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1
00:00:01,990 --> 00:00:05,430
Okay, I gotta get these blueprints
decoupled by nine.
2
00:00:05,830 --> 00:00:08,650
I have a meeting with my professor at
ten.
3
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:12,870
Hit the computer lab by eleven. And at
noon, meet with the mayor regarding
4
00:00:12,870 --> 00:00:14,230
parade for Berg.
5
00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:19,370
Oh, hey, I told you stay out of my
organizer.
6
00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:22,110
I'm not talking about a big parade.
7
00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:24,750
Just a couple of floats.
8
00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:06,540
we shared a smile. You, pretty impotent
teeth. Me, stocky guy with red hair.
9
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:09,580
Please, why not just say fat with
freckles?
10
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,880
Sharon, do you mind? Yeah, we're
defending our pop and shot title at
11
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:16,598
next week.
12
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,220
Well, I'm trying to find a guy.
13
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,440
Through the chance encounter app?
14
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,020
Well, that's so sad.
15
00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:26,720
Hey, why don't you just go buy a cat?
16
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,360
Julie, at the office?
17
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,660
Guess where she met her fiancé? Right
here in the Chance Encounter app.
18
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,240
Maybe it's Siamese. I hear calicos are
nice.
19
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:41,260
This could be me. You, pretty.
20
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,380
Cute smile and great legs.
21
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:45,980
That's a three out of three.
22
00:01:47,180 --> 00:01:48,920
Walking a shiny black lap.
23
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,820
You don't have a dog.
24
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:53,200
From a distance.
25
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,540
Okay, Sharon, give it up.
26
00:01:59,180 --> 00:01:59,979
Whoa, what?
27
00:01:59,980 --> 00:02:00,980
You,
28
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:02,780
black bike on Beacon Street.
29
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:07,060
Right, there must be a thousand guys on
Beacon Street with black bikes.
30
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,360
Saw you at the coffee place on Newberry.
You always go there.
31
00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:14,320
Half of Boston goes through there.
Walking with tall friends.
32
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:17,580
Okay, it's not me.
33
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,600
You, Parker Stevenson looks.
34
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,320
I have Parker Stevenson looks.
35
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:27,240
Me, shy but interested, are you the one?
You got a call.
36
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:28,870
No. No way, Bert.
37
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:30,410
Why not?
38
00:02:30,470 --> 00:02:32,970
I get real. Look, the people who put
these ads in the paper, they're all
39
00:02:32,970 --> 00:02:35,730
psychos. Look, what does it say? Me,
shy, but interested.
40
00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:40,530
Okay? She might as well say me, lonely,
dejected. I have space in freezer for
41
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:41,530
one more body.
42
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,370
What about the one?
43
00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:47,830
You're always talking about the one, and
here she is.
44
00:02:48,510 --> 00:02:49,770
Aren't you the leaf of curious?
45
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:52,910
No.
46
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:04,740
Okay, Sarah, why aren't you at work?
47
00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:09,980
Me? Well, it's Toxic Awareness Day.
48
00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:16,140
Bacon straight pizza.
49
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:21,540
No, sorry, we don't deliver on Toxic
Awareness Day.
50
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,760
Okay. All right, what's going on? Huh?
51
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,020
What are you guys waiting for?
52
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:33,940
You answered the... Pete,
53
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,700
I couldn't help myself. I'm an addict.
54
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:39,900
Hello.
55
00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:44,360
My name is Berg, and I'm addicted to
messing with Pete.
56
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:53,760
Besides, she really likes you. Likes me?
Berg, she's never spoken to me.
57
00:03:53,980 --> 00:03:59,240
Well, yeah, not technically, but I was
very you.
58
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:05,430
I was... sensitive and I was a good
listener and I did that thing he does
59
00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:09,650
he meets a girl where he lowers his
voice like mucho waffle guy.
60
00:04:11,970 --> 00:04:13,990
I don't lower my voice.
61
00:04:14,730 --> 00:04:16,269
Hi, I'm Pete.
62
00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:17,510
Where do you work out?
63
00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:23,410
Meanwhile, where's the future Mrs.
Dunville? She said one o 'clock.
64
00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:25,270
It's almost one o 'clock.
65
00:04:25,690 --> 00:04:28,790
Look, whenever she does get here, she's
all yours.
66
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:31,400
I get for helping you find the one?
67
00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:36,680
You're not helping, okay? You want some
twisted girl to cruise through that door
68
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,640
and torture me so you guys can laugh.
69
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:46,640
And our happiness means nothing to you?
I'm not your cat toy.
70
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:47,820
Bye.
71
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,920
Once I thought I would never love again.
But then I moved to Seattle and your
72
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,100
son called in on a radio show. He said
you were lonely. Then you met Meg Ryan
73
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,680
the top of the Empire State Building
happily ever after. The end.
74
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:00,720
You remembered.
75
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:08,000
Hey, I'm looking for Peter... Peterson
Street?
76
00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:12,940
Three blocks up. You'll see a sign.
Coffee and bondage.
77
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,240
Damn. Thought we had a live one.
78
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,480
Shake it off, folks.
79
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:22,380
Love is on the way. Okay, okay. Don't
you people have anything better to do?
80
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,360
Pink?
81
00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:34,050
Yes, can I... Can I help you?
82
00:05:34,270 --> 00:05:35,169
I'm Molly.
83
00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:36,170
You called.
84
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,310
Oh, no.
85
00:05:40,370 --> 00:05:41,370
Yes, I did.
86
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,710
Um, have a seat.
87
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,670
Oh, I can only stay for a minute. I have
to get back to the library.
88
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:50,410
Well, this sucks.
89
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:51,630
I'm out of here.
90
00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:54,610
You promised me a free.
91
00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:01,550
I mean, there's so many psychos out
there.
92
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:05,970
I almost wasn't going to show up, but
all the things you said on the phone
93
00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,490
so perfect.
94
00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:10,490
Um, tell me, um, those things I said.
95
00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:12,410
What were your favorites?
96
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:15,130
Gosh, um, everything.
97
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:17,110
Especially your life plan.
98
00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:20,330
Oh, yeah, gotta have a plan. Your belief
in finding the one.
99
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,630
That I do believe.
100
00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:24,350
And all those wonderful things you said
about your roommate.
101
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,670
I'm sorry, excuse me?
102
00:06:29,770 --> 00:06:32,930
Gladly jump on a grenade for him because
someday he's going to be a great doctor
103
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:36,130
who saves the world while getting
continually better looking and more
104
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,170
as the years go on.
105
00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:39,990
Yes, yes.
106
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,950
The grenade speech.
107
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,610
Oops, I better get to work. I hate to be
late.
108
00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:51,730
Hey, I hate to be late too. Really?
109
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:56,650
What do you say we get together and do
something right on time?
110
00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,430
Well, I get off work at six.
111
00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:04,430
Okay. I'm there. Okay. Um, here is my
work number. Okay. I'll call you at six.
112
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:05,870
Don't be late. Never am.
113
00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:16,590
And in an
114
00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:21,610
unbelievable turn of events, good has
triumphed over evil.
115
00:07:26,690 --> 00:07:30,880
You, tall, some investment banker
getting out of Porsche.
116
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,440
Me, too shy to say hello.
117
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,560
You, too shy.
118
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,320
I've seen you offend construction
workers.
119
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,020
Why don't you just go up to the guy?
120
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,700
Because there is no guy.
121
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,420
If I'm spending 50 bucks for this ad, I
want perfection.
122
00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:54,120
I think you might be setting your sights
just a little too high.
123
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,900
Ah, you're right.
124
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:58,640
If you were driving an...
125
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:00,720
Okay, two.
126
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:01,980
Where's Pete?
127
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,120
There.
128
00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,620
Unbelievable. This is the fourth
practice in a row he's missed.
129
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,040
We're playing for the championship, but
no.
130
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:15,320
Molly wants to ride bikes. Molly wants
to go on a hike. Molly wants to have a
131
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,320
picnic.
132
00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,720
Does anybody ask what Berg wants?
133
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:25,640
Oh, you big lunkhead. Your plan
backfired.
134
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,620
Pete's hooked up with a great chick, and
you're stuck. here holding your ball.
135
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,020
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
136
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,340
Yeah, it says so right here.
137
00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:13,880
Tomorrow night is the pop and shot
tournament at O'Malley's. Oh, my God.
138
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:15,860
That is tomorrow.
139
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,160
Yes, it is. Where the hell are your
priorities?
140
00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,220
Molly. Berg's right.
141
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,100
We'll do ballet.
142
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,440
come between Pete and me again, I will
end you.
143
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,620
This is a very weird dream.
144
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,180
This is a very big bat.
145
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:41,060
I mean,
146
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:43,700
she's cute.
147
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,200
I was at Molly's.
148
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:59,420
At any point during the night, did you
notice that she and her baseball bat
149
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,420
missing?
150
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:01,500
I was sleeping.
151
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:02,940
What are you talking about?
152
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:07,080
Molly has... How can I put this?
153
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:10,860
Horrifying, scary, evil, violent side.
154
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:14,620
Aha.
155
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,820
Yeah, that must be why she baked you
muffins this morning.
156
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,380
It did.
157
00:11:28,460 --> 00:11:29,520
Well, I'll take my chances.
158
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,300
You gotta hear me.
159
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,960
I woke up last night, and Molly was
standing over my bed, threatening me
160
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:37,839
baseball bat.
161
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,900
She said, if I ever come between you and
her again, she will end me.
162
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:47,740
Okay. Okay, Bert, that's it. Listen, no
more scary movies after 9 o 'clock.
163
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:51,280
It wasn't a dream. It was real, and she
was there.
164
00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,510
You're jealous.
165
00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:01,490
You know, you're jealous, but listen,
buddy.
166
00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:03,190
I'm always going to be Pete.
167
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:05,430
You're always going to be Berg.
168
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:08,150
And we're always going to be Pete and
Berg.
169
00:12:10,710 --> 00:12:11,710
Shut up.
170
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:14,530
You've got to believe me.
171
00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:17,990
Molly's like girlfriend of the corn.
172
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:24,970
Look, there's Molly.
173
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:27,650
Pete, there's no shame in hiding.
174
00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:56,390
that you came into his room last night
with a baseball bat and, like,
175
00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:58,870
him if, you know, he ever came between
us.
176
00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:01,530
Frigg will never come between us.
177
00:13:03,190 --> 00:13:06,170
Hey, look at these cute names I came up
with.
178
00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:08,190
Names for what? Our four kids.
179
00:13:09,050 --> 00:13:11,530
Abigail or Adam. Bella or Bruce.
180
00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:13,370
Carolyn or Carl.
181
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,770
Debbie or Dennis.
182
00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:15,970
See how you use the alphabet?
183
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:26,200
Imagine someone as sweet as you doing
something as crazy as that.
184
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,480
As crazy as what?
185
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:37,300
I mean, you know, you would never, like,
take a baseball bat and, like, beat
186
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,300
Bird with it.
187
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,080
Oh, yes, in a heartbeat.
188
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,500
Look, here's you.
189
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,320
Here's me.
190
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,140
And here's Annie.
191
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:15,550
by a deranged librarian with a baseball
bat.
192
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:19,470
No relationship is perfect.
193
00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:25,050
You have to dump her. No, he can't dump
her. He dumps her, she kills me.
194
00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:28,750
Well, then, she's going to have to break
up with you. No, Sharon, that's
195
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:32,190
impossible. She's totally in love with
me, and I'm the one.
196
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:36,350
Damn these Parker Stevenson looks.
197
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,640
So are you. What upsets your world the
most?
198
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,080
Him.
199
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,820
So? Become Berg.
200
00:14:55,040 --> 00:15:00,200
Be spontaneous. Be impulsive. Don't take
responsibility for your actions.
201
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,260
Be a flake. Be a goof. Okay, we get it.
202
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,480
It drives you nuts.
203
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:11,740
It'll really drive her nuts. This
actually might work. I'm just gonna
204
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:13,410
like you and I'm going to drive her
nuts.
205
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:17,690
Unless, of course, she chops us up and
makes us into quiche.
206
00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:33,730
You know, there was a time when I
thought this was cute.
207
00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:36,950
But now it says so much.
208
00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:41,670
Just get in, get dumped, and get out.
209
00:15:41,990 --> 00:15:43,210
This girl is thick.
210
00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:45,550
She's deranged. She's dangerous.
211
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,520
you meet these people. You just can't
help yourself, can you?
212
00:16:20,740 --> 00:16:25,400
I love to entertain, don't I, Pumpkin?
Yes, Muffins. I make him call me
213
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,100
As well he should.
214
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:31,140
Pumpkin, why don't you pour the wine?
I'll go get the hors d 'oeuvres.
215
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,960
What are you waiting for? I can't just
jump into spontaneity.
216
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,950
Certainly keeps busy during the night.
217
00:17:07,270 --> 00:17:08,849
Please, sit.
218
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:13,750
Quiche.
219
00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:17,550
Oh,
220
00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:27,250
they're a mixture of Colby and cheddar.
221
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:32,990
Hey, don't you have a cousin named
Colby? Huh?
222
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:43,400
You know, I was thinking about our kids.
Oh, what about them? Yeah, I think that
223
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,540
maybe we should name them all after
cheeses.
224
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,280
You know, Gouda Dunville, right?
225
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:55,660
Swiss Dunville, Cheddar Dunville.
226
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,200
No, no, no, that's not the plan.
227
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,300
And the little genius of the family,
Cheez Whiz.
228
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:07,280
Look, we already agreed on the names.
Oh, look, Blanche, ma 'am.
229
00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:11,590
We're having a June wedding next year.
230
00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:14,290
You know what?
231
00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:17,650
Why wait a year?
232
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:20,070
It's just one -off tonight. Get married.
233
00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:26,050
I don't know. What about the showers and
the engagement parties and picking up
234
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:31,290
China? Who needs it? I say, when you
find the one, why wait? Let's go.
235
00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:51,560
Think you should maybe think it over?
236
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,200
You gonna stand in our way?
237
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:55,820
Congratulations, Pete.
238
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,580
Um, I'll go pack a bag.
239
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:00,840
Woo -hoo!
240
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:02,759
Abandon ship.
241
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,860
No, no, no, no.
242
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:07,800
She knows where we work. She knows where
we live.
243
00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,020
Nice going, Berg.
244
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,460
I didn't tell you to propose.
245
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,720
I'm going to end you.
246
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:13,980
No, Pete, Pete!
247
00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:31,090
explain. Okay, explain.
248
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:34,790
It was Berg who called you.
249
00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:36,990
She handed me the phone.
250
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:39,570
You mean it's all been a lie?
251
00:19:40,410 --> 00:19:42,730
You've been pretending to be someone
else?
252
00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:44,830
Yeah, I'm afraid so.
253
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:19,219
Congratulations, Berg.
254
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:22,180
Uh, Cher, what do you say we leave these
two kids alone and you and I go play a
255
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,019
little poppin' shots?
256
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,020
Works.
257
00:21:10,190 --> 00:21:17,190
street pizza you blonde hair me the one
love life plans and quiche meet me in
258
00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:20,830
seattle i'll be the guy average height
in jeans and a flannel shirt please
259
00:21:20,830 --> 00:21:27,810
wait if it was that easy why
260
00:21:27,810 --> 00:21:31,810
didn't you just do that when she was
stalking me when she was stalking you it
261
00:21:31,810 --> 00:21:32,810
was funny
262
00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:56,860
too shy to say get away from
19961
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