All language subtitles for Two Guys and a Girl s03e22 Another Moving Script

Hey. Hey, there you are. Where have you
been all morning?

Working. Got everything done early.

Thought we could do something fun this
afternoon.

Oh, well, you could walk me to the soup
kitchen at the mission.

Or we could stay home and I could put
bugs on you.

I'm sorry, baby, but they expect me
there in half an hour. Well, let's do

something after. How long can it take to
eat soup?

Well, then I'm going to the hospital.
I'm reading Valley of the Dolls to the

children's ward.

Okay, here's my idea.

Come on, Sharon. What am I supposed to
do when you're off saving the world? You

know, I'm bored.

I don't know.

Get a hobby.

A lot of people drink when they're
alone.

Sean!

Oh, my God. I haven't seen you in so
long.

And I'm pregnant.

More specifically, I haven't seen you in
over a year.

Hey, Sean.

Wow.

Come on in. Sit down. Yeah, I'm sorry to
come unannounced. I'm in the city for

my Lamaze class, and I had an hour to
kill. I thought I'd say hi.

Hi. What?

You didn't tell me the son was married.

I'm not.

Say nothing.

Uh, do we ever get to meet the dad?

He died.

At least I hope he dies.

Oh, wow. So you're all alone?

Well, who's your Lamaze partner?

I don't have one.

Well... Maybe they'll pair you up with
someone when you get there. I mean, I'm

sure there'll be guys there without
girls.

Listen, Sharon, I know I'm not your
favorite person, you know, because of

happened with Johnny and me, but I'm in
this all alone, and I've got no one else

to turn to.

Have you tried religion?

Actually, I was looking for Lamar's
partner.

Oh.

You know what?

I'm not really doing anything. I'll help
you.

Is that okay?

Sharon?

Oh, God.

Sure.

What the hell? It'll be good practice
for when we have a baby. We're getting

married.

Congratulations.

So this isn't a problem? No, it might be
fun.

As long as you don't deliver on our
wedding day, we're getting married.

Oh, come on. Do not worry. You are in
good hands, you know. I once helped my

have puppies.

I even stopped her from eating one.

Oh, boy, that's funny.

Love is folding the laundry together.

Don't you just love those?

What, are you kidding me? I thought I
was the only one.

You know what love is?

Love is sharing the same taste in
cartoons.

I know.

My boyfriend cuts them out for me every
day.

Love is cheating on your boyfriend.

Oh, stealing toilet paper, nice.

You know, in some countries, if they
catch you doing that, I'll cut off your

ass.

Everybody freeze!

We've had a robbery!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you
doing? I spent two hours on that floor.

Well, you didn't do a very good job.

There's a bunch of mud behind me.

Give me that. You're doing... it wrong
anyway.

Okay, what are you doing? You need to
use circular motions.

It's figure eights. It's figure eights.
All right?

See? See?

The mop, it glides along all the while,
picking up more mud.

I just find it interesting that the mop
is leading.

There is a right way and a wrong way to
do things. There's a Pete way, and then

there's a Marty way.

I'm going to show you again.

Give it. No, I'm not giving it to you.
All right, you two, quit flirting and

some work done.

Flirting? I'm not flirting. I'd rather
flirt with you.

Captain, sir.

Smooth, Mott boy.

I'm gonna go change.

Hey, will you do me a favor? Would you
put that sign in the other room?

Sure. Does look a little heavy for you.

Ow!

Oh, my God, are you okay?

You could have warned me that the floor
was wet.

Yeah. You see, um, illiteracy is the
silent killer.

I think I hurt my shoulder.

Ow!

Did I mention I hurt my shoulder?

Perhaps you shouldn't touch it?

Look, this could be serious. Maybe I
should get you to a hospital. No,

has to stay here. Our co -workers aren't
going to injure themselves.

Oh, hey there, Bert. How's it going?

Great. Maybe someday they'll let me
clean up at the Mayo Clinic.

Well, hang in there. You'll be back on
rounds in no time.

Aha! Taking gods.

Do you have a requisition for that?

No. I have a bleeding patient.

Convenient.

Hey, Bert.

Yes, Jer?

When you and Dr. Walker were going out,
did you ever notice anything missing in

the mornings?

Often my dignity and sense of self
-worth.

This isn't a game, man! You think this
is a game?

I'm so glad I got him this job.

Excuse me.

I'm Dr.

Bergen. Dr.

Bergen. Dr. Michael Bergen. Dr. Michael
Leslie Bergen. People call me Babel.

Yeah, um, what is the quickest way out
of here?

Full -blown aneurysm.

So, you're a doctor.

I'm guessing you're prepping the counter
for surgery?

No, no, I just do this to stay humble.

It keeps my God complex in check.

Well, it looks like you've got your work
cut out for you.

Let's see. You, uh, hurt your ankle.

No.

Ah, shoulder.

Let's see what they're giving you for
that shoulder there.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, just with that effect. Did you see
that?

They left that dinner in a movie.

You mean like a date?

I don't know. I just met you.

I just met you. I don't seem to care.

What do you say? It'll be fun.

What the hell? No one else is asking me
out.

That's the way to build a man's self
-esteem.

She didn't even call.

She didn't even call.

to let me know that she was okay. Well,
you know what?

I'm not going to feel guilty about it
anymore. She slipped, she fell, so what?

But you know what?

If you can't handle a little water on
the floor, then maybe firefighting isn't

for you.

Hey, how's this look?

Like the suit you wear on every date.

Well, I'm not going to wear my breakup
suit.

Oh, that's her, that's her.

God, can you get that?

Marty?

Dream?

You two know each other?

Yeah, yeah. This is Marty. I work with
her at the fire station.

Remember I was telling you about the
girl who hurt her shoulder and she went

the hospital while you were getting
ready for your date with the girl you

the hospital who I'm guessing hurt her
shoulder.

I bet if I were paying attention, I
would have put that together.

How's your arm?

It's fine.

Fine.

Listen, Marty, could you wait for me
down in the stoop? I'd like to, you

make an entrance.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Okay.

Whoa. This is weirder than that night we
both rented Tango and Cash.

No, you know, is this going to be a
problem?

No, no, not for me. You're the one going
out with her. Yeah, but this is Fire

Girl. You know, I mean, you're always
talking about her. Ferg, I'm always

talking about her because I can't stand
her.

All right, now go.

Don't be crazy.

Have a good time.

Yeah, listen, you know, I'm going to
cancel.

No, why, why? No, Ferg, I'm not a child.
If I wanted to go out with her, I'd go

out with her.

Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. Would you
stop asking me? Now go. Have a good

Okay. All right. Okay. All right, man.

I can't believe he went.

W, we're going to need some more urinal
cakes for the men's room.

Sir, I just replaced them the other day.

Pete, these men are firefighters.

They see a urinal cake as a challenge.

All right, all right. I'll get right on
it.

Sorry. I'm sorry I'm late. I told you
before, Delaney, late doesn't cut it

around here.

Is that what you'll tell the people who
just watched their house burn to the

ground?

You know what? Actually, sir, I think
what she means is sorry she's late from

getting back from the store where I sent
her to get some provolone.

I love provolone.

Good work, kid.

Make me a sandwich, Dunville.

I'd love to, sir.

Well, that was surprising.

Nice of you.

Never mind that. Run along and get some
provolone.

Well, thanks.

I didn't hear my alarm go off. I was out
kind of late.

Last night?

When I went out?

No.

For dinner?

Oh, right, right. Was that last night?

Aren't you going to ask me how it was?

No, I've had dinner before.

time with Michael, but, um, if this is
going to be a problem for you, I totally

understand. A problem? Why would it be a
problem? He didn't use my credit card

again, did he?

No, because, you know, he's your
roommate.

And, um, it could be awkward for, uh,
you and me.

You and me? There is no you and me. See,
there's you way over there, and then

there's me right here. See? Totally
separate.

Well, then, if it's not going to bother
you... It's not going to bother me. Go

out with him again. See if I care. I
think I will. Good. Have...

Where are you going? I'm going to call
him. You need his number? No, I've got

it. Fine, call him right now. I will.

I can't believe she's going to call him.

Very nice.

Now breathe with your partner.

Remember, gentlemen, this is all about
Mommy right now.

You did this to her. Now help her.

Oh, very good, you two. Excellent
breathing.

Not smoker.

Hey, Sharon.

Hey, what are you doing here? I thought
you were supposed to be at the soup

kitchen. Oh, it's okay. They think I'm
out getting crackers.

Okay, gentlemen.

Let Mommy know you're there for her.

Gently rub your partner's back.

Oh.

Like rubbing's going to help when you're
trying to pass a basketball.

Very nice, Johnny. It's great to see
such an attentive husband.

Oh, he's not my husband.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He's mine.

Well, he's not mine, but he's going to
be. He's just going to help Sean deliver

this baby.

And even before you know it, he's mine
again.

Okay, but right now, this is a Lamaze
class, not a bobsled run.

So I'd appreciate it if you wait
outside.

Oh, that's okay. I'm good.

Um, honey, we won't be much longer. Why
don't I meet you at home?

Oh, okay.

All right.

But who are we kidding? You're all
getting epidurals.

Hey, Dr. Walker, you finished with that
soda? Yes, I guess so. Why?

Three words.

DNA.

There are fingerprints all over this can
that will match the ones on that

cabinet.

Which cabinet? That cabinet? You mean
the cabinet that I get medical supplies

out of every day as part of my job?

Yeah.

So is there anything else that I can
help you with?

Just one more thing. I can't get it out
of my head.

The lice?

No.

Germ, can you get to the point? I'm
busy.

I think you did it. I just need the
proof.

I did it.

Reverse psychology.

Well, too bad. I still think you did it.
Germ!

I took your stupid roll of toilet paper,
okay? I didn't have time to go to the

store, so I reached in there and I took
it. You happy? Here.

Here is $10. Go and buy yourself 50
rolls of toilet paper.

Not about the money.

I know I'm just a lowly orderly in your
eyes, but I'm in charge of that cabinet.

And believe it or not, I take a great
deal of pride in my job.

And I know everyone around here loves to
have a good laugh at the germs expense.

You know, what if I went into surgery
and just helped myself to a kidney

I didn't have time to stop at the kidney
place on the way home?

I mean, that wouldn't be very good,
would it?

No. No, it wouldn't, Joan. I... I'm
sorry.

All right, then. You want to go out with
me?

Well, well, well. Look who's home from
pregnancy dating school.

Sorry, honey.

They asked Sean and me to stay late.
They took our picture for a poster.

Oh, well, I'm not surprised. You two
make such a beautiful couple.

Well, hey, what's your problem? You said
it was okay.

Because, Johnny.

thing to do. You know how you feel when
you help the homeless. Well, I feel that

way when I help Sean. Oh, well, see, I
don't wrap my legs around homeless

and rub their backs.

Sharon, someone needed me.

You know, and no one's needed me around
here for a long time. Don't think that's

gone unnoticed.

Besides, you're too busy running around
saving the world to have any time for

me. If it's not the homeless, it's the
old folks or the spotted owl or tuna.

Dolphins.

What? Dolphins. Nobody's trying to save
the tuna.

Well, whatever it is, it comes before
me.

Oh, oh, oh, this is a healthy pattern. I
get a little busy, and they try to

punish me with the first pregnant tramp
that walks through the door?

Well, I guess that's what it takes for
you to give me the time of day.

Face it, Sharon, we are drifting apart,
frankly.

Because I'm going to bed. Good. You can
sleep in the other room. Good

night.

Can't hear you.

I had a great time tonight. You know,
I've never caught a puck before.

Thanks for letting me keep it.

Hey, you were the one who knocked the
old lady out of the way.

You want to grab that drink? Yeah, sure.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Pete's not in there, is he?

No, no, no, no. They were shorthanded at
the fire station. One of the volunteers

that I hired.

You know, I have to say, I love hockey,

you know? It's so manly and rugged.

Did you ever play?

No, well, sort of. Actually, I used to
figure skate in the third grade.

I just like hockey, except...

Your dad's less proud.

You know, I'm having a really good time.

Well, night's not over.

Pay no attention to me.

Hey, what are you doing here? I forgot
my coat. It's 75 degrees out. It's a

light coat.

You know what? Maybe I left it in the
bedroom, but just pretend I'm not here.

Um, I'm sorry about that.

No, no, it's not your fault.

He's just acting like an idiot.

He's such a baboon. Yeah.

That's why we never photograph him from
behind.

I'm sorry. Listen to me. Oh, you know
what? Why don't we do what he says and

just pretend he's not here?

Good luck.

Okay. Well, found my coat, but now lost
my keys.

I think I dropped them on the floor.
Move your leg. Move your leg. There you

Oh, and again.

I'm not here.

You know what? That makes two of us.
Hold it. Where are you going? I can't do

this. I'm sorry.

There they are. They're in my other
pocket.

Always the last place you look. Off I
go.

Hey, Pete.

You know what? If...

If you liked her, why didn't you just
say something and stop with the childish

games, huh?

I'm not playing any games.

Oh, no?

Well, then if you're supposed to be at
the firehouse, then why do you suddenly

show up back here?

To pretend to get my coat and ruin your
date.

I knew it.

You knew it.

Funny. You knew that, but you didn't
know that I wanted to go out with her.

You told me to go out with her. You told
her to call me. You know, where in that

do I get back off? Pete likes her.

When do I have to spell things out for
you, Bert? You should know what I'm

thinking. Why should I have to guess?
You know, because when I want something,

say I want it. You know, it's just like
last week, you know, when you said you

didn't want that last donut, so I ate
it. And I wanted that donut exactly!

But you couldn't say it.

You just let it sit there for a week and
a half. Eventually, someone was going

to eat it.

Yeah, you know who?

The sleazeball who shoves his best
friend to the side. No, actually, it's

one who's man enough to take it.

You knew it.

You knew I liked her, and you went after
her anyway.

Okay, you know what your problem is,
Pete?

You don't know what you want. You know
what woman, what job, what nothing.

Yeah, well, you know what you want, but
you're never going to get it. I'd like a

new roommate. I want one, too.

Fine! Fine! I'm sleeping on that couch!
Fine!

In front.