All language subtitles for two_guys_and_a_girl_s03e21_love_shack

slash den slash foyer.

Remember I promised to make this place
special for you?

Yeah. Okay, well, I had this great idea.
I'm expanding the slash foyer into a

breakfast nook. Can you have it finished
by Saturday? Because I'm having the

hospital board of trustees over.

Oh.

I'd hang the moon if you asked me to.

I'd part the seas if that were your
desire, baby. Annie, Annie, you know

hear? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah.

Saturday night, okay?

Oh, plenty of time.

Hey, the good news is now you can't see
the mess I created.

Hey, Burke, what are you doing?

I'm setting up a shell game with urine
cups.

Guess which cup the kidney stone's
under.

Oh, yeah, right. I guess you're on
inventory ever since you were put on,

know. Academic probation?

It's okay, you can't get it by saying it
out loud.

You get it by ignoring a diabetic's
chart and sending them into shock.

I didn't want to remind you. I thought
they let you treat patients when Gutman

was out sick.

Unfortunately, Dr.

Gutman got better. Damn penicillin.

Hey, hey.

No talking with the doctors, all right?

This is my reputation on the line. Zip
it, man.

Hello, Jerome.

Hi, Dr. Walker.

I'm sorry you stole a little green.

Man, the gauze goes in front of the...
Just move.

Dr. Walker, thank you for your help in
surgery this morning. Oh, it was my

pleasure. Hey, it's the first time I've
gotten a guy to open up to me.

And it nearly killed him.

You're in with Dr. Bryce? What makes you
think I'm in with Janet?

You got to talk to her for me. She can
get me off probation.

Come on, Vern. Jane's really
approachable. Just go out and tell her

happened. What you did's not so
terrible.

Okay, all right.

Oh, and don't use my name.

Uh, Dr. Bryce?

Dr. Harvey, hi. Um, listen, it looks
like you had a tough surgery. I brought

some coffee.

Well, how nice. Thank you.

I don't know if you know who I am, but,
uh... My God!

Did you put sugar in his coffee? I don't
know.

He's a diabetic. Didn't you read his
chart?

You'll have to excuse me. I have a funny
story to tell the other doctors.

Oh, we're just having a little fun, Dr.
Bergen.

Even good doctors make mistakes.

Exactly, and I'm looking for a second
chance.

Well, I heard you messed up because you
were cocky. But I've been humbled.

To be great, you've got to be cocky.
Well, I'm better than you.

I'll supervise you for a couple of
weeks, and if you're cocky and don't

anybody, we'll see about getting you off
probation. Sound good?

Okay, all right. But when I'm off
probation, look out for your job.

Okay, there's cocky, and then there's on
my nerves.

Oh, hey, Pete, any desk of your favor?
Not now, Sharon. I'm late to work. In

cosmetics business, if you miss a day,
it's hard to make up.

Okay, that's a big laugh at the office.

You just need to borrow your apartment
Saturday night to host a tea party.

All right, but our easy -bake oven's on
the fritz.

No, it's for the people from the
hospital, and if I can impress them,

give me the fundraising coordinator
position.

Why can't you use your place? What, you
still don't have any power? Johnny won't

pay for an electrician. Besides, you
know what? It's too small. I can't walk

around all night going, okay, it's your
turn to sit in the chair.

Okay, fine. You know what? I'm going to
be volunteering at the fire station

Saturday night anyway. But you better
clear it with Bird. All right. Hey, hand

me my makeup bag.

Where? Right there.

No, this is your fireman's bag.

Hmm.

Where's my makeup bag?

Come on, Scorch, time for your walk.

Mr.

Jenkins, how's Mr. Rigby's liver
responding to that press?

treatment. Oh, he's doing great. But
then he had the best doctor in the

hospital. Well, easy to look at and easy
to listen to.

Dr. Bergen, how are we doing?

Great.

Now I'm working with the best doctor in
the hospital.

Gag.

Look, Dr. Bergen, you don't have to kiss
up. I'm impressed enough with your

work. Really?

Absolutely. Your instincts are sharp.
Your skills are well in advance of your

peers. In fact, you may just be ready to
be taken off probation.

Thank you. Yeah, I just, I really want
to put all this ugliness behind me.

Oh, sorry.

I'm a little tired. Why don't you go lie
down?

Oh, I can never get any sleep around
here.

I keep having these recurring nightmares
that germ is pushing me into the OR.

Yeah.

If I'm lucky, I lift up clothes, you
know, I can just go home between shifts.

I heard you live nearby.

Boy, that must be nice.

It really is.

You can just go home and take a nap
anytime you want.

Yeah, guess I'm pretty lucky.

Really are.

Mm -hmm.

Of course, if I were to leave the
hospital, it'll take a nap nearby.

Someone would have to look after my
patients unsupervised. It could really

out a person if they were on probation.

Here's my key.

Hey, fellas. Dumb Bill.

You're early.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I know, what, a guy can't stop by and
hang out with his buddy? You know, hang

out with his pals and swap fireman
stories?

All right, I'll be back in an hour. Hang
on there, Dumb Bill.

There's something a little awkward I've
been wanting to ask you.

Uh -huh?

Could you wax the truck?

Captain finally found that polish.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy to do
it. I just, I gotta take care of

something first. Hey, take your time.
Okay. We know how long it takes a guy to

put on his face.

on my bag. Ha -ha. But look, you don't
understand.

You know, all this time, we thought you
were a natural beauty.

Guys, it's not like I wear the stuff. I
sell it, which I'm sure is pretty much

the same thing to you.

Hey, we all have our embarrassing
secrets, all right?

You know, before I was a fireman, I was
a Marine.

And please don't tell my kids.

I think we need to have a chat about
that bag of yours. Yeah, Captain, look,

know what you must think, but I can
explain.

Can the tuna, son.

Gee, my daughter Annette is in my
office.

She's an angel.

But unfortunately, we lost her mother
before she could teach her certain

that only a mother can teach a daughter.

Oh.

Oh, yeah. You know what? I don't know
much about that, but I suppose I could

have my mother call her.

I'm talking about her wearing too much
makeup.

It's like the cosmetic counter just blew
up in her face.

Oh.

Oh, well, you know, I've never given a
makeover.

I'm a vice president.

Honestly, I don't do much of anything.

You're all I have, son.

Please.

All right. Well, I guess it wouldn't
hurt to take a peek.

Wow.

Look at all the colors.

All right.

Annette, this is going to be fun. Okay?
First thing we'll do is we'll take off

the old makeup.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh. Okay.

Okay, all right.

And now we'll, uh, take off the older
makeup.

All

right,

shh, shh, don't move, don't move.

No, no, no, no, no, this is all wrong.

My God.

I'm a genius.

Captain, there's someone I'd like you to
meet.

Baby? Hi, Daddy!

You look like your mother.

Dr. Price.

Bergen, aren't you supposed to be at the
hospital?

Well, I, you know, finished up with all
the patients and the paperwork.

How was your nap?

In my bed.

I hope you don't mind, but this couch is
a little uncomfortable.

Oh, well.

Hey.

Dr.

Price, what exactly is going on here?

Uh, without the details.

Well, I was napping.

And, uh, Nurse Jenkins came over.

And he had some papers for me to sign.

And he couldn't find a pen.

Who told you to come home early?

Well, you know, I would have called
first, but I didn't want to interrupt

the throes of your nap.

You want more fruit punch?

Well, it's, uh, you know, not your
place.

Dr. Price, I'm really not comfortable
with this.

Uh -huh. Uh, by the way, how was your
day today?

Well, it was good, but Dr. Price... It
must have been nice working with

instead of counting tongue depressors.

Well, of course. Sure would be
unfortunate to go back to that when

close to getting off probation.

What kind of place doesn't have fruit
punch?

Be right back. And hey, Pete's room has
a strobe light.

Oh, there you are. I heard Dr. Bryce
arranged for you to scrub in on a bypass

surgery. Yep, got to assist.

Sure.

Scurry on down to the OR and drop off
some gauze.

How quickly they forget.

I didn't think you'd be able to get into
Dr. Bryce's good graces so quickly.

You have to really shown her what you're
made of.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

Ferg, I rarely say this, but I am proud
of you.

Well, thank you, Ash. Thank you.

Ash, there might be one other teensy
-weensy reason I'm doing so well.

Um, I'm letting Dr.

Bryce have sex with Nurse Jenkins in
Pete's bed.

What?

Yeah, it's... I thought it was wrong. I
just wanted a second opinion.

How could you?

She's my boss.

I mean, I didn't know what to do. You
could tell her no.

Look, I'm this close to getting off
probation, okay? I can't afford for her

be mad at me.

I can't believe you're letting yourself
get pushed around like this. Stand up

for yourself. Be a man. I'm no good at
that.

You're right.

Go behind her back and rat her out to
Dr. Harvey.

Thanks for knowing me, Ash.

Hi, Pete. Hey, Annette. Come on in. Come
on in.

Wow, you look great.

All thanks to you.

Oh, come on.

Nonsense. You're a beautiful flower.

I'm just the water in the manure.

Well, I, um, I need some of your help.

My friends and I are going to a dance
tonight, and I was wondering if you

work your magic.

Yeah, you know what, Annette, I'd love
to, but I gotta get to the firehouse.

But they went to a department store
makeup counter.

Butchers.

Come.

Give yourself to Pete.

Uh, uh, uh, what are you doing here?

The work of ten men.

My tea party?

You told me to clear it with Berg, and I
did. Yeah, I know. I just assumed

nobody'd come to that.

Well, they are coming, and I need to
show them how well I can throw a

fundraiser. Somehow, I don't think
they're going to be impressed with the

clown posse.

All right, I'll keep them in the
bedroom, okay?

All right, come on. You know what? We'll
show your friends in the bathroom that

trick I showed you with the soap.

And that's why I came to you, Dr.
Harvey, because I have to stand up for

right, regardless of the consequences.

There aren't going to be consequences,
are there?

Let me get this straight.

She's using your apartment for
rendezvous, and you can't stop her

your superior.

Exactly. Well, don't you worry, Dr.
Bergen, because you can bet I'm going to

check into this.

Thank you.

Thank you, Dr. Harvey. Look, I hope you
realize how difficult this was for me,

and I'm no whistleblower. I understand.

And by the way, Nurse Jenkins ate all my
fiddle faddle.

And as your superior, I was shocked to
hear about this.

I'm sorry.

Very selfish of you, Janet. Didn't I let
you use that intern's boat?

I'll make you a key. That's all I wanted
to hear.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, hi. Are you from the hospital?

Yes, we are.

Oh, hello. I'm Sharon Carter.

Come on in. The party's just getting
started.

Well, I'm sorry, but isn't this Dr.

Bergen's apartment?

Yeah, you're the first one here.

Well, I just spoke to him, and I was
under the impression that he didn't want

anyone to use his apartment.

Oh, you know, he said no at first, but
then I said, hey, this is going to make

lot of people very happy.

Uh, who are they?

Oh, girls, girls, girls, come on. You
know the rules. Back in the bedroom.

Hopefully by the end of the evening,
you'll see. I throw the kind of parties

that'll make people want to reach for
their wallet.

Oh, wow.

All right, let's get silly.

You're an electrician.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I don't think an
electrician will work on this for four

days.

I have never met anybody like you.

Why would you want to make a living
doing something like this?

Oh, you know, I used to be a corporate
executive, but at the end of the day, I

just sound so dirty.

Ladies, come on out into the light.

What are you doing out here?

Sharon, I'm doing makeup.

I need light. Would you ask Degas to
paint in the dark?

Okay, you're not Degas, and I ain't
ballerina.

He's not Sharon, all right? I know
they're not glamorous, but I can't send

out on the street looking like this.

Please, just go back in the bedroom.

Fine. Let their fakers be on your head.

Hey, how'd it go?

Oh, you were right. You were right.
Everything worked out.

Looking ahead, all I see is a promising
future.

Dr. Harvey, what are you doing here?

What is all this?

I saw Bergen at the hospital, so I
figured it was safe to come.

And throw a party? The only reason he's
there is because I made him stand watch

over a perfectly healthy hypochondriac.

This can't be the right address.

If it is, Mrs. Cartwright, I've double
-checked it.

Doesn't look like any tea party I've
ever seen.

Sharon!

Sharon, can I borrow your mascara? I'm
all out.

Excuse me, would you help me?

Oh, come on. How am I supposed to work
with this?

Come with me.

Dr. Harvey?

Bergen, great party.

You're not supposed to be here. You're
supposed to be keeping her out of here.

What are you doing here anyway?

You have a patient to look after.

He was perfectly healthy. He thought he
was having problems with his survey.

You know, Bergen, with so many people
using your apartment, we're going to

to make a schedule.

Yeah, my mother's a bingo. We could have
gone there.

Yeah, then you could have had the
trailer all to yourself.

Get out.

What? You heard me. I want you and all
your scuzzy friends out of here. Oh,

I'm...

I'm saying you could look 60 again.

Are you Sharon Carter?

Yes. I'm Mrs. Cartwright, head of the
board.

Oh, my God, Mrs. Cartwright, I am sorry
for whatever happened back there, but I

really want this fundraising job at the
hospital.

Excuse me, I don't mean to butt in, but
I don't think the hospital should hire a

hooker.

What did you just call me? No, I'm
sorry.

I meant... Madam.

Whatever she is, she's not getting the
job.

Why do the board members think I'm a
hooker?

He's not a board member. He's just a
doctor using my place to have a cheap

fling.

Shame on you!

Great. Thanks, Berg.

You and your whores have ruined
everything!

Well, she was bringing us down. Last
party.

No, no. I want you out of here. This is
my home. I want you to go.

No, you don't. Yes, I do, okay? You took
advantage of me, and I don't appreciate

it. Now get out!

You sure, Dr. Bergen? You want to get on
our bad side?

How dare you people threaten me? You
know, I trusted you.

Dr. Bryce, you betrayed me when I lent
you my apartment. And Dr. Harvey, you

betrayed me when I betrayed Dr.

Bryce.

Now, the bottom line is, I'm a good
doctor.

And when I show up to work tomorrow, I
expect to find myself off academic

probation. You want to know why?

Because you are professionals. We are
all professionals.

They are not professionals.

I'm the professional.

They should learn from me. All right,
all right. Focus, Berg, all right? They

should be flush against... Flush against
me? Just move.

Let me break you off a little piece of
the grape.

Sure.

Oh, hey, man.

I thought you'd be home way later than
this.

I gave you the whole stock room to do.

Okay, out.

Let's go. Hurry up right now. Go.

And just when I was ready to move you up
to pushing wheelchairs.

Sorry I yelled.