All language subtitles for Lovejoy S03e10 Kids

5,600...

5,600...

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a beautiful
18th-century ormolu bracket clock.

There is a reserve on this item
and we have not yet reached it.

5,700...

5,800...

Come along, now, this is a lovely piece

and this is a very disappointing figure.

Any advance on £5,800?

5,800 for the last time.

Any advance...
5,900 against you, Mr. Wendover.

£5,900...

- Sold. Lovejoy.
- (Gavel bangs)

Thank you. We'll take a short break.

If you'd like to move through
to the next room.

Thank you very much indeed.

You did well with that clock.

Birmingham Bertie.

The question I ask myself, Lovejoy,
is how are you gonna pay for it?

- I've a very philosophical response to that.
- Yes?

Mind your own business.

Charles Spencelayh,
born Chatham, Kent, 1865.

First exhibited
at the Royal Academy 1887.

I know.

The thing about Spencelayh,

the more detail in the picture,
the higher the price.

- I know.
- I'm very into Spencelayh, you see.

They don't come up very often
and I wouldn't want to miss this one.

- Know what I mean?
- I don't know.

Then I'll explain.

What will it cost to, erm...

- You know...
- Buy me off?

- Shh!
- Mr. Wooller, that's illegal.

- I know but how much would it cost?
- It's not the way I do business.

- Not what I heard.
- Get a hearing aid.

Can I have a little quiet,
ladies and gentlemen, please?

This is lot 143, which is a portrait
in the impressionist style,

French school, unsigned,

a delightful piece, in its original frame,

and it's always been with the family.

So who'll start me off at £1,000?

£1,000, 1,050, thank you.

1,100.

1,150.

I hear 1,200. Thank you. 1,250.

1,300. Yes.

1,350. Thank you.

1,400 anywhere?

- Susan.
- I've got to talk to you.

There's a painting coming up
I'm buying for someone.

- It's about Vicky.
- What about her?

- I can't talk in here.
- Can it wait a few minutes?

I'm talking about your daughter.

Well, what about her?

I think she...

I think she might have been kidnapped.

What?

Any advance on 1,750?

What do you mean,
she might have been kidnapped?

Well, she's vanished.

Susan, there's a bit of a difference
between vanished and kidnapped.

I had to get your attention, Lovejoy.

For all we know,
she might have been kidnapped.

She's not living at the flat
and she's not been at work for a week.

- How do you know?
- Because, unlike her father,

I keep in touch with her.

When I telephoned yesterday,
another girl answered the phone.

Apparently Vicky's let the flat to this girl
and gone off somewhere.

- Where?
- I don't know.

Moved in with someone else, this girl said.

Well, she's probably got fed up
of living on her own,

- something like that.
- Without telling me?

- Anything could've happened to her.
- Oh!

- I'll do something, just leave it with me.
- Oh, good.

Yes, great. Perfect.

I feel so much better
now that you're dealing with it.

Oh, Susan!

...at £7,550...

7,550 for the last time...

- (Gavel bangs)
- Sold. Wooller.

Lot 145. A landscape...

You know Vicky,
she's quite a sensible girl.

I suspect romance has entered
my daughter's life.

Why on earth couldn't she have
a romance in her own flat?

I don't know. There must be a reason.

Sooner or later
she'll call and explain it all.

Meanwhile, Susan expects you
to go and investigate.

Inspector Lovejoy to the rescue.

And also meanwhile,
my uncle has missed his Spencelayh.

Mm. I only wish that creep
from Birmingham hadn't got it.

We won't see another Spencelayh in a hurry.

We won't.

So the family will have to think of
another present.

Not easy for the 80th birthday
of a belted earl with a great fortune.

Any other ideas?

Lovejoy, any other ideas?

Ideas?

For Uncle Willy's present?

How about a seven and a half grand
gift token?

- We'll have to get him a Spencelayh.
- In ten days?

I'll get him one, Jane, I promise.

Do you know Michael Brightman?

Oh, that pompous idiot
who renounced his title?

- Mm.
- No, I don't.

He's just been made junior minister
for the environment.

Oh.

Can I borrow this paper?

Hardly your usual reading, is it?

Well, it's your paper.

It's probably the gardener's.

I only want this page.

I don't get it.

The painting above the mantelpiece, Eric.

Ah! (Laughs)

Right, yeah.

- It's that picture for that tart from...
- That very, very nice woman.

That's right,
that very, very nice woman, yeah.

So you think she sold the picture
to the MP bloke?

- No, he doesn't.
- No, I don't, Eric.

Stately homes usually have collections
of Old Masters, right, Eric?

Right. Well, Lord Caston, Brightman's dad,
was a bit of a Bohemian,

friend to artists and poets.

Well, he built up a collection
of modern masters.

And that's what this picture is?
A Mark Gertler?

Well, don't you find it odd
that Brightman buys a new Gertler

when Caston House has its own collection?

Lovejoy...

perhaps this one is genuine
and has been here all the time.

Perhaps the other one is a copy

and perhaps when you verified it
for your very, very nice friend,

well, just perhaps, erm...

Perhaps what, Tink?

Well, modern pictures are
notoriously difficult to...

- Oh, no, no, I did not make a mistake.
- Hang on.

I mean, I mean, maybe this MP's one
is a copy and...

Well, or maybe...

Maybe Gertler painted
the same subject twice.

- Lots of painters do that, don't they?
- They do but not Gertler.

You know what I've always thought was
rather strange about this.

The way the shop let your very nice friend
take the picture away on her signature.

She might just have waltzed off with it.

Yeah.

It was a shop in Rittlesford, wasn't it?

Yeah. It's closed down now, though.

I drove past the other day and there's
an estate agent's board above it.

(Tinker) To solve the mystery, your very
nice friend should be your next port of call.

- You've cut your hair.
- Mm. Do you like it?

Yeah. I do.

And you've lost weight.

You look great.

- I've been highly motivated.
- New fella?

You haven't come all this way
to see whether I've lost weight, have you?

I came to see the Gertler.
You've still got it?

- Oh, yes.
- You haven't sold it or anything?

No way. There have been times
when I've been short for cash

but there's something about that picture -
I'll never sell it.

So where is it, then?

I take it you have a buyer who wants it?

But you won't sell it.

Well, if I didn't sell it when I was desperate,
I wouldn't sell it now.

But it is nice to see you.

And you, Bonnie.

Oh, there you are. Who's this?

Andrew, yes, this is Lovejoy.

Lovejoy.
Oh, yeah, you and Bonnie used to be...

Friends. Still are.

Lovejoy knows someone
who might want the Mark Gertler.

- Really? How much?
- But I told him it wasn't for sale.

Right. Of course.
Bonnie really loves that picture.

- Yeah. I've got to be going.
- You won't have some tea?

- I've got to see my ex-wife.
- Tricky thing, exes.

That's what I hear.

Toy boys are out of fashion, Bonnie.

I know. I always was one step behind,
wasn't I?

Just look after yourself.

It's a fake.

But if you like a picture...

I mean, would you love it any less
if it turned out to be a copy?

If it was beautiful before you knew,
isn't it still beautiful?

Well, for one thing, you've been ripped off.

And that's not nice.

And another thing, all genuine works of art
have historical significance.

Fakes destroy that significance.

And that's not nice, either.

Hi. I recognize you from your photograph.

I'm Sarah, come on in.

I was just going to have a drink.
There you are.

Do sit down.

I know what you're going to ask me
and I have to tell you I don't know the answer.

- Where is my daughter?
- Right.

- Don't know or won't say?
- I really don't know.

Vicky specifically didn't tell me
so I could genuinely tell you and Susan

that I don't know.

- But you know what happened to her?
- Yes.

Well...

I don't think anything's
actually happened to her.

Oh, come on. You don't disappear
unless something happens.

- You're worried in case she's in trouble?
- Is she?

No. I'm sure she isn't.

But you'd know if she was?

Yes!

We're terribly close.
She tells me everything.

- Except where she's staying.
- Yes.

Mm.

- And what's this fella like?
- Which one?

The one she's run off with.

Come on, Sarah, I can vaguely remember
what it was like being your age.

Oh, I don't know.
I don't think you look that old.

In any case, older men are
so much more interesting.

They've had such interesting lives.
I know you have.

Well, when you speak to Vicky,
tell her to call her mother, will you?

I didn't say I was going to speak to her.

I know you didn't but you're going to,
aren't you?

(Susan) So who is this Sarah?

(Lovejoy) A friend of Vicky's.

A friend of hers that we don't know,

she's rented her flat to her
and you think that's all right?

- We can't know all her friends, Susan.
- You don't know any of them.

I don't think there's anything
to worry about.

Vicky's disappeared,
gone off with God knows who,

and there's nothing to worry about?

I'll bet Sarah was on the phone to Vicky
the minute I left.

Then why doesn't Vicky call me?

Well, she will, in her own time,
I'm sure she will,

- when she's ready to talk to us.
- So you're going to sit on your hands?

Susan, Vicky's a sensible girl.

You may not like it,
but she's old enough to do what she wants.

Well, I don't like it.

Gloria! Gloria!

Aha!

Lovejoy! My favorite rogue.

Mwah! Well, you look wonderful, as usual.

- Drop of the hard stuff?
- No, no, no.

I've got to keep my wits
about me around you, Gloria.

- What are you after?
- Don't be so suspicious.

When I get an unannounced visit
from an attractive younger man

I have every right to be suspicious.

Then I shall reward your perspicacity
with devastating frankness, my dear.

Are you still collecting Edward Lear parrots?

- Have you found a new one?
- I might have.

- Bill about?
- He's playing golf in Marbella.

Mm. It's always interesting
when men ask me where my husband is.

Not that interesting, Gloria.
Still got the Spencelayh?

Ah!

Am I still collecting parrots
and has Bill still got his Spencelayh?

Mm?

You want to exchange an Edward Lear parrot
for Bill's Spencelayh, right?

I wish I'd married a woman
as understanding as you, Gloria.

Oh, so do I.

Anyway, the answer is yes.

Yes, I would consider such a swap

but it had better be
before Bill gets back from Spain.

Right. I shall have that gin now.

Not a Spencelayh on the horizon, Lovejoy.

Never mind about that, now.
Find me an Edward Lear parrot.

- An Edward Lear parrot?
- An Edward Lear parrot?

An Edward Lear parrot.

- They're harder to find than a Spencelayh.
- Wendover's got one.

- He'd never sell it to you.
- Never say never, Tink.

- You've just got to persuade him.
- How do we do that?

Find something he wants.

You've been talking to Mrs. Simpson.

Just get me an Edward Lear parrot.

We find what Wendover wants,
exchange it for his Edward Lear parrot,

take the parrot to Mrs. Simpson,

she exchanges it
for her husband's Spencelayh...

Then we give the Spencelayh
to Lady Jane...

Who gives it to her uncle for his birthday.

Word perfect.

How are we supposed to know
what Wendover wants?

Use your imagination.
I can't do everything round here, can I?

Any news on the Gertler?

Bad news.

So your very, very nice lady friend's Gertler
is a copy.

- Yep.
- So, made a mistake then, Lovejoy.

No.

Oh, we forgot to ask him about Vicky.

- That's right.
- We did that on purpose, did we?

If he'd wanted us to know about Vicky,
he would've told us about Vicky.

God. Imagine this lot tramping through
your home every day.

It's not a home, Jane, it's a business.

Brightman's probably making
a fortune out of this lot.

You know, I resent a man with his money
driving around in a car that I paid for.

- You've paid for?
- Tax payer.

- Well?
- Looks like the real thing

but I'd love a closer look.

Be ready. OK.

Excuse me, would you be able to tell me
about this painting, please?

OK, madam.

It looks like an artist who was locally born
here. Can you tell me the name?

- Sorry, madam, I don't know.
- Oh, well, thank you, anyway.

- How was it?
- Nothing wrong with that.

- Are you sure?
- Course I'm sure.

I know you won't entertain the thought
but it is possible that you did...

No, no, no, I did not make a mistake, Jane.

- Blinded by other interests...
- That is the Gertler, Bonnie's is the fake.

That means you authenticated
the real painting.

- In which case, your paramour...
- Paramour? Janey, we're friends.

- We are friends.
- OK, your friend,

had the real painting at that point
but now it's here,

- so she must have a copy.
- Exactly.

So your friend must know more
than she's saying.

I'd like to speak to the people
who sold it to my friend.

- I'm going to the post, Mr. Rychards.
- Take the key, dear.

- Hello, Kay.
- Lovejoy.

Just going out, I'm afraid.
What can I do for you?

Place in Rittlesford's got your board on it.
Used to be an antiques shop.

Opening a shop, are you?
Kay'll get the details for you.

I want to get in touch
with the dealer who ran the shop.

- I thought you might have his address.
- That's confidential.

- I have some information for him.
- What would that be?

It's confidential, Mr. Rychards.

Then I'm afraid I can't disclose
his address.

Good day to you, Lovejoy.

Susan!

- Hello, Susan.
- I've heard from Vicky.

Hello, Lovejoy. That's great, Susan.

Is it? While you've been cruising around
the countryside with your...

Business partner?

Slow down, Susan.

Come along, sit down.

Now, Vicky's phoned you.
That is terrific, isn't it?

No, it's not.
She's moved into a new flat with a man.

Well, that's not the end of the world, is it?

At her age, you and I were...

This man is not her age.

What, is he a few years older?

So it's perfectly natural for a young girl
to be interested in an older man.

Is it? Well, this one is much older.

What is he, 30?

35?

- Is he older?
- He's your age, Lovejoy.

Ha!

The phone was ringing as I came in.

Susan would have a fit
if she knew Vicky was confiding in you.

Vicky feels that her mother
doesn't understand her.

Oh, and I will?

Touchingly misplaced confidence, I agree.

But who knows? Perhaps your erratic
Bohemian lifestyle

has equipped you to understand
your daughter

when she may have done
something foolish.

- As if I didn't feel guilty enough.
- Guilty? Why?

It's obvious, isn't it?

Over the years, I wasn't around that much,
so now she's found a father figure.

Perhaps that's what she needs right now.

Perhaps.

I know it seems almost tactless
to bring this up but...

Uncle Willy's Spencelayh.

- Because if we can't...
- We will find one.

I'll have to think of something else
bloody quick.

When have I let you down?

- Hello, you.
- Hi, Dad.

This is one of your trendy new haunts, then?

I like it.

You know you've got your mother
in a frenzy.

And she's driving me up the wall.

I'm not surprised.

I was a bit worried, too.

It would've been nice to have known
about your move.

- I don't have to ask your permission.
- I know

but it would've been nice to have known,
then we could've talked it over.

Yeah. We've never really had the chance
to talk anything else over, have we?

No. But your mother...

needs handling.

You know that, Vicky.

Cheers.

Here's to older men. She's dead worried
about that, you know.

- And you're not?
- I've got an open mind on it.

- Is he really my age?
- And what if he is, Dad?

Can't you imagine yourself
being with someone of my age?

- No.
- Sarah thinks you're very attractive.

Is that what this is about?
He's very attractive?

Well, yeah, that's part of it.

- David's...
- David.

- David Herbert.
- David Herbert.

He's just done so many things.

He's been all round the world.
He's in property, now.

Is he rich?

Yeah, he's rich.

So why couldn't we meet at your new flat?

Are you embarrassed or something?

I suppose I am a bit embarrassed, yeah.

It's upstairs. It's a penthouse.

A Chelsea Harbour penthouse.

He also owns a boat
in the South of France.

Boat in the South of France.

It might be nice
if we could all go down there.

Ooh, jolly! Give me a break, Vicky.

- As long as you're happy, hmm?
- I am happy, Dad.

I'm very, very happy.

He's not like anyone my age.

He's interesting...

He's a nice man
and he's lovely to me.

- Is he married?
- Yeah. He was married.

She died.

Just don't think he found anyone
that he really liked for a while.

How long have you known him?

Three months now.

Do I get to meet him?

He's here. He's here now.

How do you do?

Forgive me for not being here straightaway.

I supposed you waited to see
if I'd hit the roof.

No, not at all. I thought you'd want
some time alone with Vicky

and I thought she ought to
explain things for herself first.

Yeah, well, she has.

Here we are.

Yes.

Well, I'm sure I'm not
what you had in mind for her.

I didn't have anything in mind.

She tells me her mother is somewhat upset
at the difference in our ages.

- Oh, really?
- Yes, I know, I know.

I've got to be frank with you,
I never dreamed this would happen to me.

But these things either work or they don't.

- And this does work.
- We care for each other a great deal

and we've spent some time together
in the past few months

and we wanted try to live
together to see what happens

but obviously I want to be sure
how you feel about the situation.

Confused.

Well, I'd like to think
that we had your blessing.

I've never been asked for that before.

I want her to be happy.

I'd be very upset if she became unhappy.

So would I.

Drink?

- Hello, Kay.
- Hello, Eric. Come to buy me a drink?

Er, how did you know?

- Holy Grail's on on Saturday night.
- Gothic rock's not really my scene.

All right, then. Who'd you want
to go and see?

I thought we might have a Chinese,
then go back to my place and watch a video.

- Ooh, big spender!
- Ah, I think it's important

not to spend a lot of money
when you're starting a er... friendship.

It gives the girl the wrong impression.

What, that she might think
that you've got money?

- Well, I might have.
- And the Pope might be an Eskimo.

Listen, Kay, I need a favor.

- On Saturday night, you mean?
- (Laughs) No, now.

I need to know who rented
the antiques shop over in Rittlesford.

- Ask Mr. Rychards.
- Well, Lovejoy already has.

That's why you're taking me out,
because Rychards wouldn't tell Lovejoy?

Oh, come on, Kay.

Would I waste... Would I spend
a Saturday night with you just for that?

I wouldn't be surprised.

What, invite you into the privacy
of my own home and all that? Come on.

- But I do need to know about that shop.
- If he finds out, Rychards'll kill me.

No.

I just drifted into it. I bought a building
for the restaurant premises

and found that the real money
was in selling the building again.

And I've just gone on doing it since.

- As easy as that.
- No, not really but that's the official story.

Ah, Vicky.

You know, sooner or later,
you're gonna have to see your mother.

And she's gonna want to meet David.

And if you want to make my life easier...

would you please make it sooner?

Sure.

I knew you'd like him,
that's why I wanted you to meet first.

- Are you gonna come along as well?
- I wouldn't miss it for the world.

(Oinking)

You've wasted your time
coming all the way out here, Tinker.

I'm not wasting my time, Mr. Wendover.
I love communing with nature.

Glad to hear it cos you won't be communing
with my Edward Lear parrot.

I wasn't offering to buy it because I knew
that you wouldn't consider selling it.

- What are you doing here, then?
- I thought I'd offer something in exchange.

- What might that be?
- I thought I'd let you guide me in that.

There's only one thing I'd even consider
exchanging that parrot for.

I know I'm giving you a hard time

but it isn't natural for a 19-year-old
to live with a man of that age.

I can't help thinking
if I'd spent more time with her,

if we'd had a different life together,
I... I just feel responsible.

Susan, we did what we wanted.
We were kids.

Vicky's made her decision,
I think we should support her.

All right.

I'll meet him.

With a good heart?

With a good heart.

Good.

Anyway, I don't think this is
a lifetime arrangement.

Why not?

Just an instinct.

This is gonna cost you, Lovejoy.

Is that the info
on the owner of the shop?

- Right.
- Get yourself a couple of beers, Eric.

This price of this information
is two tickets to the Holy Grail concert.

You don't like Gothic rock.

Well, I know, but to get the information
I had to promise to take Kay, didn't I?

- Very, very nice girl.
- That's not the point.

I'm not using my money
to pay to see the Holy Grail.

This is blackmail, Eric.

No, this is legitimate
business expenses, Lovejoy.

Thank you.

Queston Fine Arts Gallery, Great Barfield.

How do you know it's Gothic rock, anyway?

(Humming)

So you liked David Herbert?

I wouldn't want to share a flat with him
but yeah, he's OK.

Was he as decrepit as we heard?

I would say he was a man
in the prime of his life.

Ah. So he was the same age as you, then?

(Whistle blows)

(Jane) Queston Fine Arts. I wonder why
they closed the gallery in Rittlesford?

- Hello. My name's Jez. Can I help?
- We're just having a look around, thanks.

We were driving past and saw your shop
and thought how pretty it was.

We do need some pictures for the house,
so I said to my husband,

"Why don't we stop and have a look
in here?" and so we did.

Well, please, wander round.
I'm here if you need me.

Thought you were gonna tell him
our life history.

I was just trying to be convincing.

That's more than this is. Or this.

Copies?

Hmm.

This is the real thing.

Excuse me. I like this. How much is it?

Ah! That's sold, I'm afraid.

Oh. You liked this one, darling, didn't you?

That's waiting to be collected, too,
I'm afraid.

We should move them
but they make the shop attractive,

as if we've got more stock than
we really have, so we keep them on view.

Ah, yes, this rather caught my eye,
didn't it yours, George?

- (Mouths)
- Ah, now.

That is available.

And how much is it available for?

- 25,000.
- £25,000?

Well, Munnings painted
very few landscapes, you know.

And he is enjoying
a resurgence of fashionability.

I didn't even know it was an Annings.

(Both) Munnings.

I'm afraid your stuff is all
a little bit pricy for our pocket.

Oh, we have cheaper things.
Please - just browse around.

Thank you.

(Mouths)

- The copies are all sold.
- And the real pictures are available.

- There's something weird going on.
- Weird and ingenious.

Jez Brightman.

Any relation, do you think?

Janey.

Cleaning and restoration.

(Ignition)

Yeah. Yeah, this one will do.

I like that the way it is.

Yeah? Well George thinks
it needs a clean.

- Have you got something for me?
- Could you have a look at it?

Fine. Very fine.

But you're right, it does need a clean-up.

I know, but I had rather got used to it dirty.

Well, people do prefer
what they've got used to

but I think you've got to take the attitude

that the artist who painted it knew best
how he wanted it to look.

- Just how different will it look?
- Not too much, not this one.

These areas here, well,
they'll lighten up a bit.

You see, it's probably spent years
in a room with a coal fire,

that usually does it.

How do you learn all this?
I've often wondered about that.

- I mean, you seem so young.
- Do I?

I started out as a painter,
went to the Royal College.

- Are you from an artistic family?
- Nah. My dad's a cabbie.

I had all these romantic ideas
about being a painter.

They soon died a death on the floor
of the Catford DHSS,

so then I got into this game.

Reliable work, good money.

It's absolutely fascinating.
Do you still paint?

Not after a day in this place.

So, what's your name and address, darling?

Thank you.

Ah...

Thanks. Is Mr. Herbert in his office?

OK.

I'm afraid Mr. Herbert's not in his office.

Oh, well. Just passing.

Mr. Herbert's secretary has asked me
to ask you if you'd like an appointment.

Some other time, perhaps.

Some other time, he said.

- Good morning, madam.
- Morning. Mrs. Herbert.

You dropped this just now.

- Thank you, sir.
- That was the ex-Mrs. Herbert, wasn't it?

That still is Mrs. Herbert, sir.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Very tanned and fit, isn't she?

So would you if you lived
in the South of France, sir.

Yeah, I would, wouldn't I?

Yes, very professional.

Full of native South London charm.

He went to the Royal College but realized
his true destiny was making money.

Now he lives in a modernized cottage
in the village and drives a Porsche.

"When I'm not driving the van, darlin'."

- You liked him.
- Mm. He was very good-looking.

Mm.

- The young Jez Brightman.
- Mm?

Was up on drugs charges a year ago.

Lucky to get away
with a suspended sentence.

- So strings were pulled?
- Really, Janey!

"Jez Brightman,
28-year-old film producer..."?

While he was at college -
the Royal College of Art.

Film studies.

Ah!

- Same college as your good-looking friend.
- At the same time.

No doubt.

Mm.

Oh. The deceased Mrs. Herbert.

No, the very much alive and kicking
and living in Cap Ferrat Mrs. Herbert.

So David Herbert isn't such
a knight in shining armor.

Well, he is separated.
That's something, I suppose.

I wonder he told Vicky she was dead.

I'll bet you he told her that
when he first met her,

- either to get sympathy or...
- To get her into bed.

He can hardly bring her back to life
and tell Vicky.

- Are you going to tell Vicky?
- I've got to.

I agree. But I don't envy you the task.

Mm. While I'm plucking up the courage...

let's sort out young Mr. Brightman.

- (Unlocking)
- I'll put the tea on,

- you get the firm's board out.
- Right.

- How'd you get on with that dealer?
- It's under control.

- What about Wendover?
- Under negotiation.

Do the deal, get me that parrot.

Yes, sir!

Who's a pretty boy, then?

Hello, hello.

Oh, hello.
I'd like to see Mr. Brightman, please.

- Is he expecting you, sir?
- Show him this.

I don't think it'll be a problem.

I was curious to know exactly what
sort of con you say my son was planning.

Not planning, Mr. Brightman,
he's already done it!

Quite a few times and he's still at it.

If I were you I'd be very careful
how you continue.

I shall assist my son in pursuing
any false allegations through the courts.

Oh, yes, young Jeremy's got
some experience of them, hasn't he?

- But nothing like he's gonna get.
- You have 30 seconds

- and then I shall call the police.
- Sir Alfred Munnings. The real thing.

And it's been cleaned recently
by your son's friend Mr. McKinley.

And if it has?

Your son's swindle is one of the sweetest
abuses of privilege I've come across.

He must have persuaded you to have every
painting in this house cleaned, right?

Then, while they're being cleaned,

the talented Mr. McKinley copies them.

Then your son puts the real painting
into one of his shops.

I know this because a friend of mine
asked me to check out a painting

she'd been offered by your son.

It was the real thing.
The one she took home wasn't.

You see, they switched it.

They switched the real thing for one of
Mr. McKinley's very, very good copies.

Then they brought the real picture,
which had been cleaned, back here.

The picture that they swindled my friend
over is the Gertler.

It's very foolish of you coming here
with such a ridiculous story.

Ridiculous? I think it was a terrific scam.

You'll be hearing from our lawyers first thing.

Did you hear me? I said "was". I intend
to close down this upper-class rip-off.

Well, let's have a look at it, then.

- This weighs a ton.
- Just drag it out.

Oh, yeah, brilliant, Jez,
and wreck the bleedin' frame.

Sod the frame.

Do you need a hand?

- Who the hell are you?
- He's the one who caused all this trouble.

Lovejoy's the name, sleuthing's the game.

Don't tell me, Jez, let me take a wild guess.

You dad called,
told you to get rid of the evidence.

Came in the other day under false pretences,
pretending to be a customer.

- So what, you gonna call the police?
- We ain't done nothing illegal here.

- No?
- Nor anywhere you can prove anything.

This is private property, pal.
I advise you to go.

I keep being told to leave places today.

Yeah? While you still can.

Know what I mean?

- I've got other evidence, anyway.
- What other bloody evidence?

Not a good idea.

Go on, Matt.

Wouldn't do any good.

You stupid...

So you sold the Gertler back to Brightman?

Bonnie got an offer she couldn't refuse.

- It was a lot of money.
- More than you paid for it?

A hell of a lot more.

- Can't Bonnie answer?
- Don't come the heavy hand with me.

You might remember
you're in somebody else's home.

Andrew, can you give us a moment?

Bonnie, you don't understand
what was going on.

The Gertler I looked at for you,
that was the real thing,

the one hanging in this house wasn't.

They switched them on you.
You were conned.

Well, how do you make that out?
We just sold it for a huge profit.

It doesn't matter. I was going to use the fake
to prove what Brightman was up to.

I'm sorry. Means I can buy Andrew a car.

Happy motoring.

- Go away!
- Vicky, will you let me in?

This is all your fault!

What's all my fault?
Will you please let me in?

Vicky!

What is it that's all my fault?

This is what's all your fault, Dad.

Yours and Mum's. David's left me.

"Although..."

"The difference in our ages..."

"Don't want to ruin your life..."

"You can stay here as long as you like."

You made him leave me, didn't you, Dad?
You didn't even like him.

I didn't get to know him well enough
to make up my mind.

Anyway, I wouldn't go behind your back,
you know that.

Do I?
Well, it must've been Mum then, mustn't it?

Vicky!

She wouldn't do it, either.

I mean, we were both worried about you.

We both know how difficult it is
to keep any kind of a relationship going.

I mean, you put in an extra problem
like the difference in the ages...

- It wasn't a problem.
- It's in his letter, Vicky.

He was terrific, Dad.

I've never felt so good
with someone before, ever.

I don't know why he left me,
we were getting on so well.

He could've spoken to me
rather than just leaving it for me in a letter.

What do you want to do?
You don't want to stay here, do you?

I can't throw Sarah out, can I?

Stay with me?

- Mum?
- No.

What about Janey, hm?

You like her, don't you, eh?
It'll only be for a couple of weeks,

plenty of time
for Sarah to find somewhere else.

- Will she have me?
- Of course she will.

Might not be a good idea, though.

You'll both gang up on me, eh?

It's excellent. Thank you very much.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you very much.

How's that scoundrel Lovejoy?

Still scoundreling.

Sophie.

Herbert!

- Lovejoy. I was going to call you.
- Were you?

Yes. I didn't know what to say.
I've made rather a fool of myself.

You did. Why did you tell my daughter
your wife was dead?

Six months ago I was deeply depressed.

Problems with the business,
my marriage was breaking up.

And then I met Vicky.

My life seemed to start all over again.
I didn't know what I was doing.

But then I met you, and I woke up.

I mean, I could see how crazy it was,
I was so embarrassed,

there was no possibility of it working out

and actually, I'm going back to my wife.

Who's this?

This er...

is my daughter.

So they just get away with it?

Nobody gets away with anything.

Restitution has been made in full,

including the return
of Lady Felsham's painting,

which has been cleaned at no cost.

And your friend in Hampstead
has made a handsome profit.

McKinley's business is closed.

Queston Fine Arts Gallery is closed...

and it will not reopen.

What about Jez and McKinley?

They'll have to start their lives
all over again.

So they screw everybody in sight
and they get rewarded with a second chance.

Yes. A second chance for two young men
who are not fundamentally bad.

They're not fundamentally bad,
just fundamentally bent.

- This was all your son's idea, you know.
- Yes. And he is my son.

Yeah, well, that's a cross
you'll have to bear, Brightman.

I don't think you've any cause
to be upset, Lovejoy.

I just hate that they're free to do it again.

Yes, but if it wasn't for you,
they'd still be at it.

You've put them out of business
and nobody's lost any money.

I wish you'd done as well for Uncle Willy.

We have.

- What?!
- Ta-da!

Wonderful!

- How did you manage to get this?
- What did you give Wendover?

What about if we go for a drink,
Lady Jane, to celebrate?

- What did you give Wendover?
- We'll explain later.