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1
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Julie, did you ever say about my uncle
Cecil he was a highway patrolman?
2
00:00:05,910 --> 00:00:09,630
No. I didn't know that you had an uncle
who was a highway patrolman.
3
00:00:10,150 --> 00:00:13,530
Yes, I do. Now, one day he's on the road
and he sees a speck in his rearview
4
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:15,750
mirror. It's coming at him faster and
faster.
5
00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:18,490
Right? He looks and it goes by. It's a
guy running.
6
00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:22,950
Cecil tries to catch up. He goes 60, 70
miles an hour. Can't catch up to this
7
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:26,930
guy. About five minutes later, he's
turning the road. He hears groaning from
8
00:00:26,930 --> 00:00:27,788
side of the road.
9
00:00:27,790 --> 00:00:28,790
Oh.
10
00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:33,290
He looks and it's the same guy.
11
00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:35,550
He says, what happened? How'd you get
here?
12
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:38,750
The guy looks up and says, you know what
it is to have a blowout in these
13
00:00:38,750 --> 00:00:40,050
sneakers at 80 miles an hour?
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00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:54,670
Welcome back.
15
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,930
Your dreams were your ticket out.
16
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,310
Welcome back.
17
00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:05,850
To that same old place that you laughed
about.
18
00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:10,310
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
19
00:01:11,090 --> 00:01:14,810
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
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00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:20,830
Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Who'd
have thought they'd need ya? Back here
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where we need ya. Back here where we
need ya. Yeah, we tease him a lot. Cause
22
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got him on the spot.
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00:01:28,410 --> 00:01:29,570
Welcome back.
24
00:01:30,470 --> 00:01:31,570
Welcome back.
25
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,080
Welcome back.
26
00:01:58,730 --> 00:02:05,690
constitutional amendment has to be
ratified by at least two... All right,
27
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:08,830
fire drill, fire drill. Everybody remain
cool and calm.
28
00:02:11,650 --> 00:02:12,910
Not that calm.
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00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:16,890
All right, up to you, single file.
Quietly, calmly, let's go.
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00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:18,430
Come on.
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00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:22,010
Right you are, Mr. Cotto.
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00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:27,550
At a time like this, we should all have
a cool head.
33
00:02:37,260 --> 00:02:40,300
Take it easy. Get everybody else
outside. Just the drill. Go to your
34
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:44,540
place. Come on. But, Mr. Carter, when
that bell rings, how do we know it's a
35
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:46,460
fire drill and not a real fire?
36
00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:49,220
I guess we don't.
37
00:02:50,220 --> 00:02:51,220
That's what I thought.
38
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Fire!
39
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:58,720
Oh, my God! Oh, no!
40
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,340
Oh, my goodness!
41
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:01,640
No!
42
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,180
Hey, that's the third fire drill this
week.
43
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,320
Hey, I had enough of these dry runs.
44
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:10,450
I think it's time to place court on fire
so we can see how it's going to do
45
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:11,450
under real pressure.
46
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,310
It's just a drill. I'm okay. It's just a
drill. All right, Carter.
47
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,270
Which one of your sweat hogs turned in
the fourth alarm?
48
00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:24,410
Mr. Woodman, how can you be so sure it
was one of my kids?
49
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,950
Now, you're right, Carter. It was unfair
of me.
50
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:28,470
Could have been you.
51
00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:35,330
I remember when you were a sweat hog,
you put hot fudge in the ink wells.
52
00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:39,790
Fudging the ink was. That was crazy
Delaney.
53
00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:46,030
I ran around afterwards and sprinkled
nuts on it, but I didn't put it... Who
54
00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:47,030
that?
55
00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:52,290
Ain't that the kind of thing that makes
you proud? Thank you very much. All
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00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:55,210
right, the drill's over. Let's go
inside. Come on. Come on, everybody.
57
00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:56,290
everybody inside.
58
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:58,350
Hold it, hold it.
59
00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:01,750
As long as you're all out here, let me
check your lockers.
60
00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:04,210
Principal Lazarus has ordered a locker
inspection.
61
00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:06,090
What are you looking for?
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00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,200
Anything I can find to nail your sweat
hogs.
63
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,980
Mr. Woman, what is this? Be cruel to
sweat hog day?
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00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,380
Potter, every day is be cruel to sweat
hog day.
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00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:23,260
This is my locker and welcome to it.
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00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,160
Good grief.
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00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,940
What is that?
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00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,260
Looks like an antique banana.
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00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:40,000
it long enough, it might be worth
something.
70
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:44,600
I collect old fruit.
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00:04:51,220 --> 00:04:52,220
That's Steve.
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00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,840
Hold it. You got a warrant?
73
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:57,360
What's all this?
74
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,120
Those are the notes covering my
absenteeism for the rest of my life.
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00:05:24,430 --> 00:05:25,430
Is this your locker?
76
00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:26,870
Where?
77
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,630
What? Where?
78
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:34,670
Barbarino, the only reason you've got a
head is to separate your ears.
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00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:43,550
Separate? I think Mr. Woodland just
ranked you. Well, can I rank him back
80
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:45,030
without getting in trouble? Can I do
that?
81
00:05:46,210 --> 00:05:47,210
I don't know.
82
00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,310
Can you do that?
83
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,610
Sure. I used to be pretty good at this.
84
00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:55,550
Give me your best shot, clam breath.
85
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:02,610
And I won't get in no trouble.
86
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:04,570
No. You mean it?
87
00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:07,270
Sure, I mean it, pepperoni puss.
88
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,410
Well, listen, you snow -capped
leprechaun.
89
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:20,590
You look like somebody played Danny Boy
in your face with an ugly stick.
90
00:06:24,810 --> 00:06:25,689
Bob Reno.
91
00:06:25,690 --> 00:06:28,210
That's so funny, you can stay after
school for two weeks.
92
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:31,750
Wait a second.
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00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:34,070
Mr. Woodman, you told them that it was
all right.
94
00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:35,930
Just call it, Brillo Head.
95
00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:43,310
I'm not doing it for that.
96
00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:45,410
It's because of this.
97
00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:51,710
What is this jacket with sweat hogs on
it? It's nothing, nothing.
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00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:52,809
Wait a minute.
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00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:54,630
Gang. wear jackets like this.
100
00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:58,710
No. Yeah, well, uh, those are our
colors. You see, as guys, we formed a
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00:06:58,710 --> 00:06:59,709
club.
102
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,190
Yeah, well, exactly what kind of club
did you form?
103
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:07,370
Well, it must be some terrific club,
because so far, they won't let me join.
104
00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:12,350
-school organizations are forbidden on
school grounds.
105
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:17,110
Now, jackets mean gangs, gangs mean
fight, and fights mean bad news.
106
00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:20,050
Principal Lazarus doesn't like bad news,
Carter.
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00:07:20,510 --> 00:07:22,450
The last time I brought him bad news...
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He ate my tie.
109
00:07:25,950 --> 00:07:27,370
Look at this. There's another one.
110
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They're not people.
111
00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:32,710
Where have you been, Freddy?
112
00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:34,870
Oh, wow, man. I had some trouble.
113
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,170
Hey, you okay?
114
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,490
Hey, man, those guys over at New Utrecht
said I invaded their turf.
115
00:07:39,770 --> 00:07:40,770
Did you?
116
00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:42,110
No, not exactly.
117
00:07:43,090 --> 00:07:44,890
Actually, I invaded Pearl Jackson.
118
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:52,070
Unfortunately, she happens to live right
in the middle of their turf. But y 'all
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00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:52,829
don't worry.
120
00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:54,230
Old Boomer don't have to take care of
himself.
121
00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:57,850
See, man, I got surrounded by these
seven big, bad new Utrecht cats. Right,
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00:07:57,930 --> 00:07:59,110
I mean, it was coming on me. Wait a
second.
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00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:00,990
There were seven of them?
124
00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:03,590
No, either there were seven or two. I
don't know.
125
00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:11,030
Anyway, I looked them right in the eye,
and then I see... Hi there.
126
00:08:16,090 --> 00:08:17,930
They don't say nothing.
127
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:19,370
They just look at me mean.
128
00:08:20,010 --> 00:08:21,470
So I holds my ground.
129
00:08:34,469 --> 00:08:39,490
Don't you guys realize that if you walk
around with jackets like this, you're
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00:08:39,490 --> 00:08:40,549
just asking for trouble?
131
00:08:41,409 --> 00:08:45,250
And I want you to listen to me. Sooner
or later, somebody's really going to get
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hurt.
133
00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:47,290
Yeah.
134
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:49,530
Especially me.
135
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,400
Oh, poor baby.
136
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,800
You don't look so good.
137
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:10,520
What's the matter?
138
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:12,560
I'm just worried.
139
00:09:15,460 --> 00:09:17,860
Oh, honey, I was talking to the plant.
140
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:19,460
Edna.
141
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:23,000
Julie, what do you give all these plants
girls' names for? How do you know
142
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,600
they're girls? What do you do, peek
under the leaves?
143
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,740
Besides, it's ridiculous for you to keep
on talking about plants anyway.
144
00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,630
Well, tonight, Edna's a lot more fun
than you are.
145
00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:40,670
I'm sorry, honey. I'm just worried about
the kids.
146
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:42,370
I'm worried.
147
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:45,810
Excuse me, Edna.
148
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:50,690
Okay.
149
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:52,350
What's the big crisis this time?
150
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,930
You have to help Horshak break in a new
lunchbox?
151
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,650
It's even more serious than that.
152
00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,390
You're kidding.
153
00:09:59,550 --> 00:10:02,090
No, I got a problem, Julie. The kids
have formed a gang.
154
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,880
And I don't know what to do.
155
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,000
I mean, I think there's going to be a
rumble.
156
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:08,680
A rumble?
157
00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:10,660
What's a rumble?
158
00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:12,620
Oh, I forgot.
159
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:13,940
You're from Nebraska.
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00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,360
In Nebraska, a rumble is when your cow
has a gas attack.
161
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:28,820
A rumble is a fight.
162
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,140
People hit each other.
163
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,240
A person could develop a coma.
164
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:37,680
I remember when I was in school, there
was this guy I knew, Bonzo Moretti.
165
00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:44,280
Bonzo loved to rumble. He would fight
anybody, anything.
166
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,720
Busters, buildings, small towns.
167
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,660
One year for summer vacation, he beat up
everybody in Utah.
168
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,780
I think there's someone rumbling at the
door.
169
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,860
I gather you're joining the gang, too?
170
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,100
Do you know what it's like, Arnold, to
be in a rumble?
171
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:34,300
So? What's a rumble like?
172
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,800
I want you to picture a game of hockey.
173
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,420
Yes. Big guys.
174
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:40,960
Ooh. With no teeth.
175
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,900
Oh. Big sticks.
176
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:44,840
Oh. And you're the puck.
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00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:52,520
Mr. Carter, I want to be a punk, not a
puck.
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00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:01,270
Mrs. Cotter.
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00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,750
I know.
180
00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:07,530
Such a pity.
181
00:12:07,850 --> 00:12:11,750
A young man like me cut down in his
groin.
182
00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:15,870
Do you know that I just got my first
chest hair?
183
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:23,430
If you'd like to see it, I'll go home
and get it.
184
00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:29,410
Mr. Cotter, before I go to the...
185
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:31,410
Rumble.
186
00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:35,050
There's only one thing I would like you
to do for me.
187
00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:37,470
What's that all?
188
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,050
Stop me from going!
189
00:13:24,579 --> 00:13:27,460
What do you got to do to initiate
yourself?
190
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,060
Oh, it was awful, really.
191
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:35,920
For a whole week solid, every day after
school, I'd lock myself in my room and
192
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,880
watch reruns of Gilligan's Island.
193
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:41,900
Oh, wow.
194
00:13:42,180 --> 00:13:44,520
Vinny, I had no idea.
195
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,920
How about you, Freddy? How'd you get
initiated?
196
00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:54,960
Oh, I didn't. I joined on Vinny's
special minority membership plan.
197
00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:01,990
Epstein, what are you complaining about?
198
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,670
You didn't have to get initiated.
199
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:06,150
Yeah, that's because I got a note here.
200
00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:14,850
You got to see this one. Dear Punk,
please excuse
201
00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:19,270
Juan from his gang initiation because of
an inner ear problem.
202
00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:22,030
He hates to hear himself scream.
203
00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:25,110
Signed, Epstein's mother.
204
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:29,070
Hey, look, I got a great idea for the
initiation.
205
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,620
Why don't we stick Horschak's head in my
gym locker for about three minutes?
206
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,980
We want to initiate him, not kill him.
207
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,200
Hello, fellow delinquent.
208
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,320
All right, Horschak, you ready for
initiation?
209
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,440
Huh? Yeah. You ready to become a man?
210
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,100
Or something close.
211
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,420
the beginning. I just gotta get my
thoughts deranged.
212
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:04,920
Horshack, over here.
213
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:06,920
Frederick, give me some water.
214
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,560
Horshack, genuflect.
215
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,280
Jenny who?
216
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,060
I was gonna baptize you.
217
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,740
It's the only thing I could think of,
right?
218
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,340
You know, being Catholic and all.
219
00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:25,340
Horshack, you look like a Vaseline
factory blew up on you.
220
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:33,200
Listen, Vinnie, if you're going to have
an initiation, why don't you initiate us
221
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,200
all at once?
222
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,280
What do you mean all of us, man? What do
you mean all of us?
223
00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,720
I brought some recruits.
224
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:41,040
So sit down. Come on, sit down.
225
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,780
Recruits? Sit down. This is a joke. It's
recruits. Epstein, I do not see you
226
00:15:44,780 --> 00:15:45,780
sitting. I'm sitting.
227
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:48,900
Okay.
228
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,540
You crazy? Listen, I wouldn't do nothing
to modest natural beauty.
229
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,200
Mr. Carter, we're just going to throw
the scare into those new U -Trick guys
230
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,720
account of what they did to Freddy.
Yeah.
231
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,700
What'd you bring Woodman for? I can't
believe it. That's right, Carter. What
232
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:37,700
you bring me for?
233
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,040
Oh, good old Ace over here.
234
00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:41,900
Yeah. He's the only one that's got the
key to the nurse's office.
235
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,340
What's the difference? Let them knock
each other's brains loose. Pow!
236
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,640
Easy, Ace.
237
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,580
Get in the picture. They all dress up
like this, right? You're trying to stop
238
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,920
us. We ain't gonna stop you. Hey, hey,
no.
239
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,520
We ain't trying to stop you. I just
remember what a rumble was like when I
240
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,820
in school, how exciting it was. I
figured I could give you guys a few
241
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,139
All right?
242
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:06,220
Now, who's the first guy that's got the
chains?
243
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:07,660
Chains, chains.
244
00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:10,220
No, no, don't got no chains on me.
245
00:17:11,579 --> 00:17:12,539
No chains?
246
00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:13,540
No one has any chains?
247
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,160
I got some brass knuckles.
248
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,420
Brass knuckles?
249
00:17:17,859 --> 00:17:18,859
Sticks? You got sticks?
250
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,619
Sticks, you're talking big time now.
251
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,150
I don't understand you guys.
252
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,670
Where'd you come here? Go to a rumble or
go to a dance?
253
00:17:27,970 --> 00:17:28,970
Dance. That's a good idea.
254
00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,790
In fact, I know what I'm going to do
right now, all right? Let's do the
255
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:38,790
Oh.
256
00:17:40,870 --> 00:17:43,610
Looks like we don't have to go to the
dance.
257
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:45,470
Here's the entertainment committee.
258
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,850
I didn't think they was going to show
up.
259
00:17:48,070 --> 00:17:49,070
All right.
260
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:44,779
service here.
261
00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:46,120
I came here for some action.
262
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,880
Who's the first guy wants to lose
control of his face?
263
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:52,840
Will you pull it?
264
00:19:14,990 --> 00:19:16,590
I don't like to watch him dismember
people.
265
00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:24,810
That's the oldest punk I ever saw.
266
00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:29,450
You a senior?
267
00:19:32,450 --> 00:19:34,050
I'm the vice principal.
268
00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,610
Vice principal?
269
00:19:38,170 --> 00:19:39,730
This is a tough school.
270
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,280
You're lucky.
271
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,680
Just be glad you didn't have to mess
with him.
272
00:19:51,980 --> 00:19:52,980
Hush, Jack.
273
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,300
Number seven.
274
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,720
Hold me back.
275
00:20:19,940 --> 00:20:20,940
Let me out of here!
276
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,440
Cora, please.
277
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,440
There's no need to get all worked up
here. Breathe deep.
278
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,640
Breathe deep.
279
00:20:30,180 --> 00:20:31,180
Relax.
280
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,460
I'm sure that we can all work out our
little difficulties here.
281
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:38,760
It'll be no problem.
282
00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:40,920
We'll talk. We'll talk.
283
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:42,420
Tomorrow.
284
00:20:42,740 --> 00:20:43,800
Call my service.
285
00:20:53,740 --> 00:21:00,400
vice -principal that's right and you're
a teacher you got it
286
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:05,180
what do you teach home economics
287
00:21:47,790 --> 00:21:51,590
And I convinced them to dress this way
because we wanted to make sure that
288
00:21:51,590 --> 00:21:54,590
nobody would get hurt. I told you nobody
was going to get hurt, Mr. Carter. We
289
00:21:54,590 --> 00:21:57,690
were just going to throw a scare into
those guys. That's how it starts, Juan.
290
00:21:57,770 --> 00:22:00,930
You try to scare them, then they scare
you, then you push them and they shove
291
00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:04,210
you. You do something bad to them and
they try to do something worse to you.
292
00:22:04,790 --> 00:22:06,070
That's the way wars get started.
293
00:22:07,870 --> 00:22:09,130
It's the same thing with countries.
294
00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:13,090
The head of one country says to the head
of another country, off my case, tank
295
00:22:13,090 --> 00:22:14,090
face.
296
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,860
EY is back up your nose with Tokyo Rose.
297
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,320
And one week later, John Wayne is
storming Iwo Jima.
298
00:22:23,620 --> 00:22:26,480
Yeah, well, I don't want no part of
nothing like that.
299
00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:32,380
Yeah, me neither. Hey, Mr. Carter, does
this mean I don't gotta be tough no
300
00:22:32,380 --> 00:22:33,380
more?
301
00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:34,740
That's right on.
302
00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:38,120
Come on, we all had a long day. What do
you say we, uh...
303
00:22:38,120 --> 00:22:44,220
What do you say we all slide home?
304
00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:06,809
Hi, honey.
305
00:23:06,810 --> 00:23:11,810
Thanks for bringing me lunch. You're
going to love it. I made you a sandwich
306
00:23:11,810 --> 00:23:13,910
my famous tuna casserole.
307
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:18,790
Go ahead, dig in.
308
00:23:19,710 --> 00:23:21,710
Julie, did I ever tell you about my
uncle Harry Carter?
309
00:23:23,210 --> 00:23:25,690
Harry was a soft touch. Anybody could
tell him anything.
310
00:23:25,950 --> 00:23:29,570
Talk like this. Hello, I'm Harry Carter.
I'm a nice guy. Anybody could tell me
311
00:23:29,570 --> 00:23:30,570
anything.
312
00:23:30,950 --> 00:23:32,530
Like one time he went to buy a suit.
313
00:23:32,790 --> 00:23:33,890
Tried the jacket on.
314
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,720
One of the sleeves is longer than the
other.
315
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,480
So they said, look, mister, the sleeve
is longer than the other one. How could
316
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,280
really stop you? The sleeve is longer.
317
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:45,200
I said, look, just hold your arm like
this, and it's fine.
318
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:48,360
Then he tries on the pants.
319
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,780
He notices that one leg is longer than
the other.
320
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:54,840
He said, mister, this leg is longer than
the other one. I couldn't walk down the
321
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,520
sleeve with a leg longer than the other
one.
322
00:23:56,860 --> 00:23:58,680
I said, well, just hold your leg out
like that.
323
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:01,800
Sells him the suit.
324
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,820
Harry walks out of the store. These two
guys notice him walking down the street.
325
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,540
One says to the other, oh, my God, look
at that unfortunate fellow over there.
326
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,400
Other guy says, yeah, it's a shame.
327
00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:11,940
But look how nice his suit fits.
328
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:16,580
Welcome back.
329
00:24:32,010 --> 00:24:34,890
Your dreams were your ticket out.
330
00:24:35,730 --> 00:24:41,690
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
331
00:24:42,530 --> 00:24:46,170
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
332
00:24:46,850 --> 00:24:50,650
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
333
00:24:51,750 --> 00:24:56,630
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
334
00:24:56,630 --> 00:25:00,170
where we need ya. Back here where... We
need you.
335
00:25:00,410 --> 00:25:05,370
We tease him a lot because we got him on
the spot. Welcome back.
26138
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