All language subtitles for waiting_for_god_s02e02_the_partition

Oh, look at this, Antonio.

Your bulbs are upside down, you fool.

Votre fleurs sont... What is the French
for upside down?

Quel est le français for upside down?

It's Portuguese, Diana.

I do not speak Portuguese, Jane.

Will you please not confuse the issue?

Bad enough trying to communicate with
this sardine -sucking incompetence

getting slapped around like a bat on
heat.

Look!

Upside down, oh!

What are you trying to do, make them pop
up in Sydney?

Go on.

Oh, God, how did Vasco de Gama ever make
it home?

Mr Baines did ask you not to throw
things at the staff.

It's very bad for morale if the people
they're trying to care for keep

them.

What do you want, Jane?

Two things.

There's a new resident joining us.

Oh, another condemned soul coming across
the sticks.

Her name's Daisy Williams, and she's
very sweet.

So knock that out of her.

Harvey asked if you'd like to show her
round.

Me? Why?

He thinks it'd be nicer to have an
actual resident helping people get

acquainted. Sounds like a halfway decent
idea.

How on earth did the cretin Baines come
up with that? I thought he was still

struggling with his reading lessons.

Well, I might have sowed the seeds.

I thought so.

Smacked of your clotted cream, gooey
niceness oozing all over the carpet.

Thanks, Diana.

What was your second point?

It's Tom.

Oh, my God, what's he up to now?

He won't get out of bed.

No. Well, he's away, isn't he? Off on
his endless travels through his library

B movies.

He's been caught at the Antarctic all
week.

Couldn't get near the bloody fridge.

Tom?

Tom, where are you?

Tom, Jane Russell is outside in her
swimwear.

Wondered if you would like a quick dip?

I haven't seen Jane Russell.

Just go away, Jane, and leave this to
me.

Harvey's getting his son over.

You hear that, Tom? They're bringing in
your idiot son and his revolting wife.

Now, if you're still unconscious, Marion
will kill you for scrap.

Tom?

Ground control to Captain Tom.

What's up, old stick?

Oh, Diana.

Tom, what is it?

Oh, Diana.

Yes?

Oh, Diana.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

What is the matter with you?

I feel a bit lost, Diana.

Round here or at the South Pole?

Here. Well, why aren't you getting out
of bed?

That doesn't seem much point.

No, of course there's no point.

There is no point in the entire
universe. There is no point in the

the vacuum from whence it came.

No point or purpose in anything.

No design, no nothing.

Nothing and then more nothing.

I only said I didn't want to get out of
bed.

Why not?

I'm lonely.

I am on my own.

Oh, no, you're not.

You've just got a fit of the blues.

Happens to us all at our age.

You know what I do when I feel really
down?

I get up, I get dressed, I go out, and I
do something really vile to someone.

Mobile library will be due here soon.
Why don't we go and drive her up the

I miss my wife.

What, your real wife?

Yes, dear Maggie. She slipped away from
me 15 years ago.

Yesterday. Oh, I see. I mean, you could
be surrounded with people all day,

chattering away, doing things, but there
comes a moment when you climb into bed,

switch out the light, and you're on your
own.

No one to share a thought with, no one
to share a hope with, no one to share

darkness. All alone.

Lonely.

Well, I can see today is going to be a
bundle of laughs.

He miffed his mummy.

According to Diana.

But she's been dead and buried for 15
years.

Well, she was cremated, actually.

She's in a tin in the potting shed.

God almighty.

She was a strange woman.

I found a sort of impression.

She didn't like me. Oh, surely not.

Anyway, if we could get to the point, I
do have a migraine coming on. Try

cutting your head off. That should fix
it.

What do you want us to do?

I thought maybe a change of scenery
might cheer him up a bit. I thought

you could take him home with you for a
while.

What? With us?

To our house?

Well, why not?

I just had the carpet shampooed.

What?

He's old.

He hasn't got full control of all his
bowels. He leaps.

Jane, get me a machete. I have to do a
headache to me.

Not now, Diana.

Come on, dear. We'll have a chat with
him.

I suppose it's monstrous genetic
throwbacks like her that make the human

totally incapable of making any real
progress.

Yeah, she's an interesting woman.

Daisy Williams is arising.

Ah, the new internee.

Tell him to hold the dogs and let her
through the wire. I'm coming right down.

What is going on?

The new instruction scheme.

Diana's going to show around.

Diana? We agreed.

Her current residence... Yes, but a
decent resident.

Not Diana Foulmouth Trent.

God, Jane, I thought I was stupid until
I met you.

Oh, you are, Harvey.

I mean it, not Harvey.

Of course you're not. I'm the one that's
stupid.

You're not nearly as stupid as I am.
Jane, you're touching me.

Sorry.

Well,

you don't mind if I smoke, do you? No,
of course not.

I've still got full power of one lung.

Besides, I've always had a yen for
emphysema.

It's what took my dear Maggie off.

I'd feel an extra closeness if we both
died of the same disease.

We both miss Mummy too, Dad, don't we,
Marion?

Oh, yes, yes.

Lovely lady.

But she has had a good run.

And we can't all sit in bed forever just
because someone dies.

You should find yourself a hobby.

When my pet hamster died, I took up
Japanese paper folding.

Origami.

Well, that's what it was called.

The paper folding, not my hamster.

God. Let me handle this, Marion.

Why don't you go and plump up the
cushions?

Oh, right -o.

Oh, Geoffrey, how could you let a thing
like that into your life?

She has a good point, I suppose.

I remember when your mother first met
her, she came to me and she said, Tom,

that was my name then.

It still is, Dad.

Tom, she said, Geoffrey is going to
marry the Wicked Witch of the West.

I'm sure she didn't, Dad.

No, probably not.

She was far too kind to be really
honest.

You're going to have to come to terms
with it, Dad, being on your own. Unless,

of course, you weren't on your own.

Not now, dear. No, no, no.

What does she mean?

Well, you could always find someone
else.

Oh, I could never do that.

Oh, why not?

Oh, you don't have to get married these
days.

I'm sure the countryside is littered
with old ducks on their own.

Who knows?

One of them might have a tidy little
thumb.

I mean, living here on your own.

Not cheap, you know. I do pay for
myself.

Oh, yes, of course you do. But the money
could be used elsewhere.

You do have a family, after all.

Have you ever thought of cheese wire
round the neck?

What did he say?

He's talking about grotting, you dear.

Nice.

The building has at times been a
monastery and a

lunatic asylum.

I've now managed to combine the two in
this aberration known as the Bayview

Retirement Village for the almost dead.

was designed by an architect who was
obviously under heavy medication at the

time.

Much like that insipid, clot -headed
shyster who runs the place now.

Right, Harvey Baines.

Believed to be a member of the human
race, the decision is under appeal.

He's aided and abetted by that harmless
animated flannel, Jane Edwards.

We all enjoy making her life a total
misery.

Aren't you being rather frightful?

I beg your pardon?

You do seem to me to be the most
extraordinarily offensive person.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

Let's do the inside of the stalag now,
shall we?

And this is the communal trough.

foodstuffs considered unfit for human
consumption end up here.

See this yogurt?

Sell -by date is in Roman numeral, we
will.

Ah!

Say hello...

If it's not too much of a strain on your
vocabulary. We have met. It's Rose,

isn't it? Daisy, actually.

Such a lovely name. My mother was called
Rose. And this is Jenny, who runs the

dining room and does the lobotomy.

Take no notice of her, Mrs. Williams.

Diana is a very warped person.

I think she just enjoys trying to shock
people.

It's a common trait amongst the ill
-mannered and ill -bred.

Ill -bred?

Yes. Which is your table?

Well, it's this one.

Right. Well, then, I think I will sit
over there.

Jenny. Good day to you, Miss Trent. It
is myth, isn't it? I wouldn't imagine

that anyone of your sour disposition
could ever have been married.

Well, well, well.

Looks like you met your match there, eh,
Diana?

Just go away or I'll kill you, Harvey.

Oh, how charming.

Death threats in the dining room. Go
away, right -o. Why not? I'm not

What -o, Diana?

Have you got up?

Yes. I've found a new solution to my
problems. We must have a chat. Will you

join me for yum -yums?

No, thank you. I'm not hungry.

What's going on up here?

What, oh?

My name is Scott, Captain Scott.

And these are my two faithful huskies.

I'm very pleased to meet you.

Why don't you park your sleigh and come
and join us?

Ill -bred.

Ill -mannered, fine, but ill -bred.

Just bloody rude.

Now look what she's done.

That's one china doll that means shoving
off the mantelpiece.

Hello, old thing.

You missed a great lunch. It's Thursday.
I missed a dead rabbit.

No, no.

I mean that new girl, Daisy Williams.

What a sport.

She had us in fits with her parodies of
Kipling.

Oh, jolly good. Bang another hockey
stick on the fire.

Got some grand stories. And she knew
Shaw.

Sandy? No, George Bernard.

Oh.

So she is as old as she looks. But as
young as she feels.

Oh, my God. Show them a petticoat.

Her husband was an army waller.

Died last year.

Has she never heard of sutty?

What? It's a charming old Indian custom
whereby the wife throws herself on the

dead hubby's bonfire.

Oh, you're not being a little negative
about her, are you, Diana?

Negative? Me?

No. Of course not. I'm absolutely
delighted.

I've always wanted a real -life Major
Barbara banging about the place, telling

me what common muck I am.

Was there something you wanted, Tom?

Yes, actually, there was.

Well, speak up, man.

I was wondering if you would like to
shack up with me.

I'm sorry, Tom, I don't think I heard
you correctly. I thought you asked me

to... shat up with you. Do correct me if
I'm wrong.

No, that's it.

Well, if you would like to place your
head upon the floor, I will endeavour to

kick it clean off your shoulders.

Oh, no, Diana. I don't mean the Humpty
Dumpty Inky Pinky Harley Voo Hoops Golly

Hoops for Tennis Bits. Do you mean sex?

No, Diana.

There's no point in having a language
which encourages the use of...

Complex euphemisms. If you come charging
along using words like what you've just

said. What do you want, Tom? I just
meant the living together bit.

Living together? What, you and me?

Yes, we almost do already.

Remember when I came here first, there
was a little floral barrier between us?

Well, that's gone now.

I mean, we would only need one kitchen,
one bathroom, one bedroom. One bedroom?

Two beds.

Then I wouldn't feel lonely.

And you'd have a man about the place.

A man about the place. Yes, but mainly
think of the money we'd save.

Ah, the money.

Yes, so what do you say?

Would you care to give me a little while
to think about your wonderful offer?

I do.

Antonio?

on the shelf.

They get bitter and twisted and turn on
everyone and then on themselves and

finally go mad.

Are you married, Miss Edwards?

No, not.

Excuse me.

Hello, Jane.

Goodbye, Jane.

Strange girl.

What's the matter with her?

Probably something I said. It usually
is. I have a tendency to speak my mind.

Say what I think.

Why don't you stand up straight?

What's the matter with this place? L .M
.F.

Lack of moral fibre.

My late husband, Charlie, would soon
have whipped this lot into shape.

Your late husband?

Tell me, do you miss him?

Is it that obvious?

No, not at all.

Frankly, I fail to see the point in
outliving him.

We were a unit.

The colonel and his second -in -command.

We did everything the right way at the
right time.

We worked for the country. This country.

All our lives. We were owed... We were
owed our time together

at the end.

But we didn't get it, did we?

Lonely.

Yes.

Very lonely.

Still, not much one can do about that,
is there?

I mean, it's not as though one were
foreign and could weep and wail all over

place. Oh, no, right.

Stiff upper thingies.

If you don't hold your head up properly,
you'll get a stoop when you get older.

Sorry.

So, have you thought about my offer,
Diana?

Are we to become live -in...

That's definitely my room.

My conservatory.

But not my wall.

Excuse me, wall.

How do you do?

My name is Scott, but you can call me
Tom.

Now, look, this is nothing personal,
wall. It's just that I think you are at

wrong address.

What's that?

Diana put you there.

I thought she might have done.

Any idea why?

No?

Maybe we'd better ask her.

Hello?

do you want?

Nothing. Nothing.

Good.

What do you want?

Correct me if I'm wrong, Diana.

I know I do sometimes stray from the
rigid paths of perceived reality. I know

that I also have occasional hiccups in
my logical progressions. I know that.

What do you want?

Is this a wall here?

It is.

In actual...

Real life?

Yes.

I see.

And it is erected at your instigation?

Yes. You are desirous to emulate the
Emperor Hadrian?

Only when there are barbarians next
door.

What have I done?

You've no idea, have you?

It is something I said.

break her fingers.

Diana, why don't you have a sing -song?

I have never heard a sing -song in my
life, Jane.

I'm quite capable of reading without the
assistance of a bandit.

That is a wooden partition.

Brilliant, Harvey. We all thought it was
a bit of fish.

I mean it is an unauthorised wooden
partition.

That's hardly the point. It is very much
the point. It contravenes all building

and fire regulation.

I mean, what would he do if a fire broke
out here? You tell me that, Jane.

I expect he'd step out of the window
here.

Nobody asked you, Jane.

It'll have to go.

The problem, Harvey, is not the wall
itself.

But the reason it is there, why did
Diana put it up at all?

To upset me, of course. Everything that
woman ever does is done to upset me. Oh,

she told me that was too easy.

She's bored with that.

This is because of me, I think. Well,
why don't you ask her?

She won't tell me. Well, what do you
expect me to do about it?

My job is to run this place efficiently
and economically without illegal

partitions popping up all over the
place.

Personal problems are not my area at
all. Well, whose area are they?

Yes, now sort it out, Jane.

Diana's gone too far this time. Now you
tell that vicious old stoat I want this

wall removed, okay?

Hello, Diana.

Yoo -hoo!

I said, you...

You don't want to swear at me?

No.

Nice wall you've got there.

Sit. Sorry? Sit down.

Right.

You want to know why I have built a wall
between myself and Tom?

Well, you know... Yes.

Awesomely improbable as it may seem,
Jane, you and I have something in

We do?

What is it?

We're women.

We are single women.

And likely to remain that way.

Oh, Diana.

The only difference is that whereas I am
happily resigned to my connubial

solitude, you cling desperately to the
hope that that idiot Baines will one day

park his Gucci slippers beneath your
sorry cot.

That's very cruel, Diana.

My relationship with Harvey is purely
business.

I just happen to admire him from afar
for the fine human being that he is.

Good God.

Well, anyway, Jane, even though we are
single, it does not mean that we like

being taken for granted.

It does not mean that we don't like to
be courted.

It does not mean that we like to be
treated like some money -saving device.

It does not mean that we are open to
callous invitations to shack up with

someone.

Nobody's ever asked me to shack up with
them.

No, well, they have me.

Oh.

You mean... Oh.

I don't blame Tom.

He's daft. He's away with the fairies
most of the time.

Runs on a different gauge track to the
rest of us.

But until now, he's always been
possessed of a certain goodness of

I've done my best to make him see how
awful life is, but thank God he's always

come smiling through, through innocent.

This time he has hit the buffers and I
was standing right in front of them.

And I'm not amused.

But will you forgive them?

Yes, of course I will.

Eventually.

Maybe I could help.

Yes, maybe you could.

Diana, I'm getting a bit fed up with it.

And you've put a boat on your side,
haven't you?

Oh, well, I don't care.

You want to be Howard Hughes, you be
Howard Hughes.

And I hope your fingernails grow so long
they stab you.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't know.

Yoo -hoo!

Ah, Jane, have you spoken with her? Yes.

What did you say?

She doesn't think Harvey and I have a
future together.

But what does she have to say about me?

I mean, I think she's wrong about
Harvey.

He's really a lovely man.

He just hides it sometimes.

Jane! Oh, sorry, yes, what did she say?

Um... She thinks you're daft. What? And
away with the fairies.

And she doesn't want to be taken for
granted and she doesn't want to shack up

with you.

And she was rude about Harvey's
slippers.

Well, that's charming, I must say.

I make her a wonderful proposition and
she throws it back in my face. Well,

that's it. I'm never going to talk to
her again.

Oh, no, you mustn't do that.

I'm here to patch things up.

Oh, dear, I don't seem to be getting it
right.

Hello? Hello?

Daisy. Ah, Daisy. How nice to see you.
You know Jane, don't you? Yes, of

Hello, dear. Nice to see you. Do run
along.

That's all right, dear. About your
duties.

Yes, right. Bye.

Ah, David. What can I do for you? You
can put on your hat, you can take my

and we shall go for a stroll.

Oh.

Oh.

Yes, why not?

Jolly good idea. Just what a chap needs.

It gets awfully stuffy and confused in
here.

Off we go. We shall go down to the lake.

I've got some plans for shaping things
up around here.

Jolly good.

Tell me, do you have any organisational
abilities?

I have organised three Arctic
expeditions.

We'll make a grand... team.