 00:02:05,246
[honk honk]
Well, there's
my auto club guy.
43
00:02:05,248 --> 00:02:07,414
In a tank top.
44
00:02:12,221 --> 00:02:16,890
♪ If what doesn't kill us is makin' us stronger ♪
45
00:02:16,892 --> 00:02:19,059
♪ We're gonna last longer ♪
46
00:02:19,061 --> 00:02:21,894
♪ Than the greatest wall in China ♪
47
00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:25,064
♪ Or that rabbit with a drum ♪
48
00:02:25,066 --> 00:02:29,235
♪ If there's one thing that I've learned ♪
49
00:02:29,237 --> 00:02:31,403
♪ While waiting for my turn ♪
50
00:02:31,405 --> 00:02:34,406
♪ It's that in each life some rain falls ♪
51
00:02:34,408 --> 00:02:37,576
♪ But you also get some sun ♪
52
00:02:37,578 --> 00:02:41,580
♪ And we'll make out better than okay ♪
53
00:02:41,582 --> 00:02:44,415
♪ Hear what I say ♪
54
00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:49,019
♪ Yeah, any day ♪
55
00:02:54,426 --> 00:02:55,926
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
56
00:03:02,868 --> 00:03:04,901
Okay, I've got it
narrowed down to
57
00:03:04,903 --> 00:03:06,135
The Golden Chamber
58
00:03:06,137 --> 00:03:08,470
or the Elysian Fields
Health Spa.
59
00:03:08,472 --> 00:03:11,240
So you make
the final decision.
60
00:03:11,242 --> 00:03:13,742
No, I'm not going to pick
because then you'll be mad
61
00:03:13,744 --> 00:03:16,179
that I didn't pick the one
that I didn't pick.
You pick.
62
00:03:16,181 --> 00:03:19,582
No, I'm not going to pick.
I'm not a picker.
63
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,220
You know this wishy-washy
thing that you've got going?
64
00:03:25,222 --> 00:03:27,023
It's not working
for you anymore.
65
00:03:27,025 --> 00:03:29,258
You know what,
you're right.
66
00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:30,558
You are absolutely right.
67
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,626
That's done.
That is--
68
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,061
I-- I'm--
We're--
69
00:03:33,063 --> 00:03:34,762
We're going to that one.
70
00:03:34,764 --> 00:03:36,464
End of story.
71
00:03:40,869 --> 00:03:44,672
See, now I think that
this decisive thing
really works well on you
72
00:03:44,674 --> 00:03:46,974
and you should've done it
a long time ago.
73
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,809
Roseanne,
you wouldn't let me.
74
00:03:51,446 --> 00:03:53,946
Well, all that is about
to change, Jackie,
75
00:03:53,948 --> 00:03:57,182
because I no longer
have the time or the energy
76
00:03:57,184 --> 00:03:59,885
to be living
everybody else's
life for them.
77
00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:03,788
There is a me underneath me,
and she has been smothered
78
00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:07,459
by grease, grit, and crap
for way too long.
79
00:04:07,461 --> 00:04:09,026
Now, this whole
spa experience
80
00:04:09,028 --> 00:04:13,397
is going to unlock
my divine female essence.
81
00:04:13,399 --> 00:04:17,903
But unlocking essences,
they charge extra for that.
82
00:04:19,571 --> 00:04:24,741
I am going to get
my pores shrunk down
to nothing, Jackie.
83
00:04:24,743 --> 00:04:26,743
I'm going to get pounded
and beaten to a pulp
84
00:04:26,745 --> 00:04:30,646
by some hideous
old Korean masseuse.
85
00:04:30,648 --> 00:04:34,218
I'm going to get
my chakras open,
my kundalini awakened,
86
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:36,252
I'm going to do
japa on my mala,
87
00:04:36,254 --> 00:04:39,789
then I'm going to find
my channels, meridians,
and my G spots,
88
00:04:39,791 --> 00:04:42,625
and after that,
look here,
89
00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:44,960
I'm getting one of them
colonic irrigations
90
00:04:44,962 --> 00:04:47,896
because you can lose
about 60 pounds per time.
91
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:54,268
Well, I am going to get
waxed and wrapped
92
00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:56,437
and buffed and filed
93
00:04:56,439 --> 00:05:00,274
and soaked and steamed
and purged and peeled
94
00:05:00,276 --> 00:05:03,411
till there is not
one original cell
left in my body,
95
00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:07,547
and then I am going
to go out and find a guy
96
00:05:07,549 --> 00:05:10,850
with pecks to knock on.
97
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,653
And I'm going
to start knocking!
98
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:19,259
We're definitely not
sharing a room.
99
00:05:21,162 --> 00:05:23,462
Hey, Dan, we finally
picked the spa.
100
00:05:23,464 --> 00:05:26,232
Now, are you going
to be okay at this place
101
00:05:26,234 --> 00:05:28,868
where you have to get naked
and covered in mud
102
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,504
with about
400 other people?
103
00:05:31,506 --> 00:05:33,472
Yeah, sounds okay to me.
104
00:05:34,908 --> 00:05:36,241
Are you okay?
105
00:05:36,243 --> 00:05:37,876
Yeah, sure.
106
00:05:43,817 --> 00:05:46,284
Have you guys ever wondered
why we all exist?
107
00:05:46,286 --> 00:05:49,888
Well, I think because
we're here to, uh,
108
00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:51,389
evolve into the people
109
00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:54,157
that were destined
to turn into.
110
00:05:54,159 --> 00:05:57,394
Yeah, that's what the guy
at the gas station said.
111
00:05:59,964 --> 00:06:01,898
I'm just driving
myself crazy.
112
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,433
I guess I'll go
tinker in the garage.
113
00:06:08,406 --> 00:06:10,473
Going out
to tinker again, huh?
114
00:06:10,475 --> 00:06:11,473
What's that mean?
115
00:06:11,475 --> 00:06:13,142
Another macaroni
ashtray.
116
00:06:20,918 --> 00:06:22,250
Hey, Deej. It's me.
117
00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:27,022
What did I do?
118
00:06:27,024 --> 00:06:28,891
I was just in
the neighborhood.
I thought I'd drop in.
119
00:06:28,893 --> 00:06:30,425
Mm-hmm.
120
00:06:30,427 --> 00:06:32,427
Why?
121
00:06:32,429 --> 00:06:33,661
Nothing.
Just to hang.
122
00:06:35,332 --> 00:06:36,898
Come on in.
123
00:06:40,903 --> 00:06:41,869
Wow.
124
00:06:43,405 --> 00:06:45,672
So Spielberg's
your man, huh?
Yeah.
125
00:06:45,674 --> 00:06:47,474
I'm gonna work
for him someday.
126
00:06:47,476 --> 00:06:49,275
Learn everything
I can from him.
127
00:06:49,277 --> 00:06:51,645
Then become this
huge movie director,
and crush him.
128
00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,482
You are your mother's son.
129
00:06:58,086 --> 00:07:00,319
Where'd you get these?
130
00:07:00,321 --> 00:07:02,353
Uh...friends.
131
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:03,955
I just sort of
found the rest.
132
00:07:05,894 --> 00:07:07,492
You found 'em?
133
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,960
Yeah! You know
how you're...
134
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,128
walking through the city,
135
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,130
and you're not really
looking for anything,
136
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,800
and all of a sudden
you look down,
and there's a sign?
137
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,072
Yeah, I used to find mine
138
00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,141
on the tops of poles
at the end of the street.
139
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:27,210
What, you did
this stuff, too?
140
00:07:27,212 --> 00:07:31,080
Oh, yeah. It was
what you call your
regular "wild youth".
141
00:07:31,082 --> 00:07:32,783
I remember one time,
me and some buddies of mine
142
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,250
broke into a junkyard.
143
00:07:34,252 --> 00:07:36,019
We got chased
by this big Doberman.
144
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:37,487
Oh, man.
Did you get bit?
145
00:07:37,489 --> 00:07:38,688
Nah, Deej.
146
00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:40,256
See, the trick is...
147
00:07:40,258 --> 00:07:41,958
you don't have to be
faster than the dog.
148
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,826
You just gotta be faster
than one of your friends.
149
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:53,034
So did you get
in big trouble
with your parents?
150
00:07:53,036 --> 00:07:55,437
Nah. I could always
get away with stuff.
151
00:07:55,439 --> 00:07:57,038
My dad wasn't around much,
152
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,339
and my mom...well...
153
00:07:59,341 --> 00:08:02,076
Yeah, I know
about Grandma.
Mm-hmm.
154
00:08:04,746 --> 00:08:06,212
Well, I guess I should go.
155
00:08:11,519 --> 00:08:12,618
You okay?
156
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:14,887
Yeah, I'm fine.
Just moving a little slow.
157
00:08:16,425 --> 00:08:17,591
[deep sigh]
158
00:08:17,593 --> 00:08:20,327
Well, you look kind of...
159
00:08:20,329 --> 00:08:21,561
out-of-it.
160
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:23,529
Nah. I'm just thinking.
161
00:08:23,531 --> 00:08:27,099
Thinking and out-of-it
look a lot alike.
162
00:08:27,101 --> 00:08:28,733
You know, I'm not
a kid any more, Dad.
163
00:08:28,735 --> 00:08:30,035
We can talk about stuff.
164
00:08:30,037 --> 00:08:33,171
That's right. You're not
a kid any more, are ya?
165
00:08:33,173 --> 00:08:36,007
You're dating. Next year,
you're gonna be driving.
166
00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:37,809
Why, you're
almost a man.
167
00:08:39,612 --> 00:08:41,045
I'm not shaving yet.
168
00:08:41,047 --> 00:08:42,546
Ah, it's a hassle,
anyway.
169
00:08:43,716 --> 00:08:45,616
You know, you're getting
to the age, Deej,
170
00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:47,685
where a lot of kids...
171
00:08:47,687 --> 00:08:49,219
stop getting along
with their parents.
172
00:08:49,221 --> 00:08:50,921
I hope that doesn't
happen to us.
173
00:08:50,923 --> 00:08:52,623
Yeah. Hope you don't get
all weird on me,
174
00:08:52,625 --> 00:08:54,124
like some kids' parents.
Hmm.
175
00:09:00,031 --> 00:09:01,431
How am I doing
so far?
176
00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:05,034
Mm...I'd say you have
like a 3.7 average.
177
00:09:06,638 --> 00:09:08,571
Hell, that's way better
than I did in high school.
178
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,210
Deej.
179
00:09:15,212 --> 00:09:16,377
I enjoyed this.
180
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,650
Sure. Stop by
anytime.
181
00:09:24,254 --> 00:09:28,088
Yeah. Your mom won't let me
put up cool stuff in my room.
182
00:09:34,396 --> 00:09:35,929
All right.
I'll see that.
All rightee.
183
00:09:37,966 --> 00:09:40,300
Read 'em and weep,
gentlemen. Full house.
184
00:09:40,302 --> 00:09:42,703
Oh, man.
I was this close!
185
00:09:42,705 --> 00:09:45,138
Yeah! If you'd have
picked up three more queens,
186
00:09:45,140 --> 00:09:46,805
you might have won
that hand!
187
00:09:48,276 --> 00:09:49,609
So, David.
188
00:09:49,611 --> 00:09:52,177
Darlene let you out
to play tonight, huh?
189
00:09:52,179 --> 00:09:53,446
Uh...uh, actually,
190
00:09:53,448 --> 00:09:55,648
she sort of
insisted on it.
191
00:09:57,251 --> 00:09:58,550
Since she's been pregnant,
192
00:09:58,552 --> 00:10:01,853
she says I've been
kind of hovering over her.
193
00:10:01,855 --> 00:10:04,356
You know, David,
it's kind of
a poker tradition
194
00:10:04,358 --> 00:10:07,191
that the guys complain
about their wives.
195
00:10:08,828 --> 00:10:10,595
Well, I'd rather not.
196
00:10:10,597 --> 00:10:12,129
[mass grumbling]
197
00:10:12,131 --> 00:10:14,465
Me-ow!
198
00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:15,766
All right.
199
00:10:15,768 --> 00:10:17,033
No. All right. Fine.
200
00:10:18,970 --> 00:10:20,236
Sometimes...
201
00:10:22,107 --> 00:10:25,175
sometimes, Darlene...
202
00:10:25,177 --> 00:10:27,110
won't let me do
all the things
203
00:10:27,112 --> 00:10:29,279
I wanna do for her,
and-- and it just--
204
00:10:29,281 --> 00:10:32,281
it makes me...
so mad!
205
00:10:36,855 --> 00:10:38,487
Damn mad!
206
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:42,857
This, boys,
is the pathetic result
207
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:45,528
of the women's
liberation movement.
208
00:10:45,530 --> 00:10:48,062
Well, Dan. It's good
to see you've pulled
out of that funk.
209
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,463
You know, after we
talked at the Lobo,
210
00:10:49,465 --> 00:10:51,066
I was actually a little
worried about you.
211
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,700
Ah, I was just
a little off this morning.
212
00:10:52,702 --> 00:10:54,135
I got up on Rosie's
side of the bed.
213
00:10:56,505 --> 00:10:58,039
You were in a funk,
Mr. Conner?
214
00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:01,508
Oh, yeah. He was asking me
for the reason we're all here.
215
00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:02,476
Where?
216
00:11:07,516 --> 00:11:09,282
You were getting
philosophical?
217
00:11:09,284 --> 00:11:10,750
That doesn't
sound like you, Dan.
218
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:13,653
Yeah, well--
Hey, you know what I do
when I'm in a funk?
219
00:11:13,655 --> 00:11:15,354
I lay on top
of the trailer,
220
00:11:15,356 --> 00:11:17,522
and count the stars.
221
00:11:17,524 --> 00:11:18,958
There's like
a hundred of 'em.
222
00:11:22,363 --> 00:11:26,430
David, you always look
like you're in a funk.
223
00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:27,932
No, I don't.
224
00:11:30,436 --> 00:11:31,402
Really?
225
00:11:32,539 --> 00:11:34,838
Are we here to play
cards, or what?
226
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,139
All right.
Five card draw.
227
00:11:36,141 --> 00:11:38,141
Trips to win.
Suicide kings wild.
228
00:11:38,143 --> 00:11:39,977
Sounds good.
All right.
229
00:11:39,979 --> 00:11:42,980
Hey, after the game tonight,
any of you guys wanna go
shoot some pool?
230
00:11:42,982 --> 00:11:45,048
Nah. The wife's
gonna wait up for me.
231
00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:47,217
I don't know
what's gotten into her
since she's hit 40,
232
00:11:47,219 --> 00:11:50,588
but I ain't complaining.
Whoa!
233
00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:52,022
Oh, I know what you mean.
234
00:11:52,024 --> 00:11:53,657
When Scott turned
the big 4-0...
235
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,260
I tell ya.
236
00:11:57,262 --> 00:11:58,894
It was like somebody
set off a bomb
237
00:11:58,896 --> 00:12:00,530
at the testosterone
factory.
238
00:12:09,072 --> 00:12:12,073
[whistling]
I lost count.
How many...
239
00:12:12,075 --> 00:12:13,075
How many cards
you got?
240
00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:15,377
Think we all have
about 11.
241
00:12:17,915 --> 00:12:20,148
Somebody else deal.
I gotta go see about
something.
242
00:12:20,150 --> 00:12:21,850
Hey, you won all the money!
243
00:12:21,852 --> 00:12:23,284
You just can't
walk away, Dan.
244
00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:25,353
Gonna let Mark
play my hand.
245
00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:28,020
Ooh!
Take your time.
246
00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:31,725
Deal me out, guys.
247
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,695
David.
248
00:12:34,697 --> 00:12:36,462
What are you doing?
249
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,463
Shuffling.
250
00:12:46,742 --> 00:12:47,907
Hey, what's
going on, man?
251
00:12:47,909 --> 00:12:49,075
Oh.
252
00:12:49,077 --> 00:12:52,244
Ah, nothing. I just come out
to get some fresh air.
253
00:12:52,246 --> 00:12:53,311
Yeah.
254
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,815
Umm...
255
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,182
Hey, Dan.
You know, uh...
256
00:12:58,184 --> 00:13:00,119
hadn't thanked you
enough, you know,
257
00:13:00,121 --> 00:13:01,385
for the money
and all.
258
00:13:01,387 --> 00:13:03,354
Oh, man. That's okay.
I mean, you know...
259
00:13:03,356 --> 00:13:05,322
every room need
painting, anyway.
260
00:13:05,324 --> 00:13:07,025
You do a bad job,
I know where you live.
261
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:12,797
What's on your
mind, Dan?
262
00:13:12,799 --> 00:13:14,899
I don't know.
It's--
263
00:13:14,901 --> 00:13:17,768
Lately, I've been having
all these questions about...
264
00:13:17,770 --> 00:13:20,470
life, and...
265
00:13:20,472 --> 00:13:22,806
stuff I've done, and...
266
00:13:22,808 --> 00:13:24,874
ah, man, you're gonna
think I'm nuts.
267
00:13:24,876 --> 00:13:27,811
Not any more
than I did before!
268
00:13:31,349 --> 00:13:34,082
I think you need
to lighten up, Dan.
269
00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:38,019
I mean, you're--
270
00:13:38,021 --> 00:13:38,954
you're a good guy.
271
00:13:41,058 --> 00:13:44,126
And all the time,
not since you came
into all this money!
272
00:13:44,128 --> 00:13:45,627
So you got nothing
to worry about.
273
00:13:45,629 --> 00:13:48,161
Yeah. Look, I'm...
274
00:13:48,163 --> 00:13:50,031
just gonna hang out
here for a while, okay?
275
00:13:52,001 --> 00:13:53,333
Yeah, okay.
276
00:14:06,114 --> 00:14:08,247
Come to mama, girls.
277
00:14:08,249 --> 00:14:09,649
[poker chips rattle]
278
00:14:09,651 --> 00:14:11,583
Damn it!
I had an ace that time!
279
00:14:16,624 --> 00:14:18,256
Where's Dan?
280
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,658
Um...
Hey, Rosie.
Dan's on the front porch.
281
00:14:23,464 --> 00:14:25,430
Okay, gentlemen.
What's your pleasure?
282
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,933
Seven Stud? Hold 'Em?
Five card draw?
283
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,367
How about five card stud,
284
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,301
but each player gets
as many cards as he wants?
285
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,939
All rightee.
I'll take 52.
286
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:45,348
The aliens aren't
gonna take you
287
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,717
if you act too eager.
288
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:53,055
I just had to take a break,
to clear my head.
289
00:14:53,057 --> 00:14:54,258
Really?
290
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,525
I would've thought
that sitting there
291
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:56,693
with them, for an hour,
292
00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:58,194
would've sucked
everything right
out of it.
293
00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:04,666
I'm gonna take a walk
for a while, okay?
294
00:15:21,751 --> 00:15:23,917
Why do we have to have
wheat grass now?
295
00:15:23,919 --> 00:15:25,585
Because it's
a thing to do,
296
00:15:25,587 --> 00:15:28,288
and we are now the people
who do the things to do,
297
00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:31,258
whether we want to
do them or not.
298
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:33,860
But why can't we just wait
till we go to the spa?
299
00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:36,863
No! I'm not gonna chance
some allergic reaction,
300
00:15:36,865 --> 00:15:38,597
and blow up to four times
my normal size
301
00:15:38,599 --> 00:15:40,934
in front of those people!
302
00:15:40,936 --> 00:15:42,468
Just drink it!
All right!
303
00:15:42,470 --> 00:15:45,237
But you don't get any
lime, or salt, or anything?
304
00:15:45,239 --> 00:15:47,940
Listen. In Vanity Fair,
they said
305
00:15:47,942 --> 00:15:50,441
that this is the stuff
that that Demi Moore drank
306
00:15:50,443 --> 00:15:52,878
to get her figure back
after she had all them kids.
307
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,246
Really.
[clinking glasses]
308
00:15:56,983 --> 00:15:59,351
God!
Oh, Lord!
309
00:15:59,353 --> 00:16:00,785
God!
Oh, my God!
310
00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:02,487
Ow.
311
00:16:02,489 --> 00:16:03,888
Oh...
312
00:16:03,890 --> 00:16:04,889
God...
313
00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,493
Tastes just like grass.
314
00:16:09,495 --> 00:16:11,194
Are my teeth green?
315
00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:14,064
No, they're still yellow.
316
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:20,103
Oh, I have got to get
some new clothes
for this spa.
317
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,839
Everything I have
stinks like Lanford.
318
00:16:22,841 --> 00:16:26,310
Well, that's why we went
and bought all these
$10 magazines, Jackie,
319
00:16:26,312 --> 00:16:27,743
to get you looking hip.
320
00:16:27,745 --> 00:16:29,678
I am tired of being
the happening one
321
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,214
in this relationship.
322
00:16:32,583 --> 00:16:35,683
Oh my God, look.
Look at this, here.
323
00:16:35,685 --> 00:16:38,653
Feng shui.
What?
324
00:16:38,655 --> 00:16:41,122
Feng shui. Uh...
325
00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:42,890
The ancient Chinese art
326
00:16:42,892 --> 00:16:45,225
of arranging your furniture
and other objects
327
00:16:45,227 --> 00:16:47,028
so that you can better
live in harmony
328
00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:48,129
in your environment.
329
00:16:54,169 --> 00:16:57,137
Can't be done.
330
00:16:57,139 --> 00:16:59,639
Well, it says here
that Barbara Streisand
331
00:16:59,641 --> 00:17:01,641
would not even set foot
in her house
332
00:17:01,643 --> 00:17:03,809
until it had been
totally feng shui-ed.
333
00:17:06,014 --> 00:17:07,414
That sounds like Barbara.
334
00:17:09,017 --> 00:17:10,548
God, I love her.
335
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:12,051
I heard she had
her chin done,
336
00:17:12,053 --> 00:17:13,353
and just left the nose.
337
00:17:15,090 --> 00:17:16,356
That's class.
338
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:20,492
Next year's
fashion news, Roseanne.
339
00:17:20,494 --> 00:17:22,327
Heroin chic is out.
340
00:17:22,329 --> 00:17:24,129
Waitress meets Schoolmarm
is in.
341
00:17:25,465 --> 00:17:27,598
Well, I guess next year's
your year, Jackie.
342
00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:30,801
Okay. Movin' on.
343
00:17:30,803 --> 00:17:32,637
You know that
Dalai Lama dude.
344
00:17:32,639 --> 00:17:35,773
He goes out on tour more
than the Rolling Stones.
345
00:17:37,076 --> 00:17:38,175
Now does he...
346
00:17:38,177 --> 00:17:39,743
live with Richard Gere?
347
00:17:42,447 --> 00:17:44,181
No, he's a holy man.
348
00:17:44,183 --> 00:17:45,448
He lives in
the mountains somewhere.
349
00:17:45,450 --> 00:17:47,517
But I think they just
have the same publicist.
350
00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:51,521
Evening. I'm gonna go out
and run a few errands.
351
00:17:51,523 --> 00:17:52,522
I'll be back in a bit.
352
00:17:52,524 --> 00:17:55,025
Dan! It's Monday
Night Football!
353
00:17:55,027 --> 00:17:57,059
You haven't left this house
on a Monday night
354
00:17:57,061 --> 00:17:58,761
in damn near 18 years.
355
00:18:00,932 --> 00:18:02,198
Well, it'll be
in the paper tomorrow.
356
00:18:06,069 --> 00:18:07,335
He's getting worse!
357
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:09,937
[door closes]
I know that, Jackie.
358
00:18:09,939 --> 00:18:12,640
I'm just trying to enjoy
what's left of my denial.
359
00:18:14,978 --> 00:18:16,543
Wow.
360
00:18:16,545 --> 00:18:18,578
What?
361
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:21,848
I had a wheat grass rush.
362
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:23,616
Set 'em up again!
363
00:18:34,129 --> 00:18:36,729
What are you doing, Dan?
We hired Chuck to paint
this room.
364
00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:38,897
No, no. I just thought
I'd prep it for him.
365
00:18:38,899 --> 00:18:40,766
I know where all the holes
are and everything.
366
00:18:42,102 --> 00:18:43,836
Yeah? So...all right.
367
00:18:43,838 --> 00:18:45,271
What's really
going on, Dan?
368
00:18:46,406 --> 00:18:47,973
I'm spackling.
369
00:18:47,975 --> 00:18:49,740
Well, it's 11:00 at night,
370
00:18:49,742 --> 00:18:52,310
and you've just spackled
over an outlet.
371
00:18:52,312 --> 00:18:55,146
So do you want to
tell me what's going on?
372
00:18:55,148 --> 00:18:56,915
What.
373
00:18:56,917 --> 00:18:59,683
I've been really
patient with you,
for the past three days,
374
00:18:59,685 --> 00:19:01,085
but I wanna know
what's wrong.
375
00:19:02,521 --> 00:19:03,653
[sighs]
376
00:19:06,558 --> 00:19:09,258
You know, Rosie,
I'm a good father.
377
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:11,360
And...a decent husband.
378
00:19:11,362 --> 00:19:12,729
But I am a lousy son.
379
00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:16,666
Lousy son? Where's this
all coming from?
380
00:19:16,668 --> 00:19:20,269
Well, you know,
my life's getting better.
381
00:19:20,271 --> 00:19:22,371
But my mom's in
a psychiatric hospital,
382
00:19:22,373 --> 00:19:25,374
and nothing changes for her.
383
00:19:25,376 --> 00:19:27,776
Last time I went
to see her, she didn't
even know who I was.
384
00:19:27,778 --> 00:19:30,078
So I stayed for
all of 30 minutes.
385
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,148
Well, you...can't go
being hard on yourself.
386
00:19:33,150 --> 00:19:35,383
Dan, you've done
every single thing
that you could do.
387
00:19:35,385 --> 00:19:37,419
Yeah, well,
she deserves better.
388
00:19:37,421 --> 00:19:39,686
She was a great mom.
389
00:19:39,688 --> 00:19:42,290
I mean, when--
when I was a kid,
390
00:19:42,292 --> 00:19:44,359
I didn't think
she was weird at all.
391
00:19:44,361 --> 00:19:46,160
She was funny and wild,
392
00:19:46,162 --> 00:19:47,394
you know, in a good way.
393
00:19:47,396 --> 00:19:49,096
No, she was
totally awesome.
394
00:19:49,098 --> 00:19:50,564
Remember that one time,
395
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:52,967
where we were just gonna
go out for ice cream?
396
00:19:52,969 --> 00:19:55,502
And then she just happened
to show up, with ice cream,
397
00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:57,169
and it was the exact
same flavors
398
00:19:57,171 --> 00:19:58,705
that we were gonna
go out and get?
399
00:19:58,707 --> 00:20:02,575
It was like she was
psychic or something.
I remember.
400
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:07,246
Yeah. Well, maybe she's not
in such bad shape, after all.
You know?
401
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:10,316
'Cause, I mean,
when you're poor
and you act different,
402
00:20:10,318 --> 00:20:13,051
everybody automatically
assumes that you're crazy.
403
00:20:13,053 --> 00:20:15,053
But when you're rich
and you act different,
404
00:20:15,055 --> 00:20:16,888
I mean, they just
call you eccentric.
405
00:20:18,658 --> 00:20:20,225
I would love to take her
to a place
406
00:20:20,227 --> 00:20:22,393
and get a real
good diagnosis.
407
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,095
You know, something
really thorough.
408
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,864
Find out what's
really wrong with her.
409
00:20:26,866 --> 00:20:29,167
So, umm...
410
00:20:29,169 --> 00:20:32,869
I've been looking around,
and I heard about this place
in California,
411
00:20:32,871 --> 00:20:35,173
in Santa Monica,
that she could go to.
412
00:20:37,475 --> 00:20:39,776
So now that I got the dough,
I'm gonna take her there.
413
00:20:39,778 --> 00:20:41,543
I'm not gonna go
on the spa trip with you.
414
00:20:43,449 --> 00:20:44,713
Well, yeah, definitely.
415
00:20:44,715 --> 00:20:46,416
You've got way more
important things to do.
416
00:20:46,418 --> 00:20:47,850
I think that's
a great idea.
417
00:20:47,852 --> 00:20:49,118
I'm-- I'm glad
you're doing that.
418
00:20:58,728 --> 00:21:00,962
God, look at this mess!
Why the hell did I start this?
419
00:21:05,735 --> 00:21:08,136
'Cause it needed to be done
sooner or later, Dan.
420
00:21:08,138 --> 00:21:10,138
Just another one of those
things we put off
421
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:12,439
for way, way too long.
422
00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:15,209
Yeah, we should have
kept up with it.
423
00:21:15,211 --> 00:21:17,845
It's a shame that we
let it get this far.
424
00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:19,713
It wasn't our fault, Dan.
425
00:21:19,715 --> 00:21:20,814
We didn't have the time,
426
00:21:20,816 --> 00:21:23,183
and we didn't have
the money.
427
00:21:23,185 --> 00:21:25,785
But we do now.
428
00:21:25,787 --> 00:21:27,754
Yay, what do you say?
Before I put the lids
on the cans,
429
00:21:27,756 --> 00:21:29,522
you wanna paint crap
on the wall?
430
00:21:29,524 --> 00:21:30,757
Yeah.
Gimme that roller.
431
00:21:42,235 --> 00:21:43,835
Oh, I'm sorry. And, uh...
432
00:21:43,837 --> 00:21:47,105
this is Mrs. Harris, the woman who raised me.
433
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:49,607
Hello, America. Hello.
434
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,075
And my sister, Jackie.
435
00:21:51,077 --> 00:21:52,610
I helped pick the numbers.
436
00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,381
I helped pick the numbers.
437
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:02,752
I found her.
438
00:22:13,798 --> 00:22:16,831
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc.
Burbank, CA
37251
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof