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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,110 --> 00:00:13,190 Can't believe this, Berg. 2 00:00:13,510 --> 00:00:16,850 I can't believe I came down here to borrow a plunger and I wound up in your 3 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,850 bedroom. 4 00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:19,210 Don't blame yourself. 5 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:22,190 Oh, I don't. I blame you. We agreed not to do this anymore. 6 00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:24,630 I didn't plan it. Oh, yeah, right. 7 00:00:24,870 --> 00:00:27,870 Hey, Berg, can I borrow a plunger? Oh, sure, Ash. Let me just put on some 8 00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:29,230 Gaye while we look for it. 9 00:00:31,790 --> 00:00:32,790 I know. 10 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:40,040 I know. I'm sorry. You are not sorry, because if you were sorry, you wouldn't 11 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,580 have done it. I know. I know. 12 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:43,360 I'm not really sorry. 13 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,900 Ferg, we are supposed to be friends. 14 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:51,400 First, you dumped me for no good reason, and now you're messing with my head. 15 00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:52,580 It's not nice. 16 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,300 She never was much of a cuddler, was she? 17 00:00:58,800 --> 00:00:59,800 No, she's right. 18 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,780 What the hell is wrong with me? 19 00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:05,540 I can't date right. I can't break up right. I shouldn't be with anyone. 20 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,520 I could love a bad name. 21 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,240 I have to be stopped and I'm just the guy to do it. 22 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:16,260 Good for you, Bert. 23 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,140 Yeah, you know, I'll just hang out with you. 24 00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:22,140 Yeah, we'll get a big screen TV, a couple of recliners, live out the rest 25 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,098 days in peace. 26 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:24,620 No more women. You with me? 27 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:26,360 Oh, one sec. 28 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,080 No. 29 00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:36,930 This place was busy last night. 30 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:46,110 Hey, baby. 31 00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:48,530 Hey, found something for you? 32 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:49,708 Oh, what is it? 33 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,430 They're having a big wedding dress sale. 34 00:01:52,230 --> 00:01:53,970 I didn't know there was such a thing. 35 00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:56,130 That's a riot. 36 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,470 Actually, I was thinking you might want to check it out. 37 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:07,960 Johnny. I spent four months picking out my wedding dress. It's a cocoa bocce. A 38 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:08,959 cocoa bocce. 39 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,720 Well, it's straining our budget. Straining our budget. 40 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:17,940 Okay, then I'll just have to ask my dad to chip in a little more. No, he's 41 00:02:17,940 --> 00:02:20,760 already paying for the church and the hall and the catering. All right, then 42 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,080 I'll just have to dip into the house account. No, not again. 43 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:28,400 No. See, just as my pride won't allow me to go to your father, your pride won't 44 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,620 allow you to dip into the nest egg. 45 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:31,880 It won't? 46 00:02:32,850 --> 00:02:33,850 Oh, you're way too proud. 47 00:02:35,090 --> 00:02:36,330 Well, then what are we going to do? 48 00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:40,450 Johnny, stop fooling around. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 49 00:02:40,690 --> 00:02:42,750 Let me put this into perspective for you. 50 00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:46,390 You buy that dress, and we can't afford to invite my family to the wedding. 51 00:02:47,390 --> 00:02:48,390 Hey. No. 52 00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:52,650 What is so important about this dress? 53 00:02:52,930 --> 00:02:54,910 Because this dress is going to make the wedding. 54 00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:58,730 Everybody is focused on the bride. Come on, don't you want me to look perfect? 55 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:02,770 Sweetie, you would look perfect if you came to the wedding wearing overalls. 56 00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:05,190 Yes, but I want our wedding to look different from your sister's. 57 00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:10,530 Just think about it. 58 00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:13,190 All right. 59 00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:15,430 But I was just thinking... My family is coming. 60 00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:16,730 Okay, okay. 61 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,970 I think I'm going to call Julie. 62 00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:30,050 You just are this morning. 63 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,310 Want my advice? 64 00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:36,030 What? 65 00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:40,850 What? I just saw your alleged ex -girlfriend flee your apartment, hit you 66 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:43,350 the head with a plunger, and you're asking me if I want your advice. 67 00:03:45,290 --> 00:03:46,290 It's just funny. 68 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:49,929 Hey, chef. 69 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:50,930 Hey, I need your advice. 70 00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:52,450 Asberg is on a roll. 71 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:54,870 I gotta make a phone call. 72 00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:56,750 Look at this dress. Stunning, right? 73 00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:58,210 Yeah, it's beautiful. 74 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,000 Well, this is the one that I've been dreaming about wearing. 75 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:05,680 But Johnny wants me to get a dress at this... sale. 76 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,420 I mean, who buys a wedding dress at a sale? 77 00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:14,200 I bought a sweater on sale once, and I can't explain it, but... people knew. 78 00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:20,399 The blue knit? 79 00:04:23,860 --> 00:04:24,860 Okay, I see. 80 00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:26,200 I'm sorry to bother you. 81 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:27,500 Okay. Bye -bye. 82 00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:30,530 You're terrible. I wrote her number down wrong. 83 00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:32,910 Remember when I didn't want a guy to call me? 84 00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,090 I'd give him the number to the gay men's chorus. 85 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,670 It's a bad time for that story, Cher. 86 00:04:52,130 --> 00:04:53,130 Yeah. 87 00:04:54,450 --> 00:04:55,450 Disposal shot. 88 00:04:55,490 --> 00:04:56,510 I'll just switch it for the new one. 89 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,840 God, Sharon's so lucky to have you. Yeah, I keep telling her. 90 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,920 I've always dated smart guys who couldn't change a light bulb. I really 91 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:06,920 regular people. 92 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,080 I'm going to give you a chance to rephrase that. 93 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:14,020 What? Oh, no, no, no. Gosh, don't take it the wrong way. 94 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,280 I'm just saying, you're not complicated. You're simple. I like that. 95 00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:22,460 I meant rephrase it nicer. 96 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,660 Come on, Johnny. Why are you being so sensitive? 97 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:29,240 I mean, you're handy. That's a good thing. 98 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:30,960 I mean, I couldn't fix this thing. 99 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,700 That's right. Well, I mean, I could if I had a book or something. 100 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,740 I mean, hey, it's not like it's physics. 101 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,640 But I don't have to. You're here. 102 00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:40,620 Well, not anymore. 103 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,860 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going? 104 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,219 Fix it yourself. 105 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:49,860 Oh, wait. Come on, Johnny. Come back. You're smart. I'm sure you know lots of 106 00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:51,480 things that I don't even care about. 107 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,440 That's 13 Julie Sutton's down, one to go. 108 00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:07,840 A department store is never going to have my dress. 109 00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:11,000 Well, then you'll just get another one and that'll be your dress. 110 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,780 Hey, you're not being a very good girlfriend. 111 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:18,440 Bert, help. 112 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:20,940 Look at all the women I'm not going to marry. 113 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,040 Oh, it's ringing. 114 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,140 Sure. Sure, yeah, I lured them in with my dazzling charm and a quick wit. 115 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,840 But it's not fair because in the end, I'm just a heartbreaker. 116 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,280 I am. 117 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,220 Hello, is this Julie Sutton? 118 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:40,860 This is Pete. 119 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,180 Did you sleep with me last night? 120 00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:49,000 Well, no. I think I wrote down her number wrong. 121 00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:52,380 No, she did not blow me off. 122 00:06:53,940 --> 00:06:57,820 Pete, why don't you just give up? I mean, I appreciate your optimism, but 123 00:06:57,820 --> 00:06:58,820 really. 124 00:06:59,909 --> 00:07:03,990 Jared, she did not blow me off. All right? Last night was about something 125 00:07:04,210 --> 00:07:07,350 Come on. Pete, every woman you meet, you run around saying, she and I connected. 126 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:10,490 I'm telling you, guys, this time it was different. 127 00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:12,510 How? She and I had a connection. 128 00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:15,850 You know, remember when you met Johnny? 129 00:07:16,130 --> 00:07:17,270 You just knew, right? 130 00:07:17,790 --> 00:07:24,130 Yeah. And, Bird, you knew when... When you saw that belt you were wearing, 131 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,210 right? 132 00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:28,600 I appreciate you trying to keep me in the conversation, Pete. 133 00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:32,060 I'm just thinking, when am I going to meet a girl like that? There she is! 134 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,000 Julie! Julie, it's Pete! 135 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,640 I broke your... Julie! 136 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,060 Julie! I broke your number down wrong! 137 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000 Julie! 138 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,260 Julie! Julie! 139 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,060 Hi. It's not going to work. 140 00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:15,430 Freely turning, Tim. 141 00:08:18,270 --> 00:08:19,270 Step three. 142 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:22,930 The garbage disposal should easily come unfastened from the housing. 143 00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:25,270 Ease up, Tim. I'm still on step two. 144 00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:30,710 And remember, we need to remove any bracelets or watches that might get 145 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,570 Well, maybe we should have made that step one, Tim. 146 00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:58,490 Yeah, does anyone else think mannequins are hot? 147 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,260 Okay, Pete, get in there and start breaking wind. 148 00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,350 No voting accident. 149 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,500 Stay here with him, and I'm going to look on the other side of the store. 150 00:11:47,850 --> 00:11:49,470 You're going to a wedding, you want to show up the bride. 151 00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:05,330 to wear jewelry when you work on plumbing. 152 00:13:06,770 --> 00:13:10,090 Yeah. Yeah, you can't see it, but I'm showing you a finger. 153 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,290 I can take care of that. 154 00:13:17,410 --> 00:13:23,370 So you've been here all day, huh? You must really have to go to the bathroom. 155 00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:24,269 Oh, God. 156 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,970 Yeah, I'm trying not to think about it. Yeah, I can't blame you. 157 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,360 Simple? 158 00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:43,100 I thought you said that was a good thing. Hmm. 159 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,220 Johnny Confused. 160 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,680 What do you want from me? 161 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,120 I want you to say you're sorry and admit to yours. 162 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,000 one -night stand before you got married? 163 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,540 You used me. 164 00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,820 No. No, Pete, it was more than that. 165 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:25,340 Look, I didn't mean for this to happen, but it's just there was this feeling 166 00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:26,340 between us. 167 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,380 Could it be described as a connection? 168 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:31,540 Yes. 169 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,800 Okay, all right, all right. So I'm not out of my mind. Not at all. 170 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:39,600 I just couldn't give you my number because my fiancé is a little paranoid. 171 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,380 Imagine that. 172 00:14:56,870 --> 00:15:00,530 Not my style, but still very nice. I know. I can't believe they have it here. 173 00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:01,570 It's the only one like it. 174 00:15:02,070 --> 00:15:04,310 Guys, just switch the lights to the mirror. We're so long. 175 00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:07,630 I know. All I want to do is see how the bath helps me get out of here. Yeah, me 176 00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:10,890 too, but the woman said it was going to be up to a four -hour wait. Right, 177 00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:14,610 honey? There is a lot of hot brides in here. 178 00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:20,590 Hey, hey, you know, we're roughly the same size. I mean, why don't I try on 179 00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:22,970 yours and you can try on mine, then we can both see the baths. 180 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,750 Not if she steals it. 181 00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:35,750 And the only thing more 182 00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:41,910 wrong than what I said was not admitting how wrong I was to have said it. 183 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:44,710 Keep going. 184 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:53,000 And so not only do I owe you an apology, but all... people like you, and if 185 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,140 you'd like, I will go on the home shopping channel and apologize to them 186 00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:57,140 personally. 187 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,300 Or I can just chew your arm off like the coyotes do. 188 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,880 Well, Johnny, I cannot win with you. You're obviously doing this to torture 189 00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:09,520 You just can't seem to understand how you are. 190 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,140 Hasn't anyone ever made you feel stupid? 191 00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:13,780 No. 192 00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:15,720 How many years of school have you had? 193 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,900 A year of prep school, four years of college, and three years of med school. 194 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:22,350 And yet you are going to die in a sink. 195 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:29,030 Johnny, that's not gonna... Oh. 196 00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:32,350 Welcome to stupid. 197 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:41,070 Johnny, I am so sorry. 198 00:16:41,950 --> 00:16:42,950 Apology accepted. 199 00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:44,730 Now, finish this up for you? 200 00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:46,390 You're a good guy. 201 00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:47,610 Thanks. 202 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:54,380 I am going to go wash up, and if you happen to be done before I get back, 203 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:57,140 here is just a little something for your trouble. 204 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,140 Oh, God, I did it again. 205 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,839 See, now, a dumb guy would give that back. 206 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:08,940 Take it off! 207 00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:11,520 No, it's mine! 208 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:16,640 Mine! What's going on? It's a long story, but it's given me a great idea 209 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,640 pay -per -view special. 210 00:17:29,690 --> 00:17:33,370 Okay, this is getting out of hand, all right? Just give the woman her dress. 211 00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:36,570 My wedding will be ruined if I don't have this dress. 212 00:17:37,070 --> 00:17:39,090 Please, please, you don't understand. 213 00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:41,130 My happiness depends on this. 214 00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:45,130 If the sanctity of your marriage depends on a lousy gown, then I feel sorry for 215 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,530 you and the man that you're going to marry. 216 00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:49,870 So I can keep it? 217 00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:56,190 And every time you look at it, I hope you remember how low you sunk to get it. 218 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,370 And I'm taking your clothes. 219 00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:04,290 Well, honey. 220 00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:06,370 There. Looks like you got everything you wanted. 221 00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:09,230 Yeah. I feel really lucky. 222 00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:14,870 Oh, all right. 223 00:18:15,570 --> 00:18:18,290 Sharon, you know what? You're calling a lot of attention to us. 224 00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:38,030 Look, she's the prettiest bride on the subway. 225 00:18:42,650 --> 00:18:44,370 I can't believe she's getting married. 226 00:18:44,650 --> 00:18:46,890 Nah, just like my girlfriend. 227 00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:49,890 I'm sorry, man. 228 00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:52,750 Nah, don't be. No, they don't all work out. 229 00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,550 How do you think they're positive? 230 00:18:55,570 --> 00:18:59,530 You know, you only go around in this world once, Berg, and I think it's 231 00:18:59,530 --> 00:19:02,130 important to remember, fiancé or not, 232 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,820 I got me some lovin' last night. 233 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:12,100 I did too, but I feel guilty about it. Oh, come on. Stop beating yourself up. 234 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,240 Ashley will get over you. 235 00:19:13,660 --> 00:19:14,660 I don't know. 236 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,360 Pretty special. 237 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:20,800 You know what? It'll happen. 238 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:22,340 And you know what? 239 00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:23,880 Maybe she'll even learn a lesson. 240 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,100 Stay away from the special one. 241 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,880 Well, that's a good way to look at it. 242 00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,900 Change in the world. One girl at a time. 243 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,420 Oh, hey, Cher. 244 00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,680 Cher, there's a seat over here. 245 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,020 You guys are such gentlemen. 246 00:19:47,580 --> 00:19:49,280 So, are you ready to talk yet? 247 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,580 That woman was right. 248 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,000 No, she wasn't. Yes, she was. I'm a horrible person. 249 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,960 What does my happiness with Johnny have to do with this lousy dress? 250 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,400 Hey, this dress is going to make the wedding. 251 00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:04,620 Did I actually say that? 252 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:07,760 Look at my values get so out of whack. 253 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,340 I didn't used to be like this. I wanted simpler things. 254 00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:15,400 Well, you have Johnny. 255 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,600 You know what, do you remember how I used to be in college? 256 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,540 I mean, I didn't care about how I looked or what I wore. I cared about things 257 00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:24,540 that mattered. 258 00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:28,450 I like that person. 259 00:20:30,710 --> 00:20:34,030 Look, Sheriff, wherever you decide to be, 260 00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:36,310 we're still going to be here. 261 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,490 No matter what. 262 00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,750 Okay. I know. 263 00:20:42,810 --> 00:20:46,890 By the way, he's had some gum. 264 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,340 We don't need to release doves. Doves are too expensive. 265 00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:02,320 Pigeons will be just fine. 266 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,120 Okay. And no limo. We'll just grab a cab. 267 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,500 If that's what you want. 268 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,280 And we don't need to buy our own flowers. 269 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:16,100 Hey, maybe we'll luck out and the church will have a funeral right before us. 270 00:21:18,380 --> 00:21:19,840 Thanks for putting up with me. 271 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:24,400 Wow. 272 00:21:25,590 --> 00:21:26,590 That was some sale. 20202