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Julie, did I tell you what happened last
week to my Aunt Esther?
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You never even told me you had an Aunt
Esther.
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00:00:07,130 --> 00:00:09,990
Last week, Aunt Esther was sitting in
her living room when all of a sudden the
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00:00:09,990 --> 00:00:10,789
doorbell rang.
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00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:13,330
She entered the door, and there was a
nice young man there who says, I have a
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00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:14,329
telegram for you.
7
00:00:14,330 --> 00:00:18,070
She said, young man, you know what I
wanted my whole life? A singing
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He said, well, I'm sorry, this is not a
singing telegram. She said, will you
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00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:25,930
begrudge an old lady a singing telegram
once in her life? Would you do that to
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00:00:25,930 --> 00:00:29,770
me? He said, all right, lady, if you
want it, I'll do a singing telegram. He
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00:00:29,770 --> 00:00:34,130
opened it up, and he said... Da -da -da
-da -da -da, your sister Rose is dead.
12
00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:37,790
It seems that she died in bed.
13
00:00:38,190 --> 00:00:44,430
She was really great, but she was 88,
and your sister Rose is dead.
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00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:50,710
Welcome back, Cotter. It's recorded live
before a studio audience.
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00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:00,530
Welcome back.
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00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:04,569
Your dreams were your ticket out.
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00:01:05,590 --> 00:01:11,430
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
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Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
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But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
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00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:26,350
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
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00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:28,530
where we need ya. Back here.
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Welcome back.
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00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:38,090
Welcome back.
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00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:39,390
Welcome back.
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00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,220
that same old magic.
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00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:18,640
Hi.
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00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,220
I didn't hear you come in.
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Julie, are you okay?
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Look at me.
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Look at me.
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Look at me.
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00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,700
Look at me.
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I'm an intelligent person. Yes, you are.
I'm a college graduate.
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I know, I know.
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00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:49,210
you looked at some lettuce for a while.
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00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,110
Okay, look, I'm sorry.
37
00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:55,350
Okay, now, what's the problem?
38
00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:57,790
Candy Lieberman came over today.
39
00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:01,230
Oh, well, Candy Lieberman is a definite
problem.
40
00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:05,370
I know that she is not your favorite
neighbor.
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00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:07,910
Favorite? Julie, we don't like each
other.
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00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,450
Every time I go to take out the garbage,
she boos.
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00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:15,330
It is not you personally.
44
00:03:16,110 --> 00:03:17,110
It's husband.
45
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,320
In general.
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00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,440
She had a very bad marriage.
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00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,800
Of course it was a bad marriage. She was
the wife.
48
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:31,600
Well, she is thrilled about being
single. And she was over here today
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her freedom.
50
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,700
She's going to Vermont to go skiing this
weekend.
51
00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:38,500
Well, big deal. I mean, you could go
skiing if you wanted to.
52
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:39,780
That's what I told her.
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00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:42,020
So she asked me to go with her.
54
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,800
Well, what did you say?
55
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:46,380
I told her I'd have to ask my husband.
56
00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:50,750
Julie, that's just it. You don't have to
ask me.
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00:03:51,150 --> 00:03:53,170
Look, we have a free and an equal
relationship.
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00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:56,230
If one of us wants to do something, we
just do it.
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00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:59,490
Now go over and tell Candy that you'll
go skiing with her this weekend.
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00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,410
I already did.
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00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:08,890
Without asking me!
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00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:17,010
Okay, so to ensure our system of
government...
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00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:23,190
That all men and women had the right to
choose their own way of life.
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00:04:23,570 --> 00:04:26,810
We fought the Revolutionary War that
winter in Valley Forge.
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It was cold, brutal.
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00:04:31,050 --> 00:04:32,730
Two feet of snow on the ground.
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00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:35,430
All the lifts were open.
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00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:40,630
And the instructors wore tight ski
pants.
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00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:45,630
Excuse me, Mr. Carter.
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00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,350
Valley Forge in Pennsylvania?
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00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:54,570
Sure, it's in Pennsylvania.
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00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:59,210
Well, I don't like to be picky, but you
seem to be pointing somewhere in the
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00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:01,190
neighborhood of Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
74
00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:07,490
I got a question.
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00:05:07,910 --> 00:05:13,270
How come they always say George
Washington slept here, George Washington
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00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:16,110
there? I mean, who cares where George
Washington slept?
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00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,670
Probably only Martha.
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00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:25,359
You know something?
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00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,560
I think he might have had a thing going
on the side with Betsy Ross.
80
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,260
Oh, Betsy Ross.
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00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,740
She was a little so -and -so.
82
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:46,400
Hey, Mr. Cotter, you think guys like
George Washington, uh, messed around?
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00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,020
Hey, Epstein, are you kidding?
84
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,720
A guy in a powder wig is looking for
trouble.
85
00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:54,610
two blacks in this neighborhood.
86
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:56,569
Oh, yeah?
87
00:05:56,570 --> 00:06:00,630
Well, how do you know while George was
away, Martha didn't play?
88
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:05,390
That's right. Now, who knows what Martha
did?
89
00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:08,210
She might have gone skiing with Candy
Lieberman.
90
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,890
Come here. I want to talk to you. Is
that weird?
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00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:22,490
No, well, let's go watch it. Let's check
him out. What's going on? Yeah.
92
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,420
Hey, Carter, we was all wondering.
93
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:29,620
I mean, what's wrong with you today?
94
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:31,700
What's wrong? Yeah.
95
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,160
What's wrong with me?
96
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,260
Yeah. Nothing wrong with me.
97
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,700
Oh, come on. You can't kid us.
98
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:41,020
I mean, you leave me no choice but to
prove it.
99
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:45,100
Hey, Carter, up your nose with a rubber
hose.
100
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,600
I mean, you are so low that you could
play handball up against the curb.
101
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,760
See what I mean? The old Cotter wouldn't
have taken that.
102
00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:07,380
He's right, Mr.
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00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:13,000
Cotter. If you was yourself today and
Vinnie said them things to you, why, you
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00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,600
probably would have said something like,
uh, hey, Vinnie, you know why you don't
105
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,600
got no freckles?
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00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,440
Because they probably slide off.
107
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:05,100
We're your friends. I mean, come on,
level with her.
108
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,800
What's the matter? What's wrong?
109
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:11,900
There's nothing wrong. It's just that
Julie went away for the weekend, and
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00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:12,940
never been separated before.
111
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,440
Oh, you and Mrs. Carter separated.
112
00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:19,060
Hey, that's a bummer. Isn't that a
bummer?
113
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,160
Where's the other guy?
114
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,680
Hey, look, if you want, I mean, I'll
take care of him for you.
115
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,460
Hey, it's nothing like that. She just
went away for the weekend.
116
00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,640
Sure, yeah, that's what they all say.
117
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,539
It's like my sister's husband.
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00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:38,020
He went away for the weekend.
119
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,659
He ain't been back in three years.
120
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,500
You know, Freddy is right.
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00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,300
Let me put it to you as delicately as
possible.
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00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,120
You've been dumped.
123
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,880
Take it from me.
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00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:55,320
There's only one way to get over a
woman.
125
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,280
Find another one.
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00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,900
I happen to know this girl. She's a
little too old for me. She's 19.
127
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,380
Just believe me, she's ready to trot.
128
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,800
Ready to trot? Yeah. Well, take her out
to Yonkers Raceway.
129
00:09:13,260 --> 00:09:16,980
Look, I appreciate your concern, but
Julie just went skiing for the weekend.
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00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:23,080
Come on, let's leave him alone. We
better go now, all right? Come on, let's
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00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,200
guys, right?
132
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,850
She just went skiing for the weekend.
133
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:36,790
Hey, Mr. Carter, it's not that bad.
134
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:40,090
My sister's second husband only stayed
away six months.
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00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:49,770
Be brave, little buckaroo.
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00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,700
Carter, I am the assistant principal,
after all, and you are just a teacher,
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00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:26,380
if you have some sort of problem... Yes,
I do have a problem. You see, my wife
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00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:28,240
suddenly decided... Oh, wife, husband
-wife problem.
139
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:35,140
I mean, I've never been either of those.
I mean, married, that is. If you had a
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00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:36,140
problem...
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00:10:36,819 --> 00:10:41,780
with the school supplies or the
teacher's pension plan. Listen, Mr.
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00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:44,920
Julie and I have been married for three
years, and this is the first time we've
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00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:45,920
been separated.
144
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,640
What do you mean? She left you?
145
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,900
Yes, for the weekend.
146
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:54,100
She went skiing in Vermont.
147
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,800
A ski weekend in Vermont?
148
00:10:57,420 --> 00:10:58,600
Mr. Woodman, what's wrong?
149
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,680
Carter, sit down, please.
150
00:11:02,740 --> 00:11:05,520
I'm going to tell you something very few
people know.
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00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:12,620
I was once engaged to be married to the
sweetest, purest girl who ever lived,
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00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,220
Bunny Schuldenfrey.
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00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,740
Bunny Schuldenfrey.
154
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,160
We were to be married on Christmas Day.
155
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:25,460
On the 21st of December, Bunny went on a
ski weekend to Vermont.
156
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:30,840
I don't know if it was moonlight in
Vermont or Max Schlicht in Vermont.
157
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:33,980
Who was Max Schlicht?
158
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:35,680
Her ski instructor.
159
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,040
I bet he had tight pants, huh?
160
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,180
And goggles.
161
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:47,480
Anyway, I, uh... I never saw Bunny
again.
162
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,240
What? You mean she just vanished?
163
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,800
Oh, no, I, uh... I heard from her once.
164
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,220
Postcard from the Alps.
165
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,740
It was during the war, and, uh... Max
was pretending to be Swiss.
166
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:10,520
I would never let a woman I loved spend
a ski weekend in Vermont.
167
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:22,400
So, you are Julie Carter, huh?
168
00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:26,820
Well, you're skinny but cute.
169
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,980
Not much meat there, but what there is
is choice.
170
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,000
I am the fabulously handsome Max Leak.
171
00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:42,290
Let's go mess around behind a snowdrift.
172
00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:45,650
We'll shush under the stars.
173
00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:48,230
We'll hot dog our way to heaven.
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00:12:49,930 --> 00:12:51,170
Come on, cutie pie.
175
00:13:10,570 --> 00:13:11,610
You got plans, right?
176
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:13,790
Oh, you and Eddie got dates.
177
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:15,030
Wow.
178
00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:18,410
Two S .I .M. students are flying in from
Bangkok.
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00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:21,390
Hey, they'll take their shoes off and
walk on your back.
180
00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:24,070
Coffee tea or hoo -hoo -hoo.
181
00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:29,910
Hey, listen, Marty, let's keep in touch,
huh? Give me a call sometime.
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00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:32,430
Terrific. Hey, nice talking to you
again, pal.
183
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:33,910
Bye.
184
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,590
Yeah, two S .I .M. students.
185
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,440
Probably two waitresses from the bowling
alley.
186
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:42,980
Let's see, who can I call?
187
00:13:44,020 --> 00:13:45,080
It's been so long.
188
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:49,000
Leon! Hey, it'd be great to see Leon.
189
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:15,989
Corporal Carter.
190
00:14:15,990 --> 00:14:17,070
How you doing, Leon?
191
00:14:17,910 --> 00:14:20,850
Hey, I'll tell you why I'm calling. My
wife went away for the weekend. I'm
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00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:21,850
thinking, what should I do?
193
00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:25,430
Then it hits me. I'll call up Leon, two
old army buddies. We'll get together and
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00:14:25,430 --> 00:14:26,349
shoot the breeze.
195
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,750
Come on, we'll kill her Friday night.
196
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,290
No, I didn't know that, Leon.
197
00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:33,270
I mean, how am I supposed to know that?
198
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,570
I didn't know that you became a rabbi.
199
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,650
Look, in the army, you aren't even
Jewish.
200
00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:45,060
Guess that takes care of Friday night,
huh?
201
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,540
Why don't we get together on a Sunday
night?
202
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,400
Terrific. I'll give you a call.
203
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,280
Okay. Shalom.
204
00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:56,220
Shalom.
205
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,220
S -H -A -L -O -M.
206
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:01,720
He's goodbye.
207
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,480
Goodbye, Leon.
208
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,820
Must be a reformer, haven't we?
209
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000
I can't do that.
210
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,240
Barbarino!
211
00:15:33,060 --> 00:15:34,060
Mr. Carter!
212
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,479
What do you mean, what?
213
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,560
Your teacher, Mr. Carter!
214
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:52,850
Hey, look, you know, I don't want to get
in the way of any plans that you guys
215
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:56,730
have made. No, no, no, no. Hey, no, man,
we wasn't planning anything special.
216
00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:01,590
I bet two blues and three whites.
217
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:04,410
I forget how much is that now.
218
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:09,130
Well, Mr. Carter wouldn't let us play
for no money, so two blues and three
219
00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:11,090
whites are worth two blues and three
whites.
220
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:13,930
Two blues and three whites.
221
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:15,890
I'm out.
222
00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:18,430
Hey, I want to talk to you. Come on,
we're going to play poker here. Hey,
223
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:21,720
I gotta talk business. Come on, I'm
talking to you. I'll be right back.
224
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:25,399
I'm out.
225
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,239
Buddy, please.
226
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:30,560
Now, um, I know that you're down, and I
know that you're depressed, and I think
227
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,960
that you and me should go out tonight.
228
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:36,700
All right? Now, Angel Weintraub has got
this older sister.
229
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,220
She don't care who she goes out with.
230
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,740
You mean, uh, she would even go out with
somebody like me?
231
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:46,999
Oh, yeah.
232
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,370
She's... She's going out with guys worse
than you.
233
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,070
Put that book away.
234
00:16:54,350 --> 00:16:57,210
Pick it up and put it away. I don't want
to see that book here anymore, all
235
00:16:57,210 --> 00:17:01,250
right? Now, look, for the last time,
Julie has gone away for the weekend. I
236
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:02,249
trust Julie.
237
00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:05,050
Now, if you can't trust your wife, who
can you trust, huh?
238
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:09,930
Meet him and we boys are full boat,
crying towel downstairs.
239
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,250
I win, I win, I win.
240
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:15,010
Come on, let me call Angel.
241
00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:16,710
We'll go meet his sister, right?
242
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:18,230
Sit down, Vinny.
243
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:19,349
Oh, we should.
244
00:17:20,869 --> 00:17:24,390
You know what you should do? You should
deal the cards, because it's your turn.
245
00:17:24,849 --> 00:17:26,730
I don't want to hear any more about
girls tonight, okay?
246
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:29,550
All right, all right. What are we coming
here for? We came to play cards. All
247
00:17:29,550 --> 00:17:31,830
right, all right. So are we going to
play cards or what?
248
00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:34,410
Let's play some cards. Here it is.
They're on the table.
249
00:17:34,690 --> 00:17:35,690
Vinny.
250
00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:37,790
Vinny, what kind of game is this?
251
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:41,510
Okay, the name of this game is five
-card forehead stud.
252
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:44,850
Sounds like a movie you guys aren't old
enough to see.
253
00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:51,720
The reason it's called five card is on
account everybody gets five cards,
254
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,280
Now, except four of them are face up
right now.
255
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,660
Now, I do the fifth one down like this,
right?
256
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:58,180
Bing, bang, bang.
257
00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:01,820
Now, you don't pick it up till I count
three.
258
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,460
I ain't even counted one yet.
259
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:11,620
Now, when I count three, you didn't pick
up the card, but don't look at it. And
260
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:14,820
you put it up on your forehead. Wait a
second. You put the card on your
261
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:15,820
forehead?
262
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,700
Don't you know anything about poker?
263
00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:20,180
I'm just trying to understand this game.
264
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,780
Okay, you got four cards face up. You
put the fifth card on your forehead. So
265
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:26,860
now everybody knows what you have, and
you're the only one that doesn't know
266
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:27,759
what you have, right?
267
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,700
Right. Dumb, dumb game. Let's do it. All
right. Ready?
268
00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:34,640
One. All right, all right. Antis, come
on. Let's ante. Nobody gets a free ride.
269
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,960
No free rides. No free rides. All right.
Here we go. Now, are we ready? All
270
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,180
right. One, two, three.
271
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:52,960
do look very ridiculous.
272
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,720
Especially you, Mr. Carter.
273
00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:02,040
I mean, we're just kids, but you are a
grown man with two hearts on your
274
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,040
forehead.
275
00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:04,220
Well,
276
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:05,800
I guess I'm out.
277
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,500
Ah, a fool.
278
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:09,980
I'm out, too.
279
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,900
Well, I guess that leaves me and you,
huh, Arnold?
280
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:17,160
Well, I'm gonna bet, and I'm gonna bet
big.
281
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,000
Make it five whites.
282
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:21,480
Five.
283
00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:24,570
and five blues.
284
00:19:25,150 --> 00:19:26,150
Uh -oh.
285
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,910
Well, that's it. Now you're going to
fold now, huh, Horshack?
286
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:35,450
No.
287
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,340
Hey, look, I gotta go. I mean, if I
don't get home by midnight, my mother
288
00:20:13,340 --> 00:20:14,480
my bed to somebody else.
289
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:17,420
Hey,
290
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,520
what's going? Is everybody leaving? Come
on.
291
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:23,040
Hey, look, why don't I put on some
records? We'll have another soda. I got
292
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,040
great old records.
293
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,460
Come on, I got Hermit's Hermits.
294
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:27,920
Jerry the Pacemaker.
295
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,000
I got a group you never heard. Danny and
the Juniors. You really love it. We'll
296
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:32,859
see you, right?
297
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:34,720
Hey, how about Danny without the
Juniors?
298
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:44,780
What's the matter with me?
299
00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:47,640
No wife, no friends.
300
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:49,780
I've got nothing here.
301
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,720
And why am I here where there's nothing?
302
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,400
I could be in Vermont where there's
Julie and Max Leach Jr.
303
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:04,300
I just pack up my suitcase and go to
Vermont.
304
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:05,560
That's it. Simple.
305
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,260
Let me see. Vermont's cold. Snow.
306
00:21:09,860 --> 00:21:12,040
Take a sweater, undershirt.
307
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,320
Bow tie. You need a bow tie.
308
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:15,300
Everybody's got a bow tie.
309
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,279
Let me see.
310
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:20,180
Belt. I'll pick a belt, put it around my
pants. I got a belt. All right. I got
311
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:21,520
mouthwash, shaving cream.
312
00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:23,579
Here we go.
313
00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:25,020
Mouthwash, shaving cream, razor.
314
00:21:26,260 --> 00:21:27,260
Okay.
315
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:30,420
My ears are going to be cold. I need
something for my ears. Where do I get...
316
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:31,680
Bathrobe.
317
00:21:32,580 --> 00:21:34,040
Drop a bathrobe around my ears.
318
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:35,680
My ears will be warm.
319
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,200
Great.
320
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:39,060
Skis. Terrific idea, Julie.
321
00:21:48,170 --> 00:21:49,910
anymore. She just never stopped talking.
322
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:53,790
Uh, what are you doing with the
suitcase?
323
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:55,290
Oh, the suitcase.
324
00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:58,250
Oh, well, uh, you know how you have fire
drills in school?
325
00:21:58,490 --> 00:22:01,810
Uh -huh. Well, I was having a packing
drill. You see, you never know when a
326
00:22:01,810 --> 00:22:05,350
trick's gonna break out. Right, an
absolute packing drill. Good, uh -huh.
327
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:08,030
What went on here tonight?
328
00:22:09,630 --> 00:22:12,690
Oh, this, this, well, you see, I had one
of my kinky parties.
329
00:22:13,630 --> 00:22:15,130
I have one every time you go away.
330
00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:18,100
I missed you.
331
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:20,400
Didn't you miss me?
332
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:21,840
Sure.
333
00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:23,380
A little.
334
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,240
I could always catch up with Candy.
335
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:31,660
I'm sure that she is still somewhere in
Vermont, talking to an empty chair.
336
00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:34,620
You know I missed you, dummy.
337
00:22:37,580 --> 00:22:38,940
You will go no place.
338
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,720
I am the fabulously handsome Max Slick
Jr.
339
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:51,300
And it seems we are snowed in for the
weekend.
340
00:22:51,660 --> 00:22:54,140
So why don't we get comfortable and
bundle up?
341
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:59,720
Um, when you say bundle up, what exactly
do you mean?
342
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:01,640
I will show you, Liebchen.
343
00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:04,140
It's easier than falling off skis.
344
00:23:13,180 --> 00:23:15,600
Julie, did you read about this? The
thing I have on a lumberjack strike.
345
00:23:16,380 --> 00:23:18,520
Did anybody tell you that I have a...
Wait, no.
346
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,100
You have a relative who is a lumberjack.
347
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,760
That's right, my Uncle Sanford. Now,
he's a small guy, but a great
348
00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:29,220
One day he goes up to this guy that's
about to cut down a redwood tree. Big
349
00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:31,800
huh? Uncle Sanford said, hey, mister,
come here.
350
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:33,920
You're doing this all wrong.
351
00:23:34,620 --> 00:23:37,420
The guy looks at him and says, well, I
suppose that you could do it better,
352
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,080
He said, give me the axe, huh? Just give
me the axe.
353
00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:43,640
One swoop, vroom, whole tree goes down.
354
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,100
Guy can't believe it. He said, where did
you learn to do that?
355
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,100
Uncle Sanford said, you want to know
where I learned to do that?
356
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,880
I learned to do that in the Sahara
Forest.
357
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,800
I said, you meant the Sahara Desert,
didn't you?
358
00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,860
Uncle Sanford said, now!
359
00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:18,420
Welcome back.
360
00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:22,360
Your dreams were your ticket out.
361
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:29,240
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
362
00:24:30,020 --> 00:24:33,660
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
363
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:38,240
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
364
00:24:39,340 --> 00:24:43,820
Who'd have thought they'd lead you?
Who'd have thought they'd lead you? Back
365
00:24:43,820 --> 00:24:44,820
here.
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