All language subtitles for Two Guys and a Girl s03e17 Feast or Fireman

Hey, Burke, check out what I got in the
mail. It's my company bonus.

Pete, I'm really tired.

I've just come off a double shift and...
I just don't care.

What the hell?

Somewhere there's a dancing hippo
without a complete costume.

This is the thanks I get for being the
top mascara salesman at Earthglow?

It's perfect, all right? You know what?
The weatherman said that later today it

would be raining.

Men.

Hey, guys, I volunteered to read to the
kids at the hospital, so can I borrow

your comic book collection?

What's so funny?

Come on, Cher, you know those aren't
insured for travel.

Oh, okay, then. I'll just look into
their sweet, innocent eyes and tell them

sorry. There are no stories for story
time today.

All right.

Oh, oh, oh, I know. I'll tell them the
story of the two selfish losers on the

choo -choo train to hell.

You know, we are not going to hell,
okay? I heal kids.

And Pete, well, I am not going to hell.

You guys are so lucky.

You know, you help people.

I sell stupid makeup to stupid makeup
wearers.

I wear makeup.

You help people. I help ugly people.

No.

Come on. You always complain a couple of
months into every new job you get. You

always do this.

You know, we can't all have fulfilling
work. You know, the world needs drones,

too.

I am not a drone.

I can have fulfilling work.

I'm going to get a job that's meaningful
and that helps society.

You go, pink umbrella man.

back here. I thought you just got off of
a 12 -hour shift.

People die 24 hours a day, Ashley.

That's the hell I live with.

Time means nothing to me.

Oh, so you're not just doing it to make
everyone forget your drunken display at

the bachelor auction.

That was 127 hours ago. Get over it.

Hey, paging Dr.

Stolle.

Hello, Jerome.

Hey, guess who I am?

Anyone want to bid on this green apple?

So how'd your day go with that dude who
bought you for 100 bones, man?

I like Dave as a friend.

Dr. Bergen, I see you signed up for
another shift.

Would you like to get your green apple
in gear?

Man, why are you always bad -mouthing
her? She's funny.

What are you doing here? I just had a
physical. Oh, so I was wrong. You could

pay someone to touch you.

Actually,

you have something ugly on your
shoulders.

So what was the physical for?

I'm finally putting my life together.

I've decided I'm going to pursue the
thing I wanted to do ever since I was a

kid. The thing that I dreamed about.

Ashley, I'm going to be a fireman.

Pete, that is great. Listen, I want you
to tell me more, but I'm late for

astronaut school.

Pete, you can't just be a fireman.
There's a civil service exam, and it

training, not to mention at least some
courage.

Ashley, I'm way ahead of you, all right?
I already passed my physical, and I

talked to a guy about volunteering at
the fire station. So now...

We're all in the family of saving lives.

And there's the garage where we keep the
fire engines.

Yes! You have the red trucks.

Because some trucks are yellow now.

I don't like the yellow ones.

Pete, Bruno, Jimmy, and Mick.

This is Pete's first day.

Hey!

Hey.

This is Scorch.

Oh, Scorch, what a great name.

Yeah, so, um, ironic.

Yeah, we're all poets.

Are you wearing perfume, son?

Oh, oh, no.

You know what? It's from my day job. I
work at the sawmill.

It's downwind from the Estee Lauder
mill.

A word of advice.

These guys are away from their wives a
lot.

Watch your back.

And here's... we store our equipment and
here's your very own peg.

Is that my helmet?

Pretty exciting, isn't it?

Try it on, son.

Jimmy, get the camera.

Thank you.

Yeah, sure. It's like an initiation.

It means I'm one of you guys. Yes, you
are.

Look, sir, I'm just... I'm so happy to
be here. You know, and maybe someday

I'll be sliding down that pole and
riding on that truck with you guys.

Well, you can slide down that pole right
now.

Really?

Absolutely.

Well,

this is Pete's first slide into the
mouth of fire.

is welcome to the ranks of heroes and
legends.

Let her up, Pete. Yes, sir. It's like a
dream come true. I can't hear you! Yes,

sir!

Yeah!

What?

Can I do it again?

Oh, it's great. I love reading to the
kids. Their eyes are just so wide.

That's the Demerol.

Well, volunteering at the hospital is
the best thing I've ever done. I don't

know, my life just seems so full.

I don't know how you do it, Sharon.

You spend eight hours at admissions, you
organize all of the hospital

fundraisers, then you read to the kids
in the children's ward, and at the same

time you're planning your own wedding.

Oh, that's coming up, isn't it?

Let me get this out of your way, Dr.
Walker.

Let's clear some space for Miss Hoddy.

Excuse me, wasn't I Miss Hottie this
morning?

Oh, boy. Cat fight over the germ.

Germ, aren't you supposed to be wearing
a hairnet?

I am. It took me forever to pull my hair
through it.

Hey, I hope you win.

Morning,

Lou. Hey, morning, Dr. Bourbon. I mean,
Bergen.

My mistake.

That's funny.

Hey, I just mopped over there, so watch
your 12 steps.

Oh, that's hilarious.

You missed a spot.

Bird, man, you look terrible.

You know, you really got to present
yourself better.

You don't like this? I was going for the
germ look.

Man, it's not a look, all right?

Germ is an attitude.

No, no, I'm not going home until I win
back the respect of the other doctors.

Bert, you can't just earn back their
respect overnight.

You were tanked. It could take months.

I mean, even the guys in detox are
making fun of you.

Hey, Sharon. Hi, guys. How you doing?
Hey, what are you doing here? Well, you

forgot to send the deposit check for the
reception band, so they canceled.

Oh, baby, I'd love to help you, but I
have a meeting in ten minutes.

Well, the...

The caterer also called. He said if we
don't decide on salmon today, we're

to be stuck with scrot.

What? Scrot's a funny word.

I'm punchy.

Honey, um, I can't do this on my own.
Baby, I'm sorry, but I have to go to

meeting. Oh, scrot.

I'm a mess. I'm going home.

Okay, several doctors have gotten sick,
and we've traced it back to the creamed

corn.

What?

I had some of the creamed corn. What's
going to happen to me?

You'll never eat it again, I'll tell you
that.

Okay, everybody, now we're going to be
short -handed, so I'm going to need

available doctor to work for at least
the next 24 hours.

Dr. Peel, what should I do? You go home.

What? Why?

I didn't eat the cream corn.

Forget it. You've already pulled two
double shifts.

No, and I'll pull two more. If need be,
I'll work from now until Thursday.

Today's Thursday.

Damn it, I'm a doctor, not a calendar.
You meet me.

Are you sure?

Yes. Okay, you, Dr. Walker, to ER.

Okay, all right.

break, okay? Doctors earn their
reputation in crises. Let's go. Wait,

this serious to me? Am I going to be
really sick? I sure hope so, sweetheart.

Oh, sorry.

No, you're not. Look on the bright side.
Now you'll be able to squeeze into that

wedding dress.

Really?

Yay!

All right, patient hottie.

Let's get you in that backless gown.

Dr.

Bergen, the patient in the corner had...
Chess pants. I know. His heart is fine.

It's an anxiety attack. I sang him a
little song and told him he matters.

Yeah.

Berk, got room?

Yeah, over here. Oh, thank God. There
are patients jammed up and down the

hallway. I'm so tired I can barely see
straight. I don't know how you keep

going. Well, I don't know. You know,
it's like I'm in a zone.

Everything I've learned is the doctor's
finally kicking in. It's all natural,

reflexive. I am a healing machine.

Chester, I'm open.

Okay.

Just to clarify, we don't go on those
walks for me.

How's it going?

Oh, it's going great. I did the dishes,
I mopped the floor, and the laundry's

done. Good job.

Hey, sir, also, I've been meaning to ask
you, when am I going to do real fireman

stuff? Because so far, my mother was a
fireman.

We're firefighters.

No, you're a firefighter. I'm Mr.

Belvedere.

Look, you know what? This just isn't
what I signed up for. I wanted to make a

difference in the world. I wanted to
help people.

No.

You signed up because you wanted to put
on your big boots.

and ride on the truck and wave at all
the pretty girls. Well, that's not how

works. You're just a volunteer.

Those men all earned the right to lay
their lives on the line, and they did it

by doing the same dirty work that you're
doing now.

So if you can't take it, I can get
another volunteer who's seven years

and doesn't ball up the socks.

Kills the elastic.

And don't eat anything. I'm making
something.

What are you looking at? I don't think
I'm taking you.

Come on, Scorch.

Good, good, because I need to talk to
you about these floral arrangements.

Oh, no, no, baby, this is not a good
time. It's story time.

Oh. Well, I got a story. You kids, you
want to hear a scary story?

Yeah! Okay, okay.

All right.

Once upon a time, there was a princess,
and she was betrothed to the most

patient prince of them all.

Now, they would have the most beautiful
wedding in all the realm, but the

princess forgot to send in the deposit
for the traveling minstrel, so they

booked a bar mitzvah instead.

But what the prince didn't know is that
within him resides the magical power of

free will.

And with this power, he can make
decisions on his very own.

The prince was also very wise.

Now, he knew if the princess didn't like
his decisions, she'd have him beheaded.

Look, if the prince ever wants to be
king, he's going to have to grow up.

Yeah, well, then as king, he had the
princess locked in the tower and struck

mute. Sucks for her.

Well, actually, what sucks, this story.

Yeah. Well, it's too bad because the
king didn't listen to the new princess

anymore and he lived happily ever after.
The end.

Yay!

I need some coffee.

God, my thumb is killing me from giving
so many injections.

Yeah. I don't know how junkies do it.

Okay, people.

The crisis is almost over and I want to
compliment everyone on their

performance.

Dr. Bergen?

Exceptional work tonight.

You showed strong leadership, excellent
decision -making, and medical skills

under extreme pressure. You should be
very proud of yourself.

Well, I felt like I owed it to the
hospital after what I did at the

I... No, no, no. Ancient history, Dr.
Bergen.

You're a good doctor. Bad drunk, but a
good doctor.

Thank you.

Now go home. Yeah, just after I finish
with this patient.

All right.

In the future, Ashley, your children
will ask...

what happened on this day, and you'll
say yes.

He was that good.

Huh. So, if I stuck you with a pen,
would you whiz around the room and wind

in the corner?

How you doing, Mr. Cooper?

Mr. Cooper?

Mr. Cooper?

Oh, my God, he's going into shock. What
happened? I don't know. I put him on a

saline IV. It's standard procedure. He
is a diabetic.

Charlie, I didn't check his chart. Have
the D -50 room after. No, I'll take him.

No, no, no, you won't. No, you won't.
You should have trusted my instincts and

sent you home earlier. Now get out of
here before you kill someone.

Great oven mitts.

Hey. Hey, buddy.

What are you doing here?

We just moved in across the street. Are
you a fireman?

Oh, that's cute.

I'm a firefighter.

I want to play in a truck.

Oh.

I'm sure you do.

I'm sure you just want to put on your
big boots and wave to all the pretty

girls.

Well, you know what? That's not how it
works.

The oven's on fire.

What?

Guess what?

I fought my first fire today.

Where? That's not important.

You should have seen it, Berg. There was
smoke and flames everywhere. And

without a thought for my own safety, I
rescued a small child from the clutches

of the Red Lady.

We firefighters call fire.

Good for you.

What's wrong with you? I nearly killed a
guy today, Pete.

What? Are you serious?

Yeah. I don't know what happened. I was
just so...

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on.

Hello?

Yeah, hold on.

Dr. Peele.

Hey, Dr. Peele, listen, I'm really...
Yeah.

Oh, good.

Okay.

I see.

I understand.

But... Well, what did she say?

Good news. The patient's going to be all
right.

My good news? It's great news.

And I've been suspended from the
hospital. That's not good news. That's

good news.

No, it's not.

Can't you appeal it?

Why?

Why? I mean, it's my fault. I screwed
up.

You made a mistake. It happens. No, it
can't happen, okay?

A doctor isn't supposed to end lives,
all right? A doctor's supposed to save

lives.

Do firefighters start fires? That's a
lie!

I got a chew.

I thought it was germ.

No, it's just a prince.

Sorry I stormed out on you earlier.

Oh, that's okay.

I could have done worse things.

I threw up on little Janie.

I'm starting to think that maybe you're
avoiding the wedding plans because you

want to avoid the wedding.

No. I kind of feel like maybe you don't
like me anymore.

I'm sorry I dumped all this on you.

But you're not getting out of marrying
me.

So we'll have squad.

And we'll get your cousin Andy and his
accordion to play at the wedding.

You know, when he puts his cymbals
between his knees, he sounds like a full

band.

So, let's talk matchbooks.

Okay.

Sharon and Johnny.

Sharon ampersand Johnny.

That's my favorite.

Sharon and Johnny.

I love you.

Sharon, there's a kid at the foot of the
bed.

Ben?