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1
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,600
Hi, honey, I brought your lunch.
2
00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,600
Oh, thank you. You're welcome.
3
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,480
Did I ever tell you about my uncle who
thought he was a horse?
4
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,320
Sounds like your family.
5
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:15,920
My uncle thought he was a horse, so my
aunt went to see a doctor. She had to
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00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,140
him some help. She said, doctor, my
husband thinks he's a horse. He sleeps
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standing up, he eats oats, he neighs, he
whinnies.
8
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Doctor said, well, I'll have to see him.
Bring him in Thursday at 3.
9
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:29,000
She said, Thursday at 3? I can't. He's
running into 4th at Pimlico.
10
00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:43,950
Welcome back.
11
00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:48,030
Your dreams were your ticket out.
12
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:54,950
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
13
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:59,390
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
14
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:03,970
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
15
00:01:04,989 --> 00:01:09,830
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
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00:01:09,830 --> 00:01:12,010
where we need ya. Back here.
17
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:18,680
We got him on the spot. Welcome back.
18
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:23,040
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.
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00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,880
You still got that stomachache?
20
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,420
What stomachache? Just making myself
Alka -Seltzer egg cream.
21
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:57,300
Mr. Carter, how many times do we gotta
tell you you do not eat in the school
22
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cafeteria when they serve fish
croquettes?
23
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,460
A man never learns, does he? Oh, I know,
Vincent. I don't believe you. It's like
24
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,880
conversing with a stone warrior.
25
00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:12,900
Mr. Carter, does our tummy feel funny?
26
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,940
No, Mr. Tusak, my tummy is not funny.
27
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:19,860
My ribs are ticklish.
28
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This is the third time this week we've
brought Fizz Fizz in our thermos.
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Do you have a stomach ache?
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No, there's nothing wrong with me.
31
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I just happen to like Fizz Fizz.
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It's yum yum.
33
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Well, you are in luck, Mr. Cotter. A
doctor from the free clinic will be
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00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:42,460
visiting the school to give free
physical exams to everybody.
35
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,220
Oh, I know. My wife has been working at
the clinic.
36
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,680
She's one of their volunteers.
37
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She brings me home these pamphlets to
read.
38
00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:51,320
No one likes a carrier.
39
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,340
You and your rash.
40
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,100
And trench mouth is nothing to smile at.
41
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:01,480
So true.
42
00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:07,080
But about the program, it's designed to
provide free physical examinations for
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the underprivileged. And nobody is more
underprivileged than your sweat hogs.
44
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:13,830
I hope I can count on your cooperation.
45
00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:16,890
Well, I'll read it to them first thing.
Oh, thank you.
46
00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:18,450
Thank you.
47
00:03:18,510 --> 00:03:19,510
Miss Matusak.
48
00:03:19,810 --> 00:03:20,810
Yes?
49
00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:22,070
I have this friend.
50
00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:24,210
Oh, really?
51
00:03:27,010 --> 00:03:28,810
No, no, no. My friend has a pain.
52
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,510
Oh, where is this pain, Mr. Cotter?
53
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:36,810
Well, it's in a very weird area, right
in between his chest and his stomach.
54
00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:39,810
the reason I say weird is because I
didn't know a person had anything right
55
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:43,830
in between his chest and stomach. Oh,
there are a great many usable things in
56
00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:44,830
that area.
57
00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:48,070
But I'm sure it's just indigestion. See
your doctor.
58
00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:49,690
Oh, that's not me.
59
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,970
It's my friend. I don't have anything
usable in that area.
60
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,610
Maybe it's your diet.
61
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,890
Your body is a temple, you know.
62
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:02,070
Oh, I know. I know. There are lines
around my body every Saturday.
63
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,500
In fact, on Yom Kippur, you need a
ticket to get in.
64
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,660
That's a Jewish holiday. You need
tickets to get in.
65
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,160
Yes, I know.
66
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,520
Mr. Cotter, you are what you eat.
67
00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:26,260
Well, in that case, I could be Julie's
famous tuna casserole.
68
00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:28,380
Nobody would like me.
69
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,980
My wife makes bad tuna casserole. Nobody
likes it. I see.
70
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,640
You know, someday you must try my
chicken -faced soup.
71
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,620
The secret is, you leave in the beak.
72
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,840
You'll get used to it. I've had one for
40 years.
73
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,000
Where did you get this announcement from
the free clinic?
74
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,000
Miss Matusak just gave it to me. She
should never have given it to you. It's
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00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,500
mistake. The last thing this school
needs is a lot of healthy sweat hogs.
76
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:14,000
Come on, Mr. Woodman. Oh, I mean it.
77
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,880
I live for flu season.
78
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,800
Tell your sweat hogs to make
appointments with a veterinarian.
79
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,600
A veterinarian. I've got to tell that to
Principal Lazarus.
80
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:31,680
He'll never get it.
81
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,740
When I tell him, I'll say animal doctor.
82
00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:38,020
Don't you see the joke there, Carter?
Animals, sweat hogs.
83
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:40,780
You're no fun anymore, Carter.
84
00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,180
I was making my potion.
85
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:44,500
Your potion.
86
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,480
laugh at my veterinarian joke.
87
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,200
I'm not laughing at your Jekyll and Hyde
bit.
88
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,460
My Jekyll and Hyde bit was funnier than
your veterinarian. It was not funny. It
89
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:12,040
was much funnier. It was not funny.
90
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:20,560
Good morning.
91
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,160
Hello.
92
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:24,640
Quiet down.
93
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,720
Sit down.
94
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:29,080
Okay. First of all, homeroom
announcements.
95
00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:33,380
Quiet.
96
00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:39,470
The Buchanan Biology Club reports the
discovery of a new fungus.
97
00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:44,450
The school cafeteria will be closed for
lunch until further notice.
98
00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:49,210
This is important.
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00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:53,230
The free clinic is offering free
physical exams to all students.
100
00:06:53,450 --> 00:06:57,630
A doctor will be coming to our school,
so please sign up for your physical.
101
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:08,460
We're trying to teach him not to ooh
-ooh unless it's important.
102
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,060
Oh!
103
00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:15,600
This is important.
104
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:21,760
Mr. Carter, if it is all the same to
you, I don't want to have anything to do
105
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:22,760
with that free clinic.
106
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,180
Why not, Arnold?
107
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:31,460
Because my friend Sheena Rosewater, she
went to that free clinic a
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00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:33,800
perfectly healthy person.
109
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,670
later they told her she was pregnant?
110
00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:43,810
Arnold, I can almost guarantee that that
won't happen to you.
111
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:46,430
Oh, Mr.
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00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:47,890
Carter.
113
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:50,930
What's the matter with you guys?
114
00:07:51,150 --> 00:07:52,850
Are you scared to go to a doctor?
115
00:07:53,230 --> 00:07:57,470
Hey, I don't go to the doctor. I send
people to the doctor.
116
00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:05,330
Personally, I think this examination
stuff is a very good idea.
117
00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:08,490
So I volunteer to examine all the girls.
118
00:08:10,330 --> 00:08:14,710
Vincenzo, you don't examine anybody. You
got it wrong. They examine you.
119
00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:16,410
Oh, that's okay.
120
00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:19,230
Okay, girls, examine me.
121
00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,950
Yo, Mr. Cartier.
122
00:08:24,450 --> 00:08:27,030
I ain't letting no doctor go poking
around me.
123
00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:29,470
I once saw this dude's appendix taken
out.
124
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,850
When did you work in a hospital, Freddy?
125
00:08:32,309 --> 00:08:35,070
I wasn't in a hospital. It was on the
corner of 94th and Lexington.
126
00:08:39,530 --> 00:08:40,530
You want to know why?
127
00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:44,590
Because wherever there's doctors,
there's nurses.
128
00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:50,170
Those white stockings with a seam in the
back, they drive me crazy.
129
00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:57,110
Until now.
130
00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:00,430
Hello, Mrs.
131
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:01,650
Carter.
132
00:09:02,650 --> 00:09:04,210
Checking up on the mister?
133
00:09:07,790 --> 00:09:09,390
He's been with us all morning.
134
00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:10,970
Haven't you?
135
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:16,690
Mr. Cotter, I love to go into your
class. Look at these faces. How
136
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,070
underprivileged. Especially Arnold.
137
00:09:19,610 --> 00:09:21,590
You're under -underprivileged.
138
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,770
Thank you.
139
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:25,910
Hi, honey.
140
00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:32,250
Come on, Mr. Cotter. That's not fair.
We're very impressionable children.
141
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:34,990
Not children.
142
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:40,250
Mrs. Cotter has the medical... forms for
everybody to fill out. The doctor from
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00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,670
the clinic will be here this afternoon.
144
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:43,270
Oh, goody!
145
00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:51,250
It may surprise you ladies to know this,
but these big, bad, brave sweat hogs of
146
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,490
mine are afraid to see the doctor.
147
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:55,670
We never said that.
148
00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:56,910
We never said that.
149
00:09:57,590 --> 00:10:01,830
Okay, well, if you're so brave, who's
going to be the first to sign up?
150
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:03,870
Somebody?
151
00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:05,630
Anybody?
152
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,280
Arnold, here you go.
153
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:17,180
Oh. I would love to, Mrs. Carter, but
taking a physical means undressing.
154
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:20,080
And no one ever sees my body.
155
00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,180
Not even me.
156
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:28,340
Yeah, Mrs. Carter. Even after gym, he
even showers in his gym clothes.
157
00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:32,540
You might consider taking a shower in
your gym clothes, too, Wanda.
158
00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:42,620
I'm going to say this, all right? I'm
ashamed of you people.
159
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:46,160
It's a simple little thing like a
physical examination.
160
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,760
There's no pain involved here.
161
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,180
Even when they take blood, it's a small
little thing. It doesn't even hurt.
162
00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:53,540
Right, Julie?
163
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,240
How would you know?
164
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,560
How would I know what?
165
00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:01,740
How would you know what it's like to
take a physical? When was the last time
166
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:02,740
had one?
167
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,840
Recently. Recently.
168
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,320
How recently was it?
169
00:11:11,199 --> 00:11:12,199
June, 1954.
170
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,100
Well, I think it's about time that you
took another one.
171
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,940
What about that pain you've been
complaining about?
172
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,640
Yeah, how about it, Mr. Carter? You want
us to take a physical?
173
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,580
You take the first one.
174
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,000
Yes, right. Mr.
175
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,840
Carter's a scary cat.
176
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:31,140
Mr. Carter's a scary cat.
177
00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:38,590
I don't want any more of this
kindergarten behavior here.
178
00:11:38,850 --> 00:11:41,530
I'm an adult. If I want to see a doctor,
I'll see a doctor.
179
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:44,390
And no more of this childish name
-calling either.
180
00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:49,070
Besides, sticks and tones will break my
bones, but names will never hurt.
181
00:11:51,650 --> 00:11:53,570
Sign it. I'm not signing it. Sign it.
182
00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:58,490
Boy, Freddie's been in there with that
doctor a long time.
183
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,440
afraid, Mr.
184
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:08,000
Carter. Everything is going to be all
right, you big palooka.
185
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,360
Hey, Freddy.
186
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,340
Carter's scared. Let's put him on.
187
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:15,560
Oh, okay.
188
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:18,740
Hey,
189
00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:22,240
Freddy. Freddy, what's it like in there,
Freddy, huh?
190
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:28,260
Oh, Barbarina. No, no, no, no. It's me,
Juan, a little Puerto Rican. Oh, it's
191
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,600
terrible in there, man. It's terrible.
192
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:31,480
You see, it's dark in there.
193
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:34,430
Except for this one light blazing on
this metal table.
194
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:39,950
What happens when they get you in there?
195
00:12:40,190 --> 00:12:41,650
Two guys. You can't even see.
196
00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:42,850
They grab you.
197
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,450
And then they strap you down.
198
00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:46,110
And they turn on this machine.
199
00:12:46,690 --> 00:12:47,790
Zap. Wingo.
200
00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:51,290
Spots that fly everywhere. You've got to
help me, horseshit.
201
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:01,760
Do they take blood with a needle?
202
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:03,060
No.
203
00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:06,760
They got a shoebox full of giant
leeches.
204
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:15,400
Where do you think you're going?
205
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:16,660
I'm not going in there.
206
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,640
Gabe, will you stop being such a big
baby?
207
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,240
I resent that. I'm not a baby. I'm a
coward. It's a big difference.
208
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,460
I'm not going to see a doctor.
209
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:26,700
Why not?
210
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:28,780
I don't feel good.
211
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:34,180
Come on, Mr. Carter, you wouldn't
disappoint a bunch of underprivileged
212
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,320
would you?
213
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:39,980
Rather than go into that room with the
leeches and the metal table, you bet
214
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:40,980
boots.
215
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,900
Carter, you're next.
216
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,019
Let's go.
217
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:50,800
No, I'm not going in there. I ain't
going in there. I'm not going in
218
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,020
there. What is this?
219
00:13:52,220 --> 00:13:54,240
Is this some new teaching method,
Carter?
220
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,920
Help me, Mr. Woodman.
221
00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,180
Well, I knew it was just a matter of
time before they turned on you.
222
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:15,730
How do you feel, honey?
223
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:19,190
There's absolutely nothing wrong with
me.
224
00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:22,890
Okay, well, if you're perfectly all
right, why wouldn't you go to the doctor
225
00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:23,890
yesterday?
226
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:26,670
Because if I go to the doctor, I might
find out that I'm sick.
227
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:29,810
I don't go to the doctor, I'm perfectly
all right.
228
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,070
If I'm going to die, I want it to come
as a complete surprise.
229
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,230
Where are you going?
230
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:40,190
I'm going down to the clinic. If you get
hungry, there is something on the stove
231
00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:41,049
for you.
232
00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:43,310
I found a new recipe for chicken -faced
soup.
233
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,840
The secret is you leave the beaks in.
234
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:57,920
Will you chicken faces stop staring at
me?
235
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,540
Hey, Mr. Carter, the way you've been
acting, you really might be sick. Now,
236
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:07,920
don't want some stranger to dare you?
237
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,640
There's nothing wrong with me.
238
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:14,300
Mr. Carter, you ain't got a heart.
239
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:18,740
Epstein, you put those things in your
ears. Oh, yeah, okay, okay.
240
00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:20,380
All right, now cough.
241
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,040
Come on, cough.
242
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:23,760
Cough. Cough.
243
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,300
How long have you had this cough?
244
00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:29,440
Since you got here.
245
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,020
Do you know what you're doing?
246
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,400
Are you kidding?
247
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,580
I notice stuff like the back of my hand.
248
00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:39,380
I never noticed that before.
249
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,200
Okay, horse head.
250
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,280
Dr. Freddy.
251
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:52,840
Carterus erectus.
252
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:54,700
Oh.
253
00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:58,820
You take a real nice picture, Mr.
Carter.
254
00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:01,060
Okay, Mr.
255
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:07,140
Carter. You said the pain was between
your chest and your stomach. You get
256
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,640
Uh -huh. What is that, Dr. Horshack?
Between the chest.
257
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:10,920
The liver.
258
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:23,100
It is my belief that this man's problem
has something to do with his spine bone,
259
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,680
which is connected to his hip bone.
260
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,300
Uh -huh. And Dr. Horschak, the hip bone
is connected to the... Thigh bone.
261
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,420
And the thigh bone is connected to
the...
262
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,200
I just have a thing about doctors.
People have fears. They're called
263
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,740
I'm sure you guys have your own. My
father has claustrophobia.
264
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,460
What's that?
265
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,920
Claustrophobia? It's a dread fear of
Santa Claus.
266
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:22,040
All I know, Mr. Carter, is that I am not
taking any physical until you do.
267
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,880
If I die, let it be on your head.
268
00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,720
That's right. You really need a
physical, Mr. Carter.
269
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:29,999
No, I don't.
270
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000
I got a note.
271
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:33,580
Dear Mr.
272
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:37,480
Epstein, please excuse Gaby from taking
his physical.
273
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:42,160
He is not sick. If he was, believe me,
our mother would know.
274
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,260
Signed, Carter's mother.
275
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,840
You expect me to buy a cheap trick like
that, huh?
276
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,100
Look, Mr. Carter, see a doctor.
Something might really be wrong.
277
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:56,880
Yeah. I mean, what would happen to us if
we lose you as a teacher?
278
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,520
Why don't we sit around all day and look
at an empty chair?
279
00:18:00,820 --> 00:18:05,220
Yeah, we might get a teacher who doesn't
understand our unusual personalities.
280
00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:13,320
Or we might get a cute little blonde
substitute.
281
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,320
Hey, Vinnie, come on. The man might
really be sick. I'm only kidding.
282
00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:22,180
Oh, Mr. Codd, don't you know that we
really care about what happens to you?
283
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:23,860
Yeah, look, we're here. We really do,
man. Yeah.
284
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,580
Hey, Mr. Carter, if you need a kidney, I
can get it for beans.
285
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:41,720
As a matter of fact, if you work for the
city, state, or local government, I can
286
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,720
get your organs wholesale.
287
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:43,639
Get out!
288
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,000
Out! I can get it cheap. Out!
289
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:51,320
Mr. Carter, I feel bad about saying that
about the blonde.
290
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,400
A cheap redhead would be just as good.
291
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:55,720
Get out!
292
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,640
Get today, go on tomorrow.
293
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,360
What do you mean by that, Arnold?
294
00:19:03,169 --> 00:19:04,670
Carter, I don't know.
295
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:10,290
But I heard this guy say it once, and
then the next day I went over to ask him
296
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:12,030
what it meant, and he was gone.
297
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:14,790
Get out!
298
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:17,510
Here today, gone tomorrow.
299
00:19:18,170 --> 00:19:20,370
Hey, yo, Mr. Cartier. Hey, do me a
favor.
300
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:22,230
Don't wait too long.
301
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:23,570
My uncle's expected.
302
00:19:24,410 --> 00:19:25,410
Well, what happened to him?
303
00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:27,870
Oh, he waited too long to go see the
doctor.
304
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:29,410
He finally went.
305
00:19:29,790 --> 00:19:31,630
Five minutes after he left the doctor's
office,
306
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:33,680
It was dead.
307
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,399
Heart attack?
308
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,500
No, taxi cab.
309
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,440
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Out.
Out.
310
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:41,700
Out.
311
00:19:41,860 --> 00:19:42,860
Out.
312
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:54,340
I'm glad to find a physical Mr. Cotter.
We all have our little phobias. Why, the
313
00:19:54,340 --> 00:19:56,520
very reason I'm a nurse is because I'm
afraid to fly.
314
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,760
I wanted to be a stewardess.
315
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:01,620
I don't blame you. The uniforms are
sexier.
316
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:03,139
Ah, yes.
317
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,400
The glamour, the excitement, the airsit
bag.
318
00:20:08,060 --> 00:20:12,780
Why, to be able to walk up to a perfect
stranger and say, coffee, tea, or milk,
319
00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:17,260
instead of just handing them a little
bottle and saying, you know what to do.
320
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:23,980
Well, Toto, did you bring your thermos
or fizzy stuff today? I've got a pain
321
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:27,460
right about in this area. Oh, how long
have you had this pain, Mr. Woodman?
322
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:31,000
Since this morning, when Principal
Lazarus hit me in the stomach with a
323
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000
sophomore.
324
00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:39,590
Hey. Hey, how you feeling, man? All
right, all right. Tell us everything.
325
00:20:39,870 --> 00:20:41,470
I'll tell you everything. Sit down. All
right.
326
00:20:41,790 --> 00:20:42,790
All right.
327
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:46,290
First of all, I went to my old
pediatrician, Dr. Mel Melman.
328
00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:48,390
Dr. Mel Melman?
329
00:20:48,950 --> 00:20:50,730
No, no. His first name is Melvin.
330
00:20:51,490 --> 00:20:52,490
Oh.
331
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,830
Melvin Melmelman.
332
00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:58,630
No, right on the board. Melvin... Who
cares?
333
00:21:00,620 --> 00:21:05,680
I sat in his waiting room with 26 kids
with runny noses. Eh, that's 52 little
334
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,680
drips.
335
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:13,860
Did you have a long wait?
336
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,380
No, it wasn't bad. I occupied my time. I
colored for a while.
337
00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:19,820
Connected the dots.
338
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:23,980
You know, there's a lot of interesting
articles in that Jack and Jill magazine.
339
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:25,900
Oh, I knew that.
340
00:21:29,390 --> 00:21:31,930
I read that one that time about the
chicken who brought up the duck.
341
00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:35,890
So what happened after you went in?
Yeah.
342
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,090
Okay, now first thing, Dr.
343
00:21:38,310 --> 00:21:41,810
Mel Melman stood me against the wall and
he measured me. And he was very
344
00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:44,670
impressed. I've grown three and a half
feet since my last visit.
345
00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:51,990
Then he gave me a lolly and he told me
that I was a good boy.
346
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:54,990
Oh yeah, but what about the pain in your
chest?
347
00:21:56,070 --> 00:21:56,989
Well, Dr.
348
00:21:56,990 --> 00:22:01,110
Mel Melman said that I should watch what
I eat and I should avoid nervous
349
00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:02,110
tension, anxiety.
350
00:22:02,910 --> 00:22:05,850
Nervous? What are you nervous about?
What are you talking about? What do you
351
00:22:05,850 --> 00:22:08,270
to be nervous about? You've got a very
relaxing job.
352
00:22:08,650 --> 00:22:11,590
Connor, come over here by the window. I
want you to say something.
353
00:22:12,190 --> 00:22:13,190
What?
354
00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,330
The flagpole.
355
00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:17,370
Do you see it? Do you see what's waving
from that flagpole?
356
00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:18,590
Is it Old Glory?
357
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:20,710
No. Is it the school flag? No.
358
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:22,450
It's Miss Fishbeck.
359
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,360
Squib hogs. Personally responsible.
360
00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:37,000
Mr. Woodman, how can you be so sure it
was my kids? I heard them.
361
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,060
Cutter, who else in the school asks like
this?
362
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:45,960
Nobody I know.
363
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:49,700
Well, maybe you didn't do it.
364
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:54,260
I don't know how she got up there, but I
want Miss Fishbeck lowered, folded, and
365
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:55,260
put away.
366
00:22:57,780 --> 00:23:00,300
You want to know why I could have
nervous anxiety, huh?
367
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:05,340
Miss Fishbeck is connected to the
flagpole.
368
00:23:05,860 --> 00:23:11,180
Ah, Miss Fishbeck's connected to the
flagpole. And the flagpole's connected
369
00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:14,540
the schoolyard and the schoolyard's
connected to the football.
370
00:23:28,970 --> 00:23:32,190
It's the woman. You got to hear about my
uncle, Kermit Cotter. No, I don't,
371
00:23:32,190 --> 00:23:33,190
Cotter. Listen, listen.
372
00:23:33,550 --> 00:23:37,430
Every day, he walks by this window, and
he sees this woman hitting his boy over
373
00:23:37,430 --> 00:23:38,430
the head with a loaf of bread.
374
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,970
This goes on for six months. Every day
he walks by the window, she hits him
375
00:23:41,970 --> 00:23:45,030
the head with a loaf of bread. And one
day he walks by, and the woman is
376
00:23:45,030 --> 00:23:46,790
the boy over the head with a chocolate
cake, right?
377
00:23:47,030 --> 00:23:50,150
He can't stand it. He knocks on the
window. He said, how come every day a
378
00:23:50,150 --> 00:23:52,590
of bread, and today you hit him over the
head with a chocolate cake? And the
379
00:23:52,590 --> 00:23:54,530
woman said, it's his birthday.
380
00:23:55,190 --> 00:23:56,190
I heard it, Cotter.
381
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,800
Welcome back.
382
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,900
Your dreams were your ticket out.
383
00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:25,820
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
384
00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:30,300
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
385
00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:34,820
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
386
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:40,740
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
387
00:24:40,740 --> 00:24:42,860
where we need ya. Back here.
388
00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:52,470
Welcome back. Welcome back.
389
00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:59,670
Welcome back. Welcome back. We got
390
00:24:59,670 --> 00:25:03,310
him on the spot.
31222
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