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Julie, did I ever say about my uncle
Walden Carter?
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He was always afraid that he wasn't
going to go to heaven.
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00:00:07,570 --> 00:00:09,130
Did he ever find out if he was or not?
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00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:11,510
Well, I'm glad you asked me that.
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See, one time he took a trip to India.
Went up on the highest mountain and
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to the highest lama.
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He said, you have to tell me. I have to
know. Am I going to heaven?
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00:00:20,690 --> 00:00:25,490
Lama said, well, Mr. Carter, I shall
check and see. I'll let you know
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Goes to the hotel, comes back the next
day. He said, did you find out? Did you
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00:00:29,090 --> 00:00:29,849
find out?
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00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:33,510
Mr. Kata, I have good news for you, and
I have bad news for you.
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The good news is, yes, you are going to
heaven.
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00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,770
The bad news is, you leave Thursday.
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00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:46,450
Welcome back, Patterns. We're recording
live before a studio audience.
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Welcome back.
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00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,400
Your dreams were your ticket out.
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00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:07,180
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
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00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:11,640
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
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But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
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Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
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where we need ya.
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welcome back welcome back welcome back
welcome
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back
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My assignment for today was to write a
composition on what I want to be, which
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I'm sure you're all done.
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00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:07,120
So let's get right into it. Mr.
Barbarino.
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What I want to be.
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By Vinnie Barbarino.
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I want to be a guy.
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Who never writes compositions.
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The end.
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You're going to be a guy that never gets
out of high school.
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00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,340
Now, Freddie, let's hear yours.
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00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:53,620
What I want to be. By Frederick... Boom
Boom Washington.
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I ain't decided what I want to be yet,
but whatever it's going to be, it's
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to be something that pays well. You
know, something with, like, profit chain
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00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,960
good pension, you know, with, like,
stock options, three weeks paid
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00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,960
How about free hospitalization? And a
secretary that looks like Diana Ross.
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00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:19,740
And a suede sports coat, you know, the
kind with the patches on the elbow.
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00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:25,640
Uh, Freddie, if you find a job, let me
know, because I'd like to apply, too.
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00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:39,500
But somehow I get the feeling that
Arnold wants to be next.
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00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,620
Aren't you all Mr.
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Carter?
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You know how you was always talking
about personal initiative?
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Well, instead of what do I want to be, I
have titled my composition, What
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00:03:57,460 --> 00:03:58,460
Do I Want?
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00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:17,870
want a G .I. Joe.
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And a Barbie doll to keep him company,
you know, when he comes home on leave,
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00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:28,970
you know.
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00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:34,610
And if it isn't too much trouble, I'd
like to be taller.
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00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:40,210
But if not, please reconsider my
application for Elf.
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00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,560
I'm sorry, but we had to lay off a few
elves. It's been a lousy season.
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00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,840
The little guys had to paint themselves
green and become leprechauns.
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00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,180
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
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00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,500
Okay,
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now, Mr. Epstein.
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Barbarina, where's Epstein?
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00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,720
I ain't seen him.
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00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,220
You haven't seen him.
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00:05:17,660 --> 00:05:18,660
Where?
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00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,080
Who?
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00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,000
Juan Epstein, the Georgie Jessel of San
Juan.
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00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:30,020
Georgie who?
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00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:32,800
Georgie Jessel.
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00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:37,240
Vinnie Barbarino was a wonderful boy
before he fell down that day.
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00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,220
And let's hope that the damaged part
will grow back.
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00:05:58,380 --> 00:05:59,620
Let's have it so we can get to work.
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00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,060
What?
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00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,540
One of your famous notes that'll read
something like, please excuse Juan for
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00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,000
being late. He was kidnapped by the jet
set and left tied up on a lawn in
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Hyannis Park.
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Signed, Ed Sheen's mother.
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Yeah, well, I ain't got no note, Mr.
Cotter.
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I was home because Florence was sick and
I had to take care of her.
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You had to take care of somebody?
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00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,090
Epstein, since when are you a doctor?
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You don't even know how to play golf.
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00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:34,890
Yeah, but Florence don't trust nobody
but me. That's why I had to bring her to
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school.
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00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:37,510
Well, where is this sick person?
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00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:39,590
In the box.
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You stuffed somebody in the box.
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Yeah, you see, this is Florence.
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It's my pet hamster.
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Just like you.
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00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,700
He's all hairy with mean little eyes.
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00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:19,680
Lawrence is a she.
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00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,980
Okay, come on, everybody, sit down. Come
on, let's go. Sit down.
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Hey, Juan, you never told me you had
this interest in hamsters.
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00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,400
You never asked.
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00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:32,040
Hey, I got myself some white mice and a
chicken who escaped from a butcher shop
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00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,660
and was trying to cross the Bay Parkway.
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00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:39,680
You know, your assignment today was to
write a composition on what I want to
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Have you ever considered becoming a vet?
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Oh, no.
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00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:45,310
My brother Sanchez was in the army.
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Didn't like it a bit.
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00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:53,690
No, I'm not talking about a veteran. I
mean a veterinarian.
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Oh, yeah. My sister's a veterinarian.
But I gotta have meat.
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Not a vegetarian. A veterinarian.
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00:08:03,030 --> 00:08:05,170
A person who takes care of animals.
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Like my mother.
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like you and your brothers.
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00:08:13,250 --> 00:08:15,070
I'm talking real animals.
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Cats, dogs, monkeys.
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You think you can do that?
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Me? Ah, come on.
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I think you should see Miss Helms, the
career guidance counselor.
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00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:29,670
My young man, she could channel your
interest in animals into a worthwhile
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rewarding career.
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00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,470
I didn't know what to do with my life.
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00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:38,030
A friend interested me in the Columbia
School of Hamsters.
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I think you two can have a rewarding
career among our furry friends.
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The Columbia School of Hamsters should
not be confused with the Columbia School
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of Rats.
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See, hoblo hamster.
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But can he get good pay in a short time?
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I am serious, Epstein. I think you
should try for it. Yeah, well, Dr.
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00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,300
Epstein. It's got a nice ring to it.
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00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,500
Hey!
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Computer technology and videocassette
curriculum can lead to a day in which
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one -to -one educative confrontation as
we know it will be outmoded.
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00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:27,060
Now, let me understand this, Miss Helms.
You mean that someday I'll be able to
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00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:30,220
run this school and not have to deal
with students?
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00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:34,140
Absolutely. Now, today's an efficient
face -to -face level.
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00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,280
Imagine that, Carter.
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A school with no students.
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That would be heaven.
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And the next step...
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No teachers.
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Everything will be electronic.
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Good morning, boys and girls.
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I am your total studies robot.
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My name is Carter B -212.
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00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:03,850
Now, everybody relax because nothing can
go wrong.
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00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:07,650
Now, everybody take out your homework.
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00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:09,770
Have you done your homework?
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00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:13,930
Just as I should expect.
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00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,640
and it makes a fool of itself.
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00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:25,900
You have no feeling for progress,
Carter.
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00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,900
If that's progress, Mr. Woodman, I am
going into my uncle's deli business.
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00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,200
I never heard of anybody trying to
computerize a salami.
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00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:36,960
Computerize salami.
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00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,440
What did he call me?
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Juan Epstein, I'd like you to meet Miss
Helms. Miss Helms, this is Juan Epstein.
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00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,060
Oh, how do you do, Miss Helms? Hey.
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00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,360
You know, the more I think about this
animal doctor and the better it sounds,
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00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:51,099
you know?
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00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:51,899
Calling Dr.
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00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:52,900
Epstein, calling Dr.
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00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,100
Epstein.
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00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,820
Chihuahua having a nervous breakdown.
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00:10:58,020 --> 00:10:59,860
Ostrich on a paranoid trip.
154
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,520
How's Florence?
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00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,280
Oh, you know, about the same.
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00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:08,080
All she does is roll over and take a
drink now and then.
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00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,720
Well, don't worry. I go for whole
weekends like that.
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00:11:18,090 --> 00:11:24,370
Mr. Epstein, your subgradial GPA, as
shown on our grafted SAT projections,
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00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:26,750
you in the anterior range of our median
curve.
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00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:32,890
What is she talking about?
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00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:38,830
Oh, well, she said that you're, uh,
she's trying to, uh...
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00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:43,210
What are you talking about?
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00:11:44,850 --> 00:11:47,030
This student falls below the...
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00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:50,050
level for a career professional.
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00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:55,350
Lawyer, economist, any sort of engineer.
More aptly, he should be channeled
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00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:59,130
toward employment involving overly
simple routine within a highly
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00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:00,130
environment.
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00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:04,770
Ms. Towns, let's make it overly simple.
Put it right on the table. Can Juan be a
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00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:10,670
veterinarian? I think this student
should explore the highly rewarding
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00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:11,670
manual labor.
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00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:20,400
Are you saying I can't be a vet? Wait a
minute, Juan. Let me... No, no, no.
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Really, please.
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00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:25,640
Hey, look, you know, Mr. Carter always
tells us, hey, you can be whatever you
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00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,640
want to be.
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00:12:26,660 --> 00:12:27,660
Anything realistic.
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00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:30,240
Yes. Oh, I want to be a vet, a doctor
for animals.
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00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:31,580
Well, that's impossible.
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00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,480
Why? Well, it just isn't here.
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00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,140
But he's already got all kinds of
animals. He takes care of them now.
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00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:38,380
what he came to talk to you about.
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00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,340
Well, it's certainly fortunate that he
did. Since to encourage him in this
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direction, quite frankly...
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00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,360
Could be harmful both to Mr. Epstein and
to his animals.
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00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,140
Harmful? Does it say I'm harmful here?
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00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,940
Is she saying I'm going to do something
bad to my animals?
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00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:55,460
I don't think she understands the
situation. Let me have a few words with
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00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,600
and I'll talk to you later, okay, Juan?
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That was a quick career.
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Thanks a lot for the bum ride, Carter.
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00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:05,840
Juan.
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00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:06,920
Juan, come here.
192
00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:15,510
This is a good example of why the
personal interface method should be
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00:13:15,790 --> 00:13:18,690
Many times the subject feels confused,
threatened.
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00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:21,650
Well, you're the one that confused and
threatened him. You were supposed to
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00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:24,970
counsel him, help him. All you did was
throw his hopes and dreams out the
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00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:25,949
window.
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00:13:25,950 --> 00:13:30,210
Mr. Epstein just doesn't have the
numbers. I have no other answer for him.
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00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,730
Yeah, well, I have an answer for you,
lady.
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00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:35,770
Up your nose with your computer hose.
200
00:13:41,290 --> 00:13:43,190
And twice as far with a chocolate bar.
201
00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:50,350
Babe, would you calm down?
202
00:13:50,870 --> 00:13:53,250
How can I calm down? Those kids will
never trust me again.
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00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,210
I mean, after what that woman said to
him.
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00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:59,750
I'm sorry, Mr. Epstein, but your
framestandard's flabungent, and your
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00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:02,530
just hit your grammars. So therefore,
your future has just been canceled.
206
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:06,770
I mean, if someone would have said that
to me when I was in school, I would
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00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:07,770
never become a teacher.
208
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:11,520
I'd probably be a dance instructor at
Leilani Shapiro's dance palace.
209
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:18,840
Oh, Madame Shugana, how beautiful you
look this evening. You are simply
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00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,380
delightful for a 76 -year -old woman
with no teeth.
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00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:27,460
How would you like... Were you expecting
somebody?
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00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:28,840
No. Oh.
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00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:34,260
Arnold, what is that?
214
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:35,800
Truman Capote.
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00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:40,410
Epstein says take good care of him.
216
00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:47,630
Epstein says you should take good care
of his little mousketeers.
217
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:52,710
There's Jimmy, Darlene, Cubby, and
Annette.
218
00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:56,830
Annette's the one with the good bill.
219
00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:05,650
Here, Epstein wants you to take care of
Wally, Lumpy, Eddie Haskell, and of
220
00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:07,430
course, Jerry Manders as the beaver.
221
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:14,390
This is Harpo, and that's John Boy.
222
00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:18,610
And Florence, you met already.
223
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,130
Okay, okay, now what's going on here,
huh?
224
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,230
Ringling Brothers are going out of
business sale?
225
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:28,830
Well, thanks to you and that computer
lady, Juan don't think he can take care
226
00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:29,830
them anymore.
227
00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:33,410
Juan, you can't leave these animals
here, especially Florence. She's sick.
228
00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:35,190
Ah, you heard that computer lady.
229
00:15:35,790 --> 00:15:39,490
My subgradial took a nosedive into the
curve of my posterior.
230
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:45,730
Besides, Florence would be a lot better
off without me.
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00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:47,310
They all will.
232
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:51,290
Hey, can I have some time alone with my
little friends? Sure.
233
00:15:51,630 --> 00:15:58,210
Now is the time to say goodbye
234
00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:01,050
to all my company.
235
00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:06,830
Goodbye, Hoppo.
236
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,090
Goodnight, John boy.
237
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:21,010
Take care of them like they was your
own, Mr. Carter.
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00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:24,110
Because they are.
239
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:29,150
Well, I guess there's going to be 13
more for dinner.
240
00:16:41,390 --> 00:16:45,170
Those white mice didn't stop screaming
all night, and that other hamster on
241
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,170
wheel.
242
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:48,910
I thought it was in some Japanese
monster movie.
243
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:51,570
The hamster who ate Brooklyn.
244
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:53,450
Honey,
245
00:16:55,370 --> 00:16:58,270
you better take a look at Florence. She
looks worse than she did last night.
246
00:16:58,670 --> 00:17:00,170
Last night, she looked terrible.
247
00:17:00,990 --> 00:17:02,410
Wow, she really looks bad.
248
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,589
I know.
249
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:04,849
I better call Epstein. Okay.
250
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:07,950
I'm going to get ahold of the only
person I can help you, Florence.
251
00:17:08,490 --> 00:17:09,490
Dr. Wan.
252
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,300
Mr. Carter, look, Florence doesn't look
so good.
253
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:23,000
Well, she's rolled over on one side and
she's breathing very heavy.
254
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:30,920
Well, it sounds like... Anybody
255
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,660
who walked in now, they think I'm making
an obscene phone call to the Bronx Zoo.
256
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:38,140
What? A cold compress on her forehead?
257
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,760
She has a tiny little forehead all
covered with hair.
258
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,400
Oh, she just rolled over again.
259
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:47,960
She's what?
260
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,700
Okay, look, I'll meet you in school in
ten minutes, all right?
261
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,460
Okay, be there. Right, get everybody.
262
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:53,399
All right.
263
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,400
Cut.
264
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,080
Lawrence is going to have a baby.
265
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,940
Looks like she's been doing more than
running around an exercise wheel.
266
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:37,650
Danish? Prune Danish.
267
00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:40,410
A submarine sandwich. Submarine
sandwich.
268
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:44,670
Okay, BLT, whole tomato, submarine
sandwich, and a prune Danish, right? But
269
00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:48,010
they don't got prune cheeses, okay.
Okay, if they don't got prune cheeses.
270
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,980
I figured it was a lot faster than
stitches.
271
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,180
Okay. Mask.
272
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,840
Mask. Mask.
273
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,040
Mask.
274
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,960
Lights. Lights. Lights. Lights. Okay.
Okay. Sponge.
275
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:25,260
Wipe. Wipe.
276
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,160
I'm wiping as fast as I can.
277
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,700
You want faster, call Marcus Welby.
278
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,500
Okay. Okay. Okay.
279
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,440
Florence, you got Blue Cross?
280
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,380
if she doesn't sign this thing here.
281
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:52,920
Vital signs.
282
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,320
Vital signs.
283
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:55,500
Hot beat.
284
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:56,960
Normal.
285
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,200
Breathing.
286
00:19:58,940 --> 00:19:59,940
Yes. Yes.
287
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:04,420
Well, from here on, it's up to Florence.
All we can do is make her comfortable.
288
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,920
Dr. Horschak, would you tear up some
paper, put it in there, and make her
289
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:08,920
comfortable? Dr.
290
00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:12,460
Washington, get the lamp. Get it in
there. Let's get some heat in there.
291
00:20:12,460 --> 00:20:13,760
get some heat. All right, I'll plug it
in.
292
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,080
Gentlemen.
293
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800
I've done what I can.
294
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:23,600
Now all we can do is wait.
295
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,520
I've never attended classes in person.
296
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:31,720
They're filled with students.
297
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,680
Well, it's about time you did. It's
important that you see what's going on
298
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,500
classroom. Help! He's taking me in with
people!
299
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:37,880
In there, help!
300
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,900
How's it going, Juan? Here's your hot
water. Oh, pretty good, Mr. Carter.
301
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,800
you see, she's already had one baby.
She's about to have another. Take a
302
00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:46,180
Isn't that terrific, Helms?
303
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:47,680
That's true.
304
00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:54,410
Sit down. You don't look too hot.
305
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,330
Oh, boy!
306
00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:02,130
Isn't that great, the way she can do
that, Mr.
307
00:21:02,350 --> 00:21:03,350
Carter?
308
00:21:04,670 --> 00:21:06,370
What'll they think of next?
309
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,030
Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
310
00:21:14,210 --> 00:21:16,690
All I want to know is who is the father.
311
00:21:18,770 --> 00:21:20,590
I think it's John Boy.
312
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,780
as innocent as he looks.
313
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,260
Hey, man, that don't look like no
hamsters.
314
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,720
Look more like prunes with hair.
315
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:37,260
Am I to understand that you supervised
this whole process?
316
00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:39,540
Affirmative.
317
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:45,340
I supervised the delivery and, uh, John
Boyd supervised everything else.
318
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,520
You see, in a couple minutes now, she's
gonna start feeding them by herself.
319
00:21:50,580 --> 00:21:54,410
Uh, this is amazing. I mean... It's
really remarkable.
320
00:21:54,990 --> 00:21:59,050
Well, you know what I think would be
terrific, Miss Helms? I think it would
321
00:21:59,050 --> 00:22:02,210
just great if you scheduled another
counseling session with Mr. Epstein.
322
00:22:02,470 --> 00:22:07,750
Uh, well, um, and this is not to admit
that I was wrong, you understand, but I
323
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:09,470
have been known to reprogram my mind.
324
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:14,530
Hey, look, that's okay. But next time we
get together, you gotta talk English,
325
00:22:14,630 --> 00:22:17,310
see? Because, like, uh, hey, I don't
understand computer.
326
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:19,790
I'll try, Dr.
327
00:22:20,030 --> 00:22:21,030
Epstein.
328
00:22:21,260 --> 00:22:23,020
Oh, hey, Mr. Carter, this is for you.
329
00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:25,840
A bubblegum cigar.
330
00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:28,980
They're very difficult to keep lit.
331
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:34,720
Yeah, well, it's a little present from
me and Florence and little Gabe and
332
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:35,720
Julie.
333
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,760
Little Gabe and Julie, huh?
334
00:22:41,340 --> 00:22:45,320
Which one is Gabe?
335
00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:46,980
The one with the mustache.
336
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,040
So Julie is the little skinny one over
there, huh?
337
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:58,240
Hi, Julie.
338
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,760
Hey, Julie, did I ever tell you about my
Uncle Max?
339
00:23:01,980 --> 00:23:05,300
Well, he was 64 years old and he decided
to marry a 28 -year -old.
340
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,760
Julie,
341
00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:15,740
did I ever tell you about my Uncle Max?
He was 64 years old. He married a 28
342
00:23:15,740 --> 00:23:16,740
-year -old girl.
343
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,400
No.
344
00:23:18,510 --> 00:23:20,130
Why don't you tell me about it?
345
00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:22,950
Oh, I would be delighted to.
346
00:23:23,490 --> 00:23:27,430
Good. You see, Uncle Max was 64 and he
wanted to marry this 28 -year -old girl.
347
00:23:27,610 --> 00:23:31,270
I called him on the phone. I said, Uncle
Max, you cannot marry that girl. At her
348
00:23:31,270 --> 00:23:33,330
age, you're going to have to take her
out. You're going to have to make love
349
00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:35,090
her. At your age, that could be fatal.
350
00:23:36,390 --> 00:23:38,550
He said, listen, if she dies, she dies.
351
00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:54,780
Welcome back.
352
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:58,940
Your dreams were your ticket out.
353
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:05,860
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
354
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,300
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
355
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,860
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
356
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:20,780
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
357
00:24:20,780 --> 00:24:22,920
where we need ya. Back here.
358
00:24:28,250 --> 00:24:29,770
Welcome back.
359
00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:32,510
Welcome back.
360
00:24:32,710 --> 00:24:34,010
Welcome back.
361
00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:38,150
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.
362
00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:42,510
We always could spot a friend.
363
00:24:43,470 --> 00:24:44,770
Welcome back.
364
00:24:45,450 --> 00:24:49,530
And I smile when I think how we must
have been.
365
00:24:50,540 --> 00:24:54,120
And I know what a scene you were
learning in.
366
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,440
Was there something that made me come
back again?
367
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:05,520
And what could ever lead ya? What could
ever lead ya? Back here where we need
368
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,920
ya. Back here where we need ya.
29453
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