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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,080 Is this crazy or what? 2 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,440 Scott, how did you find this place? 3 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:25,759 It was hidden. 4 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,420 I was down in the basement changing the fuse. I moved this book. The whole wall 5 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,279 swung open. 6 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,400 The joy of elderly sex. 7 00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:35,620 You'll thank me one day. 8 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,400 Whoa! It looks like no one's been in here for years. 9 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,320 Yeah. I thought it'd be a perfect place for you guys to have your haunted house 10 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,320 tomorrow night. 11 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:50,420 I always have it at Peakyburg's. I already rigged the refrigerator to say, 12 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:52,060 out. 13 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,560 And the bathroom speaks for itself. 14 00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:58,540 Help me find a light switch. 15 00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,300 Whoa, who do you think all this stuff belongs to? 16 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:03,280 Property of Ed. 17 00:01:04,620 --> 00:01:06,100 No, can't be. 18 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:07,520 What? What can't be? 19 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,660 My grandpa used to tell me stories about a guy named Ed. Who was that? 20 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,200 Ed was a promising young neurosurgeon. 21 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:19,040 Lived in Boston some hundred years ago. 22 00:01:19,740 --> 00:01:26,220 Story is, he spent every night in his lab doing... really bad stuff. 23 00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:29,560 You suck at scary stories. 24 00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:30,900 I'm not done. 25 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,040 One night, an angry mob descended upon Ed's laboratory, destroying Ed's work. 26 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:38,960 Cool. 27 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,160 Legend has it, he still waits. 28 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,440 No. 29 00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:45,440 Lurks. No, no, wait. 30 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,980 Ready to take his bloody revenge. 31 00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:54,260 Scary. 32 00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:00,180 Whoa. 33 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,720 This place is amazing. 34 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,560 Of course we have to have the haunted house here. 35 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,760 The kids will be traumatized for life. 36 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:11,300 Gonna make such a great mom. 37 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,360 Ha ha ha ha! 38 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,000 Maybe we should keep the haunted house up here. I mean, the basement might 39 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,220 the kids. 40 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,020 That's okay, Petey. You could sleep with me and Ashley tonight. 41 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:56,379 Hey, guys. 42 00:02:56,380 --> 00:02:57,380 Hey. You got everything? 43 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,620 Yeah. Bring eyeballs. 44 00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:04,280 Bert, you work at a hospital. You couldn't have gotten real eyeballs? 45 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:08,140 Well, I tried, but a blind kid beat me to them. 46 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,320 Hey. Hey, baby. How was the hospital? 47 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,270 Eh. I was in the ER all day. 48 00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:17,790 You're working on Halloween? I thought you'd be spending time with your family 49 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:18,790 in Salem. 50 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:26,950 Gee, it's nice to see my spell to turn you into a witless turd has taken 51 00:03:29,190 --> 00:03:32,370 We've got to get started on the blood punch before Johnny gets back with the 52 00:03:32,370 --> 00:03:34,270 eye. I still need to figure out my costume. 53 00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:37,210 Why don't you borrow some of Pete's pants? Then you can go as a kid with a 54 00:03:37,210 --> 00:03:38,250 recent growth spurt. 55 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:43,120 you can put on Ashley's pants and go as a real man. 56 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:47,660 Hey. 57 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,700 I'm sorry, man. I was aiming for her. 58 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,040 Wow. Look at that lightning. 59 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:59,120 You know, it's funny. All year long, you tell kids, whatever you do, don't take 60 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,160 candy from strangers. 61 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,460 Come on, Ashley. Get in the Halloween spirit. 62 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:07,940 Halloween's about coming together as a community to scare the hell out of eight 63 00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,860 -year -olds who pee their asses off. Aquaman costumes. 64 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,040 Someone jumped out at me. 65 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,100 I can't believe you guys. There is nothing scary about Halloween. 66 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,820 Why are you so down on Halloween? 67 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,160 Is it all those little girls dressing up like you? 68 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:30,840 Irene, 69 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,820 what's wrong? Why were you screaming? 70 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,080 Was I screaming? 71 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,920 I must have been thinking out loud. 72 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,560 A danger to yourself? 73 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:48,220 Someone's a Halloweeny meanie. 74 00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:51,900 I thought you guys were having a haunted house. 75 00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:55,220 We are. We're setting it up in the basement, but it's not ready yet. So 76 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:56,340 just hang out here with the whole gang. 77 00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,120 There's no place like home. 78 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,900 Okay. Tell you what, I give you permission to go down there and have 79 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:05,900 own sneak preview. 80 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,500 You think there's a man crazy enough for her out there? 81 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:24,920 After you. 82 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,480 What, are you scared? 83 00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:28,440 No, I'm not scared. 84 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,140 I'm just being polite. 85 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:40,100 Really? You're in a damp, gloomy, rat -infested basement 86 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:45,480 on a dark, stormy Halloween night? 87 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:48,620 You're not scared? 88 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,000 You should be. 89 00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:58,140 Ashley, if you're here, who's running hell? 90 00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:08,460 God. 91 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:10,840 Wow, this is incredible. 92 00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:14,620 I imagine you were grown in a lab much like this. 93 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,220 But I think we should go back upstairs. 94 00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:25,190 You're like the little sister I never had. 95 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,490 Ooh. 96 00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:35,190 Look. A skill saw with blood on it. 97 00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:41,590 Sharon's such a sicko. It's not a skill saw. It says skull saw. 98 00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:44,990 Are you Decatur? 99 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,020 Matthew's listening to the radio in the tub again. 100 00:06:57,660 --> 00:07:00,160 It's good to see Ashley get into the Halloween spirit. 101 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:01,940 That was Pete. 102 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,400 I don't know. Ask the witch you're dating. 103 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,220 You are the witch I'm dating. 104 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,800 Ferg, I have a headache. Leave me alone. 105 00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:43,440 Yo, Endora, talk to your boyfriend. 106 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,960 Would you pipe down, Pete? My head is throbbing. 107 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,680 And my voice sounds odd. 108 00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:52,480 What was the last thing you remember? 109 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,800 Well, you were being a big baby. 110 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:56,960 And then we came... 111 00:07:58,890 --> 00:07:59,890 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 112 00:08:01,010 --> 00:08:02,010 The caterer. 113 00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:06,250 The caterer must have switched our brains. 114 00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:11,110 Very funny, guys. Keep it up, and we'll leave you strapped in like this. You 115 00:08:11,110 --> 00:08:14,250 see? You see? You see? I told you. I told you, Ashley. I told you I didn't 116 00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:17,090 to come in here, but now you're the little sister I never had. 117 00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:18,710 Now look what happened. 118 00:08:19,410 --> 00:08:23,670 How did you guys get strapped in? The guy was easy, but the girl put up quite 119 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,670 fight. 120 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,740 created the version while I run. 121 00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:38,400 Who are you? 122 00:08:39,299 --> 00:08:41,659 Ed. See? Ed. 123 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,620 Why are you doing this? 124 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,580 I'm doing it for revenge. 125 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,220 But we didn't do anything to you. 126 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:53,780 Okay, so revenge is the wrong word. Is my motivation so important? 127 00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:17,250 She must have smoked marijuana once. 128 00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:20,470 Don't do drugs, kids. 129 00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:29,970 Want to see something funny? 130 00:09:58,190 --> 00:09:59,270 Are you always this gassy? 131 00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:51,860 Okay, just a little farther. 132 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:53,680 Lucky to run into you. 133 00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:54,940 You're a lifesaver. 134 00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:56,500 I'm a people person. 135 00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:03,020 You know, if you're going to freeze yourself, you're going to need a lot 136 00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,020 dry ice than that. 137 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,700 No, it's for the punch bowl. 138 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,180 Oh, then you're fine. 139 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,000 So, um, what do you do? 140 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:16,640 I don't think you'd be interested. It's kind of cerebral. 141 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,340 No, I'm a pretty open -minded person. 142 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,880 Well, maybe I could come back later to pick your brain. 143 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,160 Later. 144 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,060 What a nice guy. 145 00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,120 Hey, guys, you down there? 146 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:39,680 Hey. 147 00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:42,660 What are you guys doing? Oh, Johnny, thank God you're here. A mad scientist 148 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,380 switched all our brains. 149 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,400 With what? 150 00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:51,730 Others, duh. Now get us out of here. 151 00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:55,430 Is there some kind of prank? 152 00:11:56,190 --> 00:11:57,830 Johnny, honey, honey, Johnny. 153 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:01,690 I'm over here. 154 00:12:03,330 --> 00:12:06,130 You guys, enough is enough. Come on. Pete, help me up. Over here. 155 00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:07,910 Hello. 156 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,830 I guess that would make you Ashley. 157 00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,630 Yes, I'm Ashley. What is so hard to understand? 158 00:12:15,290 --> 00:12:17,550 Come on, you guys. Your trick -or -treaters are already starting to 159 00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:18,910 Johnny. 160 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:20,860 Can't you tell that it's really me? 161 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:25,260 Look, you guys, if you're just gonna... Johnny! 162 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:31,140 Honey? 163 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,120 Hi, baby. 164 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,060 We should call the police. 165 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,700 And tell them what? 166 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,020 Somebody swapped our brains? 167 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,300 And get that stupid look off my face. 168 00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:56,250 I knew you could do it, Johnny. You were so good with your hands. 169 00:12:57,930 --> 00:12:58,930 Berg is Sharon. 170 00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:00,990 Sharon is Berg. 171 00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:02,690 You're Pete. 172 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:03,990 Where's Ashley? 173 00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:05,489 Guess what? 174 00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:07,090 I just peed standing up. 175 00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:09,810 Okay. 176 00:13:10,030 --> 00:13:11,029 Problem solved. 177 00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:12,330 The problem is not solved. 178 00:13:12,670 --> 00:13:18,550 I mean, look at me. I have breath and a thong and... And I'll be right back. 179 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:25,100 kitchen. Sharon Berg in the living room. 180 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,400 Berg, get your hands out of your pockets. 181 00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:02,260 forgot to tell you. 182 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,460 Oh, my God. 183 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:14,120 And you are going to be in no mood to go to work on Monday. 184 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,700 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My new job. 185 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,060 And my boss is such a dog. And with my luck, he'll have bad taste. 186 00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:24,420 All right, Pete, put a cork in it. I have my own problem. 187 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,200 You should buy some boxes or you're never going to have kids. 188 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,030 a little steam bath social. 189 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:12,910 For once, I could sit in a room full of naked babes without rerouting the old 190 00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:13,910 blood supply. 191 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:18,130 Johnny, stop me. I'll get a reputation. 192 00:15:18,730 --> 00:15:22,250 Oh, my God. What are we going to do? 193 00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:28,870 What if we never get out of these bodies? What if we are trapped this way 194 00:15:28,870 --> 00:15:29,870 the rest of our lives? 195 00:15:41,550 --> 00:15:42,449 Honey, I'm scared. 196 00:15:42,450 --> 00:15:43,450 Whoa, whoa, that there. 197 00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:49,970 Just, uh, walk it off. 198 00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:54,510 Johnny, be sweet to me. 199 00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:00,830 Johnny, she's scared. She needs you. 200 00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:02,770 Go to her. 201 00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:09,670 I need a beer. Oh, yeah, that'll fix everything. 202 00:16:12,460 --> 00:16:18,440 here do you love me for my mind or is it the way i look well of course i love 203 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:19,440 you for your 204 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,370 That's okay, baby. You don't have to kiss me. 205 00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:03,390 I mean, you know I love you. I love you, too. 206 00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:27,220 Something goes wrong. 207 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,060 That's a chance I'm willing to take. 208 00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:42,220 Okay. I see a thingy for that thingy. 209 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,720 A thingy for that thingy. 210 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,060 Attach this to your dad right here. 211 00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:53,740 And then throw the switch. 212 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:56,820 Or this switch. 213 00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:00,380 And what the hell, it's beating Ashley. 214 00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:09,400 You guys okay? Did it work? 215 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,160 Wait a minute. 216 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,320 I can't tell. 217 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,220 Okay, okay. Time to do Berg and Sharon. 218 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,660 All right, Johnny, just hurry up before that crazy guy comes back. 219 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,180 Sharon? Honey, sweetie, I'm going to put your pretty little brain right there. 220 00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:28,300 Say it, okay. 221 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:29,980 Chick Bird's brain. 222 00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:05,940 Upsy -daisy. 223 00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:08,880 Severed head is no reason not to be a lady. 224 00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:14,440 Is the cerebral cortex lining up with the spinal column? 225 00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:16,620 Sure. 226 00:19:18,100 --> 00:19:21,720 Do you have any idea what you're doing? Hey, I put your bookshelf together, 227 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:22,840 didn't I? 228 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,920 Johnny! Johnny, the crazy guy behind you! Okay, stay away from us. 229 00:19:27,540 --> 00:19:28,760 Your brain -switching head? 230 00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:30,020 That's me. 231 00:19:30,220 --> 00:19:33,560 Of course, I do other things, but I'm pretty much focused on that right now. 232 00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:37,550 Remember you promised I could pick your brain? 233 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,380 down here. 234 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:17,860 Okay, how about this switch? 235 00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:20,520 Oh, yeah, come on. 236 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,120 Oh, whatever! 237 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,000 Well, I guess I won't be getting that breath back. 238 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,320 Hey, guys, the game's almost over. You want to go get something to eat? 239 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,940 Yeah, let's just wait for Sharon to get back. Got to hand it to you, Johnny. 240 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:45,439 You did a great job. 241 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,680 Yeah, it's great having everything back to normal. 242 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,100 Hey, Cher. 243 00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:52,180 Hi, 244 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,040 guys. 245 00:20:55,980 --> 00:20:56,980 Cher, 246 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:58,699 I need a shake. 247 00:20:58,700 --> 00:20:59,700 I just did. 248 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,320 Apparently I'm part Greek. 249 00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:07,240 I guess you really do love me from my mind. Yeah. 250 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,080 You're so strong. 17331