All language subtitles for two_guys_and_a_girl_s02e05_a_girl_and_an_elective

This game sucks.

Where's the remote?

I don't know. Where'd you put it?

I think Sharon's sitting on it. Come on.

Well, are you sure?

Yeah, I think I'd feel it. Sharon, I
left it right where you're sitting. Come

on, get up. Come on.

See?

Listen, wire up. Could you get us a
couple more beers?

Looking for this?

Yeah, thanks.

Can I get you a tall, cool glass of
lemonade?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Coming right up.

Sharon, going after the repairman.

Chickabaw!

Did you ever stop and think that Johnny
just might be an emotionally scarred,

working -class hero whose genius is
simply untapped?

You know, Sharon, I am so sorry that I
got you goodwill hunting for your

birthday.

Sharon, I'm working here.

Hence my crazy idea to order from you.

You know what? I'm having a little
trouble with my class schedule right

I would have gone over it last night,
but I was a little busy preparing for my

interview with Conway & Associates,
okay? It's just the biggest architecture

firm in Boston, okay? And if I get this
internship, I'm going to be set for

life. Set for life! But I suppose, I
suppose I can put everything on hold and

get you your lemonade.

You got Isaac Bain in the middle of your
forehead.

Did I just start my psych rotation?

Great. And you know, I think I found my
calling.

Easing the woes of the pizza of the
world.

Well, on behalf of the pizza of the
world, go away.

Come on, what's wrong?

They're not going to let me graduate
unless I pick an elective.

What kind of police state are we living
in?

Look, it's my last year, all right? I
need to focus. I don't need a

right now. A distraction is exactly what
you need right now.

You're too focused, okay? You've been
eating and sleeping architecture for the

last eight months. You're stressed out
over a career that you haven't even

started yet.

You know, I think that a nice, easy
elective would be a good thing.

Loosen you up.

Okay.

I wish I had my last... semester to do
all over again, because once you're out

in the real world, every day is all yuck
and blah.

Want that lemonade?

Oh, yeah. Here you go.

Okay, right here. The perfect elective.

Intermediate bowling.

Bowling? That's a course.

I've been bowling every Wednesday night
for the past ten years. Where's my Ph

.D.? John, not just bowling.

Bowling appreciation.

You know what I appreciate about bowling
is it cost me 15 bucks.

It's gonna cost you clowns eight grand.

Go figure.

I gotta track down a part. I'll see you
tomorrow. And thanks for the lemonade.

Sure.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's so
smart.

Why's it taking him four days to fix a
jukebox?

Every night after he leaves, I break a
different part.

Oh, man.

I've got to Xerox my blueprints, I've
got to pick up my super clean cleaners,

and somehow I have to drop these cards
off to the registrar's office by five.

Hey, so if you want, I'll drop by the
registrar's office on the way home and

drop those off for you. You rule.

I will certainly do.

Hey, Bert.

Hey.

You're not going to believe this.
Funniest thing. I went into my...

class today, and it turns out I'm not
enrolled in metallurgy.

Apparently, someone enrolled me in
sports broadcasting.

Hmm.

And how does that make you feel?

Angry.

That's good. Now, tell me, how are we
going to work through these negative

emotions, Pete?

Well, First, I'm going to lunge at you
and beat you unconscious with my sports

broadcasting book.

Come on.

No, no, I can do it. It's a really heavy
book. Just calm down.

I tried to switch out, but all the other
electors were full.

Well, you should have gotten there
early, like I did. I've got to go to

interview, then I've got to rush over,
and then it's a stupid game for this

stupid course that I shouldn't even be
taking. And if I don't go, I'm going to

fail.

You know, this is the rest of my life
we're talking about.

Exactly.

It's your last year of grad school,
okay? Your last year to do something

Woo -hoo!

Your last year before yes and blech.

This is my last year.

Oh, my God, Bert, it's my last year.

You wanted to strike me with a book.

If sports broadcasting... Come on, you
know sports better than anyone.

True. How many times watching football
at a Malley's have people throwing

peanuts at your head, told you to sit
down and shut up? A lot.

Now you get college credit for that.

It'll be great. You've got the big
crowd, the stadium, the fans, the action

the field, and tell me who, who is going
to bring that fun into everyone's

living rooms?

Pete Dumbo?

Yeah!

I'm going to go to my interview, and I
want you to meet me at the game.

And if I don't have any fun, I'm going
to have to kill you afterward. Fair

enough.

I must say, Mr. Dunville, your portfolio
is quite impressive.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

I found this on the bus.

This is a little joke.

Great.

Great attention.

So what inspired you to be an architect?

My dad, my dad mostly. Was he an
architect? No, no, no, no. He was a

a construction site.

Ever since I was like eight years old,
he always had these big dreams for me.

And so, hi, how are you?

The thing that strikes me, Mr. Dunville,
is in the past 25 minutes, you've

answered all of our questions in a clear
and competent manner.

But the one thing I haven't heard you
say is why you love architecture.

I love architecture.

Hmm. Um... Well, you know, the thing
is...

Well, I mean, it's because... Well,
without

architecture, we'd all be outside.

Thank you, Mr. Dundall.

We'll have you back tomorrow to meet our
senior partner. Thank you. Thank you

very much.

Did you get that thing with the bus?

This is Pete Dunville for WMFO College
Radio, and we've got a real clash of the

titans tonight.

The first round of the Monday night
chess club tournament is just seconds

after these words from Frank Soda
Repair.

Remember, at Frank, you won't get
rooked.

Great. You got the crowd in a frenzy.

It'll be great, you say. It'll be great.

The crowd, the stadium, the action on
the field. This game doesn't even have a

ball.

So I take it the interview went poorly.
No, no. The interview went great. Going

back to meet the senior partners.

Hey, have I told you that I love
architecture lately?

Well, then you've been together as long
as we have.

You don't have to say it.

Oh, and we're back, and I think a move
is about to happen. Wait, wait, wait,

wait.

Nope.

Yes.

No.

Yes, yes, and what a move it was from
our exchange student, Yuri Kirov, who

hails from Kazakhstan.

I'll tell you, I don't know how much
longer he'll be able to sustain this

dizzying pace.

Oh, and the counter move. Oh, and a
beauty pawn to knight four. An

aggressive play by our challenger, Isaac
Glickstein.

We have a slugfest brewing here in the
Cohen Auditorium.

And Yuri the Mad Russian is dominant.

sides of the board.

And Glickstein's queen is running
scared.

Go get him, Yuri.

Finish him, Yuri.

You might. This is a blast.

You think Johnny's going to be able to
solve that, don't you?

It's possible.

Admit it. You like this guy, and you
just can't stand the fact that he's not

investment banker.

So now you're rationalizing, telling
yourself he's some big genius.

Go play with Pete's brain. Leave mine
alone.

Johnny, what do you make of this?

Yeah, I know this.

elusive, cute bunny with a big fluffy
tail theorem.

Hey, everyone. How y 'all doing? Ooh,
mine.

Happy guy.

Where's my friend?

You're right, Merck. Sports
broadcasting.

Now, normally this type of progress
would have taken years of

Me? Half hour.

Are you Pete Dunville?

Yeah, that's me. Ah!

right here he is the voice of chess yes
i am come on do it do it okay

okay this is pete dunville reminding

you it's your move oh awesome all

right see you later so i just stopped in
to let you know to

huddle around your radios tonight
because that's right, Pete Dunville is

announcing women's basketball.

Tough versus Amherst, 5 p .m. football.

Okay, first of all, stop referring to
yourself in the third person.

And second, I thought you were meeting a
senior person tonight.

Blowing them off.

What? Yep, blowing them off.

But this internship is huge.

Set for life. Can't get you lemonade,
remember? That was before I decided to

quit architecture.

What?

Thanks to that man, for he had shown me
the light.

Doll, looketh at me.

Hey, hey, you're a semester away from
getting your degree. Get your butt down

that interview.

If I go to that interview, I'm going to
tell you right now, I'm going to get

that internship.

Yeah? Yeah, and then I'm going to be
locked into that job for the rest of my

life. Why settle for yuck and blah when
I can have yippee?

Don't do this. It's bad for your future.
And your parents are going to blame me.

Your mother still hasn't forgiven me for
setting the pool on fire.

You did set the pool on fire.

And I'm tired of hearing about it.

Ever since I was 12 years old, I never
even thought about being anything but an

architect. I mean, I was the only kid on
my block who used scaffolding to build

a snowman.

Yeah, which is why you should be an
architect.

No, no, look, this stupid elective has
opened my eyes. I mean, there's so many

things out there that I've been missing,
but not anymore.

All right, so wish me luck.

Goodbye, and I will see you on the
radio.

And Pete's on bill is out the door.

Where did he get these ideas?

Oh. This isn't funny. You broke our
Pete. Now go fix them.

Where's Berg? I need him to stop this.

Oh, he just missed him.

But if you left now traveling at 15 .6
kilometers per hour, and Berg is

traveling at 5 .3...

kilometers per hour, how many minutes
will it be before you reach him?

So, in other words, he's not here.

Right.

Okay, number 42.

Tracy Keller.

Raised her eight brothers while father
worked nights.

That's a good human interest story.

Number eight. Cheryl Lozaso.

An amazing jump shot.

Parents live in a bubble.

Okay, I can use that.

Hey, Pete.

Bert, Bert, don't even try and talk me
out of this, because it's not going to

work. I just came by to wish you luck in
your new career. I even... Well, I

brought you a present.

Wow,

Bert, these are amazing.

I knew you'd like them. These are the
original blueprints for Fenway Park.

Well, this... Scale down. In real life,
it's really much bigger than this.

Look where the scoreboard used to be.

Man, they don't build them like this
anymore. And look, they used I -beams to

support the upper deck. It gave the game
character.

Pretty cool, huh? It's very, very cool.

See, this puts everything into
perspective now. It gives me something

for.

Really? Yeah.

I hope to announce a game there someday.

Nice try.

This was supposed to be an elective.

Not a career. Look, you can't just throw
everything away like this. You did a

good thing.

You helped me find my calling.

Your calling?

Yeah. I'm a natural.

You did the play -by -play for one chess
match.

I was on top of everything.

I didn't miss a move.

They made a move. Every 35 minutes.

Pete, interview.

Come on, it'll be fun. What do you say?

Pete, hey, your body language is very
negative.

Do you like to read?

Yeah, I like to read.

Oh. What did you think of Kant's
critique of pure reason?

Oh, man, I couldn't get enough of it.
Really?

What are you, crazy?

What are you trying to do?

Look, I wasn't trying to... Yes, you
were.

No, no, no, I didn't mean to... Yes, you
did. See, do I know this? Do I know

that? Let me tell you what I do know.

I know how to take a Chevy carburetor
and put it into a Ford.

I know every word to every Motown song
ever written, and...

I know you watch too many movies.

What? What are you talking about?

Good Will Hunting.

Oh, I've been meaning to see that, but
when I go to rent... Okay.

I know one more thing.

You are very, very cute.

Guess I don't have to be a genius to
figure that one out. You know, it's five

'clock. You might want to turn on the
radio.

Stupid friend is on.

I'm Pete Dunville, and we're just
seconds away from the tip -off of what

promises to be the most explosive game
between these two intrastate rivals.

Okay, looks like they're ready to play,
and here's the tip.

Coakley's all over it. It's tough
sensing up court on the fast break.

Coakley passes it to Sheila Lawrence.
Sheila Lawrence finds Lozaso baseline,

Cheryl Lozaso dunks it, just like a man.

Dunk like a man?

Pete, don't explain it. Just move on.
Move on.

And when I say she dunks it like a man,
I don't mean to imply that women aren't

as good as men. They're just slower.

It's like a handicap, but not a bad one.

Women can do anything.

I mean, I'm sure that someday we'll even
have a woman president.

We almost had a black president.

Not that we shouldn't have a black
president.

In fact, next election, I'm voting for a
woman black president.

Shut up, Pete. Just shut up already.

And I'm going to vote for her.

Not because she's black, but because
she's the most qualified.

Whoever she is.

The score is 16 to 12 as we go into our
first time out. I'm Pete Dunville with

What Is Shaping Up To Me, my last
broadcast.

Bonnie, I'm telling you, I'm not just
saying this, but I'm not a couple of

idiots.

But all I know is, somehow, somebody got
rigatoni in the jukebox.

You just have to get to know them.

My professor, Miss DeBoer, made a point
to stop by and personally give me a

date. Is that bad?

I've never gotten a D before in my life.

Well, security gave you a personal
escort to your car.

That's pretty cool.

Look, I've been studying architecture my
whole life, right? And then along comes

the sports broadcasting thing, right?
And it felt great.

You know, and I know I went a little
nuts, right? But it was so liberating.

So basically, the thing I love, I suck
at. Boy, do you ever.

I'll thank you.

Rhetorical. Didn't need a response.

And the thing I'm great at, I threw
away.

Not necessarily.

What do you mean?

What big firm you had the interview
with.

You have another interview Tuesday. I
wrote them a note as your doctor saying

you were ill.

Really? Yeah. Now, if anybody asks, you
had electroshock therapy.

You broke

our Pete. Now go fix him.

But wait.

Before we do anything, you just slapped
me in the ass, didn't you?

What? You've never done that?

Yeah.

Just like a nice little surprise in my
day.

Should I not slap his... Sure, sure. I
feel great.