All language subtitles for vip_s01e07_deconstructing_peri

Around the back, right? Uh -huh. Use
what's inside.

I can't do that quick. It belongs to our
client.

That would be a breach of our... Oh, no.

A deck pack?

Are you crazy?

I can't do this.

Check.

Look around.

You got any better ideas?

But I don't even like to fight
commercial.

Where'd she go?

She's up there. Huh?

What?

My whole career depends on that jetpack.

Well, what are you doing with the
jetpack anyway, Joey?

So you let me borrow it for the weekend
because I promised that I would get it

back. Well, how come you left it at the
Greek theater?

I didn't have Pearl Jam tickets, all
right?

So look, how are we going to get this
thing back, huh?

I mean, by airmail or what?

You guys don't understand. I got my
lucky punch. I'm not a bodyguard. But we

are. You'll just be a figurehead. A name
on the door. You'll probably never even

leave the office.

You'll help us pull in the rich and
famous.

We'll do the rest. We're professionals.

We'll take care of all the tough stuff.

I'll never be in any danger.

Never. Never.

Never.

Just get the extras to be alive.

I don't want zombies. Give them
chocolate or something. Can you guys not

that up too much? I don't want any
flares for the camera.

Can somebody check continuity on the
spaceship? Something looks wrong to me.

Perry! Where is Perry?

Perry! I need a 10 on Perry.

Perry!

We're ready for you on the set.

What's up?

Look, Perry.

We got you the new leopard teeth in the
Fox Cruiser 2000, okay? Just like you

asked for it.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

No more stuff with little C's in it.
They get stuck in my teeth. Network,

network. Why are those people in my
eyeline?

They just live around here. Well, have
them move.

All right, listen, Perry.

Honey, baby doll, just a quick
rehearsal, and then I got a meeting with

your new bodyguard. Oh, just... PC. More
hangers -on. No, no. VIP.

They're the best. And believe me, you
need them.

All right.

If you can explain to me why they have
SUV dealerships on the planet gonad.

Planet. Planet gonads. Okay? And if you
really must know, transpo budget is in

the dumper because your boyfriend
crashed the lunar rover.

Ty was just getting me away from the
paparazzi. Okay, whatever. Look, just

this rehearsal, I need you to drive down
to the end of the street and stop.

Okay, can you handle it? Whatever!

Go again.

No.

What the hell is she doing?

Look out, look out.

Hey, these brakes won't work.

Harry Woodman is so cool.

That awesome magma laser gun.

She could teach you guys a few things
about kicking butt.

Val,

Bucks Are One is a TV show, okay?

The gun is fake and her butt kicking is
totally choreographed.

Well, she still has the coolest stuff.
No, the writers do. Okay, Perry Woodman

is a whiny, spoiled brat.

She happens to do a lot of charity work
with little sick kids.

It's Hollywood. They spin everything.

Okay, so she's spoiled.

But I'll tell you one thing. Perry
Woodman does not whine.

It looks a lot better on TV Well, follow
her!

Stay calm. Just stay calm.

Hit the wheel steady.

Here is not my problem. The accelerator.

I'm so glad you're okay. You?

You almost killed me. No, hold on. She's
Valerie Irons. That's in Valerie Irons'

protection. VIP.

What, like I'm supposed to know that?

She's under a lot of pressure.

Shouldn't have told her to buckle up.

Let go of me!

Superstar. Well, mostly it was the usual
crank letters.

Perry, you were my intern in a past
life.

Signed, Grover Cleveland.

Perry, I read how much you liked the new
family feud, and now I know that we're

soulmates. Fine, blah -biddy -blah. This
is one of my personal favorites. Perry,

let's marry, don't tarry. Love, Gary.

Barry. So these are just the run -of
-the -mill stuff from loser nut jobs,

then these started coming in.

Perry, go home.

Retire, Perry.

Make yourself an Xbox or the hounds will
tear you up.

There we go, Laurie Ann. Somebody wants
her off the show.

Like who?

Like everyone.

Well, sure, you know, on the surface,
she's obnoxious, but take her out of the

equation and the networks aren't exactly
clamoring for Star Fox 2. Just like

Wall Street, Perry Woodman creates jobs.

Well, that's where the similarity ends.

I don't think Miss Woodman is attracting
A -type men in suspenders and boring

suits living in New York and being
driven around in private cars.

I might know what this dog guy wants.

Well, I was counting on your knowledge
of human nature, and it looks like I

won't be disappointed.

Well, if you guys don't mind, set call.

Question is, was that Foxmobile screw up
a fluke or a warning?

I'll hit you to that as soon as I check
in with the studio's auto shop.

Oh, stop.

Shouldn't we see what Paris is doing?

Well, she's not going to come to us.

In two days?

No way.

Cancel it.

Don't come in.

Shana, you're my publicist, not my pimp.

I don't care how much Dave likes me.

I'm booked on Letterman again. Why don't
you guys cancel it for me? And I said

don't come in.

Well, yeah, well, we're here.

And we're your bodyguards, not your
agents.

Fine. Guard me from those wacky
inventors and four -year -old salsa

always has to run into my time.

Is this spearmint lotion?

It smells like wintergreen.

at all these famous people. You know
everybody.

Yeah, and I've got dirt on most of them.
Just wait until my memoirs come out.

Another reason why I want to go easy on
the chat shows.

I'm building up the spend.

Oh, nothing exciting ever happened to me
before I was 19.

Well, I won a limbo contest once.

Isn't that special?

Okay, so here's the deal.

We'll cancel Letterman. You agree to
keep a low profile.

Uh -huh. I pay people good money to keep
my profile the size of Mount Rushmore.

What's plan B? Plan B is you do exactly
what we say.

Or whoever took a run at you today might
succeed.

Wait, you mean someone tried to kill me?

You mean the Fox Cruiser wasn't... Was
not an accident.

Talking doesn't mean you were almost
murdered, as in whacked or rubbed out.

just means maybe you got a bad break job
or something.

Just, look, I want to be alone, okay?
Just shoo, go away. Shoo.

Go away, go away.

To escape GLONASS, you must sacrifice
the magma laser, no matter how many

dollars it's worth.

Oh, cut, cut. It's GLONASS.

GLONASS. No matter how much it's worth.
Kim, there are no dollars in the 22nd

century. Do we know that for sure?

Yeah, we're pretty sure.

Kim, darling, believe it or not, this is
all just make -believe.

Well, I don't know how you expect me to
act with this dorkus staring at me.

Why can't Perry be here?

Okay, let's just take five, everybody,
shall we?

You were doing really well.

You know, except for that monetary
conversion problem.

Perry is really pissing me off.

Sometimes I just want to kill her.

That sometimes include a little mishap
with the Fox Cruiser 2000?

Come on. I have a good thing here, okay?

Perry Woodman is my bread and butter.

There she is now.

Perry!

Hollywood.

Oh, man.

Watch out, he's hitting for Perry.

Whoa, oh.

Oh, man.

Oh, whoa, whoa.

Okay. Jill Amazonia, I took her.

Bringing my gal.

Double latte from Starbuck.

Ty!

You know this guy?

Don't you read any magazines?

It's the Senator Barton Spencer's son,
Ty.

You are correct, sir. Been dating for,
like, ten months.

Eleven, but who's counting?

I know who you are.

You're the wild woman of Wonga from
episode nine.

Oh, you did that Wonga mating call. It
was, uh... I don't think so.

Wonga, woo!

Wonga woo!

That's okay.

Ty was just leaving and won't bother me
at work anymore.

Your wish is my command, Foxy Star Fox.

Okay, who switched the gears on this
thing?

Yeah, okay.

Take it easy.

Nick's ready in the mechanics bay.

I'll flip you to see who stays here with
Teen Witch.

That's okay. Looks like you could use
some air.

Yeah. Took me a while.

Didn't even cut the brake line.

That was a coincidence.

Wrong. Our mechanic, whoever he is,
looks a little more clever than that.

A remote minibar.

Wired to the starter.

So who are we dealing with?

I don't know, but you've seen his
handiwork before.

This was taped to the inside of the
undercoating.

Harry, go back to Wisconsin or die.

Terry Woodman, born Hyperia Woodman, in
Baraboo, Wisconsin.

Did you know that if Wisconsin was its
own nation, it would be the third

dairy -producing country in the world?
Okay.

Okay.

Let's see.

She and Ty Spencer have been going out
for 11 months.

Senator Barton Spencer is said to be
raising money for a presidential bid in

Y2K.

Year 2000.

We know. Not much new here, either.

So the notes are clean?

Squeaky. But they're definitely from the
same printer.

The font's called Ransom.

So kidnappers don't have to waste time
cutting out each individual little

letter, I suppose.

Perry finally went down for a nice long
nap.

Hey, listen to this.

Perry and Ty first met at some big
producer's Halloween party in Laurel

Perry went as Princess Leia, and Ty was
Luke Skywalker.

But Luke and Leia were siblings.

So that would mean that Ty and Perry
were incestuous?

Please, save that for the tabloid. You
are supposed to be in La La Land.

Hello, my show's on tonight, which means
I'm on tonight.

Gil, he has a party for the cast every
week. I have to be there.

Oh, well, sounds like party time.

So pathetic.

Excuse me.

Hey, who's that photo hound in the
picture with Ty? He's in every single

picture. Mr. Banks.

The Spencer family chauffeur slash
bodyguard slash pain in the ass.

But a party beckons people. Let's blow
this place.

How do you do that?

Hey there.

I noticed that you're, uh, tall.

Well.

It's hard for me to find a proper fit.

And I'm wondering if the same is true
for you.

I can make it so you never stand
straight again.

I like the sound of that. Oh, too
strong, too much.

Okay. All right, all right.

Wonga, woo, woo, woo.

Oh,

don't be afraid. Hugs and applause are
totally acceptable.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, Gil.

Nice to see you.

Been tinkling in the pool again? It's
nice and warm.

What, I got a herpes?

Tie. This party is a meet, not a
nothing.

Come on, Perry, what are you talking
about?

Us good, me bad.

Ty, you're a blast, but only on a part
-time basis, okay?

Somebody take this relationship knife
out of my back.

Have you ladies heard about my spinoff?

It's me and you guys.

Just the three of us, all alone.

into a black hole.

Ditch Perry in an escape pod and crash
on a planet paved with Pringles.

Say that three times fast.

Ty, you don't need to be doing this.

Perry, he's a turtle.

Button in on my turf.

Time to go, Ty. You're causing a scene.

Hold on there, cowboy.

Tyrus is in my charge.

I work for the Spencer family.

Yeah, well, I work for the VIP family,
and you were just leaving.

Go.

Perry's fine. It's okay.

Even if it's not.

Constructing Perry at the bookshelf.

Where did you hear that title? Come on,
your memoirs. Everyone knows your

publisher leaks some advanced excerpts.

They weren't leaked. They had my
permission.

Yeah, anything juicy in there?

Yep. They're going to blow the lid off
Hollywood and DC.

Bellary Irons. Are the rumors true? Are
you really going to take Perry's place

on the show?

Hartman's upcoming tell -all, memoirs,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Do you really hate me that much?

Is this your way of getting back at me
for all the time I spend in Washington?

Were you there a lot?

Didn't even notice.

That girlfriend of yours, she's seen me
with the tobacco lobby.

She's seen me with my speech writer.

Hell, it's hard enough to become
president without some Hollywood

watching my every move.

Wipe the sweat off, Dad.

I'll take care of it.

It's a non -issue.

Do you mean that?

Of course I do.

You're my dad.

I'm not so sure the boy has what it
takes to control Perry Woodman.

He's just upset.

I mean, the girl was almost killed
yesterday.

Don't try and tell me that wasn't you.

Just looking out for your interest, sir.

It was only intended as a warning.

Well, I don't think she took it.

ladies, there are no small parts. Think
of how Marilyn Monroe got her start.

Diane, don't hurt my start.

Come here, ladies. Put her over here.

Makes you want to get lost in space.

When I come at you with a photon laser,
you knock it out of my hand, okay? Why

bother? My devil's going to do it
anyway.

Humor me, Perry.

This sucker works fine.

Honey of O2.

Here you go.

Oh, hey. We got a sec. Why don't I
adjust the straps on it? Let's put them

there. Thanks, Ken.

Yeah.

All set.

Wait a sec.

She's got the brighter one.

Shouldn't that be what Foster 1 would
have on board?

Tell you what.

I'll switch.

Is that okay?

I checked yours too. No problem.

That's all of them.

for me.

Okay, take him with us.

Valentine's Day at Perry's desk at the
penthouse.

Totally freaked.

Ken Wilson, age 42.

Prop master on Fox Star One for the last
three seasons. No police record, but

he's got several payments to a criminal
attorney on his last bank statement.

You hacked into his bank statement?

His password was Ken Wilson.

I don't think he's given much thought to
online privacy.

want to kill a cop after?

Someone who didn't want him talking.

Oh, here we go.

Four years ago, he did a stint at a
famous celebrity rehab.

And guess who else was on the guest
list?

Liz Taylor?

Ty Spencer.

Now we're getting somewhere.

Does this mean Ty Spencer is behind all
of this?

One way to find out.

Actually, folks, I got a rule I kind of
stick to. I don't try to off my

girlfriends, okay?

Even when they diss pops in public?

Pretty small clinic you and Ken Wilson
were at. You probably got to be

Look, me and some prop guy say howdy at
Betty Ford. That doesn't make us

partners in crime.

Yes, Ken Wilson was obviously a very
troubled individual. We're just relieved

that Miss Woodman wasn't hurt.

So, thank you very much, and we do
appreciate your concern.

We will be in touch.

You got some pretty sweet -looking
babies at VIP. I think I may need some

bodyguarding. Get out.

Get out of my sight.

Go stay on the boat. I just don't want
you in the house now.

You have to let me handle this
permanently.

How is my son ever going to learn to
handle things on his own?

You never had to.

You know something in art, Harry.

I borrowed a piece of Ken Wilson's work
from the crime scene.

Take a look.

There's water around the edges.

Our mystery shooter uses ice bullets.

I thought that was a myth.

One of those urban legends.

Like the one where you go to a party and
they knock you out and steal your

kidney and you wake up in the morning in
a tub of ice with a note to call 911?

No. Kate, nothing like that.

There's a professional shooter out there
whose M .O. is ice bullets.

Three hits in the last two years. The
problem is, he's been reported dead

each incident.

I really believe you guys this time.

All right, Perry, your stunt double can
do the rest. So you're off for a couple

of minutes, okay?

Get it off!

You okay?

Is someone really trying to kill me?

Well, we're not sure, but we're not
going to take our eyes off you, okay?

action!

Go, go, go, go, go. One more time.

Let her go.

Go! Cut!

Good, good.

Beautiful, beautiful. Are you okay?

You okay? Yeah.

Moving on. That was good.

Being famous is cool, but I just want to
be, like, invisible.

Hey, when's the last time you had some
fun?

Ew,

too much. Ew, too much. Ew,

too much.

Listen.

Never have I listened so closely.

here for some sort of power lunch. Wow,
that is so groovy.

You have better than chasing that Perry
Woodman around.

In your dreams.

Hey, aren't you the guy from... Putting
Perry Woodman in front of a news camera

is like bringing a hog to slough.

Listen, buddy, I don't know...

Great. The only way I get into the White
House now is on a public tour.

Not too late for damage control.

She is stubborn.

I can fix that.

Wait a second. You are not talking about
hurting Perry.

Ty! This is not your business. But, Dad,
come on. We're not the Corleones. We're

talking about my girlfriend here. No!

Talking about my future.

Dad, I love her.

Then you should have controlled her.

No, I won't let you.

Yeah, listen, why don't you run upstairs
and have Francis fix you a sandwich?

No!

Look, I'm not going to let you hurt
anyone.

No.

No priorities, the girl.

She locked herself in again.

Now we're bodyguards, not shrinks.

Perry, it's Val. Can I come in? Leave me
alone.

Yeah, it's quick.

It's Kay. I've got you. Uh -huh.

Okay, on our way.

Kay's got to leave on a phantom shooter.

You okay here?

Yep. Got it.

Where'd you learn that?

Are you okay?

Aw, you're just having a bad day.

Happens to everybody.

Wanna know what happened to me the other
day?

First Tasha goes totally ballistic on me
because I didn't leave the right

message at work.

And then Nikki almost burns all my hair
off with a flamethrower and leaves a

huge bald spot on my head. So I have to
go to Kristoff, right? I go to Kristoff

to get my hair fixed, and he is off in
Washington cutting the president's hair.

Whatever with that.

Then I go across the street to get my
car, and my Jag is gone. It's been

So I have to go to the impound lot. I go
to the impound lot, and there's this

toothless guy way back there having to
go for a ride on his boat.

Who's out there?

Sorry, Perry. I have to do this.

Oh, Ty!

You bozo!

Let me out! Give me that key back right
now!

What's happening?

We're banking that.

I'm outside the lot right now.

I'll get Ty out of harm's way and take
care of things.

Hold on, we got a problem.

What? What is it? Don't worry, I'll take
care of it. I'll call you back.

Uh, we're going really fast. I think we
just got off on a freeway or something.

Just hang tight.

Kay's pulling up street schematics.

Terry's really freaked out.

We will get to you.

If you can't see anything, focus on what
you can hear. I'm gonna kill him!

Tasha, Tasha, I'm losing you. You're
breaking up.

Tasha?

I hate that airhead. He can't be working
alone.

Where could he be taking them?

Val said they were moving fast.

There's only one road within a ten -mile
radius that moves at this time of day,

the Marina Freeway.

This has got to be about Perry's
memoirs.

He's not the only Spencer with something
to hide.

No, you think?

That's not what I meant.

The Spencers own a yacht docked at the
marina. It's called the Vito.

They even have their own onboard gourmet
chef. That's it. That's where they're

taking her. Come on. Let's go.

We're on the marina freeway. They must
be going to your boat.

I'll arrange for a little welcoming
party.

Okay. Now's the time we need to break
forth.

Sure. Through a locked door and right
into Ty, who's clearly gone mental.

No, that's not what I mean.

Okay, Harry.

Just chill, okay? I can explain
everything.

Ty! Ty, you better let go!

Oh, God, it's higher than I thought.

I'm going to kill you.

Please,

it was for your own good.

What do you mean?

You don't understand.

Okay, before you beat me to a bloody
pulp, I had no choice. Look, I have to

her from my dad.

Your dad?

Yeah, Senator Brick.

Yeah, look, he's done all Norman Bates
about your memoirs thing. Look, I have

the keys to his yacht. Let's cruise.

Reverse engine.

I can't believe Mr. Banks is trying to
kill her.

I've got a plan.

Hey, you pretty boat ride. You're that
guy from the impound.

What? Hey.

Sorry.

That's all there is. That's all there
is.

crazy as you are.

See this?

Your lipstick matches your wig.

Richard Simmons on steroids.

So you're ready for your guest on a
foster one?

Yeah, but I'm kind of nervous.

Oh, good.

Chowned.

Thanks for your help.

See? It's not so bad being nice.

Please. One more week of this and I'm
going to get... Thanks, Bieber.

The FBI has arrested Senator Barton
Spencer in connection with three

murders over a two -year period.

No way Spencer's the phantom shooter.

The story's bogus.

Not only bogus, perfect.

That Banks, he's one smooth operator.

You think Banks was the phantom?

He was the one shooting those ice
bullets.

With a guy like that, you never know
whether he's dead or still alive.