All language subtitles for Two Guys and a Girl s03e02 Au Revoir Pizza Place

You think you saw love in Sharon's eyes.

You know what I saw?

Pain. Pain because of me.

I'll let you know where I am.

Sharon, will you marry me?

Yes.

In theory.

In theory. What the hell does that mean?
I don't know. It is what it is. But

it's a yes, right?

Yes. In theory.

I heard yes.

Oh, no.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Why did Pete go to Paris?

For the snail.

He left because of me, didn't he?

Yeah. That's why everybody goes to
Europe.

In fact, at customs, they ask business,
pleasure, or because.

Why are you being like this?

I'm not being like this.

I'm being like this.

Okay, here's your name tag, James.

Oh, actually, everyone calls me Germ.

Yeah, but you see, Germ is not the best
nickname in a restaurant.

That's why Rat lost his job.

Good point, sir.

Sir.

You don't have to call me sir. I'm not
your boss.

I know, it's just my dad taught me to
respect, like, older people.

Hey, do you know my dad?

Do you know at the age of 25, the human
body begins to degenerate?

You stop producing brain cells, and your
ears, they begin to grow hair.

You can't stop the inevitable.

You can only slow it down with beer.

What's with him?

The new kid at work called him sir.

Oh, man, what a horrible thing to happen
to somebody so vain.

You know, the fact that somebody
realizes they're really good looking,

labeled vain.

Thanks for inviting us down for dinner.

Well, we wanted to celebrate your
engagement. Engagement in theory.

Hey, Sharon, you know what? We haven't
had a chance to see the ring.

A marquee? It's beautiful.

Gosh, one might almost be tempted to
wear it on the outside of the blouse.

We don't want to rush things, right,
honey?

Whatever makes you happy, sweetie.

If you're happy, I'm happy.

So apparently I'm very happy.

Bonjour, everyone!

Ah, Pete, you're back!

Pete, say, how was the trip? Oh, it was
great. It was great. And I want... Wait.

Colette.

Bonsoir.

Hey, look what Pete brought me from
Paris.

Everyone, this is my girlfriend,
Colette.

She doesn't speak English.

That would explain the gibberish.

How did you two kids meet?

Oh, oh. Oh, well, my first day in
France, some con artist stole all my

I got stinking drunk in the pouring
rain, and I fell into the street, and

Colette ran me over with her car.

That's exactly how my parents met.

What happened to the apartment?

Oh, Pete, the winds of change.

The previous pallet wasn't working for
me, so I decided to go sort of a ranch.

Ashley? I am so whipped.

You guys must be hungry.

Want to join us for dinner?

Ooh, champagne.

What's the occasion?

No occasion, just a few friends having
dinner.

Sharon and Johnny are engaged.

Wow.

Wow, engaged.

Actually, we're engaged in theory.

Oh, well, hey, congratulations. I'd
explain to Colette if I spoke French and

understood what you were talking about.

Why is everyone having such a tough time
with this? It's very simple. An

engagement is a promise to be married.

And I am promising to be engaged, which
in theory is a promise to be married.

Hence, we are engaged in theory.

Good luck finding a card for that.

Colette, are you hungry?

I don't know if it's the wine or

someone making out with Pete, but I've
lost my appetite.

Hey, man, I noticed you didn't charge
your friends for that slice.

Oh, yeah, because I found it in the
bathroom.

It's cool. I used to sneak my friends a
slice now and again.

Oh, you mean when you were my age?

Come on.

You know, we're practically the same
age. I mean, I'm into the same stuff you

are.

Yeah, right.

What are you doing this afternoon? Maybe
we can hang out.

Well, look, if you really want to, me
and my friends, we're going to drain my

parents' pool.

Drain party.

Yeah.

And then we're going to skate in it.

Huh? You guys have to empty it to skate?

Hey, Burke.

Hey. Okay, Colette. I want to be
completely honest with you.

I worked here for three years.

Okay, and with tips, I still only
managed to make minimum wage. I was a

loser.

Hey,

I don't understand same -language
relationships.

Germ, get her whatever she points to.
Pete, can I talk to you for a second?

His name is Germ?

Yeah, he's cool. He's up, Grandpa.

All right, I'll be right back. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Dave?

You can imagine what happens when I
leave for work. I don't have to imagine

You left your door open this morning,
Peter.

How long are you going to keep this up,
huh?

What are you talking about? This thing
with Frenchie.

I mean, come on. You know, you're just
doing this to rile up Sharon. I bet

just some woman you hired.

Okay, first of all, I'm broke.

Secondly, this has nothing to do with
Sharon, all right? Colette is amazing.

love is unconditional.

No questions asked. She asked questions.

You just don't know what they are.

Admit it, Pete. You don't really love
her.

You see, we connect in a way that you
will never, ever understand.

Come on, Colette.

We're out of here.

Leavey.

Exit duvet.

You want to go for a car ride?

Hey, honey, can you grab me a beer?

Sure.

Hey.

No, no, baby, this is a soda.

Well, it depends on how you look at it.

You see a soda, I see a beer in theory.

Was you?

We just stopped by to give you your
engagement gift.

Oh. You shouldn't have.

I know. That's what I said. But Colette,
she insisted that we buy it.

Or she was hungry. I don't know.

She seemed very excited.

Thank you very much. I'll put it right
over here with the others.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll just go
get started on those thank you notes.

So, that, uh, seems kind of silly to
wear that thing around your neck.

Oh, yeah, you're probably right.

But at least Johnny speaks English.

Hey, do you mind sharing? She's sitting
right here. Oh, she can't understand me.

She can tell by your tone.

Okay.

But I'm just saying, we have bimbos in
America, too.

You should be happy for me. I'm in love.
I'm happy for you.

And I hope you're...

Oh, that's very nice.

I hope you're not engaged in theory.

Only because someone in your life caused
you to not commit completely.

Not following you.

Okay.

Let's just say there's someone you had
feelings for.

And you thought that they had feelings
for you.

And they might have.

But said person has moved on.

Is said person Tommy at the market?

I just thought I'd mention it.

Hey, what did I miss?

Apparently nothing.

Oh, we're going to go.

Pete told me he went to Paris because he
had feelings for me.

Whoa, what?

What did you say?

What was I supposed to say? Colette was
sitting right there.

Oh, I don't know. How about, um, I'm in
love? Or how about I'm engaged?

How about I'm in love and engaged?

Do you see a theme here?

Are you jealous of Pete?

I'm an idiot. Why should I be jealous of
the guy you kissed?

How many times have I told you? I was
drunk. Man!

If it's not that, then why won't you
give me an answer? I did answer you. I

yes in theory. Yeah, and about that,
I've asked around. There's no such

Why do we have to rush into this?

We've only known each other for six
months.

You know what? I guess that's the
problem.

You've known me for six months, and you
feel rough, and I've known you for six

months, and I want to spend the rest of
my life with you.

Where are you going? I need to go think.

You know what, Sharon?

I deserve better than this.

Think about that.

Baby, what were you thinking?

Skateboarding in a swimming pool with a
bunch of teenagers?

Look, me and Sharon, we're just blowing
off a little steam, all right? Pete and

I used to do it all the time.

Yeah, but honey, that was a long time
ago.

I mean, look in there.

This is no place for a 26 -year -old to
be working.

I mean, drag in a whack -a -mole and you
got a Chuck E. Cheese.

You know what our problem is, Ashley?

You speak English.

Bird!

Hey,

bird. Yeah, here's the Betty.

The Betty is Ashley, and let me take a
stab in the dark. You must be Jerome.

Yeah, and you're hot.

And your name suits you.

Ho! Ho, ho, ho, ho! What the hell is
going on in here? We can't have a band

here!

Unless they rock!

Hey, Pete.

Looks like Colette finally found someone
else to talk to.

Yeah, why don't you try it?

No, but, Pete, this is your big chance.
Now you can ask Colette any questions

you might have about her. I know
everything I need to know, Ashley.

We're in love.

Well, um, here's one that's really been
gnawing at me.

Uh, Colette, what do you see in Pete?

She said he's the nicest guy she's ever
met.

Back in your box, Pandora.

Beacon Street.

Yeah, hold on. I'll page him.

Harold Sack?

Is there a Harold Sack here?

No. What?

Oh, sorry. Hold on, hold on.

Harry Sack.

I'm looking for a hairy sack.

Hey,

you.

Stupid kid.

She wants our issues.

Colette would like to know something.

Anything, anything.

What kind of a name is Burke? It's
actually short for Bergen, which is

She's so relieved she thought it was
Jewish.

Wow, and it sounded so beautiful in
French.

Come on, your French must be a little
rusty. Ask her something simple. Ask her

what we did today.

And best of all, he's not crawling with
Algerians.

Come on. She didn't say that.

Oh, not exactly. I had to clean up the
language.

A lot.

Are you okay?

Yeah,

I need some air.

Pete, Pete, hold on.

You gonna be okay?

You know, Burke, I was in love and
everything was perfect.

For a little while.

I took her out. It was a Friday night. I
woke alone to get the feeling right.

We started making out, and she took off
our bed. But then I turned on the TV,

and that's about the time she walked
away from me.

Nobody likes you on your train.

George! George!

What, it's too loud?

No! I've been naked!

What's my age?

Yeah,

well, that's... That's our gimmick, you
know, until we can afford some costumes.

Jack!

Jack, come here! I have something I want
to say to you.

Guys, I'm going to pull the plug.

Party's over. Everyone's got to go home.

No!

I'm going home!

Wait, what?

For some reason, I don't know, the idea
of a band playing naked just doesn't

thrill me anymore.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is,
I'm home.

Enjoy the pizza place, Drew. She's all
yours.

I quit.

Yeah, all right, but before you go, I'm
going to be late tomorrow.

Hey.

Hey.

Where's Colette?

Oh.

She's gone.

Really? Yeah. Turns out we weren't as
compatible as I once thought.

You know, me being from New Jersey and
her being a vile racist.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

You know that guy you were talking
about?

The one you said moved on?

Oh, you mean Tommy from the market?

Yeah. Has he really moved on?

Yeah.

Yeah, he realized that he...

Would have screwed up a great friendship
over something that wouldn't have

worked out.

That's probably right.

It's a knight necklace.

Call me crazy, I think it would work
better as a ring.

It's not that simple.

It's complicated. There's a lot of
things going on. Sharon, there's always

of things going on.

I guess it doesn't matter. I mean,
Johnny's gone anyway, so... What do you

he's gone?

Sharon, he moved out of your apartment
like a half hour ago.

What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Where
did he go? I don't know. He just took

off. How could you let him go? We've got
to go find him. Why? Why? You don't

really want to marry him? Yes, I do.

See?

It's not that complicated.

He didn't really move out, did he?

How should I know? I was busy driving
Adolf back to the airport.

talk to you about?

I got something I want to tell you, too.

I'd like my ring back.

What?

Well, seeing as how winter's right
around the corner and we're not getting

married, I'd like to get my snowblower
out of hock.

Well, you can't have it.

Fine.

Then I'm taking this clock.

What?

Johnny, you're right.

You probably do deserve somebody better
than me.

But I want more than anything for you to
be my husband.

Will you marry me?

Johnny?

So, now you're asking me to marry you.

What an interesting situation this is.

Tony. No, I'm torn.

I mean, I love you, but that's a
beautiful clock.

Okay, listen, come here.

You realize, if I agree to marry you, we
have to actually get married.

Yes, period, because I plan on telling
people.

Yeah.

Then yes.

Oh, man.

I should have let you twist in the wind
just a while longer.

I'm old.

You're not old.

They're young.

I want to be young.

You are.

Come on, it's all relative. At the
hospital, you never feel old. That's

of all the death and suffering.

Right, and at the hospital, you're seen
as a young intern, whereas at the pizza

place, you're just seen as a loser.

You have such a gentle way.