All language subtitles for Now.Apocalypse.S01E01

I've always had a simultaneous
fear of,

and attraction toward,
the unknown.

And in these fucking
dark and scary times,

it's easy to adopt a "What
difference does it make?" attitude.

So I often find myself
in these situations

where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.

And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.

- No!
- It's not like I'm brave

or anything, it's more
reckless stupidity,

an adrenaline fix,

throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.

No!

Help me!

Harder!
Harder!

Dave?

Oh, shit!

My husband's home!

Oh, shit.

What should I do?

Dave, where are you?!

In here, babe.

So yeah, I realized that one day

these crazy adventures
will probably get me

into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.

But it's almost like
I can't help myself.

[ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ]

I do shit sometimes and
I really don't know why.

To avoid boredom, I guess.

To feel alive.

Just for the fucking fuck of it.

♪ Give it away now, girl

♪ Can't hold down tonight

Ah.

Sorry, dude.

Whatever.

Hey, Severine.

I thought you were
sleeping out tonight.

Yeah, uh, I'm not.

Anyhoo, please, continue.

Goodnight, Ulysses.

Goodnight.

Night, dude.

So, Ford and I have
a sort of strange relationship.

We've been roommates
since college

and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.

I love him unconditionally

and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule

in his body, we'd
probably be married,

but Ford's that truly
rare Kinsey zero

in contrast to my
ever oscillating four,

which means I'm not
so totally queer

that I haven't rubbed out a
few fantasizing about Severine.

Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,

which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.

It's definitely not a vlog.

It's more of a place to
download the random shit

that's in my head to keep it
from like [ lips pop ] exploding.

Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,

but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered

that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing

I could do with my life.

And Ford is that sad LA cliché,

an aspiring screenwriter.

But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.

It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.

And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,

all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,

so lacking a better outlet,

here I am talking to
myself in the dark.

But also, there's
something weird going on

that I feel I need to document.

I've been having this nightmare,

the same one over and over,

two or three times a
week for the past month.

No!

And it's
so vivid and freakishly real

that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like

it's not just a dream,

like it's trying to
tell me something.

Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?

Carly, I'm being serious.

Don't you ever get
bizarre premonitions?

- No. -Well,
I do and I'm a double Scorpio.

It's the most psychic
of all the signs.

And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.

It's like we're teetering on
the brink of total annihilation.

Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now

in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.

But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?

- Gabriel.
- Mm.

Yeah. We were supposed to hang
out last night, but...

Oh, let me guess, he flaked.

Hey, look, this guy's
a gnarly 300-pound catfish.

That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.

Look, check it out.

- Oh. He is pretty.
- Right?

I know it sounds hokey, but I just get
this vibe that we're destined to be.

Okay, double Scorpio.

Honestly, just looking at
him makes me dizzy and hard.

You know, when I
first met Jethro,

seeing him sneeze
would make me cum,

but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,

Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers...

Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.

What?

Teach me!

Is that something you
got from a bad porno?

Oh, come on, baby!

Yeah, teach me how
to drive you wild!

Yes, baby!

Make me a student!

I'm a vessel for your pleasure!

Yeah!

Ah, teach me, baby!

- Come on, yeah!
- Can you just slow down

a little bit, please?!

Teach me, baby!
Teach me!

- Oh, shit.
- And it gets worse.

He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.

But meditating
gives you anxiety.

Yeah, I know.

It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,

is just a blank
void of nothingness.

Is it the catfish?

Oh, shit, really?
What'd he say?

That he wants to meet tonight.

Okay, well, my advice,
set the bar low.

Very low.

♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪

♪ Oh, and I won't, and I
won't, and I won't be ashamed ♪

♪ Sanctify my sins
when I pray ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh

- ♪ When I pray
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ You'll find redemption

Hey.

How's the script coming?

I've seen you here before.

Oh.

It's going great.

You a writer too?

No.

Actually, I'm a producer.

Oh, no shit.
Cool.

You should send me
one of your scripts.

- For real?
- Yes.

You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.

Email me.

Oh, wow.

Okay, Mr. Powers.

Please. Barnabas.

Ford.
Ford Halstead.

Great to meet you, Ford.

Well, I'll let you
get back to work.

Cool!
I'll email you.

Looking forward to it.

They keep fucking me.

I tell them no,

but they keep fucking me.

They keep fucking me!

Fucking me!

And they won't stop.

Please, make them stop.

Make them stop.

Severine Bordeaux.

Hello, Severine.

Lars.
Klaus.

Looks like I didn't
miss anything.

Yes, the man is
running late as usual.

I think they keep us waiting on
purpose, to build anticipation.

And to make our work seem even
more highly classified than it is.

Actually, I heard
this new assignment

is a genuine priority level one.

Really?

Who told you this?

If I revealed my sources,
I'd have to kill you.

I don't know, Uly.

Sometimes a dream
is just a dream.

Yeah, but then, but then
sometimes, sometimes it's more.

Dude, do you remember that time you were
so convinced an earthquake was coming?

You went out, you
bought a bunch of soup

and water and batteries?

This is different than that.

Is it?

Anyway, huh, isn't it
awesome what happened today?

What?

That producer gave
me his business card.

Oh, right.

So is he-is he for real?

What do you mean?

As in does he have credits?

That, that aren't porn.

Yeah. I already checked.

Just be careful, okay?
'Cause he could be a serial killer or...

Okay, paranoid.

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do

Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind

on, on the rent again,
this month.

Ah, no big.
I got it.

I know, I just,
I don't wanna be a scab.

Hey, I said don't
worry about it.

It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.

Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.

Seriously, bro, man,
I'm just so glad

we're out here together.

You and me, man,
living the dream!

You know what I mean?

Know what?

Why don't we cut the bullshit

and go over into those bushes
over there and fuck?

You all right?
Yeah.

Yup.

You stoned or something?

- You ready to head back down?
- Yeah, yeah.

- All right.
- Mm-hm.

I'll race you to the bottom.

Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.

[ "Gosh" by Jamie xx ]

You home already?
I thought you had a coffee date.

I did. I barely sat down and the
guy asked me if I would rim him.

- Oh.
- Hmm.

What are you doing?

Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.

I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex

that they don't even
make an effort anymore.

Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,

then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.

Maybe he was foreign?

I've just encountered
a lot of assholes on there.

It's a numbers game.

I mean, you have a
lot of asshole dick,

but you also have dick
of every other kind too.

Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.

Exactly.

I don't know, I might delete it.

Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.

That is something
that old people say

because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go

and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.

Let me see your profile.

Come here.

You look like you're
hosting a reality show

called Extreme Brunch,
or something.

Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?

Like, like showing
less personality?

Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?

Yeah, incredible.

Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months

and things are already
starting to happen for me.

So, Sev.

Mm-hmm?

We've been seeing each
other a while now

and I was wondering if...

it was cool that
I called you my girlfriend.

You can call me
whatever you want.

I'm not precious
about the terminology.

Okay, so uh, we're like,
exclusive, then?

Ford, we've discussed this.

You know I believe that monogamy

is a form of social control,

which is contrary to our nature.

What?

For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian

hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,

food, childcare,
sexual partners.

They were very promiscuous

and it strengthened
their relationships,

but then agriculture came along

and people became obsessed

with ownership and
private property.

Oh, when was that?

About 10,000 years ago.

Oh.

Is this uh...

Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?

I know you're a
rocket scientist and...

Astrobiological theorist.

And no, Ford,

I actually think
you're extraordinary.

Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.

Thanks.

It's so magnificent, in fact,

I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.

Modern relationships don't last

because we expect too
much of our partners.

They need to fulfill
us emotionally,

satisfy us sexually.

That's a lot to
ask of one person.

Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.

We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.

- Uh, what?
- Nothing.

If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,

if you, you know, um,
if you want to give

the open relationship
thing a try,

I'm down.

Really?

You're not just saying
that to make me happy?

You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.

I mean it.

Okay, now pretend
like you're laughing

at a cute guy over
there being funny.

But why am I wearing a bikini
in the living room?

No one is thinking
about that, Amber.

This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.

Oh, my God, okay,

he's not, he's not like,
that funny.

- He's amusing.
- Okay.

He's mildly amusing.

Perfect.

I look mean.

No, you look confused.

You look hot and confused.

That's the ideal combination.

What?

Oh, sorry.
Hey.

Oh, my God, are you watching it?

- Watching what?
- Murderous Minds.

I told you, my
episode's on tonight.

Oh, uh, shit!

Oh, my God, that's right, babe!

I totally forgot!

That's so exciting!

Fuck, Carly!

Hope you didn't miss me.

I've gotta set the DVR.

- What's happening now?
- What do you mean?

On the show, Jesus!

Um, it, it looks like two cops

are investigating
like, a crime scene.

Okay, shit, you're just in time.
It's my scene.

What's happening now?

They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.

Yes!

Was that you?

Uh yeah,
what, couldn't you tell?

No, you were amazing.

Ah, I'm sure.

Was I?

Mm-hm.

Yeah, you, you were great,
Jethro.

Oh, hey, Amber's there!
Amber!

- She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.

And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.

14 fucking million
people watch that show.

It's like I'm always
telling you, Carly,

it's about connecting the dots

and maintaining
a positive attitude.

Which is why I really wish
you'd come with me

to meditation class tonight.

Yeah, I know, babe,
but I told you,

I need to work on my
scene for class tomorrow.

Yeah, well, Car,
the road to failure is paved with excuses.

Hey, babe, can we
continue this later?

Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.

I'm almost to work anyway. Just wanted
to share my moment of glory with ya.

You were awesome, babe.

Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.

Great.
Okay, see ya.

- Hey. -Gabriel is 43
fucking minutes late.

Like I said, low bar.

What should I do now?
Should I leave?

Are you kidding? You lost all
your dignity like, 28 minutes ago.

I know.
Am I tragic?

Don't, don't answer that.

I was really hoping
to, you know,

finally solve the
mystery of, oh, shit.

- What? Is he there?
- Yeah.

- I'll call you back.
- Okay, bye!

Ulysses.
Oh, man, I am so sorry.

You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,

but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,

- and, and my phone died...
- It's, it's okay, it's okay...

Don't worry about it.

Seriously though, I'm
big on first impressions

and I feel so fucking bad.

Well, you're here now, right?

That's, that's all that matters.

Yeah.

[ "Diamond Veins" by French 79 ]

♪ Blood felt, joy of life

Whoa.

Holy crap, baby.

Hey, Smokey.
You miss me?

Sure did.

I want to drink you
up like a piña colada.

Good, because I've
been a really bad girl.

Ooh!

Ah!

I really want to get
to know you, the real you.

Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,

finger myself or something?

Could we just talk first?

Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?

Well, I uh, I have always wanted
a job I could do lying down.

Hm.

Show me!

Show me, you deviant
little whore.

You're so pitiful and weak!

Just looking at
you makes me sick.

Get on your knees!

Damn. I so wish I hadn't scheduled
band practice for tonight.

Ah, it, it's cool.

It's just that a
couple of weeks ago,

I, I declared this
embargo on hookups.

I mean, you know
they're fun, obviously,

but I always just feel,
well, gross and pagan after.

Yeah, no, uh,
I know what you mean.

So I, I made sure to make plans

so that no matter
how hot you were,

I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.

No, it's, it's okay,
I totally get it.

We can hang out soon
again, though, right?

Definitely.

- Oh, shit!
- What? What?

I fucking forgot
to charge my phone!

I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.

That sucks.

I guess we'll jus-
we'll just have to hang out

again soon...

Come on.

No, wait.

What?

I'm not blowing this, am I?

What do you, What do you mean?

Well, I'm gonna see
you again, right?

I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?

No, no, no, you're
not fucking this up.

Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.

Handjobs only, though?

What?

For tonight, just handjobs?

And save the rest for later?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, we need to hurry, though,

'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?

Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?

Mm-hm.
Can you wiggle them?

Like this, you mean?

Yeah, keep wiggling.
Keep wiggling.

Worm, you know
you need to ask me

more respectfully than that.

Please.
Please wiggle your toes for me.

Much better.

Hell yeah.

Keep wiggling.

More, more wiggle.

Oh, God.

- Oh!
- God!

Oh, oh, oh fuck!

- Oh!
- Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!

Fuck.

What can I do for you, Mistress?

I'm here to please you.

I'll do anything you want.

How about you do
30 naked pushups?

Would that make Mistress happy?

To be honest, no.

I just-I don't really care.

Well, what would
make you truly happy?

I'm here to serve you.

Really?

Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class

'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm gonna
pass on that one.

But you said you
would do anything.

Well, I know, but...

Well, okay, well,
what if I like,

take my top off while I do it?

Okay, sure.

Cool. Great.

Okay.

So, you're Anne,

and I'm Mary, okay?

Okay.

Do you feel as
awful as you look?

Why would you come here if all
you wanted to do was torment me?

Hey, you're good.

Hey!

Stay in character!

Next line.

Wow.

That was kind of intense.

Yeah.

Seriously, I mean what was that?

Was it, was it just me or
did, did it feel like

the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?

No, I felt it too.

I'm almost afraid
to see what happens

when we actually have sex.

Look, I, I realize
that we just met

and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,

but something strange
seems to be going on here.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it sort of-
it sort of feels like

- fate.
- Fate.

But I-got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.

Right, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay.

So uh, so when do I get
to see you next?

Well, whenever.
I mean, whenever you...

- How about tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's great.

Cool.

Oh, fuck.

Okay, shit.

Now I really got to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.

Holy fucking shit!

Ow!

Help me!

Please!

Please, help me!

No!

Oh, God!

No! No!

Oh, God, no!

No!

No!

Help me!

Please!

Help me!

[ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ]

♪ Give it away now, girl

♪ Can't hold