All language subtitles for Queer as Folk (US) - 01x06

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:42,245 --> 00:00:43,410 Okay. 2 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,511 So I'm a gay man with a superhero fetish. 3 00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,111 Yes, we're out there. 4 00:00:47,112 --> 00:00:49,979 And, no, it doesn't have anything to do with immaturity. 5 00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:52,112 I think we gay boys learn important lessons 6 00:00:52,113 --> 00:00:53,713 from comic books. 7 00:00:53,714 --> 00:00:55,647 One... there are a lot of villains out there, 8 00:00:55,648 --> 00:00:57,647 so you better develop some secret powers. 9 00:00:57,648 --> 00:01:01,181 Two... if you have a good body, you can wear tight clothes. 10 00:01:01,182 --> 00:01:05,350 And three... it's always good to be part of a dynamic duo. 11 00:01:07,451 --> 00:01:09,550 - I totally blew it. - Don't worry. 12 00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:11,451 There's still plenty of creepy old men out there 13 00:01:11,452 --> 00:01:12,584 who'd love to get in your pants. 14 00:01:12,585 --> 00:01:14,218 He wasn't that old. 15 00:01:14,219 --> 00:01:15,952 He wasn't creepy. He was nice. 16 00:01:15,953 --> 00:01:17,152 My first doctor. 17 00:01:17,153 --> 00:01:18,219 Chiropractor. 18 00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:19,319 That counts... 19 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,353 I think. 20 00:01:20,354 --> 00:01:22,487 Uh, we got in the new Catwoman. 21 00:01:22,488 --> 00:01:24,488 Cool. 22 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:30,389 He takes me to this really nice restaurant. 23 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,422 I behave like a fucking idiot... 24 00:01:32,423 --> 00:01:34,990 Dressed up like some slick asshole. 25 00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:37,191 Hey, that was my $1,200 leather jacket. 26 00:01:37,192 --> 00:01:40,125 It wasn't me. 27 00:01:40,126 --> 00:01:41,392 You know why? 'Cause I'm nobody. 28 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,425 That's my problem. 29 00:01:43,426 --> 00:01:45,059 Are you even listening to me? 30 00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:49,060 I tune out self-pity. It makes my dick soft. 31 00:01:49,061 --> 00:01:52,327 And we wouldn't want that... 32 00:01:52,328 --> 00:01:54,495 Would we? 33 00:01:54,496 --> 00:01:55,962 Just forget I said anything. 34 00:01:57,030 --> 00:01:58,963 Oh, wow. Look. 35 00:01:58,964 --> 00:02:00,297 It's the new Electra woman doll. 36 00:02:00,298 --> 00:02:01,997 I'm going to buy this for Gus. 37 00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:02,998 Don't. 38 00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:04,664 I don't want a gay kid. 39 00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:06,665 He's being raised by two lesbians. 40 00:02:06,666 --> 00:02:08,565 He's going to need a feminine influence. 41 00:02:08,566 --> 00:02:13,567 Besides, it'll be a collector's item. 42 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:14,600 Well, I'll take it. 43 00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:16,434 I'm going over there. 44 00:02:16,435 --> 00:02:17,468 I'll go too. 45 00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,935 No. 46 00:02:19,936 --> 00:02:23,235 You're going back to the doctor. 47 00:02:23,236 --> 00:02:26,204 Tell him you want to give it another try. 48 00:02:42,108 --> 00:02:44,375 Does your mom know you're out buying jewelry? 49 00:02:44,376 --> 00:02:46,174 She's totally cool with everything, 50 00:02:46,175 --> 00:02:48,075 or at least she's pretending to be because she's scared 51 00:02:48,076 --> 00:02:50,043 I'll run away and become a hairdresser. 52 00:02:50,044 --> 00:02:51,076 I hate you. 53 00:02:51,077 --> 00:02:52,277 My mom's such a bitch, 54 00:02:52,278 --> 00:02:53,577 and I haven't even given her a reason yet. 55 00:02:53,578 --> 00:02:55,278 How about these? 56 00:02:55,279 --> 00:02:57,578 - They're totally queer. - Shut up. 57 00:02:57,579 --> 00:03:02,512 They're a symbol of our friendship. 58 00:03:02,513 --> 00:03:05,980 Okay. Thanks. 59 00:03:05,981 --> 00:03:08,614 Actually, I don't have any money. 60 00:03:08,615 --> 00:03:11,149 I had to buy a new fake I.D. 61 00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:16,850 Look! That's them... 62 00:03:16,851 --> 00:03:19,851 Brian's lesbians. 63 00:03:23,319 --> 00:03:24,518 Hey! 64 00:03:24,519 --> 00:03:26,052 Hey. 65 00:03:26,053 --> 00:03:27,085 How's it going? 66 00:03:27,086 --> 00:03:28,352 I'm sorry. Do we know you? 67 00:03:28,353 --> 00:03:30,819 I'm Justin... 68 00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:31,986 Brian's friend. 69 00:03:31,987 --> 00:03:33,854 I was there the night Gus was born. 70 00:03:33,855 --> 00:03:34,588 I named him. 71 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,855 - Yeah. - Oh, right. 72 00:03:36,856 --> 00:03:38,455 So, when Gus ends up pumping gas, 73 00:03:38,456 --> 00:03:39,522 we'll have you to thank. 74 00:03:41,256 --> 00:03:43,390 - This is Daphne. - Hi. 75 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:46,024 I'm not a lesbian, but I... I'm a big fan. 76 00:03:47,891 --> 00:03:49,191 He's gotten so big already. 77 00:03:49,192 --> 00:03:50,325 Oh, well, you would too 78 00:03:50,326 --> 00:03:51,859 if all you did was sleep and eat all day. 79 00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:53,258 He does. 80 00:03:53,259 --> 00:03:54,825 He's, like, the cutest baby I've ever seen. 81 00:03:54,826 --> 00:03:56,393 If you ever need a babysitter... 82 00:03:56,394 --> 00:03:58,127 Don't say that unless you mean it. 83 00:03:58,128 --> 00:04:00,260 And if you need any help carrying stuff to the car, 84 00:04:00,261 --> 00:04:02,794 I'd be glad to be of assistance. 85 00:04:02,795 --> 00:04:07,229 Wow, you're good for 1,001 uses. 86 00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,329 I'll see you later? 87 00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,297 I don't know. 88 00:04:10,298 --> 00:04:11,397 I'm out. 89 00:04:11,398 --> 00:04:12,931 At work? 90 00:04:12,932 --> 00:04:14,364 That's fabulous. 91 00:04:14,365 --> 00:04:17,998 Out of the scene, I mean. 92 00:04:17,999 --> 00:04:19,365 I made up my mind... 93 00:04:19,366 --> 00:04:22,266 No more bars, no more baths, no more clubs. 94 00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:24,300 You'll never see my face at Babylon again. 95 00:04:24,301 --> 00:04:25,533 Oh, please. 96 00:04:25,534 --> 00:04:27,367 You can't let one little drug-induced coma 97 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,501 get you down. 98 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:29,834 What do you think? 99 00:04:29,835 --> 00:04:32,069 You look unbelievably trashy. 100 00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:33,403 Talked me into it. 101 00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:34,770 I'll buy it. 102 00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:36,836 You missed my point entirely. 103 00:04:36,837 --> 00:04:38,938 Everything we do, even the clothes we wear, 104 00:04:38,939 --> 00:04:41,004 is a conscious, or worse yet, 105 00:04:41,005 --> 00:04:42,505 unconscious attempt to get laid. 106 00:04:42,506 --> 00:04:43,805 Yes, it's true. 107 00:04:43,806 --> 00:04:45,439 There is an overemphasis on sex. 108 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,240 But why not buy two sizes too small and go with it? 109 00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:50,073 Because, tragically, 110 00:04:50,074 --> 00:04:52,107 some of us were not born to wear Lycra. 111 00:04:52,108 --> 00:04:54,274 Here, check out the personals. 112 00:04:54,275 --> 00:04:57,409 Perhaps you'll find someone to not go out with. 113 00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:59,809 You know, one thing I never understood about these ads... 114 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:02,510 Why is it always "tit work" and "ass play"? 115 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,144 If you ask me, it's a lot harder to... 116 00:05:04,145 --> 00:05:06,978 Hey, look at this, at the center. 117 00:05:06,979 --> 00:05:08,345 "Date Bait... 118 00:05:08,346 --> 00:05:09,879 meet other single gay men 119 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,912 in a civilized evening of conversation. 120 00:05:11,913 --> 00:05:14,780 No pickups, no face-to-face rejection." 121 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,514 They have an over-30 night. 122 00:05:16,515 --> 00:05:18,247 Where, at the morgue? 123 00:05:18,248 --> 00:05:20,214 Just for that, you're going with me. 124 00:05:20,215 --> 00:05:22,848 I am not over 30. 125 00:05:22,849 --> 00:05:26,783 And I am not going alone. 126 00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:35,851 I didn't realize we had scheduled a follow-up visit. 127 00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:37,886 We didn't. I told them it was an emergency. 128 00:05:37,887 --> 00:05:40,486 - What's the problem? - I'm a jerk. 129 00:05:40,487 --> 00:05:42,286 Can you adjust that? 130 00:05:42,287 --> 00:05:46,088 Provided it's not a permanent condition. 131 00:05:46,089 --> 00:05:49,088 See, the thing is, I don't date very often. 132 00:05:49,089 --> 00:05:51,755 You know, real "eat a meal, talk, 133 00:05:51,756 --> 00:05:54,823 stare into each other's eyes" kind of dates. 134 00:05:54,824 --> 00:05:58,390 So I... I kind of freaked. 135 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:02,125 And I'm sorry I was such an asshole. 136 00:06:02,126 --> 00:06:04,926 You weren't an asshole. 137 00:06:04,927 --> 00:06:08,160 Believe me, I've seen assholes and... 138 00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:11,061 I mean, uh... 139 00:06:11,062 --> 00:06:13,328 I feel shitty about it. 140 00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:14,828 And... 141 00:06:14,829 --> 00:06:16,395 I really like you. 142 00:06:16,396 --> 00:06:19,463 And I think you might actually have liked me. 143 00:06:19,464 --> 00:06:20,997 I do like you. 144 00:06:20,998 --> 00:06:22,331 You do? 145 00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,164 Well... 146 00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:27,266 Do you think we could start over? 147 00:06:28,399 --> 00:06:31,400 Sit down. 148 00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:48,437 You're adorable, you know that? 149 00:06:54,772 --> 00:06:56,138 I got something for Gus. 150 00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:01,341 That's so sweet. 151 00:07:01,342 --> 00:07:04,941 We'll call Michael later to thank him. 152 00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,009 How long have you been drawing? 153 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,875 My mom brought me crayons when I was still in the crib. 154 00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,743 - Hmm. - I never stopped. 155 00:07:11,744 --> 00:07:13,010 What's he doing here? 156 00:07:13,011 --> 00:07:15,978 We ran into each other on the street. 157 00:07:15,979 --> 00:07:18,345 It was, like, this weird coincidence. 158 00:07:18,346 --> 00:07:21,045 I bet. 159 00:07:21,046 --> 00:07:24,946 You know, these are good. 160 00:07:24,947 --> 00:07:26,246 That's what my mom says. 161 00:07:26,247 --> 00:07:28,014 Lindsay's an art teacher. 162 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,247 For someone your age, 163 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,381 you have an amazing feel for the human form. 164 00:07:31,382 --> 00:07:33,982 I've noticed that myself. 165 00:07:33,983 --> 00:07:35,749 Look at this. 166 00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,316 Oh, don't show him. 167 00:07:37,317 --> 00:07:39,249 Oh. 168 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,284 Mmm. 169 00:07:41,285 --> 00:07:43,985 When did you draw that? 170 00:07:43,986 --> 00:07:45,418 When you were asleep. 171 00:07:45,419 --> 00:07:47,619 Ah, circumcised... 172 00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,086 Just like I thought. 173 00:07:49,087 --> 00:07:51,720 You know, there's going to be an art show at the GLC. 174 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,820 What's that? 175 00:07:52,821 --> 00:07:55,721 The Gay and Lesbian Center... 176 00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:58,855 Safe haven for fags who can't get laid. 177 00:07:58,856 --> 00:08:00,623 You know, it might be good to get out 178 00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:03,656 and meet some nice young men for a change. 179 00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:04,657 It's the annual fund-raiser. 180 00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:06,123 Melanie and I are on the board. 181 00:08:06,124 --> 00:08:08,224 Would you like to have your work in the show? 182 00:08:08,225 --> 00:08:10,358 You mean people seeing my stuff? 183 00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:13,292 - Yeah. - That'd be intense. 184 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,059 But, yeah. 185 00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:16,393 Good. 186 00:08:16,394 --> 00:08:20,194 Give him some activities, so he'll stop stalking me. 187 00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:22,728 Don't flatter yourself. 188 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,629 We like Justin. 189 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:28,062 Justin can stay. 190 00:08:28,063 --> 00:08:30,296 We'll make sure everyone comes, 191 00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:31,930 including you. 192 00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,664 Write down the numbers 193 00:08:34,665 --> 00:08:36,131 of the men you're interested in. 194 00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:38,298 And if the computer matches you up, 195 00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:40,099 you have to go out on a date. 196 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,599 Those are the rules. 197 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,634 Hi. Uh, my name is Bruce. 198 00:08:44,635 --> 00:08:46,101 I'm a little nervous. 199 00:08:46,102 --> 00:08:48,001 I only came out about a year ago. 200 00:08:48,002 --> 00:08:50,735 I like, uh, Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby... 201 00:08:50,736 --> 00:08:53,702 I teach piano and voice at Carnegie Mellon. 202 00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:55,836 And watching Frasier. 203 00:08:55,837 --> 00:08:57,703 My friend made me come. 204 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,571 I'm looking for a nice guy who likes chihuahuas. 205 00:09:01,572 --> 00:09:02,904 I have three. 206 00:09:02,905 --> 00:09:06,572 My boyfriend would kill me if he knew. 207 00:09:06,573 --> 00:09:09,173 And I have a Speedo fetish... 208 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,073 Especially red and teal. 209 00:09:11,074 --> 00:09:15,341 I recently went home with this very cute boy 210 00:09:15,342 --> 00:09:17,075 that I met at Babylon. 211 00:09:17,076 --> 00:09:18,842 Uh, he had some drugs. 212 00:09:18,843 --> 00:09:21,176 I also conduct the local gay men's chorus. 213 00:09:21,177 --> 00:09:23,910 I hope you'll all come to our upcoming concert. 214 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:27,344 I wanted to seem young and sexy, so I took some, 215 00:09:27,345 --> 00:09:29,811 and I ended up in a coma. 216 00:09:29,812 --> 00:09:31,212 And, uh... 217 00:09:31,213 --> 00:09:35,647 And I would love someone to come home to after rehearsal. 218 00:09:35,648 --> 00:09:38,980 Now I'm looking for a relationship 219 00:09:38,981 --> 00:09:41,048 based on something real. 220 00:09:41,049 --> 00:09:42,814 And I thought maybe there might be someone here 221 00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:44,281 who's looking for the same thing. 222 00:09:44,282 --> 00:09:47,117 And, uh, that's all. 223 00:09:50,585 --> 00:09:53,284 Faggots, faggots everywhere and not a drop to drink. 224 00:09:53,285 --> 00:09:55,251 I can honestly say I have no desire to have sex 225 00:09:55,252 --> 00:09:57,685 with any of these people. 226 00:09:57,686 --> 00:10:00,020 Me neither. 227 00:10:01,754 --> 00:10:04,955 It's a start. 228 00:10:10,823 --> 00:10:13,056 I've never seen so many comic books. 229 00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:14,890 That's what everybody I bring home s... 230 00:10:14,891 --> 00:10:17,591 I mean, people have told me that. 231 00:10:17,592 --> 00:10:19,991 Mm-hmm. 232 00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:22,592 Who's the big fella? 233 00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:25,559 Captain Astro. 234 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,960 Um, my friend Emmett... He's staying with me. 235 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,260 It was supposed to be a temporary thing, 236 00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,827 but he's become sort of a squatter. 237 00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:34,128 He may come home at any time. So, sorry about that. 238 00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:38,262 You don't have to apologize for everything. 239 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,263 I know. 240 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,830 I do that. I'm sorry. 241 00:10:41,831 --> 00:10:43,930 Um... 242 00:10:43,931 --> 00:10:45,498 Do you want anything... 243 00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:48,798 Um, juice, beer? 244 00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:50,867 I don't have any wine. 245 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,240 Slow. 246 00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,792 Hi, guys. You know what you'd like? 247 00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:05,958 Um... 248 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:09,759 I'll have the bacon cheeseburger, 249 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:10,760 medium fries, 250 00:12:10,761 --> 00:12:13,860 and, uh, a Pepsi. 251 00:12:13,861 --> 00:12:15,894 Okay. 252 00:12:15,895 --> 00:12:19,462 Uh, I'll have the, uh... the grilled tuna 253 00:12:19,463 --> 00:12:23,196 and um... I, uh... 254 00:12:23,197 --> 00:12:26,230 - Just... I'll ha... I'll have water. - Oh, come on, live a little. 255 00:12:26,231 --> 00:12:27,864 I can tell you've been denying yourself 256 00:12:27,865 --> 00:12:30,466 for way too long. 257 00:12:32,366 --> 00:12:33,899 All right, give me what he's having. 258 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:35,900 Okay, coming right up. 259 00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:44,501 He has a nice smile. 260 00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,436 Among other attributes. 261 00:12:46,437 --> 00:12:48,169 I'm sure he's a fine person. 262 00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:51,503 Rhodes scholar would be my guess. 263 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,637 You know, ordinarily, I'd be wracking my brain 264 00:12:53,638 --> 00:12:54,904 to come up with some pathetic line 265 00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,337 for when he comes back, like, uh, 266 00:12:56,338 --> 00:12:57,805 "I haven't seen you here before. Are you new?" 267 00:12:57,806 --> 00:13:00,238 Or, uh, "do I know you from somewhere? 268 00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,239 No? Must be in a dream." 269 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,207 "So when did they start hiring models here?" 270 00:13:05,208 --> 00:13:07,240 You're worse than I am. 271 00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:08,741 You want me to go to the men's room, 272 00:13:08,742 --> 00:13:10,542 so you can take a crack at him or... ? 273 00:13:10,543 --> 00:13:12,375 Oh, God, no! 274 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:14,376 It never worked anyway... 275 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,643 All that useless flirting. 276 00:13:15,644 --> 00:13:19,177 It is such a relief to be out of that world. 277 00:13:19,178 --> 00:13:21,445 I have a confession to make. 278 00:13:21,446 --> 00:13:23,845 I didn't go to Date Bait just to drum up an audience 279 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,279 for our 500th Sondheim concert. 280 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,379 I had a feeling. 281 00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:29,613 I was hoping that I would find someone 282 00:13:29,614 --> 00:13:30,614 I could connect to. 283 00:13:30,615 --> 00:13:32,347 Someone appropriate. 284 00:13:32,348 --> 00:13:33,381 Exactly. 285 00:13:33,382 --> 00:13:36,315 Someone appropriate. 286 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,348 Well... 287 00:13:38,349 --> 00:13:42,817 I say let's get to know each other and... 288 00:13:42,818 --> 00:13:44,783 See what happens. 289 00:13:44,784 --> 00:13:46,217 Take it slow. 290 00:13:46,218 --> 00:13:48,851 I always preferred andante to presto anyway. 291 00:13:49,886 --> 00:13:51,718 Okay, boys... 292 00:13:51,719 --> 00:13:54,754 These'll help cool you down. 293 00:13:58,488 --> 00:14:00,588 27 minutes on my nipples... 294 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,188 I clocked it. 295 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:05,355 I mean, I expected him to know what to do with his hands, 296 00:14:05,356 --> 00:14:06,489 'cause that's his business, 297 00:14:06,490 --> 00:14:10,223 but he has the most talented tongue. 298 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,424 Every time I came... 299 00:14:11,425 --> 00:14:13,291 "Every time"? 300 00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:17,158 He would just keep on going... 301 00:14:17,159 --> 00:14:19,759 Licking me everywhere. 302 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,626 I once knew a guy who could tie a cherry stem 303 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,227 into a knot with his tongue. 304 00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:25,093 I was afraid to let him blow me. 305 00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:26,227 27 minutes? 306 00:14:26,228 --> 00:14:29,495 Was that 13 1/2 on each nipple, or... 307 00:14:29,496 --> 00:14:33,095 16 right, 11 left. 308 00:14:33,096 --> 00:14:35,663 Yeah, that's probably how long it takes him to get it up. 309 00:14:35,664 --> 00:14:36,831 I wouldn't know. 310 00:14:36,832 --> 00:14:38,564 I never saw it when it was down. 311 00:14:38,565 --> 00:14:41,498 Another Viagra success story. 312 00:14:41,499 --> 00:14:43,365 So are you bringing him to Woody's tonight? 313 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,432 He's not really into the bar scene. 314 00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:48,366 Well, what is he into? 315 00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:49,800 His life. 316 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,434 Like the guy I met. 317 00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:53,468 You met someone? 318 00:14:53,469 --> 00:14:55,368 He's very nice, 319 00:14:55,369 --> 00:14:57,602 very intelligent, very interesting. 320 00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:59,503 Is he a top or a bottom? 321 00:14:59,504 --> 00:15:02,037 You know, not everybody judges people 322 00:15:02,038 --> 00:15:03,103 by your criteria, okay? 323 00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:04,571 Roger and I... 324 00:15:04,572 --> 00:15:05,505 Roger? 325 00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:07,371 Roger and I have decided 326 00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:10,039 to get to know each other before we have sex. 327 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,473 What do you think you are... Lesbians? 328 00:15:13,474 --> 00:15:15,407 It's like The Mirror Has Two Faces. 329 00:15:15,408 --> 00:15:17,241 No. No, it is, because Barbra 330 00:15:17,242 --> 00:15:19,374 plays an unattractive professor... no offense... 331 00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:20,441 who marries Jeff Bridges 332 00:15:20,442 --> 00:15:21,708 because neither one of them can handle sex. 333 00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:23,776 But of course Barbra gets horny because, 334 00:15:23,777 --> 00:15:25,709 hello, Jeff's such a dreamboat. 335 00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:27,710 So she hops on a StairMaster for, like, two minutes, 336 00:15:27,711 --> 00:15:28,743 eats a carrot stick, and then, poof! 337 00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:30,211 She's gorgeous. 338 00:15:30,212 --> 00:15:33,111 Then she comes in dressed like the hooker in Nuts, 339 00:15:33,112 --> 00:15:34,712 and, of course, Jeff's willing to fuck her. 340 00:15:34,713 --> 00:15:39,179 And, um, they dance in the street. 341 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,746 And she still wasn't nominated. 342 00:15:40,747 --> 00:15:43,080 You know, you do it right away, 343 00:15:43,081 --> 00:15:45,681 or you don't do it at all. 344 00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:50,349 I'm happy for you, Mikey. 345 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,051 The fuck he is. 346 00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:57,184 Justin, Daphne's here. 347 00:15:57,185 --> 00:15:59,785 - Molly... - We're going to be late. 348 00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:02,185 Hey, look... 349 00:16:02,186 --> 00:16:05,119 Justin told me how great you're being about everything. 350 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,020 And I just want to say I think he's really lucky 351 00:16:07,021 --> 00:16:08,487 to have such an understanding mom. 352 00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:10,287 Well, I'm trying. 353 00:16:10,288 --> 00:16:11,754 Yeah, well, it must be hard, 354 00:16:11,755 --> 00:16:13,622 'cause my family... I'm black, 355 00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:14,989 my parents are black. 356 00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:17,289 We're all black, you know what I mean? 357 00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,490 I think so. 358 00:16:19,491 --> 00:16:21,624 Oh. Did you see the flyer? 359 00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:24,191 - What flyer? - For the art show. 360 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,592 His name's really big. 361 00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,625 Would you come on already? 362 00:16:27,626 --> 00:16:30,559 Gay and lesbian cent... When did this happen? 363 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,494 Oh, my God. You mean he didn't... 364 00:16:32,495 --> 00:16:34,494 He doesn't tell me much these days. 365 00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:37,094 Oh, promise you won't tell him I told you, 366 00:16:37,095 --> 00:16:38,294 or he'll stop telling me. 367 00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:39,628 You don't have to yell. 368 00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:42,362 I heard you the first time. 369 00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:44,363 And I don't know when I'll be back. 370 00:16:44,364 --> 00:16:45,630 Justin! 371 00:16:47,531 --> 00:16:49,498 Be careful. 372 00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:53,232 Chris, pass me that hammer. 373 00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:54,465 You're really good at that. 374 00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:56,199 Thanks. 375 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,633 I like you guys' bracelets. 376 00:16:57,634 --> 00:16:58,967 Oh, they're for friendship. 377 00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,634 I mean, he's not my boyfriend or anything. 378 00:17:00,635 --> 00:17:02,501 I figured. 379 00:17:02,502 --> 00:17:04,168 You can tell I'm gay? 380 00:17:04,169 --> 00:17:07,102 Well, you're here, aren't you? 381 00:17:07,103 --> 00:17:09,436 I'm heading on down to the diner to get a soda. 382 00:17:09,437 --> 00:17:11,237 You want to come? 383 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,403 Sure. 384 00:17:13,404 --> 00:17:15,971 What... What are you doing? 385 00:17:15,972 --> 00:17:17,204 She thinks you're a lesbian. 386 00:17:17,205 --> 00:17:20,172 Well, can't I be one of the cool people too? 387 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,305 You're a freak. 388 00:17:24,641 --> 00:17:27,174 You know, you have real talent. 389 00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:29,241 - Really? - You should develop it... 390 00:17:29,242 --> 00:17:30,375 Maybe go to art school. 391 00:17:30,376 --> 00:17:31,642 I've been thinking about that. 392 00:17:31,643 --> 00:17:33,342 Well, if you ever need a recommendation... 393 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,543 Thanks. 394 00:17:35,544 --> 00:17:39,377 Do you think Brian's going to come? 395 00:17:39,378 --> 00:17:42,144 Don't expect too much from him, okay? 396 00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,612 What's too much? 397 00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:46,446 Anything at all. 398 00:17:46,447 --> 00:17:48,045 You'll have lots of relationships, Justin, 399 00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:50,313 with lots of interesting people. 400 00:17:50,314 --> 00:17:54,181 I know you don't believe that right now, but you will. 401 00:17:54,182 --> 00:17:56,348 I just want him to see his picture framed, 402 00:17:56,349 --> 00:17:59,449 that's all. 403 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,118 Are you sure you want to do this? 404 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:13,585 Yeah, why not? 405 00:18:13,586 --> 00:18:17,154 Get a taste of your world, see what I'm saving you from. 406 00:18:18,622 --> 00:18:21,355 ♪ This is what I feel ♪ 407 00:18:21,356 --> 00:18:25,055 ♪ do you think that you can take ♪ 408 00:18:25,056 --> 00:18:26,023 ♪ everything... ♪ 409 00:18:26,024 --> 00:18:28,489 Just the same as I remember it. 410 00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:31,457 Even the guys look the same. 411 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,057 Why'd you stop? 412 00:18:33,058 --> 00:18:36,324 It wasn't for me. And I met someone. 413 00:18:36,325 --> 00:18:37,492 Oh. 414 00:18:37,493 --> 00:18:40,260 Yeah, we were together almost six years. 415 00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:42,093 Wow. 416 00:18:42,094 --> 00:18:45,327 So who left who? 417 00:18:45,328 --> 00:18:48,295 He died. 418 00:18:48,296 --> 00:18:49,529 I'm sorry. 419 00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,529 Nobody's fault. 420 00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:53,896 Hi. 421 00:18:53,897 --> 00:18:56,630 So is, uh... is this the famous chiropractor? 422 00:18:56,631 --> 00:18:58,964 David, this is Emmett. 423 00:18:58,965 --> 00:19:01,598 - Hi, Emmett. - Hello, gorgeous. 424 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,899 So, um... So I've, uh... 425 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,199 I've got a little tightness right in here... 426 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:07,101 One place I don't need it. 427 00:19:07,102 --> 00:19:08,433 Would you mind? 428 00:19:08,434 --> 00:19:10,500 I wouldn't mind at all if you made an appointment. 429 00:19:10,501 --> 00:19:13,101 Well, it's worth a shot. 430 00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,334 Where's Ted? 431 00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:16,968 Out with the Pillsbury Doughboy. 432 00:19:16,969 --> 00:19:18,202 Oh, my God. 433 00:19:18,203 --> 00:19:19,536 That guy over there looks exactly 434 00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:21,870 like Matthew McConaughey. 435 00:19:21,871 --> 00:19:25,638 Maybe he smokes pot naked. Excuse me. 436 00:19:26,972 --> 00:19:28,505 He doesn't hold anything back, huh? 437 00:19:28,506 --> 00:19:33,207 He was toning it down for you. 438 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:39,375 Where the fuck have you been? 439 00:19:39,376 --> 00:19:41,475 Brian, this is David. 440 00:19:41,476 --> 00:19:43,409 Oh, fuck me, the new beau. 441 00:19:43,410 --> 00:19:45,109 I've heard a lot about you. 442 00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:46,843 And I've heard a lot about you too. 443 00:19:46,844 --> 00:19:51,011 16 right, 11 left. 444 00:19:51,012 --> 00:19:52,878 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 445 00:19:52,879 --> 00:19:55,012 You're tweaked, what are you on? 446 00:19:55,013 --> 00:19:57,045 Oh, "E," "K," GHB... 447 00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:59,046 Most of the letters on Sesame Street. 448 00:19:59,047 --> 00:20:00,580 You're going to get dehydrated taking all that shit. 449 00:20:00,581 --> 00:20:02,080 I'm going to get you some water. 450 00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,515 - Want a beer? - Sure. 451 00:20:07,949 --> 00:20:10,016 Well, you've got him well trained. 452 00:20:10,017 --> 00:20:13,983 Well, he takes care of me, and I take care of him. 453 00:20:13,984 --> 00:20:16,984 So, Doc... 454 00:20:16,985 --> 00:20:20,451 Do you fuck all of your patients? 455 00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,452 Well, if you're referring to Michael, 456 00:20:22,453 --> 00:20:27,387 I released him from my care before we went out together. 457 00:20:28,421 --> 00:20:30,921 What about you? What do you do? 458 00:20:30,922 --> 00:20:32,388 Advertising. 459 00:20:32,389 --> 00:20:34,489 Well, you must know a thing or two 460 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:36,822 about screwing people yourself. 461 00:20:36,823 --> 00:20:38,557 Yeah, I could do it in my sleep. 462 00:20:38,558 --> 00:20:40,823 I bet you could. 463 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:43,257 You know, Dave, 464 00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:46,091 what's weird about you meeting Mikey... 465 00:20:46,092 --> 00:20:47,225 "Mikey"? 466 00:20:47,226 --> 00:20:50,126 Is that we usually meet guys together. 467 00:20:50,127 --> 00:20:53,459 And they usually end up with you. 468 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,460 The lucky ones. 469 00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:58,461 Debatable. 470 00:20:58,462 --> 00:21:03,362 - So what'd I miss? - Nothing special. 471 00:21:11,983 --> 00:21:13,382 Okay. 472 00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:16,816 Identify my favorite aria of all time, 473 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,016 and you instantly become my new favorite person. 474 00:21:19,017 --> 00:21:21,817 Oh, well, thanks for not putting any pressure on me. 475 00:21:28,219 --> 00:21:29,886 Clemenza Di Tito, 476 00:21:29,887 --> 00:21:32,686 Sesto's aria, act two. 477 00:21:32,687 --> 00:21:34,120 Come on, give me a tough one. 478 00:21:34,121 --> 00:21:36,854 Okay, stop trying to make me fall for you. 479 00:21:36,855 --> 00:21:38,688 Who's trying? 480 00:21:38,689 --> 00:21:39,855 You are the first person 481 00:21:39,856 --> 00:21:42,222 I've met in Pittsburgh who knows Sesto's aria. 482 00:21:42,223 --> 00:21:44,656 I'm the only other person who knows. 483 00:21:44,657 --> 00:21:47,223 You know, when I was a kid, 484 00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:50,725 I used to pretend I was sick on Saturday afternoons 485 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,058 so I could skip little league 486 00:21:52,059 --> 00:21:54,592 and listen to the Met Opera broadcasts on the radio. 487 00:21:54,593 --> 00:21:55,759 I wish I'd known you. 488 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,994 We could've listened together. 489 00:22:05,696 --> 00:22:08,263 Is, uh... is this allowed? 490 00:22:08,264 --> 00:22:10,963 Yeah. 491 00:22:10,964 --> 00:22:13,963 Only, uh... 492 00:22:13,964 --> 00:22:17,298 I'm not quite ready yet. 493 00:22:17,299 --> 00:22:18,965 It's okay. 494 00:22:18,966 --> 00:22:20,932 But I will be soon. 495 00:22:20,933 --> 00:22:23,766 And, uh... 496 00:22:23,767 --> 00:22:25,934 I have a feeling it's going to be great. 497 00:22:39,238 --> 00:22:41,237 You had a hideous time, I can tell. 498 00:22:42,872 --> 00:22:45,305 Ah, I don't mind going out once in a while. 499 00:22:45,306 --> 00:22:47,572 Are you implying that I'm a scene queen? 500 00:22:47,573 --> 00:22:49,273 You are a scene queen. 501 00:22:49,274 --> 00:22:51,673 We're in Pittsburgh. There is no scene. 502 00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:53,741 Yeah, so what's the big attraction? 503 00:22:53,742 --> 00:22:55,275 Well, if you don't go out, you don't meet people. 504 00:22:55,276 --> 00:22:57,842 - You met me. - Rare exception. 505 00:22:57,843 --> 00:22:59,742 - Besides, my friends are here. - Your friends? 506 00:22:59,743 --> 00:23:00,976 Some friends. 507 00:23:00,977 --> 00:23:02,810 Your friend Brian tried to hit on me. 508 00:23:02,811 --> 00:23:03,976 He did not. 509 00:23:03,977 --> 00:23:05,777 I've been around the block. 510 00:23:05,778 --> 00:23:08,745 He's always like that. Besides, he was high. 511 00:23:08,746 --> 00:23:10,812 - I'm just telling you. - He wouldn't. 512 00:23:10,813 --> 00:23:13,014 He did. 513 00:23:15,047 --> 00:23:17,246 Shit. 514 00:23:17,247 --> 00:23:19,014 Well, he can't have you. 515 00:23:19,015 --> 00:23:21,182 You're mine. 516 00:23:30,018 --> 00:23:31,951 Whoo! 517 00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:43,120 I told you, I'm not going. 518 00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:45,087 I promised him you'd be there. 519 00:23:45,088 --> 00:23:47,721 Well, you should stop making promises that I can't keep. 520 00:23:47,722 --> 00:23:49,222 Hey, don't be a shit. 521 00:23:49,223 --> 00:23:51,189 I'm trying to clean up some of your mess. 522 00:23:51,190 --> 00:23:54,123 Look, he's the one that threw himself at me. 523 00:23:54,124 --> 00:23:55,223 I've been trying to get rid of him. 524 00:23:55,224 --> 00:23:57,824 Tell it to the judge. 525 00:23:57,825 --> 00:24:01,091 When did you start sounding like your girlfriend? 526 00:24:01,092 --> 00:24:03,992 It's time you became part of the community. 527 00:24:03,993 --> 00:24:06,892 Look, just because I fuck guys 528 00:24:06,893 --> 00:24:08,960 does not mean I'm part of some community. 529 00:24:08,961 --> 00:24:10,661 And it doesn't mean I have anything in common 530 00:24:10,662 --> 00:24:12,694 with someone else who does. 531 00:24:12,695 --> 00:24:13,727 You know, it's more than that. 532 00:24:13,728 --> 00:24:15,795 We need to take care of each other. 533 00:24:15,796 --> 00:24:17,728 I don't need to take care of anyone. 534 00:24:17,729 --> 00:24:19,996 And I don't need anyone to take care of me. 535 00:24:19,997 --> 00:24:21,263 One day you might. 536 00:24:22,265 --> 00:24:24,497 Fuck groups. 537 00:24:24,498 --> 00:24:26,164 I thought you did. 538 00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:27,998 Occasionally. 539 00:24:27,999 --> 00:24:32,234 But it's by invitation only. 540 00:24:52,605 --> 00:24:53,905 Did you see this? 541 00:24:53,906 --> 00:24:55,172 They're charging $100 542 00:24:55,173 --> 00:24:56,705 for every one of your drawings. 543 00:24:56,706 --> 00:24:58,206 You could be rich. 544 00:24:58,207 --> 00:24:59,573 It's a charity. 545 00:24:59,574 --> 00:25:01,474 I don't get to keep it. 546 00:25:01,475 --> 00:25:03,674 Still. 547 00:25:03,675 --> 00:25:07,142 And would you stop watching the door? 548 00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:13,710 He plays beautifully, doesn't he? 549 00:25:13,711 --> 00:25:15,443 I'm all a-tingle. 550 00:25:15,444 --> 00:25:18,978 - So have you two had sex yet? - No! 551 00:25:18,979 --> 00:25:20,779 Would you keep your voice down? 552 00:25:20,780 --> 00:25:22,579 Well, when are you? 553 00:25:23,947 --> 00:25:25,813 When we both know it's the right thing to do. 554 00:25:25,814 --> 00:25:28,913 Sex is never the right thing to do. 555 00:25:28,914 --> 00:25:31,215 Feeding the poor is the right thing to do. 556 00:25:31,216 --> 00:25:33,014 Hiring the handicapped is the right thing to do. 557 00:25:33,015 --> 00:25:34,582 - Donating blood is the right... - All right, all right. 558 00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:36,049 You made your point. 559 00:25:36,050 --> 00:25:37,983 Everyone loves your drawings. 560 00:25:37,984 --> 00:25:39,850 - You guys check out the food? - I'm not hungry. 561 00:25:39,851 --> 00:25:41,450 Okay. How about the cute guys? 562 00:25:41,451 --> 00:25:44,752 There's some right over there just about your age. 563 00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:51,420 He's here. 564 00:25:51,421 --> 00:25:53,954 Hmm. Yippee. 565 00:25:53,955 --> 00:25:57,021 Well, aren't you going to go over there? 566 00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,555 Are you crazy? 567 00:25:59,556 --> 00:26:02,522 Thanks for coming. 568 00:26:02,523 --> 00:26:05,024 Whatever. 569 00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:09,125 Where's the back room? 570 00:26:12,893 --> 00:26:15,459 Lindsay, this is David. 571 00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:17,626 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 572 00:26:17,627 --> 00:26:19,827 Whoo! Michael. 573 00:26:21,095 --> 00:26:23,094 Let's go check out the vagina sculptures first, 574 00:26:23,095 --> 00:26:25,629 get it over with. 575 00:26:30,464 --> 00:26:32,964 The famous artiste. 576 00:26:32,965 --> 00:26:34,130 Oh, did you see my stuff? 577 00:26:34,131 --> 00:26:35,664 No, I had to get a drink first. 578 00:26:35,665 --> 00:26:38,432 It's over there... 579 00:26:38,433 --> 00:26:41,000 In case you're interested. 580 00:26:57,604 --> 00:26:59,605 Psst. 581 00:27:01,072 --> 00:27:04,705 I think the artist has taken some liberties. 582 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,772 Oh, that's a perfect likeness. 583 00:27:06,773 --> 00:27:09,873 Come on, it was never that big. 584 00:27:09,874 --> 00:27:12,707 Hey, you haven't seen it in a long time. 585 00:27:12,708 --> 00:27:13,708 I haven't seen Gone with the Wind 586 00:27:13,709 --> 00:27:14,774 in a long time either, 587 00:27:14,775 --> 00:27:17,575 but I know it's still 3 1/2 hours. 588 00:27:17,576 --> 00:27:19,442 The Brian and Michael Show... 589 00:27:19,443 --> 00:27:21,076 Blah, blah, blah. 590 00:27:21,077 --> 00:27:25,377 Stuck in perpetual reruns. 591 00:27:25,378 --> 00:27:28,978 Is it always like that... Michael running after him? 592 00:27:28,979 --> 00:27:32,012 It's the greatest love story never told, trust me. 593 00:27:32,013 --> 00:27:33,813 What was your name? 594 00:27:33,814 --> 00:27:34,846 David. 595 00:27:34,847 --> 00:27:35,847 Melanie. 596 00:27:35,848 --> 00:27:37,447 Trust me, David, 597 00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:38,981 long after you're gone, he'll still have Michael... 598 00:27:38,982 --> 00:27:41,448 Brian's little acolyte, poor guy. 599 00:27:41,449 --> 00:27:42,915 Oh, but don't worry. Michael can wait forever. 600 00:27:42,916 --> 00:27:45,015 Brian'll never fuck him. Pardon my French. 601 00:27:45,016 --> 00:27:47,415 By the way, I heard you hit on David last night. 602 00:27:48,684 --> 00:27:49,984 I couldn't have been that high. 603 00:27:49,985 --> 00:27:52,884 You were. And you did. 604 00:27:52,885 --> 00:27:54,417 I was testing him. 605 00:27:54,418 --> 00:27:56,585 I wanted to see if he'd drop you the first chance he got. 606 00:27:56,586 --> 00:27:59,086 Oh, yeah, right. 607 00:27:59,087 --> 00:28:02,053 Aren't I always looking out for you? 608 00:28:02,054 --> 00:28:04,587 You're just jealous because somebody finally thinks 609 00:28:04,588 --> 00:28:07,854 I'm hot or something. 610 00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:09,855 You are hot or something. 611 00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:12,055 I've been telling you that since you were 14. 612 00:28:12,056 --> 00:28:15,024 But you won't believe me. 613 00:28:18,458 --> 00:28:21,992 So I suppose I just keep him company while Michael waits. 614 00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:22,959 Oh... 615 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,726 Oh, shit! 616 00:28:24,727 --> 00:28:28,360 - Oh, you're with Michael. - Yeah. 617 00:28:28,361 --> 00:28:30,027 Um, oh, Jesus, 618 00:28:30,028 --> 00:28:31,461 I, um... I'm... I'm sorry. 619 00:28:31,462 --> 00:28:32,828 I... I didn't mean that. I... I mean... 620 00:28:32,829 --> 00:28:34,961 Well, I mean, Brian's the one 621 00:28:34,962 --> 00:28:36,629 that's always showing up with some new guy, 622 00:28:36,630 --> 00:28:38,595 so I just assumed that, um... 623 00:28:38,596 --> 00:28:40,029 Don't worry about it. 624 00:28:40,030 --> 00:28:41,830 Well, you know that... 625 00:28:41,831 --> 00:28:43,897 They love each other as friends, but that's it. 626 00:28:43,898 --> 00:28:45,497 That's really... That's all it is. 627 00:28:45,498 --> 00:28:46,797 Really? 628 00:28:46,798 --> 00:28:48,798 It's not like I didn't know. 629 00:28:48,799 --> 00:28:51,533 Do you want a shrimp ball? 630 00:28:51,534 --> 00:28:53,599 No. 631 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,668 Thanks. 632 00:29:09,538 --> 00:29:13,738 Now, that's what I call a piece... 633 00:29:13,739 --> 00:29:14,905 Of art. 634 00:29:16,506 --> 00:29:18,640 I've always admired creative people. 635 00:29:18,641 --> 00:29:21,873 You're pretty creative yourself there, missy. 636 00:29:21,874 --> 00:29:25,475 Not me. 637 00:29:25,476 --> 00:29:28,341 But Michael... He's got a gift. 638 00:29:28,342 --> 00:29:29,942 I didn't know he could draw. 639 00:29:29,943 --> 00:29:31,676 Oh, he can't. 640 00:29:31,677 --> 00:29:33,809 I bought him tracing paper when he was a kid 641 00:29:33,810 --> 00:29:35,544 so he could copy his comic books. 642 00:29:35,545 --> 00:29:37,710 His Spider-man always ended up 643 00:29:37,711 --> 00:29:39,945 looking more like Little Orphan Annie. 644 00:29:39,946 --> 00:29:42,579 Well, what's his talent? 645 00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:45,712 Well, it's nothing he'd be famous for. 646 00:29:45,713 --> 00:29:48,547 You won't ever see his paintings 647 00:29:48,548 --> 00:29:49,713 hanging in an art gallery 648 00:29:49,714 --> 00:29:54,515 or hear him playing at Carnegie Hall. 649 00:29:54,516 --> 00:29:57,416 But when it comes to taking care of people, 650 00:29:57,417 --> 00:30:01,317 knowing what you need better even than you do, 651 00:30:01,318 --> 00:30:04,352 he's a fucking Picasso. 652 00:30:36,860 --> 00:30:38,693 Beautiful light and shadow. 653 00:30:38,694 --> 00:30:40,594 Very... 654 00:30:40,595 --> 00:30:42,861 Haunting. 655 00:30:42,862 --> 00:30:45,495 The photographer has a great eye. 656 00:30:45,496 --> 00:30:47,362 Strong... 657 00:30:47,363 --> 00:30:49,462 Composition. 658 00:30:49,463 --> 00:30:50,863 You can't stay. You have to leave. 659 00:30:50,864 --> 00:30:52,697 Now, Justin, don't be mean. 660 00:30:52,698 --> 00:30:54,363 I've kept my end of the bargain. 661 00:30:54,364 --> 00:30:57,364 Now, I would like to see my son's work. 662 00:30:57,365 --> 00:30:59,566 I won't embarrass you, I promise. 663 00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:01,599 Justin, is this your mother? 664 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,333 Hi, I'm Jennifer. 665 00:31:03,334 --> 00:31:04,867 - Melanie. - Lindsay. 666 00:31:04,868 --> 00:31:07,667 You know, your son's remarkably talented. 667 00:31:07,668 --> 00:31:09,301 You should be very proud. 668 00:31:09,302 --> 00:31:12,468 Well, thank you. I am. 669 00:31:12,469 --> 00:31:15,436 And what a beautiful baby. 670 00:31:15,437 --> 00:31:16,603 His name's Gus. 671 00:31:16,604 --> 00:31:18,304 Actually, Justin's the one who named him. 672 00:31:18,305 --> 00:31:19,671 Really? 673 00:31:19,672 --> 00:31:21,237 Well, that was his teddy bear's name. 674 00:31:21,238 --> 00:31:24,371 - Aw! - Aw, a teddy bear. 675 00:31:24,372 --> 00:31:25,405 Mom. 676 00:31:25,406 --> 00:31:27,806 Um, are you the mother? 677 00:31:27,807 --> 00:31:31,407 Uh, yes, but we're raising him together. 678 00:31:31,408 --> 00:31:33,174 Well, that's wonderful. 679 00:31:33,175 --> 00:31:35,608 I've never met lesbian mothers before. 680 00:31:35,609 --> 00:31:38,608 I mean, I... I read about you... them 681 00:31:38,609 --> 00:31:40,442 in the papers all the time. 682 00:31:40,443 --> 00:31:42,676 Seems like there's always some judge in Alabama 683 00:31:42,677 --> 00:31:43,743 trying to take our kids away. 684 00:31:43,744 --> 00:31:45,443 That's why I married a lawyer. 685 00:31:49,545 --> 00:31:51,312 Have you seen the art? 686 00:31:51,313 --> 00:31:52,645 Not yet. 687 00:31:52,646 --> 00:31:55,847 Where's your stuff, honey? 688 00:31:59,415 --> 00:32:02,583 She came. That's huge. 689 00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:07,849 Tremendous energy. 690 00:32:07,850 --> 00:32:11,585 It really comes right out at you. 691 00:32:13,319 --> 00:32:15,551 Roger... 692 00:32:15,552 --> 00:32:18,552 I think I'm ready. 693 00:32:18,553 --> 00:32:21,852 I promised to play the piano. 694 00:32:21,853 --> 00:32:23,353 You're just volunteering. 695 00:32:23,354 --> 00:32:26,188 You're right. Fuck 'em! 696 00:33:07,732 --> 00:33:11,167 Who's that guy you drew? 697 00:34:04,614 --> 00:34:06,846 - Oh, sorry! - That's all right. 698 00:34:43,490 --> 00:34:45,823 - Ouch! - I'm sorry. 699 00:34:45,824 --> 00:34:47,924 It's okay. 700 00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,359 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 701 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,026 - What? - No, I... I can't. 702 00:34:58,027 --> 00:35:01,027 What is it? Is something wrong? 703 00:35:01,028 --> 00:35:02,361 It just won't work. 704 00:35:02,362 --> 00:35:05,395 I thought I could do this. I really did. 705 00:35:05,396 --> 00:35:07,862 I mean, you are so nice 706 00:35:07,863 --> 00:35:10,862 and smart and talented. 707 00:35:10,863 --> 00:35:13,030 And you play the piano beautifully. 708 00:35:13,031 --> 00:35:15,063 But? 709 00:35:15,064 --> 00:35:16,531 Well... 710 00:35:16,532 --> 00:35:20,132 Go on, say it. 711 00:35:20,133 --> 00:35:21,899 You're just not my type. 712 00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:25,267 "Type"? 713 00:35:25,268 --> 00:35:28,567 Are you serious? 714 00:35:28,568 --> 00:35:31,268 I don't believe this. After all that? 715 00:35:31,269 --> 00:35:34,269 I thought you didn't want sex to be everything. 716 00:35:34,270 --> 00:35:36,236 Yeah, but... 717 00:35:36,237 --> 00:35:39,905 I'd like it to be something. 718 00:35:42,806 --> 00:35:45,173 You're just like all the others. 719 00:35:49,807 --> 00:35:52,274 Where's my sock? 720 00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:55,274 Look, it's my fault. I admit it. 721 00:35:55,275 --> 00:35:57,341 I mean, I... I don't know what the hell's wrong with me. 722 00:35:57,342 --> 00:35:59,275 I mean, you're a catch. 723 00:35:59,276 --> 00:36:02,876 Any straight woman would find you incredibly attractive. 724 00:36:02,877 --> 00:36:05,010 Oh, is that supposed to make me feel better? 725 00:36:05,011 --> 00:36:06,410 Fuck you. 726 00:36:06,411 --> 00:36:09,745 Look, I know we share all the important things... 727 00:36:09,746 --> 00:36:12,245 Music, a sense of humor. 728 00:36:12,246 --> 00:36:15,013 This would be a totally appropriate relationship for me. 729 00:36:15,014 --> 00:36:18,213 The only problem is is that sex isn't appropriate. 730 00:36:18,214 --> 00:36:21,247 You know, I was wrong. 731 00:36:21,248 --> 00:36:24,449 You're not like all the others. You're worse... 732 00:36:24,450 --> 00:36:26,382 Because you think knowing Sesto's aria 733 00:36:26,383 --> 00:36:29,049 from Clemenza Di Tito somehow makes you better. 734 00:36:29,050 --> 00:36:30,483 Well, let me tell you, 735 00:36:30,484 --> 00:36:32,384 you're nothing but a pretentious, 736 00:36:32,385 --> 00:36:34,350 self-involved, boring asshole 737 00:36:34,351 --> 00:36:36,151 who's still hanging around with younger guys 738 00:36:36,152 --> 00:36:39,219 who don't want you and never will. 739 00:36:39,220 --> 00:36:41,920 You're pathetic. 740 00:36:41,921 --> 00:36:44,086 And what about you? 741 00:36:44,087 --> 00:36:47,388 You know, after you conduct your 501st tribute 742 00:36:47,389 --> 00:36:50,288 to Sondheim, you might try going to a gym. 743 00:36:50,289 --> 00:36:51,888 You know, get on a treadmill 744 00:36:51,889 --> 00:36:53,489 for once in your life, would you? 745 00:36:53,490 --> 00:36:58,024 And do something about your breath! 746 00:36:58,025 --> 00:37:00,058 Listen... 747 00:37:04,326 --> 00:37:06,927 I don't suppose we could still be friends. 748 00:37:28,933 --> 00:37:31,299 So I thought, okay, he's having... 749 00:37:31,300 --> 00:37:33,266 Experiences. 750 00:37:33,267 --> 00:37:36,033 But with boys his own age. 751 00:37:36,034 --> 00:37:38,167 This man... 752 00:37:38,168 --> 00:37:39,468 He must be in his 30s! 753 00:37:39,469 --> 00:37:41,235 Well, not yet, but I'll be happy 754 00:37:41,236 --> 00:37:42,702 to tell him you thought so. 755 00:37:42,703 --> 00:37:44,302 Well, it's not right. 756 00:37:44,303 --> 00:37:45,902 It happens. 757 00:37:45,903 --> 00:37:48,971 If his father finds out... 758 00:37:50,438 --> 00:37:53,737 Tell me about him... This person. 759 00:37:53,738 --> 00:37:54,805 I have to know. 760 00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:58,739 Brian Kinney... 761 00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:01,841 God's gift to gay P.A. 762 00:38:03,308 --> 00:38:05,274 They all want Brian. 763 00:38:05,275 --> 00:38:07,675 But the good news is no one can have him. 764 00:38:07,676 --> 00:38:10,442 He screws them, breaks their heart, and they wise up... 765 00:38:10,443 --> 00:38:14,010 Well, most of them anyway. 766 00:38:17,178 --> 00:38:20,212 So, this, uh... 767 00:38:20,213 --> 00:38:22,912 Brian Kinney... 768 00:38:22,913 --> 00:38:25,246 He's going to hurt my son. 769 00:38:25,247 --> 00:38:27,013 What do I do? 770 00:38:27,014 --> 00:38:28,314 Nothing. 771 00:38:28,315 --> 00:38:31,247 There's nothing you can do without making it worse. 772 00:38:31,248 --> 00:38:33,048 He's only 17. 773 00:38:33,049 --> 00:38:36,949 How old were you the first time? 774 00:38:36,950 --> 00:38:39,083 16. 775 00:38:39,084 --> 00:38:41,984 15. 776 00:38:45,185 --> 00:38:48,052 Anyway, if it makes you feel any better, 777 00:38:48,053 --> 00:38:50,419 I've known Brian since he was 14. 778 00:38:50,420 --> 00:38:52,286 He hasn't changed much. 779 00:38:52,287 --> 00:38:55,287 In fact, I'd say he and Justin are pretty evenly matched. 780 00:38:57,989 --> 00:39:00,288 I don't know if I can be so accepting. 781 00:39:00,289 --> 00:39:01,922 Honey... 782 00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:04,690 Jennifer... 783 00:39:04,691 --> 00:39:06,823 You don't have too much choice. 784 00:39:06,824 --> 00:39:09,257 All you can do is hope that they'll be careful 785 00:39:09,258 --> 00:39:13,192 and that they remember your phone number. 786 00:39:16,227 --> 00:39:18,026 Ugh. 787 00:39:18,027 --> 00:39:19,126 Here. 788 00:39:19,127 --> 00:39:20,993 Don't you dare. 789 00:39:20,994 --> 00:39:22,260 This is on me. 790 00:39:22,261 --> 00:39:24,228 Thanks. 791 00:39:24,229 --> 00:39:26,895 Oh, here... 792 00:39:26,896 --> 00:39:29,263 Give him what he needs. 793 00:39:45,634 --> 00:39:49,300 ♪ he's a hunk of love ♪ 794 00:39:49,301 --> 00:39:50,901 Admit it... 795 00:39:50,902 --> 00:39:52,869 You missed all this. 796 00:39:52,870 --> 00:39:54,768 The rampant narcissism, 797 00:39:54,769 --> 00:39:57,302 the sleaze, the drug use? 798 00:39:57,303 --> 00:39:59,170 I don't think so. 799 00:39:59,171 --> 00:40:01,004 So why'd you come back? 800 00:40:01,005 --> 00:40:03,872 When I figure it out, I'll let you know. 801 00:40:03,873 --> 00:40:06,938 Oh, look, it's the cast of Zoom. 802 00:40:06,939 --> 00:40:08,239 We're celebrating. 803 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:09,873 Justin sold some of his art today. 804 00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:11,973 The one of you, naked. 805 00:40:11,974 --> 00:40:13,740 Who'd buy that? 806 00:40:13,741 --> 00:40:16,708 Probably some desperate queen who's always pined for you. 807 00:40:16,709 --> 00:40:19,775 Oh, Ted, how thoughtful. 808 00:40:21,643 --> 00:40:27,344 Oh, my God. I used to love this song. 809 00:40:27,345 --> 00:40:29,644 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 810 00:40:29,645 --> 00:40:31,178 Then let's dance. 811 00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:35,012 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 812 00:40:35,013 --> 00:40:39,013 I got to pee. 813 00:40:39,014 --> 00:40:42,014 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 814 00:40:42,015 --> 00:40:44,581 ♪ you're the star ♪ 815 00:40:44,582 --> 00:40:46,883 ♪ it's who you are ♪ 816 00:40:46,884 --> 00:40:48,682 Okay, Dr. Feelgood. 817 00:40:48,683 --> 00:40:51,083 Let me see you shake your groove thang. 818 00:40:51,084 --> 00:40:53,185 Come on. 819 00:40:58,653 --> 00:41:00,319 Ooh, he can dance. 820 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,152 He's gay after all. 821 00:41:02,153 --> 00:41:05,320 ♪ Everybody knows your name ♪ 822 00:41:05,321 --> 00:41:08,754 ♪ they want to get close to that flame ♪ 823 00:41:08,755 --> 00:41:12,289 ♪ you can see it on every face ♪ 824 00:41:12,290 --> 00:41:15,023 Anybody ever tell you you're a bad influence? 825 00:41:15,024 --> 00:41:16,589 You are. 826 00:41:16,590 --> 00:41:21,024 ♪ The DJ plays your favorite song ♪ 827 00:41:21,025 --> 00:41:24,758 ♪ everyone wants to sing along ♪ 828 00:41:24,759 --> 00:41:28,026 ♪ it's a feeling you can't fight ♪ 829 00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:32,262 ♪ 'cause you're the star tonight ♪ 830 00:41:55,967 --> 00:41:57,600 Hi. 831 00:41:57,601 --> 00:41:59,501 How are you doing? 832 00:41:59,502 --> 00:42:01,568 Better... 833 00:42:01,569 --> 00:42:04,769 No thanks to you. 834 00:42:04,770 --> 00:42:06,969 I never really knew for sure what happened that night. 835 00:42:06,970 --> 00:42:08,270 I figured you came out of it okay. 836 00:42:08,271 --> 00:42:09,904 I kept looking in the papers. 837 00:42:09,905 --> 00:42:13,037 Gee, that's really thoughtful. 838 00:42:13,038 --> 00:42:16,472 I, uh... 839 00:42:16,473 --> 00:42:17,605 Waited on the corner 840 00:42:17,606 --> 00:42:20,940 after I called the paramedics, to make sure they came. 841 00:42:20,941 --> 00:42:25,041 You mean you called 911? 842 00:42:25,042 --> 00:42:27,542 I didn't want to stick around. 843 00:42:27,543 --> 00:42:29,675 I was afraid... You know, the drugs and shit. 844 00:42:29,676 --> 00:42:31,042 Right. 845 00:42:31,043 --> 00:42:34,877 I mean, you took so much, I was like, "whoa." 846 00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:40,512 Anyway, I'm glad you're okay. 847 00:42:41,946 --> 00:42:44,779 Well, uh... 848 00:42:44,780 --> 00:42:47,647 Maybe we could get together again some time... 849 00:42:47,648 --> 00:42:49,180 I mean, without the paramedics. 850 00:42:51,181 --> 00:42:52,748 There you are. 851 00:42:52,749 --> 00:42:54,681 What's taking you so long? 852 00:42:54,682 --> 00:42:57,482 Just talking to some guy. 853 00:42:57,483 --> 00:43:00,650 What's your name again? 854 00:43:00,651 --> 00:43:01,716 Ted. 855 00:43:01,717 --> 00:43:04,651 Ted, right. 856 00:43:04,652 --> 00:43:07,084 Yeah, I'll see you later. 857 00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:11,152 See you. 858 00:43:20,589 --> 00:43:21,755 Hey, how's it going? 859 00:43:21,756 --> 00:43:23,489 - No! - Hi. 860 00:43:23,490 --> 00:43:25,689 Hi, how are you? 861 00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:27,156 Hi. 862 00:43:27,157 --> 00:43:29,157 Hey, how are... 863 00:43:29,158 --> 00:43:32,025 Hey, how's it going? 864 00:43:32,026 --> 00:43:33,125 It's a great little... 865 00:43:33,126 --> 00:43:36,060 Ow! 866 00:43:38,527 --> 00:43:39,893 How's it going? 867 00:43:39,894 --> 00:43:42,728 You two are together... That's terrific. 868 00:43:45,629 --> 00:43:48,828 Oh, my God, you did it in the little boys' room. 869 00:43:48,829 --> 00:43:50,195 Nope. 870 00:43:50,196 --> 00:43:51,963 You got somebody's phone number? 871 00:43:51,964 --> 00:43:55,998 I was rejected by everybody. 872 00:43:58,966 --> 00:44:00,965 It's good to be back! 873 00:44:02,967 --> 00:44:04,766 Mwah. 874 00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:09,034 - Let's get you a cocktail. - Okay. 875 00:44:13,469 --> 00:44:17,503 ♪ just give me one more chance ♪ 876 00:44:17,504 --> 00:44:21,037 ♪ if you're still in doubt ♪ 877 00:44:21,038 --> 00:44:23,537 ♪ baby, walk away ♪ 878 00:44:23,538 --> 00:44:28,772 ♪ one more dance if we work it out ♪ 879 00:44:28,773 --> 00:44:32,373 ♪ and promise you'll stay with me ♪ 880 00:44:36,776 --> 00:44:38,641 Hey, hot stuff, you want to dance? 881 00:44:38,642 --> 00:44:40,509 I don't think so. 882 00:44:40,510 --> 00:44:42,976 Well, what do you want to do? 883 00:44:42,977 --> 00:44:46,011 Take you home. 884 00:44:49,745 --> 00:44:53,679 ♪ Just give me one more chance ♪ 885 00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,379 ♪ if you're still in doubt ♪ 886 00:44:57,380 --> 00:44:59,614 ♪ baby, walk away ♪ 887 00:44:59,615 --> 00:45:05,015 ♪ one more dance if we work it out ♪ 888 00:45:05,016 --> 00:45:06,415 ♪ and promise you'll stay ♪ 889 00:45:08,750 --> 00:45:10,783 Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa! 890 00:45:15,586 --> 00:45:19,053 Captain Astro. 891 00:45:46,660 --> 00:45:49,893 Who are you thinking about? 892 00:45:49,894 --> 00:45:52,760 What? 893 00:45:52,761 --> 00:45:55,403 When you close your eyes, who are you thinking about? 894 00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:02,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 60489

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.