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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,520 Mr. Carter, I'm really worried. 2 00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:15,280 Horshack's been gone for two days now. I don't know where he is. 3 00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,320 Yeah, that's right, Mr. Carter. 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,260 I mean, Arnold, he ain't never been absent. 5 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:21,639 I know. 6 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:22,640 I'm worried, too. 7 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,640 I think he must have a problem in his personal life. 8 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,560 Ah, come on, Mr. Carter. 9 00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:30,580 You know Arnold ain't got no personal life. 10 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:33,960 Hey, 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,980 Mr. 12 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,640 Carter. 13 00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:42,800 How do you become a father? 14 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,680 Father? Well, you got to meet a girl that you like, and then you, well, you 15 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:56,040 of... I don't have to start a family. 16 00:00:56,500 --> 00:01:02,640 I've already got one. You see, my mother's fifth husband, Mr. O 'Hara, 17 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,619 other day. 18 00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:04,900 Just like that. 19 00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:09,870 Sitting in his taxi in the middle of a traffic jam on the Long Island 20 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:16,570 Expressway, the man fell on his horn, gave one final 21 00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:22,790 toot, and went to that great white taxi stand in the sky. 22 00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:25,850 Sorry, Arnold. 23 00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:28,370 I know how it feels to lose a loved one. 24 00:01:29,470 --> 00:01:34,750 Hey, Arnold, you remember, if you need anything at all, I mean anything at all, 25 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,540 You can count on me. 26 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,340 Freddy. Can do. 27 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:40,920 Washington. 28 00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,380 Yeah. Hey, Arnold. 29 00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:48,380 Arnold. 30 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,500 It's gonna be okay, buddy, you know. 31 00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:52,900 Hey. 32 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,440 You got friends here. 33 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,240 Oh, little one. 34 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:17,760 What do I know about being a father? Well, see, Mr. Carter, it's like this 35 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,960 came to me, and it said, Arnold! 36 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000 Arnold! 37 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,240 It's time to grow up! 38 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:31,760 And I said, can I ask Mr. Carter first? 39 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:35,900 And the voice said, it couldn't hurt! 40 00:02:37,420 --> 00:02:40,560 So I'm asking, Mr. 41 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:41,800 Carter, 42 00:02:42,149 --> 00:02:43,790 Is it time for me to grow up? 43 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,830 Arnold, I think you already have. 44 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,240 Welcome back. 45 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,400 Your dreams were your ticket out. 46 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:25,300 Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about. 47 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,740 Well, the names have all changed since you hung around. 48 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,280 But those dreams have remained and they've turned around. 49 00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:40,020 Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Who'd have thought they'd need ya? We're here 50 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,660 where we need ya. 51 00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:49,030 Yeah, we tease him a lot, cause we got him on the spot. Welcome back. 52 00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:53,350 Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. 53 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:13,409 Hey, Mom. 54 00:04:13,410 --> 00:04:14,410 Hiya, Arnold. 55 00:04:14,810 --> 00:04:15,589 Don't look. 56 00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:16,810 It'll spoil your appetite. 57 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,050 Too late. 58 00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:22,930 Hey, Mom. 59 00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:27,970 Being your eldest son, I think the time has come for you and I to have a talk. 60 00:04:28,190 --> 00:04:29,670 Fine. First at the table. 61 00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,410 Guess who followed me home again? 62 00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:38,710 No, no, Bloomberg. He's right outside that door. Somebody please get rid of 63 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,450 I'll boil some water. 64 00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:43,859 take care of this. 65 00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:45,240 Now, look here, fella. 66 00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:48,000 I'm Judy's big bro. Hello, Ronald. 67 00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:55,240 So, what say you come over on Saturday? 68 00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:58,780 Come early. Plan to spend the whole day. 69 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,200 Listen, Arnold, I'm planning a headache on Saturday so you can go out with him. 70 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,630 You know, Judy, sometimes you are such a Such a nudge. 71 00:05:13,090 --> 00:05:17,690 You don't see your little sister giving me such aggravation, do you? No, sirree. 72 00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,570 She's sitting there on the floor crying. 73 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,030 Crying. 74 00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:26,110 Doris. 75 00:05:26,890 --> 00:05:29,170 Hey. Hey, Doris. 76 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:30,730 Don't cry. 77 00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:32,450 Your wedding... 78 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:40,880 feel bad about Mr. 79 00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:43,380 O 'Hara, but people die. 80 00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:47,020 Accepting that is part of growing up. 81 00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:48,920 Well, I don't feel bad about him, Arnold. 82 00:05:49,620 --> 00:05:50,900 We've had better fathers. 83 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,060 So, what's wrong? 84 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,400 Arnold, remember that story you told me about how the ugly duckling turned into 85 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,440 a swan? Well, 86 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:04,160 it ain't working. 87 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,400 Laura Swan, so will everybody else. 88 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:22,820 Arnold, do you really... 89 00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:18,510 Something I'd like to talk about. Ma, what are these lumpy things? 90 00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:19,730 Gravy. 91 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:24,370 Listen, everybody, there's something I would like to discuss here. 92 00:07:24,670 --> 00:07:27,210 Well, I ain't eating these mashed potatoes. Not me, boy. 93 00:07:57,870 --> 00:07:58,870 Clam up. 94 00:07:59,050 --> 00:08:01,410 But you just never listen to me. 95 00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:03,010 You should. 96 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,490 I might have something to say. 97 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:08,270 Do you understand? 98 00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:09,930 Yeah. 99 00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,850 You said clam up to your mother. 100 00:08:19,870 --> 00:08:26,610 Not even Manny's father, the crumb, ever said clam 101 00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:27,850 up. Up to your mother. 102 00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:33,710 My father wasn't the crumb. Judy's father was the crumb. He was not. Of 103 00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,549 not. Mr. Lutz was a very nice man. 104 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:40,950 Mom, my father was Mr. Lutz. My father was Mr. Templeton. Okay, so I'm not so 105 00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:42,250 terrific at names, okay? 106 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:48,630 You are not exactly a wizard selecting men, either. 107 00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:08,050 for me. 108 00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:14,990 You think I enjoy hauling that cocktail dress out of the mothballs? 109 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,910 Mothballs? That's what we're eating, the lumpy things, the mothballs. 110 00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:25,370 Nobody's going to give me the kind of job that will support this family. I've 111 00:09:25,370 --> 00:09:27,190 got to find another husband. 112 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:51,020 You should meet somebody that you really and truly love. 113 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,240 Who would be more delighted than I? 114 00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:58,620 But, Ma, you do not have to go out and get married again to find somebody to 115 00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:03,740 take care of us. Because from now on, Ma, I will. 116 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,920 Cocktail dress needs taking up. 117 00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:33,180 Or letting down. 118 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:35,980 Or throwing out. 119 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,480 Ma, ma, ma! 120 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,840 You're not listening. 121 00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:43,740 Hold it! 122 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:45,880 Everybody finish eating! 123 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,540 You done, you done, you done. 124 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:55,220 Well, I ain't gonna eat my mashed potato's brillo head. 125 00:10:57,540 --> 00:11:00,420 Eat. Your mashed potatoes. 126 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,340 Make me horse face. 127 00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,480 Your wish is my command. 128 00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:21,520 I'll get you through this, Arnold. 129 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:25,040 It might be years from now. 130 00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,900 I might be the sky. 131 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,180 Just remember, when you least expect it, expect it. 132 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,780 Go ahead, Arnold. 133 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:47,740 Take over the family. 134 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:49,920 It's okay by me. 135 00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:53,320 Just don't tell me what to do. 136 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,540 I think you can do it, Arnold. 137 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,600 Honest? No. 138 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,080 There is something about me that people do not take seriously. 139 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,940 Maybe it's my voice. 140 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:16,920 Nah. 141 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:20,420 It used to be my voice. 142 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,600 Before it changed. 143 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,020 Maybe it's my laugh. 144 00:12:32,650 --> 00:12:38,790 good laugh to me i 145 00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:44,990 was 146 00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:51,210 just practicing what for you do it perfect hey uh listen i heard about 147 00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:56,690 number five kicking off i'm sorry i guess you grow up when you have to huh 148 00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:07,530 Hey, you know, I checked the want ads this morning. The one thing that nobody 149 00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:08,830 wants is me. 150 00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,350 So you'll become independently wealthy. 151 00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:14,710 You got any rich relatives? 152 00:13:15,010 --> 00:13:16,150 I don't got any relatives. 153 00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:19,710 Except for... Nah. 154 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,250 Nah? Nah who? 155 00:13:22,650 --> 00:13:27,090 Nah who is my Uncle Harry Horshack. Oh, he used to have this terrific costume 156 00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,330 store on DeKalb Avenue. 157 00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:30,430 Horshack's Costume City. 158 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:46,350 I haven't seen my uncle Harry in 15 years. 159 00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:48,770 I wonder if he still remembers me. 160 00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:53,050 Arnold, believe me, you're hard to forget. 161 00:13:58,890 --> 00:14:01,730 You know, it's really easy talking with you, Goldie. 162 00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:08,110 You may not believe this, but I get very tongue -tied around most girls. 163 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,000 I didn't know you. 164 00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,060 You're different. 165 00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:17,140 Thank you, Arnold. 166 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:18,760 That were you. 167 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,920 Arnold, Arnold, are you up there? You're up here, Ma. 168 00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:45,250 Eyelashes? Ma, you haven't worn your fourth eyelashes since your last 169 00:14:45,770 --> 00:14:49,070 Yeah, I'm going with my friend Wanda over to the bowling alley. 170 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,930 Ma, who's in that bowl? 171 00:14:54,350 --> 00:14:55,350 Arnold. 172 00:14:56,070 --> 00:15:00,990 Father number six might be bowling lane number seven. 173 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,620 Your mother is a very strange lady. 174 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,640 Yeah. 175 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,300 Well, look, I'd better go see about that job, Goldie, before Cinderella meets 176 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,560 Prince Charming. 177 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,720 Well, wish me luck, Goldie. Good luck, Arnold. Arnold Horsack! 178 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,220 Can't get out of here! 179 00:15:41,780 --> 00:15:42,780 Oh. 180 00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:48,420 This... To some swanky store. 181 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,980 My Uncle Harry must be doing real good. 182 00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:53,260 Oh, I'm sorry. 183 00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:55,520 May I help you? 184 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,480 Hello? 185 00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,140 How are you? 186 00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,540 I'm Arnold Horschak. 187 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,320 Harry Horschak's nephew. 188 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,720 There's no H. 189 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,580 Harry Horschak. 190 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,520 President of Horschak's of Fifth Avenue. 191 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,080 And Mr. Horschak doesn't see anyone without an appointment. 192 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,640 Oh. 193 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:17,780 Thank you. 194 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,220 Oh, look at that. 195 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,180 Pretty. 196 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,880 I'm terribly sorry, H .O. 197 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,319 It's not that easy to get a job. Come here. Let me show you something. 198 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,560 Look out that window, Arthur. 199 00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:12,079 Arnold. 200 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,140 See all those little people down there on Fifth Avenue? 201 00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:16,540 Uh -huh. 202 00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:19,640 I stepped on all of those people to get up here. 203 00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:24,180 Wouldn't it have been easier to take an elevator? 204 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:27,800 You're a nice kid. 205 00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:30,580 The nice kids finish last. 206 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,280 This kid's a winner. 207 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,600 I'm a shark. 208 00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:41,540 I'm one of the sharks of this world that devour people like you, Otto. 209 00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:45,620 Arnold. 210 00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:47,920 My name is Arnold. 211 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:52,820 Arnold Horschak. I pronounce the H, Mr. Horschak. 212 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:58,580 I'm very proud of my name. Horschak is a very old and respected name. 213 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,320 It means the cattle are dying. 214 00:18:09,570 --> 00:18:12,330 Horshack's Costume City on DeKalb Avenue in Brooklyn? 215 00:18:13,390 --> 00:18:17,230 Leonard. Yes, sir? Would you go spy on somebody for me, please? Whatever you 216 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,230 say. 217 00:18:20,170 --> 00:18:21,170 Arnold. 218 00:18:22,630 --> 00:18:26,430 There never was a Horshack's Costume City on DeKalb Avenue. 219 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:29,930 Never. Oh, sure there was, Uncle Harry. 220 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,150 Don't you remember the last time I saw you? 221 00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:36,310 Oh, you was dressed in a chicken suit. 222 00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:47,740 If you can forget that you ever saw me dressed in a chicken suit, you've got a 223 00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:48,740 job. 224 00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:50,740 Oh, thank you. 225 00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:56,360 Arnold, you remind me of me when I was a young man. 226 00:18:57,100 --> 00:19:00,500 If you ever tell that to anybody, I'm going to rip your heart out. 227 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,190 Hey, Ma, I got a job. 228 00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:24,330 I got to the bowling alley. 229 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,350 I met a farmer named Augie Farnsworth. 230 00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:35,050 He might be a lousy date, but he could make a wonderful father. 231 00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:05,650 section of Brooklyn. 232 00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:09,750 Now you listen to me, young lady. One more word out of you and you're going to 233 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,350 bed without any supper. We already had supper. 234 00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:15,770 Then you'll never have it again. 235 00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:26,970 Come on, you guys. 236 00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:28,870 What do you say we give the kid a break? 237 00:20:29,930 --> 00:20:30,930 Okay. 238 00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:34,370 Arnold, I think we can do a little business. 239 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,720 I'll give you a shot at this man -of -the -house trip if you promise to stop 240 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:40,720 tucking me in at night. 241 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,820 Can I keep on saying goodnight, little buckaroo? 242 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,700 You got a deal. 243 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,620 Oh, thank you, Manny. 244 00:20:54,880 --> 00:21:00,060 Hey, listen, you guys. I know I'm not the only one growing up here. 245 00:21:00,380 --> 00:21:01,740 We're all growing up. 246 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,600 Except for Ma, of course. 247 00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:10,050 asking for your help. 248 00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:12,650 Please. 249 00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:14,630 Oh, Arnold. 250 00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:17,890 Thank you, Judy. 251 00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:19,770 Hey, Ma, did you hear? 252 00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:21,590 Arnold got a job today. 253 00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,890 Yeah. Yeah, with my Uncle Harry Horshack. 254 00:21:26,470 --> 00:21:28,350 Harry Horshack. 255 00:21:28,850 --> 00:21:30,970 Harry Horshack. 256 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:37,130 If that man had had his way, I never would have married your father. 257 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:40,160 Because your mother's got a talent for making things work. 258 00:22:45,540 --> 00:22:46,960 You don't, Ma. 259 00:22:49,020 --> 00:22:51,140 You really don't. 260 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,460 Hey, Arnold, you expecting it? Expecting what? 261 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,140 Arnold, you're back, huh? Yeah. 262 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,880 I didn't see your uncle fire you. 263 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:17,600 Oh, contraire, little friend. 264 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:23,120 You are gazing upon a lurking sweat hog. All right. 265 00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:28,040 Hey, you know, Arnold, you getting a job could mean suspension from the sweat 266 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,240 hogs. It's only part -time. 267 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:35,040 My uncle Harry is going to teach me everything he knows about the business 268 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,460 world. I'm going to be a shark. 269 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,200 Hey, Arnold. 270 00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:45,550 I don't quite picture you as a shark. You know, I sort of look on you as a 271 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:46,550 guppy. 272 00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:49,430 Hey, oh, hey. 273 00:23:50,050 --> 00:23:51,050 Welcome back. 274 00:23:51,850 --> 00:23:53,330 Classroom hasn't been the same without you. 275 00:23:53,830 --> 00:23:55,030 Thank you, Mr. Carter. 276 00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:57,510 You know, I never thought I'd miss... Well, 277 00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:01,950 now that you're here, business as usual. 278 00:24:02,270 --> 00:24:05,090 Everything's back to normal. Well, not quite normal, Mr. Carter. 279 00:24:05,550 --> 00:24:08,630 I got a part -time job working in my Uncle Harry's store. 280 00:24:09,270 --> 00:24:10,530 You're working for your uncle? Yeah. 281 00:24:10,910 --> 00:24:12,590 Did I ever tell you about the time I was working for my uncle? 282 00:24:12,890 --> 00:24:13,890 Welcome back. 283 00:24:32,990 --> 00:24:35,750 Your dreams were your ticket out. 284 00:24:37,130 --> 00:24:38,130 Welcome back. 285 00:24:38,990 --> 00:24:42,670 To that same old place that you laughed about. 286 00:24:43,570 --> 00:24:47,170 Well, the names have all changed since you hung around. 287 00:24:47,910 --> 00:24:51,650 But those dreams have remained and they've turned around. 288 00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:54,810 Who'd have thought they'd need ya? 289 00:24:55,030 --> 00:25:00,370 Who'd have thought they'd need ya? Back here where we need ya. Back here where 290 00:25:00,370 --> 00:25:06,330 we need ya. We tease him a lot. Cause we got him on the spot. Welcome back. 291 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:13,720 Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back Welcome back, welcome back 20185