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00:00:25,740 --> 00:00:28,680
What's going on here? It's a surprise.
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00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:33,000
They wanted to show their appreciation
before the new semester begins, but I
3
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,300
want you to know, from the bottom of my
heart, I'm absolutely opposed to it.
4
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,500
You're still as sweet as ever.
5
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:41,020
Don't mention it.
6
00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:45,220
Thank all of you. I mean, I don't know
what to say.
7
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:47,180
Just say you'll take us out to a movie.
8
00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:53,880
You knew about this, didn't you? Of
course I knew. Kids told me last week.
9
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:57,180
I told them a party wasn't necessary
since...
10
00:00:57,470 --> 00:01:00,850
Teaching at Buchanan has been a joy for
you since the first day.
11
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:02,370
Well,
12
00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:07,230
let's make that day two. I remember that
first day when I had the pleasure of
13
00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:09,670
meeting these eager young minds for the
first time.
14
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:18,470
Good morning.
15
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:26,410
I'm your new homeroom teacher.
16
00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,050
My name is Mr. Cotter.
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00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:50,650
I am looking forward to a meaningful
learning experience for everybody.
18
00:01:54,050 --> 00:01:56,830
A meaningful learning experience, Mr.
Cotter? Wow!
19
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,000
You're a social studies instructor.
20
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:06,920
Social studies? That's one of our
favorites. Can we begin right now?
21
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:10,919
Well, as soon as I get your names, I
guess we'll get right into it. Great old
22
00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:12,000
goody, goody, goody.
23
00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:23,020
Now that I have succeeded in
establishing a relationship,
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a rapport between myself and myself, I'd
like to know who you
25
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,300
are.
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00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:33,850
Let us begin over here. No, no.
27
00:02:34,210 --> 00:02:35,670
We're going to start over here.
28
00:02:36,410 --> 00:02:37,950
Okay, we'll start over here.
29
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Barbarino.
30
00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:42,350
Vinnie Barbarino.
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This is my place, and these, these are
my people.
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Thank you, Chairman Barbarino.
33
00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:56,390
Who is this?
34
00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:59,270
That. That is Epstein.
35
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:04,280
the toughest kid in school, voted most
likely to take a life.
36
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:08,980
Epstein, huh?
37
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:15,560
Juan Luis Pedro Filippo de Huevos
Epstein from San Juan.
38
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,040
Your mother's Puerto Rican? No, my
father.
39
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,640
My mother's name is Bibimin.
40
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,940
Washington. Freddie.
41
00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:01,150
He's Horschak.
42
00:04:04,750 --> 00:04:05,770
Horschak doesn't talk?
43
00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:08,050
He talks when I tell him to talk.
44
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:11,170
That's so Horschak you need him to tell
you to talk?
45
00:04:38,410 --> 00:04:39,930
horse shank the last.
46
00:04:40,270 --> 00:04:47,250
Why the last horse shank? Because after
they made me, they broke the mold.
47
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,870
Welcome back.
48
00:04:59,170 --> 00:05:01,950
Welcome to the Boy Hard Back to School
special.
49
00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:09,240
Welcome back to that same old place that
you
50
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:16,240
laughed about well the names have all
changed since you hung around but those
51
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:22,280
dreams have remained and they've turned
around who'd have thought they'd lead ya
52
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:28,120
who'd have thought they'd lead ya back
here where we need ya back here where we
53
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:33,760
need ya yeah we tease him a lot cause we
got him on the spot welcome back
54
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:49,720
You know something? I guess that's the
key to learning.
55
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,520
Students and teachers relating to each
other as mature people.
56
00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:18,290
We gotta loosen up here, right?
57
00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:19,990
Alright.
58
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,460
Hey, Mr. Carter, I got a note.
59
00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:21,860
What's all this?
60
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,540
Those are the notes covering my
absenteeism for...
61
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,670
What are you talking about abandon,
Freddy? I was at a teacher's convention
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00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:17,670
two days.
63
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:18,810
Well, that's what I said.
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00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,350
Abandon.
65
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:41,490
because of you. I mean, you've given us
the big -time, perfect example of the
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00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:42,349
role model.
67
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,950
A man that has it all together.
68
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:12,530
of the socialist proletariat, the
Russian Revolution had come to a close.
69
00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:14,869
The end.
70
00:11:14,870 --> 00:11:16,470
Did you hear about the 500 -pound
parrot?
71
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,110
He says...
72
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:27,340
This is losing control. Somebody do
something.
73
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,500
You see this? This is what I was talking
about. This is the power of the press.
74
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:33,820
Exposing corruption.
75
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,740
Unseating the mighty and bringing them
before the bar of justice.
76
00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:40,720
See, he's out of control again.
77
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:54,180
pajamas i'll never know oh yeah used by
a woman once again well look
78
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:57,340
you're a very interesting goober kids
and i love to go on talking here forever
79
00:12:57,340 --> 00:13:03,920
but it's time to play let's go to school
i searched here and i searched there
80
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,940
i'm searching for my shanghai
81
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,560
help me rescue my manhood. Did I
succeed?
82
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:43,720
All my life, people have been trying to
push me aside.
83
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,300
Arnold, go to your room.
84
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,340
Arnold, go outside and play.
85
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,320
Arnold, we'll meet you after school.
86
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,780
Mr. Carter, I'm tired of being pushed
aside.
87
00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:01,340
I understand, Arnold, but there are
other ways to prove you're a man besides
88
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,280
fighting a big starker like Carvelli.
89
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:09,790
Mr. Carter, sometimes a man has to stand
up for himself even though he knows
90
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:11,330
he's going to land flat on his back.
91
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:13,910
Haven't you ever felt like that?
92
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:22,450
Arnold, if you really think that you
have to do this, I'm behind you.
93
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:29,230
Mr. Carter, how can I take this report
card home and show it to my mom?
94
00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:31,010
That woman's a saint.
95
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:34,020
Now remember, your mother the saint.
96
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,020
You're going to be upset, huh?
97
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,960
You probably got no idea what it feels
like to get hit with beads.
98
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,940
Vinnie, do you think that I enjoy
failing you?
99
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,940
Yeah, that's how you teachers get your
jollies.
100
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,960
Well, I don't. Vinnie, you shouldn't be
failing. You're a kid with brains.
101
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:03,120
Look, man, if you don't get it together,
you're going to get left back.
102
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:05,460
Now, how would your mother like that?
103
00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:07,720
Oh, no, she wouldn't like that.
104
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,880
Vinnie, I want to help you. I just don't
know what to do.
105
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,320
Hey, how about if I got you a tutor?
106
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:16,060
Somebody to work with you after school.
107
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,620
Hey, believe me, it's not going to be
that bad.
108
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,240
All right.
109
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:27,280
But is there any way we could do this
without books?
110
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:34,700
You see, when I look at you, I see a
sensitive, bright, energetic kid that
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00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,500
lot more going for him than muscle. You
see that? Where?
112
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:39,160
Where is that guy? Show me where.
113
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:41,760
I'll show you where that guy is.
114
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:44,100
That guy is in here.
115
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,320
And that guy is in here.
116
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:48,880
Yeah, well, how about right here?
117
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,840
There's nothing in there, Juan.
118
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,040
It's empty.
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00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:01,800
they called box play.
120
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:06,060
Face of Washington, you're not that
good.
121
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:10,600
There are guys right here in Buchanan
who are better than you. Like who? Who?
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00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,000
Who? Who? Who? Who?
123
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,720
Me. You?
124
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,760
Hey, man, you better stay away from that
blackboard. I think you must have
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00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,760
sniffed too much of that chocolate.
126
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,380
Hey, I'm serious, Freddy.
127
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:27,200
Basketball is my game. And I'm
challenging you. One -on -one. Just you,
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00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:27,879
the basketball.
129
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,740
Hey. Mr. Cotty, I mean, you're out of
shape, man. Dig yourself, man. If you
130
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:34,080
a building, you'd be condemned.
131
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,240
315 today, 20 -point game.
132
00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:41,839
Okay, Mr.
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00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,840
Kamikaze.
134
00:16:43,940 --> 00:16:45,600
Why don't you put your money where your
mouth is?
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00:16:45,940 --> 00:16:47,000
20 bucks say I win.
136
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,720
Hey, you know I'm not going to play you
for money.
137
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,540
Hey, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
138
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:57,700
If I win, you take the makeup.
139
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:01,070
And if I win, you pass me.
140
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:03,170
I can't do that.
141
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,550
Hey, you can do anything, man. You're
the teacher.
142
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,450
You gotta bet.
143
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,780
I don't think he has much more time.
144
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:52,940
Hi there.
145
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,060
Least you could do is sweat.
146
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:00,520
I did.
147
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:04,040
Hey, look, I'm ready to take that makeup
test if you still want me to.
148
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,400
Hey, I'm no Welcher.
149
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,080
You win.
150
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,100
You beat me 20 to 16. You passed.
151
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,520
Nah, man, that was no beating, man. You
scored 16 points off of me. I mean, you.
152
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,940
I mean, you're almost twice my age, man.
153
00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:19,880
I mean, you're old enough to be my...
Older cousin.
154
00:18:23,660 --> 00:18:24,660
Look, I've been thinking.
155
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,480
Maybe I don't have that contract all
sewn up with the Knicks yet, but I just
156
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,740
think I better be covering all my bases.
157
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,480
I think that's a smart move, Freddie.
158
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,360
You know, man, do something else.
159
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,720
I mean, you really surprised me down
there today.
160
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,200
Yeah. Yeah, you still play pretty good.
You still...
161
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:44,550
Yeah, I got it.
162
00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:48,610
But I can't get it off the couch.
163
00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:53,170
That was a very nice thing you did.
164
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:57,750
I can't think of anybody else who could
have done that kind of thing with our
165
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:58,750
talents.
166
00:18:59,130 --> 00:19:00,530
Hey, you know, it's mutual.
167
00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:02,290
I mean, I learned a lot from you guys,
too.
168
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:06,830
It's like one hand washes the other. Not
in my family.
169
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:09,310
Listen,
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00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:11,110
thanks to the Swalogs, I'm here today.
171
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,480
Remember the day I almost got fired?
172
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:14,740
Oh, yeah.
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00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:17,200
Ah, what a wonderful day that was.
174
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:22,480
I mean, I think that they should be
here.
175
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:23,740
I see.
176
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,280
Mr.
177
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,900
Marmot, there's a meeting going on here.
178
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:40,360
Hey, Macca, when you hired the Linguini
brothers to work...
179
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,800
The Linguini Brothers real work.
180
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,400
Hey, Red Moseal.
181
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,260
That's all right, Guido.
182
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:51,140
This is absurd. What could be more
ridiculous than this?
183
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:27,250
my sweat hog.
184
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:31,570
That's Moe, Larry, Curly, and that's
Raquel.
185
00:20:34,070 --> 00:20:37,490
Mr. Cotter, is there anything you'd like
to say in your own behalf?
186
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:39,310
Certainly.
187
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:42,890
Miss Riley, I'm a teacher.
188
00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:45,930
That's what it says on my locker. Mr.
Cotter, teacher.
189
00:20:46,610 --> 00:20:49,210
And I'm teaching a group of kids known
as sweat hogs.
190
00:20:49,430 --> 00:20:52,650
Now, contrary to popular opinion, sweat
hogs are not dumb.
191
00:20:53,290 --> 00:20:56,890
I mean, a dumb person does not think of
a way to make it rain in the gymnasium.
192
00:20:58,690 --> 00:20:59,690
I did that.
193
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:07,210
Unfortunately, normal teaching methods
don't seem to work for these kids.
194
00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:09,810
I mean, if they did, well, then they
wouldn't be sweat hogs.
195
00:21:10,490 --> 00:21:13,450
Don't you see? They're going to have to
survive in the world of the future.
196
00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:17,510
And if they learn how to learn, well,
then they'll be able to survive
197
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:28,370
Copies of this speech can be obtained by
writing... Guys,
198
00:21:31,550 --> 00:21:33,610
I don't know what to say. I'm
overwhelmed.
199
00:21:34,130 --> 00:21:35,150
And underpaid.
200
00:21:36,050 --> 00:21:37,650
Just a little joke, Mr. Woodman.
201
00:21:39,570 --> 00:21:42,270
This is great, you know, talking about
the memories and all that stuff.
202
00:21:42,490 --> 00:21:45,190
But I mean, I think it would be nice if
we went to see that movie that you
203
00:21:45,190 --> 00:21:46,089
promised us.
204
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:47,090
Yeah.
205
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,320
I mean, after all, you should pay us
back for the watch we were going to give
206
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,460
you. Ah, Vincent, you gave away the
surprise, yes.
207
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,880
What are you talking about? I didn't
know a surprise. I knew about it for a
208
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:01,360
week. A watch? You got me a watch? Well,
you shouldn't have.
209
00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:03,100
Yeah, well, we didn't.
210
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:06,600
We sent these lady sweat hogs out to buy
something nice, and that's what they
211
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,539
came back with.
212
00:22:07,540 --> 00:22:10,120
So here you go, Mr. Carter, and don't
worry about dropping it.
213
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,100
Oh, is it shock resistant?
214
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,540
No, it's cheap.
215
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,820
watch that 575 can buy.
216
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,920
Well, look, it doesn't matter how much
it costs. It's the thought that counts.
217
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,360
Hey, you guys, for Mr. Carter.
218
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:47,480
This reminds me of a little story my
Uncle Morris once told me. Oh.
219
00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:54,940
He's taking me on to stories.
220
00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,360
There's two women. Every time they story
about my Uncle Morris, she went hot and
221
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,360
he was on the phone.
222
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,140
Welcome back.
223
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,300
Your dreams were your ticket out.
224
00:23:29,260 --> 00:23:35,220
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
225
00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:39,700
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
226
00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:44,200
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
227
00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:50,100
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
228
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:52,360
where we need ya. Back here.
229
00:23:57,339 --> 00:23:59,100
Welcome back.
230
00:23:59,580 --> 00:24:01,880
Welcome back.
231
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,340
Welcome back.
232
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,480
Welcome back. Welcome back.
233
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,900
We all went to spot a friend.
234
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,140
Welcome back.
235
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,860
And I smile when I think how we must
have been.
236
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,440
And I know what a scene you were
learning in.
18961
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