All language subtitles for welcome_back_kotter_s01e10_the_reunion

Did I tell you about the time my Aunt
Lucille took driving lessons?

No, but I have a feeling I'm going to
hear all about it.

Yes, because I know that you really want
to keep inside.

She's taking driving lessons, the
instructor is sitting on her side,

First of all, she puts her hand out the
window like this, then she goes like

this, and then she goes like this.

Well, why did she do that?

That's just what the instructor said.

Lucille, why did you do that?

She said, well, first I was going to
make a left turn, then I decided to make

right turn.

Then I decided not to make any turn, so
I erased the whole thing.

Welcome back, Connors. You're recorded
live on tape before a studio audience.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back.

To that same old place that you laughed
about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd need ya?

Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Back
here where we need ya. Back here where

we need ya. Yeah, we tease him a lot.
Cause we got him on the spot.

Welcome back.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome
back.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome
back.

Okay. Yeah, I'll tell him as soon as he
comes out. Uh -huh.

Yeah, six will be fine.

I am looking forward to meeting you and
Mary Frances, too.

Okay. Yeah, I'll see you later. Bye
-bye.

We'll never guess who just called.

So I don't have time. I'm late, Julie.

Come on. Guess who's coming to dinner?

Okay. What are you cooking?

My world -famous tuna casserole.

It's nobody that we ever want to see
again.

That's very cute.

I'll give you a hint.

I can't wait to see old Gabby Gabe
again.

Say that again.

I can't wait to see old Gabby Gabe
again.

Lyle Flanagan is coming here?

You guessed!

Boy, did he sound nice.

Of course he sounded nice.

Lyle Flanagan was the nicest boy who
ever went to Buchanan.

He's so nice, he would help old ladies
cross their legs.

Gabe, you should be happy.

You haven't seen Lyle Flanagan in ten
years.

Julie!

Did it ever occur to you that if you
haven't seen someone for ten years,

are it's because you don't want to?

Now I find out that when I'm in the
bathroom shaving, my wife, that's you,

invites a Lyle Flanagan to dinner.

You're mad at me.

Julie, I'm not mad at you. I just don't
want to have Lyle Flanagan over for

dinner.

What's wrong with Lyle Flanagan?

You want to know what's wrong with Lyle
Flanagan?

I'll tell you what's wrong with Lyle
Flanagan.

There's nothing wrong with Lyle
Flanagan.

That's what's wrong with Lyle Flanagan.

Lyle Flanagan is perfect.

Did you ever know a kid went through
school without a pimple, a blemish?

I wouldn't even settle for a wart.

We were on a basketball team together.
Lyle Flanagan used to score 30 points a

game and he would never sweat.

I was second string. I used to sit on
the bench and sweat.

The only person that was as bad as Lyle
Flanagan was that Miss Personality

cheerleader you used to go out with.

If her name is Mary Frances, it's going
to be old home week around here tonight.

That figures.

I knew that those two were going to get
married.

They look so nice, they probably stood
on their own wedding cake.

Well, maybe they're not so nice anymore.

Julie. Lyle Flanagan is not a bad guy.

He's not mean. He's not hostile.

Throughout school, he always acted
superior.

You want to know something?

What? He was.

What are you going to do?

While I'm at school today, working with
my students, move.

up all by myself this morning.

Not today, all right, Arnold? Someday
we'll discuss the history of the whoopee

cushion and the dribble glass, but not
today.

All right, swan hogs, another day,
another dollar.

Let's get right to work.

Book reports.

Mr. Carter, what does that mean, another
day, another dollar?

Well, Vinnie, in the case of teachers,
it comes very close to being a financial

statement.

Book reports.

Hey, Mr. Carter.

Mr. Epstein.

Couldn't you get rich being a teacher?

Epstein, I have enough money to last me
for the rest of my life. Uh -huh.

Unless I want to buy something.

Why? Huh?

Oh, well, you know, I was thinking about
being a teacher, you know? But, like,

if there's not enough bucks in it, why
be a sap, huh?

No, I think I'm going to be a street
sweeper. It says here, you know, uh...

can make 18 ,000 bucks a year.

Where? Right here, 18 ,000 bucks a year.

Don't bring papers into class.

That's in San Francisco.

That's where they have all those
earthquakes.

They should get paid that much money.
They got to sweep buildings up off the

street.

All right, quit the stalling. Book
reports.

One last question.

Okay, Freddy.

But make it simple and make it quick.

Mr. Cartier.

What is the meaning of life?

Ah, sweat hopper.

You asked the meaning of life.

You must go to Epstein's gym locker.

Open it up.

Take one deep breath.

will survive that, you will survive
anything.

All right, let's go. Book report.

I got one, master.

Book report.

The Arabian Nights.

Adventure. 1942.

Black and white.

Two brothers, John Hall and Leif
Erikson, fight over a throne.

Maria Montez, Cebu, Tarham Bay.

90 minutes.

Repeat.

How was the movie?

Oh, it was wonderful.

Cebu and the elephant lived happily ever
after.

Mr. Coddick, you got my book report.

Oh, another surprise.

Trailer Park Cutie.

By Miss M.

An original nightstand classic.

Monica New.

That one man was too much.

Yet ten were not enough.

That's enough, Vinnie.

She awoke in the morning glistening. I
don't care about her glistening.

Next time you bring a book report in and
a plain brown wrapper.

That's enough.

Enough.

You know, sometimes I wonder why I
bother with you people at all.

Don't you like teaching, Gus, Mr.
Carter?

I love teaching, Arnold.

Teaching is my chosen profession.

But there are days like today when all I
am is a straight man for sweat hogs.

I might as well have become a door -to
-door salesman.

make a sale.

Mr. Carter, what's bugging you, huh?
What's bugging you? You want to know

bugging me?

Okay, I'm going to tell you what's
bugging me.

I have a bad case of Lyle Flanagan.

When did you first notice that something
was wrong with your Flanagan?

as a person, Freddy. We went to school
here together.

Well, come on, Mr. Carter. Why don't you
tell us about him?

There's nothing to tell. We went to
school together. We were on the

team together.

Now I heard he's making a million
dollars.

He's in a big office building with 18
secretaries, and I'm back here where I

started.

Don't you find teaching a rewarding
experience, Mr. Carter?

Aren't you happy with us? Yeah, you
know, you didn't have to be a teacher,

Carter. Hey, Mr. Carter, man, you could
have made just a whole lot of money.

That's right, Freddy, I could have. I
mean, I have plenty of opportunities.

Heather Weintraub's father wanted me to
go into the funeral biz, as Heather used

to call it.

Well, why did he do it?

Because Heather looked like she modeled
for the caskets.

You know, Mr. Carter, I get the distinct
impression that you are not happy.

Why shouldn't I be happy, Arnold? So
far, it's been a terrific day.

First of all, I wake up late. Second of
all, my wife... Cooks me orange juice

for breakfast.

Then she invites somebody I haven't seen
in ten years who I don't want to see to

dinner tonight.

Then I come to school, and Arnold
Horschak has me chasing a wallet down

hall.

And after that, nobody's done their book
report. Epstein was up till two o

'clock in the morning with Say Boo,
Maria Montez, Repeat.

Barbarino did a book report, too.

Park Key by Miss M.

Monica knew that ten men were not
enough, but a hundred was too many. And

wants to know why Mr. Couture ain't
making $18 ,000 a year like some street

sweeper in San Francisco.

Now I got seven more classes I gotta go
through today, then I gotta go home and

have tuna casserole, blech, with Captain
No -Pimple and his wife, Sister Mary

Pompom.

Hey, look, I got a great idea.

They're here.

This is my idea.

Make a very thin sandwich and slide it
under the door.

We can't do that.

Can we?

No.

It wouldn't be nice.

And we gotta be nice. Lila and Mary
Frances are coming, so we're gonna be

nice, nice.

wife. This is Julie, Mary Frances.

So nice to meet you. Gabe has told me so
much about you and Lyle.

Lyle is still parking his car.

He is so fussy about that car.

I'd hate to tell you how much it costs.

Well, was there a lot of traffic?

$14 ,500.

A lot of traffic.

Go take your coat, Mary Frances.

must be Julie.

You're just as pretty as you sounded on
the phone.

What a nice thing to say.

Thank you. That's my Lyle. Gabe, you old
son of a gun.

How you doing, Lyle? Well, Gabe, I don't
mind telling you that I'm making a

bundle. A bundle.

You hear that, Julie? Old Lyle here's in
the bundle business.

Let me make you a drink. Great.

Lyle, isn't it sweet?

that Gabe still lives in the old
neighborhood.

Oh, I remember what this neighborhood is
like.

That's why I'm glad I found a spot right
in front of the building.

Gabe, that car of mine eats gas like a
bus, and I'd hate to tell you what I

for it.

$14 ,500.

You've got one, too?

The city takes care of my bus. They lock
it up at night so they can paint over

the graffiti.

It's a joke!

He means the bus, bus, Mary Frances.

Mary Frances.

Oh, Gabe was always funny, remember?

I mean, Gabe always had something to
say. That's why we called him Gabby

Didn't we, Gabby Gabe?

I have nothing to say.

Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.

Julie, do you know what I would love?
No.

A tour of the house. Do you mind?

I would be delighted to take you on a
tour of the house. Oh, thank you.

Let us start over here in our spacious
dining room.

This is where visiting heads of state
have been known not to show up.

Two steps to the right, and we're in our
kitchen, which, as you see, is

decorated in early Munchkin.

Now, over here, this is our spacious
foyer.

Trying to keep up with the tour, Mary
Frances?

That's my den out there. which is
decorated in early fire escape.

Now, the third one to the right, you see
the one over there with the racing

stripes and the chrome?

That's our garbage can.

Which brings us back to our bedroom,
which your husband Lyle is sitting on.

Why, it's the most quaint and charming
little apartment I've ever seen, isn't

it, Lyle? I can't imagine what we're
doing with five bedrooms.

I can't imagine what you guys are doing
in one bedroom.

I mean, you're so busy, I wouldn't think
you had any time to sleep. Oh.

Do you have any children?

No.

Mary Frances was always more willing to
die than do anything to mess up her

hair.

heard about your famous tuna casserole.

Yeah, we didn't want your dinner guests
going hungry.

So we decided to bring some real food,
you know?

A taste of the good life.

Fine food in a gracious setting.

Is that your car parked out there?

Yes. The black one? Yeah. Yeah? Well,
you better get it out of here in a

man. There's a Puerto Rican family
moving in at this. What?

We make it around a lot in class.

We only do it because we like you,
really.

Yeah, and we don't want to lose you, Mr.
Carter.

Yeah, we want you to see that you ain't
got to be rich to live big.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

Where'd you guys get all this stuff?

Yeah, I mean, it looks like the U .N.
cafeteria.

Well, you see, we told our folks that
you finally got tired of us.

They wanted to quit teaching, so they
sent this stuff over, you know? As a

of gratitude, so that you'll know how
much you meant to them.

And us, too.

Yeah, my mom says to tell Mr.

Carter, anybody who can keep my wine in
school deserves my specialty.

You see, it's a Puerto Rican Jewish
dish.

It's called, uh, a filter.

Mo -fang -lo.

I'm well off. We're rich, Lyle.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Vinnie Barbarino.

Head sweat hog here.

You probably want to know more about me.
No.

Mary Frances, these are the new sweat
hogs. Yeah, we're the new sweat hogs.

of me?

Lyle, to these kids, being a sweat hog
is a badge of honor.

You know, not everybody can be a sweat
hog.

Hey, man, that's true, man. You take my
main man. Mr. Carter here, for example.

Ain't that right, brother?

Man, he was a sweat hog once.

Now, he don't want to be no more sweat
hog. No more.

Hey, Freddy, come on. That's not true.

Lyle, I was uncomfortable about you
coming here, and I told them about it,

think that's what they're doing here.

They're my students, but they're also my
friends.

I'm a sweat hog, and I guess I'm always
going to be one.

I mean, you don't make a lot of money,
but you meet an interesting class of

people.

So you and Mary Frances are welcome to
stay, but if you don't want to be around

sweating... Wait a minute. Wait a
minute, Gabe.

Let me tell you something.

I know that you never really liked me
very much, and... Well, that's not true.

No, it is true. I knew it all along.

But you let me hang around, and for that
I was grateful.

Here, what did you want to hang around
with me?

Envy. That's it.

I'm still envious of you. Oh, lie, lie.

You're riding around in a $14 ,000 car
and you envy me? That's right.

Why?

Gabe, you don't know how much you've got
with your students.

I mean, what do I have?

What I'm saying is it's not so nice
being nice.

It's boring being nice.

Gabe, all through school, I wanted to be
a sweat hog.

But dirt never stuck to me.

I was too perfect.

It's love.

being perfect. It's boring being
perfect.

It's boring being rich. I have five
boring bedrooms.

Am I included in those five boring
bedrooms?

Mary Frances, no one has a headache for
seven years.

Lyle, what are you saying?

Well, I think that sounds like sweat hog
talk to me.

Yeah? You really think so?

Well, don't take my word for it. Ask the
experts.

Well, that was sort of like a rink, you
know.

I think I'll give him an A for effort
and a C for the execution.

Okay.

Yeah, well, he's real white bread, you
know, but, uh... Okay.

Congratulations, Mr.

Flanagan.

Well, I guess that's it. You're an
honorary sweat hog.

Right.

And thank you. You made me feel as rich
as you are. Gabe, you are.

You're richer.

And you're not in trouble with the
internal revenue.

That was a good one, Mary Frances.

What? What was?

The rank. You just ranked Lyle.

Congratulations, Mrs.

Flanagan.

Now you're...

Wants a barbecue his whole life. A
barbecue, okay. Right, he likes to cook

right? So he finally buys a barbecue.
He's so happy. He's down in the

He's cooking a couple of steaks, and
he's singing, Oh, sir, I'm your la -la

-la.

Drunk walks by. He goes, Hey, mister,
you got a terrific voice.

Put your monkeys on fire.

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Yeah, we tease him a lot. Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Because we got him on the spot.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, we
tease him a lot.