Original subtitles

(theme music plays)

(jazz music playing)

Man: (recorded message) Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Stop, thi...

Unless my security device is reset,

I am timed to self-destruct in 15 seconds.

14.

(whir, click)

My security device is now primed.

I will give audible warning of any unauthorized contact.

Mother: I am in a creative mood, Rhonda.

Trundle me.

Top secret memorandum to Grandma.

Subject... the transmission of vital secrets, codes,

currencies, plans and other sundry items

used by the other side.

It is vital to both security and the nation

that all agents should get their priorities right.

We have found that these items are situated

in an attaché case which is being passed hand to hand

by a chain of enemy agents,

number unknown.

Destination of the case unknown.

We have, however, located its first delivery point

which at this very moment of time

is under the surveillance of Tara King

and Captain Andrews.

- Morning. - Morning, Miss King.

Well, we're all set.

- Anything happen yet? - Not a lot.

Take a look.

- Andrews: Well, what do you see? - Just a man on a bike.

Nothing else?

No, nothing else.

Good.

Considering I've got over 30 men staked out in that area,

that's a considerable achievement.

Who's the man on the bike?

He's the second link in the chain.

If my information is correct,

somebody will be bringing him the case very soon now.

- And then we'll jump on him. - Oh, no, we won't.

No, no, we shall let the transfer take place

and then a specialized team will follow the case

through all its exchanges until it reaches

its final recipient.

And that's the man we're after.

That's right. The man at the top.

Mr. Big.

- The mastermind. - The arch villain.

- Exactly. - You've got enough equipment here

- to launch a moon shot. - (sighs)

Anything approaching on the detector?

No.

Is that the man on the motorbike?

That's right.

Well, how are you gonna follow him

after he makes the pickup?

We've got cars parked on all the roads around here,

two helicopters permanently in the air.

We shall stay closer to him than his own shadow

and he'll never even know it.

That's a definite contact.

All units, intruder approaching from the northwest.

- Man: Yes, sir. - Man: Yes, sir.

He should be in sight by now, report.

Man: Nothing visible.

Man: Area clear. Nothing in sight.

- Man: All clear. - Man: Nobody in the area.

Got a definite reading less than 300 yards out now.

Man: Still nothing. Nobody in the area.

Section clear. All clear.

Man: Nothing visible.

He's still coming. They must see him now.

Philipson, he's very near you now.

Absolutely nothing, sir. Nothing in sight at all.

He's less than 100 yards out. You must see him now.

Man: I'm sorry, sir. There's nobody.

What's happening, Andrews?

Who have you got out there, the invisible man?

Andrews: He's still coming. 50 yards now.

Tara: Nobody could be as close as this without being seen.

- Andrews: Somebody's doing it. - Tara: He's still coming.

He's almost here.

- It's a dog! - Man: A dog?

Man: It's a dog. Look, it's a dog.

- Man: A dog? - Man: A dog?

A dog?

(dog growls)

He's seen us. Take him out, stop him!

(shouts)

The lock, that's this here.

The lock has been designed to take a number

of different keys.

Each key will turn the lock just a few degrees.

That looks like a tape recorder.

Yes. That's my guess.

Can't you break it open?

Up here, that's over here, that's an explosive charge.

Nothing too powerful,

but enough to destroy the case if it's tampered with.

Now behind all of this is a screen.

And behind the screen is a compartment.

Well, what's in it?

I don't know as yet.

We'll have to get a few more X-rays.

Excuse me. Miss King, he's conscious now.

Oh, thank you, doctor. Can he talk?

You'll have to be very quick.

- Have you found anything? - No.

Nothing help us find the next contact?

- No. - What about keys?

There's some keys but they don't fit.

Trent, can you hear me?

Where were you going to take the case?

Who's next in the chain?

Trent, who give you your instructions?

The case...

It's all... in the... case.

I wonder why he took the jacket off in the airfield.

I have no idea.

Love.

Love laughs at locksmiths.

Look. Look at this one.

What do you think about it major?

Could be. Could be.

- Do you want to chance it? - What have we got to lose?

Man: (recorded message) You will take me to room 27

at the Cremorne Hotel in Sloane Street.

A reservation has been made in the name of Richard Strauss.

Take me there at once.

I will issue further instructions

in precisely one hour's time.

That is all.

(whir, click)

Morning, everybody. Beautiful day.

I'd like you all to meet Mr. Strauss,

Mr. Richard Strauss.

Well, I don't imagine it figures prominently

on the list of the world's great hotels.

Oh, I don't know.

It has a sort of faded gentility.

It's probably full of lovely old ladies

and lavender lace who sit sipping tea and remembering.

Remembering what?

Whatever old ladies remember.

Think I should come in with you?

No, they're expecting Richard Strauss.

I better do it alone.

You'd better hurry because the hour is almost up.

Yes, the little man in here

is due to deliver his next message.

- Mm. - I'll be back.

Watch out for the old ladies.

Man: (recorded message) Attention.

Your contact will arrive within the next three hours.

Put me safely out of sight in the wardrobe

and make yourself comfortable.

Thank you for your cooperation. That is all.

(whir, click)

Man: (recorded message) You will take me

to number 11 Heston Avenue at 8:00 this evening.

You will ask for Miss Graham.

That is all. (whir, click)

Number 11.

- Now if I'm not back in 10 minutes... - I'll come looking.

By the way, that was good work getting this back.

Woman: And up and round and up and round

and round and round

and up and round and up and round

and round and round and up and up

and round and up and round

and round and round

and up and good evening.

And all the little fairies are getting tired,

very tired, and resting.

And a few moments of free expression.

Agh!

Full of high spirits, aren't they?

Steed: Very.

(speaks foreign language)

Very interesting tableau. What is it?

"Custer's last stand?"

Woman: Wings, Beryl, there's a good fairy.

Ouch!

Long, Audrey Long, Miss.

Steed, John Steed, Mister.

Beryl, now stop that!

All destined for the Bolshoi?

Oh, gosh, no, I shouldn't think so.

I have to say they're pretty awful,

but I teach them what I can.

I see you include karate in your curriculum.

Audrey: Beryl!

All right, you little... fairies.

On your feet and away for the day.

The sandman's coming. Run along home then.

Off you go to your little... cages.

Sorry about that.

Excuse me.

(screams)

I had to get that out of my system.

If I didn't do that at least once every day,

I'd massacre them.

Oh, you haven't got a little monster.

I mean, a dear sweet child you wish to enroll?

Oh, no, no.

Actually I came to try and find a Miss Graham.

Miss Graham? Oh, you mean Sally.

So she is here?

Mm, I'll fetch her for you if you like.

Sally?

(singsong) Sally! Visitor for you.

How do you do? I'm Sally Graham.

Oh.

Oh, uh, I'm extremely pleased to meet you, Miss Graham.

My name is Steed, John Steed.

I see you brought my case, Mr. Steed.

Yes.

Thank you very much. I've enjoyed meeting you.

- Good night, Mr. Steed. - Good night.

Now all you little fairies be quiet as you go out,

all on your tippy toes.

All: Goodnight.

Nighty night.

If you'll excuse me, Mr. Steed. I have to change.

Jolly nice meeting you.

Jolly ni... um, Miss...

Ah, Miss Graham, Sally.

Sally, where's the case?

- What case, Mr. Steed? - Let me put it another way.

How would you like 20 large lollipops like that one?

Are you trying to bribe me, Mr. Steed?

In a word, yes.

Oh, good.

Frankly, my susceptibility to bribes

is one of my few failings.

Then we both know where we stand.

Good, then let's talk money and not lollipops.

- 10 shillings. - 25 pounds.

25?

You wouldn't want to take advantage of me just because

I'm a little girl, would you, Mr. Steed?

I see your point.

Now if you can get me that case.

It's here, Mr. Steed.

I wish you'd waited a minute longer, aunty Audrey.

A girl can do a lot with 25 pounds.

Come on, darling.

Aren't we going to weight him with cement

- and toss him in the river? - Not today, darling.

Aren't you even going to empty his wallet?

How do you feel?

As though Nijinsky was dancing a pare brise

inside my head wearing hobnail boots.

Well, you seem to have everything under control.

Well, I've got the case.

Well, look in her handbag for the key.

You'd be wasting your time.

- What? - I know where it is.

You do?

Well, why don't you tell uncle John and aunty Tara

and then we'd give you a lovely, lovely present.

Don't waste time on little girl talk.

I should think she's one of the gnomes of Zurich.

- How much? - Same price.

25 pounds invested in blue chip equities

which are high yield by the time I am 21.

Steed: If you reach it.

Thank you.

- The key. - Help me up.

I am queen of the fairies.

And when I wave my magic wand, all your wishes will be granted.

Alakazam kazam.

Man: (recorded message) You will take me

to the telephone box in Cramley High Street.

You will stand in the box at precisely 9:00

when I will issue further instructions.

That is all.

Alakazam kazam.

Oh, Sally, just remember one thing,

money isn't everything.

Oh, Mr. Steed, don't shatter a little girl's illusions.

Aunty Audrey, Audrey, time to get up.

And don't feel too bad.

I'll cut you in for 5%.

Ah, Colonel Stonehouse. Is this a social visit?

I'm afraid not.

But then neither is it an official visit.

Just one department head talking to another.

- Off the record. - Exactly.

Stonehouse: May I be frank?

I admire it. I abhor hyperbole.

This man, the man at the top,

the one to whom we hope the case will lead us...

Mother: Well, what about it?

A number of people believe that he's a person

- of considerable trust. - A view I share myself.

Yes, a number of people also...

I hope you won't misunderstand,

but a number of people think...

That the man at the top is me.

Oh, yes, Colonel.

It's my job to acquaint myself with all rumors,

however malicious or unpleasant, yes.

I know that I am the number-one suspect.

Needless to say, I do not subscribe with this theory.

Well, you should.

You'd be a darn fool if you didn't.

This case has been running on now for 18 months.

Four of my agents have been killed.

I'm in a position to lay false trails for them,

betray my own men. (chuckles)

Colonel, I think I make a very good number-one suspect.

And you make a very good number-two.

- Me? - That's what they're saying.

This is outrageous.

How dare they, me?

Once these rumors start,

like this wine, they leave an aftertaste.

The only way to eradicate them is total success.

Our reputations depend on the real traitor

being uncovered.

That's a burden I don't want Steed

to know that he's carrying.

For the moment, all that matters is

that he doesn't let that case out of his sight

for one second.

Man: (recorded message) Your next contact

has already passed the telephone box

and identified you.

You will now go to a place of safety

where the transfer can be made.

Your contact will follow you. That is all.

(whir, click)

I like that.

I like your style.

We'd make a pretty good team.

If this is what you came for, take it and get out.

There's no big rush.

Relax, sweetheart.

Look, you pour out some drinks. Let's talk a little.

- Some other time. - When?

I don't know.

I'll tell you what? I could come back later tonight.

The only thing I have to do is deliver the case.

Well, that might take hours.

Never has yet.

Well, where do you have to take it?

I shan't know until I've used my key.

Well, why don't you use it now and if it's not too far away,

I might even come with you.

Not even for you, sweetheart.

Where I keep my key and where I go

is strictly top-secret.

I don't mind.

I'll tell you what.

You, uh... put a little wine on ice,

play a little soft music,

you change into something tight,

and I'll be back before you know it.

I'll be here.

Don't lose him, Steed.

Man: (recorded message) You will take me

to room 6 in Colton House.

Before doing so, however,

there is a matter of security to be taken care of.

You will kill your last contact.

Repeat... you will kill your last contact.

(whir, click)

(door closes)

That didn't take long, did it?

I'm sorry about this, sweetheart.

I really am sorry.

What are you talking about?

I liked your style.

I really did like your style.

And why the past tense?

Turn around.

- Now listen. - I said turn around.

It's the eyes.

I don't like looking at the eyes when I do it.

You're not going to kill me, are you?

We could have had something rather good for us.

Keep looking straight ahead.

Good-bye, sweetheart.

Believe me, I really am sorry.

You, hands above your head.

Steed: You, on your feet. You, woman, up!

Right down.

You, hands above your head.

Stop.

You, woman! Hands above your head.

- Who are you? - Steed, security.

We've been watching the woman for some time,

but picking you up is quite a bonus.

Hands behind your back.

- Jump me. - What?

Jump me.

All right now, young lady.

Right.

That should hold you.

Now what have we got around here?

Try and grab the rope with your free hand.

- Where do I take it? - What?

The case, I'll grab it and try to make a break for it,

but I've got to know where to take it.

I can't tell you that.

Now listen, the only important thing

is to get that case to its next contact.

Just a minute. I'm free.

Now quickly, there's not much time. Where?

Where?

Room 6 Colton House.

- I like your style, sweetheart. - Number 6 Colton House.

Is that what you wanted to know, Mr. Steed?

You're a genius, Miss King.

I'm sorry, sweetheart, really sorry.

I was right about one thing.

She certainly has style.

Now let me look at that.

Now at that one.

Just as I thought.

Something in that case has shifted position.

- Yes, you're right. - Any idea what it is?

It's certainly not built-in.

Well, then it's... whatever it is that has to be delivered.

Yes, that's probable.

I'll send up some prints to forensic.

They might come up with something.

Let me know as soon as you hear.

- Anything? - Not yet.

I've been thinking, you know,

the chances of following that case through

to its final destination must be 99 to 1 against.

Well, I wouldn't put them that high.

However, I do anticipate difficulty.

Let's face it, Mother.

The whole purpose of the chain of couriers

is to make it impossible to follow.

It's a brilliant concept.

And as far as I can see, quite infallible.

Well, it's worth a try.

I'm sure Steed and Tara are making progress.

Then why haven't we heard from them?

Probably too busy, can't get near the telephone.

Number 6 Colton House.

Man: Hai!

(thud)

- I can't go in there. - Oh, come on, Steed.

Just because he's a karate expert,

- there's no reason to... - I know that man.

It's Tim, Captain Tim, and he knows me.

Well, he won't know if his contact

is supposed to be a man or a woman, will he?

- That's a fair assumption, but... - But?

You've just seen what he can do.

Now be careful.

Excuse me.

(bellows)

This is a man's club.

That's nice.

(bellows)

You're not a man.

It's decent of you to have noticed.

(bellows)

That's my part of the job done.

Where'd you get this?

You're not supposed to ask me that,

and I'm not supposed to tell you.

- I am asking. - Well, I'm not telling.

Let me put it this way.

My contact's name would be Cavell.

Oh, that's my name, Tara Cavell.

- You? - Yes.

I'm sorry I don't have any papers to prove it.

I didn't think it'd be necessary.

- We can do better than this. - Really?

You see, I know something else about my contact.

- You do? - I've heard a lot about Cavell.

Cavell is supposed to be the only person

in the world who can beat me in a fight.

All right, Cavell...

prove it.

Prove it.

If anyone had told me, I'd never have believed it.

- What? - You.

That last blow, what did you hit me with,

an iron bar?

You're good, very good.

I suppose you've even won.

And I'm Tara Cavell.

- I'm convinced. - Good.

What's that?

My leg, I think it's broken.

Or your knee do you think?

- That's it then. - What?

- It means you'll have to do it. - Do what?

Take the case on to the next contact.

Oh, well, I can't possibly do that

because it's against the rules.

Yeah, but this is an emergency.

I mean, you don't expect me to hop there, do you?

Please, will you? For me?

Mm, well, all right.

You wouldn't like to do me another favor, would you?

What's that?

Don't tell anybody you beat me.

It'll be our secret.

Well, you must admit,

it was no trouble at all getting this key.

Man: (recorded message) Take me

to number 84 Patrick Street

and leave me there at midnight precisely.

(whir, click)

No one home.

Come on in.

It's a wild guess,

but I'd say that our contact was a musician.

Brilliant.

Try another deduction. A man or a woman?

Definitely.

Well, shall we wait or come back later?

Oh, no, the case was quite specific.

We have to hand it over at precisely midnight.

We got five minutes to go. We'll wait.

- How many more do you think? - How many more what?

How many more contacts before we reach the man at the top.

It's hard to tell

but I should think we're pretty close, but...

(plucks note)

Oh, that's beautiful.

It is?

You can tell that at a glance.

It's made by a pupil of Stradivarius.

Oh, the patina.

That mellow glow that's been achieved by hundreds

of years of caressing.

That's the work of a master.

There's a label inside.

Probably the maker's signature.

Hmm, the East India Plywood

and Timber Box Company.

Oh.

Someone coming. Quick.

Quick!

How do you do?

Let me make my position clear...

I'm personally opposed to physical violence.

So to avoid unpleasantness,

why don't you tell me where the key is?

This is no time for a clarinet solo.

A-sharp, I imagine.

You should have just delivered the case and left.

Now I'll have to kill you.

I was curious to know where you kept the key.

It's all in here, man.

All you have to do is play the right notes.

That's a sad epitaph for a musician.

He died flat.

What about the key?

He said that all you have to do

is to play the right notes.

He was about to pick up one of these instruments

before he went to the curtains.

- A sonic key. - What?

You know the things they fix in garages,

the doors open in response to the sound from a motor horn.

You mean, the key is a note played on this.

A note or a combination of notes.

(wheezing notes)

I thought you could play the tuba.

- Eh? - You've got one in your apartment.

That's to put flowers in.

(plays notes)

I didn't know you could play the trumpet.

First time.

Hold this.

(plays riff)

That's very good.

There's no use.

There must be hundreds and thousands of combinations.

As far as I know,

they're still searching for the last chord.

(strings plinking)

Man: (recorded message) At precisely 8:00 A.M.,

you will deposit me outside the luggage loading bay

at King's Cross station.

That is all. (whir, clicks)

We have to face it, Mother.

It's evident that Steed has failed.

I will not concede defeat until I'm defeated.

It was a slim chance by any standard.

Nil desperandum, Stonehouse.

Chin up and all that sort of rot.

We've identified the object in the case.

- Well? - Half a million pounds in notes.

You know what this means, don't you?

Could be the final payoff.

They won't use the system again

if we don't pin down Mr. Big this time.

Then we'll never get him.

Man: (recorded message) You will take me

to St. Bartholomew's Church.

Deposit me in the Cunningham family crypt.

That is all.

The Cunningham family crypt.

(door slams and bolts)

Man: (recorded message) I thank you

for your cooperation in bringing me here.

Unfortunately, in the interests of security,

sacrifices have to be made.

I am a substitute case designed to mislead any pursuers.

To maintain security,

it is necessary that you do not survive.

The crypt is hermetically sealed

and I will shortly emit a poison gas.

To make your last minutes more comfortable,

I contain a small gift.

Thank you and good-bye.

(whir, click)

Stop, thief!

Stop, thief!

Unless my security device is reset,

I am timed to self-destruct in 10 seconds.

Nine, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three, two, one,

zero.

Well, this is a surprise.

It's dastardly to bring the case here,

here.

They're obviously trying to cast suspicion on you.

It might have worked if I hadn't been involved.

Well, you're certainly no traitor.

As far as I'm concerned,

despite your little foibles, you're above suspicion.

Thank you very much for saying so.

Foibles?

- The problem is... - What foibles?

Now how will Mr. Big collect that from here?

Well, let us see what might have happened.

Oh, you might have been relieved from your assignment.

And the case given into the custody

of one of our security people.

That's it, that's it. That's how he'll collect it.

Now, someone will come here and...

I rushed over as soon as I heard the news.

So it's true then. Back to square one.

Well, at least it will give me a chance

to conduct a few more tests.

- Not just yet. - Why waste time...

Not just yet.

Ah, so that's the case.

Yes, but no sign of the man it was destined for.

I've been thinking about that.

The money, might be a chance of tracing it.

That'd give us one end of the chain, at least.

Possibly.

Perfectly.

But you're forgetting one thing.

We can't open the case,

not without destroying the contents.

Oh, nonsense, my bomb disposal boys

have handled trickier things than this.

I think they at least ought to be given the opportunity.

Man: (recorded message) My final collection

is long overdue.

I must assume that I've fallen into the wrong hands.

I will self-destruct myself and my contents

in 15 seconds,

14, 13, 12, 11,

10, 9, 8,

7, 6...

- A little trap we set up. - And you swallowed it.

That rather surprised us.

We did you a disservice, old chap.

We thought it was you.

So it was me all along. It doesn't matter now.

There's enough here to enable me to disappear forever.

Good-bye Steed, Mother.

(tires screeching)

Tara: He's opened the wrong case.

Steed: (recorded message) Tara, it just won't work.

There's not room in my apartment

for both Fang the Wonder dog and me.

I hope you don't mind,

but I've packed his little case

and I'm sending him to you for his holidays.

Tara: (recorded message) Steed,

I hope I'm not doing you an injustice,

but I have a nasty, sneaky suspicion

you're going to try and get me to adapt Fang.

Well, hard luck... I'm spending the weekend

with my aged aunt in Cheltenham.

Steed: I'm sure you'll both get along well.

He's a teeny bit fussy with his food...

Likes venison, steak tartar and vintage port...

But other than that, he's no trouble at all.

Tara: Now don't get me wrong,

I like Fang, but I wouldn't be able

to give him the exercise he needs.

Steed: A 10-mile romp morning and evening

is all he wants, do you both good.

Tara: And anyway, there's nowhere for him to sleep.

Steed: You'll find he'll curl up anywhere.

Just toss an old mink jacket into a corner

and he'll be happy.

Tara: Whatever you say, Steed,

the answer's no, no, no.

Steed: I knew you'd understand.

- (dogs bark and whine) - Just one more thing...

He will insist on inviting all his friends around to stay.

Tara: It shouldn't happen to a dog.

(whir, click, dogs barking)

(theme music plays)