All language subtitles for welcome_back_kotter_s02e10_horshack_vs_carvelli

Uncle Herman. Hi, it's Gabe. Listen, I'm
glad I caught you.

I got a problem. Julie's going to be
home in five minutes and I don't have a

joke to tell her.

Have you done anything funny lately?

Have you heard anything funny lately?

You heard about a guy who crossed a
beaver and an elephant?

He doesn't know what he got, but you
should see the size of the dams it

Anything else? Come on.

What?

You were so paranoid once, if you went
to a football game and the players got

into a huddle, you would think they were
talking about you.

Come on, Uncle Herman, give me the A
material.

Oh, you knew a guy that was so mean, he
used to train homing pigeons and then

move.

Come on, Uncle Herman, she's going to be
right home. Give me a good one. A joke,

a limerick, a...

knock, knock, anything, a riddle. Come
on, Herman. I'm desperate.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old...

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Look, all I know is that the Silver
Gloves boxing match is on Friday, right?

Yeah. And Covelli is fighting for New
York, right? Man, I've been waiting all

year. To get my hands on that confetti.
I want them. I want them. I want them.

Mellow out one. Mellow out.

And listen.

I know that you want them. Yeah. Well,
you all want them, right? Yeah.

But we've got to do it the democratic
way, okay?

All right. All right.

One potato.

Two potato.

Three potato.

Four.

Five potato. Hey, what happened to my
potato?

You forgot my potato.

I'm a sweetheart, too, you know. Don't I
get a chance?

A chance to what, die?

Cabelli's a gorilla.

Yeah, well, I could be a gorilla. Come
on, it's a matter of integrity.

You see, the guy who fights Cabelli, you
know, he's got to be strong and he's

got to be clever. Yeah. I'm strong.

You're strong, right? You get your
little sister to carry your books to

You call that strong?

No, I call that clever.

Cool, because we've got more important
decisions to make right now, right?

we've got to make decisions a little
often. Yeah, let's make decisions. Hey,

Arnold, Arnold, Arnold.

No one's saying you're not one of the
boys. I mean, you are.

But Friday at 3 .30, whoever faces off
against Covelli has got to be a man.

I'm a man. Only by technicality.

A very small technicality.

but I am not the slightest bit upset by
all this.

Anna,

why are you so upset?

Because my dignity has been attacked.

My core has been shaken. I have been
totally humiliated.

Oh, I thought it was something serious.

I'm only kidding, Arnold. Okay, okay.
What's the problem?

Mr. Carter, this is no little thing.

I am a sweat hog. I got my rights.

As much right as any other sweat hog to
get into the ring with Carvelli on

Friday.

You want to fight Carvelli?

Arnold, when did you first notice this
need to do away with yourself?

Arnold, look, you're not a fighter. I
mean, you've got other good points.

You're smart.

You're charming.

You're fun to be around.

You forgot my lilting laugh.

Fun to be around?

Look, if the guys don't want you to
fight Carvelli, it's just because

looking after you.

Hey, hey, here comes Carvelli. Here
comes Carvelli.

Yeah, yeah, that little chump Murray.

Well, well, well, if it ain't the
sweatpokes.

Well, if it ain't the sweatpokes.

Jumping rope, Carvelli?

What's the matter? You tear your dress
when you was playing hopscotch?

That's funny.

Just so happens I'm in training.

Toilet training?

Toilet training!

I love that one.

I didn't hear that, Epstein.

He asked if you was in toilet training,
Chief.

Which one of you guys is going to be the
lucky corpse, huh? You?

Well, it better not be me, Covelli,
because I'm half Puerto Rican, half

So what?

So, how would you like to get bar
mitzvahed with a hubcap?

You can't talk to my man like that.

Your man?

Well, you better stick close to your
man, Murray, because after Friday, you

won't be sponging him down.

You'll be wheeling him around. Yeah!

sound exactly like the guy that I fought
last year.

He's in the Guinness Book of World
Records.

Under pain.

You don't scare us, Covelli. Any one of
my boys here could make you feel like

you've just been through a blender.

Yeah. How would you like it if we
frappé'd your face?

I didn't hear that, Horshack.

He asked if you liked your face,
Covelli.

I heard it.

Hey, cough. Reveille, I sure hope you
ain't allergic to canvas because that's

what you're going to be spending Friday.

I want you.

You do this right. You do it like this.

Beam, my name's Barbarino.

I say the bop, bop, bop.

Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.

It's enough of this top 40 stuff.

looking at. The guy challenged me and I
accepted.

What do you want me to do? Run away?

Hide out in some foreign country?

Okay, we narrowed it down to two foreign
countries.

Afghanistan and Newark.

Newark, huh?

I'd rather fight Covelli.

Yeah, and end up in an emergency ward.

Look, I gave my word.

Arnold, you can always take back your
word.

You can't take back your teeth.

I don't care.

How would you like to get hit in the
stomach so many times that it packs up

looks for a new body?

I don't care.

That's the way it's going to be, the
sound of that bell.

All right, you guys stay here for a
minute. The rest of you read chapter 14

tomorrow. We always read chapter 14.

And read chapter 7 twice.

All right, I don't understand how you
let Arnold get himself involved in this.

We tried to talk him out of it, but he
wouldn't listen to us. One minute he was

Arnold Horschak, the next minute, the
Great White Hope.

Mr. Carter, I got it all figured out.

I'm going to have the kid come down with
that bubonic plague.

Hey, don't you guys ever listen to me?

I am fighting Carvelli.

Stop it, Arnold. I'm not fighting
anybody.

You hear that? I don't want to hear any
more about this boxing and this stupid

silver gloves competition.

Oh, Carter, about this silver gloves
boxing match, we'll get back on Friday.

We're going to need a real powerhouse in
there against Carvelli.

Would you settle for a power failure?

Now, listen, we've had these boxing
matches for the past 20 years, and you

how many times Buchanan has won?

None. That's not true, Mr. Whitman.
Bonzo Moretti won once.

Eating your opponent doesn't count.

Every vice principal has some sort of
trophy. I want that trophy.

But don't worry about it, Mr. Whitman.
One of us already volunteered to box.

You have?

Farberino, I'm proud of you. Go in there
and win that trophy.

But it ain't me.

Epstein, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of
you too, Mr. Woodman.

But I ain't gonna fight him.

Watch it.

Strike three, Mr. Woodman.

Who is it?

Horshack wants to be the one to fight
Carvella.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm serious, Mr. Woodman.

Horshack?

Horshack.

Horshack?

I don't... You're a warped person.

You're doing this just to deprive me of
my trophy.

You were warped then.

You're warped now.

This has gone far enough.

I'm calling it off.

Call it off?

Mr. Carter, you can't call it off.

Listen, all my life, people have been
trying to push me aside.

Arnold, go to your room.

Arnold, go outside and play.

Arnold, we'll meet you after school.

Mr. Carter, I'm tired of being pushed
aside.

I understand, Arnold, but there are
other ways to prove you're a man besides

fighting a big starker like Carvelli.

Mr. Carter, sometimes a man has to stand
up for himself even though he knows

he's going to land flat on his back.

Haven't you ever felt like that?

Yeah, once.

It was this girl.

You wanted to fight a girl.

No, there was this girl I really liked.

Her name was Leilani Shapiro.

Went out together a few times.

One day, this guy comes up to me, big,
heavyweight, jock type.

He told me that he was Leilani's
boyfriend, and if I would continue to

he was going to rearrange my face.

I thought about it. I thought about it a
lot, what he said, and I knew he was

going to do what he said.

So I called up Leilani, and I told her I
couldn't see her anymore.

And how did that make you feel?

How'd that make me feel?

I felt like... Arnold, if you really

think that you have to do this, I'm
behind you.

How you doing, Freddy?

How you doing, Mr. Cocktail?

Now, you know it should be one of us
fighting Covelli.

I mean, they're betting Horshack gonna
live through the weigh -in.

This is not a street fight. This is a
sport.

It's a ring, a referee, and padded
gloves.

He's gonna get killed.

Not in a ring.

But, Freddy, if he tries to prove
himself in some alley, he might.

Hey, Mr. Cocktail.

Who was that guy with the mustache and
the crummy jokes?

Said something about fighting gets you
nowhere.

That was me.

Right. And I still believe it.

But this is a special case.

Hey, congratulations, Otto.

You took ten minutes off yesterday's
mile.

I know.

The last eight blocks, I took a cab.

Carvelli's in two days. You've got to
build up your endurance.

Yeah, Mr. Cotty. You work on his
endurance, and I'll go light a candle.

See you later, Freddy. Bye -bye. Bye
-bye. Have a good time.

All right, Arnold.

Let's start out with some calisthenics.
Okay.

Now, I want to build you up. When you
meet Carvelli, be in good shape. All

right, now, first thing we're going to
do is push -ups. Push -ups, yeah. We're

going to do the hard cons. You've got to
clap in the middle, okay?

Okay. Now, watch me. Get down.

Do your push -up.

Clap in the middle. Okay.

What I want to work on now is something
that's really important.

Psyching out your opponent.

Now, all good fighters do this, okay?

Now, I want you to pretend I'm Carvelli,
all right? Now, the ref is introducing

us in the ring.

Now, I want you to give me a cold, angry
stare. Put it right through me, okay?

People are going to say you're the
silliest fighter they've ever seen.

Until now.

Mr. Woodburn, what are you doing here?

Not Woodburn, Connor. The one upon me
kid.

I want to give Horschak here a few
quarters.

What do you know about boxing? Are you
kidding, Connor? Why, in my day, I

shredded the likes of Butch Crawford,
Bobo Arsini, Mimi Finkelstein.

Mimi Finkelstein.

A killer, Connor.

Let's pretend this is the ring, okay?
Okay, yeah. All right.

Now, I want you to make sure of one
thing.

When you lead, you always lead with your
left. Lead with your left.

Your other left.

Now, protect your body with your right.

What do you want to do? Try to get the
kid killed? Of course, you have to keep

your left close to your body.

Now, put your right out, way out.

That's it.

That's directed, Mr. Woodman, if he was
a lawn ornament.

Stop it, Arnold.

These are the basic stance I want you to
have, right? Okay.

This is how you look. This way you won't
get hurt too bad. Okay.

On your toes all the time. I think
Carvelli can slip in a right cross.

Come on, Mr. Woman. If Arnold is like
this, how is Carvelli going to slip in a

right cross? Like this.

May I have your attention, please?

Before we begin today's ballot, I would
like to introduce one of the past Silver

Glove contenders from Buchanan High who
went on to fame sitting at ringside from

1955,

Dino Crazy Delaney.

And

now

in this corner,

Wearing purple trunks, weighing 165
pounds and foaming at the mouth.

From the Utrecht High, Killer Carbelly.

And in this corner, wearing baggy trunks
and a look of

absolute terror at 127 pounds.

I say, dear Covelli, please excuse
Arnold for this fight.

He's allergic to traction.

This is the moment of truth for Arnold
Horschak.

Try not to kill him.

As far as we're concerned, you're the
gold medal kid with the heavyweight

Yeah, yeah.

You made us proud of these red hogs. Oh,
Freddie, I didn't win.

Arnold, you won as soon as you got into
that ring.

After that, it was just a question of
who got the trophy.

And we all know who that is.

Oh, you did terrific. Everybody's proud
of you. Oh, did I ever tell you about my

uncle who was a fighter?

Slapsy Maxie Cotter. No, I don't think
so.

Oh, he was great. He used to eat a pound
of pickled herring before every fight.

Did that make him a better fighter?

No, but he knocked out his opponents
with his breath.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya?

Back here where we need ya.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.