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Oh. Oh, this is a story about a guy
named Al, and he lived in a sewer with
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master pal, but the sanitation workers
really didn't approve.
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So he packed up his accordion and had to
move to a city in Ohio, where he lived
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in a tree, and he worked in a nasal
decongestion factory. And he played on
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company bowling team, and every single
night he had a strange recurring dream,
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where he was wearing leader holes and in
a vat of sour cream. But that's really
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not important in the story.
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Well, the very next year he met a dental
hygienist with a special attitude on
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her arm, but he didn't even touch any
lobster number. Then he got himself a
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on a tater tot farm.
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Outro Music
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Today's lesson is, it's important to
acknowledge your mistakes, learn from
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and try to do better next time.
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Screwdriver, screwdriver, where do all
the screwdrivers go around here?
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Oh, good.
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Hey, how you doing? Man, have I had a
busy morning. It's only 11 .32, and
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already I've gotten so much done. For
one thing, I'm really close to finishing
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this brand new invention.
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Plus, I've gone through all the letters
in the mailbag and gotten my fortune
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told by Madame Judy.
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And, uh, old Bobby came over this
morning. I had to answer every single
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his ridiculous questions.
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And, of course, I had my weekly
highlight game with Terry Garr.
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Man, did I get whooped.
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It's just been a madhouse here this
morning.
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Ah! Ah!
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There! All done!
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I've rewired this old clock radio into a
bona fide time machine.
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Now I can go back to any point in
history anytime I want to. That's kind
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cool, huh?
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Let's see.
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I've worked tirelessly for days on end,
and I finally invented something that
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will change the very face of
civilization as we know it.
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What should I do to celebrate?
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I know! Watch TV!
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Ow!
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Careful!
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Let this be a lesson to the rest of you.
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Always make sure you warm up before you
start doing serious exercise.
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Otherwise, you're liable to... Oh, not
my spine.
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Oh, that's smart.
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Stop it!
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You have no respect for me.
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That's what it all comes down to. And I
refuse to be in a relationship where I
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am not respected.
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I'm leaving you.
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Goodbye.
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Be sure to join us again tomorrow for
The Young and the Housebroken.
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Today's kids question is from Lisa
Halliday in Downers Grove, Illinois, who
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asks, Do anchormen really have anchors
attached to them?
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Of course not, Lisa.
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We have...
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Huge concrete blocks.
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Anchors haven't been used since the late
70s.
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20 seconds to liftoff and counting.
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Still no launch pad power. Can somebody
confirm status on that?
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We have isolated the system malfunction
and we are ready to proceed.
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Copy that.
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Ignition? Houston, we have a problem.
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Got a six -foot grounded heavy -duty
extension cord with a two -prong
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Huh. Wonder who that could be.
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I know. Where is he?
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Who? Harvey? I predict he's in his habit
trail.
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Happy birthday, little buddy.
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For he's a jolly good hamster. For he's
a jolly good hamster. For he's a jolly
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good hamster.
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Which nobody can deny. No, it couldn't
be.
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Today's not Harvey's birthday, is it?
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It is Harvey's birthday. Oh, man, I
totally faith.
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For you, little fella.
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Your very own monogrammed spatula.
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Very nice, very nice.
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Hope you like it, Harv.
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I made it myself.
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I couldn't find thread that was strong
enough, so I used hair that I yanked out
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of my own head.
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Hey,
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where's Val Brentwood, gal spy?
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Guess she forgot all about Harvey's
birthday.
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Can you imagine that?
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Harvey!
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Happy birthday, baby. I just finished
risking my life to bring you this.
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It's a play do with a two -way radio.
Now we can keep in touch while I'm out
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my dangerous spy mission.
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Okay, okay.
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From my own collection.
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A crystal ball to guide your path.
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Look! You can see the future swirling in
it already.
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Wait a minute.
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That's not the future.
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That's saved by the bell.
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Hey, this thing's picking up cable.
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Cool.
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I could never admit to Harvey that I
forgot to get him a present. He'd be
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crushed.
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If only I could do the whole morning
over.
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Hey, I can do this day over.
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I'll just use my invention to go back in
time, pick up a present for Harvey.
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Come to think of it, I can redo anything
I want.
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Oh, this will be great.
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Okay, I'll just set it for 30 minutes
into the past.
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There. Okay, now I just hit this snooze
bar and...
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Ouch! I think my invention needs a
slight adjustment.
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Went a little too far back in time.
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That's a little closer, but still not
right.
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Hey, it worked!
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I've gone 30 minutes back in time from
where I started.
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Now I can just run by Horatio's hamster
hut and pick out the perfect gift for
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Harvey, and he'll never know I forgot.
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I guess it's time for Al's mailbag.
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Well, I don't have time to answer the
mail again. I gotta... Wait a minute.
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Didn't see this one before.
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A letter from the electric company?
Final notice?
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Those ingrates!
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I pay my bill almost every month!
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These guys deserve a piece of my mind.
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Hello, electric company.
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Yeah, I just received a final notice
from you people, and I am outraged.
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if you bozos can't wait for my payment,
then I don't need you.
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I've got a hamster here with a wheel
that can power my whole house.
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So get a grip, all right?
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See, sometimes you've got to show these
big companies who... Technical
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difficulties, but stick around.
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With the help of my time machine, I'm
going to get Harvey a birthday present
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it's the last thing I do.
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We'll be right back. Maybe if Al would
just admit that he forgot Harvey's
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birthday and try to deal with it, he
wouldn't need a time machine.
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Hey, don't go away. The Weird Al Show
will be back in a flash.
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Can you believe it? The Weird Al Show is
back.
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Yeah. Hey, everybody.
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A little misunderstanding with the
electric company here, and I'm almost
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matches. I guess I should probably just
use my time machine again.
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All right. Okay, I'll go back in time
another half hour so I can pay my
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bill and get Harvey a present so he'll
never know I forgot.
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Here goes.
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00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,800
Oh, that's better. Oh, hey, Madam Judy.
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Silence told!
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I am divining... your future that's
great but i already know my future and i
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don't really have time for this right
now so can we do this some other day
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oh i see that you are anxious oh you are
a very anxious
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person anxious that's not what you told
me last time you told my fortune oh the
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anxious man is soon bitten by
radioactive lobsters
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Good to know. Okay, Madam Judy, I really
got to run. Just put this on my food
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saying tab, okay?
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Man, what a day this has been.
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Can you believe it?
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No! No!
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Oh, she was right!
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Oh, man,
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that was creepy.
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I sure hope there aren't any nasty side
effects.
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Oh, I should be fine.
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Now, what do I have to do?
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One, call the exterminator to get rid of
the lobsters.
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Two, pay the electric bill.
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Three, there's three.
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All right, I got fingers.
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Yeah, okay, let's see. Call
exterminator, pay electric bill, get
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present. Okay.
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Hi, Al.
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Bobby, I don't have time right now.
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But Al, I just gotta know something.
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Where do ice cubes come from?
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Believe it or not, Bobby, I already
answered that for you, and I don't have
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to do it again, okay?
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But, Al, I really want to know.
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Bobby, I'll tell you later. But, Al, I
want to know now!
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Al!
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You know what, Bobby?
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00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,700
I would show you an educational film on
this subject that I already showed you,
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but based on your recent behavior, I
think there's another film you should
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watch.
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00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,040
What are manners?
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Manners are the rules we all live by
that keep us from beating the living
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daylights out of each other.
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When Mary goes over to visit her friend
Sally, and Sally tells her that she
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smells funny, that's not very good
manners, is it?
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No, and it's liable to hurt her
feelings, too.
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00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:33,700
What would a polite host do?
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A polite host wears a sweater identical
to the one his friend is wearing.
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That makes his guest feel at ease.
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What other ways can we be courteous?
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Well, when you attend a school assembly
and you have to sit through a boring
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puppet show, don't talk, don't say a
word. Just act like it's the funniest
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you've ever seen in your life.
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Then get up and leave quickly before
they do an encore.
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When eating in restaurants, remember,
the left fork is for the salad, the
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fork is for the main course, and the
last fork is for defending yourself
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rabid wolverines.
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And most importantly, always remember
those three magic words.
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Please, thanks, and uvula.
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Try repeating these helpful phrases
after me.
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Please move, you're standing on my neck.
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Thanks so much for the giant bag of goat
droppings.
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My, but you have a lovely uvula.
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00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:33,500
I hope these little handy hints will
help you to mind your manners.
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00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,300
So, Bobby, did you learn something here
today?
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I sure did.
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00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:44,520
I learned that you won't answer my
questions anymore, you big doofus.
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00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:50,160
Here, take back the bowling ball you
gave me. I don't like you anymore.
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00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,480
But, Bobby, I... Ow!
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Oh!
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00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:06,860
Okay, that's it. No more distractions.
I've got to get Harvey's present or he's
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going to be so upset.
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Ow!
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00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,600
Oh!
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00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:14,940
Ow!
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00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,580
Why are you in such a hurry?
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00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:20,600
Boy, our highlight game isn't for
another 20 minutes.
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00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000
Oh, that's right.
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00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:26,020
Oh, Terry, Terry, I'm really sorry, but
I've gotten really busy. I'm going to
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00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:27,020
have to cancel.
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00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,600
Cancel?
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00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,540
Cancel? But I got up early for this. I
mean, I could have slept in.
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00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:36,260
Terry, I'm really sorry, but you
wouldn't believe how many things I have
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Oh, cry me a river. Go!
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00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:44,840
And here, busy boy, you're going to need
your loud...
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00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,250
Must be getting kind of early in the
day.
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00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:03,330
You know, all this time travel is making
me kind of hungry.
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00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:07,290
Before I go any further, I think I need
a little nutrition break.
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00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:14,510
So why don't we make frozen waffle and
sardine nachos? Now, you start with
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00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:16,410
your waffles. Heat it or not, it's your
choice.
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00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:23,310
Then add the sardines, the nacho cheese,
some jalapenos, motor oil,
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and the secret ingredient,
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Shaved chocolate.
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00:14:28,890 --> 00:14:31,250
Now, personally, I like to shave the
chocolate myself.
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00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:34,590
Oh, and I prefer an electric razor over
the blade kind.
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00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:36,110
It just tastes better that way.
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00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:42,670
Electric ones are also a lot safer. I
mean, I can't tell you how many
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I've... The razor's possessed!
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00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,870
Maybe next time I'll just use chocolate
chips.
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00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:09,130
Say, why does everything suddenly seem
louder?
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00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:29,450
Okay, it's 8 .30 in the morning. Now,
what do I have to do to make
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00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:30,450
everything right?
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00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:35,780
Okay. To hide all my mistakes, I need to
fix my electric shaver, get rid of the
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00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:40,180
lobsters, play highlight with Terry
Garr, pay the electric bill, answer
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00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:41,940
question, and buy Harvey a present.
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00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,460
Now, unless something gets in my way,
like, say, a Russian Cossack dancer, I
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00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:47,460
should be just great.
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So, when Al comes to, maybe he'll
finally deal with the fact that he
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00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:57,180
forgot Harvey's birthday.
242
00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:00,260
The Weird Al Show will be right back.
243
00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:06,990
Promise! It's time for more of the Weird
Al Show!
244
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:10,990
Al!
245
00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:12,490
Al!
246
00:16:12,990 --> 00:16:15,350
Al! Al! What happened?
247
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:18,470
We came over to celebrate Harvey's
birthday and we found you like this.
248
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:20,789
Oh, yeah.
249
00:16:20,790 --> 00:16:22,150
Must have bumped my head.
250
00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:26,570
Look, let me just do what I should have
done in the first place.
251
00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:27,890
You know.
252
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:37,420
Harvey, I'm really sorry, but I didn't
get you a birthday present. I totally
253
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,340
forgot. Can you forgive me?
254
00:16:39,820 --> 00:16:40,820
Wait!
255
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,840
Harvey is channeling me. He says, eh, no
biggie.
256
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,960
He's just glad you're here. Now let's
snarf some cake!
257
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:55,160
Yeah! I can't believe all that running
around I did. Just so I wouldn't have to
258
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,039
admit I forgot.
259
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,820
I should have known my best friend would
understand if I made a mistake.
260
00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:01,400
Okay, Harv, blow out that candle.
261
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,620
Hey, buddy, no problem. I think my band
is around here somewhere.
262
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:35,580
Oh, there they are.
263
00:17:37,260 --> 00:17:38,540
I think we're all set up.
264
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,880
You guys ready to rock and roll?
265
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,680
All right!
266
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:48,580
Looks like Al solved his problem just by
admitting his mistake and apologizing.
267
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:50,280
See how easy that was?
268
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,880
This is boring.
269
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,880
Yeah. And I sure wish my morphomagic
degree.
270
00:18:02,030 --> 00:18:03,510
Kids, are you looking for this?
271
00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:06,190
It's Morpho Man's head!
272
00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:08,230
Wow! All right!
273
00:18:08,610 --> 00:18:12,150
Imagine the fun, imagine the adventure
when the Morpho Man's head and torso
274
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:16,230
collide! Put them together to strike a
blow against the forces of the evil
275
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,230
Emperor Zargo!
276
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,470
Take that, you evildoers! Yeah!
277
00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:24,470
Combine them in the Morpho Car for
action -packed thrills! Hey, look out!
278
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:25,169
that train!
279
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,170
All right!
280
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:30,830
When Morpho Man becomes a viable life
form, the fun...
281
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:35,929
Morpho Man.
282
00:18:35,930 --> 00:18:39,150
Head, arms, legs, feet, hands, torso,
and rear end all sold separately.
283
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,270
Don't even ask about the Morpho Car.
284
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:44,190
Hold your horses!
285
00:18:44,510 --> 00:18:45,770
We'll be right back.
286
00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:50,690
And now, the spying...
287
00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:09,810
like a giant carbonated soda.
288
00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:12,710
S -O -D -A soda.
289
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,690
I saw the little run sticking there on a
log.
290
00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:21,610
I asked him his name and in a raspy
voice he said Yoda.
291
00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,530
Y -O -D -A Yoda.
292
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:07,350
is starting to go.
23599
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