All language subtitles for Welcome Back Kotter s03e17 Meet Your New Teacher
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:03,180
My uncle, Magnanovich Cotter.
2
00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:08,039
Magnanovich? Yes, he was my uncle. One
time he reads there in the paper,
3
00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:12,200
construction workers wanted 150 miles
out of town. He goes there, gets the
4
00:00:12,540 --> 00:00:13,540
Weeklady Y is back.
5
00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:17,620
Sylvia, that's my aunt's name, Sylvia,
have gotten a job, and you know what?
6
00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:20,320
I've been promoted to foreman, a feather
in my cap.
7
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:21,980
Terrific, huh? Terrific.
8
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,260
But that's not over yet. Two weeks, Lady
Y.
9
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,500
Sylvia, have been promoted to manager,
another feather in my cap.
10
00:00:29,949 --> 00:00:30,949
Outstanding, right?
11
00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:34,930
Outstanding, but not over yet. Not over
yet, no. Three weeks later, he wires
12
00:00:34,930 --> 00:00:39,310
back, Sylvia, have made Vice President
another feather in my cap.
13
00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:41,770
He was doing great.
14
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:43,690
What a guy, wasn't he? What a guy.
15
00:00:44,050 --> 00:00:48,430
Except two weeks after that, he wires,
Sylvia, have been fired. Send money so I
16
00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:49,430
can take the train home.
17
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:53,310
Sylvia wires back, use all your feathers
and fly home.
18
00:01:05,450 --> 00:01:06,450
Welcome back.
19
00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:10,490
Your dreams were your ticket out.
20
00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:17,330
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
21
00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:21,790
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
22
00:01:22,570 --> 00:01:26,330
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
23
00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:32,170
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya? Who'd
have thought they'd lead ya? Back here
24
00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:34,410
where we need ya. Back here.
25
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:39,740
We need you. Yeah, we teased him a lot.
Because we got him on the spot.
26
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,140
Welcome back.
27
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:45,360
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome
back.
28
00:01:58,300 --> 00:02:01,720
Go on, Arnold. Go on, man. You can
handle it. Just deal with it. Mind over
29
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,400
matter. Go ahead. Bend that spoon. Go
ahead.
30
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:08,680
What?
31
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,420
I think you just shrunk my shorts.
32
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:14,640
Get bent.
33
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,020
Get bent.
34
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,200
Mind over matter.
35
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,620
Get bent.
36
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,400
There you go, Ronald.
37
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,820
Hey, that's even better.
38
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,240
Epstein over matter.
39
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,620
Donald, have you had some of my mother's
matzo ball soup?
40
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:53,300
Speaking about matzo balls, where's
Barbarino?
41
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,160
His family took him to Jersey.
42
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,820
Why? Was he being punished?
43
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,140
No, no, his cousin had an accident.
44
00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:02,379
Oh, wow.
45
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:03,319
In a car?
46
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,900
Well, I don't know, but Vinnie's going
to be the best man.
47
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,360
All right, enough about that.
48
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:13,610
Today I'd like to talk about pre
-Columbian exploration.
49
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:17,310
Now open your books and no
interruptions. I think we should...
50
00:03:17,310 --> 00:03:18,310
interrupt, Connor.
51
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:22,450
I have great news for you. What, your
pet scorpion had a litter?
52
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:26,110
Very funny, Connor.
53
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:29,890
Today is the day Buchanan enters the
computer age.
54
00:03:30,530 --> 00:03:33,670
Oh, that's right. Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a big surprise for you today.
55
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,290
Okay, you can bring it in.
56
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,360
Thank you, Mr. Schwartz.
57
00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:43,540
Careful.
58
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,200
Here it is.
59
00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:53,960
Greatest educational advance in 50
years.
60
00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:56,600
Does that thing get soul trained?
61
00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:01,520
Of course not.
62
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,980
It's a highly experimental computer
terminal loaned us by the university.
63
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:07,800
And you people should feel honored.
64
00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:11,550
The university searched for three months
to find exactly the right class to try
65
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:12,388
out this computer.
66
00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:15,190
And if it works here, we're going to
take it up a step and try it on some
67
00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:16,190
chimps.
68
00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:21,910
Settle down, settle down. You get no
bananas for lunch.
69
00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:28,670
Yes, you get no bananas for lunch or for
dinner today.
70
00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:32,330
You get scallions and onions and that's
enough of that. Okay.
71
00:04:33,530 --> 00:04:35,870
Now, this is what you call a terminal.
72
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,560
It is hooked up to a computer.
73
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,920
Now, in order to activate the computer,
I have to give it a message in code.
74
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,420
Oh, code.
75
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:49,160
Like, it's snowing in Berlin.
76
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:54,080
So move to Miami.
77
00:04:55,940 --> 00:05:00,540
No, the password that this computer is
supposed to recognize is Mr. Cotter.
78
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:01,800
Let's try it.
79
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:03,920
Turn it on.
80
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:09,580
Mr. P -P -E -R.
81
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,860
Mr. Cutter, you have been recognized.
82
00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:16,260
Oh, wow.
83
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:18,420
Oh, that's pretty cool. Wow.
84
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:21,160
How'd you do that without moving your
lips?
85
00:05:23,980 --> 00:05:25,860
It wasn't me, Epstein. That was the
computer.
86
00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:28,700
Well, drink a glass of water and see if
it talks then.
87
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,500
Okay, now watch. I'm going to program it
for data information.
88
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,140
What information do you require?
89
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:49,700
I got a question for the
90
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,500
computer. What, Arnold?
91
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,040
Can I go to the bathroom?
92
00:05:57,660 --> 00:06:02,620
Arnold, there are some questions a
computer can't handle. Now, do you
93
00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:03,620
have to go to the bathroom?
94
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,760
Well, not that I know of.
95
00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:07,320
But you never know.
96
00:06:07,690 --> 00:06:09,330
nature will ring its little bell.
97
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,730
All right. Now, today we're supposed to
learn about pre -Columbian exploration.
98
00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:16,630
Now, does anybody have a question on
that?
99
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,010
Yeah, me.
100
00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:20,050
Well, what is it?
101
00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:22,770
That's my question. What is it?
102
00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:24,970
Okay, let's find out.
103
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:26,610
American history.
104
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:31,230
Pre -Columbian exploration.
105
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,470
In 986.
106
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,840
The first Norse colony was established
on the coast of Greenland by Eric the
107
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,840
Red.
108
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,080
Eric the Red?
109
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:49,760
That's right, and that was 1 ,200 years
before James the Brown, Slappy the
110
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:50,860
White, and Shecky the Green.
111
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,220
Yeah, that's pretty good. Hey, let's
check it out. Let's see what that
112
00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:56,580
thinks about that, Mr. Cartier.
113
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,300
All right.
114
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,200
James the...
115
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,260
taking off for Omaha, Kansas City, and
Detroit.
116
00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:22,100
Open the hangar here. Come.
117
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,840
Good girl.
118
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,180
Good girl.
119
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,560
There you go.
120
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,960
Honey, Rachel's asleep.
121
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:33,180
How's Robin doing?
122
00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:38,980
She's going to be fine just as soon as
we land in Bombay. We're going all the
123
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:39,980
way to Bombay.
124
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:43,320
Bombay plane coming in. Bombay plane.
125
00:07:43,660 --> 00:07:45,960
Come on. What's the matter? You don't
like the movie? Come on.
126
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:48,600
Open up. One more. One more, Robin. One
more.
127
00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,740
That's great, honey. She usually hates
strained bananas.
128
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,300
That's how they got on the wall.
129
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,460
Well, they've done something with this.
Says new and improved.
130
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,500
Yeah, they probably left out the
bananas.
131
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,440
You know, it's great to see you spending
more time with the girls, honey.
132
00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,400
Usually now you're preparing tomorrow's
lesson.
133
00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:06,980
Come on, baby.
134
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:08,060
Come on, baby.
135
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:11,100
I don't have to do that now, honey. The
computer does that.
136
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,160
Oh? Well, what about grading papers?
137
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:16,200
The computer does that, too.
138
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:18,460
Marking tests?
139
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,140
Computer.
140
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:21,540
So who needs you?
141
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,120
I was hoping that you did.
142
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,940
Oh, well, that depends.
143
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:27,839
On what?
144
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,660
Depends on how tall the computer is.
145
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,200
Isn't your mommy a funny lady, Robin?
146
00:08:33,539 --> 00:08:37,100
Isn't she funny? Look, say, funny mommy.
Stick your tongue out. That's good.
147
00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:38,659
Say goodnight to your daddy.
148
00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:39,739
Come on.
149
00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:40,719
Goodnight, Robin.
150
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,299
Say goodnight to daddy.
151
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,600
Good night, Daddy.
152
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:45,820
Bye -bye. Good night, Daddy.
153
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,040
Bye -bye.
154
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,660
You know, honey, that computer's really
terrific.
155
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,700
The kids love it, and it makes my job a
lot easier.
156
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,420
But, uh, what do you do now?
157
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,340
What do I do now? Yeah. I turn on the
computer.
158
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,240
That's it?
159
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,520
No. At 12 o 'clock, I turn it off.
160
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,220
And at 1 o 'clock, I turn it back on
again.
161
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:13,140
Oh, that's just great, honey. It gives
you all sorts of free time to...
162
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:14,590
Fix things around here.
163
00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:17,070
Yeah, well, I'll be happy to fix
anything.
164
00:09:17,330 --> 00:09:19,930
You know, I can't remember the last time
I had so much free time.
165
00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:22,190
I can.
166
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:24,770
Really? What happened?
167
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:26,230
We had twins.
168
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:35,150
Major General Sir William Powell, Sir
Henry Clinton, and John McGowan arrived
169
00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:37,490
May 25th to assist days.
170
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,260
Hey, that machine, it's really pretty
smart.
171
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,579
Oh, yeah?
172
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,800
Well, my uncle's got something even
smarter than that.
173
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:45,780
Oh, what's it called?
174
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:47,440
My aunt.
175
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,440
Did you guys know that Gage was the
first now? Come on, they're wrecking the
176
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:58,319
recording here.
177
00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,320
Be cool, baby.
178
00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:05,760
Oh, incredible strategy.
179
00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:13,660
I mean,
180
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,940
what's the big deal about all this
stuff? I taught this to you two months
181
00:10:19,540 --> 00:10:22,720
Mr. Carter, this is a key.
182
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,460
Now, don't you got nothing to do? Can't
you see we're busy here learning?
183
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,780
Yeah. I got plenty to do. There's over
300 ways to play solitaire.
184
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,540
Solitaire cutter?
185
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:45,640
You run out of play dough?
186
00:11:17,550 --> 00:11:19,710
And tomorrow we're going to let you
color a horsey.
187
00:11:22,010 --> 00:11:27,010
I am trying to tell you nerds that the
grades of everyone in this room have
188
00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:29,010
up dramatically. Do you know what it
means?
189
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,690
Yeah, it means you're in the wrong room.
190
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:38,590
It means I'm going to look great. It was
all my idea. They'll definitely make me
191
00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:40,130
principal. Oh, yeah?
192
00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:43,310
Well, what about Principal Lazarus?
193
00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:45,990
He's an old guy.
194
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:48,980
You see that, Mr. Warren?
195
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,399
You're right.
196
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,840
By bringing this computer in here, you
did a great thing.
197
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,900
Your averages are over 75.
198
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:58,140
Congratulations.
199
00:11:58,380 --> 00:11:59,380
You're a genius.
200
00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:00,940
You're a genius.
201
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,260
Face it, Carter.
202
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:05,460
You're out of date.
203
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,180
You're a DeSoto in a world of Datsuns.
204
00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:26,770
was garrison by 1 ,600 men with six...
Sally, Sally, Sally,
205
00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:29,830
Sally, Sally, Sally, Sally. Just a
second, Oliver.
206
00:12:30,690 --> 00:12:34,590
You know, honey, you should not be so
upset about that computer. It's only
207
00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:38,330
temporary. Yeah, that's what Woodrow
Wilson said about income tax.
208
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:41,350
You know what bothers me the most,
honey?
209
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:44,090
Teaching just isn't fun anymore.
210
00:12:44,660 --> 00:12:47,680
Well, that's because you are letting the
computer program you.
211
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,960
You are the one that's supposed to push
the button.
212
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,300
I can't help it.
213
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:53,260
Where's the salad dressing?
214
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,640
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot, honey. What
kind do you want? Any kind. Doesn't
215
00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:00,280
I can't help it. I feel like the
computer's the meat and I'm the
216
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,280
helper.
217
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,500
Oh, gee.
218
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,540
I'm sorry, honey. I don't like this
kind.
219
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,720
Well, what kind do you want, honey?
220
00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:14,609
Any kind.
221
00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:15,770
Besides this.
222
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:24,650
I'm sorry. You know I... I know, honey.
It's okay. Don't worry about it.
223
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:26,890
There you go, sweetie.
224
00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:35,530
Not on your life.
225
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:40,070
It'll be fine. It'll be fine. I always
like dressing as four months old.
226
00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:42,650
Two.
227
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:47,320
Look, honey, it's only a toy. The kids
will get bored with it. I think they are
228
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,140
getting tired of it. This afternoon I
caught Washington trying to make it play
229
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:51,140
pong.
230
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,720
Kidding.
231
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,740
Kidding? I am not programmed for
kidding.
232
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,940
I am only programmed for joshing.
233
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:03,820
Joshing. Did I ever tell you about my
Uncle Josh?
234
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,900
He was a Model 324X Zero.
235
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,060
One time this pretty computer program
trainee came in and started to punch his
236
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:14,780
buttons. He said, hey, wait a second.
Take me out a few times first.
237
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:20,280
All
238
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:30,200
right,
239
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:31,600
Freddy, the truth.
240
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,920
I think you're bluffing. Oh, yeah?
241
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,460
Go fish.
242
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,100
Morning.
243
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:47,900
Excuse me for interrupting, but isn't
anybody listening to the computer?
244
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,040
No.
245
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:51,680
Sit down.
246
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,680
Epstein, what's the computer been
talking about?
247
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,360
Paul Revere's ride.
248
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,280
That's amazing. You can hear things when
you're sleeping.
249
00:15:09,370 --> 00:15:10,650
What do you think put me to sleep?
250
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:13,830
Mr.
251
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:17,390
Carter, for now, that thing's been doing
nothing but talking about Paul Revere's
252
00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:19,650
ride. I mean, what's the big deal?
253
00:15:20,130 --> 00:15:22,130
It's just a story about a man and his
horse.
254
00:15:23,310 --> 00:15:24,910
Actually, do you know that there were
two men?
255
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,070
William Dawes rode along with Paul
Revere?
256
00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:29,230
Gee, that's really cheap.
257
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:32,930
Two men on a horse.
258
00:15:35,490 --> 00:15:36,890
Um, Mr. Carter, I...
259
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,070
I didn't know that Paul Revere had a
partner.
260
00:15:39,450 --> 00:15:41,130
Well, not too many people do, Freddy.
261
00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:45,110
You see, William Dawes was like a
regular guy. He wasn't a show -off. So
262
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,850
they rode into town, he said, go ahead,
Paul, you tell them.
263
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:54,450
Anyway, I think it's important that you
learn about William Dawes because
264
00:15:54,450 --> 00:16:01,210
there's a lot of people in history that
don't... I
265
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,210
thought so, Cutter.
266
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:04,110
Back to your old tricks.
267
00:16:04,550 --> 00:16:05,550
Teach him.
268
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,620
Mr. Woodman, I think the guys are
getting a little tired of this computer.
269
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000
Nonsense.
270
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:23,500
They love it.
271
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,080
Machines aren't boring. People are
boring.
272
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,240
Good afternoon, everybody, and welcome
to our new show, People Are Boring.
273
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,260
going to spoil my day because I have
great news.
274
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:53,880
Oh?
275
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,160
You ran over Benji?
276
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,440
Better.
277
00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:06,640
The university has offered us the
computer for the rest of the semester.
278
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:11,180
All right, all right, all right. Cork
it, clowns.
279
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,480
Mr. Jan of the school board is coming by
tomorrow to decide.
280
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:20,440
This machine is my ticket to the top.
281
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:22,960
And nothing better go wrong.
282
00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:27,400
What could go wrong?
283
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,740
That's the same thing General Keston
said the night before Little Bighorn.
284
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,780
Think that'll do it, Freddy?
285
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,320
Are you kidding?
286
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,140
You worked on Mission Impossible.
287
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,400
Hey,
288
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:45,860
they're coming, they're coming.
289
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,300
You all know...
290
00:17:49,870 --> 00:17:53,370
Good morning, good morning, everybody.
You all remember Mr. Jan from the school
291
00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:55,250
board? Hello, Mr.
292
00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:57,210
Jan from the school board.
293
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:05,390
I was just telling Mr. Jan that only
last week this class was stupid.
294
00:18:07,530 --> 00:18:08,770
Thanks a lot, Mr. Woodman.
295
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:14,350
Mr. Carter, as you know, we have the
opportunity to use this machine for
296
00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:15,350
semester.
297
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,520
Well, Mr. Carter, I'd like to see a
demonstration.
298
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:25,880
Before I do that, I would like to say I
think this machine can help as an aid.
299
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:29,080
But what's happening here is the
machine... Cut it, Carter. Turn it on.
300
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:35,840
chop. No offense, but... Hey, Mr.
301
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,740
Carter, maybe you ought not turn it on.
302
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,100
It's okay. Good. Turn it on, Carter.
303
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,920
It's okay. Go ahead. Turn it on. Go
ahead.
304
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:48,790
particular subject?
305
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:50,910
How about the Battle of Waterloo?
306
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,690
Okay. European history.
307
00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:59,450
Battle of... Waterloo.
308
00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:02,230
Wait till you hear this.
309
00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:06,030
The Battle of Waterloo was fought in
1850.
310
00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:11,270
The Duke of Wellington commanded the
Allied forces, which included England,
311
00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:14,050
Austria, Prussia, and the Harlem
Globetrotters.
312
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:15,290
What?
313
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,780
forces to fight the armies of Napoleon,
Julie Andrews, and the Muppets.
314
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,720
Mr.
315
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,520
Woodman, you better have an explanation
for this.
316
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:34,740
I do.
317
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:35,940
He did it.
318
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,140
Him and his punks, they ruined my
machine.
319
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,900
You can't prove nothing.
320
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,520
Mr. Jan, I'm afraid Mr. Woodman is
probably right.
321
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,380
But you have to understand why they did
it.
322
00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:56,120
He made them think that their teacher
was being replaced by a machine.
323
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:57,820
I had a dream.
324
00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:03,960
Look, like I was trying to say before,
this machine is valuable.
325
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:09,260
It should be used by a teacher, not
instead of a teacher. I agree, Mr.
326
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,440
However, we may find a better place for
this computer.
327
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:16,590
Say... In administration.
328
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,150
Mr. Jan! Mr. Jan, wait!
329
00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:25,350
I'll be back, Potter, as soon as I have
my spasm.
330
00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:27,030
Mr. Jan!
331
00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:35,810
Why did you do it?
332
00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:41,110
Hey, look, Mr. Cartier, we had to do
something. I mean, one more week with
333
00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:44,790
computer machine, man, we would have got
a diploma in sleeping.
334
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:48,720
Washington, that machine belongs to the
university.
335
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,740
Now, you guys had no right to tamper
with it. Come on, come on, Mr. Carter,
336
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:53,499
was a crisis.
337
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,820
We was desperate people in a desperate
hour.
338
00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:59,020
I mean, just like Paul Revere and Mr.
Dawes. Yeah.
339
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,120
Don't make any analogies here, Epstein.
You were wrong, and that's that.
340
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,920
Okay, okay, Mr. Carter, we was wrong.
341
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:07,960
Okay, sit down.
342
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,300
Now. We'll get back to teaching the way
it's supposed to be. One human to
343
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:18,300
another human.
344
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,980
On June 26, 1783, William G.
345
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,560
One night,
346
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:35,560
my
347
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:42,260
aunt, Marion, then my uncle Bill out at
348
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:43,260
three o 'clock.
349
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:49,540
in the morning for a pizza.
350
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,620
To get a pizza.
351
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:59,180
It was anchovies.
352
00:21:59,540 --> 00:22:01,120
With anchovies.
353
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:08,640
The pizza man said, hey, Bill, it's
snowing and raining
354
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,640
outside.
355
00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:13,340
Why did you come to get a pizza?
356
00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:15,800
Why did you come to get a pizza?
357
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:22,100
My uncle Bill said, it wasn't me, my
wife sent me out.
358
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,140
My wife sent me out.
359
00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:31,740
The pizza man said, your wife sent you
out 3 o 'clock in the morning to get
360
00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:32,740
a pizza?
361
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,040
To get a pizza.
362
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:41,920
My uncle Bill said, do you think my
mother would send me out on a night like
363
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:42,920
this?
364
00:22:43,219 --> 00:22:44,480
What, I'm not like this?
365
00:23:16,010 --> 00:23:17,370
Welcome back.
366
00:23:18,370 --> 00:23:21,510
Your dreams were your ticket out.
367
00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:28,430
Welcome back to that same old place that
you laughed about.
368
00:23:29,210 --> 00:23:32,910
Well, the names have all changed since
you hung around.
369
00:23:33,530 --> 00:23:37,410
But those dreams have remained and
they've turned around.
370
00:23:38,490 --> 00:23:40,570
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya?
371
00:23:41,910 --> 00:23:44,810
Back here where we need ya.
372
00:23:50,399 --> 00:23:52,320
Welcome back.
373
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,080
Welcome back.
374
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,560
Welcome back.
375
00:23:56,900 --> 00:24:00,700
Welcome back. Welcome back.
376
00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:05,080
We always could spot a friend.
377
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,340
Welcome back.
378
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:12,100
And I smile when I think how we must
have been.
379
00:24:13,130 --> 00:24:16,710
And I know what a scene you were
learning in.
380
00:24:17,210 --> 00:24:20,990
Was there something that made me come
back again?
27249
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.