All language subtitles for welcome_back_kotter_s02e02_inherit_the_halibut

You ever tell you about my Aunt Esther
who was a matron in a movie house?

No, but go ahead.

Well, she's a matron in a movie house
for years and years and years. And one

time she's walking down the aisle and
she sees this guy lying there stretched

over about six feet like this.

Don't you know how to act in a movie
house? You can't do that. Just what do

think you're doing? Where did you come
from?

He said, the balcony.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who would have thought they'd lead you?

Who would have thought they'd lead you?
Back here where we need you. Back here.

We tease him a lot because we got him on
the spot. Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Looks like we're in for a few late finds
for the class fun today.

Barbarino.

What are you listening to?

The news.

Barbarino, cough up 25 cent late find.

What, are you kidding? Just bought this
beautiful new radio. I can't afford

that.

All right, write an IOU for 25 cents.

Hey, Mr. Carter, let's count the money
in the fund.

Wait, wait, Washington's late. Don't you
want to wait till your treasurer gets

here? Nah, I know where it's at.

Some place to keep your money.

Halibut Savings and Loan.

Nice place to go if you ever want to
borrow a fin.

He stayed boxed.

Hey, it's gone. Somebody ripped off the
clock. Hey.

Wait a minute.

Looks like some sweat hog made a sweat
pig out of himself.

Wait a minute. Freddy's the treasurer.

Where is he anyway?

Yeah, where is Freddy? Have you seen him
at the garden?

Where'd he go? All right, sit down. Have
you seen Freddy?

Just sit down.

Come on, let's not accuse anybody just
because they aren't here.

to leave my new bike outside.

There's a whole lot of crooks in this
neighborhood.

Yeah, no kidding.

And while you was peddling around the
neighborhood, the class fun ain't in the

fish no more.

So what? So what? You're the treasurer,
man.

Did you rip us off?

Did I rip us off?

Yeah, what about you guys? Oh, wow.

Well, you guys are something else.

Remember, you elected me treasurer.

Let's give the money to Freddie.

We can trust him.

Now you're calling me a thief?

No.

Embezzler is a better word.

What's the story, Freddy? Yeah.

I got nothing to say.

Oh, wow. Hey, Freddy, guy, look.

You stole the money. Just tell us, you
know? We'll understand.

Sort of.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Everybody's accusing Freddy without
stopping to think who else might have

it. You know something, Mr. Cotter?

The guy who stole that money must have
been, like, really dumb, like the

guy in this classroom.

A real idiot.

What money?

I've seen the right way the money was
hid. Everybody knew where the money was

hid. Horseshack, how come you knew
exactly how much was in the fish? Yeah!

And your jet -set lifestyle.

Push that. I got this radio from you,
remember?

Yeah, for six bucks, which you still owe
me.

Well, that proves it, then. I'm broke.

All right, look, how about Freddy's
Bicycle? Yeah! All right, hold it!

Hold it!

Let's stop accusing.

And let's just reconstruct events from
the last time we saw the money.

All right, yeah.

Yeah, okay, reconstruct events.

Okay. Now, when the bell rings...
yesterday.

Barbarina was the first one outside the
door, as usual.

Yeah, and as usual, all the girls
followed me.

And I left very quickly, Mr. Carter.
That's right, Arnold. I remember that

because Epstein was chasing you.

Nobody calls me Sheephead, Arnold.

Okay, that left you and Freddy.

That's right. Freddy and I were alone.
Then I left and I said goodbye to

who was...

standing alone by the fish tank.

I ain't no thief.

Freddy, just put it back.

I didn't take anything, all right?
Nothing.

Look, what you guys are doing to Freddy
is called railroading.

You're convicting a man without a trial.

In this country, you're innocent until
you've proven guilty, okay? Now, if you

want to have a trial, we'll have one
tomorrow.

All right, we'll have a trial.

Then we'll convict him.

What's the matter with you guys?

You guys call yourselves my friends,
right?

My fellow sweet hugs?

Hey, I'm really sorry, Freddy.

Oh, Arnold.

But that's the price you pay when you
choose a life for crime.

Look, don't worry about it, Freddy. I'm
going to be your defense counsel.

Oh. Thanks, Mr. Cartier.

At least somebody around here trusts me.

Hey, I trust you, Freddy.

Yeah.

You didn't take the money, did you?

No, you didn't.

You did?

No. Did you, Freddy?

Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

just as soon as Mr.

Carter and the guilty party pull up a
chair.

I am going to send your client so far up
the river, he's going to come back with

gills.

you take off those glasses and that
silly novelty nose?

Ha, ha, ha. The joke's on you.

I ain't wearing no novelty nose.

Oh.

All rise.

Court is now in session.

The unbearable Vinnie Barbarino
presiding.

Mr. Cotter. I thought you said a
bathrobe.

All right.

Now, opening statements, will you? Yeah,
I got an opening statement.

In the words of our former president, I
am not a crook.

Okay, would the prosecutor please
present his briefs?

Certainly, Your Honor. Just let me get
them out.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
esteemed losing attorney,

guilty defendant.

Objection.

Who asked you?

I have such a worthy adversary as the
big city lawyer, Mr. F. Lee Horschak.

My task today will be a simple one, so
we can all go home and enjoy a

nice dinner.

I believe the defendant is innocent.

And like my old daddy used to say, when
you walk through the cow pasture of

facts, you're bound to step in some
truth.

you for your time.

How am I doing?

You'd be lucky if they don't send you
up, too.

All right. Will the prosecutor please
present his next witness?

I call Verna Jean Williams.

Verna Jean Williams!

Miss Williams.

outfit you're wearing today.

Hello. Now, yesterday you were seen
talking to Mr. Washington. Would you

tell the class the subject of that
conversation?

Well, Boom Boom was just showing me a
bicycle that he bought at a police

auction. For how much?

Eight dollars.

the $8?

No. No further questions.

If it please the court, I would like to
call my surprise witness.

Surprise witness!

Surprise witness!

Come on, let's get on with it.

Okay, raise your right hand and repeat
after me.

What is this? Am I sworn in?

No, but you've just been bar mitzvahed.
Congratulations.

Get your hands off me,

sheephead.

You swear to tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.

Certainly. Washington did it.

Objection! This witness is hostile.

Thank you, Carter.

I'm glad we're finally starting to
communicate.

were looking very chipper this morning.

Please tell the court what you saw
Washington doing in the halls yesterday.

Counting money. He was counting money.

And what did you do?

I checked to see if my wallet was
missing.

And how much money did he have?

I don't know, but it was all in dimes,
nickels, and quarters.

It was all...

witness, Mr. Carter. This is like taking
candy from a baby.

Mr.

Woodman, is it?

You know my name, Carter.

Mr. Woodman, are you currently employed
here at Buchanan High School?

No, I'm a jammer in the roller dirt.

Mr. Woodman, you are in fact employed
here, and you are employed in the

of... principal, isn't that true?

Yes.

For how long have you been the vice
principal?

27 years.

27 years, Mr.

Woodman.

One step away from the top.

So close you could almost touch it.

Yet so far away.

Frustrating, isn't it?

Yes.

What induced you to testify here today?

Well, now that's easy, Carter.

A desire to fulfill my duty as a
citizen, an interest in seeing justice

and last but certainly not least, I saw
a clean shot at torpedoing one sweat

arm.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I must
question the impartiality and the

competency of this surprise witness. No
further questions.

Do you think this is a good experience
for your students, Carter?

In the future, they'll be spending a lot
of time in court.

Your Honor,

the prosecution rests.

Harry.

Okay, the defense will now call on its
witness.

I only have one witness.

I call to the stand Mr. Freddie Boom
Boom Washington.

Please, right hand.

Yeah, do not bother. I ain't got nothing
to say.

Freddy, I'm only going to ask you one
question.

Did you take the money?

Freddy, say something in your own
defense.

Freddy, they're going to find you
guilty.

Your witness.

Aren't we quiet this morning, Mr.
Washington?

Now, isn't it true that when Mr. Carter
left you in the class, you had an

easy opportunity to get you the money?

Isn't it true that you did in fact
willfully and knowingly steal the money?

Isn't it a...

to guess again, Barbarino. There's a lot
more than $8 here.

That's $32.

Hey, Mr. Cutter!

The prosecution is willing to discuss a
little plea bargaining?

What are you talking about?

Let's pardon Washington and you and I
split the money as legal fees.

Mexico awaits.

You cannot pardon somebody unless you
first establish that they're guilty.

There's a court, not the White House.

I want to find out how that fish turned
$8 into $32.

In an unprecedented move, the defense
would like to call as its next witness

prosecuting attorney, F. Lee Horschak.

Me understand.

All right, Horschak, I have some
questions about the $32.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
the defense must be desperate.

Even if I knew anything, you would never
get it out of me.

Just take the fan.

I know what you're going to try and do,
Mr. Carter. You're going to try and

break me down.

Me, the man of steel?

Well, unless you've got some kryptonite
on you, you'll never be...

Never, never, never.

You know anything about the $32?

I didn't!

Take the stand.

Do I gotta?

That's right. This court does not
recognize notes from your mother.

Can you throw any light on this mystery
that we're unraveling?

I plead the Eighth Amendment.

That's the Fifth Amendment.

Inflation's hitting everywhere.

Well, it sure hit our fish.

Did you put money in the fish?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Sure I did.

I mean, I didn't want my friend
Washington to take a bum rap, you know?

I just couldn't see Freddy walking that
last mile.

Walk? The way the money's coming in, he
can take a cab.

All right, your excuse.

I call as the next witness, Judge Vinnie
Barbarino.

You put any money in the fish?

Judge, do I got to answer that question?

Tell the witness he's got to answer that
question.

a fish.

Weird.

Boy, you stupid.

You know that?

You're a real idiot.

The question is, did you put the money
in a fish?

Yeah. Put me down for eight bucks, would
you?

I was saving for my college education.

Mr. Carter, well, we all guilty.

Between us, me and the girls.

Put in $8, too.

All right.

That explains how the $32 got into the
fish.

But it doesn't explain where the
original $8 went.

And we're not going anywhere until the
shadow of guilt that surrounds my client

is lifted.

All right, I think it's time for a
verdict. So I'd like the jury, the

the jury, to please come to a decision.

Okay, everybody, follow me.

Take your time about it. You got a man's
future in your hands. Please, take your

time.

to a decision?

Yeah, Your Honor. We the jury find the
defendant guilty as charged.

All right.

Would you guys come on up to the bench
and get your sentence?

Come on.

You had a lousy lawyer.

I'm really going to do this. I'm really
going to convict the man on

circumstantial evidence.

Yeah, but Mr. Carter, we all know that
Freddie is guilty.

Is that right?

That's really right.

Well, maybe you might be interested in
taking a look at this.

Let me see this.

It's a bank book for $8. That's right.
Now, what does that name say?

The Sweet Hogs.

Sweat Hogs.

Sweat Hogs. Sweat Hogs. Yeah.

Right? Oh, wow. You mean Freddie put our
money in a bank?

You know, you never asked me once.

Freddy, where's the money?

All you said was, Freddy, why did you
steal it?

That's right. If you hadn't assumed he
was guilty, he would have told you where

the money was in the first place. Hey,
Freddy, what'd you put it in the bank

for?

Because a rubber fish don't pay 6 %
interest.

Not only were you ready to believe that
your friend was a thief, but you made

things worse by putting money in the
fish and trying to cover up for him.

I think everybody owes Freddy a big
apology, including myself, because...

I have my own doubts.

I'm sorry, Freddy.

Freddy, I'm real sorry.

Hey, look, look, hey, look.

Forget the apologies, you know.

I probably would have convicted me, too,
under the same circumstances.

So, what are we going to do with the
$32?

I say we give it to Frederick Boom Boom
Washington, our class treasurer, for

safekeeping.

Hey, I tell you what we're going to do.
We're going to take all this money,

we're going to put it in the bank.

We're going to all be typhoons.

That's typhoons.

No, typhoons.

Because at the end of the year, we're
going to all blow it.

Julie.

What?

Guess where I have my hands.

No, guess where.

A butterfly.

Nope.

A flower.

No, it gets again.

Gabe, this is stupid.

All right, all right.

An elephant.

What color?

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.