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Hello, I'm Diarrhea Jones, and the
inventor of D -pants.
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D -pants are protective pants you wear
under your trousers to capture and
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contain your uncontrollable diarrhoea.
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Just squirt away right into the plastic.
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The diarrhoea almost never runs away
through the tight elastic around the
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ankles.
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And my D -pants are discreet. As a
matter of fact, I've been filling them
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right in front of you.
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And when they're filled up to the brim,
you just hose them off in your backyard.
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Hello, Jenny.
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Ready for a new day.
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Damn it, I forgot to tell you. My deep
pans are not made for solid loaves.
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It's too much for the plastic.
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It'll rip a hole right through the back.
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So please, keep it liquid.
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This is Diarrhea Jones reminding you to
squirt on the go and poo in your pants
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with D -Pants.
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Fresh hot cocoa.
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Come to daddy.
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Ow, hot!
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Well, it's official. There's no way
we're going to that party in this
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out there. You said it, Tim. Eric, check
this out.
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Shake it, baby.
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Shake it, baby.
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Tim, careful of my new carpet.
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Shake, shake, shake.
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Ooh,
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hot cocoa.
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Careful, Tim. You might want to blow on
it first.
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What?
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Not like this.
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But like this.
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Because it's so hot.
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I'll take my chances.
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Always a little behind the eight ball,
aren't you?
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Let me get another cup.
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I'll get it, Mr.
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Worrywart.
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Anybody got any juggle cables?
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Richard, come in here. Get out of the
cold.
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I tried driving.
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But the car wouldn't start.
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It's too cold out there.
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Put down that battery and come get some
hot cocoa.
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Hot cocoa?
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Oh!
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That's a cool listing!
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Oh, shit!
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Hot!
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You don't understand!
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The crap!
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That's improv.
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I made that up off the top of my head.
Hey, I want to spit on that person.
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Acting! let you do this.
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Love the camera, guys.
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Love it.
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Write that down! He fixed the fern back!
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Which is a great stage name, by the way,
Cassie. Get rid of Cassie. Your new
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name is Fix the Fern Back.
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Mr. Fern Back, how are you today?
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Fix the!
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Answer me, fix the!
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Your smart -ass attitude is not going to
get you into a good college.
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I went to James Sprunt Community
College.
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Took acting there for seven years.
That's Sprunt. S -P -R -U -N -T.
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Guess what it spells with.
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Rhymes with.
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You stick your tongue in a burrito and
all of a sudden people think you're
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Let's go through everybody's names.
What's your name?
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Kathy.
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Joyko.
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Melinda.
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Stanley.
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Fix the phone back.
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That's right Cheers
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to you guys. This is nice.
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Hey, you know what this reminds me of?
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What's that Tim? The first video we ever
made together
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Okay,
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guys, for the last of the hot cocoa.
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Be right there.
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What are you doing over there?
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Peeing in a jar.
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What the heck for?
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In case the pipes freeze?
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Hey, Rick.
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Hold this for a minute.
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Hey,
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guys, you know it's supposed to snow
outside.
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David, it is snowing outside.
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Oops, me so sorry.
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Did you know I need to check my email
because my wing long is down.
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00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,780
You know what that reminds me of? The
first song we ever wrote together.
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That doesn't ring a bell for me.
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David, this might jog your memory.
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Now I remember.
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Email's the best way to communicate with
your friends. Better than that antique
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telephone you have at home. And we made
a song up about it, and this is how it
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goes. And this is Albert Herman. He's
going to sing it with me. Hi.
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Nice to see you.
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Email's a great way to stay in touch
with one another.
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It's all right.
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Jump online and write to a friend and
stay in touch forever.
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It's online.
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Email's like speaking telepathically
through a machine.
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00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:08,830
Staying in touch is using email better
than your best dream.
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00:07:11,919 --> 00:07:15,860
Email's a great way to stay in touch
with one another.
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It's all right.
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It's online.
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Hello, I'm Dr. Alan Thicke. Studies have
shown that short periods of sleep
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during the day can drastically reduce
the incidence of some minor illnesses.
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And that's why I'm here to introduce you
to a brand new fruit.
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It's called the Cinco Napo.
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This fruit makes you fall asleep and
then wakes you up after only about 15
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minutes. This is a truly amazing fruit.
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First, the apples are injected with a
mild bowel irritant.
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Then the apples are dipped in a sleeping
gel and set in the sun to dry.
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Simply take a few bites from an apple
and it knocks you out.
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Oh, I'm so sleepy.
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The apple juice sits in your stomach and
then starts to gently irritate the
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bowels. So you wake up.
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You may want to wear your deep pants.
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After all, a napple a day and a good nap
a day will keep me away.
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Great job.
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47, 48, 49, 50, 51,
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52. Full deck of cards.
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Well, I'm out of ideas.
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You know what? Just because we're snowed
in doesn't mean we can't have fun. We
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just have to put our heads together.
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Interesting.
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Check this out.
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Hey, check out Richard, huh?
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Go, Rich!
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Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich!
Go, Rich! Go, Rich! Go, Rich!
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Check it, baby.
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You know what, Tim?
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This gives me an idea.
138
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Nice. Hey, Eric, I love your ideas, man.
139
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Check it out, Tim. All our friends are
here.
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Oh, snow, keep it coming.
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Uh -huh.
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Nice.
10312
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