All language subtitles for two_guys_and_a_girl_s02e07_a_girl_and_an_internship

Sharon Carter's office. This is
Moneypenny.

One moment. I'll get you in.

Ed Walsh, Greenpeace.

Sounds angry.

Tell him I'm out having a seal sandwich.

Ed, she'll have to call you back.

Thank you, Moneypenny.

Burke, you have got to be kidding me. I
have never been more serious in my whole

life, Ashley.

What are we talking about?

I just saw the schedule at the hospital.
Why did you switch to the night shift?

Because you're on the night shift,
buttercup.

And I switched into the night shift to
get away from you in the day shift.

You've got to stop following me around.

Me? What about you?

Antonio, Tommaso, Pizza Shack, Gallucci.
What are you talking about?

There's 40 pizza joints near your house.

And yet...

Every day, you take three buses to come
here and tell me how much you don't want

to see me.

First of all, it's one bus, Bert, okay?

And second of all, I would gladly follow
you to the ends of the earth to tell

you just how much I don't want to see
you.

Am I being persistent or stupid?

You're being persistently stupid.

interview good you scoring at home i'm
now 0 for 5 the architects can

be so uptight really what'd you do this
time pete this time it was not my fault

i mean how was i supposed to know that i
was sticking my gum underneath a louis

the 14th chair what is going on with you
that you keep blowing these interviews?

I don't know. I guess I just want them
so badly that once I get into these

offices, I just turn into this bumbling
fool.

Or maybe you don't want it at all.

What? Maybe you just don't want to be an
architect.

Yeah, right. Let's face it, Pete. You're
not being yourself.

I mean, last week, you took a divot out
of an 18th century oriental rug.

I didn't care about that one. I wanted
to see my chip shot.

Meanwhile, I hit that chunk of rug
straight as an arrow.

Rick hates first impression.

Why do first impressions have to be so
important?

I mean, I make a great fourth
impression.

This interview thing's sort of putting a
mild snag in Pete's career.

You keep telling me that Ashley's dad is
some big architect.

Can't you get him to give Pete a job?

I've tried, but there's just one
problem.

She doesn't really like talking to me.

For Pete, I'll play my trump card.

What?

I need you to get your dad to give Pete
a job.

I told you, my dad's firm is really
selective.

I won't switch back to the day shit.
Done.

I really appreciate you putting our
romance on hold for the sake of my

If Pete screws this up, I'm holding you
responsible.

Do you think that I would do anything to
upset my future father -in -law?

Pete, I got you a job.

Mr.

Walker, it is an honor to meet you. My
little Ashley had an awful lot of good

things to say about you.

Glad to have you aboard. Thank you for
the opportunity.

I really, really appreciate it. Wow,
that's quite a structure.

A new casino we're building in Atlantic
City.

Has a biblical fame.

Yes, I see how the Red Sea swimming pool
actually parts to accommodate the

people mover.

Three long years of hard work.

Thousands of man hours.

Hand me that cup of coffee, would you,
Pete?

It's amazing.

Isn't it?

Huh.

What are you thinking?

Just that if you move the Garden of Eden
Kino Lounge to the other side of the

Noah's Ark buffet, you might, uh...
You'd probably get a lot more foot

to the, uh... Who's that? The Slots of
Jericho.

That's just a thought.

It's a darn good thought.

I'll tell you what.

I want you to make a copy of our project
list.

so you can familiarize yourself with
what we're doing around here. Oh, yes,

Yes, sir. You might want to take a look
at my crystal replica of the Eiffel

Tower. It's priceless.

Whoa.

I'm very lucky. I'm just going to go.
Cut. Very lucky.

Bad machine.

Hey, you must be the new guy.

You're not going to beat me up and steal
my lunch money, are you?

of humor. How'd you ever get past the
interview?

Listen, I'm Pete. Uh, Brittany.

Hi, Brittany.

So, you having a hard time here? Oh,
stamping is driving me crazy. Well, let

help you out. You have to press right
here and jiggle here and

then it should just pop right in.

Well, I guess it should press and
jiggle.

There you go.

Thank you, Britton. Well, we should
really make sure that it works. Okay,

What do you

think?

Well, I don't know Victoria's secret,
but I know yours.

Lock the door, Pete.

What, are you crazy? Right here?

Why not?

Well, because I think it's a really bad
career move. That's why not.

Let me just say one thing.

What?

That was a career.

Hey, Bert.

I just got off the phone with my father.

Whatever Pete did, I no longer consider
him a friend.

He said that everybody at the office
loves Pete.

Because I consider him a brother,
Ashley.

Well, I'm glad it worked out, because
Pete's a great guy.

So, uh, how was your first ship without
me?

Oh, God, Berg, it was horrible.

Really? People were actually being
professional.

Work was being done.

No one even had the decency to follow me
around with a jar of eyeballs, singing,

I only have eyes for you.

I think you kind of missed me.

A little.

Hey. Hey.

Look, you had a good first day.

He's been smiling like this ever since I
picked him up.

You would not believe my first day.
Yeah, I heard they love you at the

Really? Yeah.

Heard you scored big time.

Just when you thought you were in a
slump, you...

Who were you talking to?

Well, Ashley, her dad called her and
told her everything.

Her dad called and told her that I
nailed some girl in the copy room?

What? Oh,

never mind.

All right, well, look, what do you want
from me? One minute I'm loading the

paper tray, and the next minute I'm
copying her panties.

Look, I was the new guy. I was trying to
make friends.

Are you out of your mind?

Are you out of your mind?

Listen, I went out on a limb for you
with Ashley, Pete.

You know what? You're in a major self
-destruct. Oh, Sharon, would you get off

this already? Come on, you're just
begging to get fired. How? How am I

to get fired? I'll tell you how.

Jack and Jill start messing around at
the office.

It's Jill's word against Jack.

Jack gets fired.

Jill gets his office, his desk, and his
salary.

And I've felt horrible about it ever
since.

All right, Sharon, look, I'm not Jack.

Listen, Jack.

You are using your sex life to
jeopardize mine, and I will not have it.

This has nothing to do with you and
Ashley.

You're just jealous because this is the
best first day of work story ever, and

you just wish it happened to you.

He's got me there.

May I say, you have a phenomenal feel
for this equipment.

Well, we should try the one upstairs.

It's got a super collator.

So, same time tomorrow?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, what's going on, Pete?

Oh, I was just throwing on a fresh
bottle, Mr. Walker. Brittany, you can

lot from this guy.

He's a real...

I was just thinking about you. Isn't it
fun?

Well, the way I see it, you can tell a
lot about a person by the company he

keeps. And if a stable guy like Pete is
your best friend, then maybe you're not

the Neanderthal I thought.

Oogaboola.

I'll see you later.

You will? Yeah.

I'm switching back to the night shift.
Pete, keep up the good work.

She thinks I'm stable.

All right, Burke, we got to talk.

Look, you know the copy girl from work?

Don't tell me you got caught, because
Ashley's going to kill me. No, no, no,

no, no, no. It's nothing like that.
Good. It's worse.

She's the boss's daughter.

What?

That's impossible.

Ashley's the boss's daughter.

Yes, that's true.

Whoa.

You mean Ashley lied about her dad
owning the company?

No.

And you're not sleeping with Ashley.

No.

You're sleeping with Ashley's sister.

Yes!

I mean, if her dad finds out, I'm going
to be blackballed. And if I want to be

an architect, I'm going to have to move
to Istanbul.

Okay, let me think. Let me think.

You got the easy thing. Stop having

sex with her.

You sure you don't want to think about
this a few more minutes?

You're right, you're right, you're
right. If you stop sleeping with her,

could get upset and tell her dad.

Right, right, right. So I'm going to
keep on having sex with her. I knew I

count on you, buddy.

Hold it, copy boy.

If Ashley finds out you're taking
advantage of her sister, that can't make

look good.

Why is this all about you all of a
sudden?

It's about you, okay? Look, you're going
to break up with her and remain

friends.

How the hell do you do that? I don't
know.

You know what we need? What?

We need the advice of someone who's been
dumped a lot.

Hello!

Well,

how do you know she'll be here?

We, uh, warm up the copier here every
day at 317.

Ew.

Except for the fact that it's going to
ruin us both.

Way to go.

I need some background information. What
do you know about her? Okay, um, her

name is Brittany, and I believe she's on
the welcoming committee.

Anything more?

Anything personal aside from the fact
that she likes to ride copiers?

No.

Once again, Pete, very proud.

Okay, okay, purely physical. I think you
might be off the hook.

This reminds me... to me on my
relationship with tyler yeah just go in

it was fun thanks a lot but it's over
all right i'll be right

is

that a new outfit yeah got it on sale i
like it thanks

how'd it go before i could say anything
she gave me this

sharon

Beyond the physical, she likes you. This
reminds me of my relationship with Tom.

Tell her we can't be together because
I'll lose myself in you.

Okay, all right, lose myself. All right,
all right, I'll be right back.

Say, you know they're going to shut our
water off between 8 and 5 tomorrow?

I don't know. I didn't know that.

They sent us a notice.

Thanks. I'll fill up my tub tonight.

I told her that I was afraid I'd lose
myself in her, and she got mad. She

to know what the hell that means.

Well, what the hell does that mean?

I can't believe I let Tom get away with
that. She's waiting for an answer.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Jason! The guy from Hawaii, yes. Go in,
tell her you like her too much, and

you're just not in that place in your
life.

I will be right back.

Whatever happened to Jason, anyway?

Oh, that was the only time I got dumped
where it wasn't terrible.

We stayed friends.

In fact, he was so sweet about it that
we just kept on having sex for, like...

Hey, buddy, you can't go in there.

Nonsense. I can go anywhere I want. I
own this building.

You're Mr.

Walker.

This is Mr. Walker.

Pete! Brittany!

Daddy? Sir?

He didn't lock the door.

Oh, my God, Daddy.

Is he okay?

Well, he passed out, and he hit his
head, and now he has a mild concussion,

the doctors say he's going to be just
fine. Oh, God, thank God. You were there

to help.

Well... Well, it was pretty touching to
go there for a while.

So how did it happen?

How did what happen?

What got it on?

Oh, it was awful.

We'll give you two a minute alone.

Okay, what the hell was I thinking? If
the old man tells Ashley I lose my job

and you lose your imaginary girlfriend.

Look, listen to me, okay? That guy took
a pretty hard shot to the head, okay? So

there's a good chance that he's not
going to remember any of this.

He's waking up.

Daddy?

Daddy.

Ashley? How are you feeling?

Well, I'm a little dizzy and my head
really hurts.

What happened?

Well, I remember... Oh, I remember how
to make some copies and, uh...

Then I don't remember.

Oh, wait!

No, that's it.

Daddy, I'm so glad that you're okay.

Oh, my little angel.

He saved your life.

Thank you. Don't thank me, sir. Pete
here deserves all the credit.

I have a feeling this internship is the
beginning of a long and prosperous

future with my firm.

Long future?

And the rest of my life? I don't... Oh,
come on, come on, Pete.

It's perfectly normal to have cold feet
when you're about to embark on something

that's going to change your life.

Actually, my feet are fine, but, um...

I think maybe it's just my passion for
architecture is what cooled off.

Nonsense. If you weren't a man of
passion, you wouldn't be here right now.

Let me tell you something, Pete.

These are the days and the decisions
that determine a young man's future.

I'm afraid you're right, sir.

You bet I am. And there's not a damn
thing you can say that'll convince me

you're not going to turn out to be one
hell of an architect. I piled your

daughter on the copy machine.

What? What?

He said he piled your daughter on the
copy machine.

You're right. You.

I remember now.

You're fired.

Consider your architecture career over.

Believe I do, sir.

Thank you.

I'm hoping that this doesn't reflect
poorly upon me.

Call me.

Who would have thought me, jobless,
directionless, and happy as a clam?

Personally, I thought it was pretty
classy of my future father -in -law to

your stuff boxed and waiting on the
curb.

CP, who knows you better than anybody,
huh?

You were right. I was just sabotaging
myself because I don't really want to be

an architect.

Maybe I was sabotaging my relationship
with Ashley because I don't really want

to be with her.

Really? No!

I think you blew it with Ashley as much
as you think.

What do you mean?

Well, I talked to her a little bit at
the hospital.

And? And she actually thought it was
kind of amusing.

You know, the way that you begged her to
get Pete a job and then Pete coming in

and blowing her dad's mind, nearly
giving him a heart attack.

She said, I guess that's all part of
Burke's charm.

Really? No!

This is really what you do all day?

Mm -hmm.

Cool.

Hear me out, Noma.

How is it?

Excellent, Correa. Look, I'm not saying
quit the Red Sox. They need a shortstop,

too. I'm just saying, play for us on
Saturday.

Only if she's playing.

That's our catcher.

Now you're embarrassing me. He's
embarrassing me. That's why I come here.

That and a pizza.

It's free, right?

It's on Pete.

Okay, look, no more.

Last offer.

You play for us, you don't pay for the
uniforms.

The Red Sox don't make me pay for my
uniform.

Yeah, but these are pre -shrunk cotton.

Later, guys.

Later. See ya.

Leave the Red Sox. Got him before we
did. Don't worry. He'll be back.

How do you know?

Joel is rookie of the year ring.

Get back.