All language subtitles for Welcome Back Kotter s04e06 The Sweatmobile

Well, guys, here it is, lunchtime again.

Otherwise known as Mother's Revenge.

Yeah, hey, Arnold.

That's one form of child abuse that they
ain't doing nothing about.

Let's see what those little mothers
packed for us today, huh? Right.

Oh, my.

What you got, Arnold?

Peanut butter and prune.

And she knows I hate peanut butter.

Well, it beats what I got.

A leftover turkey sandwich.

What's wrong with that, Freddy? It was
leftover since last Thanksgiving.

What do you got, little one?

I got my typical Wednesday afternoon
special.

Chopped liver burrito.

I got a good lunch today. Listen to
this.

Swiss cheese and cornflakes on rye.

Suddenly, my peanut butter and prune
sounds very tasty.

No, it's neat.

You know what you do? You take the Swiss
cheese, and you take cornflakes, and

you stuff it in little holes.

This way, when you eat it, you don't get
any cornflakes on your lap.

Hey, guys, what do you say we have a
grab bag, huh? Yeah, put it on in. Hey,

that's a good idea. There you go. Shake
it up.

All right, let me get it. Hold it. Okay,
now everybody close your eyes, all

right? Okay.

Get on your mark.

Get set.

liver burrito.

Like a cornflakes. Hey, this is a good
idea.

Well, well, well, look at this Murray.

Little babies is eating their lunches
that their mommies made for them.

They say you eating baby food.

Hey guys, don't you know that it was bad
manners to look so ugly while people

was eating?

Yeah, well, anyway, look at it. You guys
are sitting there brown bagging it.

And, uh, I'm eating a lunch that's been
made by a professional.

A real white burger.

Hey, I know they didn't make that in the
school cafeteria.

Of course not. Say, of course not. I got
this at the burger czar.

Where the burgers are.

This is a Rasputin special with Russian
dressing.

He's talking about a commie burger to
go.

Hey, Yaz, maybe we could go there
tomorrow for lunch, huh? Forget it.

Unless you got a car, you can't eat
there. It's strictly a driving joint.

He said no wheels, no meals.

Oh, wow.

And we gotta forget about it, man.

No, no, no, wait a minute, wait a
minute. I hate to see you guys confined

eating this meager fare for yet another
day.

Do you mean to say that you would drive
down to the burger czar where the

burgers are to get a burger for us?

I'm going to do better than that,
Arnold.

I'm going to sell you my car.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a
minute. No need for hesitation here.

Gentlemen, I am prepared to offer you a
very, very sweet deal. Yeah, that sounds

like what happened when Uncle Louie
tried to sell us a car. Yeah, which

out to be the worst experience of all
our lives.

Hey, Maria.

Pull up a burger. I think we'll take a
listen to this little story here.

All right, it all started when we all
saved up enough money where we thought

could buy a car, right? So my Uncle
Louie said he could get us a good deal

it. So we all call Uncle Louie, and he
comes back to us and makes it $150.

Hey, Vinny, don't forget to add in my
life savings.

Oh, yeah, $150 plus 87 cents.

Guys,

we just bought ourselves a car.

I just can't wait until the local
peasantry gets a load of me behind the

Sweet Arnold, slow down. Almost there.

Whiplash!

Call my lawyer.

I'm doing all the driving. Here.

Because my Uncle Louie gave us a good
deal on a car.

And I put in most of the money, 90
bucks, and I got most of the experience

behind a wheel anyway, so I get to do it
all.

Yeah, but Vinnie, you spend most of your
time in the back seat.

Well, that's behind a wheel, ain't it?

Yeah, well, I put in the next highest
amount, so I get to ride shotgun.

Yeah, yeah, well, my 25 bucks bought me
a window seat in the back.

Hey, what do I get for my 87 cents?

You get to ride up front, under the
hood.

your nose for a dipstick.

HR, tell me now, when do we get the car?

All right, well, I told my Uncle Lou
that I'd give him the money this

and he said he dropped the car by the
hospital after school, so... Ooh, look

out, nurses! Here we go!

Welcome back.

Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Who'd
have thought they'd need ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here.

We tease him a lot because we got him on
the spot. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, we
tease him a lot because we got him on

spot. Welcome back.

Girls, you better go off to class, okay?

Something has to be done about all these
students in these hallways. They're

everywhere.

Why can't we be like other schools and
have more dropouts?

Good morning, Mr. Woodman.

Where is Miss Sharbeck?

She called me to sub for her again
today.

What is it this time?

I don't know. She said she has too many
white cells in her blood.

Not quite sure what it means.

There's a white sale at Bloomingdale's.

And there's a white sale at Macy's. And
there's a white sale at Gimble's. And I

could go on.

No, don't. I get the picture.

Send Gabe into my office, will you
please?

You know, these halls would not be
nearly as crowded if he got on the ball

started expelling some of these
students.

Gabe isn't here either.

Oh. Oh, you think maybe, uh, Gabe and
Miss... I'm a little something.

No, Mr. Woodman, he's at that school
board seminar upstate. Another seminar?

I give him a promotion and right away
he's a social butterfly.

Mr. Woodman, when you were vice
principal, you went to those school

seminars all the time.

Yeah, and what did I get out of it?

Year after year, seeing the same dreary
faces, hearing the same boring lectures,

eating the same stale finger sandwiches.

God, how I miss them.

How you doing, Mr. Woodman?

Gangsters.

Mrs. Carter.

So, where's the mister?

He's at a seminar, Arnold. He'll be back
late tonight.

Oh, yeah? Well, we got some good news
for him. Perhaps we could drop by your

residence tonight.

Not drop by, Vinnie. Yeah, yeah. It'd be
more like cruise.

the maximum speed limit of course. What
are you guys talking about?

We got ourselves a car.

What?

Are you crazy? That's grand theft.

Now, I don't know where you got this
car, but take it back and turn

in and maybe you'll get suspended
sentences.

Mr. Woodman, I am ashamed of you as long
as you've known these boys and you are

ready to think of the worst of them.
Yeah.

Come here, fellas.

Come on.

Now, I don't care where you got that
car. I want you to take it back, turn

yourselves in, and maybe you'll get
suspended then.

Uh, come on, Mrs. Cotter. This ain't no
hot car.

Well, it is when we're in it. Yeah.

Hey, look here, Mrs. Cotter.

Vinnie's Uncle Louie, he sold it to us
for 150 bucks. And 87 cents.

Which should put us on the road to a car
full of kissy face.

Girls.

That's right.

Girls. Hover, hover, hover. Before you
get your engines all revved up, let me

remind you, no decent girl would be
caught dead with a sweat hog.

What does that make me? I married one.

You're different. You're from Nebraska.

You were brought up with hogs.

victory dancer in yet? Oh, just a
second. I'll check.

Hold on your hats, boys. Tonight we make
the big touchdown in the sky.

Oh, yeah. We're about to join the major
league.

Oh, come on. Those girls are
cheerleaders. They never go out with us.

Oh, yeah?

Will you watch old Juan circumnavigate
this situation here?

Morning, ladies.

Would you and your friends like to go
out with me and my co -horses?

Think of what being seen on the arm of a
star basketball player will do for your

image.

Yeah, it'll make me look short.

Your mama's short.

You guys don't know how to do anything.
You want to see a pro get the job done?

Yeah. All right. Take notes, if you
like.

I hate hospitals. Why do we got to pick
our car up at a hospital?

It's because Benny works here and his
uncle's going to drop the car up here.

Gee, I wonder if this car comes fully
equipped.

Well, I know them cheerleaders showing
up there.

I got us a decoration for the car.

Oh, no, little one. A nice, thank
Christopher belongs in the front.

Let him bring his own dice.

Why, they ain't loaded.

According to the New York driver's
manual, and I quote, nothing may be

or on a vehicle so that it obstructs the
driver's clear view through the

windshield. I'm sorry.

I gotta use the dice. I ain't got no
baby shoes.

Yeah, his family's still using them.

They kept the shoes and they bronzed his
feet.

I talked to Uncle Louie's house, and
they said that Uncle Louie left about an

hour ago, so he should be here any
minute. Oh, good. Hey, Vinnie, since

going to be doing all of the driving, I
would like to test you on the laws that

govern our local highways and our
byways, okay?

Let's start with page one, hand signals.
All right.

What does this mean?

Oh, I know what that means. That means
your underarm deodorant ain't dry yet.

It's in Corner Bay Parkway and 86th
Street. No doubt from not using the

hand signals.

Get this patient into exam room three.
Step.

Barbarino, move that patient now. Ray,
Ray, see that? When they need a real

doctor, they get Barbarino.

Look at this poor guy. He probably
didn't even know what hit him.

Hey, this ain't no patient. This is my
Uncle Louie.

It's a sad day in Brooklyn.

Hey, man, that's bad news, boy, to be in
a car accident.

In our car!

Hey, Murray, give me another hamburger.

This is definitely a two -hamburger
story if I ever heard one.

You say this is a meaty story.

Let me ask you something.

If your uncle wrecked a car, Before you
got it, why didn't you just get your

money back?

I didn't know whether the car was
wrecked before I bought it.

Look, the only thing I knew was the
worst thing that ever happened to us,

Yeah.

This is the worst

thing that's ever happened to me. My
favorite Uncle Louie, my own flesh and

blood, and he's lying in there with
multiple confusions.

That sounds real bad, Vinnie. Did he say
where he was hit? In the arm.

Was his arm inside or outside of the car
when it was hit?

I don't know. I guess it was the door.
They said it was broken in two places.

The door?

No, his arm.

Oh, for a second there, I thought I lost
my window seat.

Hey, Vinnie, I don't want to sound
indelicate at a time like this,

Did your uncle happen to mention the
state and condition of the car?

Of course not. He was just in an
accident. Why would he do that?

Did he? I want you to take a wild guess
now, buddy.

What do you think your uncle was driving
in when he had the accident?

He was delivering a car that we just
bought.

He wrecked our car.

He wrecked...

All we know is that your uncle is
wrecked.

That's true, Vinnie. There are a lot of
accidents in which a person is seriously

injured and the car has but a scratch on
it.

Of course, those accidents usually
involve a pedestrian.

Wait here just a minute, and I'll check
with the doctors and see if the family's

allowed in yet. I'm not a family. I'm
his wife.

Aunt Josephine, please don't worry. I'm
sure Uncle Louis is going to be just

fine.

Oh, you are so nice to be here.

In my hour of need, you are a saint.

This is Horshack. Hi.

And that is Washington.

Hi, Mama Mia. And he's Epstein.

Hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this stupid
Uncle Louie went and wrecked our car.

Just hold on here.

Nice to meet you.

Now, look, don't worry, girls. You just
show up here at the hospital, and we'll

take care of everything.

You're going to break your mother's
heart to know it better.

Mrs. Barbarino. Yes? The doctor says you
can visit your husband just for a

minute. He's in room 110.

Wait a second.

Before you go in there, you've got to
find out some things for us, okay?

Anything. Anything.

You boys are so, so good to be so
considerate about his Uncle Louie. What

want to know? How bad was the car hit?
Will it still run? If not, can the back

seat be salvaged?

What did I tell you?

and crap's here. Yeah, we should be
shooting your Uncle Louie.

How could my Louie end up like this?

Oh, no. He died of a broken arm.

No, he's going to be fine.

It's what he's done that is so horrible.

I tell you, it is the will of God. The
man is being punished.

Uncle Louie did something to God?

Worse than that, your Uncle Louie's in
some shady business deal. You see?

mention it a little while.

Back off. This here is family stuff.

All right, all right. We're going to
back off. We're going to back off. But

my family ever starts some shady
business deal, see if I let you listen.

Why would Uncle Louie do that? It was so
bad.

This never would have happened if he
hadn't have bought her that wreck.

Oh, no. The car is wrecked, huh? The car
was a complete wreck when he bought it

in the junkyard for $25.

$25? Yeah, and he's going to try to sell
it for $150 to some sucker.

Poor suckers. But don't worry.

I did the right thing. Yeah, broke his
other arm.

No.

No. I got his wallet right here with the
$150 I got him this morning. And I'm

going to take it to the church and put
it in the poor box.

But you can't do that, Aunt Josephine.
But then, Chancey, these things are best

left in God's hands.

Yeah, but...

Maybe God is busy.

God is never too busy to take $150.

Well, you don't understand something
there, Joseph. That money is mine. I'm

sucker. He sold the poo.

Oh, Vinnie, Vinnie, you have such a
sweet mouth.

How can you say such lies about your
uncle?

They ain't lies there, Joseph. What did
I lie about my favorite uncle, Louie?

The guy who, when I was a little kid, he
took me to Coney Island.

He made me play stickball and bought me
my first mitt. What did I lie about my

favorite uncle?

I'm telling you, that rotten louse stole
my $150.

Just give me the money. It's no big
deal.

Vinnie, if this is your money, I want
you to have it.

Good, thank you. Not until your uncle
looks me in the eye and tells me with

own lips.

Okay, come on. Let's go find out. Good.

Mrs. Barbarino, you might as well go
home and get some sleep. We've just

your husband a sedative.

It's okay.

I'm sure Uncle Louie can't sleep with
all this stuff on his mind.

Why don't I go see if he's awake and you
stay here and wait for us to come back,

okay?

Okay,

you

guys know what to do, right?

Vinnie, I'm telling you, man, this ain't
gonna never work. She ain't gonna

believe this. Uncle Louie, do you want
your money back?

Of course. Then do it.

Hey, for 87 cents, I'll try anything.

All right, Epstein, Epstein, you know
what to do?

All right, good. Let's go.

Aunt Josephine. Oh, Louie, Louie, oh, my
Louie, my Louie, oh, my Louie.

Aunt Josephine, we've got to act quick
now, because he's under the influence of

a sleeping pill, and I've got to get him
to the intensive restroom.

Uncle Louie, tell her that it's my
money.

See, he said it was my money.

Vinnie Barbarino, what are you doing
with this patient?

I think he's got appendicitis.

I cannot believe it. Not until my Louie
looks me in the eye and tells me that

this is your money.

Tell her I'll...

Thank you, Uncle Louie.

Hey, we can stop this now. We got our
money back.

Oh, thank you. I feel so much better.
You have wonderful hands.

Hey, come on, you guys. We're going to
be late for the game.

Oh, we ain't going to be late, baby,
because we're ready to move any time.

Oh.

Aunt Josephine.

When you see Uncle Louie again, he's
going to be a different man.

So you see, it all turned out all right
anyway because we still got to keep the

date with the cheerleaders. Oh, yeah.

And may I say we also got our money
back, too.

And Uncle Louie turned out just fine.

This lunch has proven to be a most, most
educational experience.

Sure. Never buy nothing from a
Barbarino.

No. Never eat nothing from a Burgasar.

He'd say...

Welcome back.

Your dreams, will you tickle it out?

Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.

Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.

But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here

where we need ya. Back here.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah, we
tease him a lot. Welcome back.

Welcome back. Because we got him on the
spot.

Welcome back.

Welcome back.

Yeah, we tease him a lot. Because we got
him on the spot. Welcome back.