All language subtitles for vip_s03e07_magnificent_val

This is it. This is my favorite
restaurant. It's probably the best sushi

.A. Probably the world's.

You know you can't get good sushi
outside of Japan.

You're going to eat your words, Missy.
We'll get the door for you.

These are my friends, Tasha and Quick.

And Tasha is an expert in cold fish.

I'm going to make it.

Fish out of the bag.

Fish out of the bag.

So, was I right or what?

Everything compared to Fuji Sushi is
just fistic.

Wow, you are preaching to the converted.

You said you couldn't afford to pay me,
but then you stocked yourself with more

trinkets. Please, I'm just trying to run
a business.

Why don't you just...

Hand over the deed to your business, and
all of this will go away.

Fuji's back.

He's back again.

Please, hurry.

That guy was breathing kind of heavy. I
don't think that was his ago order.

Fuji's in trouble.

We've got to help him.

I'm in. I'm going to order another
opportunity to roll.

This is my territory. I have
responsibilities.

If you don't paint, you and your...

A man -to -man fight with guns to back
you up?

It is you who has no honor, old man.

This isn't good for anybody's digestion.

I can think of something worse.

Ninja Diesel.

If that is the kind of war you want,
you'll be responsible for the bloodshed.

You won't always have your friends
around to protect you, old man.

Let's go.

Fuji,

what's going on?

The

beautiful

and lethal Valerie Irons.

Plucked from obscurity to head an elite
Los Angeles bodyguard agency.

They know how to get things done.

Eventually.

That's him. Who's he?

Desmond Susari, the L .A. leader of the
powerful Okamura Yakuza clan.

The police report says they've taken
over most of Little Tokyo.

They were probably at the gift shop
collecting protection money.

Well, if they want protection, they're
going to get it.

Valerie Irons protection.

Listen, Val.

The lives of Fuji and his neighbors
revolve around traditions.

Now, getting involved...

Might make matters worse.

We can't let Fuji get hurt.

He makes the best spiderweb in town.
Val, Fuji told us to butt out.

Vicki's right.

No one has even hired us.

Hi.

We're the First Street Neighborhood
Association.

We wanted to thank you for helping us
yesterday.

Oh, that's okay. We like to help people.

We're good guys.

We checked your profiles on VIP's
website so we can choose an appropriate

for each of your personal tastes.

Oh, I shouldn't have.

No.

Oh! God, but I do love clothes. Thank
you.

Ah, a tea ceremony set.

Thank you.

Veto period throwing dagger.

Nice.

Japanese fireworks.

The kind that blow off your hand.

Oh, my gosh.

The exclusive Japanese silver Pikachu
edition.

Japanese garden calendar.

Thank you.

Whoa. Now you talk.

It's very thoughtful.

What the hell did you say about me on
our webpage?

Miss Irons, we've come to ask for your
help again.

Desmond Cusati is trying to drive us out
of our shops.

Why can't you call the police?

They can't stop him.

But Fuji told us to stay out of it.

Fuji is from a great samurai family.

However, he is getting very old and
Desmond Cusati is getting much more

powerful.

After you left, he accepted Fuji's
challenge to fight alone.

We're sure it's a trap.

So you want to hire us?

We would be forever grateful.

You guys, sometimes being a bodyguard is
about doing the right thing.

Are you alone?

Of course.

Don't worry.

They won't interfere.

Unless I need them to.

Hello? Anybody in there?

We won't interfere either.

Unless we have to.

Is this a test of blades or a bullet?

Then let's make this a final exam.

It's in my eye!

He gave you his sword.

Should I give it back?

Val, a samurai never lets anyone touch
his sword.

Unless he... Val, giving you his sword
is the same thing as passing on his

family name.

You're now responsible for his family's
honor.

Mickey and Quick just called in.

Fuji's in the... intensive care ward at
the hospital.

He's unconscious, but the doctors say
he's going to pull through.

Which means we have to take on Kasari
ourselves.

You know what? I don't get it. First you
want me to stay out of the samurai

business, then you keep pulling me back
in.

Well, when Fuji gave you the sword, you
took responsibility for his family's

honor.

Their traditions go back 2 ,000 years.
If we don't honor them, we're lost.

We have to defeat the Yakuza with
traditional weapons. That means no guns.

Well, I'll need to go into training.

Especially you, Val.

Oh, my God. This is so Karate Kid.

Keep her out here where she can't
destroy anything important.

Hey, Val.

Listen, we're going to work out here.

There's a lot of room for you to grow,
okay? Oh, good. I love the beach.

Sounds good.

Looks like we both have our own katanas.

Yours looks very old.

Given to me by the Japanese secret
servant.

Was made by the sword master, Masaki.

Late 16th century.

Masaki. You know, legend has it that all
of his blades drive their masters

insane with bloodlust.

What?

Well, that explains it, doesn't it?

Okay, Val. We better get started, huh?

Okay.

I want you to do one hand here, like
this.

The other hand here.

Slight squeeze.

One smooth cut.

One step in.

Three words for you.

Fabulous. Well, Val, just remember, keep
it simple, relax, okay?

Okay. I'll show you something.

Okay, Val.

He never gets shop owners to move out
with her around.

So we have to make sure they aren't
around.

We need someone to destroy Valerie
Irons.

No man on earth can defeat her in
combat.

There is one man.

Hirata the Black.

He's not the man.

He's a demon from hell.

Why would he help us?

He never leave Japan.

He might.

For a chance to fight the great Valerie
Irons.

Secondhand smoke.

Kills.

What's with the mattresses?

Health training.

What does she need I should thought it
would be cheaper in the long

Unpredictable.

Move so fast.

You know, it's sort of reminding me of
the drunken monkey style in Kung Fu.

Drunken monkey?

I can relate to that.

Especially the monkey part.

More like the idiotic monkey.

Well, listen, a true master trains to
have the instinct of a child.

Okay, maybe you could take the rest of
the day off.

You didn't think that old man and that
woman could stop me from taking what's

mine, did you?

I

need

to get a message to Valerie Ion.

but I cannot stop my way out of a sword
fight.

Now, Fuji and everybody is really
depending on me, and I just, I can't do

Max. Look, I don't know about this
Eastern mumbo -jumbo stuff, but Fuji

a sword.

So maybe he sees something special in
you that nobody else sees, including

yourself.

I don't know.

Well, I know there's nobody else I'd
rather have watching my back.

Oh, well, now you're lying.

No, no, I am serious.

I'm serious. Remember at the Lipstick
concert when you put... Get that guy out

of the way just in time before he can
throw up on my back. Yeah, well, I know

how you were wearing my Gucci sweater.

Yeah, but what I'm saying is that you
just have a natural instinct.

And I would trust that any day over some
chop stocking stuff.

I think you can do it.

Oh, no.

Looks like I'm going to have to.

We dropped the ball.

I'm so sorry. Let me help you.

I knew this could happen if we stood up
to Desmond.

Well, what can we do?

Nothing.

We cannot fight this.

The Yakuza have won.

Everyone has decided to turn over their
businesses.

It is over.

Look,

I promise you, Desmond will pay.

We're VIP.

We don't play.

Get me Desmond Cuthard.

Wow.

It really looks like they're turning
around.

If only we had some kind of a plan.

Noon, she'll be there.

Desmond has agreed.

You are to meet here at high noon
tomorrow for a fight to the death.

One -on -one.

One -on -one?

He promised that if you win, he'll
bother us no more.

Nice plan.

Now all you have to do is win a fight to
the death.

last ever worthy opponent in Valerie
Irons.

No one even passed up with Framley.

Come on, fight!

Faustus is going to have to back out. It
doesn't mean he's going to kill her.

No, Desmond is good, but he's not a
brutal.

Val stopped him before.

He's going to be ready this time, okay?
You and I could beat him.

But Val, if he'll get flight, that means
he pulls her sword.

Desmond backed down the last time they
met.

Why is he so eager to fight now?

She would like to find out.

Well, maybe it's time to do some ninja
style recon, huh?

No matter what Desmond does.

How are we going to make Val a sword
master overnight?

I may be able to arrange that.

Have no doubt.

The palm top is mightier than the sword.

What would you people do without me?

I can't believe I let you talk me into
putting on this stupid thing.

What the heck is it?

It's a motion capture suit.

They're used in animation to control the
movements of cartoon characters.

So what does it control now?

That.

Yeah, you said it works for cartoon
characters, right? So what's the

Hey, I kind of like this.

Except for all the wires inside. It's a
little itchy.

I rest my case.

I made some custom modifications.

Electrical impulses generated from
within the motion capture suit stimulate

muscles in your body, thereby enabling
you to move in the exact same fashion as

Tasha. The belt is fitted with a
miniature camera, and it relays video

information directly into Tasha's VR
goggles.

Tasha, these will enable you to see and
hear the world exactly like Val does.

Frightening.

Okay,

five more seconds of this and I'm going
to take a header out of the window.

All right, would you just try something?

Move!

That feels weird.

I feel like I'm being possessed by some

evil spirit with closed -toed shoes.

Come on, Val. Don't fight it. Just
relax.

If this doesn't make me insane, I could
take on Desmond for Val.

I don't know.

It kind of tickles.

No more than when your head gets chopped
off.

Someone broke into the building.

My men are searching the area.

Call them off.

They'll never find them.

Well, it must have been VIP, but what
did they want?

To find out why a coward like you would
accept a challenge from Valerie Irons.

How dare you?

Stating the obvious.

You don't have the guts to go up against
her.

They know it.

That's why you hired me.

Call off your men.

Stop the search.

Are you sure? Tell him to come here.

Quickly.

And come to my office.

Now.

checking the plumbing.

Once the fight is over, promise you'll
let them go?

Of course.

After Valerie Irons is defeated, VIP is
finished.

I was hired only to kill Valerie Irons.

I will not have anyone else slaughtered
in my name.

If you dishonor me, nothing can protect
you.

I hold you in the highest regard.

Trust me.

Enough with honor.

I want machine gun snipers on the roofs
over the duel.

If Harata doesn't win, I want Valerie
Irons and the shop owners shot to death.

And if Harata wins, I want him dead too.

Wait a few minutes until Harata is gone,
and then...

Let them grunt.

Val, can you hear me? Yes.

Have you heard from Click and Johnny
yet? They should have called in by now.

Tasha already said Nikki to check out
Desmond's place.

I'm powering up the suit right now.

Come on, Kay. Let's get this thing
rolling.

I'm going to jerk Val's strings like a
puppet.

All right, kick it off.

We'll hide back here and you're on your
own until just before the fight.

Okay, we've done a lot of crazy things
before, but this is the craziest.

No, no, kill me first.

Right, yeah, yeah, kill him first.

We got a dead pool at the office and I
bet 20 I'd go down first.

That's right, yeah, that's right.

Look, you kill him, then mail him his
finger.

Oh, they'd think I was still alive and
I'd lose the bet.

Yeah, he's right. He's right. Listen,
mail him his, uh, uh, his heart.

That's it. You know how to do that,
don't you?

Yeah, come on. Come over here. I'll show
you.

Real slick.

Thank you. You weren't so bad yourself,
you know.

I was talking about me.

Any ideas how we get loose?

Number six?

I don't know. These chairs are kind of
heavy.

You think you can do it?

No, but I'm sure you can, Mr. Slick.

One, two, three.

Oh, my God.

No more fat burgers for you.

Hey, come on, man. What are you doing up
there? Hey, hey, hey, listen.

I'm a little tired from the fight, you
know?

Now,

you may be light on your feet, but
you're not light on my back.

Here goes.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Not
in the bran muffins, I see.

Where's Desmond?

He has chosen me to fight in his place.

I am Hirata of the Kenzu school.

I'm Valerie Irons from Highland Senior
Secondary, the Vancouver Island Sea

Sluts.

Desmond hired a ringer. That's why he
wanted the fight.

The Rod of the Black.

I've heard about him. The fight should
be interesting.

Can you beat him? We'll see.

We've got nothing to lose.

Val?

Well...

Listen to me. Do not let Val go to the
fight.

But she's already there.

I've heard a lot about you, Valerie
Iron.

Look forward to facing someone as worthy
as you.

Hey, you've got to stop them. They've
got gunners on the roof.

Tasha, they've got machine gunners up on
the roof.

They're planning on shooting Val whether
she wins or loses.

You take them out while I fight her rod
in the black.

How do I power this suit on?

Gee, that roof is really high.

Tasha, I don't think I could take out
three machine gunners.

Maybe two if I got lucky, but three?

What was I thinking? Get me out of this
suit, hurry.

What about Val? Come on, help me get out
of this suit. Okay.

Shall we begin?

Any time, Tasha.

Tasha, if you ditch me now, that would
be really mean.

Val, you've got us all.

So?

Is something wrong?

No.

Nothing. No, nothing's wrong at all.
There's just a few local traditions that

must follow before we begin.

Of course.

I'm very sorry.

I did not realize that Los Angeles had
any fighting traditions.

Oh, well, I guess you've never been to a
Laker game.

Okay, first tradition is that we must
bow together.

Stalling bow.

Stalling.

Then we must bow again.

Then traditionally we must click our
heels together three times and say

no place like L .A. There's no place
like L .A.

There's no place like L .A. There's no
place like L .A. Okay, I'm dying here.

Tom.

Matsuji Naito, Dame Kashira.

Bow,

keep bowing. Then, grab your partner,
Dosey Doe, swing him around and don't

go. Enough!

The positions are too complicated.

Time to fight.

Now withdraw your sword.

Or I'll cut you down without it.

Master trains to have the mind of a
child.

Will you stand and fight?

I'm sorry. That was my fault. Sorry.

You truly are a great master.

Cleverly distract your opponent while he
exposes himself.

What is the name of your style?

Oh, I'm a little Toshigatana, Prada,
Versace. I don't have to wear, you know,

campaign panties. I mean your sword
fighting style.

Oh, um, Drunken Monkey.

Drunken monkey?

Yeah. No one's ever been able to adapt
that style of hand -to -hand fighting

sword. You are far more dangerous than I
can ever imagine. I must focus my mind

and kill you quickly, or else I will
surely die.

You can just give up.

Shame would be worse than death.

Bamboo pole.

Mutt -cut bamboo pole.

Update. We've got Val fighting Harata,
Tasha on the roof fighting three machine

gunners, and Nikki is at Kusari looking
for you. I tried to call her, but she

doesn't answer.

All right, I'll save Val. Quick, you
make sure Nikki doesn't get into

all right?

But what about Tasha?

Tasha, she can handle a dozen gunners.

Come on.

Like you'll be in ten seconds.

Where's Johnny?

He's fine.

We're both fine.

Psycho.

You okay?

Yeah. Just tying up loose ends.

Hey.

You're not crying because you thought we
were dead, are you?

Yeah. But don't tell anyone, all right?

Yeah, you got it.

I cannot live with the shame of being
defeated.

Please, kill me, or I'll be forced to
commit suicide.

Oh, get over yourself, Mr. Sword Guy.

I didn't defeat you. You totally psyched
yourself out.

No, it was your great skills.

Well, if you're going to kill yourself
after losing to me, then, you know,

you... You probably really hate your
work, and you should find a new

What can we do to pay you back?

I don't know.

But Fuji's miso soup and a salmon skin
roll sounds really good right now.

What an amazing warrior.

She not only tests my body, but my mind.

She, um, tests all of our minds.

Hey, you're making a mess.

This is good stuff. Mickey, I think the
sushi shop is looking at you.

Look, he's checking it out.

Want to try some of this?

Here's your family's board.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

I heard Desmond got called back to Tokyo
in disgrace.

I wonder what happened to Hirata. You
don't know?

Hirata the Black?

Oh, it's just Hirata now. I'm
apprenticing with Fujiwara to become a

chef. A sushi chef.

Yeah, it was his dad that was forcing
him into the store business.

Yeah, I always hated it, but Valerie
Irons opened my mind up to the

of living my true dreams.

Once again, Val, you cut straight
through that fatty tuna to the meaty

Valerie, you have to see this. It's now
our best -selling item.

Oh, that is so... You look a little
beanbag monkey.

I've never seen one of these before.

No.

Never. Uh -oh, Val.

Put that knife away. You're scaring me.

Tell her that somebody's got to get
hurt.

This episode of VIP featured music by
Apollo 440.

Now for another VIP biography.

Valerie Iron.

Born 1973, Vancouver, British Columbia.

Specialty, drunken monkey fighting,
bargain hunting, surprise attacks,

confusion, hair care, urban camouflage,
cosmetic.

Valerie Young, she never ceased to amaze
me.

She manages to get out of situations.

She's dancing to the beat of her own
drum.

Seems like she's a little ditzy, but she
always comes through.

Val is definitely a fish out of water,
but she always is the come through gal.

You don't know what to expect when she's
so unpredictable.

She's kind of like one of those, I got
chocolate in your peanut butter

commercial. She is a very strong,
beautiful woman.

Well, Val, she looks good.

She definitely does.

It's all about looking good. I have her
back.

And Val watches my back, too. We like to
help people.

We're good guys.