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1
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,520
Mr. Carter, I'm really worried.
2
00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:15,280
Horshack's been gone for two days now. I
don't know where he is.
3
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,320
Yeah, that's right, Mr. Carter.
4
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,260
I mean, Arnold, he ain't never been
absent.
5
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:21,639
I know.
6
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:22,640
I'm worried, too.
7
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I think he must have a problem in his
personal life.
8
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,560
Ah, come on, Mr. Carter.
9
00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:30,580
You know Arnold ain't got no personal
life.
10
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:33,960
Hey,
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Mr.
12
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,640
Carter.
13
00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:42,800
How do you become a father?
14
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,680
Father? Well, you got to meet a girl
that you like, and then you, well, you
15
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:56,040
of... I don't have to start a family.
16
00:00:56,500 --> 00:01:02,640
I've already got one. You see, my
mother's fifth husband, Mr. O 'Hara,
17
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,619
other day.
18
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:04,900
Just like that.
19
00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:09,870
Sitting in his taxi in the middle of a
traffic jam on the Long Island
20
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:16,570
Expressway, the man fell on his horn,
gave one final
21
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:22,790
toot, and went to that great white taxi
stand in the sky.
22
00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:25,850
Sorry, Arnold.
23
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:28,370
I know how it feels to lose a loved one.
24
00:01:29,470 --> 00:01:34,750
Hey, Arnold, you remember, if you need
anything at all, I mean anything at all,
25
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,540
You can count on me.
26
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,340
Freddy. Can do.
27
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:40,920
Washington.
28
00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,380
Yeah. Hey, Arnold.
29
00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:48,380
Arnold.
30
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,500
It's gonna be okay, buddy, you know.
31
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Hey.
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00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,440
You got friends here.
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Oh, little one.
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00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,760
What do I know about being a father?
Well, see, Mr. Carter, it's like this
35
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,960
came to me, and it said, Arnold!
36
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000
Arnold!
37
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,240
It's time to grow up!
38
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:31,760
And I said, can I ask Mr. Carter first?
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00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:35,900
And the voice said, it couldn't hurt!
40
00:02:37,420 --> 00:02:40,560
So I'm asking, Mr.
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Carter,
42
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Is it time for me to grow up?
43
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Arnold, I think you already have.
44
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,240
Welcome back.
45
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,400
Your dreams were your ticket out.
46
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:25,300
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
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00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,740
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
48
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,280
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
49
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:40,020
Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Who'd
have thought they'd need ya? We're here
50
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where we need ya.
51
00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:49,030
Yeah, we tease him a lot, cause we got
him on the spot. Welcome back.
52
00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:53,350
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome
back.
53
00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:13,409
Hey, Mom.
54
00:04:13,410 --> 00:04:14,410
Hiya, Arnold.
55
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Don't look.
56
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It'll spoil your appetite.
57
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,050
Too late.
58
00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:22,930
Hey, Mom.
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00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:27,970
Being your eldest son, I think the time
has come for you and I to have a talk.
60
00:04:28,190 --> 00:04:29,670
Fine. First at the table.
61
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,410
Guess who followed me home again?
62
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:38,710
No, no, Bloomberg. He's right outside
that door. Somebody please get rid of
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I'll boil some water.
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00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:43,859
take care of this.
65
00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:45,240
Now, look here, fella.
66
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:48,000
I'm Judy's big bro. Hello, Ronald.
67
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:55,240
So, what say you come over on Saturday?
68
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:58,780
Come early. Plan to spend the whole day.
69
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,200
Listen, Arnold, I'm planning a headache
on Saturday so you can go out with him.
70
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,630
You know, Judy, sometimes you are such a
Such a nudge.
71
00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:17,690
You don't see your little sister giving
me such aggravation, do you? No, sirree.
72
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,570
She's sitting there on the floor crying.
73
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Crying.
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Doris.
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00:05:26,890 --> 00:05:29,170
Hey. Hey, Doris.
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00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:30,730
Don't cry.
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00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,450
Your wedding...
78
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:40,880
feel bad about Mr.
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00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:43,380
O 'Hara, but people die.
80
00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:47,020
Accepting that is part of growing up.
81
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:48,920
Well, I don't feel bad about him,
Arnold.
82
00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,900
We've had better fathers.
83
00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,060
So, what's wrong?
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00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,400
Arnold, remember that story you told me
about how the ugly duckling turned into
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00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,440
a swan? Well,
86
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,160
it ain't working.
87
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,400
Laura Swan, so will everybody else.
88
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,820
Arnold, do you really...
89
00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:18,510
Something I'd like to talk about. Ma,
what are these lumpy things?
90
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,730
Gravy.
91
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:24,370
Listen, everybody, there's something I
would like to discuss here.
92
00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:27,210
Well, I ain't eating these mashed
potatoes. Not me, boy.
93
00:07:57,870 --> 00:07:58,870
Clam up.
94
00:07:59,050 --> 00:08:01,410
But you just never listen to me.
95
00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:03,010
You should.
96
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,490
I might have something to say.
97
00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,270
Do you understand?
98
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:09,930
Yeah.
99
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,850
You said clam up to your mother.
100
00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:26,610
Not even Manny's father, the crumb, ever
said clam
101
00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:27,850
up. Up to your mother.
102
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:33,710
My father wasn't the crumb. Judy's
father was the crumb. He was not. Of
103
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,549
not. Mr. Lutz was a very nice man.
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00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:40,950
Mom, my father was Mr. Lutz. My father
was Mr. Templeton. Okay, so I'm not so
105
00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:42,250
terrific at names, okay?
106
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:48,630
You are not exactly a wizard selecting
men, either.
107
00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:08,050
for me.
108
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:14,990
You think I enjoy hauling that cocktail
dress out of the mothballs?
109
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,910
Mothballs? That's what we're eating, the
lumpy things, the mothballs.
110
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:25,370
Nobody's going to give me the kind of
job that will support this family. I've
111
00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:27,190
got to find another husband.
112
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:51,020
You should meet somebody that you really
and truly love.
113
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,240
Who would be more delighted than I?
114
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:58,620
But, Ma, you do not have to go out and
get married again to find somebody to
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00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:03,740
take care of us. Because from now on,
Ma, I will.
116
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,920
Cocktail dress needs taking up.
117
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:33,180
Or letting down.
118
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:35,980
Or throwing out.
119
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,480
Ma, ma, ma!
120
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,840
You're not listening.
121
00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:43,740
Hold it!
122
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:45,880
Everybody finish eating!
123
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,540
You done, you done, you done.
124
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:55,220
Well, I ain't gonna eat my mashed
potato's brillo head.
125
00:10:57,540 --> 00:11:00,420
Eat. Your mashed potatoes.
126
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,340
Make me horse face.
127
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,480
Your wish is my command.
128
00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:21,520
I'll get you through this, Arnold.
129
00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:25,040
It might be years from now.
130
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,900
I might be the sky.
131
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,180
Just remember, when you least expect it,
expect it.
132
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,780
Go ahead, Arnold.
133
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,740
Take over the family.
134
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:49,920
It's okay by me.
135
00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:53,320
Just don't tell me what to do.
136
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,540
I think you can do it, Arnold.
137
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,600
Honest? No.
138
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,080
There is something about me that people
do not take seriously.
139
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,940
Maybe it's my voice.
140
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:16,920
Nah.
141
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,420
It used to be my voice.
142
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,600
Before it changed.
143
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,020
Maybe it's my laugh.
144
00:12:32,650 --> 00:12:38,790
good laugh to me i
145
00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:44,990
was
146
00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:51,210
just practicing what for you do it
perfect hey uh listen i heard about
147
00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:56,690
number five kicking off i'm sorry i
guess you grow up when you have to huh
148
00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:07,530
Hey, you know, I checked the want ads
this morning. The one thing that nobody
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00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:08,830
wants is me.
150
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,350
So you'll become independently wealthy.
151
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:14,710
You got any rich relatives?
152
00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:16,150
I don't got any relatives.
153
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:19,710
Except for... Nah.
154
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,250
Nah? Nah who?
155
00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:27,090
Nah who is my Uncle Harry Horshack. Oh,
he used to have this terrific costume
156
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,330
store on DeKalb Avenue.
157
00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:30,430
Horshack's Costume City.
158
00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:46,350
I haven't seen my uncle Harry in 15
years.
159
00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:48,770
I wonder if he still remembers me.
160
00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:53,050
Arnold, believe me, you're hard to
forget.
161
00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:01,730
You know, it's really easy talking with
you, Goldie.
162
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:08,110
You may not believe this, but I get very
tongue -tied around most girls.
163
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,000
I didn't know you.
164
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,060
You're different.
165
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:17,140
Thank you, Arnold.
166
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:18,760
That were you.
167
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,920
Arnold, Arnold, are you up there? You're
up here, Ma.
168
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:45,250
Eyelashes? Ma, you haven't worn your
fourth eyelashes since your last
169
00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:49,070
Yeah, I'm going with my friend Wanda
over to the bowling alley.
170
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,930
Ma, who's in that bowl?
171
00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:55,350
Arnold.
172
00:14:56,070 --> 00:15:00,990
Father number six might be bowling lane
number seven.
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00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,620
Your mother is a very strange lady.
174
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,640
Yeah.
175
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,300
Well, look, I'd better go see about that
job, Goldie, before Cinderella meets
176
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,560
Prince Charming.
177
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,720
Well, wish me luck, Goldie. Good luck,
Arnold. Arnold Horsack!
178
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,220
Can't get out of here!
179
00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:42,780
Oh.
180
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,420
This... To some swanky store.
181
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,980
My Uncle Harry must be doing real good.
182
00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:53,260
Oh, I'm sorry.
183
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:55,520
May I help you?
184
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,480
Hello?
185
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,140
How are you?
186
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,540
I'm Arnold Horschak.
187
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,320
Harry Horschak's nephew.
188
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,720
There's no H.
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00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,580
Harry Horschak.
190
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,520
President of Horschak's of Fifth Avenue.
191
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,080
And Mr. Horschak doesn't see anyone
without an appointment.
192
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,640
Oh.
193
00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,780
Thank you.
194
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,220
Oh, look at that.
195
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,180
Pretty.
196
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,880
I'm terribly sorry, H .O.
197
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,319
It's not that easy to get a job. Come
here. Let me show you something.
198
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,560
Look out that window, Arthur.
199
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:12,079
Arnold.
200
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,140
See all those little people down there
on Fifth Avenue?
201
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:16,540
Uh -huh.
202
00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:19,640
I stepped on all of those people to get
up here.
203
00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:24,180
Wouldn't it have been easier to take an
elevator?
204
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:27,800
You're a nice kid.
205
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:30,580
The nice kids finish last.
206
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,280
This kid's a winner.
207
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,600
I'm a shark.
208
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:41,540
I'm one of the sharks of this world that
devour people like you, Otto.
209
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:45,620
Arnold.
210
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,920
My name is Arnold.
211
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,820
Arnold Horschak. I pronounce the H, Mr.
Horschak.
212
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:58,580
I'm very proud of my name. Horschak is a
very old and respected name.
213
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,320
It means the cattle are dying.
214
00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:12,330
Horshack's Costume City on DeKalb Avenue
in Brooklyn?
215
00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:17,230
Leonard. Yes, sir? Would you go spy on
somebody for me, please? Whatever you
216
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,230
say.
217
00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:21,170
Arnold.
218
00:18:22,630 --> 00:18:26,430
There never was a Horshack's Costume
City on DeKalb Avenue.
219
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:29,930
Never. Oh, sure there was, Uncle Harry.
220
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,150
Don't you remember the last time I saw
you?
221
00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:36,310
Oh, you was dressed in a chicken suit.
222
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:47,740
If you can forget that you ever saw me
dressed in a chicken suit, you've got a
223
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:48,740
job.
224
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:50,740
Oh, thank you.
225
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:56,360
Arnold, you remind me of me when I was a
young man.
226
00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:00,500
If you ever tell that to anybody, I'm
going to rip your heart out.
227
00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,190
Hey, Ma, I got a job.
228
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:24,330
I got to the bowling alley.
229
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,350
I met a farmer named Augie Farnsworth.
230
00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:35,050
He might be a lousy date, but he could
make a wonderful father.
231
00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:05,650
section of Brooklyn.
232
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:09,750
Now you listen to me, young lady. One
more word out of you and you're going to
233
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,350
bed without any supper. We already had
supper.
234
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:15,770
Then you'll never have it again.
235
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:26,970
Come on, you guys.
236
00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:28,870
What do you say we give the kid a break?
237
00:20:29,930 --> 00:20:30,930
Okay.
238
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:34,370
Arnold, I think we can do a little
business.
239
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,720
I'll give you a shot at this man -of
-the -house trip if you promise to stop
240
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:40,720
tucking me in at night.
241
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,820
Can I keep on saying goodnight, little
buckaroo?
242
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,700
You got a deal.
243
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,620
Oh, thank you, Manny.
244
00:20:54,880 --> 00:21:00,060
Hey, listen, you guys. I know I'm not
the only one growing up here.
245
00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:01,740
We're all growing up.
246
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,600
Except for Ma, of course.
247
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:10,050
asking for your help.
248
00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:12,650
Please.
249
00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:14,630
Oh, Arnold.
250
00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:17,890
Thank you, Judy.
251
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:19,770
Hey, Ma, did you hear?
252
00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:21,590
Arnold got a job today.
253
00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,890
Yeah. Yeah, with my Uncle Harry
Horshack.
254
00:21:26,470 --> 00:21:28,350
Harry Horshack.
255
00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:30,970
Harry Horshack.
256
00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:37,130
If that man had had his way, I never
would have married your father.
257
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:40,160
Because your mother's got a talent for
making things work.
258
00:22:45,540 --> 00:22:46,960
You don't, Ma.
259
00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:51,140
You really don't.
260
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,460
Hey, Arnold, you expecting it? Expecting
what?
261
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,140
Arnold, you're back, huh? Yeah.
262
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,880
I didn't see your uncle fire you.
263
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:17,600
Oh, contraire, little friend.
264
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:23,120
You are gazing upon a lurking sweat hog.
All right.
265
00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:28,040
Hey, you know, Arnold, you getting a job
could mean suspension from the sweat
266
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,240
hogs. It's only part -time.
267
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:35,040
My uncle Harry is going to teach me
everything he knows about the business
268
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,460
world. I'm going to be a shark.
269
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,200
Hey, Arnold.
270
00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:45,550
I don't quite picture you as a shark.
You know, I sort of look on you as a
271
00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:46,550
guppy.
272
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:49,430
Hey, oh, hey.
273
00:23:50,050 --> 00:23:51,050
Welcome back.
274
00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:53,330
Classroom hasn't been the same without
you.
275
00:23:53,830 --> 00:23:55,030
Thank you, Mr. Carter.
276
00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:57,510
You know, I never thought I'd miss...
Well,
277
00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:01,950
now that you're here, business as usual.
278
00:24:02,270 --> 00:24:05,090
Everything's back to normal. Well, not
quite normal, Mr. Carter.
279
00:24:05,550 --> 00:24:08,630
I got a part -time job working in my
Uncle Harry's store.
280
00:24:09,270 --> 00:24:10,530
You're working for your uncle? Yeah.
281
00:24:10,910 --> 00:24:12,590
Did I ever tell you about the time I was
working for my uncle?
282
00:24:12,890 --> 00:24:13,890
Welcome back.
283
00:24:32,990 --> 00:24:35,750
Your dreams were your ticket out.
284
00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:38,130
Welcome back.
285
00:24:38,990 --> 00:24:42,670
To that same old place that you laughed
about.
286
00:24:43,570 --> 00:24:47,170
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
287
00:24:47,910 --> 00:24:51,650
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
288
00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:54,810
Who'd have thought they'd need ya?
289
00:24:55,030 --> 00:25:00,370
Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Back
here where we need ya. Back here where
290
00:25:00,370 --> 00:25:06,330
we need ya. We tease him a lot. Cause we
got him on the spot. Welcome back.
291
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:13,720
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back
Welcome back, welcome back
21443
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