All language subtitles for Two Guys and a Girl s04e18 Make Mine Tea

My doll.

Katie. Hey, what are you doing here?

Well, I was in the neighborhood, and I
happened to have a rare Captain Karma

comic book for a hard -working doctor.
Oh, this is great. This one's awesome,

too. This is the one where Captain Karma
meets his sidekick, Gary.

Yeah, I was just thinking about you.

Yeah.

Hey.

They're launching a new comic book at
the coffee house on Beacon. Would you

to go?

Yes, I would, except, um, no.

Because, uh... Because, um, I'm really
kind of busy around here, so...

Well, it's at 6 o 'clock, and I'll be
there, so come if you change your mind.

Yeah, thanks for the book. You're
welcome.

Strong.

Who was that?

Oh, it's just a nice girl. That's why
you don't know her.

Really? And does Irene know her?

Uh, no. Actually, Irene doesn't know
everyone I know.

You're certainly not the girls you flirt
with.

I don't flirt with women. Ashley, I talk
to them. Is it my fault it comes out

like music?

You shouldn't be going out with someone
when you have a girlfriend, and you know

it. I am not going out with her, okay? I
might meet her in a public place. And

you know what? My grandfather used to
use an expression that I think might

here. Uh -huh, and what was that?

Shut up, Ashley.

Hey, baby.

Hey, oh, good, you're home.

Guess what I'm doing.

You're leaving me and taking very
little.

No, I'm going on a stakeout. Get out.
Yeah, Mark's working on this woman's

divorce case, and we need to get
pictures of her husband cheating.

Well, what a coincidence. I got you a
someone's cheating bouquet.

Oh, sweet.

But next time, sweetie, take off the
price tag.

You seem pretty tacky just to give you
the receipt.

I want to say sorry for spending so much
time at the station this week. I know.

I miss you.

Hey, you know what?

I have Pete to come with me tonight. He
wants to use his binocular flask. But

why don't you come with me instead? We
could fool around.

How are you going to catch them fooling
around if we're fooling around?

If you do it right, I won't care.

Baby, I would love to, but I've got to
get back to the station.

You're going to the station again? I
haven't seen you in days. I've been

training all week. The test is on
Saturday. If I fail any one of these,

Oh, good. Is your back still bothering
you? No, no. It's just you reach a

certain age, that's the noise you make
when you bend over.

Hey, what's going on?

It's international night.

Again?

Yes, it's Thursday, the night we explore
the culture of a different country.

And tonight, the lucky nation is...
Italia.

Yeah, well, I'm still digesting Poland
there. Oh, come on. I made sausage with

meatballs and arranged them in a way
that always makes you laugh.

Irene, look, I, uh... I gotta tell you,
you know, I'm getting pretty tired of

International Night.

You loved Swiss Night.

Yeah, but you were naked and the Alps
were covered in chocolate.

Nothing. No, there's something on your
mind. No, there isn't. Oh, come on.

Okay, it isn't me, is it? No, it's not,
it's not, not really.

What is it?

Am I annoying you? I'm annoying, aren't
I? Somebody told me that once. No, wait.

No, no, it's not, it's not that, okay?
It's not a big deal. It's just, it's

little things, you know? Like what? Like
International Night, for instance. You

know, all your choices have been very
Eurocentric.

I had no idea this bothered you. Okay,
come on. Don't be like that, all right?

I'm sure that I do things that bother
you, too. Nope. I mean little things.

Well, last week when I... Nope. Okay.

Green, you know, if you don't feel close
enough to open up to me, then what kind

of relationship do we have?

Well, okay.

All right. I guess there's one thing.
There you go. Let's have it. Come on.

Well, the other day when you shaved,
Terry, there was a little splash on

Oh, my God!

What is it, Martha Stewart's summer home
all of a sudden?

I can't even relax a little at my own
girlfriend's house, for God's sake!

Oh, me?

Bird, you asked me. Yeah, but I didn't
think I'd be raked over the coals.

Wow, this really hurts. I'm sorry.

You know what? I think I need some time
alone to think. I'm going to go back to

my place where I can shave without being
treated like some degenerate.

I can't believe it. I feel like such a
target.

said wear black. I said wear something
that blends in.

This does blend.

I am the knight.

Hey, Bert, do you think this is the
right thing to wear on a stakeout?

I find it a little frightening that
you're on a stakeout ensemble.

What? No, no, this isn't a stakeout
ensemble. I put this together. See, this

my ski turtleneck.

And these are my matador pants.

Hey, hey, hey, Bert.

You want to come with us? I'm too upset.
Irene started a huge fight.

About what? Oh, I'm a giant slob,
apparently. It's so upsetting.

Makes me want to, I don't know, go to a
comic book signing with an old friend.

Come on, Pete.

Wait, wait, where are you? I can't see
you. You blended in so well.

All right, I'll be right out. I just
want to talk to Bird for a second.

What do you think you're doing?

What?

Comic book signing?

Comic book girl? This is the girl you
were attracted to. Don't make it such a

big deal. It is a big deal.

You can't do this to Irene. You said you
loved her, and she said it back.

Twelve hours later.

Yeah, well, it took you three days to
return my I love you, man.

This may sound ridiculous, but in that
12 hours, something changed.

I don't look at her the same way
anymore, all right? This morning, she

with a meat cleaver, and it just wasn't
as cute as it used to be.

So what? What are you saying? You don't
love her anymore?

I don't know. You know, all I know is
that I was hurt, and then I met Katie,

now I'm so confused.

Hurt? Man, I wish you'd come and talk to
me. I mean...

I hate to toot my own horn, but, you
know, you're talking to the guy who's

confused in every relationship he's ever
been in.

And I really wish we'd had this talk
when you weren't wearing matador pants.

Look, Pete, if I don't see this through,
then I'm never going to know how I

really feel.

All right, just be careful.

Pete, get out here!

The night calls.

I'm sorry, who?

Maverick.

Go for Maverick.

Oh, shh, shh. It's him, it's him. Grab
the camera.

All right, where did he go? Where did
he... Where did you go?

I wonder Johnny didn't come with you
tonight.

He didn't come because he's doing
another one of your stupid training

He's been there every night this week,
the poor little thing.

He has. I haven't seen him.

What? He said he's been there.

Oh, yeah, right. No, yeah, he was there.

But you just said that he wasn't. Yeah,
why are you listening to me? I'm ripped

on binocular hooch.

and argue his way out of that one.

I can't believe I didn't see this
coming.

Hey, don't beat yourself up.

Guys are sneaky.

First they start by working late at
night and then they have to go in early

the morning and the next thing you know
they have to go away on weekends.

Yeah.

I guess this is the kind of thing you've
seen a hundred times.

I've done it a hundred times.

They're all the same.

You better keep an eye on your...

He loves me too much. He just brought me
these flowers yesterday.

Yeah, well, I just got a dozen roses on
Tuesday.

Yeah, we were just married a year ago.
Last summer. We have sex all the time.

Okay, that's different.

We stopped because his back...

I've heckled poetry readings here.

Excuse me.

Can I get your autograph?

Can I get you a better pickup line?

You, a fellow geek, love... Wait a
minute! This is... This is you!

This is great!

Oh, my... Wow, how did you become such a
great artist?

Well, you see, the secret to being good
is being holed up in your room all

through high school.

I thought you were the secret to self
-love.

Come on, let's grab a coffee. Two
hazelnuts, please.

Wow. Now, take a look. Do you see
anybody familiar?

Uh, no.

Just a pizza face and an aluminum smile.

high school if I had a cape.

I've been working on this for eight
years.

I modeled that character after you.

Really? Yeah. I wanted to write about
someone who was kind and funny and

I wanted to write about you, Berg.

Wow.

That was great.

I gotta go.

Oh, okay. Look, my girlfriend said that
she didn't love me. And later on, she

said that she did love me. But
meanwhile, I ran into you and I got

I came down here to see if there's
anything with you. And then we kissed

realized that there wasn't anything.

And I realized, most of all, that I love
my girlfriend.

I love her.

exercises what what's he doing here i
don't know i mean it's just an empty

filled with mattresses what if he really
is cheating on me jaron

he would never do that he loves you

I'll go get the camera.

I'm here. I don't need pictures.

Donnie! Sharon!

All right, who is she?

Who's who? What are you talking about?

Oh, my God, she's a ham!

It's a training dummy from the fire
station.

Oh, good Lord, that...

Well, I'll say you're having an affair
with a stuffed man.

Oh, for God's sake.

My back has been killing me. I drove out
here. I grabbed one of the dummies.

I've been taking the weights out. That
way it'll be lighter for tomorrow's

What?

So you've been out here rigging the test
every night?

Step Wednesday, that's my step class.

on me.

Me and the entire fire department. And
let me tell you something, Johnny, she

a woman who does not forgive.

You're not going to tell on me. I have
no choice.

You know, we do these tests for a
reason. I mean, John, do we want firemen

can only save the skinny?

Pete, you know I'm a strong guy. My back
will heal and I will be a great

fireman. Don't ruin this for me.

cheats his way through life, huh?

Bending the rules to serve his own
selfish needs.

I'll give you $20 to keep your mouth
shut.

Oh, you make me sick.

Hey, Bert.

You have a long face.

Oh, yeah.

It's your oddly shaped head.

to tell Irene.

Oh. How about in a nice note on the lid
of your coffin?

I just feel like I really need to tell
her. Is the girl pregnant?

No. Is there video tape? No. Is it
coming out in the tabloids? Did she turn

to be a man? What exactly is the
problem?

No. Okay, look, I... Here's the deal. I
feel so great because now I realize how

I feel about Irene, okay? But I also
feel so guilty because I betrayed her to

find out.

You should feel guilty, but let it
torture you, not Irene.

Why would I listen to you?

Well, it may sound crazy, but I've grown
fond of that little freak.

And I don't want to see her hurt.

Besides, I didn't tell you that I kissed
Justin when you and I were going out,

did I?

You what?

See, I should have kept it to myself.
Now I've hurt your feelings. Fine, but

I'll get over it. Oh, I also didn't tell
you that Justin and I photocopied our

butts during Christmas party.

That poor helpless machine.

Well, you're in quite the rush to see
me. I am.

Listen,

I want to apologize for yesterday.

No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have
harped at you about the shaving thing.

No, no. I mean, that was my fault.

Look, let's not point fingers, okay?
Let's just put it all behind us.

I don't want to be one of those couples
that gets bogged down in silly fights.

Let's not be Johnny and Sharon.

Please.

All right.

All forgiven?

Mm.

These are... These are for you. Oh, I
love the flowers.

Yeah, I love you. I love you, too. See,
I said it right away this time.

Oh, gosh.

Listen, um... Oh, what's this?

That... Oh.

That's just a stupid comic. Oh, I can
see why you bought it. This geek looks

like you.

I have to tell you something.

I went to the signing of this comic book
to meet another

woman.

Oh.

That's okay.

Good.

I'm calm.

All right.

Who's this woman?

What's her address?

No.

Irene, don't overreact, okay? We just
had coffee. And coffee leads to sex.

Everyone knows that.

God, why do you think there's a
Starbucks on every corner in America?

Come on, don't be ridiculous, all right?
We didn't have sex, okay? We just

kissed.

Excuse me?

I am so sorry. I was confused.

Well, sorry doesn't cut it.

You can't give in to every temptation
that comes along, Michael Bergen. I was

watching Benicio Del Toro the other
night.

And I began to stir.

I turned the channel out of respect for
you.

Now.

I'm afraid you have to leave.

Stop.

I just want you to know you broke my
heart.

There you go. Enjoy.

I'm your number one fan.

That's sweet.

Um, uh, who should I make this out to?
Uh -huh, yeah.

Make it out to a woman scorned.

Oh, yeah, I know how you feel.

I just had my heart broken myself.

Oh, that's so sad.

Maybe we should get together and talk
about it. What's your address?