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1
00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:17,800
I twisted my knee. Oh, nothing.
2
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,300
If it weren't for him, Chairman Meow
would still be stuck in the rain gutter.
3
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I'm a super. I'll just burn the job,
man.
4
00:00:24,780 --> 00:00:27,140
Irene, get that thing away from me. I
told you, I'm allergic.
5
00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:28,740
See, look, a hive.
6
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I got a hair in my throat.
7
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:38,820
Well, Chairman Meow's had a hard day.
8
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I'm going to put a little Kahlua in his
milk.
9
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And a little nip for Mommy.
10
00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:50,370
Okay, okay, let's just get you
comfortable.
11
00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:51,590
Thank you.
12
00:00:54,050 --> 00:01:00,270
Are you all right? Yes, it just ain't
this red thing.
13
00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:02,450
What are you? You're not even a couch.
14
00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:07,690
Hey, what's this?
15
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Hey,
16
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this is Berg and Pete.
17
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Huh?
18
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What is... Oh, my God!
19
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,060
That's Irene's apartment!
20
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,260
The old super had this whole building
under surveillance.
21
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What's that doing? Ah!
22
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,020
Ah!
23
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,320
Oh, my God!
24
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:51,600
He had a monitor in his own apartment?
25
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,100
That is just vain!
26
00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:56,660
Should I get more bangs?
27
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,800
Look, there's Ashley.
28
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,960
Oh, she's crying.
29
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,540
Hey, there's Berg making a phone call.
30
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,360
Look, he called Ashley.
31
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And hung up.
32
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,380
Oh, Ashley, you started 69ing.
33
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each other, and they're just too proud
to make the first move.
34
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Oh, no, honey, you know what? I don't
think you should interfere.
35
00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:41,300
If God did not want me to interfere,
then why did he send me these monitors
36
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:42,300
knock you off a roof?
37
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:49,620
Hey, Berg.
38
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I'm Substitute Super.
39
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:52,460
All the work?
40
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,540
None the butt crack.
41
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,500
Came to fix your sink.
42
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:56,680
It's not broken.
43
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:58,640
Berg, wait.
44
00:02:58,740 --> 00:02:59,740
Who's wearing the hammer?
45
00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:06,550
You're the super. But you know who's
really super? Ashley.
46
00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:12,650
Yeah, you see, you do have a leak.
47
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:18,450
What is with me lately? I keep
misplacing stuff.
48
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:21,350
My sunglasses, my Patriots hat.
49
00:03:23,430 --> 00:03:24,870
Have you seen my puka shells?
50
00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:26,410
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
51
00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:27,790
Hey, ease up.
52
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:29,450
Can't you see the man's lonely?
53
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:32,990
Why don't you go up and talk to Ashley?
Ashley, she's upstairs feeling lonely,
54
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:34,370
too. Really?
55
00:03:34,610 --> 00:03:35,930
Bert, forget Ashley.
56
00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:39,630
Listen, there's this girl at work I can
set you up with. She's a body model.
57
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They use parts of her body in movies.
58
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Is she pretty?
59
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I don't know.
60
00:03:46,370 --> 00:03:47,370
Good enough for me.
61
00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:52,490
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.
Obviously there's something wrong with
62
00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:53,530
mean, why don't you ask her out?
63
00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:58,010
Oh, yeah, and make everyone sit through
another sexual harassment lecture?
64
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,320
Get me your number.
65
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:07,620
Hello?
66
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,140
Yeah.
67
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,620
Yeah, okay, I'll tell her. All right.
68
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,980
Johnny said you're going to need
caulking.
69
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,940
Oh, oh, oh. Okay, thank you.
70
00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:19,640
That's what I'll tell him when I see
him.
71
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:25,820
Hey, pretty cat.
72
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,000
I'm allergic.
73
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:29,280
Allergic to courage.
74
00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:35,040
That's funny. You want to hear something
funnier?
75
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,380
I set Berg up on a date.
76
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,060
Well, I guess those who can't, fed up.
77
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,100
Actually, look, when you smirk like
that, you can see the little web of
78
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,100
around your eyes.
79
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,040
was you. You know how? Every time you
knock on the door, the cats run to the
80
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,040
other side of the apartment.
81
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,500
Well, aren't they smarter than their
owner?
82
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:16,980
He made me promise not to tell, but Pete
is secretly in love with you.
83
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,400
Well, then why does he always avoid me?
84
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,860
Partly because he's shy, but mostly
because he's stupid.
85
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:24,940
I knew it.
86
00:05:25,260 --> 00:05:28,480
Well, I'll get that little almond out of
his shell.
87
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:35,220
Hey, Sharon. What are you doing?
88
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,340
Oh, spreading love and cocking.
89
00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:43,420
Sit down.
90
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,340
Oh, yeah. Well, Pete just told me that
he set Berg up on a date.
91
00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:49,620
I guess it upset me more than I thought
it would.
92
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,960
Well, he doesn't want to go out with
her. He misses you. That's why he keeps
93
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:53,960
calling and hanging up.
94
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:55,360
He told you that?
95
00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:58,940
Yeah, and that's not all he told me.
He's only going out on that date to make
96
00:05:58,940 --> 00:05:59,719
you jealous.
97
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,420
God, what a jerk. Yeah, and you've got
to be a bigger jerk.
98
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:03,660
Oh, I don't know.
99
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,020
Come on, I know you can.
100
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:10,480
Yeah, just beat him to the punch. Find a
date of your own.
101
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:17,420
Hey. Hey. What happened? I couldn't see
Ashley's reaction. It kept blocking my
102
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:19,920
shot. The camera loves you. Stop it.
103
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,440
Okay, I told Ashley about Berg's date
with the body parts model and said that
104
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,280
she should just grab any guy she can get
her hands on.
105
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,200
I thought you wanted them to get
together.
106
00:06:28,830 --> 00:06:29,830
Baby, baby, baby.
107
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Nothing ignites true love more than
jealousy and insecurity.
108
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:36,850
Nice work, Cupid.
109
00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:41,410
Ooh, look. Irene took a hit of whipped
cream. She's on the move.
110
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:06,990
Irene's breaking into Pete and Berg's.
111
00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:09,710
Hey, we got to do something.
112
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Yeah, I'll make popcorn.
113
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Oh, my God.
114
00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:19,150
So she's the one that's taking Pete's
stuff.
115
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Pete's coming back.
116
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She just bites an apple and leaves it on
the counter.
117
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:02,720
No.
118
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,580
Irene, what is she doing?
119
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Witchcraft.
120
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,520
Wicked witchcraft.
121
00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:27,600
See, there's something in that chair. I
can't quite make it out.
122
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,180
We're not turning off these monitors.
123
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:54,540
You know, honey, you can take the tool
belt off now.
124
00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:56,400
Yeah, I don't know. I kind of like it.
125
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,340
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
126
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,800
Berg and the body double are getting
comfortable on the couch.
127
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,400
And, of course, now I have to go to the
bathroom.
128
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,960
Hollywood is all about looks.
129
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:14,340
People think of you as just a body.
130
00:09:16,540 --> 00:09:17,760
You're a body double.
131
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:24,660
I am an actress who happens to act
without her face or words.
132
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:30,020
So without me, a certain star would have
had to show her own armpit in G .I.
133
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,040
Jane.
134
00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:33,570
Do you know who I'm talking about?
135
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:40,230
No, I didn't notice any of the actors. I
was so mesmerized by that armpit.
136
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,490
I like you.
137
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,750
All right.
138
00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:50,910
First getting back in the saddle.
139
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,630
I mean, what a whore.
140
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,100
It says, Irene's been taking my stuff.
141
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,360
Why is your couch facing the wall?
142
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,160
Oh, Johnny was entertaining me with his
shadow puppets.
143
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,100
That's a buggy.
144
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,240
So Irene's taken your stuff. Who would
have guessed, huh?
145
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:37,760
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to go over
there and ask for it back, but... Ask
146
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:38,760
for it back, but...
147
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,519
practical joke.
148
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:42,520
That's no joke.
149
00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:46,920
And if it is, I don't get it.
150
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:53,400
Hey, hey, you didn't get it from me, but
this is Irene's key and she's not home,
151
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,960
so why don't you just go back in there
and get your stuff? No, I can't go over
152
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,220
there. I'm allergic to cats.
153
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,860
Okay, okay, then you're just gonna have
to hold your breath.
154
00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:03,760
Uh, you know, uh, Mr. Russell on the
third floor, he has some scuba
155
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,520
Yeah, and he's not using it right now.
He's just sitting around eating chicken.
156
00:11:14,699 --> 00:11:21,620
chicken. You know what separates
157
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:24,200
me from five other top surgeons in
Boston?
158
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,040
They're interesting?
159
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,600
Nope. I shuffle.
160
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:35,920
If you're going to be a surgeon, it's
important to maintain your dexterity.
161
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,060
is why I dabble in magic.
162
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,440
Pick a card.
163
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,339
Try again.
164
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,360
Okay, Houdini. Time to disappear.
165
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,000
No, she's kicking him out already?
166
00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:55,020
Yeah, well, novelty acts get no respect.
167
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,400
Yeah, but God's scoring.
168
00:11:58,340 --> 00:11:59,340
I'm gonna go metal.
169
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:00,700
Okay, honey.
170
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,240
Good luck.
171
00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:10,080
Nice of you to walk me down.
172
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,820
Well, I just wanted to make sure that
you are safely out of the building.
173
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,320
Well, hello, Bergen.
174
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,860
Well, if it isn't the master of
illusion.
175
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,540
Uh, Berg?
176
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:26,860
Hmm.
177
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,560
Yes. Well, I was just showing Dr.
178
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:34,900
Dwell... Vonneveld. It's just like
Vonneveld, but with a Z.
179
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,680
Well, I was just showing him to my
apartment for a nightcap.
180
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,540
Come on, Howie. Let's go make some
magic.
181
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,400
All right, but I usually work alone.
182
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,040
No one.
183
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,060
She had perky breasts.
184
00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:02,160
Listen, Tina, I'm not feeling too well,
okay? So maybe we should call it a
185
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,400
night. Oh.
186
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:06,340
I think I know what's going on here.
187
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:08,940
Look, it's not... No.
188
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,740
You don't have to lie to me. I am an
actress.
189
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,800
I observe people for a living.
190
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:18,200
My celebrity intimidates you, doesn't
it?
191
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:24,550
Wow. Then you must... also be able to
sense my overwhelming respect for you.
192
00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:30,930
Well, that was quite a change of heart.
193
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:33,670
Wait till you see this one. Keep your
coat on.
194
00:13:35,010 --> 00:13:41,810
Okay. Let's say that this were a magic
show and you needed to
195
00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:45,650
vanish, but you couldn't use the front
door.
196
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:47,410
What would you do?
197
00:13:49,970 --> 00:13:51,030
Use the fire escape.
198
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,740
That reminds me, I meant to fix that
fire escape.
199
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,160
Hey, Pete.
200
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:42,740
Bergen!
201
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:44,380
Bergen!
202
00:14:46,060 --> 00:14:47,060
Bergen!
203
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,200
Bergen!
204
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,060
Did you just appear that you're getting
good?
205
00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:35,030
The sink is still leaking. Honey, I told
you to caulk. Yes, but you didn't tell
206
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,030
me what caulk was.
207
00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:40,010
Run up there and put a bucket under
their sink or something before it floods
208
00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:41,010
whole apartment.
209
00:15:41,790 --> 00:15:43,490
No, no, no.
210
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,650
Who is it?
211
00:15:48,070 --> 00:15:49,070
Bird.
212
00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:50,750
I have company.
213
00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:55,110
Yeah, and he just jumped into my arms
off the fire escape.
214
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,460
What happened to your date? Did her
elbow get an audition?
215
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,680
Sharon told me that you were miserable.
216
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,460
Well, Sharon told me that you only went
out with that body model to make me
217
00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:22,460
jealous.
218
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:27,900
She seems to be a little bit too
involved to know a whole lot more than
219
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:28,900
supposed to.
220
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,200
No
221
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:29,310
Ashley, get him some water.
222
00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:35,010
Oh, my God!
223
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:39,410
Wow. A Pete dummy. How redundant.
224
00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:45,670
Pete, are you all right?
225
00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:48,270
Wow, for a minute there, I thought it
was a goner.
226
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:50,150
Well, you're safe now.
227
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:16,890
He's in the bathtub watching all the cat
fur off a woman playing deep sea diver.
228
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:20,910
Hey, I'm sorry I messed things up for
you with your date.
229
00:19:21,570 --> 00:19:22,570
That's okay.
230
00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:26,810
I wasn't going anywhere. I just wanted
to be with someone.
231
00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:29,370
So you did miss me?
232
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:31,870
Not really.
233
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,190
Listen, I know what you're going
through.
234
00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:40,480
It's like when you have this... big ugly
couch in the middle of your living room
235
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,380
and and you just can't wait to get rid
of it but then when you finally throw it
236
00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:50,340
out you got the empty space where that
stupid insensitive self -absorbed couch
237
00:19:50,340 --> 00:19:56,240
used to be i don't really understand
decorating i
238
00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:03,120
know it's not going to be easy for
either one of us but ultimately it's
239
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:07,040
better to be alone than to be with
somebody who's not right for you i agree
240
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:13,560
I agree. You know, Ash, you're going to
get along just fine without a couch.
241
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,320
Thank you, Bert.
242
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,360
Yeah, what you need is something to walk
all over, like a rug.
243
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,680
That's typical couch talk.
244
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:37,460
Looks like they're not getting back
together.
245
00:20:38,260 --> 00:20:39,260
Well, I tried.
246
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,280
So what was in that chair in Irene's
apartment?
247
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,320
Oh, it was the voodoo shrine at Pete.
248
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,620
Some people's lives are so empty and
sad.
249
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,520
Yeah. They don't have what we have.
250
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:55,180
Monitors.
251
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,180
Let's go watch the breach.
252
00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:10,230
Wake up.
253
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:12,770
Hey, what'd I miss?
254
00:21:14,810 --> 00:21:15,810
Nobody's home.
255
00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:17,330
Where'd everybody go?
256
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:19,810
Hey,
257
00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:23,810
kids.
258
00:21:28,430 --> 00:21:30,130
Is there something you want to talk to
us about?
19355
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