All language subtitles for Under the Rainbow (1981) DVDRip

d Pardon me, above d

d Can you spare me a dime d

d I'm a little short-changed d

d Otherwise, I'm fine d

d Times are gettin' better d

d Things are goin' my way d

d But I can use
a cup of jive-a-Jack d

d To start my day d

d Things are lookin' up today d

d How could they
be any other way d

d How am I flyin' d

d I'm flyin' high d

d Ah, this little guy
ain't no small fry d

d Gonna pack my bags d

d Gonna grab a half a pint d

d And I'll be in California d

d By Saturday night d

d Life's a bowl of cherries d

d If you throw away the pits d

d And a bowl of duck soup d

d Is just two bits d

d Things are lookin' up today d

d How could they
be any other way d

d How am I flyin' d

d I'm flyin' high d

d Ah, this little guy
ain't no small fry d

d So, you better quit
your jivin' Jack d

d And get off your tail d

d Hit the yellow brick road d

d Or hit the rails d

d Follow that rainbow d

d Follow the star d

d 'Cause the bigger the dream d

d The bigger you are d

d I said, the bigger the dream d

d The bigger you are d

'Time to switch to our
coast-to-coast network'

'for the President's address.'

'In today's headlines.
Hitler's army continues'

'it's relentless
invasion of Austria.'

'But the US stock
market continues'

'to cover inspite of..'

Did my reply from
Hollywood come yet?

Nope. I told you, they don't
cast movies by mail.

Face it, little fellow,
your dreams are just too big.

Well, lemme tell
you something, Delbert.

And I want you to remember
where you heard it.

There's no dream too big.

And no dreamer too small.

Readin' them
books again, huh?

'Ladies and gentleman, President
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.'

Good, just in time.

'Friends and fellow Americans'

'again this week,
I have wonderful news'

'about our economic recovery.'

'But first, I'm compelled
to contrast'

'our peace and happiness.'

'With very different
scenes being enacted'

'in the other parts
of the world.'

'Without the..'

- Come on, somebody fix that.
- That's perfect.

Hell, I'll fix it.
It's just the serial again.

You takin' the freight
today, Rollo?

Either that or
I'll mail myself west.

Hey, what are you doin'?

Looks like
the wind came up, Timmy.

And blew the sign down
and took the aerial with it.

- I'll get a ladder, put it up.
- Don't bother.

The President is already on
and I wanna hear him.

Careful, half pint.

'Now, you're getting it.'

'Yo, Rollo, look at here.'

Hey, half pint.
That's great.

Whatever you're doin'
just keep it up.

'...bombs that they have.'

'The persistent reign of terror,
and international laws'

'convince us now, each to stay
in our very foundation'

'of civilization
are threatened.'

Achtung!

- Heil, Hitler!
- Seig Heil!

Heil, Otto?
Did Lafty explain your mission?

The map of the American defenses

will be passed to
a Japanese secret agent.

'You will rendezvous with
this agent in California.'

Uh-uh, one question,
Mein Fuhrer.

Ya vol.

Uh, how will I know him?

He will greet you
with this password.

"The Pearl Is In The River."

"The Pearl Is In The River."

Perfect.

'You will look for a Japanese
man in a white suit.'

How will he know me?

He will look for
a man your size.

Good, I will not fail,
Mein Fuhrer!

With our Japanese
allies preparing for attack

the whole world
will soon be ours!

- Heil, Hitler.
- Seig Hail.

'Hey big fella, you're
going the wrong way.'

Thank you.

I'm sorry, sir. But you'll have
to meet your party on the dock.

Oh, no. I'm looking
for an inspector Roy Collins.

He's with the Duke
and Duchess of Luchow.

I'm Collins,
Scotland yard.

'Well, come along. The Duke and
Duchess are waiting for you.'

- 'Fine, I'll follow you, sir.'
- 'I knew your father.'

Excuse me, sir. Would you mind
waiting on the dock side?

Well, the Duke and Duchess
have driven me bloody bats.

I thought this would be
a holiday, it seems I was wrong.

What's wrong with them?

Well, the Duke thinks
everyone is an assassin.

Won't go out of the house
without some lunatic disguise.

The old girl simply won't
wear her glasses.

And without them,
she's practically blind.

And to top it all off,
I got Streudel.

Inspector, inspector, I think
you're...a little melodramatic

when it gets to pastry.

No, Streudel!
This rotten little dog

that the Duchess
positively pampers.

But you won't have
any trouble.

After you.

'Tata.'

Duke, Ferdinand of Luchow?

I'm Bruce Thorpe,
Special Agent

from the United States
Secret Service, sir.

Ah, we were expecting you,
Mr. Thorpe.

Ah, good. As you know,
I've been assigned

to escort you across this
great nation of ours.

Yes, may I present
the Duchess of Luchow.

- So nice to see you.
- How do you do, your Highness.

Oh, is that your little dog?

Ha ha, oh, no, ma'am,
I believe it's yours.

My Streudel?

Oh, oh, ha ha,
how silly.

We're happy to have you
with us.

The Duke has been
very apprehensive

'ever since
we left exile.'

'Are you experienced
in security?'

'I've been very well
trained, sir.'

'President Roosevelt,
himself told me'

'we have the best Secret Service
School within the country.'

'You are well armed?'

Your majesties, if I may?

- Oh!
- Oh, don't fret, my dear.

A-a-ah.

It is the only
the Steward, darling.

Relax, sir. You're in America.
Who'd want to assassinate you?

Steward, pack these bags up

get them to
Grand Central Station.

- Are you alright?
- Yes.

'Get them to
Grand Central Station.

'And put them on the
Twentieth Century Limited.'

'Rooms D, E and F.'

'A-a-h!'

So, what do you think?

Isn't it great? You like it?

It's amazing. It looks
just like the sketches.

'Through the camera,
it looks like a real mansion.'

Special effects
cost me $5000.

Probably save me a hundred.

- Thanks a lot!
- Great!

Gonna be a fine film!

'We're starting
a new picture next week.'

'And I'm anticipating
a few small problems.'

'Annie, you're perfect for it.'

I'm making you Special
Talent Coordinator...on this.

- "The Wizard Of Oz."
- "The Wizard Of Oz?"

But that's already been cast.

Now, you're not listening.

I said, Special
Talent Coordinator!

Oh, what's a...
Special Talent Coordinator?

Honey, this weekend,
I'm bringing in a 150

special extras
from all over the world.

The biggest bunch of them
is gonna arrive by train.

This Sunday.

Now, some of them
have to be ready

to work first thing,
Monday morning.

So, you'd probably have
to stay up all night

to get them through make up,
hair and wardrobe.

If I have to work all night, I'm
not sure I want this promotion.

Hey, you do
this thing for me

and you're going to get
that raise I promised you.

- You promise?
- Of course.

Oh, and I need a dog.

- A dog?
- A funny dog.

- Oh, Louie, Louie, Louie--
- What you worried about?

I'm confident that you and your
staff are gonna handle this.

My staff?

Oh, yeah. I'm assigning
Homer, here to..

Would you take that off?

My nephew. Show
business is his life.

Really?

'Hello, Culver hotel.'

'Hi, this is Homer Hinkle.'

'I'm the Assistant
Special Talent Coordinator'

'on "The Wizard of Oz."'

'We have some actors
coming from out of town.'

'And all wanna be
in the same hotel.'

'So, since you're right across
the street...and I'm across

the street from you,
I'm calling you first.

- Yes, sir.
- We'll need about 150 rooms.

- That's...150 rooms?
- 'You don't have that many?'

Oh, of course.
We can take care of it.

'I need confirmed reservations.'

- Okay.
- 'For Sunday.'

That's 150 rooms confirmed.

'Right. I'll give you all their
names when we check in, okay?'

- 'Yes, sir. Thank you.'
- 'Goodbye.'

- Hi.
- Hi.

This place is a morgue
and I'm missing

the hotel managers'
convention.

Look, so long as there's nothing
goin' on for rest of the week

I'll take you with me.

Meet me out front.
We'll use your car.

- Henry?
- 'Yes?'

'Thank you very much, Uncle
Lester. You won't be sorry.'

'I will be a great manager.
You'll see.'

Miss Enright will be
accompanying me

on my business trip,
if you know what I mean.

I understand.

One more thing, Henry.
If anything goes wrong

if you have
any problems at all

you'll be fired
and disinherited.

- Okay.
- Do you understand?

- Yes, I understand completely.
- Good.

- Thank you.
- 'Who's it?'

- Oh, it's Zuzu, darling.
- It's just us, your honor.

- 'Is it safe?'
- Oh, yes, sir.

May I suggest you join us
and enjoy the beauty

of this great land of ours.

'I scouted the premises, sir,
and I can assure you'

'we're all secure here.'

Thank you.
You're most efficient.

It is so comforting
to have Mr. Thorpe with us.

But you must remember
to use the secret knock.

- One more, dear.
- Oh, yes.

One more, yes.

Oh, it says here, Mr. Hitler
is doing everything in his power

to preserve peace.

Uh-oh, yep, yeah, yep.

Mm-hmm, yeah, great.

Oh, Strudle. Strudle,
you naughty dog, you.

- Now make nice to uncle Bruce.
- 'No, no, no. Please.'

Liebchen, I will be
in the bar

until you get everything
cleaned up in here.

Yes. Yes, of course.

I'm sure everything's
is alright, sir.

No, no, no. The people
on this train

any one of them may be out to
kill me. But I'm ready for them.

Easy there. Be very careful.
I'd better hold on to that.

It's in perfectly safe..

Sir, I believe you
just shot the dog.

This-this could cost
me my job, you know.

- Yes, well...here.
- Maybe I'll just get a coffee.

Thank you.

I don't think you'll be needing
that disguise in America, sir.

Oh, yes. Thank you, thank you.
Sometimes I forget I have it on.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Well, I was saying..

A-ah.

- Aw-w. Look at those rabbits.
- 'Oh, yeah.'

So, don't feel bad
about Strudle XIII.

Because here
is Strudle XIV.

How did they all die?

Oh, the first Streudel
died by assassination.

My father fell on him.

I've lived in constant fear
ever since.

I can understand that.
What about the rest of them?

There was some drowning. There
was some trampling, shooting.

Oh, and one suicide.

- Suicide?
- Yes, yes, it was very sad.

But most important of all, is
the Duchess never finds out.

For 24 years, she has been
a Duchess without a court.

This I owe to her. Our Strudle
was a Royal Blueblood.

He must live on.
A-ah, a-ah.

It's alright, sir.
It's just a mail bag.

Just a coffin, sir. We'll get
right back to the compartment.

Don't worry about a thing.
We're on our way.

You go to the bus station
and meet the buses

and I'll meet you back at the
Culver Hotel, okay?

Right.

'Your attention please..'

I'm gonna get you
directly into a taxi.

Directly is very good.

I'm sorry, you alright?

Yes, I'm fine.

I'm sorry again.

Uh-oh.
No, no.

Excuse me. Excuse me,
what happened here?

Hi, I'm Annie Clark
from the movie studio.

If you go that way,
I'll get the taxi.

Stop that little man.

Wait a minute. Here,
wait, are you..

Oh, boy, that's great.
I'm sorry.

- Are you hurt?
- No, you're 0 for 2.

Uh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Hey, wait, you dropped
your, uh...diaphragm.

Come back here.

Ow.

Drop your stick.
I'll help you. Kiss me.

- He went that way.
- Somebody's chasing this guy.

- Thanks.
- My pleasure.

Howdy, friend.
Don't look so shocked.

Haven't you ever seen
little people before?

Not all in one place.
Are you all together?

I'll explain it later. Right
now, you're coming with us.

- 'Where we goin'?'
- We're off to see the wizard.

Okay, I'll get my stuff.

Your Highnesses,
I'll tell you what.

Why don't we get
through the taxi.

We'll take the first taxi
and then we can put

the hand luggage and the things
we need in the second cab.

Hold it, hold it.
You can't have that cab.

These four cabs are reserved.

Secret Service special priority,
I'm going to need those cabs.

You got 'em.

G-men.

'Up, up, little higher, Pops.
Up, up, up. C'mon.'

'Okay, Tiny. Pull it up there.'

'Little bit higher.'

'A little higher
on your side, Pops.'

Okay, perfect,
perfect, perfect.

It's perfect!

The Hotel Rainbow.

It's gonna make a fortune.

Okay, Pop.

Tie that off, go inside
and polish up the bells.

I don't think your Uncle's
gonna like this.

He'll love it,
I'm telling you. He'll love it.

I know what I'm talking about.
I'm...the manager.

Holy!

I can't fix this.
We'll have to call the garage.

Excuse me, young man. Can you
direct me to manager, please?

I am the manager.
Henry Hudson, at your service.

Ah!

Ah, it appears my group
will require rooms.

Well, step right this way, sir.
There's always room.

- Under the Rainbow.
- Ah, thank you.

Pops, help these
gentlemen with their bags.

You see, Tiny.
It's working already.

Have you been, uh,
long in this country.

No. Only two weeks.

First of all, I need to know
how many people in your party?

- Uh, 20.
- '20 people. And the names?'

Hey, boy! Get my bags.
Und schnell.

The Pearl is in the river!

No. Get out of there.
Get out of the street there.

Now. Okay. Okay.
Right in the front door here.

'Okay, come on. Come on, now.'

Come on. Let's not doddle, okay?

Ow! Ow!

Wake up, you wiener.

Henry wants you to help
Pops with the luggage.

You mean we actually
got people in here?

Holy mackerel!

'They all look alike, too.'

Hey, where you from, fella?

Oh, you must be from...
Dussel-dwarf.

Oh!

Can you tell me if
midget arrive here yet?

You asked me if a midget
has arrived here?

'That is right.'

I think I can quiet say
that the answer is yes.

Good.

'Where is he?'

Right this way, sir.

Take your pick.

I was.. I'm sorry.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Observe great caution
as you enter.

Looks like I'm gonna
make my first tip

since the depression
started.

- Step right in, ma'am.
- Thank you.

Welcome to the Culver Hotel.
Come in. Thank you.

I thought you said this was
a quiet, out-of-the-way hotel.

I thought it would be.
I wouldn't worry about it.

I've reserved
the whole top floor.

Oh, look at
all the children.

It must be recess.

- Excuse us, kids.
- Yes, please.

This looks like an aerial view
of an unemployment line.

Louie, Louie, Louie.

How may I help you?
Henry Hudson, at your service.

I'm Bruce Thorpe.
I believe we spoke?

Ah, yes, Mr. Thorpe. That was
the, uh, entire top floor.

- Wasn't it?
- Yes.

And how many people
in your party?

Uh, three.

Three.

No, four,
with the dog.

Oh.

Okay.

- Fred!
- A-ah!

- Oh, sweetheart. It's alright.
- It's alright. It's alright.

Oh! No, no. That was
a great bang.

- No, dear. A little ding-ding.
- The little ding was a bell.

Tiny!

Show these people to
their-their floor, will you?

Ooh!

Oh, what a sweet
little boy.

Don't worry, darling.

When you grow up, you'll get
lots of beautiful girls.

Now, don't be naughty.

Come, Streudel.

Can you fix
a broken bus?

Oh, uh...the bus?
What kind?

Oh, it's black.

Look under-under
'Culver City Studios.'

I looked under there.
They're not there.

Look under 'munchkins.'

I..

Look. We have
to face facts.

They're not in here and there's
been some kind of mix-up.

Some kind of mix-up?

Look, there's no problem.
No problem.

If you need rooms,
we'll get them.

We'll just
have to, uh, double up.

If that's not enough,
we'll quarter 'em.

Guys, come on.
No short jokes, please.

- Okay?
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Oh, there's one
other possibility.

This young gentleman
by the elevator

has the entire
top floor reserved.

But there are only
three people in his party.

- So--
- Oh, thank God.

Okay, roll-call.

Pardon me, sir.

- Oh.
- Oh, no.

It's the pretty girl from the
train station. How're you doin'?

Do you think we could use any
of your rooms on the top floor?

Oh, no. I'm sorry.
I couldn't do that.

It's very special
circumstances and..

Any rooms that you could spare
would be greatly appreciated.

I can't.
I just can't.

Three people need
the entire top floor?

I mean, I can't understand that.
I just can't understand it.

I can understand that.

Bruce, I think
the bar is open.

Don't dilly-dally.

'No, this is
an elevator, dear.'

Don't, uh, dilly- dally, Bruce.

The Duke's very tired.
Been a long trip.

The dog's name
is Duke.

'Here's the elevator, gang.'

Louie, Louie, Louie.

Oh, no. We're going
straight to the top.

The other elevator will
be down in a second.

'Oh, okay.'

- Oh!
- Hey!

Excuse me, Miss Louie.

I could not help
but overhear.

You see, they gave us twenty
rooms, but we can share.

Oh, thank you.
That would be great..

- Oh, sit down, please.
- Thank you.

You know, all these little
people are here to make a movie.

Ah! Well, it must be very funny,
from the look of this.

- What's it called?
- The Wizard of Oz.

Oh, what's it about?

I have a script here.
Maybe you'd like to read it?

- Oh, I would be honored.
- I'll have to have it back.

Oh, absolutely.

In fact, to show my gratitude,
I would be extremely honored

if you would dine
with me this evening.

I can return
your script to you.

That would be
just nifty. Um..

Oh, um, I'm sorry.

I'm Annie Clark.

- Rimi Akido.
- Ah.

- Sayonara.
- Sa..

- Domo arigato.
- Dou..

Uh-huh.

Homer! Homer.

- We got rooms. We got rooms.
- You did?

Come on.

Appetizer, while
you're waiting, sir?

It's the house special,
Guacamole Surprise. Stop that!

Thank you.

Waiter, we shall have some, uh,
Chateau Lafite Rothschild.

Okay. And will you be having
wine with that, sir?

That is wine.

Gesundheit.

Look, Strudle.
The Hindenburg.

Leopold, you are so handsome
without all those disguises.

'Why, thank you, my dear.'

And Mr. Thorpe, you make me
feel so safe in your country.

Yes, of course.

Okay, fella.
We're here.

Oh, grazie, grazie.

I'm gonna
miss you, too.

I'm telling you.
It's gonna be a great party.

Someone will be
right with you, sir.

Would you like
crushed nuts?

Don't you dare.

Do you like
your tits--

My Streudel just adores
this Pate de Foie Gras.

Yes. Very remarkable
looking preparations.

- They're good for the dog?
- Oh, it is pure goose liver.

Goose liver.
All royal dogs love it.

Yes, of course.

The pearl
is in the river.

Thank you.

- Would you like to dance?
- Yes, I'd love to.

- Waiter.
- Yes?

May I have a glass
of white wine, please?

Waiter.

I will have another glass
of red wine, please.

Another glass of red wine.
Certainly, sir.

'Thank you.'

I know what you've been doing.
I want you to lay off the wine!

I've just been
eating grapes.

Hello.

Excuse me?

Yes, someone will be with you
immediately. I'll see to it.

If you can just be patient,
I'll get right on it.

I could not help
bumping into you.

I do not speak
English.

Yeah.

- Your wine, sir.
- Thank you.

- 'Your wine, sir.'
- Oh.

Thank you.

- Oh, mein Gott!
- 'What is it, my dear?'

My priceless pearl from
Central Russia is missing.

The pearl
is in the river.

The pearl's
in the river.

Ze pearl is in ze river?

The pearl
is in the river.

The pearl is
in the liver!

Look there.

- 'Oh, thank you.'
- Thank you. You're most kind.

Zuzu, the waltz.
Shall we, my dear?

Oh, I'd love to,
darling.

- Pardon us.
- Please enjoy yourself.

Did you say "The pearl
is in the river?"

No, no, no.

I said,
"Pearl in river."

Perfect.

Excellent.

So, ze pearl
is in ze river.

Well, at last
the plot can proceed.

Oh, the plot
is excellent.

With the help of your people,
it'll be very successful.

The American dog will be
blown into the sky.

Ah, Toto.

Very ingenious.

Follow yellow road
and you're a winner.

You're so right,
my yellow friend.

Be sure
to check page 18.

That's where
the plot syncs.

- Did you have your dinner?
- Yep. Wanna dance?

Ah, maybe
some other time.

Finish your drink, we got
to get to the studio.

Sure.

What role will
you play after this?

I have many roles.

Ah, you must have
a good agent.

I'm a good agent.

Seig Heil.

One, two.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three..

Oh, yes,
I remember this. Yes.

Poor darling,
shall we sit down?

I'm terribly sorry, I won't
be able to have dinner with you.

Things have really
gotten out of hand.

Strudle.

The pearl
is in the river.

Thank you very much,
but I've already recovered it.

Did you say, "Ze pearl
is in ze river?"

You?

Now, you give me
invasion map.

I already gave it to
your fellow countryman.

Can't you stay
for some wine?

I wish
I could, but..

You gave him
the map?

I put it in the script
he was reading.

Perhaps some other time,
dear lady.

Oh, here's
your script.

I enjoyed it
very much

Oh, I'm so glad.

Thank you so much for sharing
your rooms, I appreciate it.

Well, see you lovely
American lady. Sayonara.

Scenario..

'Okay, everybody, it's getting
late, it's time to go to work.'

So, why don't we take this party
on over to the studio.

Sure, why not.

Follow me.

The American woman
has killed him

for the map.

She's taking
the script.

We mustn't let that woman
out of our sight. Come!

Mr. Thorpe, that man has been
behaving rather suspiciously.

Excuse me.

Hello.

Hey, fellow, you want
to call the manager.

Looks like
a possible coronary.

Oh, poor man.

Is that the nice man
who found my pearls?

Yes.

Best if we head for the service
elevator through the kitchen.

Yes, very well.

What seems to be
the problem here?

The problem seems
to be a death.

What?

Then you won't be drinking
your wine, will you, sir?

Tiny, no more drinking.

We've got to figure out
what we're going to do.

'For starters I would try
calling the police..'

'...Japanese Embassy, okay?'

'Excuse me. Yes, sir,
right through there.'

Come on, Strudle.
Heel.

Heel.

- Miss Clark, Miss Clark.
- Yeah.

I wanna introduce you the guy I
was talking about, Rollo Sweet.

Pleased to
meet you, ma'am.

'Hi, Rollo.
Where are you from?'

- Topeka, Kansas.
- I'm glad to have you with us.

This is great.
Just great.

I can see
the headlines.

"Japanese national dies
at Hotel Rainbow."

What are we gonna
tell the police, Tiny?

I don't think we should
tell anybody anything

until your uncle comes back.

Yeah, but he's not gonna
be back until tomorrow.

What do we do with
the body meantime?

You leave that
to me.

Okay, everybody, it's time
to go across the street

and get in the wardrobe
and makeup.

Come on, now.
Across the street.

We must get the script
without any delay.

To make up for ineptness,
though a microscopic one.

Shut your
Jap yap.

Nazi nip, better learn to keep
civil tongue in tiny mouth.

One of these days
we will no longer be friends.

That means you too.

Put me down, you swine,
I'm not one of your cattle.

I will dive-bomb
your family!

'Put me down!
I will wreck Washington!'

Hey, I-I'll walk with you?
What's your name?

Lana.

First time I ever
went up on a broad. Next.

Fifth floor.
Going down.

Is every night
gonna be like this?

I'll admit it
it's quite a coincidence

two heart attacks
at the same time,

even though one of them
was a dog.

Yes, you're right.

It is all a plot.

One of those heart attacks
must have been meant for me.

'Lobby.'

It's four blocks north and the
owner lives up over the pet shop

and he'll let you in anytime.
I bought a sheep there once.

Oh, okay. Thank you,
that'll be fine.

'Your majesty, I'm gonna
get us a taxi.'

'It'll be
a lot easier for us.'

'Taxi!'

Yo, you want a cab?

Ugh.

I think we'll just walk.

Oh, allow me, sir.

Oh, no,
not another one.

Hello, Tiny.
What will it be?

Well...we need a pick me up.

Make it two Irish coffee,
will you?

Make those doubles.

You what?

The men's?
You just went.

Is he really,
really dead?

Oh, no. He just has a little
too much iron in his system.

I see.

- That's a hole in his shirt?
- Where?

Right there.
Under his tie.

Oh, you're-you're right, uh.
Do you have any more gum?

Yeah. It's
a nickel a pack.

No, I only need
one piece.

I'll take care
of that.

Uh.

That gum
can't help him.

Well, it certainly
can't hurt him.

Come on, I-I want you
to meet one of your friends.

- What will it be, fellas?
- Two doubles.

I'll have the same.

You look
ridiculous.

Open your eyes.
This disguise is perfect.

That is the woman
with the script.

'In room 511.'

And my eyes are open.

We must get the script
at any cost.

This mission has
already taken too long.

I must attend to
more important matters.

Hopefully
a new tailor.

'Rollo, did you hear that?'

'Sounds like somebody's
after the script.'

'Better tell
Miss Clark.'

Party's in the lobby.

'Hey, everybody. There's a big
little party in the lobby.'

'Come on, let's wreck this place
up. Down in the lobby. Come on.'

- Here we are.
- Yeah.

You see, the first
Streudel's bloodline

was always slightly
better than mine.

You see, this one
was his mother.

Quite a bit smaller,
wouldn't you say

than the...dog we have here?

No, this is fine.
I assure you.

- Oh.
- Yes.

- A frisky dog..
- Everything is fine.

- Here we go.
- Yes.

Zuzu.

'I'm on the balcony, darling.'

Oh, good, good.

'Did you enjoy your
constitutional with Strudle?'

Oh, yes, yes, it was
very refreshing.

Uh, we bought
Strudle a new dog.

- A new ball.
- A new ball.

Alright.

Makes him feel like
a new dog.

Oh, that's lovely.

Go on. Fetch it,
uh, Strudle.

It is so calm and peaceful
in California, no?

Yes, yes, yes.

Quiet.

Ah-h.

Who's there downstairs?
They are downstairs.

I hear them downstairs.

It must be one of those
loud parties, your Lord.

No, no. I hear them.
I hear them.

They're are closing in. You must
investigate immediately.

Alright, I'll go
have a look.

Oh, they must be having
such fun at that party.

Darling, I think I go
to my room now. Hmm?

Uh-uh-uh, Strudle..
Strudle, come here.

I want you to stay right
in there. Go on now, fetch.

Goodnight, liebchen.

Goodnight,
Strudle.

Goodbye, Strudle.

The map is not here.

She must still have it.

It's her.

Why would she knock
on her own door?

'Anybody in there?'

The window.

Go take your message.

- Hurry.
- A-ah.

Argh.

'Hello. Everything
okay in there?'

Police. Murder. Rape.

No, no, no. No rape.
No rape. No rape.

No, no.
Shh, Shh.

I'm with
the Secret Service.

Secret Service?
You understand?

- Hmm.
- You do. Good.

You promise
you won't scream?

Good.

Secret Service, huh?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Look, look.

Shh-h-h.

Just calm down.
See, look.

Bruce Thorpe, United States
Secret Service.

Okay?

And I...suppose
that's your gun, huh?

Oh, no. I wear
a shoulder holster.

Phone.

- Uh, the phone is ringing.
- Yeah, it's ringing. Okay.

Hello.

Oh, Homer! Yes.

'We, uh, we don't start
shooting until eight o'clock.'

'Just have everybody
ready by then.'

No, I-I-I can't right now.

I have a-a Secret Service agent

'who seems to have lost
something in my room.'

Okay.
Buh-bye.

So...may I ask what your doing
in my room, Mr. Thorpe?

Or is it Agent Thorpe?

Thorpe!

Bruce.

I was up stairs and I heard
a commotion down here and..

Do you have any idea
what they're after?

I haven't a clue.

Has anything, uh, unusual
happened to you today?

Well, I've been dealing
with a 150 little actors.

I haven't slept,
I haven't eaten

I got into a...wrestling match
with the government.

Rollo tells me someone's
trying to steal my script.

Don't have time
to change my dress.

I can certainly help
with the dress part.

I'm sure you can.

Let me ask you
something.

Did you say that somebody was
trying to steal your script?

Yeah, Rollo.

He mentioned
a German film company

was trying to steal it. But
that doesn't make any sense.

It might. You mind
if I take a look?

Help yourself.

Here you go.

Miss Clark?

Thank you.

Miss Clark.

I have got
a 150 little headaches

destroying my hotel.
I haven't eaten..

This is where I came in.
Sorry for interrupting.

...I haven't slept, the hotel
is running out of toilet paper.

- Help me, help me
- I'm gonna help, I'm coming.

Thorpe and the girl
with the script

and the old couple,
they're all spies.

Then they all must die.

A-ah!

This sounds
like the party.

Don't think so.

A cold shower will wake
you up, partner.

One out of ball park.

Yeah..

Look at this!
Look at this!

Do you know what would happen
if the Board of Health

ever got wind of this?

I'm terribly sorry
about all this.

I'm sure the studio will
reimburse you for any damages.

I think that would be fair.

Alright. Alright, alright.

'Alright, listen, everybody.'

If you're not out of here and up
in you're rooms in five minutes

you're all gonna be fired.
Now, is that what you want?

Hey, hey, that apron
is hotel property.

Oh, I see.

Hide and seek, huh?

Ah!

Oh, Rollo, I thought
at least you had sense

to come in
out of the rain.

Oh, sorry,
you're not Rollo.

How careless of you
to meet me here.

Give me the map.

I know you killed a man
for it and I want it.

Killed a man?
A map?

Oh, listen, buster,
you've already got the part.

Why don't you save it
for the cameras?

I want the map.

I recognize that voice
from the bathroom.

Miss Clark's
in trouble.

Lana, get upstairs to the
penthouse and tell Thorpe.

- But what can he do--
- He's a G-Man.

Tell him Miss Clark's
in trouble. Now go.

Give me the map.

Fun is fun,
but this--

If you don't
give me the map

my fun will be cutting you
into little pieces.

One

by one..

Oh!

...by one.

Not bad!

Stand back, Miss Clark.
I'll take care of this.

You die!

You fool!

I am Otto Kriegling.

Master of the sword.

Yeah, well, I got news
for you, buster.

You're gonna have to go
through Rollo Sweet.

I plan to.

I warn you, I know
how to use one of these.

'I will cut you
into little pieces.'

Just like this.

Hmm..

Ha!

Hmm..

Yeah.
Thank you.

'And now, I will cut you
into little pieces.'

Just like this.

Otto Kriegling!

You die!

I still am the master
of the sword.

Uh-uh-uh!

Um-hmm.

You are learning
very fast.

I'm through playing.

You dumb croc.
You didn't have to do that.

I was winning!
I was winning.

Winning your way
to early grave.

There's the girl.
Don't let her get away.

Once again,
you have failed.

Now you will follow me.
This way.

- Penthouse floor.
- Thank you, Tiny.

Hope this little devil
lasts out the evening.

All they had left at the pet
shop were sheep.

'Bruce?'

'Oh, good,
you found one.'

'Luckily, the Duchess
is still asleep.'

Mr. Thorpe!
Mr. Thorpe!

Oh, no!

- Annie?
- Huh?

Bruce?
Oh, Bruce!

Yeah, it's me.
You're safe.

- Oh, no, no, wait--
- It's okay. It's me.

You don't understand.
I'm trying to get to the door.

Oh, boy.

Also, don't bother.
It lock's real tight.

I guess they don't want
the meat to run away.

If I could find some light here,
I could probably pick the lock.

- Oh, hello.
- Oops! I'm sorry.

Ah. There we are.

Oh, God!
Oh, no.

Okay, freeze.

It's alright, it's okay. You're
with me, they can't hurt you.

It's alright.

'I can't believe it.'

Oh, God. Oh, God,
it's Mr. Akido.

I guess this guy is also
with the tourist group.

But this was no heart attack,
looks like a bullet hole.

'But he was
such a nice man.'

'What are you doing?'

It's an old trick
I learned from my father.

'Is he a Secret Service
agent too?'

He was.

'He was killed not long ago
while on an assignment.'

Oh...I'm sorry.

Oh, it was on
the line of duty.

He was our best agent.

He was out to capture
their best agent.

- Oh, I'm sorry. Here you go.
- Oh, no..

- Put this on you quick.
- Thank you.

Sit down. Okay.
Keep warm.

I'll get us
out of here.

Do you know who was
chasing you, Annie?

Uh..

Uh, a Japanese man and a
munchkin with a German accent.

But I-I don't think
he was part of our group.

Any recollection of
having seen him before?

Well, it's hard to tell.
It's been a really hard night.

You're telling me.

Uh...you'll be warmer
if we share.

Yeah, of course.
Silly of me.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, it's much better.
Thank you very much.

A munchkin with
a German accent.

He demanded a map, but I-I don't
know anything about a map.

I do.

This must be it.

I found this
in your script.

What is it?

Looks like a damn good map of
our mainland military defenses.

This is a real thing,
isn't it?

Yeah, it's a real thing.

You must lead
an exciting life.

Well, not...
not until now really.

Let's get it warmer
in here.

There we go.
That's much better.

Much warmer.

It's a lot warmer
when it's dark.

When it's dark,
you'll see.

Keep breathing
at each other.

At least keep
our lips warm.

My lips
are very warm.

What a day.

'Bruce?'

'Yes?'

Compliments of the house.

Oh, how, uh,
how very kind.

Yes, over here.

For 25 years
I've waited for this day.

Oh, thank you.

At last, I will avenge...
the honor of my father.

You...must die!

So...it's you!

My father

missed your father
at Sarajevo

but it was not his fault.

He took the wrong bus.

But why..
Help!

...kill me?

Because you are
the last Ferdinand

and I am
the last De geilo.

Streudel, kill!

Bruce! Bruce! Somebody,
Zuzu, come quickly.

Zuzu!

Darling, what is
all the commotion?

Oh, why don't you introduce
to me your new acquaintance?

May I present
the Duchess of Liuchow.

Zuzu, the Assassin.

The what?

- The Assassin.
- The Assassin?

I-I-I better go.
Darling!

I need to change
my clothes. Oh, no.

Leopold, wait for Zuzu.

Fourth floor.

Going down.

'Going down.'

Ho-ho-hold that elevator.

I could have held
the elevator, sir.

Hey, you. Come back
here with that bucket.

That's my favorite bucket.

'Give me my bucket.'

Now, you must die.

Oh, no, no!

Perhaps you've
got comrades.

We'll trade them up
for your life.

What?

And this will be the bait.

Don't shoot. It's only me.

Oh, Rollo, I thought
you were dead.

C'mon. Get her outta here.

Oh, Annie, I'm just glad
you're alright.

You're a little early, Rollo.

Sure wish I had the meat hook
concession in this place.

Operator!

Operator!

I like this.

Um, no. I-I don't think
you have the legs for it.

It'd make a nice tie.

Phew!

I can't get a line out.

We're gonna have
to call from my room.

I better get in touch
with my superiors.

This could be something
big. Mm, thank you.

I'll just be a second.

I'm only thinking
of your safety, uh.

You could rather stay here.

No, I'd-I'd just
as soon stick with you.

A-and your gun.

Leopold darling.

Liebchen, where are you?

Streudel?

Now, if I could just powder
my nose, I'll be ready.

Oh, you know that reminds me
of the train station..

Your Highness, it's me, Bruce.

Bruce, you know
the Duke was right.

A real assassin
was trying to kill him.

- Hello.
- Where? When?

Just a few minutes ago.

The assassin chased
the Duke down the stairs.

And Streudel went after them.

Annie, stay with the Duchess.
Don't let anybody in.

Don't you worry.
I'll find the Duke.

Oh, okay.

I'm sure he'll find him.

Oh, without my Leopold,
my life would be empty.

Oh, no.

No, I must find him!

Oh, Leopold.

But Bruce said to stay here.

Here he is.

Oh. Hi, ladies.

Wanna go to a party?

Party? No. I never party
while I'm on duty.

But there's gonna
be booze and women.

Well, I guess it is my duty
to check this party out.

Hey, uh, where
is this party anyway?

- We thought you'd know a place.
- Which floor?

Ballroom.

I'm sorry, I didn't think
I was crowding you.

Going down.

- Alright, get up that rope.
- No, no, no, let me go.

Look! Isn't that Streudel?

Is that my Streudel?

That's my Streudel.
Streudel darling.

Oh, it's Leopold.

Liebchen!

Are you alright, dear?

Ah.

How fortunate.

'We meet again.'

'Agent Thorpe should
be here very soon.'

- Bruce! Bruce!
- Rollo.

I looked every place. Can't
find that dirty Nazi anywhere.

We've got bigger problems.
The Duke is missing.

Yoo-hoo!

We're gonna have to turn
this place upside down.

Get help and meet me
in the lobby. Can you do that?

- You got it.
- Good boy.

Come with me. We've to go to the
lobby now. C'mon, all of you.

Thanks a lot, honey.

Hey, girls. I think
this should help, huh?

What do you think?
Are we gonna have fun?

Let me go.
Hey, that hurt.

You're gonna break those!

'Four twenty eight!'

Hey, you're not supposed
to be in there!

'You can't be operating
that alone.'

Otis.

Otis!

Hey, get down, out of there.
You're gonna hurt yourself.

Otis! Go recapture
your elevator!

I can take care of this.

Fellas, fellas, this equipment
can't stay here.

Now, you've gotta move it.

It's blocking everything.
Out! Out! Out!

'Hey, hey!'

Hey, monkeys! You can't be up
there now. You must get down.

'There are ordinances
about this kind of thing.'

And that goes for you too.

Thank god, you're tall.

'This chandelier cannot hold
the weight of three people.'

'I need you down.'

Henry!

- Henry!
- What?

Have you seen the Duke?

All I see, Mr. Thorpe, is my
future going down the drain.

Great!

Find that worthless lout
of a house detective.

I need help.

Streudel! Here, Streudel.

Hey, hey, hey,
what's the matter, boy?

Where's the Duke?

What's going on around here?

Silence!

'Mr. Thorpe, you're in luck.'

Our special for today
is a close shave.

Bruce, behind you.

Drop your gun. This camera
shoots more than film.

'Do as they say.'

'These are the spies
that are after the map.'

- What?
- Aha!

You will cooperate or I'll
blow your brains out.

You must get down
from there.

'Those chandeliers
are expensive.'

- 'Come on, buddy.'
- Yeah, come on.

'Come on, buddy.'

Alright guys,
the next one gets it.

You are bad little people.

You deserve to be short.

This is just what
we need, you know.

Hey, what are you
guys doing in here?

Nothing. We're just
borrowing a little cable.

Yeah, well, you make sure
you bring it back, you hear?

- Okay.
- Trust nobody.

Talking about the cable.
The cable!

Hey, Henry.
I found the elevator.

Hey, watch it, bub.

Hey, hey, hey!

- 'Hey, hey.'
- No time for pygmy perversion.

There was nothing
in there anyway.

Oh, that is rude!

- You!
- Mm-hmm?

- Stand up.
- Yes, sir.

Oh, Streudel.
My darling, Streudel.

Now, empty your pockets.

What are you going
to do with my Streudel?

We don't need
this swineherd.

'You're gonna get
in big trouble for this.'

Mr. Thorpe

I want you to know

I was one of the last persons
to see your father.

'He was good agent.
But I am better.'

You and your friends will meet
same end unless I get the map.

The map?

- What map?
- Give me the map.

What map?

I don't want you to die
over some stupid map.

'Tell them where it is.'

Never!

'We will see about that.'

Oh, that map. Uh, I hid it
in Streudel's locket.

Don't play games.
We want the map.

No, no games. No games.
Streudel's the dog.

It's the locket
around the neck.

I put it in the locket
and...Streudel.

Uh, you mean,
the dog that left?

No, the dog you threw out, sir.

You lie, you die.

Go get the dog...
or you die.

Ah-ha! There you are.

Nice doggie. Ah-huh, come here.

Come here, boy.

Alright now, that guy
upstairs, Thorpe?

He's a G-Man and he's
asked us for our help.

Yeah, and we'll
all be Junior G-Men.

'Lamebrain!'

Don't you know when they're
trying to pull a short joke?

Come on, gang.
The party's at my floor.

You're wrong, Smokey.

'He's wrong.
Thorpe's on the level.'

'I've seen his identification.'

'He's the real McCoy.'

Ah! Nice swineherd.

'I'm telling you, there's
a bad apple in this barrel.'

'A little guy who's
dressed like me.'

Come to Uncle Otto.

'But he's a Nazi spy, out
to acquire a secret map.'

- Come.
- 'He threatened Ms. Clark.'

'And then he tried to kill me.'

It's true.

- Look, there he is.
- 'There he is.'

That's the guy with the dog.
He tried to kill me.

Let's get him.

Let's get him.

There he goes.

If you catch him, he's mine.

Perfect.

A midget posse.
That's what was missing.

Hey, how you doing?

Oh, fine, just fine.
Can I help you?

Yeah. Is this where Ms. Clark
wants the dog auditions?

Sure. Why not?

Okay.

Come on.

Come on.

Get me down.

I forgot my beer.

Tiny?

'Henry.'

Tiny, where the hell are you?

Get over here, I need you.

'I can't.'

I'm tied up right now.

Yeah?

Well, see if you can shake
yourself loose.

And bring a ladder,
will you?

Wait, Henry.

I think I hear somebody
coming right now.

Well, I see
nothing has changed.

This place is still
the same old morgue.

You take the rest
of the day off.

- You could use the rest.
- 'Mm-hmm.'

'Hotel Rainbow?'

What the hell
is going on here?

That nephew of mine is getting..

He's getting away.

You're a little early
for work, aren't you?

That guy is a Nazi spy.
Don't let him get out.

Okay, guys, we got him trapped.

Wedgie, get back to the hotel
and get that guy Thorpe.

Roger.

Alright guys, you ready
to get us a Nazi?

Yeah!

Let's go.

'If we get the map, perhaps
we will allow you to live.'

You'll never get away with this.
And you know it.

We can. And we will.

Yes, but what do you
want with me?

I've never been
to the Orient.

I know nothing
about this map.

I am the Duke of Luchow.

Vengeance lands upon
your fathers house.

Picture? Gracias.

Liebchen, are you alright?

Darling.

- Do you know that man?
- Never saw him before.

Whoever he is, he saved
the Duke's life.

- Yes, yes, he did.
- No, no, sir, that man did.

No, he was the real assassin.

But he will haunt me no more.

I am a free man.

Oh, darling,
you were so brave.

Yes, I was.

Mr. Thorpe?

Thorpe?

Mr. Thorpe?

I'm Thorpe.
What is it?

We've got the spy trapped
on the movie lot. Come quick.

'Hurry.'

The lot?
Oh, my God!

Well, wait for me.

Excuse me, sailor.

Alright, ready orchestra.

Standby camera.

- 'I said stop.'
- And..

Out of my way.

'That's alright. We'll wait.'

Ah!

Give me the map.
Come on, give me the map.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Come back!
Come back here!

A-ah!

A-ah! A-ah!

I have a feeling our
little group has been here.

I've seen their work.

They're not going
to be easy to find.

This place is over 50 acres.

Follow the donuts.

- Roll camera.
- Roll camera!

Gone With The Wind.
Scene 388. Take one. Marker.

Action.

Action!

Ah!

Miss Scarlett,
Miss Scarlett!

I think I see
the Union Army coming.

Cut. Cut.

- Cut. Cut!
- Cut!

Aha!

Here doggie. Here doggie.
Come to Uncle Otto.

Victor, I think you should leave
this scene in the picture.

Victory.

There he is. Get him.

Get him out!

A-ah!

Don't let him get away.

'Don't let him get away.'

Follow that bus.

Everybody, standby.

Watch it!

Yee-haw!

Yah!

A-ah!

'Give me a hand with this.
Come on, somebody..'

I-I-I can't reach.

I can't see anybody here.

I'll never be able to
explain this to my boss.

I'll explain it to your boss.

When I explain it to him,
you'll get a promotion.

No one will believe it.
I don't know if I'm..

- Look, there's Streudel.
- Annie, we don't need Streudel.

He's got the map.

No, he doesn't. I have it.

But you said you hid it
in Streudel's locket.

I lied.

Thank you.

I have the map.

You lie.

'You die.'

Look out.

Hey, slow down.

Jesus, did you see that?

Now what?

Uh-oh!

Annie, get out of the way.

Turn it.

- I can't turn this thing.
- Jesus!

'Will he be alright?'

'I'm just an old horse doctor,
but I think he'll be fine.'

- What happened?
- Oh, you had a nasty fall.

Timmy saw you fall in the
wagons, and he carried you here.

'The glorious sunshine
of hope..'

I owe you one, Timmy.

No, I owe you one, Rollo.

I thought you were dead,
so I ate your dinner.

Rousing speech.

You were right, Rollo,
things are looking up.

I can start
my business again.

And with the highway project
going through

there's gonna be work
for everybody.

That's swell!

Hey, this calls for a
celebration, and I'm buyin'.

And tonight, I will bake you
your favorite strudel.

Sorry, you missed the
President's speech, Rollo.

Oh, yes, and you worked so hard
to get the aerial up.

I did hear it,
or did I dream that too?

Well, it was inspiring.

Sure was.

Well, doc, do you think
he can travel?

- Travel?
- Oh, I think so.

- Come on.
- Where are we going?

To the bus.

- A bus?
- Mm-hmm.

- I dreamed that.
- Is that so?

Well.

Take a look
at a dream come true.

Rollo, you're going
to Hollywood.

Hey.

Here he is.

Hey. How you doing?

I told you I'd find him.
Meet Rollo Sweet.

Perfect.

Homer Hinkle, Hollywood.

Wouldn't now be a good time
to put up the new sign?

Okay.

Hey, didn't you get
that letter we wrote you?

No, I looked in
the post office every day.

- Rollo.
- Excuse me.

You're not gonna believe this.

I'm gonna put you
in the movies.

'Hold it. Hold it.'

The name's Zemeyer...Elzemeyer.

Agent to the stars.

Stick with me, son,
and I'll take you to the top.

Well, I'll be
a son of a bitch.

Time's a wasting now.
Get up on in here.

Got a deadline.

We're going to Hollywood.

Well, you always said,
"No dream is too big."

And no dream is too small.

I'm real proud of you.

- I'm gonna miss, Annie.
- I'll miss you too.

Hey, don't be such a big movie
star, you miss the wedding, huh?

I wouldn't miss that
for the world.

Alright. Good luck.

Thanks.

- Goodbye.
- 'Buh-bye.'

Bye.

So long, Rollo.

Come back if you need to.

There's always room
under the rainbow.

Bye, Rollo.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Would you excuse us, please?

Go on, go fetch.

A-ah!

Oh, my..

Ah, he's fine.

d We are the little bunch,
you know d

d We are here to sing the song d

d We'll be good
So follow us d

d Don't miss the bus
Don't miss the bus d

d Follow your dreams
and you'll go far d

d You might even be a star d

d We always knew
you knew you could d

d Be a big star in Hollywood d

d Life is a movie
Life's a play d

d We're all a part
of a big parade d

d Come along and join the show d

d It's off to
Tinseltown we go d

d Don't be tardy
Don't be late d

d This may be
your biggest break d

d You always knew
we knew you could d

d Be a big shot in Hollywood d

d Pardon me, Bob
Can you spare me a dime d

d I'm a little short changed d

d Otherwise, I'm fine d

d Times are gettin' better d

d Things are goin' my way d

d But I could use a cup of
jive-a-Jack to start my day d

d Things are looking up today d

d How could they
be any other way d

d How am I flyin' d

d I'm flyin' high d

d Ah, this little guy d

d Ain't no small fry d

d Gonna pack my bags d

d Gonna grab a half a pint d

d And I'll be in California
by Saturday night d

d Life's a bowl of cherries d

d If you throw away the pits d

d And a bowl of duck soup
is just two bits d

d Things are looking up today d

d How could they
be any other way d

d How am I flyin' d

d I'm flyin' high d

d Ah, this little guy d

d Ain't no small fry d

d So you better quit
your jivin' Jack d

d And get off your tail d

d Hit the yellow brick road d

d Or hit the rails d

d Follow that rainbow d

d Follow the star d

d 'Cause the bigger the dream
the bigger you are d

d Follow the road
And you will fall d

d All for one
and one for all d

d If it's sunny don't dismay
There's a rainbow on the way d

d Free advice we're giving you
From a different point of view d

d We always knew
you knew could d

d Hit it big in Hollywood d

d Character actors
aren't the news d

d Things are looking up
for you d

d Don't be so sorry
to follow your heart d

d Don't be too tense
to play your parts d

d Nothing to fall
and lunge too far d

d Follow the road
and you're a star d

d We always knew
you knew you could d

d Be a big star in Hollywood d